DDR 046 - New Years Goals Instead of Resolutions

In this engaging conversation, Rick Hanson, Kelley Lovelace, and Ashley Kurtenbach reflect on their holiday experiences and delve into the topic of New Year's resolutions. They discuss the difference between setting goals and making resolutions, emphasizing the importance of personal growth and consistency over time.

The conversation touches on navigating life's challenges, embracing new beginnings, and finding joy in connections and experiences, particularly through travel. They also explore the impact of loss and the significance of maintaining a positive outlook in the face of adversity.

Rick, Ashley, and Kelley explore the significance of relationships, the importance of slowing down to appreciate life, and the balance between personal goals and meaningful connections. They discuss the busy trap that many fall into, the need for growth, and the value of responding thoughtfully in conversations. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of being present, defining success on personal terms, and the role of tact in communication.

Rick and Kelley discuss the dynamics of conflict in relationships, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding different processing styles. They explore personal growth through setting goals and resolutions, highlighting the concept of servant leadership and the impact of elevating others.

The discussion culminates in the significance of meaningful conversations that inspire and connect individuals, reinforcing the idea that personal development is a collective journey.

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Takeaways

• New Year's resolutions can often feel overwhelming and unrealistic.
• Setting smaller, consistent goals can lead to better outcomes.
• Personal growth should be a continuous journey, not limited to a calendar year.
• Life's challenges can help us grow and develop resilience.
• Embracing new beginnings can open up opportunities for growth.
• Finding light in dark times is essential for mental well-being.
• Traveling and connecting with others can bring joy and fulfillment.
• It's important to focus on the positive aspects of life.
• Setting boundaries can help prioritize personal happiness.
• Being the best version of ourselves is a lifelong commitment. Influencing others positively is a key goal.
• Slowing down allows for better awareness of life.
• Success should not come at the expense of relationships.
• Finding balance between who we are and who we want to be is essential.
• Growth is necessary; stagnation leads to decline.
• Busy-ness can be a mask for self-importance.
• Investing in relationships requires time and effort.
• Honoring others in communication reflects our character.
• Confidence is quiet; arrogance is loud.
• Responding thoughtfully can prevent unnecessary conflict. Conflict resolution is essential for maintaining relationships.
• Loyalty is demonstrated through willingness to address conflicts.
• Understanding processing styles can improve communication.
• Stacking small grievances can lead to resentment.
• Setting personal goals is a pathway to growth.
• Servant leadership focuses on elevating others.
• Effective communication prevents misunderstandings.
• Building relationships requires intentional effort.
• Meaningful conversations can inspire change.
• Personal development is a shared journey.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
to go.
You're live.
Well, then we will get going here.
Well, hello, Don't Die Rusty Nation.
This is Rick Hanson, part of the group, the Ricktastics.

(00:23):
I have with me tonight, Kelly Lovelace and I have Ashley Kurttenbach.
And Ricky Bruhle, he must be missing the show.
That's all I can say.
not, I was going to go down.
I was going to go down a different road there, but I won't, you know, like those people inbands that miss shows because they were doing other things.

(00:47):
He isn't, he actually is being a dad.
So, but this is going to be a great conversation because I wanted to start out the newyear with the.
like your New Year's resolutions and I wanted to say well first of all Happy New YearHappy New Year to everyone you know this is going to be how was your Christmases?

(01:14):
was good we Christmas on a in the middle of the week is not great no first of all theschedule but second I will say because it was in the middle we Jesse and I were here spent
it well we did spend it with friends
that was nice.
That's, know, you're, you know, family in a sense.
but it was more relaxed than normal.

(01:35):
Cause I feel like when it's on a weekend, you're just like, there's party after party andseeing this person and all the things.
it was nice.
How's yours, Kelly?
It was good.
I got four kids and they were all home.
Spent a week together.
Did a little bit of first time I've ever gone spearing like for northerns.

(01:57):
Yeah, so we did some spearing with my son-in-law's and had a blast doing that.
Yeah, so it was a good Christmas.
Yeah.
You know, and, and I was in Alaska, which was very, very interesting.
And, it was, it was, I could never get acclimated and, and it was cloudy every day.

(02:20):
So even the, when the light came out, wasn't light and it was dark, you know, like at 1030 to four 30, I mean, between 10 40 and four 30 is the only time you had light.
And that was
You were lucky and I was tired all the time, but it was good.
it was, you know, first, that was the first Christmas I hung out with Cindy and it wasgood.

(02:43):
It's an adventure.
And so we have this, it seems like every time we get together, we talk about somethingbathroom oriented.
So I'm going to go with there right away here.
Cause this is funny to me, but on our way back, this is probably the funniest story on theway back.

(03:03):
We in Alaska, you fly out early in the morning, like two, two in the morning or so.
And that's when we flew out and we got to Seattle and I had to go to the bathroom.
So I walk in and.
If the bathroom is totally full, of course, cause everybody, there's more people there,you know, getting off of planes.

(03:26):
So the bathroom's full and.
We're starting to load already.
mean, there was no time really to do anything.
Cindy's in line.
next flight was boarding?
Yeah, boarding.
Oh, wow.
And so I said, Cindy, and we were in, you know, we're a little further back.
So I said, I, I waited and then I went and tried to go again and I finally got to go.

(03:49):
And it was so bad.
In fact, this other guy, he got on the plane and went cause it was so quick.
know what I mean?
So that was one bad situation of going to the bathroom in an airport.
So then here's the better one.
So we have to fly from Seattle to Dallas to get to Rapid City.
have no idea, you know, about that kind of stuff, but I fly into Dallas.

(04:12):
Four hours later, I have to go to the bathroom.
I walk into the bathroom and there's two cops trying to get this guy out of a stall.
And I thought my luck at going to the bathroom and airports on the way home isn't verygood.
So I walked back out and we had a little time there and then they, it took a while to getthis guy out of the bathroom.

(04:32):
I found a different one.
Is he passed out or what?
I have no idea what happened, but that's, that's my funny stories of traveling to Alaska,from Alaska to Alaska was great.
It was boom, boom, boom.
And we were there and it was fun.
But, I want to talk about new years.
And I've been thinking about this cause I read a lot.

(04:55):
and I've watched some news articles about it and I've listened to some people talk aboutit and I laugh at the people.
This is my, I don't know what, do you guys think of New Year's resolutions?
And then I want to talk to you about where I'm going to go.
Kelly, you can start.

(05:16):
Thanks.
Yeah.
Appreciate that.
Well, I don't really like them.
I'm not a fan.
I don't think there's anything wrong with looking forward and setting goals for yourself.
I think a lot of times when we think of when I think of a new year resolution, I shouldn'tsay we lump you guys into that thought.

(05:37):
But when I think of a new year's resolution, I think of something that I want toaccomplish that's way it's like really big.
And I focus on the really big thing without focusing on the little steps to get there.
And I want it to happen now or quicker or sooner in that year.
And a lot of times, like, if you really think about it, the goals that really meansomething, you're not going to get them, you're not always going to get them done in a

(06:03):
year.
so there's just something about new year's resolutions that bugs me.
and so I look at the newness and try to set goals for myself in a lot of ways.
But I don't want to call them New Year's resolutions.
think there's, with a New Year's resolution, you have some dedication and commitmentmaybe, but there's a lack of consistency at times.

(06:31):
And if you just would focus on them being goals, that consistency will come because it'sover a period of time.
It doesn't have to be one year.
So anyway, that's my thought on all of that.
pretty close to where I'm at.
I, I don't do a lot of 20.

(06:53):
set goals, but I, I think I set goals, but I'm constantly, but I don't just reserve it forthe beginning of the year.
Like, Oh, this is when we start and this will we end like, yes, it's nice to hit those.
Like you said, I

(07:13):
just like to constantly work towards bettering yourself.
Like there are years that I will plow through books.
Okay.
I used to be a once a month, I'm going to have one done.
Well, guess what?
In 2024 that didn't happen.
I still read a ton, but not as much as what I normally did.
Um, working out all those things, but like this year, Jesse and I are just working abouteven cleaning up.

