February 7, 2024 • 16 mins
When you envision a victim of domestic abuse, does the image of a man come to mind? This episode shatters that stereotype as Tami Weissenberg, under a pseudonym, details his spiral into victimhood in his book 'Darjeeling Pur'. We walk alongside Tami as he unfolds his tale from supporting Jane, a woman he believed to be a marital abuse victim, only to become ensnared in the web of his own abusive relationship. His heart-wrenching account challenges every assumption about domestic violence, highlighting the shocking manipulation and control he endured, and the physical abuse that society still struggles to acknowledge when the roles are reversed.
This isn't just another story of love gone wrong; it's a critical exploration of a hidden issue that too often escapes the spotlight. Tami's journey takes a dramatic turn during a vacation that serves as his wake-up call, revealing the extent of Jane's control and the depth of his isolation from loved ones. The blows he receives are not just physical but emotional, erasing the line drawn by gender stereotypes and throwing light on the silent struggle many men face. By tuning in, you'll gain a fresh perspective on the complexities of domestic abuse and the courage it takes to break free from its grip.
Sources
Isolated Podcast Episodes dated 5/10/2021 and 5/17/2021, “Tami Weissneberg”
https://www.dw.com/en/men-as-victims-of-domestic-violence-i-was-paralyzed/a-55472456
https://www.facebook.com/AbuseTalkOnline
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-not-to-talk-about-on-a-first-date-7775457#:~:text=%E2%80%9CSometimes%20people%20use%20'trauma%20dumping,stick%20around%20for%20a%20while.%E2%80%9D
https://www.forbes.com/health/dating/relationship-red-flags/#:~:text=When%20jealousy%20creeps%20into%20a,controlling%20situation%2C%E2%80%9D%20says%20Kelman
1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.
If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.
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Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!
Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi Warriors, welcome to 1 in 3, I'm your host, Ingrid
.
Given the misconception thatdomestic violence victims are
weak or frail makes it that muchmore difficult for society to
understand.
Men can be on the receiving endof abuse, especially if the
offender is a woman.
Another misconception Men areonly victims of emotional or
(00:21):
psychological abuse, notphysical.
A German man using thepseudonym Tammy Weissenberg
bravely shared his story in hisbook titled Darjeeling Poor.
Here is his story Tammy hadrecently gotten out of a long
(00:42):
relationship and decided to takea break from serious dating.
Over time, he eventually endedup creating a dating profile on
a website.
Still not wanting to jump intoanother commitment, he couldn't
help that one woman caught hiseye.
She was someone he recognizedas living locally.
He reached out and offered upsome information about himself,
(01:03):
like his interests and hobbies.
She, however, dove into tellinghim all about her current
marriage.
Her husband was controlling andabusive in the form of physical
abuse and stalking.
The conversations must havebeen interesting enough, though,
because the two of them met fora date after two weeks of
chatting.
From here forward, I'll referto the woman as Jane, as her
(01:26):
true identity is not given, asin the online discussions.
Jane immediately continued herrant about her awful husband.
In fact, the only way she wasable to escape and make the date
was to use walking her dog asan excuse.
Tammy really felt for her.
She seemed like a nice, normalwoman and appeared very
(01:48):
emotional about her currentsituation.
No one should be treated thatway.
The two continued to meetregularly.
Jane would resume filling Tammyin on the drama at home.
She was planning on divorcingand leaving her husband.
She even secured an apartmentto move into and it appeared it
would be a smooth transition.
Meanwhile, Tammy's instinct tohelp and protect Jane grew with
(02:12):
each story she shared.
Tammy helped Jane make the moveand was surprised when her soon
to be ex-husband showed upunexpectedly.
He and Tammy engaged in acordial conversation, leading
Tammy to wonder where themonster Jane described was
Watching from the window of hernew apartment.
Jane finally had enough.
(02:32):
She ran out into the street andordered Tammy to go inside.
Despite being surprised at herabruptness, he complied.
Then Tammy overheard Jane sayto her husband you cowardly
piece of shit, I hope you die amiserable death without me.
When Jane rejoined Tammy inside, she apologized for her
(02:53):
language and blamed her outburston the stress of seeing her
husband.
