Episode 39 | Tweens, Drunk Elephant & Sephora: Inside The Obsession | Guest: Natasha V. Glasgow, Esthetician & Elle Magazine Beauty Advisor - What Nobody Tells Us

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Christie Bishop (00:02):
I'm Christie Bishop, and you're listening to the what
nobody tells us podcast. Each
week, I'll be exploring a topic that's often
stigmatized, misunderstood, or simply
left unaddressed. And we're gonna be shedding light on the things that
nobody tells us but that everyone should know.
Let's get started.

(00:23):
Today's topic is a topic that
has taken the world by storm, and
particularly the tween world. The growing
obsession with skincare products and things like
skincare smoothies and ten step skincare
regimens for tweens, like, what
is happening? I first heard about this a few months ago, and
when we were in Paris over the holiday break, in

(00:45):
January, the line outside
Sephora on Champlain
was like, so long.
with tween girls, like young kids, I'm like, what is
happening? Then I started looking into it and started
talking to some of my friends who have tween girls and
teenage girls, and they're like, oh, Christie, you have no idea. Like,
drunk elephant is the brand of choice. They're looking at all

(01:08):
of these acids and these serums and these retinols and things that
are really dangerous for them. But on the plus
side, they're also educating themselves on
makeup and skincare routines. And in some cases,
they're educating their moms. Oh, mom, you've got some dark
spots. This is really what you could do about it. So
it's this fascinating topic.
So if you've been into a sephora, you know that

(01:30):
these beautiful, glossy aisles, I mean, it's very
strong smell with, the perfume, but these beautiful, glossy aisles,
and then you look online and there's these beautiful
packaging shots of drunk elephant and other
skincare brands. This has become a cultural
phenomenon amongst tweens. But I want to know what's
driving this obsession. I also wanted to talk
about what are the potential consequences of

(01:52):
starting a skincare routine that's very complex
at a very young age, because there are serious
dangers to it that I don't think a lot of parents are thinking
about. So I asked a
skincare expert, Natasha V. Glasgow, to join
me to help to demystify and start to explain
exactly what's going on. She has years of experience in
the industry, and she has a deep understanding of science behind

(02:14):
skincare. Natasha shares her insights in the
background of this trend, the dangers of it, using
advanced products on young skin, and honestly,
most importantly, how parents can approach a subject with their
kids. So we cover it all. So
whether you're a parent who's just trying to make sense of
this trend. Or if you have a tween who has a sudden interest
in things like serums and face masks, pay

(02:37):
attention, don't ignore it. Or you might just be
curious, like me, and what this means for your young daughters as
they get older. This conversation is enlightening
and it's honest and it answers the questions. It gets into
it. I think you'll be fully prepared to have conversations with
your kids, and maybe, just maybe, learn
why they should not have $80

(02:57):
skincare at eleven years old. But hey, that's
just me. So enjoy this conversation with Natasha V.
Glasgow.
Hi, Natasha. Welcome to what nobody tells tells you us.

>> Natasha V. Glasgow (03:12):
Hi, Christie. Thank you for having me. I'm
so excited to be here.

You are so welcome. When our mutual
friend Carrie introduced us, I put out a call
for guests, as I often do. If I'm like, I have this
topic, it's either impacting me in my own life or it's
impacting tons of people and culture. I was like, I
need somebody to come on and talk about this Sephora
phenomenon with tweens because.

Yes.

So I'm m so thrilled that you're here to be the expert
voice.

Well, thank you. I'm honored to be here. This is
the topic amongst topics that are happening,
especially with parents
trying to understand how to navigate. This is a
minefield. And how are we supporting
the tweens? And more importantly, how are we supporting the
parents?

Yes, yes. And their pocketbooks. But we'll get to
that.
Before, before we do, I'd just love to dive into
your background a little bit to give some listeners, some
context around your expertise and your career in
beauty. So do you mind just kind of chatting about that for a few
minutes?

Yes, yes. So I'm a beauty advisor, a writer and a
researcher. I am a clean, non toxic beauty
expert and I also contribute to different media
outlets. Elle magazine, the Today show,
and new beauty magazine. I speak as an
expert in different fields and areas. I'm also a
licensed esthetician, so. So I speak to the skin
and about the skin. And then I also help people

(04:39):
navigate the beauty industry and world and products
and what they need and they don't need. And
my biggest passion and area of concentration
is putting out the truth,
whether that's the truth about
retinols and what they mean and what they are and how they
work and, you know, what's the research behind them, or
maybe it's about hyaluronic acid, but

(05:01):
the truth about what you need and you don't need and
how your skin really works, because the surprise is
that your skin actually knows what to do. So
I say that I'm a beauty expert for the people. So
I don't work for any brands, I don't have any
affiliation. I just want to get
the most
truthful information out there in

(05:24):
beauty, whether that's skincare, procedures,
products, etcetera. And that's where
the tween teen conversation is
really, capturing
me and saying, okay, natasha,
you, have all the expertise here to be a voice and
to be someone of support at this time. And so,

(05:45):
you know, that's why I'm here today.

So when you and I first chatted, one of the things
that this fascinated me and I was like, oh my
gosh, you actually did this. So you mentioned that you began
investigating tween girls fascination
with beauty products about a year ago. So can you tell
me what obviously as an aesthetician, as a
beauty expert, what initially piqued your interest in

(06:08):
exploring this? And I want to talk about your undercover,
activities as well.

Yes. well, I had heard
through the buzzes of,
the beauty industry that girls
as young as nine and ten years old
were going into Sephora and
making smoothies out of,
skincare products. And I thought,

(06:33):
oh, that's interesting. A, what's a
smoothie? B, these girls are super
young and that seems very
interesting. And so I started having
conversations with teens that I would come
across whether it was at our local bay club we have
and we were, you know, at the spa and I saw a teen,
someone more like 1718. I'd ask some questions,

(06:55):
hey, what are you doing for your skin and what's going on? I heard
these like young girls that are ten or are at
Sephora exploring all the products and they would give
me insight. And that's when I heard that it was actually, you
know, primarily drunk elephant, which
we can get into as well. But, I understand it's a, it's
a really catchy, product, you
know. and then it was discussed that

(07:17):
Twitter had offset this
phenomenon and I thought,
well, I need to go to Sephora and see this for myself because I
just, I just can't believe
that this is, I can't believe that
it's happening to such an extent. I can see a small
group doing it, but for it to be like
nationwide, and to

(07:40):
be so polarizing where every parent is
concerned and talking about it and all these things, but back then a
year ago, it wasn't really being discussed yet.
it didn't really feel like a problem that
needed to be addressed. and so there I went, kind
of exploring it and talking with my friends and maybe posting
a little something online and saying, hey, is anybody, you

(08:00):
know, is anyone's teens tweens? Like, mostly
tweens? Are they trying to dive in on these really
expensive beauty products and have these really, like, ten step
programs, mini fridges, you know, all of those things
that as adults were fascinated with and
want and might be a little over the top,
just, you know, no matter what age that
you're in. so

(08:23):
that's what kind of started it all.
And I also heard, I think the big thing
that bothered me, definitely the big thing that bothered
me was I heard that they were using
the retinols and the acid
products,
so we can get into what that means.
But when I heard that, my heart got very,

(08:44):
involved, my emotions got
very involved, and I was like,
oh, my gosh, there's no regulation around this.
Is sephora standing there and saying, no, no, no,
you can't. That section there is
resurfacing, brightening, major
active, these are very older
customers.