(07:42):
It'll probably really help when RFK is in office, but really cleaning up eating andgetting rid of, you know, some of the chemicals and the seed oil, things like that, like
really dialing that stuff in as we get older, we're starting to feel the aches and painsand just knowing how some of those things are related.
But that's not really a goal.

(08:02):
It's kind of a forever lifestyle change.
this year, we, okay, we've done these things.
What's the next step that we can look at and being
bettering ourselves, but it's not like a goal like I'm gonna get rid of All of this thisand this this year or something.
I don't know I don't know so I do set goals for work and personal, but I can't really saylike I have New Year's resolutions I'm trying to this year and every time I feel I will

(08:30):
just say this I feel like it's a curse whenever I said I want to maybe try and run amarathon this year.
It's inevitable.
I will tear a muscle
.
great.
But I am not doing those.
I'm not setting that stuff anymore.
Like, no, that's I'm good with goals, goals here now, whatever, five years, however longit takes.

(08:58):
Well, that's kind of where I was going because, you know, I mean, four years ago, I got ontop of a mountain and set a goal of climbing Kropi Khaimurthi.
That was awesome.
Yeah, and I don't know if that was a new year's resolution, but it was one that was goldand
New Year's day, guess last, on Wednesday when I was climbing, even though I wasn't feelingthe best when I found out, it's kind of funny, but I was thinking about this and that's

(09:28):
where I posted when I made that video about, I don't want to be level.
I don't want, I hate that word level up because I want to be the best me.
I don't want to be just level.
And that's where I see level is.
I want to be at the top of the mountain.
don't want to be at C.
you know, and also I was thinking and I look at people's posts and I look and I'm notcriticizing anybody, but I'm not paying rent to live on this world.

(10:00):
We own the world and we own when we are born, we own, we signed the contract in our own,you know, we're the owners of our own life is what I'm trying to say.
And when I where I'm going with that is
the decisions we make are our own.
And some are good, some are bad.

(10:22):
And we all know that I've certainly made some bad decisions.
I made some good decisions, but I got thinking about that.
And I'm reading this Ryan Holiday book called Right Thing, Right Now, Good Values, GoodCharacter, and Good Deeds.
And I was thinking about...

(10:45):
you when instead of New Year's resolutions, I mean, there's things I want to do and I,want to, I want to start policing my time.
shouldn't say policing, but using my time more wisely in like, in the aspect oftechnology.

(11:08):
The phone is needed these days, but I get caught scrolling.
I catch myself scrolling, I should say, longer than I should because I'd rather, I shouldbe reading a book.
I'm learning a lot about myself in that Right Now, Right Things Right Now book.
And I learned a lot about the, geez, what was the name of that book?

(11:29):
were just reading.
Instiction of Experience.
Instiction of Experience about technology.
And I was thinking,
And well, here's a quote from the book I wrote down here.
Each of us has to make a decision right now about where we are going to put our effortsand what we are going to work towards.

(11:51):
And that's not so much a resolution because here's what I say every time you've been onhere and every time I kind of close is be the best you.
But what's the best you?
In the New Year's resolution to me being the best you
is finding that path every day.

(12:15):
It's like you were saying long-term goals.
You know, it's not like, do I want to work out a little bit more?
Yes, I do.
Do I want to be more thankful for things?
Do I want to be a better person all around?
Because that's, and when I'm reading this and you know, mean, Kelly could

(12:37):
go into this too.
It's like reading the Bible.
It's like being, you're bettering yourself every day.
And it's about the character and the morale, morals and the values that you carry.
That's what people will remember you for.
And that's, and it's about making the decisions of honesty and being the, being who youshould be and who you can be instead of maybe

(13:06):
who you are now.
I don't want to see people.
fail because of something that I did in being mean, you know what I mean?
Cause I don't, always try to cheer people on anyway, but you know, that kind of stuff.
And so when I'm talking about that, like, like I said, technology, want to maybe turn,turn it down a little bit.

(13:36):
I want to read a few more books.
I want to.
Do you know what's funny?
When I came, went back from Alaska, because of not seeing the sun, because it was cloudyand it was dark and I was just in a mood, but getting back to South Dakota where we have

(13:57):
three more hours of light and going for that walk that next morning, it was a totalchange.
Isn't that wild?
My mental change was, it was, was amazing.
And do you, so here's my question should be, is how do we come instead of new year'sresolutions?

(14:21):
Should we say, how do we expand on becoming the best us?
I think it's important to look at the potential of the New Year.
Matter of fact, my next sermon series is going to just be on new things.

(14:46):
God talks about it in His Word, how He's bringing about a new thing.
The old is gone.
The old is behind us.
And there's a new thing.
Can you perceive it?
Can you see it?
And so I just I wrote a little article for our newspaper weekly.
And that was something that I just kind of touched on for
That article was, do we see it?

(15:07):
Do we see the potential of what's coming at us?
Or are we focused on the negative stuff that we have to do, that we have to deal with,that we have to work through?
Are we worried about problems?
we trying to, the way I guess, the best way to put it is, am I building a defensivestructure around me?
Or am I being proactive and offensive in the way that I move my life?

(15:29):
Because if I'm building defense up, I'm just trying to protect what I got.
But if I'm thinking offensively, if I'm thinking proactively, I want to grow what I have.
I don't want to just maintain and hold onto.
I want to see that flourish.
And so do we perceive the potential of what this year might bring us no matter what comesacross our path?

(15:53):
me.
Ashley, you said something that was really funny because I think that happens to me a lot.
It's like I make this this major plan and something happens to bungle it up.
You know, you're just like,
Why, you know, am I able to have this goal?
Am I able to look forward and then whatever comes, let's say I pull that muscle or Isprain that knee or, know, something crazy happens to me health wise and I don't get to go

(16:25):
on that hunt or I don't get to go on that trip or I don't whatever that might be.
Am I able to work through that in a positive way or am I just going to
sit in my darkness, right?
So I think that that has to start at the beginning of the year.
This is one of the toughest months for me and there's probably a lot of reasons.

(16:46):
So I tell people this, like the middle of January to the middle to end of February, I justlike, kind of go through my winter blahs and I get into this little funk if I'm not
careful.
It could be hunting seasons are over and I don't get to hunt anymore.
for a while.
and, and the next thing hasn't started for me.

(17:10):
I don't know.
I tell people what usually pulls me out of it is March madness, get to watch tons ofbasketball.
I want to change that in my life.
I don't want to have that, that downtime where I'm kind of in a funk and can't pull myselfout of it or I'm struggling to pull myself out of it to, be more motivated.

(17:35):
So I kind of connect with what you're talking about, Rick, when you're tired and there'sno light and you're just kind of like that Alaska trip where you're three more hours of
light.
It's a big difference.
Like we don't realize how big that is.
That's why I was laughing.
Right.
The light matters.
So I just feel like if we can focus on that light and move forward, I think that's a goodthing.

(18:03):
I told my wife and I told somebody else this, my wife's birthday is December 21st.
And that is the winter solstice usually that it's that that's the first day of winter.
So for us, there's there's more light coming into our world after the 21st.
And I tell her all the time, you bring light into the world.

(18:25):
Right.
So we kind of focus.
Yes, yes, that glimmer of hope, the darkness is behind us, we're gaining now.
So I just think that's important for us to see the gains, right?
And to recognize those.
Probably a little bit, I don't know if I can say this without laughing, too optimistic, aneternal optimist.

(18:51):
It's for me to get...
really down is hard because I'm looking at, want to look at the good side of things.
Even in the times when we're struggling, there's something better coming, right?
Like I'm going to look past, not look past it, but through it and say, okay, we're goingto deal with this because something better is down the road.

