November 3, 2023 • 41 mins
In this episode of The Guy Who Knows a Guy Podcast, the host, Michael Whitehouse, introduces the upcoming JV Connect networking event and interviews networking expert Steve Sims. Steve shares his inspiring journey, emphasizing the role of curiosity and determination in his success, and dispels the myth that networking is reserved for certain backgrounds or personalities. He highlights the significance of having a clear purpose and intention in networking and the importance of follow-up to maintain and deepen relationships. Steve provides insights into the strategy of categorizing connections based on their potential and offers practical advice on efficient networking for both introverts and extroverts. The episode concludes with a focus on the power of organization, delegation, and prioritization in networking. Steve's valuable insights shed light on the art of building meaningful and impactful connections in the world of networking.
Steve can be found at :
And his new book is here:
Mentioned in this episode:
JV Connect, December 12-13, 2023
Join us for JV Connect, the dedicated networking event December 12th and 13th, 2023 https://www.jv-connect.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Michael Whitehouse (00:00):
Welcome back to the guy who knows a guy podcast.
We're so excited to be back with you.
And this season we are countingdown to J V connect the first of its
kind, December 12th to 14th, 2023.
This is going to be an incrediblededicated networking event, and you
are going to want to be part of it.
And this podcast here to helpprepare you to get the most
out of this incredible event.
(00:21):
I'm Michael Whitehouse,the guy who knows a guy.
And over the next few weeks, you're goingto get to hear from some of the best
people in the industry about networking.
As well as some solo training from me.
So be sure to join us on December12th to 14th for JB Connect.
And now, let's get to the interview.
Welcome once again to the guywho knows the guy podcast.
I'm Michael Whitehouse, the guy whoknows the guy and our guest today.
(00:42):
I'm very excited to have on.
It is Steve Sims, and I am super excitedbecause a few, a couple months ago, I was
sitting down thinking, so who are someof the networking influencers out there?
And one name that came to mind wasBob Berg, who you heard on the show
a few weeks ago, and the other namethat came to mind was Steve Sims and.
(01:03):
Now I've got the second one of those twopeople, the two biggest networking things
I can think of right in front of me.
So let me tell you about him iffor some reason you don't know him.
Do you know anyone that's worked withSir Elton John or Elon Musk, sent people
down to see the wreck of the Titanicon the seabed, or closed museums in
Florence for a private dinner party,and then had Andrea Bocelli serenade
(01:25):
them while they ate their pasta?
You do now!
Quoted as the real life Wizard of Ozby Forbes Entrepreneur Magazine, Steve
Sims is the best selling author of...
blue fishing, the art of makingthings happen and go for stupid, the
art of achieving ridiculous goals.
Sought after coach, top rated speakerafter keynoting in a variety of
networks, groups, associations, aswell as the Pentagon and Harvard twice.
(01:49):
That's pretty impressive.
Co founder with his son, Henry ofthe leading community for creative
disruptors, simsdistillery.
com.
Welcome to the guy who knowsa guy podcast, Steve Sims.
That's a hell of a lead up.
Steve Simms (02:03):
Thank you very much.
I don't know how I'm going tokeep that up, but I'll try.
Michael Whitehouse (02:07):
I have faith that you will be able to keep that up.
I have, have no doubt.
So for those who do not know your storyabout how you got started making these
amazing connections, share just a littlebit about how you got started doing that.
Steve Simms (02:20):
No different to everyone else.
I literally just grew up in EastLondon son of a construction firm.
So ended up working in the, inthe building trade very early on.
But us entrepreneurs, we'rekind of built different.
So something was in methat was going, is this it?
And I've always been a great believer.
You need two things in life.
(02:41):
You need curiosity andyou need aggravation.
Aggravation will cause youto actually do something.
Curiosity will send youdown a path to find it.
But if you're just curiousor just aggravated.
It doesn't work.
So get those two things married together.
I had it by the bucket loads when Iwas young and I just thought to myself.
(03:03):
We are the combinationof the room we're in.
We all know that now.
I didn't know it so poetically back then,but I just looked around at my bar and
it was full of a bunch of broke bikers.
And I'm like, well, hang on a minute.
No one here is going anywhere.
I'm one of them.
I need to change my room.
So I went out to try andhave those conversations.
(03:23):
And a lot of people callthat networking now.
And they call that, you know, kindof like getting to know people
and, you know, the influence.
But I wanted to speak to peoplethat were very successful and ask.
Why are you successful?
How do you view relationships?
How do you view time management?
How do you view culture?
And I wanted to have those conversations.
(03:44):
Quite simply, I wanted to podcastbefore podcasting existed.
And so I went out to try and find a way.
I left my construction firm and Ithen got involved in a ton of jobs.
That I was ill qualified for that mademe realize I should have been there.
So I get this education from trying tobe in places that didn't work till in
(04:08):
the end becoming what God built me for.
I became the doorman ofa nightclub in Hong Kong.
And while many people would havegone, well, you've gone down.
Yes, I had I now had a Harvard degree inhuman psychology right in front of me.
I was able to see how people with moneyinteracted with each other, but more
(04:32):
importantly, how people pretended theyhad money interacted with each other.
How people celebrate andhow people commiserate.
I got to see it all.
So I got a great degree in learninghow people interacted with each other
and then realized the key Of allnetworking that allowed me to go from
(04:52):
just being on the peripheral, being onthe outside, to actually being someone
of desire, being someone in the circlethat someone didn't want to let go.
And I became that person launched me intoa business where I basically launched the
world's leading experiential conciergefirm, and then obviously writing the
(05:13):
two books, blue fishing and go forstupid to teach others how to do it.
Michael Whitehouse (05:18):
I love so much about that story.
And I think so much is just, well,the first thing is that One of the
pushbacks I get when I share with peoplethat, you know, anyone can network and
there's opportunity out there and allthose principles is, well, that's easy
for you to say because, you know, yougot lucky and you went to the right
(05:38):
schools, you know, the right people.
And, and, you know, it soundslike you didn't go to the right
schools to build your network.
I mean, you did kind of the school of hardknocks, but it's not like you didn't go to
Harvard as a student and, and, you know,meet all the right people who hooked you
up with all the right jobs and get lucky.
You.
Went out there as the, the son of aconstruction worker and said, Nah,
(06:00):
I'm going to do something better.
Which sounds like something prettymuch anyone could have done.
Steve Simms (06:05):
Yeah, again, it was that aggravation.
It all comes down to whatyou're willing to settle for.
You know, are you willing to settlefor your excuses or are you willing
to settle for that education?
Both of them are gonna send you down thesame path, but one will stop you short.
There's a lot of people that go,as you said, oh, it's easy for you.
Oh, you are an extrovert.
(06:25):
Oh, you can do it.
That's bullshit.
You know, I'm big, I'm ugly,I'm crass, I'm inappropriate.
But I had a need and that needwas I need to know how come
you're successful and I'm not.
Yep.
And that was the early stage andintrovert, extrovert, those are badges.
(06:46):
I had a need.
I wasn't willing to settle for my income.
I wasn't willing to settlefor shitty motorbikes.
I wasn't willing to livein a rough neighborhood.
I wanted more of my life.
I had a demand.
Hey, if you're an introvert and you'rethinking, Oh, I can't do those things.
Trust me, fella.
I'm the, I'm one of thebiggest introverts out there.
(07:08):
But I had a need that said,right, if I'm going to do this,
there's got to be a purpose.
And that's all introverts need.
Introverts need a reason.
Why am I doing this?
I feel nervous about it.
Sure you do, Sonny.
But you need to know what the reason is.
If I can get in there and I can do that,and I can come out with it with this, my
house is better, my home is better, mywife's better, my kids are better, Ah!
(07:29):
Now I've got a reason.
I just need to do.
So, introverts, I personally think,make the best networkers in the planet.
But it's the need.
You've got to have that aggravation.
And if you want to kind of likego, well, it's easy for you.
Then why are youlistening to this podcast?
You know, your, your excuses, you're,you're just prying to one day.
(07:51):
Your excuses are play pay your bar tab.
They won't.
So, you know, get out of yourexcuses and start getting on.
Michael Whitehouse (07:57):
Yeah.
And I, I totally agree with that ideathat introverts are better networkers, and
I say this as an extrovert, because in.
With extroverts, it's, it's lower costfor me to just go meet more people.
So I'm, I'll go to anevent and talk to everyone.
Or as an introvert tends to be betterat follow up because you're like,
I don't want it to be 10 people.
Can I meet one person?
Just have a really goodrelationship with them.
(08:18):
And actually, I'd love you to talk a bitmore about that because I was watching
your, your talk this morning where,where you're talking about the power of.
Of that, that follow up ofsending a nice note or gift or
whatnot and the leverage of that.
So I'd like to talk about that, andthen the other thing I'd like to
talk about is, is I often say thatI'm better at making connections and
(08:40):
providing value early and not so goodat keeping track of the details and
remembering to send people things.
And I have the feeling that you'llprobably tell me something about, well,
that's, that's a bullshit excuse and...
You should get over it and do better.
So I wanted to have you chime in on that.
Steve Simms (08:57):
Again, it's that introvert thing.
The introvert will look for the purpose.