Who, like, actually have skin damage. Not for the little
ones whose skin has no issue.

Exactly. Those products actually create issues,
but we can get into that. So developmentally very
harmful. And that's where my heart got involved. And I was like,
okay, I need to know as much as I can, and I need to
tell as many people as I can about
all of it or whatever I can help with and support
with. and so then I was in New

(09:30):
York, and there was a
sephora, the one that is on Broadway. It's a
really popular one. And I was like, I'm gonna pop
in and I'm gonna hide my camera, and I
wanna see what's going on. So I went in, and
the drunk elephant section is there. And, you
know, I do. I have. There's another
conversation we can have about the fact that it's a drunk elephant.

(09:53):
It's not a sober elephant we're dealing with here. And
so there's a
lot of language like take a drunk break and
protein y is their most popular,
moisturizer. But I actually find an
opportunity there with that, with that brand. And so
I don't want to be negative here about it because I see a lot of
opportunity and education with all of it. but this

(10:15):
just is the brand we're speaking about and has been the most
popular for this topic and what the tweens
really love.

I used to use this brand, too, by the way. This was, like my go
to brand of choice about five or six years ago, and then I switched off,
but because it started becoming cost prohibitive now,
thinking that these children are using drunk
elephants.

Right.

The price point, just to let people know, is not.
It's not low like this is. It's like $50 to
$90. Things can be lower as 35, but, like, this
is fairly expensive stuff we're dealing
with.

Yes, you're right. And that's also another
conversation to be having, to support the parents
on that and the kids, because oftentimes it's just not
affordable. So it might just be off the table, but maybe
it's just one product that they want to
explore one time, and that's
enough to satisfy the urge

(11:06):
and the desire to be like their peers, to
explore. To explore it, because that is all
so natural. So if that household can afford the
one product, and it's.
It's just like, compared to maybe something
we wanted when we were kids. Maybe we wanted, a
certain lipstick or we wanted to try, you

(11:26):
know, this makeup at the drugstore. And our parents were like,
oh, my gosh, a full face. The makeup, like, that's gonna cost $50,
you know, and back when I grew up, that was,
you know, obviously a lot more than that sounds like
today. and so I liken it to that because
isn't that so similar in so many
ways?

Yeah, definitely.
So when you went into the store, and I know that I used to work in
the flatiron in New York. I know I've been into that
sephora, like, a bunch of times, and it's a big one. It's very
popular. Tons of foot traffic. So what did you find as
you went in kind of undercover?

I found that the section was,
you know, a little bit tousled. You know,
like some little hands had been,
you know, digging in for
some, like, missing things. And I did find a
smoothie, which is, for anyone who doesn't know, is
when, they take multiple products

(12:21):
and they put it all together. Mix it all together, though, like
bronzing drops, the moisturizer, a serum. and
it's that. That little, It's like,
ah, a little jar that you push
down. The cream comes up the top and kind of
leaves a little divot. So you can.
It's not supposed to be for this, but you could add some other things, mix it
all together, and they make a smoothie. Oh, is

(12:43):
that what you're.
Yeah, that's what they're doing at Sephora,
creating the smoothie and then putting it on their face.
and, you know, they leave a little bit of a mess.
And also, as I walked up, I noticed, you
know, in big, big letters across the whole display,
it said, take a drunk break. And that hit

(13:04):
me hard as well. I thought, man, like,
even if they may not be paying attention to it,
subconsciously, this stuff is coming in. And I think
it's a really good opportunity for parents to have a conversation
about what drunk is.
and maybe it's just an
appropriate, simple conversation, but I think it's a conversation we don't have
until later in life. And so let's

(13:26):
say. Let's just frame this as an
opportunity, okay? It's like, if they are
asking, what's drunk? And why is the elephant drunk? And, you
know, drunk break and all of this great. You know what? As
parents, we get to have a conversation about it. Is it the,
like, healthiest thing in the. The best,
like, my most favorite way to bring up the
conversation? No, but I think it

(13:48):
is. It's. It's just. It's
almost like it's forced upon us. What are we gonna do? Are we
gonna ignore the elephant in the room, or are we gonna
say, oh, my God, it's a drunk elephant? What does that mean? Let
me tell you what it means. so empowering them
with information and why they might brand it
that way. Maybe they're saying it's drunk

(14:09):
because, it's so full of
moisture, it's so full of hydration.
It's drunk with hydration. It's drunk with.
With products that are good for you. It's drunk with.
So something can be drunk without alcohol. Something can be drunk in
love. Drunken, you know? Right.

but it's an extreme drunk with vitamins, whatever. Nutrients, whatever
it might be. Yeah, sure.

Right. There's. We can. We can
reframe anything and create a
positive conversation while also
addressing the boundaries around
such things as well.

Yes, exactly.

Right? There's all of that to be talked about.
So back to the actual sephora moment. I am
just observing everything. I'm. Oh, wow,
look at this. I don't see any kiddos. but there's a
woman working there that approaches me and asks me how
I'm doing and if she can help me. And I
just very kindly, we had this great,

(15:05):
beautiful conversation, and I said, you know, m I'm
hearing that a lot of tweens are coming in, and I have a ten year
old daughter thinking of my ten year old daughter coming in here,
navigating these products. What do you do
with these kiddos when they come in and she's like,
oh, yeah, it's becoming very popular. You know,
I just tell them about the products
that would be,

(15:28):
that they could use that would keep their skin
hydrated and everything else. You know,
I just don't go into all the harsh things, and if they're grabbing
for it, I'll let them know, oh, that could hurt your skin.
Actually, that's for older skin. That's an
acid. I think the word acid can be scary.
and, and maybe that's a tool to
use that scary word because it actually, they

(15:51):
really should stay away from it. So harmful for them.
So, you know, using the coming
out, like, acid is, acids are so bad for
our young skin. It actually can burn you. it creates
dermatitis and eczema, psoriasis and other
skin conditions. Acne can start to present
at a way younger age because you've broken the barrier, the
mantle, and, there's all of

(16:13):
that, you know, to be discussed inside of that. yeah.
And so she was just lovely. She was. And I was so
surprised because I had a story I had
created in my mind that Sephora was just like,
let him gung ho, you know, just
rack it up at the, you know, at the counter. And
that really, wasn't the case. So I was, I was really

(16:33):
pleased. And every Sephora I went into
afterward, I live in California and I'll go into them. I mean,
I'm always in them. Every time I pass, when I go in to check it
out and see what's going on and I listen and I
observe and I see what the kids are doing, and I will be the
first person to. If there's kids there trying to, you
know, buy some of the acids and the
retinols, I will definitely put my two cent in it.

(16:56):
I'll be like, oh, my gosh. Like I am. I'm actually an esthetician.
And the kids that are putting that on their skin, they're, they're
getting burns. They're, you know, this is so harmful for
you. That is not. You don't use that.

That's, that's bad.

So I'll get in there and
I would love. I'd love to spend, you know, weeks at a
time inside of Sephora, standing next to that, and just
supporting kids questions and making sure that they stay
safe.

You should do a q and A. You should do, like, a live q and A. With
your clients kids, honestly, just as an
aside.

