November 9, 2025 • 52 mins
In this episode, we meet Nile Dawta, a reggae singer, songwriter, producer, and gender activist from Shauri Moyo. Her story is a moving journey through identity, purpose, and spiritual awakening. She shares how growing up next to Kamukunji Grounds shaped her activism, how she walked away from a stable job to follow her music, and how heartbreak, loss, and ancestral connection led her back to herself. This story beautifully reminds us that healing and creativity often flow from the same source: the ancestors who walk with us.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is adele On Younger and welcome to another
episode of Legally Clueless. No, seriously, i have no clue
what I'm doing, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the
only one. Hey you welcome to episode three hundred and
fifty one of Legally Clueless. And this is what's coming up.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I used to hate my African name, by the way,
for the longest time. I used to not like Akinnie.
I have people who have questioned me, and it still
happens a lot of times, like I go to places
and I say I am akinni Onyach and they ask me,
what is your English name? And now that statement even
makes me cringe, like I'm not English, so why should
(00:43):
I have an English name? You know? I met this
guy who was a producer. We fell in love and
then we created a lot of music. After I quit work,
went and tried to cohabit with my producer lover. My
grandmother was a singer. I never met her, and I'm
named after her, and she used to sing a lot
(01:03):
in the church. Has spirit and her energy is very
potent in me in how I move, in how I
do my things, in how I see the earth, how
I see the world, crazy, but we are really in communication.
Me and her a lot. I can't even explain it,
Like she's on my altar and with Chill a lot.
We talk a lot, She guides me a lot, her energy,
(01:26):
I feel her a lot. Some things are ancestral where
I come from. It's called jogi is like spirits is.
I don't know how to explain it, but it's like
a possession.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
That is Nile daughter story. I hope I'm pronouncing it
right because it's spelled dawta daughta. I feel like I'm
not saying it with enough swag. But her story is
super inspiring and it's coming away a little later in
this episode. Welcome, Welcome to the family. If this is
your first time listening, you are appreciated and you've picked
(01:59):
an incredible apps to kick off your legally clueless journey.
And of course our shows are so many. This one
goes out every single Monday and has different Africans come
through and share their stories. On Wednesdays, it's just you
and I on the Midwick T's and I share things
that I feel have helped me on my healing journey
(02:19):
and I feel could help you too. Also on Wednesdays,
our newsletter goes out, so make sure you sign up
for it on our website linked in the show notes.
And then on Thursday this week, a brand new season
of Four Mannerless Women starts both here our audio space
and on our YouTube channel, so make sure you sign up,
(02:43):
sign up, subscribe to our YouTube channel. It's linked in
the show notes. I can't wait for you to see
who is in episode one. It's definitely one of the
most powerful conversations I have had yet. If you are
an African woman on a journey of releasing shame from
(03:08):
your life and liberating yourself, you're gonna love that episode.
So yeah, see them three starts lists. They are very
excited about that, and on Fridays we have ask a Therapist,
so as you can see, it's a full house here
and we're all about connecting with each other through our
stories and just intentionally walking our healing journeys. If you
(03:30):
are an OG member, I will never stop saying this.
I truly appreciate you. So before we jump into Nile
Daughter's story, I do want to shout out everybody who
drops comments on our episodes and just thank you for
taking the time to type out your feelings. Your encouragement.
(03:51):
I love it. I want to address and remind those
who are probably new to the legally clueless space exactly
what we stand for. This week, we got a message
or a comment rather from Irene week Ali, who was
feeling a bit conflicted I feel about last week's story,
saying she doesn't know how she felt about it. So
(04:11):
Irene was kind of sharing a sentiment wondering what the
story was supposed to accomplish. So let me break it
down for you. Okay, every single storyteller who comes on
the platform does an incredible thing. They open up and
agree to be vulnerable with you and I. That is incredible,
(04:32):
and not many of us have the courage to do that.
That's one number two. The stories shared are of lived experiences.
They're not a manual. They are not setting out on
a performative journey. It's people allowing us into chapters of
their lives. So some of the stories are happening as
(04:53):
the person is sharing. Some happened a long time but
are unresolved. Some may be resolved or not yet. So
don't think about this as though you're watching a series. No,
you are being very graciously allowed into somebody's lived experience
(05:13):
and why I think this is so important to the
point that a huge chunk of our network and the
space is built on that is I don't think we
have enough empathy in this world. I don't think we
have enough expansion to allow for many truths to sit
besides each other. And I think how we achieve that
(05:35):
expansion and that empathy is through stories. For example, before
we got all of our incredible, legally clueless correspondence who
go out and record our stories, I did a lot
of the recordings. It expanded me. I on many occasions
had to sit opposite people whose truths were very different
(05:57):
from mine, and I had to afford them grace and respect.
By the end of the recordings, I had expanded, I
had learned something I didn't know. And the funny thing is,
whenever we're confronted with the truth that is different from ours,
we think it's going to threaten ours. What happened to
me was the complete opposite. In understanding that this world
(06:20):
is made of different people who are walking around with
different truths. It made me more confident in my own truth. Yeah,
I just never felt threatened. And so the number one
important person on this show is a storyteller because you
know it just as I do. It is not easy
(06:44):
to open up and let in people to different chapters
of your life. What I hope hearing all of these
stories does for you and I is bring back empathy
that I feel like the world needs more of. I
hope it spans you and I and I also hope
it makes us less judgmental, even of the things we
(07:06):
don't understand. Yeah, but sending you love and thanks for
sharing your sentiments, and I encourage you to keep doing that.
This is what this community is about. Openness and vulnerability.
Find a way this week to bring back empathy and
erase judgment.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Okay, let's jump into one hundred African stories. So you're
about to meet Nile Daughter, who's just her energy, is everything, singer,
somewhat producer, gender activist or should I say arttivist, and
her journey takes us through her love for reggae, bold decisions,
(07:48):
and even spirituality. One hundred African stories are legally clueless
stories from Africa.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
My name is Nile Daughter, and I like to say
representing for all the regular lovers and the reggae dadas.
I'm a singer songwriter, producer, a DJ, and also a
gender activist. So by gender artivists it means I combine
my work my art for gender activism. Born and raised
(08:24):
in Shoi Moyo Islands area, the origins are from nam Lului,
which is famously known as Lake Victoria. I call myself
the Nile Daughter because I originate from the source of
the Nile, which is Lake Victoria, and my ancestors also
originated from these settings. So I'm a Nile daughter. But
(08:48):
my official names are Akini Onyach. I have an English name,
but I'm not English, so I'm not gonna use it.
Moving on. I stopped using my English name so long ago, actually,
probably maybe in the last like four or five, three
years maybe. And it's funny because I used to I
(09:10):
love it. By the way, I love it, it's my other persona.
It's I have different personas that is one of them.
I used to hate my African name, by the way,
for the longest time, I used to not like Akinni.
And then I met this friend of mine who was
visiting Kenya and they were like a Kennie a Kenye.
(09:32):
I'm like, this guy, can you not just call me
with my other names everybody. I have a creative name,
I have an artist's name, I have all these names.
You just used to call me a Kini. And then
he sat me down and he was like, you know,
like there's something about African names, and then I call
you like this, there's a representation to eat and these
echoes to that, and so within that and also just
(09:53):
coming to find myself as an African woman and as
a creative as well. I think over time it just
faded away and everywhere I go, either I'll introduce myself
as Nile daughter or a Kinnie. I have people who
have questioned me, and it still happens a lot of times,
Like I go to places and I say I am
a Kini on yach and they ask me what is
(10:14):
your English name? And now that statement even makes me cringe,
like I'm not English, so why should I have an
English name? You know? So I've had that happening a lot.
But I will never, can never and won't give you
my English name. If a kin is not okay for you,
(10:35):
take Nile daughter. If that is not okay, that's it.
So I think one of my pivotal moments as I
was growing up in chow Remoo and which might have
shaped the type of work that I do and the
kind of things that I gravitate to, especially with regards
to activism. Is where I was born. It was just
next to come Quency Grounds. So com Quenji Grounds was
(10:58):
the hotbed during multiplism in Kenya during Saba Saba period,
and we all know what used to happen, like there
used to be a lot of just like the Manda
manners that were happening last year, you know, for Kenya
to be a multi party state. And so when I
was growing up, I remember very well because Saba Saba
is also my birthday. So I used to ask myself
and ask my mom, like mom, why is it that
(11:20):
every time my birthday is happening, there's tia gas and
KOs and running battles, and like why what is this thing?
You know, like a bad day is supposed to be nice,
but that is the day that your teens the environment
is gloomy, there's tia gas all over the place because
these meetings used to happen at Kamcunji grounds. And so
I think having seen that when I was growing up
(11:42):
and for so many years, it instilled kind of like
a fighter spirit in me, like a warrior type of spirit.
And the best way that I know how to express
this is through my work through my art. Saba Saba
is very significant to me because it was my oarth
day and also the day that Ma and all these
(12:03):
scales used to happen. Oh my goodness, I'm solf blessed.
I think why I also gravitated towards activism was because
of the class divisions that I saw, like where I
was coming from, it was the hood to was the
gato to experience a different type of life, especially when
I went to high school and men as. That also
just just the disparity, like you're living in Showymorio. We
(12:25):
didn't have bathrooms woga when you remember you want to shower,
my goodness, where and then you remember you want to
go for a long call. So what used to happen
is there was like two options either. But how we
used to shower was you know, our houses were like
a ten by ten space, so that is everything the
(12:47):
sitting room, the living room, everything inside that house. And
then we used to have like a central public space
that public toilet, which never used to work because they
were blocked. Since I was a child all year around,
like thinking of going to that. That was very dramatic.
So now what used to happen is the next word?
How do you even call it? Like you cross like
this road and then you go to the next almost
(13:09):
like it's not a village, but the next section of
the estate. To take a shower on that side, because
that side the bathrooms used to work and they used
to have running water. But it's Comelion bathrooms. But then
when you remember you want to go for a long call,
a short call, yo yo, we thank God for whoever
introduced fresh toilets in the hood. It was serious like that.