You know, you mentioned an extrovertwill go along to a networking event,
and as long as he's got the eyeballsand he's the center of attention and
he's getting loads of focus and chitchats and business cards, he's fine.
But an introvert will goalong for two conversations.
(09:17):
And when they have those conversations,They don't want to have another two
conversations the following week.
So they will make sure that thoseconversations turn into something.
Again, we work with hopefullyminimum output, maximum impact.
So make sure that everythingyou do is to the best possible.
(09:38):
We don't want to do a turkey shoot.
It literally will wear me out.
In fact, true story, I had an event, andI've been doing this for years, and I've
worked with everyone from Elton John,the Vatican, Elon Musk, you know, I'm
pretty successful, pretty well connected.
But I went out to an event inBeverly Hills the other day,
and this was two weeks ago.
And I went to a dinner at the Palms,and we had this meeting, and there was a
(10:02):
whole group of people there, and I knewmost of them, most of them knew me and
my credentials, so I had the credibility,there was no imposter syndrome, and I
chatted with them, and I spoke with them,and we conversed, and then I left the
event, walked around the corner to anotherrestaurant, went up at the bar, sat at the
(10:23):
bar, and had a drink on my own, just wayaway from people, Okay, and of course, I
could do a really good job of you know,scaring people away from me, you know, I
look like this, so I'm sitting there withme old fashioned, no one ever sits near
me, and I can make little notes of whoI met that night, that was, ah, this was
(10:44):
a good chat, that's a great, Associate,someone that you will bump into and go,
Hey, Johnny, Hey, Bob, one of those.
But then there were a few otherpeople that went, hang on a minute.
I can take this deeper.
You know, there's a networkthere that I can help them with.
They're doing an event thatI should be speaking at.
They need a bit of coaching.
They need help.
(11:04):
I've got some solutions to them.
And I made notes.
And then with all of those notes,once I've finished my drink, I go
home the following day, I take thosenotes and now I turn them into action.
Okay, who did I meet last night?
Great to meet you, John.
All the best.
See you again at the next event.
Those are the associates.
Those are the little fluff.
But then there was me.
(11:24):
Hey, great to chat with you.
But I did notice you mentioned this.
If this bothers you enough, should wehave a call to see how I can help you?
And I will actually put those thingsin and there may be someone that you
feel as though you want to get intothat room, but you haven't displayed
(11:45):
the value that you bring yet.
So in that situation,maybe send them your book.
Maybe, and this is always a goodone, send them someone else's book.
You see, everyone thinks the author isgoing to send the author's book, but
the amount of times I turn around andI go, Hey, I see where you're going.
A friend of mine is Cameron helda friend of mine is Jim quick.
(12:07):
A friend of mine is Gary Vee.
I just want you to have that book.
Because this may help you like it helpedme and send them someone else's book
because they never expect an author if anauthor sends you that book they're like,
well, you know, hasn't cost you any moneybecause you're the author, you know, by
you sending someone else's book, it showsthat you paid attention to that problem.
(12:29):
And then you look for themost viable solution to it.
And you send them a gift.
Minimum, they are they are justthat that they're guaranteed.
to go.
Thanks for the book.
You know, we only met that.
Well, look, you said you had a problem.
I've coached people beforethat have had that problem.
(12:50):
And I found that this book actuallyhelped a lot of my clients.
So if that does it, great.
Next time we meet the drinks on you.
But if it just validates and opensyou up to what the bigger problem is
that you need some deeper movementon, maybe we should schedule a call.
Maybe we should get in touch a bit more.
(13:11):
Maybe we should have a one on one andyou can go into whatever the other
reasons are, but you're paying attention.
There's the old classic line, theywon't care till you show you care.
Michael Whitehouse (13:22):
Pay attention.
Yeah, that's a really interesting concept.
I, I, I love how you put that becausea lot of the, the follow up concepts
I hear are more like followingup for the sake of following up
and sending a card to everyone.
And, but this is more a matterof deepening the relationship
with the specific people.
Not just everyone you meet and everyoneyou connect with, but the specific people
(13:45):
that, that you want to, and, and, andclearly, you know, it sounds like the
end result of that is hopefully some ofthese relationships turned into business
relationships, but you're focused onhow you can serve them first and then
how that may turn into a business and.
Remuneration back.
Steve Simms (14:05):
Well, hope is a really shitty marketing strategy
as far as I'm concerned.
So I believe that we, we surfthe waves that we generate.
If you go out and you meet 10 people,you need to categorize those 10 people.
There may be the first four thatjust get a little text going,
Hey, great to meet you last night.
(14:26):
Good to know you.
Then you may have another threepeople there that you go, well,
I can't really help them, but Ido know someone else that can.
Hey, I heard what you were saying.
I can't help you, but I'd loveto introduce you to someone.
Would that be acceptable?
And then the last ones are theones that you bring in to you and
you know you've got to work on.
You see, whenever I, I speakon stages all over the planet.
(14:48):
And one of the things that I've donein the past is I've gone in and I've
done the Sequoia tree conversation.
Now you go in there andyou go, Hey, what's this?
And you show a picture of Sequoia tree.
Largest tree in the planet.
So massive, so strong that they cut ahole in it just so a bus can go through.
And so they're all looking at theseamazing pictures up on stage of
(15:08):
these bloody great sequoia trees.
And then you go, what's this?
And there's a seed on there.
And I will often go out and I willgive people packs of sequoia seeds.
Okay, I'd be like, there yougo, there's a sequoia seed.
The largest tree in the planetcomes from what's in your hand.
(15:28):
In fact, in your hand, you've gota hundreds of those seeds, and you
can still hold a hundred of thosepotential trees with your fist tight.
But what's the difference betweenwhat you've got in your hand,
And this and it's attention.
See, when you get in the Sequoiaseed, you have to make sure that
(15:49):
it's planted in the right soil.
You need to make, make attention,pay attention to its location, and
you need to make sure the locationis the best one to allow that seed.
It's full ability to grow.
Okay.
It's no good having a businessconversation with a new, new recruit.
You've just met.
(16:09):
in a strip joint, youknow, it's just location.
So you make sure that sequoia seedis planted in a location that's
going to be fertile and goingto pay attention to its needs.
And then you nurture it and youprotect it and you pay attention to
it and you revisit it and then itbreaks soil as a tiny little leaf.
(16:31):
Now you gotta make sure your dogdoesn't crap on it or dig it up.
So again, you protect it, you focuson it, you pay attention to it,
you nurture it, you weed it, youfeed it with all the right vitamins
it needs, you pay attention.
When it becomes solid, yourdog can't do anything to it.
And it is indestructible, but all ofthe effort goes into the beginning.
(16:55):
And the trouble is with relationships,people go, well, I met you six months ago.
Have you still remember me?
Of course, they don'tfricking remember you.
You've done no pain of attention.
You haven't seeded, you haven't paidattention, you haven't nurtured.
So if you want sequoia treesof relationships to be in your
Rolodex or iPhone, you've got topay attention to the beginning.
(17:19):
Not the latter part of the year,or just thinking that by shoving
up a hand and going, Hey, Steve,that they're going to remember you.
You've got to be the one thatputs all the attention in.
Hmm.
Michael Whitehouse (17:30):
Yeah, that's, that's certainly crucial.
You can't just meet someoneand be like, I've been thinking
about what I want from you.
So clearly you've been thinking about me.
Steve Simms (17:39):
Yeah, that's the eye game.
Yeah.
Michael Whitehouse (17:42):
And so, so I guess my question, so one thing I focus on being
a, ADHD extrovert is knowing that I'mnot good at the process of remembering,
you know, a month later, did I send themsomething or did I send them a book,
that I always try to provide value early.
So when I meet someone, I'm, I'mlistening for who can I introduce them
to, who's a good connection I can makefor them, what's something I can do.
(18:05):
up front and then where possibleproviding value because I often
don't know what I want from someone.
So, and frankly, it's easier to thinkabout what you need than what I need
because I need clarity in my business andfocus and all that stuff to know what I
want, but I can listen for what you need.
And so, so I try to do that upfront, but I'm, I'm less good at the
remembering someone three months laterwhen I'm on a plane to, to send them
(18:29):
a, you know, to send them something.
So do you have like a processfor keeping track of that?
Because I imagine yourRolodex is substantial.
Steve Simms (18:38):
It is.
And once the one, let's goback to the Sequoia tree.
Once the tree is fullygrown, it needs no watering.
It needs no weed.
And it's looking after itself.
As long as you've got that strongrelationship, as long as you revisit it
every two to three years, it's still good.
You know but you've got to payattention and move with purpose.
(18:59):
So I will add, and my son's a youknow, like a very nerdy CRM guy and
he does all of these kind of things.
But me, I'll open up an Excelspreadsheet and I will put the
people in there that I've met.
And then I will put in there oneweek, three weeks, five weeks.
And then I will actually gointo my calendar and I will
(19:22):
just put a time in there.
And when I've spoken to you, I'll thenget into my calendar and I will fast
forward six months, put another calendarreminder in there to catch up with you.
And I'll go, Oh, don't forget toask about the dog called Judy.
You know, so in six months time,I'll phone you up and I'll be like,
Hey, just one, Michael, how was Judy?
(19:45):
And people are like, Whoa, you, youremember the dog, you know, and you
do those kinds of things another way.