(19:12):
So I think that if we can start off every year that way, it changes our outlook and ourattitude.
I hope that answered your question.
Well, kind of, you know, I I look at, because I was looking at other people's posts andthey said 2024 was crap.
see, 2024 was great.

(19:33):
You see all different personalities have different sides when, difficulties come in andit's how we react to them.
uh, and you don't know what cards you're going to get dealt this year?
No, you know, and it,
It's how we read it.
Like I said, it's how I react and I'm, I want people to know that there are times likethis, like you said, from the winter solstice to like mid February when, know, I mean, I

(20:06):
always look, if I can get to March 1st, usually, usually the cold is gone.
You know, usually spring is starting to hit here in the black hills, North Dakota.
It's usually July, but anyway.
Right, we got a four day window of summer.
It's called summer
We get a taste of spring and then April we get a blizzard from out of nowhere.

(20:29):
you know, mean, those are the days when I'm posting my morning posts or doing things likethat is some days my post is picking me up as well as showing people because there's days
that I am not prepared to write a post, you know, that
I'm not in a good place, but when you get up early, you go for that little walk, you getthat fresh air and you start thinking about, got another day and we can keep on moving

(21:01):
forward kind of thing.
Cause here's the deal.
I'm going to, I don't know how to say this.
I've never mentioned my sister on this podcast.
I've mentioned my other one.
But Amy, my middle sister died on New Year's Eve.

(21:25):
And my dad gave me the call.
We were out scooping snow.
And it's one of the way I was scooping snow at work is what I'm saying.
And what I'm saying is not every day.
I mean, you, you try to prepare for such things some days, but you aren't prepared foreverything.

(21:50):
So, like I said, I've never mentioned her on the podcast now, Amy, you're mentioned on thepodcast.
So I hope you enjoy that.
I can, you know, um, but that was 2024.
Now we're in 2025.
And I, I'm.
I climbed to the top of Crow Peak thinking about that a little bit.

(22:12):
And then I climbed down and it's funny because when I got, I didn't realize that I wassick until I got to the top and then I knew I wasn't feeling well.
And I got to the bottom and got home and said, this sucked.
I mean, Cindy said, how was it?
I said, this is the worst climb I've ever had.

(22:32):
And it was in snow and I thought it was that.
And then I ended up having about 101.5 degree fever.
and just not feeling well.
But we get over this stuff and we have to start moving forward and we have to believe thateverybody is going to the best place they're supposed to be going.
So, and we set our goals for this year.

(22:58):
And my goal this year is to be the best person I can be.
So I do not know exactly where I was going with this, so I'll cut this out.
I don't, but I just wanted to.
You know, there are hardships in every year that we have, and it doesn't matter who youare.
You're going to have hardships, but we have to realize that they help us grow.

(23:26):
Maybe that's my point.
Not all years are bad.
Maybe an hour is bad or maybe a day is bad, but not all years are bad.
know, I mean, Kelly will have to say like someday.
The Chicago Bears will make the playoffs.

(23:50):
think kind of on what you both said, but leaving that in the past, Kelly, you mentionedthat and like moving on and I think everybody likes a good reset, whether you've had a
good year or a bad year.
the previous year, I think people are ready for something new.
gives us hope.
It gives us something.
look forward to.
You're talking about setting boundaries, whether that's with yourself and your phone orwhatever.

(24:15):
I've had to get better at that because obviously I open myself up to being busy.
know, Jesse's like, do you ever say no?
I'm like, you'd be surprised how many times I do actually say no, but it is a thing I haveto can
constantly work on because I will immediately look at my schedule and fill that up.
And I don't think I'm the only, I'm not alone there.

(24:36):
There's a lot of people are like, well, I'm free technically, so let's fill it in.
so I think that's a thing that you kind of touched on and now I forgot where I was goingto go with that.
But, know, I like looking forward to the positive things and I don't know what I'm goingto be dealt.

(24:57):
You brought up death.
You know, it's coming.
You just don't know when or what year you're going to have to deal with it.
And some people, seems like they get, they stand up, they recover, and then they just gethammered again and again and again and again.
And you don't know if it's going to be this year or not.
You try and look positive.

(25:18):
One thing I did notice.
I have a life coach that I've met with and I was very, you know, he, he tries to dig outfinancial,
goals, everything, financial, personal relationships, spiritual, all those things.

(25:38):
And this year, I don't know what it is, but my answers were totally different.
So normally on, like as a Christian on a spiritual level, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna dothis devotional or read this more or read or yada yada yada.
And honestly, my whole mind shifted and this year,

(25:58):
I think because they say after 40 you start getting no filter.
I don't know if you guys have heard that, but you just stop caring and you just startspurting out like what you think.
And I was like, no, I'm not going to do that.
I'm still and I'm not going to try and let things bother me this year.
I'm going to have tough conversations, but I'm going to really try hard in being thebiggest person that I can be in conversations, whether it's business.

(26:28):
or with friends just trying to be nice and like, I don't know how to say it, but that issomething I wrote down is just being as nice as I can without, I'm still not gonna get
walked over.
I mean, if you know me, you know that that's not happening, but to try to handlesituations without.

(26:52):
uttering things underneath my breath or letting things continue to bother me.
Like I'm going to tell you if something you said bothers me at the right time, and thenwe're going to move.
And then I just want to move on because I don't want to harbor this stuff for more thanminutes.
If I don't have to.
That was one thing I wrote down and then consistently across the board, he kept askingwhat made you happy in 2024?

(27:15):
What made you happy?
What made you happy?
What made you happy?
And literally
The thing that kept coming to my brain was traveling.
And it was like the trip with my parents that I made this year.
That was incredible.
And I don't think I gave it enough weight in the time as to how important that was.
then I questioned, did I live in the moment?

(27:36):
I was like, no, I did.
I remember being kind of stressed on that trip because I had just started kind of gettinginto real estate.
things like that.
And I was like panicking a little bit about being gone and being out of service.
And but then I was like, it's this all these things just kind of work out and it's goingto be fine.

(27:57):
But consistently traveling getting to see our friends that live in Utah, in Oregon, likeColorado, whatever it was, it that was consistent across the board.
So what do need to do in 2025 to be happy to set goals to look forward to things travel?
apparently, because that is the one thing that made me just happiness, like friends,family, whatever it was.

(28:23):
So now I know I'm taking that into 2025 and really making it a priority.
Like, no, I'm not too busy.
Like, yes, I can do a weekend away.
And then I thought of surprising one of my best friends.
She had not a good year.
She was one of those that

(28:44):
was dealt a crap load of just crap.
And I was like, you know what?
She's never been to this place.
I may just call her and say, hey, what are you doing Thursday through Sunday?
Let's go here and let's just have a weekend away.
Like no plans.
Because I know that would be time well spent with her and for our friendship and then alsogetting to do what makes a lot of people happy, like a mini vacation.

(29:12):
And I don't think I should tell her so that she can't give me any excuses why she can'tgo.
know?
But those are things.
I was a little surprised when he was asking me questions.
Like, honestly, I didn't think those were going to be my answers at all.
But and and so to go back to being a good person and being like basically Christ-like, itwas like that is going to be my devotion for my spiritual growth this year is to be

(29:42):
a resounding example constantly of that is a good person.
That's what a good human looks like.
Like that is what I want to try and be is model that every day and not try and, you know,I roll when you're annoyed or say things underneath your breath.

(30:04):
Things like that, you know, those little things to be better that way.
Cause I don't want to, it's funny that we're going in this direction because it's like, Isee this and I don't want to criticize people that don't really, when it's my opinion,

(30:27):
cause you live in your life, you live in your life.
I may not want to go in those directions at times, but I can't criticize you, but we'restill friends.
And that's where I, and there's other people that,
You know, but you're right on the, I, I, here's one thing with Cindy that drives me nuts.