(13:31):
And then you can imagine at night and it's the
hood and your stoppak, you have a running stomach. Let's
not go into theies that you see. So coming from
a place where basic human needs, basic human decency was
not even possible, and then going to high school and
having a toilet facilities, you understand. So it kind of
(13:53):
was like okay, Corney, where am I coming from? You know,
like where have I been all my life? Like what
type of life have I been living? So that was
your remoal so, and then with that and then experiencing
now this saba type of energy. I think it was
all just preparing me for something that I even myself
did not know at the time. I think my dad,
(14:17):
despite the fact that we grew up in the hood,
my dad had always kind of socialized us in some way,
like had taught us in that because my dad used
to work. My dad was a driver, has been a
driver his entire life, so him traveling and seeing new things.
When he came back home, he would come with a
recipe and it doesn't matter, like panga conio. He'll go
(14:40):
and buy atakama nio and yama nusu ama quota and
we'll try that new recipe. And he'll be teaching us
how to use you know, a folk. And he was
really socializing us in a way, just like to not
be shocked about not be shocked about the world. I
remember if he used to like get some little money,
he would take us to like you know those times
(15:00):
kids were allowed in pubs. So he would take us
by us a fanta, that big funta, thee the orange
funta with my brother and someone. You go there some
groundnuts and we're eating and him is having his one beer.
So that we could just see life. You know, like,
so I've been going to high school. As much as
it was a culture shock and like there was a
shock of every other thing, I still was able to
(15:23):
act cool. You know that won't fake it till you
make it. You're like, ah, but you know where you're
coming from. You're acting cool like aye, but deep down
there's that guy imposter syndrome. Yeah, but you don't show
it because also I went to school outside of Nairobi,
so the fact that you're coming from Nairobi also was
(15:43):
like a status of it on its own, but now
meeting like new facilities and all these things. So I
think my dad did a good job in trying to
help us socialize easy with the world. And I think
when people from Eastlands like can pretty much survive almost anyway.
I don't know how true that is, but I think
we've experienced all bits and parts of life that it's
(16:06):
able to acclamate to whatever weather. In high school, my
activism side didn't come out much. What came out was
my artist's side. So that is when I joined the
CEO the Christian Union, and then through there there was
this lady who used to sing. I was informal and
she was informed for and she used to sing my
goodness like what Molly would sing. She was now leaving school,
(16:29):
she was exiting. So now you're asking ourselves. Now we's
going to chair prison worship and praises. And I don't
know if I just felt like somebody needed to fill
that gap. So I went home during the holidays and
then I was passing through Murdura those times there were
those CDs or fifty both where they have like an
album of pirated albums. So I bought a Macormas CD.
(16:51):
Do you remember macam Watch a Macommas CD. And then
I went home and then I practiced. I practiced, I practiced.
I practiced with that, with that CD. So when we're
opening backs school, I didn't even know like I could
sing pa. I didn't know like there was a singing
bone in me, but I knew I always gravitated towards music,
towards I had those books where you write lyrics every
(17:12):
certain day, you collected the Nation newspaper and put lyrics.
I had a whole book and would fight with my
mom like why can't you have a book of mathematics
like this, and you have a whole books another book
of lyrics you know. So then after practicing for like
a whole holiday, a whole December holiday, went back to school.
Now I was informed to Molly had left by chance.
(17:32):
I just started singing during the praise and worship and
guys were like, hey, Cumber, you can sing. And I
was like, hey, Cumber, I can sing, okay, And then
I was asked to lead another one and then and
that is how I ended up even like activities that
involved creativity and things like that. So in high school
it was more of finding my voice. So from high school,
(17:54):
how does life move on? I finished high school, I
go to UNI. Now I know I can sing that
I'm not doing anything with it. God called to do
actuial science. I did that. But in the process of
my schoolwork, I bump into a group called Coffee. So
Coffee was Tuesday curated nice artistic events where guys would
(18:15):
come and show case poetry. And this was at the
University of Eldoret. So guys would come and present nice
pieces of poetry acoustic sessions. And then I met a
classmate who used to play a bass guitar. I did
know this at this time. We met in the coffee sessions.
So he's like I had you can sing. So my
boyfriend at the time was telling everybody that my girlfriend,
(18:38):
I don't know why you know. And he used to
tell me that you can think, that you can think.
Can you try this? Just try it? And then he
tried to because he knew this classmate used to play
the guitar at the bass guitar, so he wanted to
connect the two of us. So we meet up and
introduces me to other friends and then we ended up
creating together. Throughout my university days, apart from being in school,
(19:00):
I was either in studio doing background vocals for somebody,
or in a band with these friends and classmates trying
to create music, or just jamming with music basically and
just having fun with it. And then we ended up
doing a couple of pieces. Well, I ended up doing
a couple of pieces of music, and then school ended,
(19:21):
and after school ended, I had to come back home
and to start now living a normal life. I've gone
to school, so now I need to start earning money.
So I get my first internship. I was working for
some Indian guy in Kiirnagar Ud That was like the
most horrific time of my life. This guy would shout
(19:41):
for no apparent reason, shouting like you entered the office
and your tenth the entire time until you leave. This
guy was I did it for two months and I
told my mom, you know what me, I don't have
children that I'm feeding. I don't have so much responsibilities
that I have to stay in this type of environment.
Then did a couple of internships here and there, here
(20:02):
and there, and then eventually I got into what I
started was underwriting pretty much, so I got into insurance.
So did that for like four years. The long story
of it is I quit again. Why they urged to
quit again after like getting a stable job pensionable. My
parents were proud of me because I started at an
internship LA level, did my six months, got to like
(20:26):
a junior claims officer, did another one year, got to underwriting,
so like I was progressing very nicely. My salary was
like increasing poly poly. My dad was really proud, you know.
And now my salary is pensionable. I have an S
and HIF, I have a medical cover, like you know,
(20:47):
now I'm setting myself up for life. But I was
there was always something that felt a miss, especially wearing
sorry for guys who work in offices, some of us
need to be in offices. Some of us we can't
all fit the offices. And I was the percentage that
could not fit in the office because from my style,
my hair, how it went to it was very gloomy
(21:10):
in the office. And apart from that, it something just
felt off. And I had already created music. And then
previously one of my internships was around things to do
with young people and finding your voice. So I had
already done that for like maybe three months, and I
had seen how young people were discovering their voices and
these things. But I'm now stuck in an office for
(21:33):
close to four years. I have music, and I was
keeping work every now and then go and play music.
I met this guy who was a producer. We fell
in love, and then we created a lot of music
in the process. In the process of making love, we
made music, a lot of good music. And then I
had so much music. I was like, this is good, man,
(21:56):
I can now live like this is so during the
week and like my time off and the time I
used to go see him and spread at his place,
we're making music. I think now that made me fall
in love with music even the more, because like seeing
someone and adoring them and then seeing what you guys
can go create together by and then creating good music.
So he was like, this is it this eight two five?
(22:19):
Don't see it happening anymore. So one day, skip work again,
going to this my two shows in the afternoon, and
then I was given I was given a warning letter.
And then I was like, you guys, even before you
were done giving me anything letters, I had drafted my
resignation like two months ago. It was just there on
my desktop. I was looking at it every day. Hey,
I woke up that day and saved them though, countersap
(22:43):
them with my resignation letter. And that is how I
did my I saved for like another man, and I left.
I had some money and a boyfriend making. I had
love music and a bit of savings. I was literally
clueless for sure. Oh my word, that was my exit plan.
So yeah, I e quit my job, didn't tell my
(23:05):
parents for a year, and then when my dad found out,
he didn't speak to me for a good while. But
I can't understand why he didn't speak to me for
a good while, Like coming for a while. We're coming
from and having struggled to put a child through school
and now they've gotten a good job and you know
they're able to like make something of themselves, and they're
choosing this part that you don't even understand. You know,
it's it's daunting, too apparent. After I quit work, went
(23:27):
and tried to cohabit with my producer lover, I invited
myself to his house because then in my head like, see,
this is the next plan. Now we've been doing music,
we've gotten bits and pieces of shows, so when if
we packet this thing properly and give it the right
energy to me, those are not the plans he had.
(23:48):
So that didn't work out. I don't know his plans.
What were he just the fact that we even tried
to stay together for two months was just too much
for the both of us. It didn't work out. Like
it was nice when you were seeing each other not
so often. But now I didn't have a place to go.
I didn't have like an eight to five. Yes, I
had savings, but I didn't want to go and drink
and finish on my savings. So I was like, I'm
gonna move in with you and then we're gonna figure
(24:10):
this thing out. And then I guess that is where
now everybody just started showing their true colors and it
stopped being nice, stopped being fun. I was like, yo,
I can't continue living like this. And then I told
my brother and my best friend at the time, and
my brother told me, you don't worry, you just let
me know what you decide, and we go from there.
My best friend told me to food andbsies went and
(24:31):
looked for our house. My brother came with his pickup
and the little money had. We packed all my things
from his house and lifts went to start life. But
at that point I went into depression because I had
no idea what I was gonna do next, because all
my music was associated with this person. So now we're
not into contact and I still love him. My heart
is breaking and my hat is breaking also for the music.
(24:54):
And I thought I had figured this out because I
quit a well paying job to do music. And my
parents don't know. Only my brother knows. They think I
wake up and go to work because I was already
I had already moved out of home, so they have
no idea. So the only people who know is my brother.
Mind you, it's I'm the first one, so he's younger
than me. But that is my solid drop for ages.
(25:14):
I'm paying rent now, but clearly I'm depleting my savings.
So then I end up needing to do other things
to make ends meet. So I get into writing and transcriptions,
but it's not making a lot of money. Plus the
time I was spending on it was so much, and
I'm not now creating the music. And I don't even
have this music because this guy has refused to give
(25:36):
me the music, and he's saying if I'm not with him,
then I cannot do that music by myself, so I
have nothing. Why was he refusing with my music? I
think also for him from a perspective of the time,
the work that we had put in and for me
to just collect it and go. So he needed to
show me like bro. So his terms were either I
(25:57):
pay him for the production work he's done for me
to give me everything, or I forget about everything. But
I don't have this money. It's not like I'm working.
