Have you ever felt almost afraid to set a boundary—especially with someone you love? You're not alone. In this episode, I share the story of a client who jokingly called it "boundary phobia" and how that phrase perfectly captures the fear and discomfort so many of us feel when we try to protect our time, energy, or emotional well-being.
We'll talk about:
-
The fears that keep us saying "yes" when we want to say "no"
-
The myths we've been taught about boundaries and relationships
-
Why boundaries are about action as much as they are about words
-
How to set healthy boundaries with yourself first—and why that's the key to holding them with others
-
A short guided reflection to help you identify one internal boundary you can start practicing today
If you've been feeling drained, resentful, or guilty about saying no, this episode will help you shift the way you think about boundaries so they feel less like walls and more like doors you control.
References from this episode:
-
Parents Magazine study on accepting unwanted invitations: https://www.parents.com/why-saying-no-is-good-for-your-mental-health-8415963
-
Stanford Student Affairs research on boundaries strengthening relationships: https://studentaffairs.stanford.edu/how-life-treeting-you-importance-of-boundaries
-
2020 study on relational boundaries and enforcement: https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Luchner-and-Snyder-2020-The-Importance-of-Flexible-Relational-Boundaries-.pdf
-
Mental Health Center on boundaries and burnout: https://www.mentalhealthctr.com/boundaries-and-mental-health
-
Dr. Kristin Neff's self-compassion research: https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2
Resources Mentioned:
-
Better Than Before Breast Cancer Life Coaching Membership: https://www.thebreastcancerrecoverycoach.com/lifecoaching
-
Creating a Life You Love in 168 Hours a Week: https://www.thebreastcancerrecoverycoach.com/168
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.