February 18, 2025 • 23 mins
Episode #192
In this week's episode, Terri shares two mindset shifts that you can experience in your journey. First, she talks about the common question of whether "this ever gets easier". Then she discusses reframing the steps you take in the journey as self-care, even when they aren't easy or fun or what you are used to doing.
Summary Timestamps:
- Does it ever get easier to fast? (01:45)
- Terri’s experience. (03:42)
- Everyone’s experience varies. (04:31)
- Does it ever get easier to make healthier food choices? (06:02)
- Finding foods that work well for your body. (06:23)
- Terri’s experience of giving up sugar. (07:36)
- How things feel different and get easier over time but to expect to still think about it sometimes. (10:48)
- The concept of self-care and how it relates to healthy habits. (12:49)
- Confusing ‘comfort foods’ with self-care. (15:20)
- Reframing self-care. (18:47)
- What do you do every day that is self-care? (21:19)
Chapters:
00:00 Disclaimer
02:03 Does fasting ever get easier?
06:04 Does making food-choice changes get easier?
12:49 The importance of self-care.
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Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional care by a doctor or other qualified medical professional. You should always speak with your physician or other healthcare professional before doing any fasting, changing your diet, taking or adjusting any medication or supplements, or adopting any treatment for a health problem. The use of any other products or services purchased by you as a result of this podcast does not create a healthcare provider-patient relationship between you and any of the experts affiliated with this podcast. Information and statements regarding dietary supplements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
Before we get started with today's episode,
I would like to quickly read you our podcast
disclaimer.
This podcast is for educational purposes
only, and it is not a substitute
for professional care by a doctor
or other qualified medical professional.
You should always speak with your physician
(00:27):
or other healthcare professionals before doing
any fasting, changing your diet
in any way, taking or adjusting
any medications or supplements, or
adopting any treatment plan
for a health problem.
The use of any other products or
services purchased by you as a result
of this podcast does not create
(00:50):
a healthcare provider-patient relationship
between you and any of the experts
affiliated with this podcast.
Any information and statements
regarding dietary supplements have not
been evaluated by the Food and Drug
Administration and are not intended
to diagnose, treat, cure, or
(01:11):
prevent any disease.
All right. And now we'll get started with
today's episode.
Hello and welcome to another episode
of The Fasting Method podcast.
This is Coach Terri Lance and this
is a solo episode.
I wanted to talk with you today about a
couple of topics that have been
(01:33):
coming up a lot lately with my clients
and in the TFM Community,
so I thought it would be worthwhile to
talk with you here in the podcast about
them.
The first one is a very
common question.
Clients have been asking, people
have been asking in larger Community group
(01:54):
meetings and in the forum.
It's a question that might seem kind of
obvious, but I think the answer is
worth kind of finessing a little bit.
The question is, "Does it ever get easier?"
Sometimes people are asking about
fasting and maybe
increasing their fasting length.
(02:14):
Maybe they're talking about, you know,
increasing to a 24-hour, or a
36, or a 48, or an extended
fast.
And so they ask, "Does it ever get easier?
Do you ever get to the point where you're not
thinking about breaking your fast or thinking
about food the whole time?" Sometimes
the question is about food.
Oftentimes, people who are really
(02:36):
working on their health and weight loss are
focusing on what foods
work well for their body and what foods
don't.
And the foods that don't, they work on either
minimizing their consumption of
them or possibly even eliminating
them. So again, the question comes up, "Does
it ever get easier?" Does it ever get easier
(02:59):
to not have dessert
after a meal when everyone else around
you is eating something more problematic?
Does it ever get easier going to restaurants
and ordering the food that works for you
rather than what everyone else
in your group is ordering?
So you may find that you've been wondering
(03:19):
some of these things as you are working on
building your fasting skills and
addressing your food choices.
I wish I had one simple answer to share,
but, instead, like I said, I think this
deserves a little bit of, kind of, digging
in.
One of the reasons questions like this
sometimes are challenging is because it
(03:39):
depends on who you ask and when
you ask them.
Now, I'm at a point in my fasting
career where, if someone says,
"Does fasting ever get easier?"
really quickly, I can give a resounding, "Yes,
it does," but that doesn't mean
for everyone it does or that
(04:00):
it does in the same ways.