So I had to come clean to my parents. I
told them what was going on. By this time, I
was so depressed. I was so so depressed, and then
I just like packed up and went to live with
my maternal grandmother in the village. I just went and
(26:19):
stayed with my grandfather. I was really depressed. I think
the only constant thing and since I found music was music.
And so now somebody's telling me, like all the work
I've put in, I can't use it, I can't do
nothing with it. And then there were also somebody that
I really loved. So my heart is breaking twice. So
I was just like Minendo Chago, you know, literally Nita
(26:42):
and au Chago used to wake up and just chill
like the tree. And my grandmother never told me anything.
She never said nothing. She didn't talk. She was just
looking at me, you know, like those episodes where you're
just like Sana do Nanda, what direction am I taking
with my life? My savings are almost over because I've
been even for like a year plus. Yeah, So we
(27:02):
were just steeling there. She's the one feeding me. I
should be the one helping her out. I was there
for close to like three months maybe, and then the
music found me again. She was like, Nile daughter, pick
yourself up, baby, No this is not you know, if
we made that, we can make it again. To Rudy Nairobi,
came back to came back to Nairobi and then my
(27:23):
grandmother was kind of like the mediator between me and
my folks. Yeah, she tried talking to my dad and
was like, this child, she's not using drugs, She's just
following what she likes. She has no idea still, but
just like, just give her the grise. Came back to Nairobi.
My brother was actually helping me pay part of the rent.
So I had not moved out from my place, so
(27:44):
I was paying some of it. He was paying some
of it. So went back to my place and then
I was like, you know what, this guy, I'm gonna
show him I had some bit of money here and there.
I remembered Danielle was my bassist who we were in
the same class with campus. So I reach out to
daniel I told him I have some music that I
would love now to play, to put up a band
(28:06):
together and do something. And then daniel tells me out.
But you remember also Sammy, my brother, is a guitarist,
So let's reach out to Sammy and see if we
can work something out. We reach out to some and
Samy's like, it's reggae music, let's do it. And then
I reach out to another friend, who reaches out to
another friend, and by the time the week is over,
I have a full band and I'm not even paying anybody.
(28:27):
Everybody is just excited to like do this thing with me,
and so we come together. We start rehearsals for like
a month, and then my parents eventually agree to support kidogo,
so they pay part of the rehearsals and things like this,
and then we put up a show. We put up
a show off, like by the end of that month,
we gave ourselves a target, We're gonna put up a show.
(28:49):
And the turnout was amazing, Like everybody I knew you
were making phone calls to friends and family and everybody
in the band just trying to get five with ten people.
And we played our first show, Power two five four
back when it was at the rooftop somewhere in State
House Road. That was so affirming to me, so affirming.
(29:11):
It gave me a list of new life, Like the
life and the energy that was pumped back in me
again was like whoa that is now when I professionally
became a musician from that point on. So why reggae
music is because this ex love of mine introduced me
to reggae music. And then when I started analyzing reggae
(29:31):
music gave me a sense of identity as a black woman.
Pluss the music. He introduced me to a lot of
Rastafarai teachings. He introduced me to a lot of self
awareness as a black woman and a lot of reasonings.
And so when I met these reasonings plus the type
of music that I was already creating, it made perfect synergy,
(29:52):
like perfect sync. It made perfect sync. And because I
used to go to studio and guys are telling me,
we need to to write a song that is like
hypen this, and my music is very chilled, very slow,
very provocative also like in terms of reasonings and thematic
areas that I use, Like my first song that I
wrote was about Like the first song that I wrote
(30:14):
was about political unrest in the country. That has always
been like the type of work that I gravitated towards.
So when I met reggae music, it singed perfectly with
how I was now understanding myself as a woman, as
a Black woman and as a black creative class. The
drama and bass and the lyrics, who sets me on
(30:35):
a whole frequency? And that's peace My first piece hoart
did that come about? I just heard two words, and
I wrote a song and the two wards where I
don't want to be period. So the lyrics are like,
I don't want to be where you are. I don't
want to stand where you stand because everything that you're
preaching is lies. You know, it's about politicians and all
(30:56):
these things. I tell us every day. Part of the
videography was from under Mano from Sabastabaway. Guys were being
beat with these big clovers and things like this. So
I think it has always been inside me. It's it's
not something I try to look for. It's just it
comes very easy, comes very easy. When I write music
that is towards a certain course comes so easy to me.
(31:18):
At what point does it start to make financial sense?
I think sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't until today
and they're still trying to breed that gap. But slowly,
slowly is making sense. I wouldn't say I've always done
this music because it paid me. I think I've done
it number one also, and why I call myself an
(31:39):
a daughter. So my grandmother was a singer. I never
met her, and I'm named after her, and she used
to sing a lot in the church. Has spirit and
her energy. It's very important in me, in how I move,
in how I do my things, in how I see
the earth, how I see the world. And we crazy,
(31:59):
but we are really in communication. Me and her a lot.
I can't even explain it. Like she's on my altar
and we chill a lot, we talk a lot. She
guides me a lot, her energy. I feel her a lot.
I get goosebums when I start talking about her. So
it's these things that you can't explain, but it's part
of you. It's part of your DNA, your structure, and
(32:21):
your makeup. She's part of my makeup. And I never
met her. And actually that is the point where my
dad stopped bagging me about music, because I told her,
like you should have picked another name before you named
me your mom. She will let me rest in peace
because now I have to do these things and I
have to create music. I have to like it's in
like it's it's a bagging feelings, like there is something
(32:42):
you need to do. There is something you need to do,
and it's just at the back of my head. And
until I do it, I have no peace. So some things,
like some things are ancestral where I come from. It's
called Jogi is like spirits is. I don't know how
to explain it, but it's like a possession. Was I
(33:03):
where was I digressing? But to give you context as
to why music has ever been about money for me?
How maybe the easiest way to put it would be,
like my hands look like my mom's, and her hands
would look like her moms. You understand. So it's it's
a genetic imprint. Just because somebody has transitioned to become
(33:24):
an ancestor does not mean that their genetic memory does
not exist in me or in the generations after this person.
They say, like my ovaries, the ovaries of my grandchildren
already in Like I have three generations too. You call
it over and over again, so then that over is
(33:45):
still manifested in me. Like these things they are there,
you know, you know, And that is how it is.
Genetic memory, genetic imprints, And it's just honoring and appreciation
of our lineages and where we come from. And it
doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. It is
an army of people and things and places that we
(34:08):
can use to our advantage. It's just knowing how to
tap into that. And so my grandmother is a pivotal,
pivotal part of my journey and of my creative process.
So music for me has never really been about what
we are making at the end of the day. Of
course that is also equally important, but it's been about
what needs to be said. Grateful that I get to
(34:30):
be that vessel, to share and to work in spaces
that she would have never even if she imagined she
would have never, and to be that representation of her.
To see because music has allowed me to see, to walk,
to experience things that I would have never done sitting
in an office, to travel, to experience different peoples and
(34:52):
cultures and expressions. It's with her, and I was thinking
about it. I think yesterday, actually last year, about a
year ago or so, I was performing at this festival
in Killifi, it's called Kiliff in New Years. And so
after after the performance, we went on a cruise door
ride with a couple of friends and I got really emotional,
really emotional, and I was crying the entire sunset door
(35:15):
It's supposed to be nice and romantic and beautiful, and
people taking pictures in the middle of and I was crying.
I was crying. And because the sale shit, it's called
a sit this this big shit that is used to
navigate the ship the dog. It was drawn the picture
of Mactillillimunsa. And so when I saw that picture, it
(35:38):
strucked accord inside me, and it was like, like I
can imagine what women who came before as went through
and what was their story, Like my grandmother came to
me and just me being having sailed the ocean like
this and coming from where I come from, which is
like western part of Kenya, and doing the work I do,
and for her, even if she wanted, she would have
(36:01):
never experienced such things, if no matter how much you
wanted to. And so me as a representation of not
just her, but the women who came before us, was
so was so emotional for me, and so I ended
up just crying the entire What makes up my altar?
I mentioned about my altar all the elements air, fire, water, earth,
and spirit. It's the same way like they have in
(36:22):
the Catholic Church, Like they have the candles for the fire,
and they have like the water for the blessings. Right,
they usually have water, and then they have flowers to
represent the element of the earth, and they have spirit
represented by either the pictures of the Messiah whatever or
like the Cross, which is spirit. So it's just a
replica of that because we exist in all these elements.
(36:44):
We have air, we have water, we have fire, we
have spirit is like the Avatar. So my altar is
consisting of a candle which is fire, spirit which is
the ank cross represented by that. And then at I
have crystals for that which represents mother Earth. And then
I have water of cause like a baptismal ball. Don't
(37:04):
wait for nobody to baptize me. I baptize myself. Bless myself,
Bless myself. Bless you now more blessings. You know, you
know how they do it in the church, They like
pour this water on you, like bless you, blessed. No,
I'm the one who does it for myself. And then
there's incense, of course, which is air. I have like
(37:27):
a sound ball, which is also the spirit, the element
of air. So it's just normal things. And then I
also have like pictures. I have a picture of myself.
I have so there's a book that I use also
to guide my journey. It's called Sacred Woman by Quina Fua.
So Sacred Woman takes us through all the gateways or
(37:48):
principles of life. So by this I mean sacred word,
how we speak, sacred food, what we ingest, sacred movement,
how we move our bodies, our lives and everybody around us.
So it's just like exercise it. Well you know all
these things. So these gateways, it's a whole. If you know,
a queen, a foo are bigger pon yourself, bigger self
(38:10):
to all the sacred agreement out there. But yeah, so
that is the guide with this, and then we you
need like a spiritual guide. So my spiritual guide is
my my grandmother, my ancestor. And then you need like
yourself also you have to be the center of it.
And then a contemporary someone you look up to, like
an elder first, someone you look up to, whether it's
you want to improve in terms of your health, food
(38:32):
you eat, Who do you know that eats quality food
or is like, who do you know that moves accordingly?