And I've got a couple of little cheatshere and I give you one, one good cheat.
There's a lot of times that we forgetto stay in contact with people and
we let it, we let it kind of cut off.
One of the things I like to do.
(20:05):
And again, These are not for associates.
These are not for buddy buddies.
These are for people that you reallywant to show care to keep in your circle.
Okay.
I subscribe them to magazinesor subscription services.
Okay.
Now subscription services and magazines,especially magazines, magazines are
(20:29):
going bankrupt on a daily basis.
Okay.
You can buy a year'spublication for like 18 now.
You know, you can't buy a couple ofdecent cocktails for 18 bucks, but I
can actually meet you we can talk about.
Oh, you're you're impending.
Restoring of your house.
And then I go, Well, once you'vedone the household, Oh, then
(20:51):
I've got to work on the garden.
Yeah, great.
You know, Oh, yeah, but then I'mplanning a trip in Italy, but I
don't know what I'm going to do.
You've got a house, you've gotgardening, you've got Italy.
So you look up magazines for, like, gardenrestoration, or garden design, or first
time in Italy, or, you know beautiful,you know, travel spots of Italy, and
(21:12):
you go on and you subscribe them tothat magazine, and then you send them
a little note, and you go, Hey, thanksfor last night, I really enjoyed it.
You mentioned about the restorationof your house, and then you
had to focus on the garden.
By the way, I've just setyou up for a subscription for
a year with this magazine.
I hope it helps.
Now, magazines go out quarterly, okay?
(21:34):
Sometimes they go out biannually, okay?
The amount of emails and texts I getthat come to me, like, a few days after
the end of first quarter, and I canliterally look at the people contacting
me and go, Well, you've got your magazine,you've got your magazine, you've got
your magazine, you've got your...
(21:55):
And it reminds them because nothing'sgoing on and then all of a sudden
they get that garden and they'relike, Oh, Steve, how is Steve?
Hey, Steve, how you doing?
I'm like, I'm great, thank you.
How's that garden getting on for you?
Hmm.
And it doesn't cost you anything, but noweven better, they're contacting you and
all you've done is invested 18 onto it.
(22:17):
I've had bigger tabs than thatin Starbucks, so it doesn't,
that doesn't cost a lot.
Michael Whitehouse (22:21):
That's great.
I see that when you talk aboutsending someone else's book too,
that you're sort of, in theirmind, co branding yourself to them.
So if I send you, you know,Gary Vee's book, then every time
you see Gary Vee, you remember,Oh, Michael sent me his book.
And you probably see GaryVee more than you see Michael
Whitehouse on the internet.
Steve Simms (22:41):
There you go.
And you're also, you're alsotriggering because you're now
putting yourself in alignment thatyou and Gary have the same standard.
You see, if I send you my book, and yes,it's an absolutely fantastic book, but
if I send you my book, it's my book.
But if I send you Gary, Jim's, Tony's,any, any of those kinds of books,
(23:01):
you go, wow, he sent me that book.
He knows these people because sometimes,you know, I will know and I'll, I'll
give you a little, a little trick here.
When you go to an event and yousee someone speaking, okay, that
has a book, go up to him andyou go, Hey, great conversation.
(23:23):
How can I order 20, 30, 10 signed books?
Now, here's a little thingthat you probably already know.
I've got, I think, four boxes ofsigned books, because as soon as
they turn up, I sign them all,and they just sit there, and then
someone goes, can I get your book?
And they get a signed copy, okay?
(23:43):
But when I'm buying them off of anauthor at a show, I'm not paying the
main rate, I'm paying the author rate.
So I'm getting them cheaper,and I'm getting them signed.
So now you're getting a book signedby Gary V, Cameron Harrell, Jim Quick,
Steve Sims, whatever, and you're like,whoa, he even got it signed for me.
(24:04):
He must be really, reallygood buddies with him.
Now, people I've mentioned to you, I am,but I've also sent out a bunch of books
from people that I'm not that tight with,but also sent me a bunch of signed books.
Michael Whitehouse (24:17):
Ah, that is a great concept.
I love that.
And yeah, and so itassociates you with them.
It puts you near them in your mindand also shows, you know, well, and
it doesn't necessarily put you abovewhere you are, but you, where you are,
cause you touch, if you do know themor, you know, people like them, but
I guess we're thinking that way andnetworking connections breed networking
(24:40):
connections, which is especially powerful.
Now it sounds like some of.
Some of what has helped you toois just the head bash through
the brick wall sort of attitude.
I mean, your book's called Go ForStupid, which sort of seems to
be a, like, I'm gonna do it andscrew you if you don't think I can.
So talk a little about the, the,the mindset it takes, the energy.
(25:02):
For people who don't naturallyhave that approach what, what is,
what does that take to be able tojust say, Oh, I'm just gonna do it.
Steve Simms (25:09):
Buckets.
Let's talk about buckets for a second.
You stick a sponge in a bucket ofwater inherently and automatically it's
just gonna soak up all of that water.
Okay?
You stick that exact same sponge ina bucket of, of used old carb oil.
And he's going to attempt to suckup all of that car oil, okay?
(25:32):
As we are people, if we stick our head ina bucket full of negativity, depression,
oppression, recession, distraction,distortion, we're soaking all of that up,
then there'd be no room for anything else.
Yeah, if we stick our head ina bucket full of positivity,
what are we going to soak up?
So, you saying that thesepeople can't do that?
(25:57):
I'm saying that you're stickingyour head in the wrong bucket.
You've got to change your environment.
Do you remember I said about the tree?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You've got to change your location.
You've got to change what you listen to.
A friend of mine, Peter Diamandis,who launched the X prize.
He said to me, never watchesthe news in the morning.
Some of the times they'll watchit at five o'clock at night.
(26:19):
But if it's of importance.
He'll get a text or something to popup on his phone, but he never watches
it because he wakes up in the morning.
He's all pumped.
It's a new day.
The sun's shining.
He lives well in Malibu.
Everything's great.
Turns the news on.
Two hours of doom and gloom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
All of his optimism andpositivity is now fighting against
(26:42):
this distortion negativity.
So why try to fight it?
Ignore it.
Don't listen to it.
So, it's not a case of,Oh, I can't do that.
It's a case of, well, maybeyou're in an environment that
doesn't allow you to do that.
Yeah.
You see, here's something for you,and I'll pick on you on this, Michael.
(27:04):
If I say to you, okay, you'vegot your podcast, you've got your
events, you've got your coaching.
What is your goal over thenext three, three years?
And you give me your goal.
And then I say, you're right,Michael, we're going to do this.
It sounds impossible.
We're going to make it possible.
We're going to make theimpossible possible.
Impossible stands for I'm possible.
(27:26):
Right?
That's all very gritty, isn't it?
It's like you're going intobloody war on a gladiator set.
And anything that rigid and fierce.
Cracks and breaks.
But one of the things I learnedwith all of the amazing people
that I've worked with all over theplanet, is that they have childish
(27:47):
curiosity, and they gamify everything.
So if I said to you, Michael, what'syour goal for the next three years,
and you give me your goal, and Iturn around and I go, Is that it?
Surely we should, like, havesome fun with this, Michael.
What's the stupid goal we can have?
You like a car next year?
(28:09):
Why don't we go for five?
Now, here's the thing.
And you're gonna have to re watch this.
I want you to look at yourface over those two examples.
One of them had you a little bit cringey.
The other one had youlaughing and chuckling.
When you laugh and chuckle, you becomea child, your nuance become creative,
(28:31):
you explode with gamification and it'snot impossible because now it's a game.
Now it's a challenge.
Now in my concierge days, I would havepeople going, Hey, I want, I want to
meet the rock band journey backstageand we'd be like, well, okay, I hear
you, but how can we make that request?
Stupid.
(28:52):
How can we be really daft with this?
How could we just make it laughable?
We ended up sticking that client onstage with the band and he's the shortest
term lead singer of Journey and he sangfour tunes live on stage in San Diego.
We had a client that wanted anamazing dining experience in Florence.
We shut down the Accademiade Galleria, set up a table
(29:15):
of six at the feet of David.
And then Michelangelo's David and thenbrought Andrea Bocelli in to serenade
him while he hits his main course.
We take what you've asked.
and make it stupid.
Now here's the thing, we're in asociety today where we are really
(29:36):
fast to judge and very slow to listen.
And people love laughing ateach other, not in a good way.
And they want you to fail because mostpeople in the planet have a poor mindset.
And again, it's that location.
If everyone around you isgoing, Oh, you can't do that.
You cry.
You're never going to be able to growup because change your location, get
(30:00):
into a room where people go, is that it?
You, you, you really goingto get the impact from that?
I just expected more out of you.
That's the room you need to be in.
So in today's world, weactually try to push people.
Now I released go for stupid.
Last year last October,it became a bestseller.
(30:20):
I think it's being tracked.
Bluefish got translated in nine languagesand is a bestseller in each go for stupid.
I think we're up to likefour or five languages.
We haven't completedall the languages yet.
And we've hit bestseller.
I think in like three of those, we'regiving it away for free at go for stupid.
com.
We don't get any hair productsor the t shirt sales out of it.
(30:43):
We're not trying to hit anyone up, butwe want people to go for ridiculous goals
because in today's world, we're actuallylaughing at people for the wrong reasons.