Yeah.

Like you genuinely should and start to do,
you know, obviously this podcast is one element of it, but I'm
just thinking about as Tessa, my daughter starts to ask questions
and she's not yet, but she would, you know, the little girls do all this thing. She
goes through my drawer, she goes through my makeup, she wants to
put on her face stuff as I'm putting on my face stuff. But like, my
face routine is very, very, very simple. It's all with

(17:48):
natural products and I'll explain what these things are. And like, she
grabbed for, what did she grab for like retinol the
other day, I was like, nope, nope. And so I explained what that
was and why that was not appropriate for her, all of these things.
So trying to give some sort of education the same way that you
do, you mentioned that this has been going on for
more than a year, but now that it's becoming

(18:08):
popular, you know, cultural zeitgeist or it's really here,
and every mom that I know is talking about it, at least who has
daughters. But where did this come from?
Like, do you, can you talk to the origins of this?
Like, do you know?

Yeah, first, of all, it's so
completely developmentally normal. I want to
touch on that again. It's the same thing we were
doing when we were ten years old. We just
had different access and
different information that we were playing with. And
our generation looked like going
through our mom's drawers, going through our

(18:44):
grandma's cabinets, finding the oil of a
lay or the cold cream
oil of ole guys.

absolutely.

Or if you had a local pharmacy that had a little section
of covergirl, you know, you'd go, but you couldn't
test it yet, but you could, you could save your money and
buy the one thing or, you know, and then take it home
and you and your friends would play and explore that.
So, developmentally and
historically, it comes from that, from the

(19:14):
normal curiosities.
as we grow up and as, we explore
our bodies, we explore and we watch how our
mothers navigate the world and
beauty, what we were exposed to in magazines and
movies and what our beauty icons look like
and what they do. And that can be so different in every

(19:34):
culture and in every, community.
And then we wanna, we want the role model and
we wanna mimic and we want to,
do the things that we feel will make us,
part of a tribe.

But the sense of belonging. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a survival mechanism, actually, to find a
tribe and tribe and to be accepted. And
so that element is really important
to start from a basic base.
Basic base. And then from
there, we are
influenced by our peers now, so we're influenced by
our family of origin, our mother, you know,

(20:13):
our culture, our community, and then
peers. And that becomes the most
polarizing dot on the human
experience at that age. So
there they are, seeing what their peers are doing, not
only their peers at school, but
thousands and hundreds of thousands of peers
online. And so then that brings us to social

(20:36):
media, and I think we all know that at
some point, we're talking about a social media
influence, that's so powerful and strong
and addicting and all those things. And
the kids just want to belong. They just. They just want to
do what everybody else is doing. Doing, whether
that's, you know, you know, you always say, like, you're not going to
jump off the bridge if Johnny jumps off the bridge. Like, they just

(20:58):
want to do that because Johnny's doing it and because everybody
else is doing it. And so it's the same thing
with exploring skincare, exploring,
gaming, you know, whatever it is that the
peers are doing, they want to. They want to jump onto
that.

Yeah.

And I think that's where we. I think that's where we.
Where we're at right now is right inside of the social media
stuff. The other part of how we got here
is, by the products being
so, the products are so
catchy. They're so
cute. And so
social media brought to our attention, look what's

(21:36):
available to us and how cute
it can be and how cute it will look,
like, you know, on your vanity. And it's kind of like
jewelry. It's like serving a lot of purposes. It's like,
it's like furniture, jewelry,
all of these aesthetics that are so
appealing. Even the feeling of the bottles

(21:56):
is like this soft, you know,
experience. So we have this, this physical,
visual, emotional attachment
to something, and boom, what power.

Yeah, that has
absolutely.
You and I chatted before this, and I think I brought up, the
example, you know, the home edit we've all seen. It's like
the, the home organization. There's two, two girls. I forget their
name, but they're fabulous. And so they have millions and millions of followers, and,
like, they had a post probably, I want to say, a month or two
ago, that was very, very

(22:28):
divisive. and this goes to the question that I have next for you.
They essentially had this, you know, they, I think they live in Tennessee, and the
houses in Tennessee are a lot bigger, they're a lot cheaper. You and I both live in
California. Like, they have things that we don't have because we don't pay millions of
dollars for them. But one of the things they have is these
vanity drawers in one of the daughter's,
bathrooms. And it was probably, you know, 2ft
wide. And inside of it, the home edit or they're known for,

(22:51):
organization. And they have tons of these, like, acrylic
organizational containers. And this drawer for this twelve
or 13 year old daughter had all of these organizational
little things inside of it. So these little containers,
and within each one there were probably
2025, had a product that was
between, 50 and $100. And
the post was like, oh, my daughter loves

(23:13):
this organization. Look at this beautiful organization system for
my tween. And the comments were, I
was, like, horrified, horrified. And there was like, five
drunk elephants, a bunch of other things, things that, ah, like, I won't
even buy because they're too expensive and they're too small. And I
was like, first of all, this feels wildly out of touch. Second of all,
oh, my God, what does your daughter need all this

(23:34):
for? Right? And, like, the exposure on social
media, which you mentioned before.
So my question is, you know, you've
mentioned in our previous chats that, like, your daughter goes to a Waldorf
school, no TikTok, no phone, etcetera.
My daughter looks at my Instagram to look at,
like, art videos, and that's it.
But, you know, the limitations of not having a cell phone,

(23:55):
not having tic tac, you know, in terms of their exposure of beauty
trends, how does that make
the difference between these girls who are exposed to this every
single day and, like, what they want,
the more.

Exposed they are to the
options, the more exposed they are to
what everyone has. It's like, it's.
It's our same fascination of,
comparison that we have as adults with
social media. I think we have to be honest with
ourselves and say, look what we're doing. We're on social
media, comparing ourselves, what we have, what we look

(24:30):
like. Right? And here the kiddos are
doing the exact same thing.
They're learning from us. They're taking all of their, they're always going to
take all their cues from us. and also,
it's not, it's not real, it's not realistic
that we would not be on social media ever.
And it's also like, parents are allowed to do whatever they

(24:52):
want. We're adults. We can explore, you
know, however we want to explore. But, yes, they are
watching us, or hearing us, when we
have comments about what someone else has and we don't have.
Or someone else looks like, and we don't look like,
And they're also mirroring what those.
You know, if we're talking about females and daughters
and mothers, they're mirroring what the mom is

(25:15):
doing with her skin. And that must be. That must be what it's
what it means to be a woman. That must be what it
means to, be pretty or accepted
or loved. Like, maybe it looks like this. And so
maybe if my drawer is super full,
I'm gonna have all that stuff, too. I'm gonna
be just like mom. Or just like, the one, the person

(25:35):
with 3 million followers on Instagram because
she has all that stuff. I am guilty of
that, Christie. I think if I have, a
certain outfit or pair of boots
or, you know, the right contouring
makeup, that I, too, am gonna be
that person, live that life. Right.

(25:55):
So, I think they're just as susceptible,
if not more susceptible
to these ideas as we are.

That's absolutely. I mean, again, they're learning from
us, but it's like going to the. What nobody tells us is
these underlying motivations of, like, you mentioned, the tribal
behaviors before of acceptance and
of love and being. Being part of a broader
community. But also, like, you know, especially in
California and a lot of, like, urban, urban

(26:25):
centers. Like, comparison in terms of beauty
is huge here, southern California. So, like, our
daughters pay attention to that, and our sons, too, right?

