265. Rewrite Your Unspoken Rules to Live Like You’re on Permanent Vacation with Marni Battista

What would it be like if your life felt a little bit more like a vacation? Now, before you freak out and go, that is for other people. That is not possible. That is for irresponsible people who don't have responsibilities and who don't have bills. That's not real life. I hear you. And I want you to know I've been one of those skeptics for years. 

But today, with this guest, Marni Battista, I think you're going to hear something you maybe haven't heard before. Marni helps you understand what unspoken rules and what invisible laws are running your life.

“I was just really inspired by the reinventing. That is possible if you follow your soul,” says Marni. 

Her first step is breaking down the “shoulds” in life. Question every assumption because the unspoken rules that we have about our lives and what things “should” look like are so baked in. 

For example, that you're not supposed to work on weekends, that you're supposed to close your laptop at 5:00 p.m., and that you're supposed to eat vegetables. All of these things are shoulds. 

“Think about it this way. If you've read a great fantasy book or you watch shows like Bridgerton or movies like Marvel … you either get in with the rules of the world or you go, “no, I can't get with this,” and you abandon it,” says Marni. “But once you're in, you don't question it. Fairies fly and Iron Man has a suit, whatever it is.”

Examine the world of your life. If you were going to share it with someone who didn’t know anything about you, what would the rules be? Those are the pieces that you can start to deconstruct what your shoulds are so that you then can begin to question, is this designed by me? For me? Is this essential, explains Marni.

“We are so focused on making other people happy and what's convenient for other people at the expense of our own flow and engagement,” says Marni.

Once you’ve identified your shoulds, you can ask: where did you learn this? Who told you this? How far back does it go?

“You can choose to keep them, by the way, of course, because not all shoulds are bad. And that's the point, consciously choosing them so that you are designing a life and a world that is aligned with who you really are at the core,” says Marni.

One small step at a time, you can start to make adjustments to your life to align it with your soul map. 

“Shoulds from the outside may or may not apply because you are living your life designed for you, not by everyone else,” says Marni. “That's why I say design a life you don't need to retire from. Find work that you love so much. You don't need to be free from it because it's just you doing your thing, and it doesn't even have to be paid work. It's just you living your gift. That's freedom.”

Marni says most people have the fear fantasy of being broke or homeless if they dare to pursue their dream life. She says they always come up with a safety net because it is real life, and people have to pay their bills. 

“Most people just imagine or dream a 10% variation of their current life,” says Marni, who adds that experimenting is what helps you unfold and uncover the things that are beyond the 10% you can imagine.

“Actually allowing your emotional self to have psychological safety so that you can start to intuit and bring information in,” says Marni. “There's no Thelma and Louise moment in this. We want to like, live life on your terms without blowing up the life that you have.”

Connect with Marni Battista: https://www.instituteforlivingcourageously.com/ 

Decode Your Destiny Quiz: https://www.decodeyourdestinyquiz.com/ 

Your Radical Living Challenge: 7 Questions for A Meaningful Life: 

Other GoG episodes you might want to check out:

Ready to Reinvent Yourself? A Conversation: .css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}