We should be supporting.
We should be challengingand nine times out of ten.
The downside of that is thatyou are the room you are in.
(31:03):
So is it your locationis holding you back?
Michael Whitehouse (31:06):
Yeah.
Yeah, I love that.
I was talking to someone recently aboutbeing afraid to get up and dance because
you don't want to, you know, look foolish.
And...
And, you know, the realization thatsome people slowly have is that no one's
watching you dancing because they'retoo busy worrying about themselves.
And then a lot of people, like me,and probably you, the ones we judge
(31:27):
aren't the people dancing on the dancefloor, it's the people sitting in
the chairs who are afraid to get up.
Steve Simms (31:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I'm the first one to dance.
When my wife starts kind of liketapping her toes, I'm like...
Let's get it up.
And you're right.
Everyone's kind of like, there'll be thoselittle murmurs, there'll be those little
giggles, and then there's the peoplethere going, I want to get up as well.
I really want to get up.
I'm not going to miss out.
My life is not being audited by you.
So I'm going to live it to my rules,my standards, and I'm going to
(31:55):
live it to the way that I want to.
And I think that's howyou should live your life.
Yeah.
Michael Whitehouse (32:00):
Yeah.
And I, I know I hang out in the rightrooms because when I dance like a.
You know, white guy, people are like,yeah, go Michael, because they see him.
I'm giving it a shot.
You know, people would rather watchsomeone dance with passion than
sit in the chair and, and say, youknow, wish I could wish I could.
So where can, you know, it's, it'seasy to say, find a better room.
(32:21):
Yeah, but.
And, but you know, if, if someone's ina place where maybe their spouse is not
supportive, but you know, they're not ina position, you know, they're, they're
married to them, they're not going toleave them and, you know, maybe their
family is not supportive or their, theircoworkers or, you know, people, it's,
it, it's not just go to a different room.
It's not like you go down the hallwayand there's, you know destructive
(32:42):
jerks and supportive, nice guys.
And you just like, Oh, the othersupportive, nice guys room.
So if, what would yousay to someone who's.
Who's it's more structural for them.
And it's not just find better friends.
How can they surround themselveswith better people when they
when it's built around them.
Steve Simms (33:01):
Well, they're doing it now.
They don't have to go down the corridor.
They can start listening to podcasts.
They can start reading books.
They can join Facebook groups.
I know for a lot of people, they arerunning, they are in toxic environments.
Well, look, be a certainway in that environment.
And then when you're out of thatenvironment, you're driving in the car.
(33:23):
Pick good podcasts, read goodbooks, surround yourself with
good positive information.
You will break free.
I had a friend of mine.
He was a, he's a client and wheneverhe would come to my events, I had
these events called speakeasiesand whenever he would come to the
event, he would always wear thecoolest sneakers that I've ever seen.
(33:44):
And I'm not a sneaker guy, butI'd be like, they are cool.
And he'd be like, oh yeah, theseare like this, this Japanese brand.
And they're like 1, 200and that, this and that.
Every day, and like over threedays, he'd wear like four
different pairs of sneakers.
Okay, and he collected them and then oneday I was having a stopover in his city
and I said, Hey, I've got a layover.
(34:06):
So, you know, should we go out for tea?
He's like, well, I'm down at thepub with my mates and I went,
Oh, I'll come down and join you.
And he had the shitty pair ofold scuffed up Nikes on the
literally had a hole on them.
And I was like, whatthe hell are you doing?
And I said, I never thoughtyou would have worn anything.
He's like, well, in thisenvironment, I'm actually scared
(34:26):
of wearing the good sneakers.
For fear of what my buddies will sayand I said, well, so you're telling me
you're living your standards to them.
And he was like, yeah, I was like, if youwant to do that as a slippery slope down.
So the following week he turns upat this, this bar with his buddies.
(34:47):
Where's one of his cool sneakers.
And of course, all of his buddies like,well, and they gave him a bit of a ribbon.
Following week, he wears adifferent pair of sneakers.
And one of the guys turns around andsays, Hey, you know, I hate my...
Where do you get your sneakers from?
And he starts telling them.
The third week, two of the guysare wearing decent sneakers.
(35:11):
You see, the point is people want goodstandards, but somebody's got to be the
first one to get on the dance floor.
You may have a bunch of negativityaround you, but they may actually
be looking for someone to raisethe standards of the room.
Be those standards.
Michael Whitehouse (35:28):
So it's not that people want the room to be negative.
It's just, that's how it is.
And maybe they're waiting for someone.
It's always easy.
Steve Simms (35:35):
It's always easy to be negative, isn't it?
It's the easiest thing in theworld to rip people apart.
It's the easiest thing inthe world to be the naysayer.
But when someone breaks out andhas the strength to stand up, you'd
be surprised at how many peoplego, Oh, I want to stand with you.
Michael Whitehouse (35:56):
That is, that's a very powerful point.
So you also need to leave your group offriends, you don't have to leave your
family, maybe you just need to be the,the example for them and they'll follow.
Bingo.
That's extremely powerful.
And that I, I can imagine that somepositive effects will knock on from that.
Steve Simms (36:16):
Every time, every time.
Worst case scenario, you'll realize thatyou've outgrown the room and you will
naturally just move into a different room.
Michael Whitehouse (36:25):
That is, that is really good.
Yeah.
And I love that, thatgopher stupid concept.
Because I think it's, I think for alot of people, if they think about,
you know, I want to, you know, makeanother 20, 000, that feels hard.
Yeah.
But if it's, I want to makeanother 200, 000, that feels crazy.
It's like, I just listenedto Dan Sullivan's new book,
(36:46):
10X Better Is Easier Than 2X.
Yeah.
That, that it's like, you know, Iwant to make 10 percent more money.
Well, maybe we'll do a differentFacebook ad or whatever.
Well, how are we going to make, how arewe going to make 100 percent more money?
Oh oof.
Well, that's right.
Only one way we can do that, andthat is pretty clear what to do.
Steve Simms (37:05):
And also you gotta realize that if you try to make
20 grand extra next year, by goingfor 100 grand and failing and
making 50, you know, you failed up.
Yeah.
And that's a big thing youwant to be focusing on.
Michael Whitehouse (37:19):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's that is really powerful.
So this has been a fantastic conversation.
I will definitely be be listeningback to it because all kinds of good.
I mean, I expected to bea fantastic conversation.
It's Steve Sims, but it's beeneverything I expected more.
Is there anything that you wish I hadasked you that I did not ask you yet?
Steve Simms (37:43):
No, I think I think we're good.
I think you know, you knowhow could people follow me?
Maybe?
I don't know.
Well, I'm going to ask that one.
I'm sure you would, you know,it's not your first rodeo.
No, I think we had some good questions.
I don't want to overload people,but they've just got to start off
by, you know, changing the room,Naveen, and they can do that by
listening to the podcast and books.
Michael Whitehouse (38:02):
Fantastic.
So you did mention the, the go for stupid.
com website where they can get your book.
Are there other waysthat they can follow you?
Steve Simms (38:10):
Steve D Sims.
Don't forget the D in there fordashing and it's only one M in Sims.
So stevedsims.
com.
They can find out about the book and Simsto still be my community, or they can go
onto Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, justtype in Steve D Sims and you'll find me.
I suppose I'm most I suppose I domost of the work on Instagram but
(38:31):
if you want to jump on Instagram,follow me and then send me a message.
Just let me know that you'llheard me on this podcast.
Michael Whitehouse (38:37):
Awesome.
And actually tell me a little bitabout the the Sims Distillery.
Steve Simms (38:41):
We, I like going into masterminds and I've spent
a lot of money in masterminds.
Some of them have beenabsolutely brilliant.
Some of them have been great upsellopportunities for people to try and
get me to buy the next level of it.
And it's been very annoying andvery irritating, but I wanted
to create the room that I wishI had found when I was younger.
(39:03):
So I went around to a bunch ofmy friends and we said, I said,
I want to set up that room.
I want to set up that mastermind.
So we get together.
Three times a year at a live event.
And we get together every Tuesdaymorning, nine till 10, where we have
tech, we go through authors, we go throughexpert hours, we go through hot seats.
So I wanted to build a communitythat supported where, you know, your
(39:27):
credit card running through wasn'tthe sole way that we would pick you
and allow you to come into the group.
So we have people apply.
We vet them, we stalk them, andthen we accept them or decline them.
But Sims Distillery is, is the, theroom that I created for my aggravation.
Michael Whitehouse (39:46):
Hmm.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah.
That's kinda how it ended up making my,my JV connect networking event that I
finally got fed up and I'm like, why isn'tanyone doing it the way it should be done?
Steve Simms (39:55):
There you go again, why don't I do that?
Is that aggravation again?
Michael Whitehouse (39:59):
Yeah, someone should do that.
Oh yeah.
It's that guy.
The guy with a gray beard.
He should.
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much.
It's been such an honor andpleasure to, to interview you.
And I thank you for sharing everythingyou have and not overwhelming,
but well educating our audience.
Steve Simms (40:18):
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Michael Whitehouse (40:22):
Thank you for joining us for the guy who knows the guy podcast.
I'm Michael Whitehouse,the guy who knows the guy.