The same thing.

So it's like the have and the have nots.
I'm curious about, you know, these
trends you and I talked about, like, early
on, what's appropriate and what's not in terms of
actual products for a young face. And you
briefly touched on this, and I want to. I want to get into it deeper
around, like, acids. Like, not good. Not
good for a baby face. Let's not do this. So, for parents

(26:56):
listening, and they have daughters, like, I
need x, I saw y. Janie has.
Blah, blah, blah, whatever. More likely Isabelle. Not a Janie.
But what's appropriate, like,
generally, for young.

Skin, okay, what they
need is a gentle face wash,
a moisturizer, and a sunscreen.
And those three things are,
they don't always need a moisturizer.
They don't. But if they want to play in,
you want to support, then

(27:33):
those three things, I think now,
you always need a gentle face wash and a
sunscreen. Always. That's going to be, no matter what the
moisturizer can be added in as an extra.
teaching your kids and rewinding this
for yourself is very helpful if you start
from this place. And that is with the

(27:53):
statement, our skin knows
what to do. Our bodies know what to do, actually. They
know how to heal themselves. You can watch it every day. When you get a little
cut, you're not putting a ton of
products on that little cut. You might put some neosporin, which is
like, actually, you know, very,
controversial now to be using neosporin every time you get a cut.
But you can watch the magic of your own body with that

(28:16):
little scrape and, oh, it's not even there anymore.
My skin's totally fine. Didn't need five
products or ten. Nothing. Nothing, right?
So using that wisdom, or creating
and exploring and saying over
and over again, this innate wisdom that we have inside of
us, that, our bodies know what to do, and our skin knows

(28:36):
what to do. Putting that into the conscious
and the subconscious mind constantly, even for ourselves, can
really free us from thinking that an external
something is going to fix
us. So I think
that's really important that I know that we're supposed
to talk about what products they need and don't need,

(28:56):
but I think also
that statement they need that
I put that, putting that at the top of the protocol that,
ah, this needs to be said and talked
about to ourselves and to our
children. And then they can come from a place
of, my skin is dry and itchy.
I want to find something to help that as opposed

(29:19):
to a place of, There's nothing wrong with it. Everything is
perfect. Yeah, literally. And I'd like
to use all these things that are to treat skin
conditions.

Yeah, absolutely.

So that's number one. So we do need to wash our face because
we're sweaty now. We're getting into our tween
prepubescent stuff. we're sweaty. we might
start to understand what the pores are in our skin. We might get
congestion. My daughter's nine and she gets
congestion right around here. mostly from
sweat. you'll start to see little blackheads
form and things like that. As the sebaceous glands

(29:53):
start to work, the oil glands start to work, or
create more oil that is just hydrating and
moisturizing your skin. So you don't want to mess too much with the sebum. But there
can be an overproduction which leads to acne
and all of these things as they get older and older. But
there's ways to handle, regulate that in a
safe, gentle way. so

(30:13):
the, the face wash,
important. And then they can put on a really light
moisturizer. the other conversation to have
here, you know, and if we want to get into it, we can.
But, staying as clean and non toxic as possible.
really simple, really, really
simple skincare products

(30:33):
for the kiddos and for us, actually
is really topsy in my
book. And then your sunscreen
being also really clean, is
important too. And there's so many options now that
I don't think we need to go to, like, the
neutrogena. Please don't go to the
neutrogena aisle. I have many recommendations

(30:55):
around the same price point. that's just so much more
cosmetically elegant and really great for your
skin and clean and safe and all those things.

Yeah.

So those are the things they need.

Okay.

Okay.

I was going to say I'd love for you to give a few of those recommendations too, again,
knowing that you're not connected or sponsored by anyone. These are
just from your experience.

Yeah, there's a few companies right
now, that are,
that are on the clean kids,
route. Now, what clean, non
toxic means is that is another conversation, too.
It's not a regulated term. A lot of parents are
very surprised by this. Clean, non toxic,

(31:34):
kid friendly. These are
unregulated terms that can be put on the front of
any bottle. So bear
that in mind when you're putting,
you know, you're kind of grabbing for things at the
store. And what I really believe and where my
role comes in is
parents, people, humans do not have

(31:57):
time to navigate
every bottle, to take every claim
and dissect it and make sure that it is
real, and to their standards, because clean,
nontoxic means different things to different people. You'll get
that explanation, quite a bit too,
because we don't actually know,

(32:17):
what the side effects of a lot of things are,
because we can't test
them on children for good reason. You're
not going to see any tests on children's skin
to find out if this is good or bad for them. So
we have to use. Yes, thank God. And
also, how do we know, so if it's a

(32:37):
suspected or we call it a sus. there's an
amazing woman. Her name is, Sabrina
Yeville. She has created a company called
Grind. The products haven't come out yet, but they'll come out in the summer.
She's banned over 3500 ingredients from her
products because they're suspect.
Because if we don't know if, we

(32:58):
aren't sure that this is safe. It's not going in the
products. So oftentimes you're
dealing with huge corporations who have
major budget concerns, who are putting in
all the classic things and fillers and pegs and
preservatives that they're putting into their adult products.
They're just repackaging, rebranding, and saying kid
friendly. That happens a lot. and then the people who

(33:20):
are creating some of these products, and maybe we could link onto the
podcast, I'll send some different recommendations and you,
maybe you can link for your viewers. they're
doing their best. Like, these products are really good, they're
supportive, and also there's always going to be new information
tomorrow and the next day that says, oh,
actually, that's actually not good.

(33:41):
Oops, we didn't know. Now we know. This is a suspect
ingredient. This is a carcinogen. This is a.
So, that conversation is
always ongoing, and I think you just need your trusted
resources, which I'm happy to be, which
is why I'm here on how to navigate that when it
just comes to products.

Perfect. We'll add some links for sure.
I'm curious about the, so, thinking about
parent friends of yours, or just even clients of
yours who have teen or tween
daughters, you know, or even sons, seeking advice on how to
address their kids newfound interest
in expensive beauty products
that they may or may not need. Most likely they do not need because of

(34:22):
all the things that I heard you say that kids do need, which were like three very,
very high level things. I didn't hear vitamin C,
I didn't hear retinol, I didn't hear a hyaluronic acid.
I didn't hear any of those things because your skin doesn't need
that when you're little. But what are some of the common questions or
concerns that parents or clients of yours
have regarding, you know, their kids interest in this types of

(34:42):
beauty products?