The two continued to date, andabout one year after meeting,
Tammy and Jane moved in together.
Since each of them had a homefull of furnishings, they had to
decide what to do with theexcess.
That was easy Tammy simplyneeded to sell or donate all of
(03:14):
his belongings, only bringingclothing and a few essential
items.
Things went well initially.
After the move the two eventook a big step and consolidated
bank accounts at Jane'ssuggestion, but she lorded
control over the finances.
At first she just questionedTammy on all of his purchases,
(03:36):
but that led to her strictlyforbidding him to spend any
money without her consent.
And then things seemed tochange Slowly and methodically.
Tammy's friends and family werephased out of their lives.
Jane was a jealous girlfriendand wanted all of Tammy's free
time to be devoted to her.
(03:56):
Of course, she was apologeticimmediately following any poor
behavior.
You see, it was difficult forher as she was recovering from
such an abusive past.
Tammy was given a clear pictureof what kind of person Jane was
when they took a vacationtogether.
Despite not really having thetime to take off from work,
(04:16):
Tammy booked a hotel anyway tokeep Jane happy.
Unfortunately, the lodgings didnot meet Jane's standards.
She was furious with what shecalled a dirty and inadequate
place.
She took her frustration out onthe staff and refused to pay
for their stay.
She claimed the hotel was sosubpar payment wasn't warranted.
(04:38):
Tammy, not wanting any part ofthis, left and took a drive,
allowing Jane to do what shefelt necessary.
When he returned to pick Janeup, she began screaming at him,
calling him cowardly and weakfor leaving her.
Then she hit him for the firsttime in the head.
Tammy's first response was thatwould be the last time that
(05:00):
happened.
She was not going to stickaround for more.
You can probably guess whathappened next.
Jane cried.
She apologized.
She confessed her childhoodlacked love and support.
That's what led her to anabusive marriage.
Once again Tammy felt a pang ofempathy for Jane.
(05:21):
He could let this one slide,Remember.
Now the couple lived together.
Jane kept the door to her officelocked, though.
One day Tammy was curiousenough to discover what was
inside the room and he pickedthe lock.
Inside he found documentsdetailing the amount of money
Jane owed her ex-husband.
There was also a ledgerdescribing how Jane's ex had
(05:45):
enough evidence collected toprove she was in fact the abuser
in the marriage.
Tammy chose to just hold on tothat information.
Unfortunately, shortly after, acar accident added to Tammy's
predicament.
He was severely injured andrequired hospitalization and
surgery.
Once the insurance companyprocessed the claim, they
(06:07):
awarded Tammy with 7,500 euros.
He decided he would accept thepayout and open a private secret
savings account.
Jane somehow was privy to thisinformation and, after
unleashing verbal insults andthreats, she took one of Tammy's
crutches and hit him on the leg.
Then she hit him again, thistime on his leg that had just
(06:30):
been operated on.
Now that Tammy was limitedphysically, Jane ramped up her
control.
She mandated Tammy only call ortext her.
She didn't allow him access tohis laptop.
He had to update her with hiswhereabouts any time he left for
appointments.
He was given a list of chores.
When he was home, Tammy wouldbe instructed to run a bath for
(06:54):
Jane.
While in the bath he wouldbring her fruit.
It had to be the correct kind,peeled, the correct way.
Jane's instructions were alwaysspecific and if he didn't match
them exactly she would bringout the abuse, Verbal and now
physical.
Tammy found himself changinghis own behavior and attempts to
(07:15):
avoid any outbursts, but hediscovered Jane's reactions had
no predictability to them.
One day Jane revealed to Tammyshe was pregnant.
The two had not been intimatein quite some time, so it was
clear the baby was not his.
Despite that, Tammy wanted thebaby.
Tammy believed the baby wouldbring a welcome change to their
(07:38):
home.
Jane had a few stipulations.
First, the two would need toget married.
Then Jane was very clear shewould not breastfeed, nor would
she wake for middle of the night.
Needs for the baby, as you canimagine, birth of the baby did
not bring the desired changeTammy had been looking for.