And I hope you'll join us in Decemberfrom the 12th to the 14th for JV
connect, go to guy who knows a guy.
com for more details.
Now, if it's after December, 2023, andyou're listening to this, it's okay,
because we're going to be doing this eventevery quarter to go to guy knows a guy.
(40:42):
com.
See what's new, see what's happening,and of course check the show notes
to learn about our guests and howyou can get in touch with them.
Check out our next episode formore great training, information,
and networking tips from MichaelWhitehouse, the guy who knows a guy.
Welcome back to the guy who knows a guy podcast.
We're so excited to be back with you.
And this season we are countingdown to J V connect the first of its
kind, December 12th to 14th, 2023.
This is going to be an incrediblededicated networking event, and you
are going to want to be part of it.
And this podcast here to helpprepare you to get the most
out of this incredible event.
(00:21):
I'm Michael Whitehouse,the guy who knows a guy.
And over the next few weeks, you're goingto get to hear from some of the best
people in the industry about networking.
As well as some solo training from me.
So be sure to join us on December12th to 14th for JB Connect.
And now, let's get to the interview.
Welcome once again to the guywho knows the guy podcast.
I'm Michael Whitehouse, the guy whoknows the guy and our guest today.
(00:42):
I'm very excited to have on.
It is Steve Sims, and I am super excitedbecause a few, a couple months ago, I was
sitting down thinking, so who are someof the networking influencers out there?
And one name that came to mind wasBob Berg, who you heard on the show
a few weeks ago, and the other namethat came to mind was Steve Sims and.
(01:03):
Now I've got the second one of those twopeople, the two biggest networking things
I can think of right in front of me.
So let me tell you about him iffor some reason you don't know him.
Do you know anyone that's worked withSir Elton John or Elon Musk, sent people
down to see the wreck of the Titanicon the seabed, or closed museums in
Florence for a private dinner party,and then had Andrea Bocelli serenade
(01:25):
them while they ate their pasta?
You do now!
Quoted as the real life Wizard of Ozby Forbes Entrepreneur Magazine, Steve
Sims is the best selling author of...
blue fishing, the art of makingthings happen and go for stupid, the
art of achieving ridiculous goals.
Sought after coach, top rated speakerafter keynoting in a variety of
networks, groups, associations, aswell as the Pentagon and Harvard twice.
(01:49):
That's pretty impressive.
Co founder with his son, Henry ofthe leading community for creative
disruptors, simsdistillery.
com.
Welcome to the guy who knowsa guy podcast, Steve Sims.
That's a hell of a lead up.
Steve Simms (02:03):
Thank you very much.
I don't know how I'm going tokeep that up, but I'll try.
Michael Whitehouse (02:07):
I have faith that you will be able to keep that up.
I have, have no doubt.
So for those who do not know your storyabout how you got started making these
amazing connections, share just a littlebit about how you got started doing that.
Steve Simms (02:20):
No different to everyone else.
I literally just grew up in EastLondon son of a construction firm.
So ended up working in the, inthe building trade very early on.
But us entrepreneurs, we'rekind of built different.
So something was in methat was going, is this it?
And I've always been a great believer.
You need two things in life.
(02:41):
You need curiosity andyou need aggravation.
Aggravation will cause youto actually do something.
Curiosity will send youdown a path to find it.
But if you're just curiousor just aggravated.
It doesn't work.
So get those two things married together.
I had it by the bucket loads when Iwas young and I just thought to myself.
(03:03):
We are the combinationof the room we're in.
We all know that now.
I didn't know it so poetically back then,but I just looked around at my bar and
it was full of a bunch of broke bikers.
And I'm like, well, hang on a minute.
No one here is going anywhere.
I'm one of them.
I need to change my room.
So I went out to try andhave those conversations.
(03:23):
And a lot of people callthat networking now.
And they call that, you know, kindof like getting to know people
and, you know, the influence.
But I wanted to speak to peoplethat were very successful and ask.
Why are you successful?
How do you view relationships?
How do you view time management?
How do you view culture?
And I wanted to have those conversations.
(03:44):
Quite simply, I wanted to podcastbefore podcasting existed.
And so I went out to try and find a way.
I left my construction firm and Ithen got involved in a ton of jobs.
That I was ill qualified for that mademe realize I should have been there.
So I get this education from trying tobe in places that didn't work till in
(04:08):
the end becoming what God built me for.
I became the doorman ofa nightclub in Hong Kong.
And while many people would havegone, well, you've gone down.
Yes, I had I now had a Harvard degree inhuman psychology right in front of me.
I was able to see how people with moneyinteracted with each other, but more
(04:32):
importantly, how people pretended theyhad money interacted with each other.
How people celebrate andhow people commiserate.
I got to see it all.
So I got a great degree in learninghow people interacted with each other
and then realized the key Of allnetworking that allowed me to go from
(04:52):
just being on the peripheral, being onthe outside, to actually being someone
of desire, being someone in the circlethat someone didn't want to let go.
And I became that person launched me intoa business where I basically launched the
world's leading experiential conciergefirm, and then obviously writing the
(05:13):
two books, blue fishing and go forstupid to teach others how to do it.
Michael Whitehouse (05:18):
I love so much about that story.
And I think so much is just, well,the first thing is that One of the
pushbacks I get when I share with peoplethat, you know, anyone can network and
there's opportunity out there and allthose principles is, well, that's easy
for you to say because, you know, yougot lucky and you went to the right
(05:38):
schools, you know, the right people.
And, and, you know, it soundslike you didn't go to the right
schools to build your network.
I mean, you did kind of the school of hardknocks, but it's not like you didn't go to
Harvard as a student and, and, you know,meet all the right people who hooked you
up with all the right jobs and get lucky.
You.
Went out there as the, the son of aconstruction worker and said, Nah,
(06:00):
I'm going to do something better.
Which sounds like something prettymuch anyone could have done.
Steve Simms (06:05):
Yeah, again, it was that aggravation.
It all comes down to whatyou're willing to settle for.
You know, are you willing to settlefor your excuses or are you willing
to settle for that education?
Both of them are gonna send you down thesame path, but one will stop you short.
There's a lot of people that go,as you said, oh, it's easy for you.
Oh, you are an extrovert.
(06:25):
Oh, you can do it.
That's bullshit.
You know, I'm big, I'm ugly,I'm crass, I'm inappropriate.
But I had a need and that needwas I need to know how come
you're successful and I'm not.
Yep.
And that was the early stage andintrovert, extrovert, those are badges.
(06:46):
I had a need.
I wasn't willing to settle for my income.
I wasn't willing to settlefor shitty motorbikes.
I wasn't willing to livein a rough neighborhood.
I wanted more of my life.
I had a demand.
Hey, if you're an introvert and you'rethinking, Oh, I can't do those things.
Trust me, fella.
I'm the, I'm one of thebiggest introverts out there.
(07:08):
But I had a need that said,right, if I'm going to do this,
there's got to be a purpose.
And that's all introverts need.
Introverts need a reason.
Why am I doing this?
I feel nervous about it.
Sure you do, Sonny.
But you need to know what the reason is.
If I can get in there and I can do that,and I can come out with it with this, my
house is better, my home is better, mywife's better, my kids are better, Ah!
(07:29):
Now I've got a reason.
I just need to do.
So, introverts, I personally think,make the best networkers in the planet.
But it's the need.
You've got to have that aggravation.
And if you want to kind of likego, well, it's easy for you.
Then why are youlistening to this podcast?
You know, your, your excuses, you're,you're just prying to one day.
(07:51):
Your excuses are play pay your bar tab.
They won't.
So, you know, get out of yourexcuses and start getting on.
Michael Whitehouse (07:57):
Yeah.
And I, I totally agree with that ideathat introverts are better networkers, and
I say this as an extrovert, because in.
With extroverts, it's, it's lower costfor me to just go meet more people.
So I'm, I'll go to anevent and talk to everyone.
Or as an introvert tends to be betterat follow up because you're like,
I don't want it to be 10 people.
Can I meet one person?
Just have a really goodrelationship with them.
(08:18):
And actually, I'd love you to talk a bitmore about that because I was watching
your, your talk this morning where,where you're talking about the power of.
Of that, that follow up ofsending a nice note or gift or
whatnot and the leverage of that.
So I'd like to talk about that, andthen the other thing I'd like to
talk about is, is I often say thatI'm better at making connections and
(08:40):
providing value early and not so goodat keeping track of the details and
remembering to send people things.
And I have the feeling that you'llprobably tell me something about, well,
that's, that's a bullshit excuse and...
You should get over it and do better.
So I wanted to have you chime in on that.
Steve Simms (08:57):
Again, it's that introvert thing.
The introvert will look for the purpose.
You know, you mentioned an extrovertwill go along to a networking event,
and as long as he's got the eyeballsand he's the center of attention and
he's getting loads of focus and chitchats and business cards, he's fine.
But an introvert will goalong for two conversations.
(09:17):
And when they have those conversations,They don't want to have another two
conversations the following week.
So they will make sure that thoseconversations turn into something.
Again, we work with hopefullyminimum output, maximum impact.
So make sure that everythingyou do is to the best possible.
(09:38):
We don't want to do a turkey shoot.
It literally will wear me out.