The first question I always get is, is it
okay if my daughter gets
drunk? Elephant
M. And that is such a
big question and things we've kind of been going through,
because we're talking about not
only the appropriateness for just the developing skin,
we're talking about, about

(35:07):
what we really need versus what we
really don't need. where does beauty really
come from? You know,
is it an innate knowing, inside of us,
of our worth and value? Or is it in a jar?
Are we buying that beauty and that worth? No,
we're not. But these are like, wow, big conversations

(35:27):
that happen over time and years in a family
and with ourselves. And so when it comes
to, is it okay for my daughter to use drunk
elephant? My answer to that
is, you know, it's so
normal to want to explore that.
Gosh, isn't it tricky? Because
we want our kids to be happy and we want to support

(35:49):
them to explore something that, ah, they're excited
about. And from a distance, it does.
It can feel just, like, self care. And isn't this cool? My daughter
wants to take care of her skin already at such a young
age. Yeah, like, that is cool. What an
opportunity to talk to her about what you did when
you were a kid. Or let's have a family night and
make ourselves oatmeal, honey masks and put it

(36:12):
on. That's another great thing. And just
a little aside, creating your own beauty products at home,
which is what I did as a little kid, is the best
way to not only have a fun night,
spend time together, but show them that the
actual ingredients that you can play with are come from
nature. and you can do so much with that. You can make so many

(36:32):
different types of honey masks with coffee grounds and
turmeric and all these cool things, with your
friends, and you make your own. You don't have
to go buy it at Sephora. Like, you're actually,
like, everything you need is right here. How cool is this? so
there's conversations like that to explore. And
then I say, you know, if you're gonna go to Sephora and you're gonna get

(36:52):
something, maybe just try
to break it down to one thing. What's the one most
important thing? And the rest, it's
just because then we're talking about the cost, right? And every
family's going to address that different. But that's the same conversation we
have when the daughter wants, you know,
the 100 $200 pair of
fancy boots that they sell their friend have, you're going to have a

(37:14):
similar conversation with that as, ah, with
hundred dollar moisturizer. So however you
navigate finances in your house, you'll do
that innately when it comes to
price on anything, I think that will come into play.
Your values there, and, your family values. So
the child will already be conditioned on how you

(37:34):
normally navigate those things. and so
I really love this whole conversation.
I really love to support
parents by saying every. When your kids come to
you and they say, I want this
drunk elephant. Oh, you know,
my gosh, I completely understand why you. Why you

(37:54):
would want that it looks so
interesting and the packaging is so cute.
And I bet it's a really good moisturizer. It's
very expensive. So much more expensive than,
you know, your perfect skin needs.
and also, like, let's explore it. I
think we definitely need to explore. Let's go to Sephora.
I want to see this stuff. Let's. You show me. Show me what

(38:17):
it is that you are really interested in
and go into their world with
them and understand, because that way, they're going to feel
super supported. There is no
shame involved. The, conversation could be the
opposite. It could be like, what are you talking about? That's dollar
100 moisturizer. You're never getting that.

(38:38):
I never had that when I was a kid. that's
ridiculous. Like, it's just. That's
crap. You don't need it. Like, there's so many other
ways that you can approach this whole
situation. I guarantee you
you're going to get so much more
of a connection and understanding and a future
out of the.

First way that we can talk to.

Our kids about it and support them. And maybe you go
to Sephora, and that moisture, that moisturizer, they're like, oh, my gosh,
it is. It is $80, mom. Like, that is so
much. Oh, my gosh, it is. What if we
got, the product that's only $30 from
drunk elephant? And then we got you some other little treats,
like that cute, fluffy headband you like to keep your hair back

(39:21):
in. maybe we can get the little mini fridge with
the little, like, one of those nice, rolling
tools that stay like. And a little miss avion
mist. Oh, my gosh. Like, the avion mist from paris.
Those are so chic. And you take that
money and you create something else beautiful that's
more abundant. And then.
And then my next thing would be like, oh, my gosh, you have to tell your friends

(39:42):
about this. Look what we just did today. We took that
$180 moisturizer and expanded into this, all
this cool stuff for you. and, gosh, I can't wait
for you to try it all and tell me how it all feels.

I love that so much because it's like,
it's not a. Like you mentioned, it's not a shutting down.
And I think that's such a generational thing. Like, our parents may have just shut
it down and, like, no, I never had that. No, you don't need that. No, you,
whatever. No, that's expensive. And the answer is no. But this
is expressing that level of curiosity I love, because
it, it builds, like, it fosters open

(40:14):
communication, but it also builds trust. And then your
girls now, or your daughter or my daughter know that, like, a.
Their parents are. And actually, my husband would come to do this, too. He
would be like, okay, this is not my thing, but, like, I want to, I want
to know. Right. It's not just for moms. Like,
it would, it would encourage that trust between parents and
kids because we're stepping into their world. But we can

(40:34):
also share some expertise or maybe be like, you know
what? I don't know about this either. Let's go ask the person
who works here, and they can educate us together.
And then we can go get all these other fun little treats for you instead
of that one, you know, dollar 80 or dollar 100. you know,
beauty product. I love that.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I love what you just said,
too. Yeah. That's where, that's where it
feels right. It feels good
is coming from that place and sharing my
thoughts on that. and the other really important thing.
And I think if anybody kind of is listening
and they can take away that
piece and also the

(41:12):
things that are really, really harmful for them and that they
need, the parents need to know, and the kids need to know know. So
when we're talking about acids, we're talking about
bha's, aha's, glycolic, mandelic. There's
all these different types of acids. And
so retinol is an acid, too. That's
vitamin a. And so you do have to look at vitamin a,
you know, but when you're looking at a product,

(41:35):
a product that says anything like resurfacing,
brightening overnight,
rejuvenation, like
cream, toner, peel pads, anything that uses
the word peel. All these things are definitely
going to have, mostly, chemical exfoliants.
Obviously, if you see scrub, you're looking at a physical

(41:56):
exfoliant. those are the micro beads. All of
these things. Also inappropriate, heavy
exfoliation. Exfoliation, which the acids are
doing, is really
inappropriate. Kids skin isn't really
done developing until they're 18. And so
imagine how thin, thin, thin, precious, precious,
precious that ten year old

(42:17):
skin is.

Yeah.

And, man, that's. I could talk about that forever. I
mean, beauty chases youth, right?
But what happens when youth chases beauty?
That's what we're inside of. And, I mean,
I don't know. We might need to have another conversation about that. So
when you're navigating the products that they shouldn't
have, you really have to watch out for those.
And not as a scare tactic, but,

(42:41):
dermatologists that I'm talking to and research that I'm
doing, they are seeing so
much damage on the skin
that kiddos are coming in 910, eleven years
old with contact dermatitis.
acne. Ah,
ah.

Burns.

Just like straight burns. Okay?
And that ecosystem, the
skin's mantle, and that all
is, like, beautifully intact and
perfect at that age. It's doing its own thing. It's developing,
it's becoming thicker. The epidermis is growing
and understanding what it needs to do. And if you're coming
in with those acids, with those bulldozers, you're

(43:22):
disrupting all of that and it's going to wreak havoc. Havoc.
And the other thing to remember about this is their skin
will never be the same. You
cannot, you cannot go in and
strip the mantle of
all of, its system and then expect
it to heal and go back to the original way

(43:43):
that it was by nature.

Oh, and just think about them developing and their self
esteem as well. And the moment that they start to get this,
and then they, they disrupt, like you said, the, the
ecosystem of their skin. And then
just knowing how kids are in terms of being so judgmental, it's
like, it's such a delicate mental
and emotional and social age, but it's also a delicate
physical age, literally, from your.

