#424 Boundary Phobia After Breast Cancer

Have you ever felt almost afraid to set a boundary—especially with someone you love? You’re not alone. In this episode, I share the story of a client who jokingly called it “boundary phobia” and how that phrase perfectly captures the fear and discomfort so many of us feel when we try to protect our time, energy, or emotional well-being.

We’ll talk about:

• The fears that keep us saying “yes” when we want to say “no”

• The myths we’ve been taught about boundaries and relationships

• Why boundaries are about action as much as they are about words

• How to set healthy boundaries with yourself first—and why that’s the key to holding them with others

• A short guided reflection to help you identify one internal boundary you can start practicing today

If you’ve been feeling drained, resentful, or guilty about saying no, this episode will help you shift the way you think about boundaries so they feel less like walls and more like doors you control.

 

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References from this episode:

• Parents Magazine study on accepting unwanted invitations: https://www.parents.com/why-saying-no-is-good-for-your-mental-health-8415963

• Stanford Student Affairs research on boundaries strengthening relationships: https://studentaffairs.stanford.edu/how-life-treeting-you-importance-of-boundaries

• 2020 study on relational boundaries and enforcement: https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Luchner-and-Snyder-2020-The-Importance-of-Flexible-Relational-Boundaries-.pdf

• Mental Health Center on boundaries and burnout: https://www.mentalhealthctr.com/boundaries-and-mental-health

• Dr. Kristin Neff’s self-compassion research: https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2

 

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Resources Mentioned:

• Better Than Before Breast Cancer Life Coaching Membership: https://www.thebreastcancerrecoverycoach.com/lifecoaching

• Creating a Life You Love in 168 Hours a Week: https://www.thebreastcancerrecoverycoach.com/168