In fact, true story, I had an event, andI've been doing this for years, and I've
worked with everyone from Elton John,the Vatican, Elon Musk, you know, I'm
pretty successful, pretty well connected.
But I went out to an event inBeverly Hills the other day,
and this was two weeks ago.
And I went to a dinner at the Palms,and we had this meeting, and there was a
(10:02):
whole group of people there, and I knewmost of them, most of them knew me and
my credentials, so I had the credibility,there was no imposter syndrome, and I
chatted with them, and I spoke with them,and we conversed, and then I left the
event, walked around the corner to anotherrestaurant, went up at the bar, sat at the
(10:23):
bar, and had a drink on my own, just wayaway from people, Okay, and of course, I
could do a really good job of you know,scaring people away from me, you know, I
look like this, so I'm sitting there withme old fashioned, no one ever sits near
me, and I can make little notes of whoI met that night, that was, ah, this was
(10:44):
a good chat, that's a great, Associate,someone that you will bump into and go,
Hey, Johnny, Hey, Bob, one of those.
But then there were a few otherpeople that went, hang on a minute.
I can take this deeper.
You know, there's a networkthere that I can help them with.
They're doing an event thatI should be speaking at.
They need a bit of coaching.
They need help.
(11:04):
I've got some solutions to them.
And I made notes.
And then with all of those notes,once I've finished my drink, I go
home the following day, I take thosenotes and now I turn them into action.
Okay, who did I meet last night?
Great to meet you, John.
All the best.
See you again at the next event.
Those are the associates.
Those are the little fluff.
But then there was me.
(11:24):
Hey, great to chat with you.
But I did notice you mentioned this.
If this bothers you enough, should wehave a call to see how I can help you?
And I will actually put those thingsin and there may be someone that you
feel as though you want to get intothat room, but you haven't displayed
(11:45):
the value that you bring yet.
So in that situation,maybe send them your book.
Maybe, and this is always a goodone, send them someone else's book.
You see, everyone thinks the author isgoing to send the author's book, but
the amount of times I turn around andI go, Hey, I see where you're going.
A friend of mine is Cameron helda friend of mine is Jim quick.
(12:07):
A friend of mine is Gary Vee.
I just want you to have that book.
Because this may help you like it helpedme and send them someone else's book
because they never expect an author if anauthor sends you that book they're like,
well, you know, hasn't cost you any moneybecause you're the author, you know, by
you sending someone else's book, it showsthat you paid attention to that problem.
(12:29):
And then you look for themost viable solution to it.
And you send them a gift.
Minimum, they are they are justthat that they're guaranteed.
to go.
Thanks for the book.
You know, we only met that.
Well, look, you said you had a problem.
I've coached people beforethat have had that problem.
(12:50):
And I found that this book actuallyhelped a lot of my clients.
So if that does it, great.
Next time we meet the drinks on you.
But if it just validates and opensyou up to what the bigger problem is
that you need some deeper movementon, maybe we should schedule a call.
Maybe we should get in touch a bit more.
(13:11):
Maybe we should have a one on one andyou can go into whatever the other
reasons are, but you're paying attention.
There's the old classic line, theywon't care till you show you care.
Michael Whitehouse (13:22):
Pay attention.
Yeah, that's a really interesting concept.
I, I, I love how you put that becausea lot of the, the follow up concepts
I hear are more like followingup for the sake of following up
and sending a card to everyone.
And, but this is more a matterof deepening the relationship
with the specific people.
Not just everyone you meet and everyoneyou connect with, but the specific people
(13:45):
that, that you want to, and, and, andclearly, you know, it sounds like the
end result of that is hopefully some ofthese relationships turned into business
relationships, but you're focused onhow you can serve them first and then
how that may turn into a business and.
Remuneration back.
Steve Simms (14:05):
Well, hope is a really shitty marketing strategy
as far as I'm concerned.
So I believe that we, we surfthe waves that we generate.
If you go out and you meet 10 people,you need to categorize those 10 people.
There may be the first four thatjust get a little text going,
Hey, great to meet you last night.
(14:26):
Good to know you.
Then you may have another threepeople there that you go, well,
I can't really help them, but Ido know someone else that can.
Hey, I heard what you were saying.
I can't help you, but I'd loveto introduce you to someone.
Would that be acceptable?
And then the last ones are theones that you bring in to you and
you know you've got to work on.
You see, whenever I, I speakon stages all over the planet.
(14:48):
And one of the things that I've donein the past is I've gone in and I've
done the Sequoia tree conversation.
Now you go in there andyou go, Hey, what's this?
And you show a picture of Sequoia tree.
Largest tree in the planet.
So massive, so strong that they cut ahole in it just so a bus can go through.
And so they're all looking at theseamazing pictures up on stage of
(15:08):
these bloody great sequoia trees.
And then you go, what's this?
And there's a seed on there.
And I will often go out and I willgive people packs of sequoia seeds.
Okay, I'd be like, there yougo, there's a sequoia seed.
The largest tree in the planetcomes from what's in your hand.
(15:28):
In fact, in your hand, you've gota hundreds of those seeds, and you
can still hold a hundred of thosepotential trees with your fist tight.
But what's the difference betweenwhat you've got in your hand,
And this and it's attention.
See, when you get in the Sequoiaseed, you have to make sure that
(15:49):
it's planted in the right soil.
You need to make, make attention,pay attention to its location, and
you need to make sure the locationis the best one to allow that seed.
It's full ability to grow.
Okay.
It's no good having a businessconversation with a new, new recruit.
You've just met.
(16:09):
in a strip joint, youknow, it's just location.
So you make sure that sequoia seedis planted in a location that's
going to be fertile and goingto pay attention to its needs.
And then you nurture it and youprotect it and you pay attention to
it and you revisit it and then itbreaks soil as a tiny little leaf.
(16:31):
Now you gotta make sure your dogdoesn't crap on it or dig it up.
So again, you protect it, you focuson it, you pay attention to it,
you nurture it, you weed it, youfeed it with all the right vitamins
it needs, you pay attention.
When it becomes solid, yourdog can't do anything to it.
And it is indestructible, but all ofthe effort goes into the beginning.
(16:55):
And the trouble is with relationships,people go, well, I met you six months ago.
Have you still remember me?
Of course, they don'tfricking remember you.
You've done no pain of attention.
You haven't seeded, you haven't paidattention, you haven't nurtured.
So if you want sequoia treesof relationships to be in your
Rolodex or iPhone, you've got topay attention to the beginning.
(17:19):
Not the latter part of the year,or just thinking that by shoving
up a hand and going, Hey, Steve,that they're going to remember you.
You've got to be the one thatputs all the attention in.
Hmm.
Michael Whitehouse (17:30):
Yeah, that's, that's certainly crucial.
You can't just meet someoneand be like, I've been thinking
about what I want from you.
So clearly you've been thinking about me.
Steve Simms (17:39):
Yeah, that's the eye game.
Yeah.
Michael Whitehouse (17:42):
And so, so I guess my question, so one thing I focus on being
a, ADHD extrovert is knowing that I'mnot good at the process of remembering,
you know, a month later, did I send themsomething or did I send them a book,
that I always try to provide value early.
So when I meet someone, I'm, I'mlistening for who can I introduce them
to, who's a good connection I can makefor them, what's something I can do.
(18:05):
up front and then where possibleproviding value because I often
don't know what I want from someone.
So, and frankly, it's easier to thinkabout what you need than what I need
because I need clarity in my business andfocus and all that stuff to know what I
want, but I can listen for what you need.
And so, so I try to do that upfront, but I'm, I'm less good at the
remembering someone three months laterwhen I'm on a plane to, to send them
(18:29):
a, you know, to send them something.
So do you have like a processfor keeping track of that?
Because I imagine yourRolodex is substantial.
Steve Simms (18:38):
It is.
And once the one, let's goback to the Sequoia tree.
Once the tree is fullygrown, it needs no watering.
It needs no weed.
And it's looking after itself.
As long as you've got that strongrelationship, as long as you revisit it
every two to three years, it's still good.
You know but you've got to payattention and move with purpose.
(18:59):
So I will add, and my son's a youknow, like a very nerdy CRM guy and
he does all of these kind of things.
But me, I'll open up an Excelspreadsheet and I will put the
people in there that I've met.
And then I will put in there oneweek, three weeks, five weeks.
And then I will actually gointo my calendar and I will
(19:22):
just put a time in there.
And when I've spoken to you, I'll thenget into my calendar and I will fast
forward six months, put another calendarreminder in there to catch up with you.
And I'll go, Oh, don't forget toask about the dog called Judy.
You know, so in six months time,I'll phone you up and I'll be like,
Hey, just one, Michael, how was Judy?
(19:45):
And people are like, Whoa, you, youremember the dog, you know, and you
do those kinds of things another way.
And I've got a couple of little cheatshere and I give you one, one good cheat.
There's a lot of times that we forgetto stay in contact with people and
we let it, we let it kind of cut off.
One of the things I like to do.
(20:05):
And again, These are not for associates.
These are not for buddy buddies.
These are for people that you reallywant to show care to keep in your circle.
Okay.
I subscribe them to magazinesor subscription services.
Okay.
Now subscription services and magazines,especially magazines, magazines are
(20:29):
going bankrupt on a daily basis.