For me, getting beyond the 24-hour
mark is no longer something
that I have much of a response
to. When I'm fasting,
I prefer an alternate-day
fast because, once I'm in the fast,
I'm not thinking about food.
(04:20):
Now, what I do on an eating day, that's a
whole different thing, but the fasting
day itself actually has become
a lot easier for me.
But I've been doing this for a long time.
And so you might find, in your
journey, there may be times
where you notice it is getting easier.
I've even had some clients recently who were
(04:42):
surprised early on
how much easier some of their fasts were
than they expected them to be.
Now, of course, many people experience
it's challenging to fast for
so many reasons. They
use the fasting aids and they use all
of the support that we talk about,
(05:03):
and they still find it to be challenging.
One of the reasons I wanted to say that is
because I think sometimes this
is one of those examples where people compare
themselves.
If they hear someone in a podcast episode
or they hear someone in one of our TFM
Community group meetings that says
(05:23):
that fasting is easy for them,
they may look at themselves and their
experience, and feel down or feel
frustrated that why is it easy
for someone else but difficult for them.
And what I want to encourage you is that
it varies.
For many people, aspects of
it get easier.
Some aspects may not.
(05:46):
For example, if you live with a family,
what you do during mealtime on your
fasting days, you might find that that's
always a challenging time.
I'm going to address that, in a moment, in the
second half of this podcast on
a different topic.
And then the other one, again, as I said,
people question, "Is making
(06:06):
the changes that I'm making with
my food choices ever going
to get easier?
Am I ever going to not want that food?
Am I ever not going to think about
it fondly and wish that
I were eating it?"
And, again, my answer is that it varies.
One of the things that I think helps so
(06:27):
many people with this is
that, if they find foods
that work well for their body that they
enjoy, the intensity
of missing other foods--
and generally, for most of us, those are more
processed foods or just, in general,
more problematic foods.
(06:47):
If we are enjoying our food when we
eat, there's less space
for feeling deprived
or feeling like we're just not
enjoying food because
we stopped eating a certain thing, or we
stopped eating a certain category of foods,
or a certain way.
So making sure that,
(07:08):
as you select your approach
to eating, that you make sure that
the foods you eat are foods that you like.
Now, I think there's a big difference between
enjoying what we eat and being
entertained, or it
being the biggest highlight of our day.
I think, for many of us, those things get us
in trouble with food.
(07:30):
But enjoying your food, I think
is a healthy approach and many of us
have to work on that.
About eight months ago (a little over
eight months, maybe, when this episode comes
out), I stopped eating sugar.
And one thing that I have found, since I
stopped eating it, is that
I actually think about it a lot less
(07:50):
than when I was eating it.
And that might sound weird because, some of
us, when we maybe eliminate
or stop engaging with
certain foods, we think about them a lot.
And, of course, in the beginning I did,
but, at this point, it is on my radar
so less frequently.
I often share this example
(08:12):
in Community meetings and with my clients.
When I go to places where
the sugary things that I would have eaten in
the past are available,
I am surprised how little
it affects me now.
There have been other times in my life where I
wasn't doing sugar and I
avoided them.
(08:33):
I kept my distance from those
scenarios where sugar was
available and flowing freely.
But even just today, I walked through a
grocery store.
I was heading to get some meat
and cheese, and,
where this store has that section
(08:53):
located, you have to walk through the bakery.
There's really no way to get there unless you
go right through the bakery.
Now, I'm sure that's intentional on their
part, but, in the past,
if I was
attempting not to be eating sugar often
due to my health and my weight
and my overall self-care goals,
(09:16):
I would have found it difficult.
It would be like walking the bakery gauntlet,
just struggling with each step,
looking at each thing that I'm not
going to buy, or maybe I should.
And I would have all of this energy
wrapped up in thinking about
it, debating, reminiscing,
(09:38):
being irritated, being sad,
all of these things.
And what I found-- recently, I have
found that, when I walk through, I just think,
"Oh yeah, I remember when I used to eat those
things." And today
I noticed that I really didn't even
look down. And it wasn't because I was running
the gauntlet and just trying to quickly get to
(09:59):
where the meat and cheese were, but
I really just kind of looked around almost
like they didn't matter because
they're not my food.