The physical violence andpsychological abuse continued
(08:02):
and actually escalated.
Tammy had to seek out medicaltreatment on at least two
occasions.
Before this next event, Tammyfinally decided he had to talk
to Jane about their finances.
This gentle conversationevolved into another tirade.
Jane threw a glass bullet athim.
(08:23):
She grabbed his clothes andthrew them into the basement.
As Tammy went to collect histhings, Jane came up behind him
and kicked him down the stairs.
His large frame came crashingdown onto the leg he had
previously injured in the caraccident.
Searing pain shot through hisbody.
As Tammy looked at hisobviously broken extremity,
(08:47):
Throwing laundry down on top ofhis crumpled body, Jane demanded
Tammy figure his way out ofthis situation himself.
She turned and left him thereLying on the floor and feeling
defeated and helpless.
Tammy heard the ping of hisphone.
It was a text from Janeinstructing him to have the
(09:08):
house cleaned.
When she returned in two hoursWith the realization that his
phone was with him, Tammy made afew phone calls.
One was to his parents to watchtheir son for a bit, who
miraculously had slapped througheverything.
The next was to the paramedics.
He was taken to the samehospital once again.
(09:30):
Previously, less severeinjuries granted Tammy the
ability to lie about whathappened to him.
This time, however, he was onlyable to mutter, I can't say
when the doctor asked whathappened.
The doctor then asked if it wasdomestic violence.
Tammy's prolonged silence thatfollowed answered everything.
(09:52):
He didn't openly admit to whatwas happening at home out of
fear.
He was afraid of what Janewould do to him.
Another occasion Tammy gaped asJane stood in front of him and
removed her bathrobe.
Then she began hitting andscratching herself.
With each insult she wouldscream ouch, stop it, you're
(10:14):
hurting me.
Tammy was frozen with confusion.
When Jane finished, she put herbathrobe on and produced a
recorder.
She threatened Tammy withblackmail if he ever were to
tell.
During one of Jane's attacks.
Tammy managed to escape to hiscar, Driving around aimlessly.
He came upon a conclusion tohis woes.
(10:36):
He parked the car and climbed atall tower.
As he contemplated his nextactions, a neighbor with Jane
and Toe pulled up.
The neighbor convinced Tammy tocome down.
Once home, Tammy reflected onhis life and how close he had
come to ending it.
He decided from that moment hehad no choice but to leave Jane.
(10:59):
If he was willing to end hislife, then he could endure
whatever happened to him withhis attempt to escape.
I really hate to leave youhanging, but based on the
translation done by thepodcasters in the isolation
podcast episodes, Tammy ends thestory here.
While most of the informationbased on his story is in German,
(11:20):
I was able to find an articlein English that mentioned Tammy
has started a support group toassist men in similar situations
.
He also emphasized writing hisbook was not to get back at his
former partner but to bringawareness to domestic violence,
especially in men.
Now, if you have been followingthis podcast, you are hopefully
(11:41):
beginning to recognize that thephysical violence inflicted is
often following a systemicbreakdown of the victim through
psychological and emotionalabuse.
The perpetrator dismantlestheir victim until she or he no
longer recognizes themselves.
It's when that person has beenmanipulated enough to believe
(12:02):
they are the cause of the abuseto them and is fearful of
repercussions of either moreabuse or even blackmail, that
the abuser is able to unleashall their aggression.
An important takeaway is theviolence always escalates.
The best way to stop domesticviolence is avoiding it
(12:22):
altogether.
I want to point out a few thingsin this story.
Looking from the outside andhearing the details of Tammy and
Jane's relationship, it's quiteeasy to identify the red flags,
but when one is in it anddealing with a master
manipulator, those flags aren'tso apparent.
Let me share some of those redflags that stuck out to me.
(12:45):
The first one Jane oversharedabout her abuse from her husband
as soon as she and Tammy beganconnecting.
This is called trauma dumping.
It is a tactic abusers may useto gain empathy from their
potential partner, as in Tammy'scase.
That empathy evolved intofeeling a responsibility to help
(13:05):
Jane.
Just a quick side note traumadumping isn't exclusive to
abusers.