Who do you know that has relationships that are positive
and a good influence to you? So that would be
the representation of that, so you are echoing like the
energy to also guide you in that. And then a
contemporary would be person in your age group that is
(38:53):
also moving in accordance to how you would like to move.
So that is what is composed of my altar. Yes,
but I'm the center of it. So the activist in me,
as I said, these lyrics come so easy to me.
I think through the type of music that I wrote,
I ended up finding myself in spaces that of people
(39:14):
who are like minded and speak about these things and
push towards certain courses. So I found myself in power
to five four. I found myself like in different art
spaces that encourage these types of voices, right, and so
through there there was a time my music was used
for like different campaigns, and so being around such creatives
(39:35):
who are doing activist work, and over and over again,
just it kept building up, it kept building up. And
last year we did a project is called Project black Woman.
So Project black Woman was supported by Heaver Fund and
the French government. And so what we did was I
wrote a piece called black Woman Celebration of all Black
(39:58):
daughters and sisters out there. What happened for black women
was I wrote it to number one, celebrate black sisters.
Number two encourage an aunt of mine who had been
incarcerated during COVID time. So it was like a livacation
to her. Then I asked myself, like, how do I
want to release this music? I didn't just want to
put it out for the sake of putting music out.
(40:19):
So in twenty twenty three, I think we did a
music video for it, and then my aunt was already out,
and then we did a campaign to rally for sanitary
kids for women prisoners, because I asked, like when she
was in there, and she was telling me, and during
COVID and the focus like people forgot about there was
no visits, there was nothing like people forgot about everything
else apart from PPS and being safe and trying to
(40:40):
survive COVID. So you can imagine you're in prison, so
what does that look like? And furthermore, sanitary kids or
dignity kids in prisons mostly is supported by well wishes.
So now attention has shifted from all these other normal
workings of life. It's just COVID now. So even the
little that they were getting is no longer there. And
(41:00):
my aunt used to tell me like, either you use
a piece of clothes matchess, Yeah, it's bad, you know.
So we were like, what we're gonna do with this?
At peace? We're gonna run a campaign to collect donations
to support remen in prison through their mental health management.
So just celebrating that black sisters regardless of whatever, whoever,
(41:21):
whatever they've done, just I reminded that it doesn't matter.
At the end of the day. Menstrual health is mental health,
So these people need to be okay, regardless of their backgrounds.
And so through that we did it for like two
years and then in twenty twenty four we got help,
We got a grant for it, and then from that
we were able to travel to do a toll within
(41:42):
three counties, so we did Mombasa and Nakuru and Kisumu
and just doing free artistic showcases where we were not
charging entrance fee. The only entrance fee was either you
come with a panty, a tissue paper, soap, a basop
or a pack of packets of paths and then we
go together and do like a SSR in prison And
that was like amazing. That was like of all the
(42:05):
things I've done with my work, I think that was
like the epitome of the work we do and to
see how people are willing and because everybody remembers school kids,
women in informal settlements and they all need this support,
but rarely do we sit and think, okay, women in
prison they also need paths, you know. So yeah, we
(42:26):
ended up doing Project Black Women throughout the better part
of last year. It's amazing to just even how the
men were ready to support and the donations we got.
In one incidence, I think when we were at Kisumu
Women's Prison, one of the babies was celebrating their bath
days and we had come with cake and whatnot, and
it was so emotional and they were turning one they've
(42:47):
never been outside, they were born inside the institution and
things like this. So yeah, that is part of now
the whole spectrum of my work around gender activism. Just
other than that, we started a community is called sound
Sisters KI, a group that celebrates, supports, and gives space
to women in sound engineering and sound technology non binary
(43:12):
identifying people. Sound Sisters is a place where women can
come and do you know, like the setups they're doing
stages and like there's the front line, the back line,
the sound. Because I also have experience in live music,
so there's not so many women doing sound here in
Kenya and so we have that also going on. Hey,
(43:32):
what keeps me going. My grandmother, She keeps me going.
She keeps me going because I'm not here just to
represent me as like I move every day and even
just walk right now to go to the next place
that I'm going. I'm carrying women, and of course men
have played a pivotal part because especially from my upgrade,
(43:55):
upbringing in Rasta, we say she for he, he for she,
because I wouldn't have been yeah, if not for my dad,
of course. But I think women, I don't know, women
are just amazing, and my grandmother, my ancestor grandmother, is
one of her. I'm just here to represent a voice
that was never heard. Have fun while let it and
(44:19):
have a good time while at it, because I also
don't believe in suffering. Hah. We've suffered enough for black women,
have suffered enough enough and that is enough. So having
a good time, let it, enjoying life. Yeah, better manifestations
(44:41):
for all of us, for all of us, pretty much,
but more so for the black sisters out there. You're
not just representing yourself as you move. There's a whole
generations or generations that came for you just to be here,
and there's more to come even after you. So the
fact that you here is motivation enough because it goes
(45:02):
to show how the universe has focustrated your happening. So
love it, baby, enjoy it, and make the most out
of it.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Catch more African stories in the next episode of Legally Cullious.
What an incredible story. I feel like Nile daughter just
has this infectious, inspiring lights of energy and you can
just hear it through her voice and how laughter. And
(45:33):
I think what really stayed with me is how ancestry
and spirit are so deeply woven into her path. You know,
when she spoke about her grandmother guiding her, I really
felt that, because I've said it before here, I too
have an ancestral altar. And for me, when she was
(45:54):
talking about there's just this ancestral or genetic no you
have that you do not even know where it came from,
I really felt that.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
I don't believe I've.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
Shared it on this podcast before or even with anyone
outside of two people in my life, but here goes right.
I never knew how to put together an ancestral altar.
How I started. I didn't even know what I was doing.
I wasn't conscious that this was what I was doing.
(46:26):
Let me let me explain. So years ago, i'm setting
up my home office. I start having this strong love
for candles. This did not exist before, friends, it didn't
exist before. So I have a bunch of candles in
my office. And then I think, because I've just quit
my job and I'm so scared, I'm diving into the unknown.
(46:51):
No one around me has done what I'm doing, so
I can't fully lean on them. I want to have
a reminder of my mother near me, and so I
take my favorite picture of my late mom and I
put it next to my candles. I think at the
time I had two candles. Anyway, put it next to
(47:12):
my candles. And then I read somewhere about burning instance
helping anxiety. So I say, you know what, I'm going
to start doing that because I was really If you
have been listening to the podcast from the beginning, you
know I was like navigating anxiety. So I find this
older woman who lives not too far from me, and
(47:35):
she has frankincense that she gets from I think, nothing,
kenya if I'm not wrong, and I start burning this
frank consense and I put a burner right next to
the candle, and the picture of my mom and then
I just find myself listen this. I know it sounds
(47:57):
so weird, but I promise, please trust. I find myself
saying my desires out loud whenever I light the candles.
I don't know why I'm doing it, but it calms
me down. And I start saying things like, if something
or someone is not meant for me, remove it from
my path. And then I start saying, may only that
(48:20):
which is mine find me. And I'm just like on
this journey of like trying to get closer to my
truest self. I do not know how. I start putting
a little bakuli what's bakkuli bowl of water there? And
then I start following and I'm drawn generally to women
(48:42):
and African women who are very spiritual. I start following
one and she does this sub stuck article about an
ancestral alter and I'm reading it and I'm just like,
what the fuck? This is exactly what I have on
my office desk. And I didn't even know what I
was doing. I just kind of was, you know, putting
one thing after the other for whatever reason at the time.
(49:06):
And I tell this friend of mine this who she's
super spiritual and husband since I've known her all my life,
and she's like, yeah, that there is innate knowledge within
you because you're not made up of only you in
your lineage. There's so many women who came before you,
(49:28):
so much knowledge that has passed from one to the
other to the other and now in you. And I
just began honoring that to the point where I don't
even talk about it publicly as much. I really don't
because it's for me to understand. It's part of my
spiritual hygiene. I don't want to invite judgment or weird
(49:49):
energy because it's not for you to understand. It's not
even for you to judge. It's for me and whoever
is going to come after me in my lineage. I
also then started I appreciating my talents. I write so
easily when it comes to poetry. I mean, it's difficult
when I'm writing, but like it comes to me so naturally.
Actually the word is naturally not easily. So I honor
(50:12):
that and I write. I write even when I'm fighting
through a writer's block. I write because then I'm like,
in my lineage, I was given this gift for a reason.
I don't know what it is I was given this
gift for a reason, and I'm going to use it.
I have an inclination that part of the reason is
(50:33):
healing work, because I feel very drawn to that. But
I honor the talents because it moves me closer to
what my role in my lineage is. I have a
way of talking to people very easily. People open up
to me very easily. I am patient. I don't know
how to hold grudges. I used to look at that
(50:54):
as a weakness.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
It's not.
Speaker 1 (50:56):
I love hard and I know my love is very
he and I look at it in many ways, but
one is these are the things that in my lineage
were given specifically to me. I must honor my lineage
by living them loud. Do you get what I'm saying?
And so hearing Nile Dot to talk about this thing,
(51:17):
so I was just like, oh, love it. I felt it,
you know, I truly felt it. So honestly, that is
that that part in her story really just resonated with
me and really moved me. But if her story moved
(51:39):
you as well, if there's something that you connected with,
I would love to hear about it. Please drop it
in the commons section and just let me know and
share this episode with someone who you think needs to
hear it. You know, maybe someone at the crossroads of
choosing between stability and papa. So someone learning to trust
their spiritual path. Right, and don't forget to officially join
(52:02):
our community, sign up on our website legally Clueless Africa
dot com. You will get letters from me, letters from
sometimes our events lead Mercy. So yeah, there are treats
every week from us. There. If you want to share
your story on this podcast, fill out our storyteller form.
A link is in the show notes. Follow us on
(52:23):
Instagram and TikTok and YouTube. Just search legally Clueless Africa
and until next time, Thank you so much for listening
to this episode to the very end. I truly appreciate you,
and I believe that you have every single thing it
takes to heal. That's it for this episode of Legally Clueless.