And some of you know, that's a saying that
I've promoted for many years,
but, today, it really became clear to
me that those baked goods, those sugary
(10:19):
items are no longer
my foods.
And so there's no pleasure, even, in looking
at them and reminiscing and debating,
just like I don't eat fish.
And so when I go by the fish section,
I don't stop and gaze
at each fish and think, "Ooo, would
(10:39):
I like that one or that one?" and, "Oh,
remember when I had that before?"
Now, sugar items are
starting to feel like that.
So I say this not because it's
going to work the same for all of us,
but because I want you to know that it's
possible that it feels different
over time.
(10:59):
Anything we do initially
feels one way, but, if we do it long
enough, we often have a different experience
of it. So I want to encourage you
that, as you think about your fasting,
going longer hours between meals,
doing TRE (time-restricted
eating) consistently, and
(11:20):
even making different choices of foods
that it can become easier.
But I also always want people to know,
based on why these things are so complicated
for us, it never surprises
me when someone says, "I still
think about it."
I compare that to something like
(11:40):
when someone stop smoking.
Often times I've talked to ex
smokers who will say every
now and then I finish a nice meal
and for a moment I think about
wanting a cigaret because that was one of
their favorite times to smoke.
Or when they get really stressed out at
(12:01):
work.
It goes through their mind that this
is when they would like to go outside and take
a cigaret break.
Now they don't do these behaviors because it's
no longer part of their life.
But it doesn't mean that the urge
doesn't exist.
So I want to encourage you to to really
just accept and continue to work
(12:22):
on. I can resist
urges. I can do something in place
of acting on the urges, and
I don't need the urge to go away
in order to be successful.
I think that you will find over time
that the urges lose
some of their power and
(12:43):
the less often you engage them,
the more power they lose.
So the other topic that I wanted to talk about
today is an idea
that is talked about so commonly
now in so many circles -
in podcasts, in books,
in TED Talks - and the topic
(13:04):
is self-care.
For the past couple of months, I would say,
I've been using this term more and more
because I feel like it's the
really positive,
'moving us forward in our goals'
way of talking about all of these
behaviors.
And self-care, for most of us,
(13:25):
I hope, has a positive connotation.
It doesn't sound like deprivation, it doesn't
sound difficult or painful,
and it's what we're really trying to
do.
If you say, "Well, I want to be fasting
and eating differently because I want
to live longer and keep my mobility
longer," "I want to avoid
(13:47):
developing five, chronic, health
concerns in the next ten years,"
"I want to keep my weight
at a healthy place for me
so that I feel free in my
body and can be active,"
"I want to wear those certain clothes," or
whatever your reasons are, all
(14:07):
of that is self care.
It's how are you taking care of your body,
how are you taking care of your
mind, and how are you taking care of your
emotions?
Why is it that self-care gets talked
about so often at TFM?
You may have heard, in other episodes,
references to the idea that this is more about
(14:29):
a lifestyle rather than a diet.
And I really want to emphasize,
I think, for most of us, when we think of
dieting, it doesn't sound like
self-care.
It sounds really difficult, it sounds
a little punishing, and
it does not sound like fun.
So it tends to have like that almost
(14:50):
dread response when we think about
it. But working on developing
healthy habits and a healthy lifestyle
that helps us to feel the way we want
to feel, and helps our body to work the
way we want our body to be able to work,
that doesn't sound negative.
That doesn't sound punitive
(15:11):
or dreadful.
So I encourage you to really focus
on is what you are working on is self-care.
Now, one of the complexities of the concept
of self-care, I think, is
how we've all learned about
self-care and what we have
learned to consider self-care
(15:33):
acts.
So, for example, someone has a really
stressful day at work.
They stop and they get their favorite
dessert on the way home, thinking,
"I deserve to feel
good tonight.
I deserve to get out of this bad
mood that I'm in from that stress at work."
(15:53):
So, "I deserve this dessert,"
rather than, "How can I
take care of myself?
I'm frustrated.