It could be something anindividual does due to nerves or
even because they haven'tadequately processed the trauma
they truly did experience.
In any case, it is a red flagthat you should perhaps just pay
attention to Number twoJealousy.
(13:29):
Okay, so it is normal to havelittle pangs of jealousy in
certain situations.
The red flag is how thatjealousy is portrayed.
When an individual such as Janeuses it to demand all attention
and free time be devoted tothem, it is a problem.
It can eventually be used toassert, control and isolate the
(13:52):
victim, which brings me to thenext red flag Isolating the
victim.
This one is huge.
Using tactics of jealousy oreven making their partner feel
bad for making plans with others, the abuser controls who
remains in their life.
This eventually leaves thevictim to realize they have no
(14:14):
one left to turn to.
In a healthy relationship, thecouple, of course, spends
adequate time together.
However, it is definitely okayand even beneficial for each
person to have time with othersas well.
And finally, controlling thefinances.
This is another big one.
Joint accounts can be okay andmay even be a better option,
(14:39):
depending on each relationshipand situation.
However, when you have oneperson who dictates when and how
the money is spent, it's aproblem.
The victim will becomefinancially dependent, which, of
course, limits theiravailability to leave the
situation.
That's all I have for today.
(14:59):
Thank you for listening.
Sources for this episode are inthe show notes.
I will be back next week withanother story for you.
Until then, stay strong andwherever you are in your journey
, always remember you are notalone.
Find more information, registeras a guest or leave a review by
(15:23):
going to the website1and3podcastcom.
That's the number 1, I-N thenumber 3, podcastcom.
Follow 1and3 on Instagram,Facebook and Twitter at
1and3podcast To help me out.
Please remember to rate, reviewand subscribe.
1and3 is a.5 Pinoy productionMusic written and performed by
(15:45):
Tim Crow.
Hi Warriors, welcome to 1 in 3, I'm your host, Ingrid
.
Given the misconception thatdomestic violence victims are
weak or frail makes it that muchmore difficult for society to
understand.
Men can be on the receiving endof abuse, especially if the
offender is a woman.
Another misconception Men areonly victims of emotional or
(00:21):
psychological abuse, notphysical.
A German man using thepseudonym Tammy Weissenberg
bravely shared his story in hisbook titled Darjeeling Poor.
Here is his story Tammy hadrecently gotten out of a long
(00:42):
relationship and decided to takea break from serious dating.
Over time, he eventually endedup creating a dating profile on
a website.
Still not wanting to jump intoanother commitment, he couldn't
help that one woman caught hiseye.
She was someone he recognizedas living locally.
He reached out and offered upsome information about himself,
(01:03):
like his interests and hobbies.
She, however, dove into tellinghim all about her current
marriage.
Her husband was controlling andabusive in the form of physical
abuse and stalking.
The conversations must havebeen interesting enough, though,
because the two of them met fora date after two weeks of
chatting.
From here forward, I'll referto the woman as Jane, as her
(01:26):
true identity is not given, asin the online discussions.
Jane immediately continued herrant about her awful husband.
In fact, the only way she wasable to escape and make the date
was to use walking her dog asan excuse.
Tammy really felt for her.
She seemed like a nice, normalwoman and appeared very
(01:48):
emotional about her currentsituation.
No one should be treated thatway.
The two continued to meetregularly.
Jane would resume filling Tammyin on the drama at home.
She was planning on divorcingand leaving her husband.
She even secured an apartmentto move into and it appeared it
would be a smooth transition.
Meanwhile, Tammy's instinct tohelp and protect Jane grew with
(02:12):
each story she shared.
Tammy helped Jane make the moveand was surprised when her soon
to be ex-husband showed upunexpectedly.
He and Tammy engaged in acordial conversation, leading
Tammy to wonder where themonster Jane described was
Watching from the window of hernew apartment.
Jane finally had enough.
(02:32):
She ran out into the street andordered Tammy to go inside.
Despite being surprised at herabruptness, he complied.
Then Tammy overheard Jane sayto her husband you cowardly
piece of shit, I hope you die amiserable death without me.
When Jane rejoined Tammy inside, she apologized for her
(02:53):
language and blamed her outburston the stress of seeing her
husband.