(52:46):
You can share this podcast with your friends, you can
keep it for yourself. I'm not judging. Just make sure
you're here next week for the next episode.
My name is adele On Younger and welcome to another
episode of Legally Clueless. No, seriously, i have no clue
what I'm doing, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the
only one. Hey you welcome to episode three hundred and
fifty one of Legally Clueless. And this is what's coming up.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I used to hate my African name, by the way,
for the longest time. I used to not like Akinnie.
I have people who have questioned me, and it still
happens a lot of times, like I go to places
and I say I am akinni Onyach and they ask me,
what is your English name? And now that statement even
makes me cringe, like I'm not English, so why should
(00:43):
I have an English name? You know? I met this
guy who was a producer. We fell in love and
then we created a lot of music. After I quit work,
went and tried to cohabit with my producer lover. My
grandmother was a singer. I never met her, and I'm
named after her, and she used to sing a lot
(01:03):
in the church. Has spirit and her energy is very
potent in me in how I move, in how I
do my things, in how I see the earth, how
I see the world, crazy, but we are really in communication.
Me and her a lot. I can't even explain it,
Like she's on my altar and with Chill a lot.
We talk a lot, She guides me a lot, her energy,
(01:26):
I feel her a lot. Some things are ancestral where
I come from. It's called jogi is like spirits is.
I don't know how to explain it, but it's like
a possession.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
That is Nile daughter story. I hope I'm pronouncing it
right because it's spelled dawta daughta. I feel like I'm
not saying it with enough swag. But her story is
super inspiring and it's coming away a little later in
this episode. Welcome, Welcome to the family. If this is
your first time listening, you are appreciated and you've picked
(01:59):
an incredible apps to kick off your legally clueless journey.
And of course our shows are so many. This one
goes out every single Monday and has different Africans come
through and share their stories. On Wednesdays, it's just you
and I on the Midwick T's and I share things
that I feel have helped me on my healing journey
(02:19):
and I feel could help you too. Also on Wednesdays,
our newsletter goes out, so make sure you sign up
for it on our website linked in the show notes.
And then on Thursday this week, a brand new season
of Four Mannerless Women starts both here our audio space
and on our YouTube channel, so make sure you sign up,
(02:43):
sign up, subscribe to our YouTube channel. It's linked in
the show notes. I can't wait for you to see
who is in episode one. It's definitely one of the
most powerful conversations I have had yet. If you are
an African woman on a journey of releasing shame from
(03:08):
your life and liberating yourself, you're gonna love that episode.
So yeah, see them three starts lists. They are very
excited about that, and on Fridays we have ask a Therapist,
so as you can see, it's a full house here
and we're all about connecting with each other through our
stories and just intentionally walking our healing journeys. If you
(03:30):
are an OG member, I will never stop saying this.
I truly appreciate you. So before we jump into Nile
Daughter's story, I do want to shout out everybody who
drops comments on our episodes and just thank you for
taking the time to type out your feelings. Your encouragement.
(03:51):
I love it. I want to address and remind those
who are probably new to the legally clueless space exactly
what we stand for. This week, we got a message
or a comment rather from Irene week Ali, who was
feeling a bit conflicted I feel about last week's story,
saying she doesn't know how she felt about it. So
(04:11):
Irene was kind of sharing a sentiment wondering what the
story was supposed to accomplish. So let me break it
down for you. Okay, every single storyteller who comes on
the platform does an incredible thing. They open up and
agree to be vulnerable with you and I. That is incredible,
(04:32):
and not many of us have the courage to do that.
That's one number two. The stories shared are of lived experiences.
They're not a manual. They are not setting out on
a performative journey. It's people allowing us into chapters of
their lives. So some of the stories are happening as
(04:53):
the person is sharing. Some happened a long time but
are unresolved. Some may be resolved or not yet. So
don't think about this as though you're watching a series. No,
you are being very graciously allowed into somebody's lived experience
(05:13):
and why I think this is so important to the
point that a huge chunk of our network and the
space is built on that is I don't think we
have enough empathy in this world. I don't think we
have enough expansion to allow for many truths to sit
besides each other. And I think how we achieve that
(05:35):
expansion and that empathy is through stories. For example, before
we got all of our incredible, legally clueless correspondence who
go out and record our stories, I did a lot
of the recordings. It expanded me. I on many occasions
had to sit opposite people whose truths were very different
(05:57):
from mine, and I had to afford them grace and respect.
By the end of the recordings, I had expanded, I
had learned something I didn't know. And the funny thing is,
whenever we're confronted with the truth that is different from ours,
we think it's going to threaten ours. What happened to
me was the complete opposite. In understanding that this world
(06:20):
is made of different people who are walking around with
different truths. It made me more confident in my own truth. Yeah,
I just never felt threatened. And so the number one
important person on this show is a storyteller because you
know it just as I do. It is not easy
(06:44):
to open up and let in people to different chapters
of your life. What I hope hearing all of these
stories does for you and I is bring back empathy
that I feel like the world needs more of. I
hope it spans you and I and I also hope
it makes us less judgmental, even of the things we
(07:06):
don't understand. Yeah, but sending you love and thanks for
sharing your sentiments, and I encourage you to keep doing that.
This is what this community is about. Openness and vulnerability.
Find a way this week to bring back empathy and
erase judgment.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Okay, let's jump into one hundred African stories. So you're
about to meet Nile Daughter, who's just her energy, is everything, singer,
somewhat producer, gender activist or should I say arttivist, and
her journey takes us through her love for reggae, bold decisions,
(07:48):
and even spirituality. One hundred African stories are legally clueless
stories from Africa.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
My name is Nile Daughter, and I like to say
representing for all the regular lovers and the reggae dadas.
I'm a singer songwriter, producer, a DJ, and also a
gender activist. So by gender artivists it means I combine
my work my art for gender activism. Born and raised
(08:24):
in Shoi Moyo Islands area, the origins are from nam Lului,
which is famously known as Lake Victoria. I call myself
the Nile Daughter because I originate from the source of
the Nile, which is Lake Victoria, and my ancestors also
originated from these settings. So I'm a Nile daughter. But
(08:48):
my official names are Akini Onyach. I have an English name,
but I'm not English, so I'm not gonna use it.
Moving on. I stopped using my English name so long ago, actually,
probably maybe in the last like four or five, three
years maybe. And it's funny because I used to I
(09:10):
love it. By the way, I love it, it's my other persona.
It's I have different personas that is one of them.
I used to hate my African name, by the way,
for the longest time, I used to not like Akinni.
And then I met this friend of mine who was
visiting Kenya and they were like a Kennie a Kenye.
(09:32):
I'm like, this guy, can you not just call me
with my other names everybody. I have a creative name,
I have an artist's name, I have all these names.
You just used to call me a Kini. And then
he sat me down and he was like, you know,
like there's something about African names, and then I call
you like this, there's a representation to eat and these
echoes to that, and so within that and also just
(09:53):
coming to find myself as an African woman and as
a creative as well. I think over time it just
faded away and everywhere I go, either I'll introduce myself
as Nile daughter or a Kinnie. I have people who
have questioned me, and it still happens a lot of times,
Like I go to places and I say I am
a Kini on yach and they ask me what is
(10:14):
your English name? And now that statement even makes me cringe,
like I'm not English, so why should I have an
English name? You know? So I've had that happening a lot.
But I will never, can never and won't give you
my English name. If a kin is not okay for you,
(10:35):
take Nile daughter. If that is not okay, that's it.
So I think one of my pivotal moments as I
was growing up in chow Remoo and which might have
shaped the type of work that I do and the
kind of things that I gravitate to, especially with regards
to activism. Is where I was born. It was just
next to come Quency Grounds. So com Quenji Grounds was
(10:58):
the hotbed during multiplism in Kenya during Saba Saba period,
and we all know what used to happen, like there
used to be a lot of just like the Manda
manners that were happening last year, you know, for Kenya
to be a multi party state. And so when I
was growing up, I remember very well because Saba Saba
is also my birthday. So I used to ask myself
and ask my mom, like mom, why is it that
(11:20):
every time my birthday is happening, there's tia gas and
KOs and running battles, and like why what is this thing?
You know, like a bad day is supposed to be nice,
but that is the day that your teens the environment
is gloomy, there's tia gas all over the place because
these meetings used to happen at Kamcunji grounds. And so
I think having seen that when I was growing up
(11:42):
and for so many years, it instilled kind of like
a fighter spirit in me, like a warrior type of spirit.
And the best way that I know how to express
this is through my work through my art. Saba Saba
is very significant to me because it was my oarth
day and also the day that Ma and all these
(12:03):
scales used to happen. Oh my goodness, I'm solf blessed.
I think why I also gravitated towards activism was because
of the class divisions that I saw, like where I
was coming from, it was the hood to was the
gato to experience a different type of life, especially when
I went to high school and men as. That also
just just the disparity, like you're living in Showymorio. We
(12:25):
didn't have bathrooms woga when you remember you want to shower,
my goodness, where and then you remember you want to
go for a long call. So what used to happen
is there was like two options either. But how we
used to shower was you know, our houses were like
a ten by ten space, so that is everything the
(12:47):
sitting room, the living room, everything inside that house. And
then we used to have like a central public space
that public toilet, which never used to work because they
were blocked. Since I was a child all year around,
like thinking of going to that. That was very dramatic.
So now what used to happen is the next word?
How do you even call it? Like you cross like
this road and then you go to the next almost
(13:09):
like it's not a village, but the next section of
the estate. To take a shower on that side, because
that side the bathrooms used to work and they used
to have running water. But it's Comelion bathrooms. But then
when you remember you want to go for a long call,
a short call, yo yo, we thank God for whoever
introduced fresh toilets in the hood. It was serious like that.