(30:49):
And we talked about this too.
And I said, I want to go on a trip where you do not look at your phone and see where we'regoing.
I do not want Google maps to come out because it bothers me.
Cause that takes away the adventure to me.
Like if I need to get to somewhere, that's fine.
You're going to give her so much anxiety.
Yeah.

(31:11):
But I want us to look around too many people are looking at we talked about this lookingat their Google Maps and not looking around and not that she's doing that but I want to
have the adventure in the conversation and it's also about making the memories and it'sinteresting that you said that because Traveling and seeing people are important to me

(31:36):
becoming more important because of
I really want to get to Florida and see one of my friends I haven't seen since I was incollege.
I want to, I understand that we can stay connected through social media, through a lot ofdifferent means this year, but it's not the same.

(31:58):
And I, you know, I mean, this is one thing we needed to plan on.
somewhere before,
March Madness comes along is to go up and see Kelly in Oaks, North Dakota.
And do a podcast around the, in just, I think that would be fun.

(32:18):
That would be fun.
In person, all three of us, four of us, whatever, because all of our trips together in allof our time together.
And maybe that's why.
Some things hit me harder than the others, but you don't realize how short this time onearth is.

(32:47):
And let's influence as many people as we can and let's say hi and let's go on that tripand let's share some bread and conversation.
Great.

(33:07):
See, that's another goal, 2025.
I think that what life is teaching me and I've been in this this part, this leg of thejourney, I think for probably a couple of years now is just to slow down.
To mentally.

(33:29):
Force myself to slow down.
Right.
I think we.
We get, at least I do, get focused on hitting that goal and I want it to happen now.
Right?
I'm going to work really hard to get that goal off my list as soon as possible.
And in those moments, I'm looking at Google maps and I'm not looking around and I'm notseeing what's going on in the periphery, right?

(33:59):
My peripheral.
Slowing down helps me to see better.
This isn't a blur, this stuff out here.
doesn't blur by as I'm so locked in.
And I'm not saying that focus isn't a good thing.
I just think that being busy doesn't always mean you're productive.
And we allow, right?

(34:20):
We allow that to kind of cyclone in our life.
And so, man, how are you doing?
I'm busy.
It doesn't mean I'm productive.
It means that, right?
I've been so busy and I don't want that to be my answer, right?
you
I think a question that really rings true for me, it just, hits me at my core is what,what do you want?

(34:46):
What, what are your priorities?
Like, what do you want?
I get it.
Like I want to be successful in what I'm doing, but I don't want to be successful at theexpense of relationship.
What do you want and what do you need?
Right.
Right.
And how can we get those two things to kind of like if they're two circles, how can we getthem to line up?

(35:08):
I don't think you ever get them completely like solid clear circles, but they get close,you know, like you got this oblong blur with two circles in it because they're touching
what you want, what you need.
And so if we can get to that point, I think that's a good goal to try to get those twothings to come together.
For me, relationships are becoming more more more more important, especially as I see mykids grow up, as I see grandkids come along.

(35:36):
I'm in that grand grand kid age.
I got two grandkids now.
It's just things have started to change for me.
And so instead of having to get to that meeting or have to have to get that thing done orhave to get those numbers turned in or get this report taken care of, I'm starting to
realize that those things stole.

(35:56):
I allowed them to opportunities to build better relationships.
I got so focused on it.
And then here's the sucky part of that.
We allow that stuff to begin to define us.
Like I'm productive.
I got my stuff done.
I'm in order.
That's who I am.
Well, I don't want that to be my definition.

(36:18):
I, I, it goes back to who I'm wanting to be.
Like, who do I want to be?
Um, I, I, I say this to people all the time.
Again, it's these circles.
We all know who we are.
I believe that like, if we look in the mirror, we know our deepest, darkest junk, uh, thestuff that we don't want other people to see.

(36:38):
We're really good at hiding.
So.
We know ourselves in that way.
And then there's this person we want to be.
And then there's the person that we should be.
Right?
Like we hear, well, you should be more like this, or you should be more like that.
Well, if who I want to be doesn't line up with that, is that wrong?

(36:59):
Do you see what I'm saying?
So if I can get all three of those things, who I am, who I want to be, and who I shouldbe, again, to come into focus better.
I'm meeting my goal.
Like that I'm becoming better every day.
I'm moving towards something.
I'm growing.
I don't think there's any place where you can just sit and maintain.

(37:20):
I think you have to grow.
And if you're not growing, you're dying.
One hundred.
If you're not growing, dying, so.
agree 100 % there.
So instead of resolutions, how can we grow this next year?
What is it we can do to help myself expand and grow?

(37:41):
It might be uncomfortable.
It might be hard.
It might be something that's way outside my skill set or my comfort zone or my, know.
But if it's needed to help me become better and grow, then I need to focus on thosethings.
So.
And do you think a saying we're busy is making us self-important?

(38:06):
Not so much like, I'm so busy, I'm so busy, I'm self-important instead of, you know,taking that time out for others and showing that they're important too.
I think part of the busy is people have started using that as a response because itimmediately shuts down any further questions.

(38:29):
I don't know if you've noticed that, but even if you watch total strangers say, how haveyou been?
If you're hearing a conversation off to the side, just, just watch.
they're like, man, we've been so busy.
Yeah, I hear you.
That's like, is the response.
it's shut down immediately instead of going, I have tried to, before in conversations whenI know that that's where it's going, it's like, no, let me tell you what I've been busy

(38:57):
doing.
So you don't think I'm just.
Because it is, people are just pushing it off as to, and then it's almost like you shutdown the question and maybe they weren't really caring what you were doing.
But you know, it's like, with work and hunting or whatever it might be, like this is whatwe've been doing or try and throw a nugget out there at least, well, Anna, it's part of

(39:21):
conversation, but it is, it is interesting when someone says, well, I'm busy.
It just immediately shuts.
conversation down.
No one even questions it.
I get it.
I'm busy too.
And that's it.
We're not like that's it.
So interesting.
I think it shuts the conversation down and it shuts down any opportunity to invest in arelationship.

(39:44):
Yes.
Cause that's where, yeah.
Cause that's where I said you were not busy.
I'd be like, well, let's go hang out then.
And you're like, no, I don't have time for that.
Because it's truly interesting that you're saying this because here's the deal.
I mean, and I get angry maybe at myself, but you know, I know you're busy.

(40:06):
know you're busy.
I'm looking at Kelly here if you're not listening, but
ha ha!
Here's the problem that I have, or any people that I think are close is my problem is Iknow you're busy and I'm not trying to contact you as much because I feel I'm not going to

(40:29):
try to jump into a conversation because I know you're busy doing other things.
And then that starts, like you start pulling away because
I feel that you're too busy.
You know what I mean?
You're too busy for me and I'm not going to bother you anymore.

(40:49):
So then you guys may think that I'm busy, but I'm not as busy trying, but I'm just tryingto say, you know what?
I know they're busy.
I'm not going to bother them.
thing to try and balance.
It really is.
And it is.
sometimes I get hurt because I feel like if I haven't talked to you guys for a couple

(41:13):
sometimes a couple of weeks and we haven't even texted.
It's like, do I text?
They're too busy for me.
That kind of stuff.
That's, but that's like, have they forgot about me?
that kind of stuff, because you know what I mean?
I'm not going to step on somebody's toes.

(41:34):
I feel it.
Sometimes I think I'm being selfless, but then I'm sometimes I want to be selfish becauseI'm one to have that.
alone time with you guys or have those conversations, you know, like.
Let me flip that on you.
What if you're being selfish by not making the contact?
Because you don't want to feel awkward or you don't want to feel, you know what I mean?

(41:56):
you spent thinking about that.
Yeah.
Just send the text.
Just call.
right.
And I'm not in that way.
Like if I, if you come to a vine, I'm going to text you.
If you, if, like I, I've gotten out of that mode, like there's people that go, I knowyou're busy.
And I'm like, if you call me and I don't answer, I'm going to call you back.