The two continued to date, andabout one year after meeting,
Tammy and Jane moved in together.
Since each of them had a homefull of furnishings, they had to
decide what to do with theexcess.
That was easy Tammy simplyneeded to sell or donate all of
(03:14):
his belongings, only bringingclothing and a few essential
items.
Things went well initially.
After the move the two eventook a big step and consolidated
bank accounts at Jane'ssuggestion, but she lorded
control over the finances.
At first she just questionedTammy on all of his purchases,
(03:36):
but that led to her strictlyforbidding him to spend any
money without her consent.
And then things seemed tochange Slowly and methodically.
Tammy's friends and family werephased out of their lives.
Jane was a jealous girlfriendand wanted all of Tammy's free
time to be devoted to her.
(03:56):
Of course, she was apologeticimmediately following any poor
behavior.
You see, it was difficult forher as she was recovering from
such an abusive past.
Tammy was given a clear pictureof what kind of person Jane was
when they took a vacationtogether.
Despite not really having thetime to take off from work,
(04:16):
Tammy booked a hotel anyway tokeep Jane happy.
Unfortunately, the lodgings didnot meet Jane's standards.
She was furious with what shecalled a dirty and inadequate
place.
She took her frustration out onthe staff and refused to pay
for their stay.
She claimed the hotel was sosubpar payment wasn't warranted.
(04:38):
Tammy, not wanting any part ofthis, left and took a drive,
allowing Jane to do what shefelt necessary.
When he returned to pick Janeup, she began screaming at him,
calling him cowardly and weakfor leaving her.
Then she hit him for the firsttime in the head.
Tammy's first response was thatwould be the last time that
(05:00):
happened.
She was not going to stickaround for more.
You can probably guess whathappened next.
Jane cried.
She apologized.
She confessed her childhoodlacked love and support.
That's what led her to anabusive marriage.
Once again Tammy felt a pang ofempathy for Jane.
(05:21):
He could let this one slide,Remember.
Now the couple lived together.
Jane kept the door to her officelocked, though.
One day Tammy was curiousenough to discover what was
inside the room and he pickedthe lock.
Inside he found documentsdetailing the amount of money
Jane owed her ex-husband.
There was also a ledgerdescribing how Jane's ex had
(05:45):
enough evidence collected toprove she was in fact the abuser
in the marriage.
Tammy chose to just hold on tothat information.
Unfortunately, shortly after, acar accident added to Tammy's
predicament.
He was severely injured andrequired hospitalization and
surgery.
Once the insurance companyprocessed the claim, they
(06:07):
awarded Tammy with 7,500 euros.
He decided he would accept thepayout and open a private secret
savings account.
Jane somehow was privy to thisinformation and, after
unleashing verbal insults andthreats, she took one of Tammy's
crutches and hit him on the leg.
Then she hit him again, thistime on his leg that had just
(06:30):
been operated on.
Now that Tammy was limitedphysically, Jane ramped up her
control.
She mandated Tammy only call ortext her.
She didn't allow him access tohis laptop.
He had to update her with hiswhereabouts any time he left for
appointments.
He was given a list of chores.
When he was home, Tammy wouldbe instructed to run a bath for
(06:54):
Jane.
While in the bath he wouldbring her fruit.
It had to be the correct kind,peeled, the correct way.
Jane's instructions were alwaysspecific and if he didn't match
them exactly she would bringout the abuse, Verbal and now
physical.
Tammy found himself changinghis own behavior and attempts to
(07:15):
avoid any outbursts, but hediscovered Jane's reactions had
no predictability to them.
One day Jane revealed to Tammyshe was pregnant.
The two had not been intimatein quite some time, so it was
clear the baby was not his.
Despite that, Tammy wanted thebaby.
Tammy believed the baby wouldbring a welcome change to their
(07:38):
home.
Jane had a few stipulations.
First, the two would need toget married.
Then Jane was very clear shewould not breastfeed, nor would
she wake for middle of the night.
Needs for the baby, as you canimagine, birth of the baby did
not bring the desired changeTammy had been looking for.