(13:31):
And then you can imagine at night and it's the
hood and your stoppak, you have a running stomach. Let's
not go into theies that you see. So coming from
a place where basic human needs, basic human decency was
not even possible, and then going to high school and
having a toilet facilities, you understand. So it kind of
(13:53):
was like okay, Corney, where am I coming from? You know,
like where have I been all my life? Like what
type of life have I been living? So that was
your remoal so, and then with that and then experiencing
now this saba type of energy. I think it was
all just preparing me for something that I even myself
did not know at the time. I think my dad,
(14:17):
despite the fact that we grew up in the hood,
my dad had always kind of socialized us in some way,
like had taught us in that because my dad used
to work. My dad was a driver, has been a
driver his entire life, so him traveling and seeing new things.
When he came back home, he would come with a
recipe and it doesn't matter, like panga conio. He'll go
(14:40):
and buy atakama nio and yama nusu ama quota and
we'll try that new recipe. And he'll be teaching us
how to use you know, a folk. And he was
really socializing us in a way, just like to not
be shocked about not be shocked about the world. I
remember if he used to like get some little money,
he would take us to like you know those times
(15:00):
kids were allowed in pubs. So he would take us
by us a fanta, that big funta, thee the orange
funta with my brother and someone. You go there some
groundnuts and we're eating and him is having his one beer.
So that we could just see life. You know, like,
so I've been going to high school. As much as
it was a culture shock and like there was a
shock of every other thing, I still was able to
(15:23):
act cool. You know that won't fake it till you
make it. You're like, ah, but you know where you're
coming from. You're acting cool like aye, but deep down
there's that guy imposter syndrome. Yeah, but you don't show
it because also I went to school outside of Nairobi,
so the fact that you're coming from Nairobi also was
(15:43):
like a status of it on its own, but now
meeting like new facilities and all these things. So I
think my dad did a good job in trying to
help us socialize easy with the world. And I think
when people from Eastlands like can pretty much survive almost anyway.
I don't know how true that is, but I think
we've experienced all bits and parts of life that it's
(16:06):
able to acclamate to whatever weather. In high school, my
activism side didn't come out much. What came out was
my artist's side. So that is when I joined the
CEO the Christian Union, and then through there there was
this lady who used to sing. I was informal and
she was informed for and she used to sing my
goodness like what Molly would sing. She was now leaving school,
(16:29):
she was exiting. So now you're asking ourselves. Now we's
going to chair prison worship and praises. And I don't
know if I just felt like somebody needed to fill
that gap. So I went home during the holidays and
then I was passing through Murdura those times there were
those CDs or fifty both where they have like an
album of pirated albums. So I bought a Macormas CD.
(16:51):
Do you remember macam Watch a Macommas CD. And then
I went home and then I practiced. I practiced, I practiced.
I practiced with that, with that CD. So when we're
opening backs school, I didn't even know like I could
sing pa. I didn't know like there was a singing
bone in me, but I knew I always gravitated towards music,
towards I had those books where you write lyrics every
(17:12):
certain day, you collected the Nation newspaper and put lyrics.
I had a whole book and would fight with my
mom like why can't you have a book of mathematics
like this, and you have a whole books another book
of lyrics you know. So then after practicing for like
a whole holiday, a whole December holiday, went back to school.
Now I was informed to Molly had left by chance.
(17:32):
I just started singing during the praise and worship and
guys were like, hey, Cumber, you can sing. And I
was like, hey, Cumber, I can sing, okay, And then
I was asked to lead another one and then and
that is how I ended up even like activities that
involved creativity and things like that. So in high school
it was more of finding my voice. So from high school,
(17:54):
how does life move on? I finished high school, I
go to UNI. Now I know I can sing that
I'm not doing anything with it. God called to do
actuial science. I did that. But in the process of
my schoolwork, I bump into a group called Coffee. So
Coffee was Tuesday curated nice artistic events where guys would
(18:15):
come and show case poetry. And this was at the
University of Eldoret. So guys would come and present nice
pieces of poetry acoustic sessions. And then I met a
classmate who used to play a bass guitar. I did
know this at this time. We met in the coffee sessions.
So he's like I had you can sing. So my
boyfriend at the time was telling everybody that my girlfriend,
(18:38):
I don't know why you know. And he used to
tell me that you can think, that you can think.
Can you try this? Just try it? And then he
tried to because he knew this classmate used to play
the guitar at the bass guitar, so he wanted to
connect the two of us. So we meet up and
introduces me to other friends and then we ended up
creating together. Throughout my university days, apart from being in school,
(19:00):
I was either in studio doing background vocals for somebody,
or in a band with these friends and classmates trying
to create music, or just jamming with music basically and
just having fun with it. And then we ended up
doing a couple of pieces. Well, I ended up doing
a couple of pieces of music, and then school ended,
(19:21):
and after school ended, I had to come back home
and to start now living a normal life. I've gone
to school, so now I need to start earning money.
So I get my first internship. I was working for
some Indian guy in Kiirnagar Ud That was like the
most horrific time of my life. This guy would shout
(19:41):
for no apparent reason, shouting like you entered the office
and your tenth the entire time until you leave. This
guy was I did it for two months and I
told my mom, you know what me, I don't have
children that I'm feeding. I don't have so much responsibilities
that I have to stay in this type of environment.
Then did a couple of internships here and there, here
(20:02):
and there, and then eventually I got into what I
started was underwriting pretty much, so I got into insurance.
So did that for like four years. The long story
of it is I quit again. Why they urged to
quit again after like getting a stable job pensionable. My
parents were proud of me because I started at an
internship LA level, did my six months, got to like
(20:26):
a junior claims officer, did another one year, got to underwriting,
so like I was progressing very nicely. My salary was
like increasing poly poly. My dad was really proud, you know.
And now my salary is pensionable. I have an S
and HIF, I have a medical cover, like you know,
(20:47):
now I'm setting myself up for life. But I was
there was always something that felt a miss, especially wearing
sorry for guys who work in offices, some of us
need to be in offices. Some of us we can't
all fit the offices. And I was the percentage that
could not fit in the office because from my style,
my hair, how it went to it was very gloomy
(21:10):
in the office. And apart from that, it something just
felt off. And I had already created music. And then
previously one of my internships was around things to do
with young people and finding your voice. So I had
already done that for like maybe three months, and I
had seen how young people were discovering their voices and
these things. But I'm now stuck in an office for
(21:33):
close to four years. I have music, and I was
keeping work every now and then go and play music.
I met this guy who was a producer. We fell
in love, and then we created a lot of music
in the process. In the process of making love, we
made music, a lot of good music. And then I
had so much music. I was like, this is good, man,
(21:56):
I can now live like this is so during the
week and like my time off and the time I
used to go see him and spread at his place,
we're making music. I think now that made me fall
in love with music even the more, because like seeing
someone and adoring them and then seeing what you guys
can go create together by and then creating good music.
So he was like, this is it this eight two five?
(22:19):
Don't see it happening anymore. So one day, skip work again,
going to this my two shows in the afternoon, and
then I was given I was given a warning letter.
And then I was like, you guys, even before you
were done giving me anything letters, I had drafted my
resignation like two months ago. It was just there on
my desktop. I was looking at it every day. Hey,
I woke up that day and saved them though, countersap
(22:43):
them with my resignation letter. And that is how I
did my I saved for like another man, and I left.
I had some money and a boyfriend making. I had
love music and a bit of savings. I was literally
clueless for sure. Oh my word, that was my exit plan.
So yeah, I e quit my job, didn't tell my
(23:05):
parents for a year, and then when my dad found out,
he didn't speak to me for a good while. But
I can't understand why he didn't speak to me for
a good while, Like coming for a while. We're coming
from and having struggled to put a child through school
and now they've gotten a good job and you know
they're able to like make something of themselves, and they're
choosing this part that you don't even understand. You know,
it's it's daunting, too apparent. After I quit work, went
(23:27):
and tried to cohabit with my producer lover, I invited
myself to his house because then in my head like, see,
this is the next plan. Now we've been doing music,
we've gotten bits and pieces of shows, so when if
we packet this thing properly and give it the right
energy to me, those are not the plans he had.
(23:48):
So that didn't work out. I don't know his plans.
What were he just the fact that we even tried
to stay together for two months was just too much
for the both of us. It didn't work out. Like
it was nice when you were seeing each other not
so often. But now I didn't have a place to go.
I didn't have like an eight to five. Yes, I
had savings, but I didn't want to go and drink
and finish on my savings. So I was like, I'm
gonna move in with you and then we're gonna figure
(24:10):
this thing out. And then I guess that is where
now everybody just started showing their true colors and it
stopped being nice, stopped being fun. I was like, yo,
I can't continue living like this. And then I told
my brother and my best friend at the time, and
my brother told me, you don't worry, you just let
me know what you decide, and we go from there.
My best friend told me to food andbsies went and
(24:31):
looked for our house. My brother came with his pickup
and the little money had. We packed all my things
from his house and lifts went to start life. But
at that point I went into depression because I had
no idea what I was gonna do next, because all
my music was associated with this person. So now we're
not into contact and I still love him. My heart
is breaking and my hat is breaking also for the music.
(24:54):
And I thought I had figured this out because I
quit a well paying job to do music. And my
parents don't know. Only my brother knows. They think I
wake up and go to work because I was already
I had already moved out of home, so they have
no idea. So the only people who know is my brother.
Mind you, it's I'm the first one, so he's younger
than me. But that is my solid drop for ages.
(25:14):
I'm paying rent now, but clearly I'm depleting my savings.
So then I end up needing to do other things
to make ends meet. So I get into writing and transcriptions,
but it's not making a lot of money. Plus the
time I was spending on it was so much, and
I'm not now creating the music. And I don't even
have this music because this guy has refused to give
(25:36):
me the music, and he's saying if I'm not with him,
then I cannot do that music by myself, so I
have nothing. Why was he refusing with my music? I
think also for him from a perspective of the time,
the work that we had put in and for me
to just collect it and go. So he needed to
show me like bro. So his terms were either I
(25:57):
pay him for the production work he's done for me
to give me everything, or I forget about everything. But
I don't have this money. It's not like I'm working.