Okay.
You can buy a year'spublication for like 18 now.
You know, you can't buy a couple ofdecent cocktails for 18 bucks, but I
can actually meet you we can talk about.
Oh, you're you're impending.
Restoring of your house.
And then I go, Well, once you'vedone the household, Oh, then
(20:51):
I've got to work on the garden.
Yeah, great.
You know, Oh, yeah, but then I'mplanning a trip in Italy, but I
don't know what I'm going to do.
You've got a house, you've gotgardening, you've got Italy.
So you look up magazines for, like, gardenrestoration, or garden design, or first
time in Italy, or, you know beautiful,you know, travel spots of Italy, and
(21:12):
you go on and you subscribe them tothat magazine, and then you send them
a little note, and you go, Hey, thanksfor last night, I really enjoyed it.
You mentioned about the restorationof your house, and then you
had to focus on the garden.
By the way, I've just setyou up for a subscription for
a year with this magazine.
I hope it helps.
Now, magazines go out quarterly, okay?
(21:34):
Sometimes they go out biannually, okay?
The amount of emails and texts I getthat come to me, like, a few days after
the end of first quarter, and I canliterally look at the people contacting
me and go, Well, you've got your magazine,you've got your magazine, you've got
your magazine, you've got your...
(21:55):
And it reminds them because nothing'sgoing on and then all of a sudden
they get that garden and they'relike, Oh, Steve, how is Steve?
Hey, Steve, how you doing?
I'm like, I'm great, thank you.
How's that garden getting on for you?
Hmm.
And it doesn't cost you anything, but noweven better, they're contacting you and
all you've done is invested 18 onto it.
(22:17):
I've had bigger tabs than thatin Starbucks, so it doesn't,
that doesn't cost a lot.
Michael Whitehouse (22:21):
That's great.
I see that when you talk aboutsending someone else's book too,
that you're sort of, in theirmind, co branding yourself to them.
So if I send you, you know,Gary Vee's book, then every time
you see Gary Vee, you remember,Oh, Michael sent me his book.
And you probably see GaryVee more than you see Michael
Whitehouse on the internet.
Steve Simms (22:41):
There you go.
And you're also, you're alsotriggering because you're now
putting yourself in alignment thatyou and Gary have the same standard.
You see, if I send you my book, and yes,it's an absolutely fantastic book, but
if I send you my book, it's my book.
But if I send you Gary, Jim's, Tony's,any, any of those kinds of books,
(23:01):
you go, wow, he sent me that book.
He knows these people because sometimes,you know, I will know and I'll, I'll
give you a little, a little trick here.
When you go to an event and yousee someone speaking, okay, that
has a book, go up to him andyou go, Hey, great conversation.
(23:23):
How can I order 20, 30, 10 signed books?
Now, here's a little thingthat you probably already know.
I've got, I think, four boxes ofsigned books, because as soon as
they turn up, I sign them all,and they just sit there, and then
someone goes, can I get your book?
And they get a signed copy, okay?
(23:43):
But when I'm buying them off of anauthor at a show, I'm not paying the
main rate, I'm paying the author rate.
So I'm getting them cheaper,and I'm getting them signed.
So now you're getting a book signedby Gary V, Cameron Harrell, Jim Quick,
Steve Sims, whatever, and you're like,whoa, he even got it signed for me.
(24:04):
He must be really, reallygood buddies with him.
Now, people I've mentioned to you, I am,but I've also sent out a bunch of books
from people that I'm not that tight with,but also sent me a bunch of signed books.
Michael Whitehouse (24:17):
Ah, that is a great concept.
I love that.
And yeah, and so itassociates you with them.
It puts you near them in your mindand also shows, you know, well, and
it doesn't necessarily put you abovewhere you are, but you, where you are,
cause you touch, if you do know themor, you know, people like them, but
I guess we're thinking that way andnetworking connections breed networking
(24:40):
connections, which is especially powerful.
Now it sounds like some of.
Some of what has helped you toois just the head bash through
the brick wall sort of attitude.
I mean, your book's called Go ForStupid, which sort of seems to
be a, like, I'm gonna do it andscrew you if you don't think I can.
So talk a little about the, the,the mindset it takes, the energy.
(25:02):
For people who don't naturallyhave that approach what, what is,
what does that take to be able tojust say, Oh, I'm just gonna do it.
Steve Simms (25:09):
Buckets.
Let's talk about buckets for a second.
You stick a sponge in a bucket ofwater inherently and automatically it's
just gonna soak up all of that water.
Okay?
You stick that exact same sponge ina bucket of, of used old carb oil.
And he's going to attempt to suckup all of that car oil, okay?
(25:32):
As we are people, if we stick our head ina bucket full of negativity, depression,
oppression, recession, distraction,distortion, we're soaking all of that up,
then there'd be no room for anything else.
Yeah, if we stick our head ina bucket full of positivity,
what are we going to soak up?
So, you saying that thesepeople can't do that?
(25:57):
I'm saying that you're stickingyour head in the wrong bucket.
You've got to change your environment.
Do you remember I said about the tree?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You've got to change your location.
You've got to change what you listen to.
A friend of mine, Peter Diamandis,who launched the X prize.
He said to me, never watchesthe news in the morning.
Some of the times they'll watchit at five o'clock at night.
(26:19):
But if it's of importance.
He'll get a text or something to popup on his phone, but he never watches
it because he wakes up in the morning.
He's all pumped.
It's a new day.
The sun's shining.
He lives well in Malibu.
Everything's great.
Turns the news on.
Two hours of doom and gloom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
All of his optimism andpositivity is now fighting against
(26:42):
this distortion negativity.
So why try to fight it?
Ignore it.
Don't listen to it.
So, it's not a case of,Oh, I can't do that.
It's a case of, well, maybeyou're in an environment that
doesn't allow you to do that.
Yeah.
You see, here's something for you,and I'll pick on you on this, Michael.
(27:04):
If I say to you, okay, you'vegot your podcast, you've got your
events, you've got your coaching.
What is your goal over thenext three, three years?
And you give me your goal.
And then I say, you're right,Michael, we're going to do this.
It sounds impossible.
We're going to make it possible.
We're going to make theimpossible possible.
Impossible stands for I'm possible.
(27:26):
Right?
That's all very gritty, isn't it?
It's like you're going intobloody war on a gladiator set.
And anything that rigid and fierce.
Cracks and breaks.
But one of the things I learnedwith all of the amazing people
that I've worked with all over theplanet, is that they have childish
(27:47):
curiosity, and they gamify everything.
So if I said to you, Michael, what'syour goal for the next three years,
and you give me your goal, and Iturn around and I go, Is that it?
Surely we should, like, havesome fun with this, Michael.
What's the stupid goal we can have?
You like a car next year?
(28:09):
Why don't we go for five?
Now, here's the thing.
And you're gonna have to re watch this.
I want you to look at yourface over those two examples.
One of them had you a little bit cringey.
The other one had youlaughing and chuckling.
When you laugh and chuckle, you becomea child, your nuance become creative,
(28:31):
you explode with gamification and it'snot impossible because now it's a game.
Now it's a challenge.
Now in my concierge days, I would havepeople going, Hey, I want, I want to
meet the rock band journey backstageand we'd be like, well, okay, I hear
you, but how can we make that request?
Stupid.
(28:52):
How can we be really daft with this?
How could we just make it laughable?
We ended up sticking that client onstage with the band and he's the shortest
term lead singer of Journey and he sangfour tunes live on stage in San Diego.
We had a client that wanted anamazing dining experience in Florence.
We shut down the Accademiade Galleria, set up a table
(29:15):
of six at the feet of David.
And then Michelangelo's David and thenbrought Andrea Bocelli in to serenade
him while he hits his main course.
We take what you've asked.
and make it stupid.
Now here's the thing, we're in asociety today where we are really
(29:36):
fast to judge and very slow to listen.
And people love laughing ateach other, not in a good way.
And they want you to fail because mostpeople in the planet have a poor mindset.
And again, it's that location.
If everyone around you isgoing, Oh, you can't do that.
You cry.
You're never going to be able to growup because change your location, get
(30:00):
into a room where people go, is that it?
You, you, you really goingto get the impact from that?
I just expected more out of you.
That's the room you need to be in.
So in today's world, weactually try to push people.
Now I released go for stupid.
Last year last October,it became a bestseller.
(30:20):
I think it's being tracked.
Bluefish got translated in nine languagesand is a bestseller in each go for stupid.
I think we're up to likefour or five languages.
We haven't completedall the languages yet.
And we've hit bestseller.
I think in like three of those, we'regiving it away for free at go for stupid.
com.
We don't get any hair productsor the t shirt sales out of it.
(30:43):
We're not trying to hit anyone up, butwe want people to go for ridiculous goals
because in today's world, we're actuallylaughing at people for the wrong reasons.
We should be supporting.
We should be challengingand nine times out of ten.
The downside of that is thatyou are the room you are in.
(31:03):
So is it your locationis holding you back?
Michael Whitehouse (31:06):
Yeah.
Yeah, I love that.
I was talking to someone recently aboutbeing afraid to get up and dance because
you don't want to, you know, look foolish.
And...
And, you know, the realization thatsome people slowly have is that no one's
watching you dancing because they'retoo busy worrying about themselves.