That's a really heartbreaking element of this process.
If they do go down that road and they don't have proper tools
and somebody there to help
navigate, or the company, maybe Sephora.
I would, I really, I'd love to see Sephora, create some sort of
support in this area where the acids and the retinols
and whatever else are in a different section. Or maybe when

(44:29):
they get rung up, there's a little beep that comes up and they
have to be a certain age to purchase. I mean, because
we can't rely on parents all the time to be
navigating this. We're really, really busy. Just like we
can't look at the back of every single label and
research what that dimethicon physiofossil
lift means. Like, it's just impossible

(44:50):
to be doing that. And to expect
parents to be doing that, we need the companies and the
brands to have some, structure there and
some support with it, too. I think that's really
important.

Oh, my God, that's critical. I love those
ideas. Absolutely. I mean, it's sad to say that,
but it's so necessary because it's like the parents
are not going to be with the kids all the time. The kids are not going to want the parents to be with
them all the time, especially at that age. But there needs to be some
accountability on the companies and responsibility.
I want to touch on the idea of self esteem for a
second, because a lot of this, obviously, this

(45:24):
age we are just talking, it's such a delicate age in
every way, shape or form. And what
advice do you give to parents? Or what do you even do with your own
daughter when, you know, to navigate your
daughter, their daughters, or their sons curiosity and beauty products,
but at the same time, boosting their
self esteem and their sense of self

(45:45):
worth, you know, and not saying, I need this because
Katie has it and she's so pretty, and if I don't have it, I'm not
gonna be as pretty and people aren't gonna like me as much. You know, that whole,
that whole wormhole that people get into when they're that
age.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh, that's such a good question. And,
you know, I think if I take your example right there of your
kiddo coming home and saying, oh, Katie is so beautiful, if I
don't have that, I'm not pretty and I won't be liked. And,
the first thing that I always do as a parent, and
I would think is a very successful
way to navigate it, is, listening to the whole

(46:19):
thing, listening to all that information and
those feelings, those real feelings for
them. Like, those are true, real feelings if
we hear them and we're like, oh, gosh, you're so
pretty. Like, what are you talking about? Look
at yourself in the mirror. Like, you've always been gorgeous.
Like, if we don't validate the fact that those
are real feelings going on inside

(46:42):
of them, that's reality for them. So,
first of all, listening, listening, listening to
everything, and when they're finished
validating, mirroring what they're saying, gosh, I
hear you. Isn't it so hard? Like, I
have felt the exact same way, not only when I was your age,
but even as an adult, when I see
someone that's, you know, hair might be what I

(47:04):
think would be the ideal of
beauty or, you know, bringing yourself into
the conversation, being super vulnerable.

Yeah.

I think is the best place to start with that and
then exploring.
So my personal journey is what I share with my daughter.
And I grew up thinking that if I
looked perfectly and I acted perfect,
that my life would be perfect and that I would
be worthy of, love,
success, attention, all of these

(47:34):
things were conditional for me. I felt like, you
know, worthiness was conditional. And
I read a ton of, you know, beauty magazines growing
up. I grew up in, the theater world,
film and television, things like that. And so I
understood right away the power of the transformation with
makeup and so skincare and beauty and what

(47:54):
that could do to almost,
mask who you really are,
to say, hey, I had really dark circles under
my eyes, which is how I, at eleven years old, started
researching why and how I could fix them, at
the library. And I would make different potions at
home, with masks and things to try
to fix my dark under eye circles. And kids were really

(48:17):
mean and there was a lot of,
teasing. And so throughout all that, I really felt
like, gosh, if I didn't have dark circles, I, I'd have a perfect
life. And so I share with my
daughter. These are, this, this
was how I navigated and felt when I was your
age. And, yeah, oh, my God, I don't want that
for you. Because, listen, here's the wisdom that I've

(48:39):
collected now. Here's what I understand now, and I'm still
learning, but look, like, our beauty is innate.
We're born with it. We don't have to do anything to
deserve our own beauty. And beauty
is what you think it is. Beauty
is what is beautiful to you. I mean,
a flower. You've seen people with a

(48:59):
dog that is like the funkiest looking dog where,
like, there's no teeth, so the tongue's sticking out, you know, and
the ears, and this dog
owner is like, this beautiful,
precious creature, and you're like.

Yes, that's my dog.

That dog owner knows the value
and the worth of this beautiful
creature that displays
unconditional love. And so if we
kind of get in touch with that,
I'm using that as an example, but getting in touch with the example of,
like, you get to decide what's beautiful, you get
to decide what something means to you and what

(49:40):
value something has to you. So those are the
conversations I have over a long periods of time.
Like, it's not just like a once, you know, shot.
but I don't shut down my daughter's feelings when
those topics come up. And they'll continue to come up. I mean,
they've just begun at ten years old, right? The
other thing is, as they mirror,

(50:00):
as they mirror you, I've always made it
a point, and you can start now. Even if you didn't do this when they
were younger. every time I'm in a mirror. And my
daughter's around. I make it a point to talk to myself in
the mirror. And, she
now thinks, like, I'm being cheesy, but I saw. I
could see her watching me. Our whole lives together. Ah.

(50:21):
And when I was in the mirror, undressed during time, I'd be like, oh,
my gosh, like, look at my beautiful,
strong body. And I would just,
like, look at it. And I would. I mean, I wasn't just doing
it to put on a, to put on a show for her. I
really was, like, standing there in my own,
like, strength. And then I'd be like, I
just, I'm so grateful. I have this long hair

(50:43):
that's so healthy from all the food I eat and my
vitamins that I take. Like, God, it's so cool
how our bodies just, like, like, help us
when, like, we've treat it right, you know? Or,
you know, when I have a pimple, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I have a
pimple. Like, I'm actually excited because
now I can try all these different things to fix
it, and I always know not to touch it. And I've learned my

(51:06):
lesson there. And we'll go over, you know, what to do. So
in the moment, you can have these
conversations with yourself that they're
listening to. So I love doing that, too.
and also talking about perfectly imperfect, you
know, always saying that, you know, nothing's perfect, but
actually everything is perfect in its
imperfection.

Everything.

So these are, you know, huge
conversations, long conversations that I hope that's
helpful.

I mean, I just have had the biggest smile on my face this whole time.
Because this gets to the root of all of
this, which is really around parenting
and mirroring and having open,
supportive conversations that are non judgmental but
also insightful with your daughters or your sons
around this topic, because it's, you know, you and I have
chatted before about the fact that there are some parents who are

(51:57):
like, they're so desperate for acceptance
from their child, therefore they're like, what can I buy
you? What can I put there? What? Like, because they didn't get that
from their own parents. So it's like, to actually take a second
and if you are one of those parents to stop and think,
I do like, what pressure are you putting on your child
to provide that acceptance and that love for you? Let's

(52:17):
flip this. Like, you need to give yourself the acceptance
and the love and the support because your child is watching you
this entire time. And I love what you do in the
mirror. I do the same thing. My daughter has never
and will never hear me say one negative
thing about my body, ever, even if she's. Because
she's now getting some bullying at school. And I've talked about this in

(52:38):
other episodes, too, around, like, so and so
said, you're fat. It's like, she's not fat, but that's
not the point. Like, they're pushing the limits. They're trying to be little a
holes, and it's these boys, and it is what it is. She'll never hear
me call myself fat if she says, mom,
your butt's kind of fat. I'd be like, my butt's strong. Like,
do you know what my butt does? Do you know what kind of my body

(52:58):
supports myself in doing? And you just kind of see her face go,
like, oh, yeah, I'm like, in. Yours does, too.
You're in. Everybody comes in different. Right? Like,
ways, shapes, and forms. Like, that's. But this is really
a parenting conversation, right?