So I had to come clean to my parents. I
told them what was going on. By this time, I
was so depressed. I was so so depressed, and then
I just like packed up and went to live with
my maternal grandmother in the village. I just went and
(26:19):
stayed with my grandfather. I was really depressed. I think
the only constant thing and since I found music was music.
And so now somebody's telling me, like all the work
I've put in, I can't use it, I can't do
nothing with it. And then there were also somebody that
I really loved. So my heart is breaking twice. So
I was just like Minendo Chago, you know, literally Nita
(26:42):
and au Chago used to wake up and just chill
like the tree. And my grandmother never told me anything.
She never said nothing. She didn't talk. She was just
looking at me, you know, like those episodes where you're
just like Sana do Nanda, what direction am I taking
with my life? My savings are almost over because I've
been even for like a year plus. Yeah, So we
(27:02):
were just steeling there. She's the one feeding me. I
should be the one helping her out. I was there
for close to like three months maybe, and then the
music found me again. She was like, Nile daughter, pick
yourself up, baby, No this is not you know, if
we made that, we can make it again. To Rudy Nairobi,
came back to came back to Nairobi and then my
(27:23):
grandmother was kind of like the mediator between me and
my folks. Yeah, she tried talking to my dad and
was like, this child, she's not using drugs, She's just
following what she likes. She has no idea still, but
just like, just give her the grise. Came back to Nairobi.
My brother was actually helping me pay part of the rent.
So I had not moved out from my place, so
(27:44):
I was paying some of it. He was paying some
of it. So went back to my place and then
I was like, you know what, this guy, I'm gonna
show him I had some bit of money here and there.
I remembered Danielle was my bassist who we were in
the same class with campus. So I reach out to
daniel I told him I have some music that I
would love now to play, to put up a band
(28:06):
together and do something. And then daniel tells me out.
But you remember also Sammy, my brother, is a guitarist,
So let's reach out to Sammy and see if we
can work something out. We reach out to some and
Samy's like, it's reggae music, let's do it. And then
I reach out to another friend, who reaches out to
another friend, and by the time the week is over,
I have a full band and I'm not even paying anybody.
(28:27):
Everybody is just excited to like do this thing with me,
and so we come together. We start rehearsals for like
a month, and then my parents eventually agree to support kidogo,
so they pay part of the rehearsals and things like this,
and then we put up a show. We put up
a show off, like by the end of that month,
we gave ourselves a target, We're gonna put up a show.
(28:49):
And the turnout was amazing, Like everybody I knew you
were making phone calls to friends and family and everybody
in the band just trying to get five with ten people.
And we played our first show, Power two five four
back when it was at the rooftop somewhere in State
House Road. That was so affirming to me, so affirming.
(29:11):
It gave me a list of new life, Like the
life and the energy that was pumped back in me
again was like whoa that is now when I professionally
became a musician from that point on. So why reggae
music is because this ex love of mine introduced me
to reggae music. And then when I started analyzing reggae
(29:31):
music gave me a sense of identity as a black woman.
Pluss the music. He introduced me to a lot of
Rastafarai teachings. He introduced me to a lot of self
awareness as a black woman and a lot of reasonings.
And so when I met these reasonings plus the type
of music that I was already creating, it made perfect synergy,
(29:52):
like perfect sync. It made perfect sync. And because I
used to go to studio and guys are telling me,
we need to to write a song that is like
hypen this, and my music is very chilled, very slow,
very provocative also like in terms of reasonings and thematic
areas that I use, Like my first song that I
wrote was about Like the first song that I wrote
(30:14):
was about political unrest in the country. That has always
been like the type of work that I gravitated towards.
So when I met reggae music, it singed perfectly with
how I was now understanding myself as a woman, as
a Black woman and as a black creative class. The
drama and bass and the lyrics, who sets me on
(30:35):
a whole frequency? And that's peace My first piece hoart
did that come about? I just heard two words, and
I wrote a song and the two wards where I
don't want to be period. So the lyrics are like,
I don't want to be where you are. I don't
want to stand where you stand because everything that you're
preaching is lies. You know, it's about politicians and all
(30:56):
these things. I tell us every day. Part of the
videography was from under Mano from Sabastabaway. Guys were being
beat with these big clovers and things like this. So
I think it has always been inside me. It's it's
not something I try to look for. It's just it
comes very easy, comes very easy. When I write music
that is towards a certain course comes so easy to me.
(31:18):
At what point does it start to make financial sense?
I think sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't until today
and they're still trying to breed that gap. But slowly,
slowly is making sense. I wouldn't say I've always done
this music because it paid me. I think I've done
it number one also, and why I call myself an
(31:39):
a daughter. So my grandmother was a singer. I never
met her, and I'm named after her, and she used
to sing a lot in the church. Has spirit and
her energy. It's very important in me, in how I move,
in how I do my things, in how I see
the earth, how I see the world. And we crazy,
(31:59):
but we are really in communication. Me and her a lot.
I can't even explain it. Like she's on my altar
and we chill a lot, we talk a lot. She
guides me a lot, her energy. I feel her a lot.
I get goosebums when I start talking about her. So
it's these things that you can't explain, but it's part
of you. It's part of your DNA, your structure, and
(32:21):
your makeup. She's part of my makeup. And I never
met her. And actually that is the point where my
dad stopped bagging me about music, because I told her,
like you should have picked another name before you named
me your mom. She will let me rest in peace
because now I have to do these things and I
have to create music. I have to like it's in
like it's it's a bagging feelings, like there is something
(32:42):
you need to do. There is something you need to do,
and it's just at the back of my head. And
until I do it, I have no peace. So some things,
like some things are ancestral where I come from. It's
called Jogi is like spirits is. I don't know how
to explain it, but it's like a possession. Was I
(33:03):
where was I digressing? But to give you context as
to why music has ever been about money for me?
How maybe the easiest way to put it would be,
like my hands look like my mom's, and her hands
would look like her moms. You understand. So it's it's
a genetic imprint. Just because somebody has transitioned to become
(33:24):
an ancestor does not mean that their genetic memory does
not exist in me or in the generations after this person.
They say, like my ovaries, the ovaries of my grandchildren
already in Like I have three generations too. You call
it over and over again, so then that over is
(33:45):
still manifested in me. Like these things they are there,
you know, you know, And that is how it is.
Genetic memory, genetic imprints, And it's just honoring and appreciation
of our lineages and where we come from. And it
doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. It is
an army of people and things and places that we
(34:08):
can use to our advantage. It's just knowing how to
tap into that. And so my grandmother is a pivotal,
pivotal part of my journey and of my creative process.
So music for me has never really been about what
we are making at the end of the day. Of
course that is also equally important, but it's been about
what needs to be said. Grateful that I get to
(34:30):
be that vessel, to share and to work in spaces
that she would have never even if she imagined she
would have never, and to be that representation of her.
To see because music has allowed me to see, to walk,
to experience things that I would have never done sitting
in an office, to travel, to experience different peoples and
(34:52):
cultures and expressions. It's with her, and I was thinking
about it. I think yesterday, actually last year, about a
year ago or so, I was performing at this festival
in Killifi, it's called Kiliff in New Years. And so
after after the performance, we went on a cruise door
ride with a couple of friends and I got really emotional,
really emotional, and I was crying the entire sunset door
(35:15):
It's supposed to be nice and romantic and beautiful, and
people taking pictures in the middle of and I was crying.
I was crying. And because the sale shit, it's called
a sit this this big shit that is used to
navigate the ship the dog. It was drawn the picture
of Mactillillimunsa. And so when I saw that picture, it
(35:38):
strucked accord inside me, and it was like, like I
can imagine what women who came before as went through
and what was their story, Like my grandmother came to
me and just me being having sailed the ocean like
this and coming from where I come from, which is
like western part of Kenya, and doing the work I do,
and for her, even if she wanted, she would have
(36:01):
never experienced such things, if no matter how much you
wanted to. And so me as a representation of not
just her, but the women who came before us, was
so was so emotional for me, and so I ended
up just crying the entire What makes up my altar?
I mentioned about my altar all the elements air, fire, water, earth,
and spirit. It's the same way like they have in
(36:22):
the Catholic Church, Like they have the candles for the fire,
and they have like the water for the blessings. Right,
they usually have water, and then they have flowers to
represent the element of the earth, and they have spirit
represented by either the pictures of the Messiah whatever or
like the Cross, which is spirit. So it's just a
replica of that because we exist in all these elements.
(36:44):
We have air, we have water, we have fire, we
have spirit is like the Avatar. So my altar is
consisting of a candle which is fire, spirit which is
the ank cross represented by that. And then at I
have crystals for that which represents mother Earth. And then
I have water of cause like a baptismal ball. Don't
(37:04):
wait for nobody to baptize me. I baptize myself. Bless myself,
Bless myself. Bless you now more blessings. You know, you
know how they do it in the church, They like
pour this water on you, like bless you, blessed. No,
I'm the one who does it for myself. And then
there's incense, of course, which is air. I have like
(37:27):
a sound ball, which is also the spirit, the element
of air. So it's just normal things. And then I
also have like pictures. I have a picture of myself.
I have so there's a book that I use also
to guide my journey. It's called Sacred Woman by Quina Fua.
So Sacred Woman takes us through all the gateways or
(37:48):
principles of life. So by this I mean sacred word,
how we speak, sacred food, what we ingest, sacred movement,
how we move our bodies, our lives and everybody around us.
So it's just like exercise it. Well you know all
these things. So these gateways, it's a whole. If you know,
a queen, a foo are bigger pon yourself, bigger self
(38:10):
to all the sacred agreement out there. But yeah, so
that is the guide with this, and then we you
need like a spiritual guide. So my spiritual guide is
my my grandmother, my ancestor. And then you need like
yourself also you have to be the center of it.
And then a contemporary someone you look up to, like
an elder first, someone you look up to, whether it's
you want to improve in terms of your health, food
(38:32):
you eat, Who do you know that eats quality food
or is like, who do you know that moves accordingly?
Who do you know that has relationships that are positive
and a good influence to you? So that would be
the representation of that, so you are echoing like the
energy to also guide you in that. And then a
contemporary would be person in your age group that is
(38:53):
also moving in accordance to how you would like to move.
