Episode 23 | "Best Of" Holiday Survival Series: Generational Trauma | Guest: Velveth Schmitz

This week concludes 2023's Holiday Survival Series with a best of episode: Overcoming Generational Trauma with my guest Velveth Schmitz. The intro is all-new with tips on how to manage being triggered and maintain boundaries during the holidays, especially when facing extended family or friends who may send you spiraling.

Remember, you do NOT have to sacrifice your hard-fought boundaries or mental health just for the sake of a "holiday get together." Put together an exit plan early, put strategies in place to get through tough situations, and set clear expectations for what you will and won't tolerate. The holidays are meant to be a wonderful time together with friends and family; not a time that sends you into emotional dispair.

If you haven't listened to this episode in its original format, get your notes app ready on how to break the cycle of generational trauma. 

For my guest, Velveth Schmitz, domestic violence was the cornerstone of her family's generational trauma, extending back nearly seven generations. Velveth, however, successfully broke the cycle of violence in her family; a story she shares with awe-inspiring vulnerability, transparency and grace. 

Now a CEO, former Mayor, fiercely loyal friend, wife, and mother raising two daughters, Velveth is a force to be reckoned with. She is beautifully open and intentional in her description of her predecessors' strength in the face of domestic challenges, as well as the inherited instincts and cellular trauma she had to overcome. While Velveth's love for her family and their experiences is raw and pure, she consciously chose the opposite path in raising her two now-teenage daughters. Velveth shares how she and her husband, Chuck, decided on their parenting philosophy and how they stay in sync during the many trying times we all face as parents.

Given Velveth and I are both mothers of daughters, we also have a frank discussion around body image, consent, and sexual education. I couldn't be more thankful for this amazing conversation, so get out your notepads. Velveth's perspective, tips, and resources on overcoming generational trauma -- no matter how minor -- and raising well-adjusted, empowered young women is invaluable. 

Resources:

1) Generational Trauma
It Didn't Start With You - Mark Wolynn
The Body Keeps The Score - Dr. Bessel Va Der Kolk
My Grandmother's Hands - Rasmaa Menakem

2) Parenting
Unconditional Parenting - Alfie Kohn
Non-Violent Communication - Marshall Rosenberg
Giving the Love That Heals - Harville Hendrix & Helen Hunt
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk - Faber and Maslich
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