And then a lot of people, like me,and probably you, the ones we judge
(31:27):
aren't the people dancing on the dancefloor, it's the people sitting in
the chairs who are afraid to get up.
Steve Simms (31:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I'm the first one to dance.
When my wife starts kind of liketapping her toes, I'm like...
Let's get it up.
And you're right.
Everyone's kind of like, there'll be thoselittle murmurs, there'll be those little
giggles, and then there's the peoplethere going, I want to get up as well.
I really want to get up.
I'm not going to miss out.
My life is not being audited by you.
So I'm going to live it to my rules,my standards, and I'm going to
(31:55):
live it to the way that I want to.
And I think that's howyou should live your life.
Yeah.
Michael Whitehouse (32:00):
Yeah.
And I, I know I hang out in the rightrooms because when I dance like a.
You know, white guy, people are like,yeah, go Michael, because they see him.
I'm giving it a shot.
You know, people would rather watchsomeone dance with passion than
sit in the chair and, and say, youknow, wish I could wish I could.
So where can, you know, it's, it'seasy to say, find a better room.
(32:21):
Yeah, but.
And, but you know, if, if someone's ina place where maybe their spouse is not
supportive, but you know, they're not ina position, you know, they're, they're
married to them, they're not going toleave them and, you know, maybe their
family is not supportive or their, theircoworkers or, you know, people, it's,
it, it's not just go to a different room.
It's not like you go down the hallwayand there's, you know destructive
(32:42):
jerks and supportive, nice guys.
And you just like, Oh, the othersupportive, nice guys room.
So if, what would yousay to someone who's.
Who's it's more structural for them.
And it's not just find better friends.
How can they surround themselveswith better people when they
when it's built around them.
Steve Simms (33:01):
Well, they're doing it now.
They don't have to go down the corridor.
They can start listening to podcasts.
They can start reading books.
They can join Facebook groups.
I know for a lot of people, they arerunning, they are in toxic environments.
Well, look, be a certainway in that environment.
And then when you're out of thatenvironment, you're driving in the car.
(33:23):
Pick good podcasts, read goodbooks, surround yourself with
good positive information.
You will break free.
I had a friend of mine.
He was a, he's a client and wheneverhe would come to my events, I had
these events called speakeasiesand whenever he would come to the
event, he would always wear thecoolest sneakers that I've ever seen.
(33:44):
And I'm not a sneaker guy, butI'd be like, they are cool.
And he'd be like, oh yeah, theseare like this, this Japanese brand.
And they're like 1, 200and that, this and that.
Every day, and like over threedays, he'd wear like four
different pairs of sneakers.
Okay, and he collected them and then oneday I was having a stopover in his city
and I said, Hey, I've got a layover.
(34:06):
So, you know, should we go out for tea?
He's like, well, I'm down at thepub with my mates and I went,
Oh, I'll come down and join you.
And he had the shitty pair ofold scuffed up Nikes on the
literally had a hole on them.
And I was like, whatthe hell are you doing?
And I said, I never thoughtyou would have worn anything.
He's like, well, in thisenvironment, I'm actually scared
(34:26):
of wearing the good sneakers.
For fear of what my buddies will sayand I said, well, so you're telling me
you're living your standards to them.
And he was like, yeah, I was like, if youwant to do that as a slippery slope down.
So the following week he turns upat this, this bar with his buddies.
(34:47):
Where's one of his cool sneakers.
And of course, all of his buddies like,well, and they gave him a bit of a ribbon.
Following week, he wears adifferent pair of sneakers.
And one of the guys turns around andsays, Hey, you know, I hate my...
Where do you get your sneakers from?
And he starts telling them.
The third week, two of the guysare wearing decent sneakers.
(35:11):
You see, the point is people want goodstandards, but somebody's got to be the
first one to get on the dance floor.
You may have a bunch of negativityaround you, but they may actually
be looking for someone to raisethe standards of the room.
Be those standards.
Michael Whitehouse (35:28):
So it's not that people want the room to be negative.
It's just, that's how it is.
And maybe they're waiting for someone.
It's always easy.
Steve Simms (35:35):
It's always easy to be negative, isn't it?
It's the easiest thing in theworld to rip people apart.
It's the easiest thing inthe world to be the naysayer.
But when someone breaks out andhas the strength to stand up, you'd
be surprised at how many peoplego, Oh, I want to stand with you.
Michael Whitehouse (35:56):
That is, that's a very powerful point.
So you also need to leave your group offriends, you don't have to leave your
family, maybe you just need to be the,the example for them and they'll follow.
Bingo.
That's extremely powerful.
And that I, I can imagine that somepositive effects will knock on from that.
Steve Simms (36:16):
Every time, every time.
Worst case scenario, you'll realize thatyou've outgrown the room and you will
naturally just move into a different room.
Michael Whitehouse (36:25):
That is, that is really good.
Yeah.
And I love that, thatgopher stupid concept.
Because I think it's, I think for alot of people, if they think about,
you know, I want to, you know, makeanother 20, 000, that feels hard.
Yeah.
But if it's, I want to makeanother 200, 000, that feels crazy.
It's like, I just listenedto Dan Sullivan's new book,
(36:46):
10X Better Is Easier Than 2X.
Yeah.
That, that it's like, you know, Iwant to make 10 percent more money.
Well, maybe we'll do a differentFacebook ad or whatever.
Well, how are we going to make, how arewe going to make 100 percent more money?
Oh oof.
Well, that's right.
Only one way we can do that, andthat is pretty clear what to do.
Steve Simms (37:05):
And also you gotta realize that if you try to make
20 grand extra next year, by goingfor 100 grand and failing and
making 50, you know, you failed up.
Yeah.
And that's a big thing youwant to be focusing on.
Michael Whitehouse (37:19):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's that is really powerful.
So this has been a fantastic conversation.
I will definitely be be listeningback to it because all kinds of good.
I mean, I expected to bea fantastic conversation.
It's Steve Sims, but it's beeneverything I expected more.
Is there anything that you wish I hadasked you that I did not ask you yet?
Steve Simms (37:43):
No, I think I think we're good.
I think you know, you knowhow could people follow me?
Maybe?
I don't know.
Well, I'm going to ask that one.
I'm sure you would, you know,it's not your first rodeo.
No, I think we had some good questions.
I don't want to overload people,but they've just got to start off
by, you know, changing the room,Naveen, and they can do that by
listening to the podcast and books.
Michael Whitehouse (38:02):
Fantastic.
So you did mention the, the go for stupid.
com website where they can get your book.
Are there other waysthat they can follow you?
Steve Simms (38:10):
Steve D Sims.
Don't forget the D in there fordashing and it's only one M in Sims.
So stevedsims.
com.
They can find out about the book and Simsto still be my community, or they can go
onto Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, justtype in Steve D Sims and you'll find me.
I suppose I'm most I suppose I domost of the work on Instagram but
(38:31):
if you want to jump on Instagram,follow me and then send me a message.
Just let me know that you'llheard me on this podcast.
Michael Whitehouse (38:37):
Awesome.
And actually tell me a little bitabout the the Sims Distillery.
Steve Simms (38:41):
We, I like going into masterminds and I've spent
a lot of money in masterminds.
Some of them have beenabsolutely brilliant.
Some of them have been great upsellopportunities for people to try and
get me to buy the next level of it.
And it's been very annoying andvery irritating, but I wanted
to create the room that I wishI had found when I was younger.
(39:03):
So I went around to a bunch ofmy friends and we said, I said,
I want to set up that room.
I want to set up that mastermind.
So we get together.
Three times a year at a live event.
And we get together every Tuesdaymorning, nine till 10, where we have
tech, we go through authors, we go throughexpert hours, we go through hot seats.
So I wanted to build a communitythat supported where, you know, your
(39:27):
credit card running through wasn'tthe sole way that we would pick you
and allow you to come into the group.
So we have people apply.
We vet them, we stalk them, andthen we accept them or decline them.
But Sims Distillery is, is the, theroom that I created for my aggravation.
Michael Whitehouse (39:46):
Hmm.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah.
That's kinda how it ended up making my,my JV connect networking event that I
finally got fed up and I'm like, why isn'tanyone doing it the way it should be done?
Steve Simms (39:55):
There you go again, why don't I do that?
Is that aggravation again?
Michael Whitehouse (39:59):
Yeah, someone should do that.
Oh yeah.
It's that guy.
The guy with a gray beard.
He should.
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much.
It's been such an honor andpleasure to, to interview you.
And I thank you for sharing everythingyou have and not overwhelming,
but well educating our audience.
Steve Simms (40:18):
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Michael Whitehouse (40:22):
Thank you for joining us for the guy who knows the guy podcast.
I'm Michael Whitehouse,the guy who knows the guy.
And I hope you'll join us in Decemberfrom the 12th to the 14th for JV
connect, go to guy who knows a guy.
com for more details.
Now, if it's after December, 2023, andyou're listening to this, it's okay,
because we're going to be doing this eventevery quarter to go to guy knows a guy.
(40:42):
com.
See what's new, see what's happening,and of course check the show notes
to learn about our guests and howyou can get in touch with them.
Check out our next episode formore great training, information,
and networking tips from MichaelWhitehouse, the guy who knows a guy.
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