I'm stressed." We go to
this, "I need to amuse myself
with food," "I need to calm myself
with food," all of these other ways
that food is used problematically,
(16:15):
because no one that I've ever talked to
means, "I'm really stressed,
so I'm going to go soothe myself with
broccoli." We've learned that
'soothing', or 'treating',
or 'rewarding', any of those words,
that it's about problematic
things that give us that dopamine hit
(16:36):
or that just kind of numb us out
for a little bit.
So the other day, in the TFM
Community meeting, someone
brought in this thing that they had heard
in another podcast and then
shared the source.
And it was just this beautiful statement about
self-care.
(16:56):
And the reason I think it was so powerful
(it was definitely one of those mic-drop
moments) is that
what the author was talking about
was that-- in what this Community member
shared that this author had said
or had written is that
we really have to look at it differently,
(17:17):
because sometimes we think of self-care as
those really plush-feeling
things, like a bubble bath, and,
you know, a cushy robe, and a nice box
of chocolates.
That's what we think of sometimes when we say
self-care.
And in actuality, for many of us,
based on our health and what's going on with
(17:37):
our weight and various things
going on for us, those were
actually harmful things or,
if not harmful, at least
not moving us forward, maybe
making us feel better for a moment or two
or maybe 15, but not really
moving us forward in our lives.
And so what this author had said basically
(18:00):
is, you know, sometimes self-care,
it's really the unbeautiful things.
It's turning your car in the other direction
and not going through that drive-thru,
it's sitting down with your friends
who are eating on your fasting day
and only having water.
Now, again, none of these things are horrible
(18:21):
forms of self punishment,
but they're certainly not as much fun as
some of the other options.
And for many of us, they're not how we think
self-care would look,
but self-care is doing the things
that helps you build the life that you want,
the health that you want, the longevity
(18:42):
that you want, the body
composition that you want.
So I encourage everyone to start thinking
about what is self-care.
What do you mean when you think of the phrase
'self-care'?
Are you choosing things that
feel good, calm you,
(19:02):
or soothe you, or
are entertaining, fun,
or enjoyable in the moment
but lead to consequences
that you don't like?
For example, when I was talking about those
sugary, baked goods, I enjoyed
those a lot and it was easy to think that
(19:23):
that was me being nice to myself,
but, when I look at the resulting blood sugar
and the years of medication
and everything that came with that, now,
suddenly, buying myself one
of those treats doesn't really feel like
self-care.
It really feels like I'm doing something to
interfere with my goals or maybe even
(19:45):
harm myself.
So I encourage you to start thinking about
how are you using that phrase?
What is self-care to you?
And some of it may be that bubble bath
or, you know, buying those
nice cushioned slippers,
but, when it comes to taking
(20:05):
care of your body, taking care
of your mind and
your emotions, are you engaging
in self-care?
What would this journey feel like if you
reframed it as, "I'm going to
do things that serve
me, that actually are self-care."
(20:27):
Many times, when people are struggling with
what foods to eat and wanting to
eat things that are problematic
for them, this is part of the problem
because they're caught up on, "But that
feels like self-care because I enjoy
them." You know, "My family
and I enjoy them together, so clearly that's
good for me. That's a good self-care
(20:48):
thing." But if it's causing me to have
more health concerns, or if it's causing me
to gain weight, or be unable
to lose weight, is that
self-care?
And can I look at things differently?
What can I do for self-care?
What can I do to ease stress
(21:09):
when I've gone through a difficult day?
What can I do to
reinforce things that I'm
proud of, that I've achieved?
I want to challenge everyone listening
to really sit down and think
about self-care - caring
for yourself - what does it look like?
(21:30):
What are the steps?
What are the daily things you do that are
self-care?
Many of us, when we actually sit
down and think about this, we're going to
recognize that there aren't a lot
of things that we're doing that are actually
geared toward caring for
ourselves, and those things that
we thought were are actually
(21:53):
not quite filling that definition.
So this gives us an opportunity to
change that, to start focusing
on this as a positive journey,
not a 'getting rid
of all the things you love' journey
or 'doing things that are hard'
journey.
(22:13):
This is self-care.
This is the good stuff.