So that is what is composed of my altar. Yes,
but I'm the center of it. So the activist in me,
as I said, these lyrics come so easy to me.
I think through the type of music that I wrote,
I ended up finding myself in spaces that of people
(39:14):
who are like minded and speak about these things and
push towards certain courses. So I found myself in power
to five four. I found myself like in different art
spaces that encourage these types of voices, right, and so
through there there was a time my music was used
for like different campaigns, and so being around such creatives
(39:35):
who are doing activist work, and over and over again,
just it kept building up, it kept building up. And
last year we did a project is called Project black Woman.
So Project black Woman was supported by Heaver Fund and
the French government. And so what we did was I
wrote a piece called black Woman Celebration of all Black
(39:58):
daughters and sisters out there. What happened for black women
was I wrote it to number one, celebrate black sisters.
Number two encourage an aunt of mine who had been
incarcerated during COVID time. So it was like a livacation
to her. Then I asked myself, like, how do I
want to release this music? I didn't just want to
put it out for the sake of putting music out.
(40:19):
So in twenty twenty three, I think we did a
music video for it, and then my aunt was already out,
and then we did a campaign to rally for sanitary
kids for women prisoners, because I asked, like when she
was in there, and she was telling me, and during
COVID and the focus like people forgot about there was
no visits, there was nothing like people forgot about everything
else apart from PPS and being safe and trying to
(40:40):
survive COVID. So you can imagine you're in prison, so
what does that look like? And furthermore, sanitary kids or
dignity kids in prisons mostly is supported by well wishes.
So now attention has shifted from all these other normal
workings of life. It's just COVID now. So even the
little that they were getting is no longer there. And
(41:00):
my aunt used to tell me like, either you use
a piece of clothes matchess, Yeah, it's bad, you know.
So we were like, what we're gonna do with this?
At peace? We're gonna run a campaign to collect donations
to support remen in prison through their mental health management.
So just celebrating that black sisters regardless of whatever, whoever,
(41:21):
whatever they've done, just I reminded that it doesn't matter.
At the end of the day. Menstrual health is mental health,
So these people need to be okay, regardless of their backgrounds.
And so through that we did it for like two
years and then in twenty twenty four we got help,
We got a grant for it, and then from that
we were able to travel to do a toll within
(41:42):
three counties, so we did Mombasa and Nakuru and Kisumu
and just doing free artistic showcases where we were not
charging entrance fee. The only entrance fee was either you
come with a panty, a tissue paper, soap, a basop
or a pack of packets of paths and then we
go together and do like a SSR in prison And
that was like amazing. That was like of all the
(42:05):
things I've done with my work, I think that was
like the epitome of the work we do and to
see how people are willing and because everybody remembers school kids,
women in informal settlements and they all need this support,
but rarely do we sit and think, okay, women in
prison they also need paths, you know. So yeah, we
(42:26):
ended up doing Project Black Women throughout the better part
of last year. It's amazing to just even how the
men were ready to support and the donations we got.
In one incidence, I think when we were at Kisumu
Women's Prison, one of the babies was celebrating their bath
days and we had come with cake and whatnot, and
it was so emotional and they were turning one they've
(42:47):
never been outside, they were born inside the institution and
things like this. So yeah, that is part of now
the whole spectrum of my work around gender activism. Just
other than that, we started a community is called sound
Sisters KI, a group that celebrates, supports, and gives space
to women in sound engineering and sound technology non binary
(43:12):
identifying people. Sound Sisters is a place where women can
come and do you know, like the setups they're doing
stages and like there's the front line, the back line,
the sound. Because I also have experience in live music,
so there's not so many women doing sound here in
Kenya and so we have that also going on. Hey,
(43:32):
what keeps me going. My grandmother, She keeps me going.
She keeps me going because I'm not here just to
represent me as like I move every day and even
just walk right now to go to the next place
that I'm going. I'm carrying women, and of course men
have played a pivotal part because especially from my upgrade,
(43:55):
upbringing in Rasta, we say she for he, he for she,
because I wouldn't have been yeah, if not for my dad,
of course. But I think women, I don't know, women
are just amazing, and my grandmother, my ancestor grandmother, is
one of her. I'm just here to represent a voice
that was never heard. Have fun while let it and
(44:19):
have a good time while at it, because I also
don't believe in suffering. Hah. We've suffered enough for black women,
have suffered enough enough and that is enough. So having
a good time, let it, enjoying life. Yeah, better manifestations
(44:41):
for all of us, for all of us, pretty much,
but more so for the black sisters out there. You're
not just representing yourself as you move. There's a whole
generations or generations that came for you just to be here,
and there's more to come even after you. So the
fact that you here is motivation enough because it goes
(45:02):
to show how the universe has focustrated your happening. So
love it, baby, enjoy it, and make the most out
of it.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Catch more African stories in the next episode of Legally Cullious.
What an incredible story. I feel like Nile daughter just
has this infectious, inspiring lights of energy and you can
just hear it through her voice and how laughter. And
(45:33):
I think what really stayed with me is how ancestry
and spirit are so deeply woven into her path. You know,
when she spoke about her grandmother guiding her, I really
felt that, because I've said it before here, I too
have an ancestral altar. And for me, when she was
(45:54):
talking about there's just this ancestral or genetic no you
have that you do not even know where it came from,
I really felt that.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
I don't believe I've.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
Shared it on this podcast before or even with anyone
outside of two people in my life, but here goes right.
I never knew how to put together an ancestral altar.
How I started. I didn't even know what I was doing.
I wasn't conscious that this was what I was doing.
(46:26):
Let me let me explain. So years ago, i'm setting
up my home office. I start having this strong love
for candles. This did not exist before, friends, it didn't
exist before. So I have a bunch of candles in
my office. And then I think, because I've just quit
my job and I'm so scared, I'm diving into the unknown.
(46:51):
No one around me has done what I'm doing, so
I can't fully lean on them. I want to have
a reminder of my mother near me, and so I
take my favorite picture of my late mom and I
put it next to my candles. I think at the
time I had two candles. Anyway, put it next to
(47:12):
my candles. And then I read somewhere about burning instance
helping anxiety. So I say, you know what, I'm going
to start doing that because I was really If you
have been listening to the podcast from the beginning, you
know I was like navigating anxiety. So I find this
older woman who lives not too far from me, and
(47:35):
she has frankincense that she gets from I think, nothing,
kenya if I'm not wrong, and I start burning this
frank consense and I put a burner right next to
the candle, and the picture of my mom and then
I just find myself listen this. I know it sounds
(47:57):
so weird, but I promise, please trust. I find myself
saying my desires out loud whenever I light the candles.
I don't know why I'm doing it, but it calms
me down. And I start saying things like, if something
or someone is not meant for me, remove it from
my path. And then I start saying, may only that
(48:20):
which is mine find me. And I'm just like on
this journey of like trying to get closer to my
truest self. I do not know how. I start putting
a little bakuli what's bakkuli bowl of water there? And
then I start following and I'm drawn generally to women
(48:42):
and African women who are very spiritual. I start following
one and she does this sub stuck article about an
ancestral alter and I'm reading it and I'm just like,
what the fuck? This is exactly what I have on
my office desk. And I didn't even know what I
was doing. I just kind of was, you know, putting
one thing after the other for whatever reason at the time.
(49:06):
And I tell this friend of mine this who she's
super spiritual and husband since I've known her all my life,
and she's like, yeah, that there is innate knowledge within
you because you're not made up of only you in
your lineage. There's so many women who came before you,
(49:28):
so much knowledge that has passed from one to the
other to the other and now in you. And I
just began honoring that to the point where I don't
even talk about it publicly as much. I really don't
because it's for me to understand. It's part of my
spiritual hygiene. I don't want to invite judgment or weird
(49:49):
energy because it's not for you to understand. It's not
even for you to judge. It's for me and whoever
is going to come after me in my lineage. I
also then started I appreciating my talents. I write so
easily when it comes to poetry. I mean, it's difficult
when I'm writing, but like it comes to me so naturally.
Actually the word is naturally not easily. So I honor
(50:12):
that and I write. I write even when I'm fighting
through a writer's block. I write because then I'm like,
in my lineage, I was given this gift for a reason.
I don't know what it is I was given this
gift for a reason, and I'm going to use it.
I have an inclination that part of the reason is
(50:33):
healing work, because I feel very drawn to that. But
I honor the talents because it moves me closer to
what my role in my lineage is. I have a
way of talking to people very easily. People open up
to me very easily. I am patient. I don't know
how to hold grudges. I used to look at that
(50:54):
as a weakness.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
It's not.
Speaker 1 (50:56):
I love hard and I know my love is very
he and I look at it in many ways, but
one is these are the things that in my lineage
were given specifically to me. I must honor my lineage
by living them loud. Do you get what I'm saying?
And so hearing Nile Dot to talk about this thing,
(51:17):
so I was just like, oh, love it. I felt it,
you know, I truly felt it. So honestly, that is
that that part in her story really just resonated with
me and really moved me. But if her story moved
(51:39):
you as well, if there's something that you connected with,
I would love to hear about it. Please drop it
in the commons section and just let me know and
share this episode with someone who you think needs to
hear it. You know, maybe someone at the crossroads of
choosing between stability and papa. So someone learning to trust
their spiritual path. Right, and don't forget to officially join
(52:02):
our community, sign up on our website legally Clueless Africa
dot com. You will get letters from me, letters from
sometimes our events lead Mercy. So yeah, there are treats
every week from us. There. If you want to share
your story on this podcast, fill out our storyteller form.
A link is in the show notes. Follow us on
(52:23):
Instagram and TikTok and YouTube. Just search legally Clueless Africa
and until next time, Thank you so much for listening
to this episode to the very end. I truly appreciate you,
and I believe that you have every single thing it
takes to heal. That's it for this episode of Legally Clueless.
(52:46):
You can share this podcast with your friends, you can
keep it for yourself. I'm not judging. Just make sure
you're here next week for the next episode.
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