Touring History 6-3-25

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST - JUNE 3RD SCRIPT (10-15 MINUTES)

Co-hosts: Lane & Dave

 

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OPENING & SPONSOR INTRO

LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, where we dig through the calendar like archaeologists with abandonment issues. I'm Lane.

DAVE: And I'm Dave, and before we dive into today's historical buffet of chaos, let's talk about today's sponsor - Death Wish Coffee. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Oh great, another coffee company trying to convince me their beans will change my life."

LANE: But here's the thing - Death Wish Coffee actually might. This isn't your grandma's Maxwell House, Dave. We're talking about the world's strongest coffee, made from a blend of organic, Fair Trade certified arabica and robusta beans. 

DAVE: Founded by Mike Brown in Saratoga Springs, New York, back in 2012, because his coffee shop customers kept asking for "the strongest cup of coffee" and Mike thought, "You know what? Let me create something that could wake the dead." They won a Super Bowl commercial spot by beating out companies with five times their fanbase.

LANE: Plus, NASA sent this stuff to the International Space Station. If it's good enough for astronauts floating in the void of space, it's probably good enough for us floating in the void of existence. Check them out at deathwishcoffee.com.

 

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FAMOUS BIRTHDAYS

LANE: But first, the birthday section - because nothing says "historical significance" like arbitrarily celebrating the day people emerged from wombs.

DAVE: Born on June 3rd, 1986, we have Rafael Nadal, the Spanish tennis player who's won the French Open so many times, they should just rename it "Rafa's Annual Clay Court Victory Lap." Fourteen times, Lane. That's like me winning at procrastination, except his version requires actual athletic ability.

LANE: Also born today in 1967, Anderson Cooper, CNN's silver-haired beacon of journalistic integrity. Cooper's basically what happens when you combine good genes, excellent education, and the ability to maintain composure while the world burns around you. Must be nice.

DAVE: 1950 brought us Suzi Quatro, the leather-clad rock bassist who proved that you could be both fierce and tiny. She's like a musical honey badger - small, but absolutely not to be messed with.

LANE: And 1925 gave us Tony Curtis, the actor who proved that being devastatingly handsome could actually be a legitimate career path. Revolutionary concept.

 

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DUTCH WEST INDIA COMPANY CHARTERED (1621)

LANE: Now let's travel back to June 3rd, 1621, when the Dutch West India Company received its charter. Because nothing says "spreading civilization" quite like incorporating your colonial exploitation.

DAVE: The Dutch West India Company was basically the Amazon of the 17th century, except instead of delivering packages in two days, they delivered colonialism and the triangular slave trade. They were given a monopoly on Dutch trade in the Americas and West Africa for 24 years.

LANE: This company would go on to establish New Amsterdam, which we now call New York, and brought us the famous purchase of Manhattan for what's described as $24 worth of goods. In today's market, that wouldn't even cover a decent sandwich in that same Manhattan.

 

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"CASEY AT THE BAT" PUBLISHED (1888)

DAVE: Speaking of American institutions, June 3rd, 1888, saw the publication of "Casey at the Bat" in the San Francisco Examiner. This poem about baseball failure became more famous than most actual baseball players.

LANE: Written by Ernest Thayer, it's basically every spo