So I encourage you, after you listen
to this, start reflecting on "What is your
self-care?" and tying this
back to the earlier question of, "Does it
ever get easier to fast,
or to eat differently, or to
do things differently than those people around
(22:36):
me?" I encourage you
to be open to the idea that
self-care may mean
that, sometimes, even though
it doesn't feel easier, it's still
the good self-care thing to do.
It's still a gift that you can give yourself.
And I think by reframing that aspect
(22:57):
of it, the fact that it didn't necessarily
get easier to do, that
it might not be easier right now to not
break this fast early because everyone else is
eating, even though that may not have gotten
easier, it now feels better
making the decision to follow through
with the plan because you know
(23:19):
you are really committing to self-care.
All right, everyone. I hope that both of these
topics today, and the way that
they kind of weave together, is useful
for you, and I will look forward to coming
back again soon with another episode for
you. Until then, happy fasting
take good care of you.
Before we get started with today's episode,
I would like to quickly read you our podcast
disclaimer.
This podcast is for educational purposes
only, and it is not a substitute
for professional care by a doctor
or other qualified medical professional.
You should always speak with your physician
(00:27):
or other healthcare professionals before doing
any fasting, changing your diet
in any way, taking or adjusting
any medications or supplements, or
adopting any treatment plan
for a health problem.
The use of any other products or
services purchased by you as a result
of this podcast does not create
(00:50):
a healthcare provider-patient relationship
between you and any of the experts
affiliated with this podcast.
Any information and statements
regarding dietary supplements have not
been evaluated by the Food and Drug
Administration and are not intended
to diagnose, treat, cure, or
(01:11):
prevent any disease.
All right. And now we'll get started with
today's episode.
Hello and welcome to another episode
of The Fasting Method podcast.
This is Coach Terri Lance and this
is a solo episode.
I wanted to talk with you today about a
couple of topics that have been
(01:33):
coming up a lot lately with my clients
and in the TFM Community,
so I thought it would be worthwhile to
talk with you here in the podcast about
them.
The first one is a very
common question.
Clients have been asking, people
have been asking in larger Community group
(01:54):
meetings and in the forum.
It's a question that might seem kind of
obvious, but I think the answer is
worth kind of finessing a little bit.
The question is, "Does it ever get easier?"
Sometimes people are asking about
fasting and maybe
increasing their fasting length.
(02:14):
Maybe they're talking about, you know,
increasing to a 24-hour, or a
36, or a 48, or an extended
fast.
And so they ask, "Does it ever get easier?
Do you ever get to the point where you're not
thinking about breaking your fast or thinking
about food the whole time?" Sometimes
the question is about food.
Oftentimes, people who are really
(02:36):
working on their health and weight loss are
focusing on what foods
work well for their body and what foods
don't.
And the foods that don't, they work on either
minimizing their consumption of
them or possibly even eliminating
them. So again, the question comes up, "Does
it ever get easier?" Does it ever get easier
(02:59):
to not have dessert
after a meal when everyone else around
you is eating something more problematic?
Does it ever get easier going to restaurants
and ordering the food that works for you
rather than what everyone else
in your group is ordering?
So you may find that you've been wondering
(03:19):
some of these things as you are working on
building your fasting skills and
addressing your food choices.
I wish I had one simple answer to share,
but, instead, like I said, I think this
deserves a little bit of, kind of, digging
in.
One of the reasons questions like this
sometimes are challenging is because it
(03:39):
depends on who you ask and when
you ask them.
Now, I'm at a point in my fasting
career where, if someone says,
"Does fasting ever get easier?"
really quickly, I can give a resounding, "Yes,
it does," but that doesn't mean
for everyone it does or that
(04:00):
it does in the same ways.
For me, getting beyond the 24-hour
mark is no longer something
that I have much of a response
to. When I'm fasting,
I prefer an alternate-day
fast because, once I'm in the fast,
I'm not thinking about food.
(04:20):
Now, what I do on an eating day, that's a
whole different thing, but the fasting
day itself actually has become
a lot easier for me.
But I've been doing this for a long time.
And so you might find, in your
journey, there may be times
where you notice it is getting easier.
I've even had some clients recently who were
(04:42):
surprised early on
how much easier some of their fasts were
than they expected them to be.
Now, of course, many people experience
it's challenging to fast for
so many reasons. They
use the fasting aids and they use all
of the support that we talk about,
(05:03):
and they still find it to be challenging.