Like, yes. And also.
And also, I would say it is
a parenting, your parenting
yourself conversation. It's.
It's. It's a conversation about
how parents can heal
themselves and the necessity, importance

(53:33):
of going back and healing your own
relationship with, worthiness.
I think, to the inside of it all is the
worthiness conversation, because then you don't do the
comparisons and you don't need the things,
to fulfill the worthiness bucket or what you think will
bring will make you worthy. and

(53:53):
so I think it is a convert. It is a conversation because it's.
When it comes down, all of this trickles down. And I'm
really honest with myself. This work that I'm
doing is also about rewinding my
own connection with my worth
and my inherent value in the world, with or
without beauty products and without makeup

(54:13):
and without all the things. And so if I do that work,
I can then impart it onto my child.
And having a conversation about
drunk elephant, and all of these expensive
and not necessary
things becomes so much more fluid and
easy, because it's like, you
know what? You can have total

(54:36):
worth and understanding of your innate
beauty and also want to
try the drunk elephant, right.

Right.

It can be both. And you can hold
both of those truths at the same time,
so there's absolutely no shame. So even having that
conversation, being like, you know how perfect your skin
is, it knows what to do. And also, isn't it
fun to try something new? Let's go. Let's go look at
it. I'm not saying we're buying it? Yeah, let's

(55:04):
go look at it. I want to feel it on my hand. Let's see if it's really. Why don't we
get investigatory here?

Yeah.

Like, we should go see if this is really worth it. Come on,
let's go. Let's go.

Yeah, let's go. Let's go. It's funny, I want to flip it
to the other side where I was having a conversation with a mom friend of
mine, and she just turned 50. Her daughter is, I'm gonna say she's,
like, 15 or 16. so she's not a tween. She's a full blown
teenager, but still, like, her skin's not done developing, but she
has got. The daughter has gone down the wormhole. Like, she spent
her spare time at Sephora. She is looking, researching these

(55:33):
products to the point where she's now giving my friend
skincare advice. And she's like, oh, mom, why are you
using that? You should be using this. Like, how can
we. How. How can we not turn over
100% of the, like, power knowledge to
our children and have them be our, like, skin
consultant? Well, you know, because they're still young. They don't

(55:53):
know. They haven't been through all of this while also
supporting their desire to learn and
become. I'll use air quotes. Expert in these types of
things. I feel like that's a. It's such a delicate, like, fine
line.

Yeah, I think that's with anything. It's, you know, when, like, your.
Your kiddo, when they're little, is like, the moon is
green, and you're like, no, it
isn't.
But you say to them, how interesting. Your
eyes explore. Experience it as green.
Yeah. That is interesting. My eyes experience it
as blue. Right end of the

(56:28):
conversation. Instead of, no,
it's blue. And you can't tell me otherwise. I'm the
adult, I'm the parent, you're the child, and I know better.
So let's apply it to this.
Convert this topic, and when it comes to,
you know, my daughter does this all the time. She comes in and
wants to be the authoritative or the all
knowing person in a conversation. It makes

(56:50):
them feel really good. No, mom,
actually, this is how it works.
And you're like, okay,
so that's not your response. Your response is, how
interesting, how curious. Tell me more.
Wow, I've never heard that perspective before.

(57:10):
So you're validating, but you're not, You're not, saying
that they're right, that you're correct,
and you're incorrect and that they're the expert now and that you have
no voice and they take. They have the power and you don't. And da da da da da da
da da da. You're just being part of the
conversation, staying curious. So in that
role, and they are roles, the one

(57:31):
daughter wants to play the role of skincare expert
and wants to, kind of be in that
higher place and put the parent down
low. Like, you don't know, mom. I know more. that makes
them feel really good. Like, their ego gets involved.
So our ego, as you may know, in order to
be right, it has to make someone else wrong.

(57:51):
And that can become really, really powerful.
And as somebody always wants to be right. Right, right. It's just
a feed for the ego. And they're exploring that, you know? And that's totally
normal as well. so you know, that
parent, I think the best thing is like, wow. Like, ah,
you have accumulated so much knowledge,
and also I have things to learn. You still have things

(58:11):
to learn and create an even, playing ground for them.
So they can. So they can. They can even balance each other
out. So the mom is not. The mom is not like,
oh, okay, yeah, I should do this, and she does it.
And it's not that. And then the daughter isn't like, I
tell you how to take care of your skin. No.

Yeah.

It's more like, oh, okay.

Oh, okay.

Oh, you learned a bunch of things. Because they are. They're probably learning
more information online, whether
it's factual and appropriate, I don't know,
if they're just learning from dermatologists, you
know, only. And they brought information to their
mom, probably is good information. But I don't
know. The TikTok, kiddo, that's saying
they should put watermelon on their face. I don't

(58:55):
know what the deal is, but, that's how I would
navigate it and how I would say. And again, staying
away from any combative conversations of, like, I'm
the parent. I've lived for 40 years. My skin's gone through all
this stuff. I, know you don't. That's a
surefire way for them to never come to you
again. Never keep the conversation
open, feel all alone and isolated

(59:17):
in their excitement. Yeah, right.
And feel completely unsupported, 100%, which is.

A nightmare on both sides. And then you wonder why your child doesn't tell
you anything, and you find out all of this shit, and you're like, well, what happened?
Well, because of what you did, it just a few more questions. By the
way, your perspective on parenting is so delightful. I love it and
I'm so vibe with it. We're so similar in that way. And it's like,
it's like the more we can share these kinds of things because people are
tired. Right. This is hard, all

(59:44):
of it. But this is such helpful information.
Okay, I want to go to the haves and the have nots because we
see, like, we have conversations with our daughter about, like, we've got some
friends who've got these ridiculous houses, right? We have this modest,
lovely house. There's nothing wrong with our house. It's beautiful. Like, we have
a loving, wonderful home. But when you think about these
types of products and, and you've mentioned, like, which
is so, such a great piece of advice, you know, let's get

(01:00:06):
the one product and the one thing that then
we can spend the rest of the money on, you know, the Evian, spray and the little mini fridge
things that are, like, economical, but also make them feel like they have
the suite of products, then you have
Julie. I'm going to make up a name who has, like,
ten products. So there no. Doesn't exist in Julie's
life. Julie has ten products of drunk elephants. She has

(01:00:27):
Chanel, she has all that. Because a, either
they can afford it, b, the parents just never say no,
or c, that's just how they live. But our
daughters will see that and be like, I want
that. Why can't I have that? Julie
has all these skincare things. Why do I have to go
to cv's and get wet and

(01:00:47):
wild? I don't even know if that exists anymore.
You know? What do you.
I don't know, like, or maybelline, whatever
it might be. What do you say to that? What advice do you have
for a parent in that situation?

