Role Models Let Go of the Perfectionism

Arejay emphasizes the importance of letting go of perfectionism for role models, as it can hinder progress and prevent sharing with those who need it. She argues that the desire for perfection often stems from external conditioning rather than personal or audience needs. Arejay believes that showing vulnerability and the process of growth can normalize the journey and inspire others without setting unrealistic standards.

Episode Transcript

Arejay (00:18):
My role models, I need you to let go of the
perfectionism, your clients,your people, those who are
looking up to you, those who arehoping to follow in your
footsteps, need you to let go ofthe perfectionism. And I say

(00:39):
that because what happens is alot of the time we're working to
create something, and we want itto have so much value, and we
want it to have so much impact,and we want it to be perfect,

(00:59):
because we've been trained thatperfect is the way that it's
supposed to be right, likethere's this finished version of
what it's supposed to look like,but oftentimes what it's
supposed to look like, thosestandards are not necessarily
coming from us, right, andthey're not necessarily Coming

(01:20):
from the people that we'rebuilding it for, either and a
lot of it comes from theconditioning that we have, the
way that we were raised, so manydifferent things, right? But in
our perfection, it delays usfrom putting things out. It
stops us from doing the thingthat we know we're supposed to
do. We know we're meant to do,but maybe we just don't know how

(01:44):
to quite make it come throughthe way we're imagining it. So
we don't put it out there, andthe longer that we don't put it
out there is the longer that thepeople that you're here to serve
are struggling. So put it outthere, messy, start doing the
things and leave a trail. Right?I was sharing on YouTube earlier

(02:10):
that I was going to switch myFacebook Live videos over to
YouTube, because with Facebookchanging their live policy on
how long they're stored andeverything, but one of the
things that people comment aboutis, whenever I'm doing video,
it's how comfortable I seem oncamera, and I'll just go live
anywhere, and that's a skillthat I've built up, right? So I

(02:34):
love being able to send peopleto the original like, Yes, this
is what I look like now, this iswhat you get now. This is what
comes through now. But go lookat my beginning, because that's
where you are, and you're tryingto compare your beginning to my
years of practice. And it's notgoing to be the same, right? So

(02:55):
go back to my beginning. See theshit, when it was messy, see the
errors, see the bloopers, seethe oh, I fucking pushed the
wrong button and, like, stoppedthe whole thing in the middle of
it, right? I literally did thatearlier today on the YouTube
Live, because I don't, I haven'tgone live on YouTube, and it was
my first time doing it, and Iwas screen sharing. I was like,

(03:16):
in the screen share, or so Ithought. And I ended the whole
fucking live. And so I poppedback on with another live,
finishing up what I was tryingto say in the first one, right?
And I'm keeping that becauseit's okay to have these
missteps, and we have thesemissteps, and as we're learning
and growing and trying newthings, we're not gonna get 100%

(03:40):
right, like especially not thefirst few times, we may never
get it 100 fucking percentright, right. And people need to
see that, because otherwisewe're setting them up for, not
necessarily failure, but we'resetting them up to be harder on

(04:01):
themselves than they need to be,right? We're setting them up to
enter into that state of mindthat says, like, oh well, like,
these people are doing it, andI'm trying to do it, but I'm
messing up left, right andcenter, but they didn't mess up
left, right and center. And it'snot that they didn't fucking
mess up. They did. They did, butthey didn't share it or show it.

(04:26):
So the image that people areseeing is this, oh, they're
always polished, oh, it's alwaysperfect, oh, it's always just
right. There is no error, thereis no mistake. And what it sets
up is there must be somethingwrong with me if I can't do it

(04:47):
to that standard, but otherpeople are doing it to that
standard, and as role models,we're doing we're doing the
people who are meant to see usand meant to be inspired by us,
a disservice in that, right?Like, yes, be inspiring, be

(05:09):
amazing. Have your shittogether. And also remember to
step back and, like, let peopleknow that, hey, it's not always
together, right? I'm stillfunctioning. I'm still thriving,
I'm still doing this, and it'snot always together, or maybe it
looks very, very together, andinside, I'm always fucking

(05:30):
terrified. It just doesn't comeacross, right? And I think it's
so crucial to let people seethat, so that we can normalize
the process of growing inwhatever it is that you're
inspiring people to do whateverpath it is that you are walking

(05:52):
and leading people on. I thinkwe owe it to them to let go of
the perfection get the thingthat can help them out there to
them, and also let them knowthat, yes, there is stumbling
along the way, and from time totime, let them be able to see

(06:12):
our stumbles. That's what Iwanted to share with you
tonight.