(42:17):
Right.
You're not bothering me.
You're not taking, you're not taking time.
If I, if I'm not able to talk to you.
I won't answer or I won't respond right away, but I will respond like I will get back withyou.
I don't want you to feel like you're taking it from me.
I just had this conversation with a guy today.
He's like, I don't want to take your time.
I go, you're not taking time, right?

(42:38):
Like it's a gift and I'm giving it because this matters.
Like this relationship matters.
You matter.
You're important.
If we say something's important and then we don't give attention or time or resources toit, then it's not important.
That's just the bottom line, right?
Yes, I have gotten better at.
I have 10 minutes.

(43:00):
I have 10 minutes.
I've gotten better at that also.
There are conversations.
Like, you've called me a lot when I'm working out.
And I'm like, you know what?
It's fine, because if I can't.
do it simultaneously, then I will let you know.
But I'll just like, Hey, I'm working out so that you know, if I'm on a breath, it's fine.
Cause I'm on a treadmill, you know, but I'm here to listen.

(43:22):
can still listen.
could still have a conversation with you, but I've gotten better at saying like, yes, I'lltake your call.
I am doing this on the sideline.
So if you need me to really pay attention, you should probably say, Hey, I need you tolisten to me real close.
No, I'm just, I'm just saying, you know, I mean, sometimes I think besides me, I thinkother people, think that's where we start pulling apart.

(43:51):
absolutely.
You know what I mean?
And, and, and, and that's where you sometimes feel lost.
But I think in this, I think that's where your circles start getting smaller and smaller.
Yeah.
Because.
They either they've been pulled apart or whatever else has happened.

(44:13):
But you, you know, I talk, like I said, I talked to you guys, so I'm, I'm happy.
I'm just saying, I'm just trying to, your communication gets real strong because you canjust say, is there a good time to talk to you?
Nine o'clock tomorrow night.
Yes.
Yeah.
I wasn't speaking that just you, Rick.

(44:35):
There's a lot of people in my life that say that to me a lot.
Like, they're like, well, I don't want to bug you.
I know you're busy.
And I'm like, I'm not too busy.
Right.
Like, I don't want anybody to ever look at Kelly was too busy to talk to me or Kelly wastoo busy to answer a text or Kelly was too busy to meet with me.
I ever want that to be said of Kelly.
Right.
And then people think that like

(44:57):
And I've got people in my church, I've got friends, got, I know you're busy, I wanna bugyou, I didn't wanna bug you about it.
And I'm like, dude, it's okay to bug me, bug me.
You're not bugging me at all, it's part of it.
And there's people that I contact and they don't get back in touch with me for weeks andI'm like, well, when they're able, they'll call me.

(45:18):
I'm not flipping out about it, right?
I'm that person.
just forget sometimes I just forget and then all of sudden I remember I'm like, shoot Butbut you know, I mean in that it's funny, you know I think you were talking about when you

(45:39):
get older and How you have no filter, but I think you become more confident in yourselftoo.
I think because
I look at it in terms, I saw this somewhere, like when you're confident, there's adifference between confidence and arrogance is when you're confident with yourself, you

(46:01):
don't have to say anything, but when you're arrogant, you have to tell everybody thatyou're confident with yourself.
Yeah.
And I'm not, and if I'm, don't have to tell you, I just, I'm confident that you'll getback to me.
You know what I mean?
And, and, and I think that
The filter part is I really, you're getting Rick.

(46:24):
And sometimes I don't have a filter, but I always try to be that nice person though.
The filter part is maybe making you see things that maybe you didn't see.
And it's not, I don't know where to go with that, but I'm saying like sometimes I try tobe honest with what I see and it's tough sometimes.

(46:49):
Yeah, mean, part of the filter, you can be honest and you can still have your opinion likeyou talked about, but you can also be open minded.
And part of that, as we get older, we get so ground and like, this is, these are my likes,these are my dislikes, this is how I am.
And we can make excuses for that, but I think with the, like having a filter or whether itgoes away.

(47:15):
Like my goal is always just trying to convey like when I'm trying to get a point acrossmaybe doing it as eloquently as I can without just blurting out exactly what we're
probably all thinking.
Things like that.
I've seen my parents do it.
I've even made the comment, mom, you're turning into grandma.

(47:35):
That didn't go over so well because she sees it from that generation and I'm seeing itlike trickle down.
I'm like, oh, that's inevitable.
I pray that's not true.
I know, but I've told you about the time that I was with my mom shopping and Target, likethis was probably 10 years ago and it serious loss of filter.

(47:59):
And I will never forget this.
And I looked at her and my mouth hit the ground because she just, she was frustrated withsomething at the checkout and I'll never forget this.
And she was like, well, geez, can't you do anything about it?
I was like, mom, this lady is checking you out.
She's getting paid like $11 an hour.
You think she cares?
She can't do anything about it.
Just leave her alone.

(48:19):
And my mom is just like, my god, you know, made her feel horrible.
And this, this gal checking her out.
I will never like forget this.
It was just rattled.
My mom had her rattled and my mom was doing the.
the eye roll and I was like, this is not this is not okay.
Immediately.
This is not okay.
I was like, Mom, stop.

(48:41):
And she's like, Well, this is frustrating to me.
said, Yeah, but do think that this lady has anything to do with it?
Like she doesn't care?
Or can she and she can't do anything?
I was like, if you want this fixed, then you're gonna have to go find a manager said,Well, I don't have time for that.
Okay.
Well then you got to accept with where we're at with things like, and, keep your comments.
This is what I'm talking about with the filter.

(49:01):
I'm really trying as I go, like, keep your comments to yourself and don't say anything.
Like you just made this lady feel terrible.
You are the reason people quit jobs like this.
And you know, like, my God, I was so, I was mortified in line, mortified.
Then I get my stuff and I go up and look at the lady.

(49:23):
like,
Sorry.
Gosh, my poor mom just ripped you up and down for something you have zero control overbecause she was mad about some whatever.
can only remember what it was.
And that's why was like, this is petty.
This is petty.
Learn how to take a breath and just swallow those things, swallow it and be the biggerperson and move along.

(49:47):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think there's a difference.
And if we could figure out how to separate tact and terror, right?
Like, if I could just be tactful and respectful in that moment, instead of being a terrorin that moment, right?
It changes things immensely.
So that's that's where I'm at.

(50:08):
Like I see my mom and dad now they're 80 and 80 and 79, 81.
And so
I see some of that come out and you're just like, why?
I don't want to be that, right?
But you have to consciously think about those things because otherwise you'll just blurtit out.

(50:29):
Like it takes a conscious effort to just not be like I had one person I did business withrecently who was a complete jerk to me and it took everything in my being not to put this
person in their place.
I was like, if your clients knew how you really were, they would.

(50:49):
never work with you and it's taking everything in me not to go online and just expose youbut I'm gonna excuse this as you're having a bad day I'm still gonna kill you with
kindness and I'm gonna swallow everything I want to say to you because you deserve to hearit but whatever I'm gonna let this play out but it's things like that that I'm talking
about like really trying to hone in because as you get older like I said you have anopinion and you just want to just lay it out there sometime

(51:18):
Yeah.
swallow it.
To be the bigger person is so much.
I'm the bull in the China shop.
Like I used to just absolutely fire back.
Like that's the fighter in me, you like you're coming at me.
I'm coming back like, boom.
And what I've learned is that I will honor that other person.

(51:41):
This is rough.
It's hard to do that in that moment because it feels so personal.
But to honor them.
That's not a reflection of their character and them as a person or the power they have.
It's a reflection of my character for me to honor them in that kind of situation.
And what I've learned is, so I had a really wise guy in my life, a wise man in my life,and he's an old Ozarks hillbilly.

(52:06):
And he would, he came up to me one day and he said, when, when, when you're arguing withan idiot, what do people who are walking by see?
And I go, I don't know, Danny, what do they see?
And he said, two idiots arguing.
Right?
And I like, there's a lot of wisdom there.