One of the reasons I wanted to say that is
because I think sometimes this
is one of those examples where people compare
themselves.
If they hear someone in a podcast episode
or they hear someone in one of our TFM
Community group meetings that says
(05:23):
that fasting is easy for them,
they may look at themselves and their
experience, and feel down or feel
frustrated that why is it easy
for someone else but difficult for them.
And what I want to encourage you is that
it varies.
For many people, aspects of
it get easier.
Some aspects may not.
(05:46):
For example, if you live with a family,
what you do during mealtime on your
fasting days, you might find that that's
always a challenging time.
I'm going to address that, in a moment, in the
second half of this podcast on
a different topic.
And then the other one, again, as I said,
people question, "Is making
(06:06):
the changes that I'm making with
my food choices ever going
to get easier?
Am I ever going to not want that food?
Am I ever not going to think about
it fondly and wish that
I were eating it?"
And, again, my answer is that it varies.
One of the things that I think helps so
(06:27):
many people with this is
that, if they find foods
that work well for their body that they
enjoy, the intensity
of missing other foods--
and generally, for most of us, those are more
processed foods or just, in general,
more problematic foods.
(06:47):
If we are enjoying our food when we
eat, there's less space
for feeling deprived
or feeling like we're just not
enjoying food because
we stopped eating a certain thing, or we
stopped eating a certain category of foods,
or a certain way.
So making sure that,
(07:08):
as you select your approach
to eating, that you make sure that
the foods you eat are foods that you like.
Now, I think there's a big difference between
enjoying what we eat and being
entertained, or it
being the biggest highlight of our day.
I think, for many of us, those things get us
in trouble with food.
(07:30):
But enjoying your food, I think
is a healthy approach and many of us
have to work on that.
About eight months ago (a little over
eight months, maybe, when this episode comes
out), I stopped eating sugar.
And one thing that I have found, since I
stopped eating it, is that
I actually think about it a lot less
(07:50):
than when I was eating it.
And that might sound weird because, some of
us, when we maybe eliminate
or stop engaging with
certain foods, we think about them a lot.
And, of course, in the beginning I did,
but, at this point, it is on my radar
so less frequently.
I often share this example
(08:12):
in Community meetings and with my clients.
When I go to places where
the sugary things that I would have eaten in
the past are available,
I am surprised how little
it affects me now.
There have been other times in my life where I
wasn't doing sugar and I
avoided them.
(08:33):
I kept my distance from those
scenarios where sugar was
available and flowing freely.
But even just today, I walked through a
grocery store.
I was heading to get some meat
and cheese, and,
where this store has that section
(08:53):
located, you have to walk through the bakery.
There's really no way to get there unless you
go right through the bakery.
Now, I'm sure that's intentional on their
part, but, in the past,
if I was
attempting not to be eating sugar often
due to my health and my weight
and my overall self-care goals,
(09:16):
I would have found it difficult.
It would be like walking the bakery gauntlet,
just struggling with each step,
looking at each thing that I'm not
going to buy, or maybe I should.
And I would have all of this energy
wrapped up in thinking about
it, debating, reminiscing,
(09:38):
being irritated, being sad,
all of these things.
And what I found-- recently, I have
found that, when I walk through, I just think,
"Oh yeah, I remember when I used to eat those
things." And today
I noticed that I really didn't even
look down. And it wasn't because I was running
the gauntlet and just trying to quickly get to
(09:59):
where the meat and cheese were, but
I really just kind of looked around almost
like they didn't matter because
they're not my food.
And some of you know, that's a saying that
I've promoted for many years,
but, today, it really became clear to
me that those baked goods, those sugary
(10:19):
items are no longer
my foods.
And so there's no pleasure, even, in looking
at them and reminiscing and debating,
just like I don't eat fish.
And so when I go by the fish section,
I don't stop and gaze
at each fish and think, "Ooo, would
(10:39):
I like that one or that one?" and, "Oh,
remember when I had that before?"
Now, sugar items are
starting to feel like that.
So I say this not because it's
going to work the same for all of us,
but because I want you to know that it's
possible that it feels different
over time.