>> Natasha V. Glasgow (01:01:04):
again, saying, like, oh, my gosh,
I. That's, that's
so tricky because it's so normal to want
what everybody else has and to
feel like if you don't have it, you're
missing out on something. it's, again, same thing as
adults. When we look over the fence and we see the bigger
house, what's our relationship with

(01:01:26):
that? and how are we talking about that in the
home? How are both parents speaking
about the haves and have nots of the world? And where's the
gratitude conversation and the abundance
conversation? So
the truth is, in the moment,
their nervous system is all jacked up, wanting

(01:01:47):
Chanel. They are
on the height of. I, don't have it. I
want it. She's got it. Why don't I have it? And
so, again, validating it,
saying, yeah, you're right. That sometimes
feels so bad when somebody else has all this stuff
and you don't have it, and you need to, you'll

(01:02:08):
find out as you're growing up, like, what's really important
in life. And I know that that is, like, a stinky,
boring thing I'm saying right now. That is so
boring for me to say. Oh, what really matters in
life is, you know, love and a, roof
over your head. But let's take it relative
to Sephora and skincare. So

(01:02:29):
beauty products are very expensive. They also have
a. Don't have a super long shelf life
if you want to spend your resources on all that.
Sounds like Julie wants to spend all of her
resources on that. It's very important to her.
For some reason, we don't know what's going on for Julie.
Like, Julie could have something happening where, like, she really
feels like this is what makes her happy right now. Maybe

(01:02:51):
she's sad and something else that's going on in her life and
these accumulating all these products is really helping
her just feel, like, taken care of right now. And maybe
her parents are going through something and they're doing that for her
because there's tough stuff going on, you
know? Or maybe, like, who
knows how Julie got all these things? She might have had a birthday

(01:03:12):
party with the extravagant neighbor who brought this all
over. She may have a grandma who tried ten of these things that didn't work on
her, and so they put it in the drawer. So how Julie got
this drawer, we have no idea. All
right? I guarantee you, Julie's mom didn't take her to Sephora and
spend $2,000. I guarantee that's not the case. How
she accumulated them and then is sharing them online

(01:03:32):
is a mystery. Isn't that interesting? I mean, we
need to talk to. We probably have to talk to Julie,
because unless we talk to her, like, we're not
really gonna know. And so also, like,
parents are, values are different. Like, you know, some kids have
a, iPhone and some kids don't. We parent different. And
I go to that all the time. If someone's like,
if my daughter is like, so and so has an apple watch,

(01:03:55):
you know, so and so has la mer face cream, so and so has
drunk elephant, my answer is always like,
oh, okay. well, we're not there yet.
And I parent differently. I'm
a single mom, and her dad's on the same
page as well. So we are, like, supportive of one another's choices in this
area. And I just say, you know, we parent
differently. Like, we make different choices, and everyone's household

(01:04:18):
does. And Julie's household, is, you know,
maybe making different decisions puts a value
on that. Has birth, has. You know, these are gifts and
birthday things. These are from grandma. These are from neighbors.
We don't know. But sometimes what we see online and
also on social media, it's a. It's a, It's a
fabricated story and illusion. She could have

(01:04:39):
went and gotten all her mom's products and put it in that drawer
to take the picture to look cool.
We don't. We don't know. We don't know what. What's going on
for Julie. You know, let's. Let's, like,
err on that side of,
like, compassion for her and say,
you know, isn't this interesting? And if she were to put all these things on her

(01:04:59):
face, she would not like it. It'd be too much. It's just too
much. It'd be smelly and sticky and
her skin. She might get a little rashes. Like, Julie wouldn't be
using all this stuff. So I think that.
I hope that's helpful. I think we can go in a lot of different directions with the
answer on that.

>> Christie Bishop (01:05:16):
Yes, but no, that's so helpful. I love that description. I
mean, talk about what nobody tells us. It's like, where did she get all
of these things? How is Julie procuring all of these? I love the
birthday party, the grandmother, whatever. We don't know. So how do you
dive into the story and what's the motivation behind it? We should do
that for everything. Yeah, for everything.

things for face value in social media. We need to teach
our. We need to teach ourselves about that. This
is a curated photo album of
the best hits. Best hits. Only I
don't.

Yes.

I don't see the pain, the suffering.
And, you know, some people are very vulnerable, which is
beautiful and all those things. But when we look at role
models, we need to see, more of what's
really going on for them. Yeah.

Agreed.
All right, final words. And this has been so helpful
and so, like, education
to really, what. What final word do you have for parents
who are just dipping their
toe in the waters of this? Like, what. What do
you say as they can start to navigate? You have already given so many
beautiful pieces of advice for parenting and education on these

(01:06:20):
products, but what's just kind of what's the final word on
it.

The final word is that, you're a really
good parent. You're going to know
how to navigate this with your child
as it comes up. Don't. Don't be scared
because you two have been in their exact same
shoes. You too were curious, just like
they are. It just looks a little different because
of TikTok, you know, or the products that are available.

(01:06:47):
It looks differently. So you're actually
most equipped to help the person you used to be.
I love that as just a motto in life.
And so when it comes to parenting your children,
you want to apply that at all times.
You're going to know how to navigate it because you too were
curious. Even if you're the dad in the situation,

(01:07:07):
you had your own curiosities at ten, it just might have
looked different. It just wasn't skincare. It was something
else. So
the other part of that is,
now that you know that you're perfectly capable of
navigating this because of your own experience,
give yourself a ton of grace.

Hm?

And. Let the kids
know how much you
support them in something so normal and put
no shame around it for you or them.

Love that. Love that.

So those things, I think starting from that place
and then just having a trusted resource of,
like, here's a list of things that their skin should never.
That should never touch their skin. It's an acid, a
retinol, a brightening appeal pad. Here's
a little list. And maybe you just have that snapshot it on your
phone or in your notes. So when you are having conversations

(01:08:02):
or you go to Sephora or CV's, you know, those are the
things that are no nos. And then you navigate
price point and the amount of things in the drawer and all of
that. However your values lie. and,
and you take it from that place I love.

That is so perfectly said. Thank you. Oh, thank you
so much for sharing your knowledge and your wisdom.

My, oh, my gosh. I'm honored. Thank you for having
me and letting me have this conversation with you and
asking amazing questions and being so
supportive in this dialogue.

Perfect. All right. Thank you, my dear.
Well, that's it. Another episode of what nobody
tells us. Thank you so much for listening. And I hope
you felt something. I hope you learned something.
And I hope you feel empowered to go reach out to somebody
who might be going through something you don't understand.

(01:08:53):
Lean in, ask the questions, make the
connection. Be the friend who starts the
conversation. I can't tell you how much it will mean to
someone. If you have ideas for further
topics, please reach out to me. I love
hearing from you. Your emails and your tweets and your
texts and your, Instagram
DM's are so welcome and so amazing.

(01:09:16):
If you want to hear more, every episode is available
on my website, christybishop.com. That's
christiebishop.com.
You can find all previous episodes, and you can also
book me for speaking engagements, for training,
coaching, and marketing consulting. I've only been
doing that for the last 20 plus years. It's one of my first

(01:09:38):
loves. So again, thank you for listening. And until next
time, I'm Christie Bishop and this is what
nobody tells us.

All Episodes

Episode 39 | Tweens, Drunk Elephant & Sephora: Inside The Obsession | Guest: Natasha V. Glasgow, Esthetician & Elle Magazine Beauty Advisor

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Monster: BTK

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 39 | Tweens, Drunk Elephant & Sephora: Inside The Obsession | Guest: Natasha V. Glasgow, Esthetician & Elle Magazine Beauty Advisor