(52:27):
So if I could just be honorable and the word reaction, I heard, I think Rick said react inthe moment.
I want to learn how to train myself to respond in the moment.
And maybe I've talked to you guys about this before, but I want to respond.
And if I can respond in an honorable way, then I don't have to worry about the reactionpart.

(52:49):
And usually it's the reaction.
that causes the explosion.
That's why they call them nuclear reactors and not nuclear responders, because thereaction creates energy that boom blows up.
And so if I can respond in that moment, it's way better, right?
Like the whole whole situation.
And instead of seeing two idiots arguing, they see one idiot behaving like an idiot.

(53:13):
I think the word they use now is is it Karen for the ladies and right?
And what is it they I don't know, they call the guys who act like that, something else.
But you know what I'm saying?
You know what saying, right?
Like that's they're going to see that that aspect of it.
And so if I can behave and respond and live in a way that shows honor and respect and showpeople who my what my character is, I don't have to defend myself with words or.

(53:47):
My actions, the way I live my life will be enough.
Does that make sense?
And I don't want to have to have that pain of regret going, why did I say that?
That was so stupid.
Cause it, feels good in the moment and you're like, I'm relieved of this.
then 10 minutes later, you're like, why I can't take it back.

(54:07):
Like, no, I don't want that to happen.
So, you know, I, that is what I was talking about earlier with setting my, my goals.
just looked like very different.
And I've set the intention now, but I've been doing that.
I've been doing, feel really good about it, but going into 2025 really like, cause I knowwhen you get stressed too, and then someone like you said, you become the fighter and

(54:33):
someone's pushing you up against the wall and you're like, I just want to claw your eyesout sometimes.
And I'm going to not do that right now.
So things like that.
I am really trying to be the better person there.
I don't make me better.

(54:55):
Here's here's it's amazing.
This is why I love having our conversations with everybody here because my problem andthis is how maybe I can become that better person because there are those certain people
that you know are gonna say something you're always you're going in
Defensive already, you know that here on the back of your neck.

(55:18):
You're already prepared for a fight because they're going to say something stupid.
And I just like, there's been times that I just, I just have to say something back and I'mtrying to be more logical thinking or more, but it's one of those things.
It's like this year, I'm going to try to be more, a better thought.

(55:45):
have better thoughts and speak a little bit better because as you said, 10 minutes laterafter we have this conversation and walk out and I said, my God, why did I say this stuff?
And I don't want to do that because that eats me up.
Those are like little piranhas nipping at me then for like a couple of days because then Ifeel the conversation isn't over because I said some stupid stuff.

(56:09):
Mm-hmm.
those little prana's just sniffing at you, you know, just taking little bites out of you.
Just want to move on.
I do.
And there's, and I, and it's kind of like, some days I, as you guys all know, I like tohave that conversation, but I like to know the conversation's finished.
And sometimes some other people are finished the conversation and I'm still like,

(56:34):
out there in space.
Like, just wanted to finish this stuff, you know, and you may have finished it, but Ididn't.
And I just need to learn that to let some of that stuff go.
Cause if you're done talking, there's done talking.
Yeah.
It's, it's interesting.
I always see, different people.
have friends who can harbor a conversation that I will have long forgotten about thatdoesn't

(57:02):
bother me or I will have someone say something to me that was supposed to be a dig on meand I just let it go.
Never even gave light to it because clearly it didn't bother me and I've had friends digthat back up and go, well, you know, that was a dig towards you, right?
And I'm like,
Why are you still thinking about that?

(57:24):
Now I got to go back and look at it differently.
I was like, who said that?
was like, you know, things like that.
It's interesting how some people, and I think that may have to do with either growing upor maybe some sort of trauma or I don't know.
I don't have that.
So I will have friends that have to bring stuff up like, this, this really, this, I don'tfeel like we finished.

(57:45):
And I was, I will say, okay, let's.
Like I didn't know that this was so bad.
I wish people would just bring it up sooner because I will go living my life and not payany attention to things because a lot of times I'm not gonna lie some of them are very
small some things are very small and maybe it was a play on words or how it was said andI'm like, yeah, I forgot long about that.

(58:12):
Like that doesn't bother me.
They're like, wow, it was really eating at me.
I'm like
well, that's probably why we're friends.
Cause I just like, it's gone.
It's gone.
I'm not thinking about that.
but I think not harboring that stuff.
If that bothers you, then yes, bring it up.
But if you can be in the moment and just say, just take a deep breath before you say thosethings.

(58:36):
I've really worked on that and it is paid off every single time by just not saying it.
But if you know, you keep coming at me and keep coming at me and you're a jerk.
I am probably going to say something that's going to hurt your widow feelings.
But I'm not going to be back to do a quarter like that.
think people define maybe relationship or loyalty based on whether you're in conflict ornot.

(59:02):
When really loyalty and relationship with that isn't based on whether you're in conflictor not, it's based on whether you're willing to work through that conflict with that
person.
That's loyalty for you to come to me and say, we've got a problem and I need to talk aboutit.
If you don't want to be in a relationship with me because we're in conflict oversomething,

(59:25):
Wow, we're going to not be friends very long because we're not going to agree oneverything.
And so if I can figure out, yeah, if I can figure out how to have those conversations orbe open to them and encourage those who are in my circles to talk to me and communicate,
like, let's talk about it.
Don't hold on to it.
Let's talk about it.

(59:46):
And so I'm different.
I want to talk about it, get over it, move forward.
Right.
Like, boom.
I'm married to a lady who has to
Think about it.
She's an internal processor.
And so she's going to need a few days to kind of work it out and come up with the way tosay how she's feeling.

(01:00:06):
And I've got to realize that.
so in, right, in my relationships with people, we've got, we've got external or verbalprocessors and we've got internal or thinking processors mulling it over.
If I have a problem with you, Ashley, and I don't know how to talk to you about it, I'mgoing to go to Rick and talk about it to find out what his thoughts are so that
I could come to you and get done with it.

(01:00:27):
I'm going to process it verbally.
Yep.
And I do that a lot.
My wife won't go to anybody and talk about it.
She's gonna find a nice quiet place.
So you're gonna sit down, she's gonna work through it.
She might read a book or she might listen to somebody else who's got a podcast that'stalking about this issue.
And then she's gonna come to me and talk about it, right?

(01:00:48):
And that's just people, like we're built that way.
We're verbal or external processors versus internal processors.
And so if I can...
Understand that about that other person that helps right and so when it comes up I've beenthinking about this for a long time.
you're an internal processor I'm external I'm done with it

(01:01:12):
and certain times I think you process it external or internal, because I'll just straightup I've been really good with Jesse too, like as my spouse, like things, little things
that I
I've like I said, I'm very good at moving along, but I've been very good like when I knowhe stack things or things are stacking like building blocks and like, that kind of stung a

(01:01:37):
little bit or, know, or he said this, I have gone to him now and said, Hey, this happenedthis week, a couple of things, not even same day, but I can tell that there's they're
hanging out somewhere rent free in my head.
And I will just say, when you say things like that, and then they stack, I start to havelike this resentment.

(01:02:00):
And so if you can just think about it before you say things like that, because they areholding more weight than probably you even meant to give them.
I've been, and I will bring it up at the weirdest times to him where we're not even havinglike a conversation and it will just pop into my head like, yeah, I was going to tell
them.

(01:02:20):
And by doing that, I think if you do that with friendships too,
People then become aware and your communication is so much better than harboring so muchweight on you that you're like, you don't even know how much you're carrying around.
But when I've set that precedent in our marriage, it has helped immensely just to say whenthings are not fired up and you're not arguing and you're not even having a conversation

(01:02:47):
about what you're going to do next by, by saying those things.
And then I've done that with friends as well.
Like, Hey,
just so you know like when you said that did you mean it like that or like what but thatso if it does stick with me it's usually something i didn't even know was i was giving as
much weight to but i have noticed when i do figure that out if i say something it does itdoes help and it helps to not dive like the next tiff you may have between each other it

(01:03:17):
doesn't escalate because there's not a slow
Burn resentment in the background.
So, well, I guess we've learned over the whole new year resolution thing that we're justtrying to be the best people we can be.
Yeah, every day.
And we all have directions to go.