(10:59):
Anything we do initially
feels one way, but, if we do it long
enough, we often have a different experience
of it. So I want to encourage you
that, as you think about your fasting,
going longer hours between meals,
doing TRE (time-restricted
eating) consistently, and
(11:20):
even making different choices of foods
that it can become easier.
But I also always want people to know,
based on why these things are so complicated
for us, it never surprises
me when someone says, "I still
think about it."
I compare that to something like
(11:40):
when someone stop smoking.
Often times I've talked to ex
smokers who will say every
now and then I finish a nice meal
and for a moment I think about
wanting a cigaret because that was one of
their favorite times to smoke.
Or when they get really stressed out at
(12:01):
work.
It goes through their mind that this
is when they would like to go outside and take
a cigaret break.
Now they don't do these behaviors because it's
no longer part of their life.
But it doesn't mean that the urge
doesn't exist.
So I want to encourage you to to really
just accept and continue to work
(12:22):
on. I can resist
urges. I can do something in place
of acting on the urges, and
I don't need the urge to go away
in order to be successful.
I think that you will find over time
that the urges lose
some of their power and
(12:43):
the less often you engage them,
the more power they lose.
So the other topic that I wanted to talk about
today is an idea
that is talked about so commonly
now in so many circles -
in podcasts, in books,
in TED Talks - and the topic
(13:04):
is self-care.
For the past couple of months, I would say,
I've been using this term more and more
because I feel like it's the
really positive,
'moving us forward in our goals'
way of talking about all of these
behaviors.
And self-care, for most of us,
(13:25):
I hope, has a positive connotation.
It doesn't sound like deprivation, it doesn't
sound difficult or painful,
and it's what we're really trying to
do.
If you say, "Well, I want to be fasting
and eating differently because I want
to live longer and keep my mobility
longer," "I want to avoid
(13:47):
developing five, chronic, health
concerns in the next ten years,"
"I want to keep my weight
at a healthy place for me
so that I feel free in my
body and can be active,"
"I want to wear those certain clothes," or
whatever your reasons are, all
(14:07):
of that is self care.
It's how are you taking care of your body,
how are you taking care of your
mind, and how are you taking care of your
emotions?
Why is it that self-care gets talked
about so often at TFM?
You may have heard, in other episodes,
references to the idea that this is more about
(14:29):
a lifestyle rather than a diet.
And I really want to emphasize,
I think, for most of us, when we think of
dieting, it doesn't sound like
self-care.
It sounds really difficult, it sounds
a little punishing, and
it does not sound like fun.
So it tends to have like that almost
(14:50):
dread response when we think about
it. But working on developing
healthy habits and a healthy lifestyle
that helps us to feel the way we want
to feel, and helps our body to work the
way we want our body to be able to work,
that doesn't sound negative.
That doesn't sound punitive
(15:11):
or dreadful.
So I encourage you to really focus
on is what you are working on is self-care.
Now, one of the complexities of the concept
of self-care, I think, is
how we've all learned about
self-care and what we have
learned to consider self-care
(15:33):
acts.
So, for example, someone has a really
stressful day at work.
They stop and they get their favorite
dessert on the way home, thinking,
"I deserve to feel
good tonight.
I deserve to get out of this bad
mood that I'm in from that stress at work."
(15:53):
So, "I deserve this dessert,"
rather than, "How can I
take care of myself?
I'm frustrated.
I'm stressed." We go to
this, "I need to amuse myself
with food," "I need to calm myself
with food," all of these other ways
that food is used problematically,
(16:15):
because no one that I've ever talked to
means, "I'm really stressed,
so I'm going to go soothe myself with
broccoli." We've learned that
'soothing', or 'treating',
or 'rewarding', any of those words,
that it's about problematic
things that give us that dopamine hit
(16:36):
or that just kind of numb us out
for a little bit.
So the other day, in the TFM
Community meeting, someone
brought in this thing that they had heard
in another podcast and then
shared the source.
And it was just this beautiful statement about
self-care.
(16:56):
And the reason I think it was so powerful
(it was definitely one of those mic-drop
moments) is that
what the author was talking about
was that-- in what this Community member
shared that this author had said
or had written is that
we really have to look at it differently,
(17:17):
because sometimes we think of self-care as
those really plush-feeling
things, like a bubble bath, and,
you know, a cushy robe, and a nice box
of chocolates.