(01:03:38):
It's kind of because here's where I was going to go with the resolution thing is I thinkwe can make resolutions about being the best us.
But like you said, it's a goal.
It's not like, it's not like.
I don't think we should ever knock people for making resolutions because look at somepeople say they're going to stop smoking on January 1st and they stop.

(01:04:04):
They're done.
They set that time.
Yeah.
Some people need that hard reset.
But there's other goals like I want don't die rusty to keep building.
I mean, that's a goal.
That's not a resolution, but that's a goal.
I want it to keep getting bigger.
And I want it to start affecting more and more people.
I want

(01:04:26):
I look at a resolution sometime is like you go to a movie and it builds up to that onepoint.
We might as well talk about, say, we'll just say Rocky, you know what I mean?
And he's building up.

(01:04:46):
And when it gets to the point where he has to decide, is he going to fight or is he goingto get his butt beat?
And, and, Adrian has to say, kick his butt.
then the, that starts going.
And I think there's points in everybody's life where we get to that point where we'vejust, we've built up now is to make the decision.

(01:05:11):
Are we going to go down the hill?
Are we going to keep on climbing and then hit the top of the mountain?
And those are the decisions we make throughout this resolution thing, but it's also thebest.
The best thing is about being the best person you can be and making the good moral value,moral choices and the good values and the, and do good deeds and lift the people up around

(01:05:37):
you and, and help that circle.
The question to me is, let's like at work in anybody's work is how do you make the peoplearound you better?
You know, that's another thing to do.
And that's.
I look at people that want to be number one, but to be number one isn't truly being numberone if you aren't helping people around you be better.

(01:06:04):
You know, you can have a great quarterback, but you need the lineman or you're just, or inany game.
Do you know what I've been asking myself?
So like when in setting goals for this year too,
Anytime I have a team, like, did I lead them appropriately?

(01:06:28):
Like, is this a miscommunication on me as a leader?
Did I lead them correctly?
And then instead of like always setting, like, just give example sales goals.
And then they say, okay, set a sales goal.
Then you dwindle down all to the little things.
Honestly, I look at the clients and the customers I serve in.

(01:06:51):
number of positions, right?
I just look at it and say, did I serve them appropriately?
Because if I did, I don't like you will hit but it really comes down to that.
Like you're talking about like, am I making people better around me?
Yeah, am I serving people the way they should be?
Treat them well.
Am I working hard?

(01:07:13):
Am I, you know, the things am I managing my time to best help me and them?
things like that.
think when you really look at it down to that instead of putting, you do need those goalsand things like that with numbers or whatever it might be if you're in sales or whatever.
But when it really dials down to it, I always look at the base of that.

(01:07:38):
And then that's part of my like 2025, not resolution, but goal is to be the best I can belike really choose words, be open minded.
You know, things like that.
Like that's how I bring it full circle versus having, oh, in 2025, this like resolution.

(01:08:05):
What do you think, Kelly?
We're both looking at him like, you got something to say.
well, I, the, the greatest people that we know, like these big names that we hear, thesepeople that really impacted the world, they figured out how to elevate others around them,

(01:08:27):
right?
How to lift them up.
And they realize, I believe this, they realized they could not do it on their own.
Like they couldn't do it all by themselves.
And so when we, when we talk about great, even historical figures or just whoever thatmight be, like, you used athletics Rick.

(01:08:48):
So I'm going to use like Larry bird.
Most people don't know the stat about Larry bird, but before he went to the Celtics, theyweren't even 500.
And then next year they were in the conference.
Championship the his first year.
Right.
He had a way of elevating those people around him.

(01:09:08):
magic Johnson's the same way.
I would say Michael Jordan was the same way.
He just looked at some of these basketball players that could do that.
if you start talking about like people, so Elon Musk didn't get where he's at all byhimself.
There were people that, that, that poured into him.
There was a group of them and then he, he elevated and he's elevating people around himall the time.

(01:09:31):
You could say the same for Donald Trump.
You could say the same for Bill Gates.
You don't have to agree with their life philosophies, but the bottom line is they figuredout how to elevate the people around them.
Right?
Yeah, and that's where I think more people need to go.
Can we do that with the people that we influence?

(01:09:52):
I think if we set that as a goal, like how can I elevate those people around me?
And a lot of times it's really simple stuff.
The serving idea, coming in focused, coming in ready to go, coming in as an example,showing them, communicating with them what's expected, right?
Like those are ways to help elevate others around us, pouring into them.

(01:10:17):
the term is servant leader and it's two words that you bring together and you're like,well, those don't seem like they should fit.
But if, if we can figure out how to be a servant leader, then we're going to, we're goingto elevate people around me.
And this is the best way to look at it.
think I remember being out on the prairie above Belfouche and I ran into this guy on ahorse.

(01:10:42):
I was hunting antelope.
He was on a horse with a dog.
And they were moving probably 200 head of sheep.
And that dog was busy, man, going back and forth, going back and forth.
And that guy was on his horse, going back and forth, going back and forth, pushing thesesheep.
And then I remember being in Montana and I ran into a guy who didn't have a dog.

(01:11:07):
He had a walking stick and wherever he went, the sheep followed him.
Hmm.
He didn't have to drive them.
They followed him.
And I asked tons of questions, you know, and he told me he took his philosophy from theMiddle Eastern way of herding sheep.

(01:11:28):
And I go, well, what does that mean?
Right.
And he goes, well, you keep the older use as long as you can, because the older use willteach the lambs you're the one to follow.
And if I can pour into those sheep and teach them.
they'll pour into the next generation and the next generation.
And then the sheep just follow me wherever I go.

(01:11:49):
I put oil on there and antibiotics on their cuts.
I find them water that's not bad.
I'll take them to new pastures.
They follow me.
And I'm that's crazy, right?
So there's a difference between the way Europe and Asia handle sheep.
And let's go to Western folks from America.

(01:12:13):
I want to be the person that serves in such a way that people see me as a leader, notbecause I drive them to get to a place or to finish a goal, but because I'm serving them
along the way as we get there.
That's a huge difference.
Right.
So that's kind of my definition.
I use that story as that definition for leadership, servant leadership and what it lookslike.

(01:12:39):
The old, the old.
Middle Eastern shepherds, they lived with those sheep all the time.
So we just came out of Christmas and we hear about the angels singing on high and tellthem the shepherds who were with their sheep.
Well, they were with the flocks.
Why?
That's where they lived.
They spent all their time with those sheep and those sheep weren't yearlings ortwo-year-olds or three-year-olds.

(01:13:05):
Most of the sheep were six, seven, eight, and they knew their shepherd.
Jesus talks about his relationship with us that way, separate in sheep.
My sheep know my voice.
Why?
Because I've been with them and I serve them and I love them.
And it's crazy.
Like when you start thinking about the way we impact others, are we driving them or are weleading them?

(01:13:31):
Well, once again, words of wisdom from Kelly.
Exactly.
Yes, because, know, I those are the things that just hit me hard.
You know, I go through the I go through the.
The episode when I met it and I go, dang, I needed to hear that again.

(01:13:53):
Yeah, you know, you bring up that this is why I love having these Kelly is because you.
You get me thinking about this and you get other people thinking about it.
Now I'm, I'm off in space here a little bit, but no, thank you so much.
Cause that's why I'm happy to have you call your friend too.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, God brings us together for a reason, right?

(01:14:16):
They did.
Yeah, he does.
So, so am I, I'm going to let you guys go here.
I'm going to ask you though, just give us, give us a little insight and some goals for theyear.
And cause I know what the good life is.
We've talked about it a few times.

(01:14:36):
Maybe some other time we'll talk about the good life.
What's a good life, but let's since this is a new year's episode, let's think about.
some goals that you might wanna, we can share with other people.
You don't have to tell me other goals, you know, that you don't wanna share with anybody.
But what direction do we wanna go?

(01:14:58):
Well, I said that I wanna try and be the best person by right, watching the filter, allthose things.
That was one.
Traveling, I said that.
And healthier, I'm just.
really diving in into like things that I can do better, whether that's physically oreliminating something from the list of foods or whatever.

(01:15:26):
Those are just a few things.
Yeah.
How about you, Kelly?
I want to, my goal, one of my goals is just been more time building relationships,starting with family, my son-in-laws, my kids.
And then this is, it sounds kind of resolutionary, but it's not.

(01:15:50):
I wanna create five new relationships with people that just are looking for help.
Like they come to me if they're willing to have
this year five new relationships I can pour into to help people in whatever area of theirlife they're needing help.
And then just personally, I need to eat better.

(01:16:12):
I, I, I'm one of my goals is to begin to eat better and then to become more active.
I need to be more active.
Well, for me, it's always to become the best person that I can be.
And by doing that, like I said, I want to put down the technology and read more.

(01:16:37):
My problem is you sit down and you watch a little TV or you scroll on your phone and it'slike a half hour later, I could have been reading a book.
Mm.
Don't want, I want to change that part.
I want to keep on finding, I'd like to find five new guests that can influence me more.

(01:17:02):
mean, I use your five, but I actually need to find, I actually need to use find 52 gueststo keep influencing me.
But, but, but, know, and then I want to, I want to lift the people up around me.
I want to.

(01:17:22):
I actually want to go hunting with my camera a little bit more in the summer and springand a little bit in the fall if I don't have a license because I think that brings me
peace.
And I want to work on relationships internally and externally.

(01:17:44):
I mean that like try to...
keep strengthening my relationship with my wife and my friends around me and not be afraidto say, they're busy.
So I'm not going to call them or text them, you know, kind of that.
we don't overthink it.
Just do it.
But I'm happy though, because when we talked about it earlier, I am that external thinkerwhere I will go ask your advice.

(01:18:10):
And because I do know when I say too much or not enough in
How do you think somebody felt like that?
Even though I've said things, something stupidly that I think was stupid, you know, likemaybe they took it in the wrong context when I wasn't trying to be snarky, but maybe it

(01:18:30):
came across as snarky.
But I'm, I'm, I want to, I had a guy that I worked with, he just retired and him and Iwould have these
long conversations like once a week in his office, just going back and forth about life,about God, about everything.

(01:18:58):
And I enjoyed those conversations.
So I hope we can, he retired, but I hope we can, he stops being so energetic now that he'sretired and we can start having these conversations, cause he's never home now for a
while.
You know, and I'd like to, like to.
I'd like to do some stuff with my dad.
You know, I mean, he's, he's, he's busy, but that's the way it is.

(01:19:24):
And, just, just go see things and do a more traveling.
Like I said, and, um, I think Cindy and I are going to go out to see the elk in the refugeand, and do something different, do you know?
Like you were talking about being open-minded, I want to be out of the box traveling too.

(01:19:47):
Like do something uncomfortable, do something.
not so uncomfortable, but go to places that I normally wouldn't.
I'm not saying I want to really go to.
At this time, I really don't want to go to cities, but I'd rather go to someplace maybethat I haven't thought of.
just saw like, I think it was in Mo in the Moab area or Bryce Canyon or somewhere.

(01:20:13):
I'd like to go on some hikes down where I normally wouldn't go.
The reason I'm saying where I normally wouldn't go is I wouldn't go to these placesbecause there was no end result as I'm not going hunting.
There's always a hunting trip at the end of the, and now let's just go to enjoy the area.

(01:20:40):
That there's an end result.
The end result is feeling good about yourself and the people you are with.
And I, and I've saved up, I'm able to roll over a little more vacation time this year.
So I can go do that.
That's what was my main goal of some of the stuff is like rolling over a little morevacation time to go.

(01:21:02):
And I, I'm not one of those people that likes to, like a two week trip is long for mebecause
I love being home too, you know what I mean?
Like a long weekend is a good time for me to go somewhere and enjoy it and then come back.

(01:21:22):
But those are things I want to do to, and I want to do with many people.
Because I want to enjoy the life that we have with so many people and...
enjoy these adventures and enjoy the time and the conversation.

(01:21:42):
And I keep on, I personally keep on like, just really want to have these coolconversations and improve myself by thinking out of the box, like how you think Kelly and
how you think Ashley and, and how this other person thinks.
And, and then when they come up and tell you like,

(01:22:05):
You made me think, and then we have a conversation that is some of the most awesomeconversations you can have.
So I hope we go in those directions.
You know, I hope, I hope life goes good.
Well, I don't think we need to talk about the good life.
Cause I think we all, well, you guys were more extensive.
I didn't know how we needed to be here, but you talked about it because all the time we'vetalked about surrounding yourself with good people and spending time with them and.

(01:22:31):
know, working hard and playing hard.
That is the good life.
And you just, that's wrapped up into 2025.
Now we're just going to do it.
It is.
And you know, you know how you can improve your life.
You can go have a long conversation in Oaks, North Dakota with Kelly.
Absolutely.
I didn't know where this was going.

(01:22:55):
I was like, where are we going?
I'm telling you, we should, we were going to have to set this up.
That would be a lot of fun.
There's nothing like being in person.
No.
And it, you know, I mean, we might have to do it, you know, when it's not like 50 below inNorth Dakota and the wind snow blowing.

(01:23:16):
can't do that.
Yeah, I've been in Fargo one time where it was that cold and I was like, how does anybody,anybody do this?
This is mind blowing.
Yeah.
your breath away.
Can't move.
Don't want to leave the house, you know?

(01:23:38):
So, well, I want to thank I want to thank the Rick Tastic for being with me tonight andand I want to tell our thank you because I want to tell our listeners, know, this is going
to be a regular thing if I can get some or if you guys can tell me some cool thoughts to.

(01:24:01):
have conversations about, you like you came to me about the relationship one, I had the 24hours to live one and that's kind of hit a few people more than I thought it would.
Yeah.
Because we had great conversations there and all the conversations we have, I'm going totell you, I think I told you maybe before, but over the holidays, had friends that and

(01:24:25):
listeners that were traveling and they listened to our conversation.
said,
Some of the ones that we had in the 24 hours live was one of the ones that we really had alot of contact, a lot of conversation about.
And they said, you guys need to talk a little bit more.
You know, I mean, cause we, we come out of left, you know, we have so many differentperspectives and nobody is trying to over talk anybody, you know, that we have a good

(01:24:54):
conversation and people enjoy that.
So.
They can think of the box too.
So I want to thank you guys.
You know, the rec tactics are doing some rec tactics stuff.
That's awesome.
Well, I do.
like having these conversations and it's, and then when you have it like out in public,because we've had it, it does seem like people aren't scared to bring up something that

(01:25:17):
you would never bring up ever in a normal conversation.
It's like, Hey,
I heard you guys talking about this.
I would like to ask you about that.
And that is really cool to me because that way if I can, like, if we can have aconversation or just make someone feel better, whatever it might be, or have them think, I

(01:25:39):
did this differently within this relationship.
That's huge.
Like I said, it only takes one.
only takes one.
It does.
Yeah.
For one, is.
It is.
So thank you guys for
these stimulating conversations and we're going to have a lot more through 2025.
So that's my goal.
There's the goal.

(01:26:01):
So yeah.
right.
Well, don't die rusty family.
Keep chasing your dreams, being the best you and of course, don't die rusty.
Thank you guys.
Well, thank you.
think.