That's what we think of sometimes when we say
self-care.
And in actuality, for many of us,
based on our health and what's going on with
(17:37):
our weight and various things
going on for us, those were
actually harmful things or,
if not harmful, at least
not moving us forward, maybe
making us feel better for a moment or two
or maybe 15, but not really
moving us forward in our lives.
And so what this author had said basically
(18:00):
is, you know, sometimes self-care,
it's really the unbeautiful things.
It's turning your car in the other direction
and not going through that drive-thru,
it's sitting down with your friends
who are eating on your fasting day
and only having water.
Now, again, none of these things are horrible
(18:21):
forms of self punishment,
but they're certainly not as much fun as
some of the other options.
And for many of us, they're not how we think
self-care would look,
but self-care is doing the things
that helps you build the life that you want,
the health that you want, the longevity
(18:42):
that you want, the body
composition that you want.
So I encourage everyone to start thinking
about what is self-care.
What do you mean when you think of the phrase
'self-care'?
Are you choosing things that
feel good, calm you,
(19:02):
or soothe you, or
are entertaining, fun,
or enjoyable in the moment
but lead to consequences
that you don't like?
For example, when I was talking about those
sugary, baked goods, I enjoyed
those a lot and it was easy to think that
(19:23):
that was me being nice to myself,
but, when I look at the resulting blood sugar
and the years of medication
and everything that came with that, now,
suddenly, buying myself one
of those treats doesn't really feel like
self-care.
It really feels like I'm doing something to
interfere with my goals or maybe even
(19:45):
harm myself.
So I encourage you to start thinking about
how are you using that phrase?
What is self-care to you?
And some of it may be that bubble bath
or, you know, buying those
nice cushioned slippers,
but, when it comes to taking
(20:05):
care of your body, taking care
of your mind and
your emotions, are you engaging
in self-care?
What would this journey feel like if you
reframed it as, "I'm going to
do things that serve
me, that actually are self-care."
(20:27):
Many times, when people are struggling with
what foods to eat and wanting to
eat things that are problematic
for them, this is part of the problem
because they're caught up on, "But that
feels like self-care because I enjoy
them." You know, "My family
and I enjoy them together, so clearly that's
good for me. That's a good self-care
(20:48):
thing." But if it's causing me to have
more health concerns, or if it's causing me
to gain weight, or be unable
to lose weight, is that
self-care?
And can I look at things differently?
What can I do for self-care?
What can I do to ease stress
(21:09):
when I've gone through a difficult day?
What can I do to
reinforce things that I'm
proud of, that I've achieved?
I want to challenge everyone listening
to really sit down and think
about self-care - caring
for yourself - what does it look like?
(21:30):
What are the steps?
What are the daily things you do that are
self-care?
Many of us, when we actually sit
down and think about this, we're going to
recognize that there aren't a lot
of things that we're doing that are actually
geared toward caring for
ourselves, and those things that
we thought were are actually
(21:53):
not quite filling that definition.
So this gives us an opportunity to
change that, to start focusing
on this as a positive journey,
not a 'getting rid
of all the things you love' journey
or 'doing things that are hard'
journey.
(22:13):
This is self-care.
This is the good stuff.
So I encourage you, after you listen
to this, start reflecting on "What is your
self-care?" and tying this
back to the earlier question of, "Does it
ever get easier to fast,
or to eat differently, or to
do things differently than those people around
(22:36):
me?" I encourage you
to be open to the idea that
self-care may mean
that, sometimes, even though
it doesn't feel easier, it's still
the good self-care thing to do.
It's still a gift that you can give yourself.
And I think by reframing that aspect
(22:57):
of it, the fact that it didn't necessarily
get easier to do, that
it might not be easier right now to not
break this fast early because everyone else is
eating, even though that may not have gotten
easier, it now feels better
making the decision to follow through
with the plan because you know
(23:19):
you are really committing to self-care.
All right, everyone. I hope that both of these
topics today, and the way that
they kind of weave together, is useful
for you, and I will look forward to coming
back again soon with another episode for
you. Until then, happy fasting
take good care of you.
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