The physical violence andpsychological abuse continued
(08:02):
and actually escalated.
Tammy had to seek out medicaltreatment on at least two
occasions.
Before this next event, Tammyfinally decided he had to talk
to Jane about their finances.
This gentle conversationevolved into another tirade.
Jane threw a glass bullet athim.
(08:23):
She grabbed his clothes andthrew them into the basement.
As Tammy went to collect histhings, Jane came up behind him
and kicked him down the stairs.
His large frame came crashingdown onto the leg he had
previously injured in the caraccident.
Searing pain shot through hisbody.
As Tammy looked at hisobviously broken extremity,
(08:47):
Throwing laundry down on top ofhis crumpled body, Jane demanded
Tammy figure his way out ofthis situation himself.
She turned and left him thereLying on the floor and feeling
defeated and helpless.
Tammy heard the ping of hisphone.
It was a text from Janeinstructing him to have the
(09:08):
house cleaned.
When she returned in two hoursWith the realization that his
phone was with him, Tammy made afew phone calls.
One was to his parents to watchtheir son for a bit, who
miraculously had slapped througheverything.
The next was to the paramedics.
He was taken to the samehospital once again.
(09:30):
Previously, less severeinjuries granted Tammy the
ability to lie about whathappened to him.
This time, however, he was onlyable to mutter, I can't say
when the doctor asked whathappened.
The doctor then asked if it wasdomestic violence.
Tammy's prolonged silence thatfollowed answered everything.
(09:52):
He didn't openly admit to whatwas happening at home out of
fear.
He was afraid of what Janewould do to him.
Another occasion Tammy gaped asJane stood in front of him and
removed her bathrobe.
Then she began hitting andscratching herself.
With each insult she wouldscream ouch, stop it, you're
(10:14):
hurting me.
Tammy was frozen with confusion.
When Jane finished, she put herbathrobe on and produced a
recorder.
She threatened Tammy withblackmail if he ever were to
tell.
During one of Jane's attacks.
Tammy managed to escape to hiscar, Driving around aimlessly.
He came upon a conclusion tohis woes.
(10:36):
He parked the car and climbed atall tower.
As he contemplated his nextactions, a neighbor with Jane
and Toe pulled up.
The neighbor convinced Tammy tocome down.
Once home, Tammy reflected onhis life and how close he had
come to ending it.
He decided from that moment hehad no choice but to leave Jane.
(10:59):
If he was willing to end hislife, then he could endure
whatever happened to him withhis attempt to escape.
I really hate to leave youhanging, but based on the
translation done by thepodcasters in the isolation
podcast episodes, Tammy ends thestory here.
While most of the informationbased on his story is in German,
(11:20):
I was able to find an articlein English that mentioned Tammy
has started a support group toassist men in similar situations
.
He also emphasized writing hisbook was not to get back at his
former partner but to bringawareness to domestic violence,
especially in men.
Now, if you have been followingthis podcast, you are hopefully
(11:41):
beginning to recognize that thephysical violence inflicted is
often following a systemicbreakdown of the victim through
psychological and emotionalabuse.
The perpetrator dismantlestheir victim until she or he no
longer recognizes themselves.
It's when that person has beenmanipulated enough to believe
(12:02):
they are the cause of the abuseto them and is fearful of
repercussions of either moreabuse or even blackmail, that
the abuser is able to unleashall their aggression.
An important takeaway is theviolence always escalates.
The best way to stop domesticviolence is avoiding it
(12:22):
altogether.
I want to point out a few thingsin this story.
Looking from the outside andhearing the details of Tammy and
Jane's relationship, it's quiteeasy to identify the red flags,
but when one is in it anddealing with a master
manipulator, those flags aren'tso apparent.
Let me share some of those redflags that stuck out to me.
(12:45):
The first one Jane oversharedabout her abuse from her husband
as soon as she and Tammy beganconnecting.
This is called trauma dumping.
It is a tactic abusers may useto gain empathy from their
potential partner, as in Tammy'scase.
That empathy evolved intofeeling a responsibility to help
(13:05):
Jane.
Just a quick side note traumadumping isn't exclusive to
abusers.
It could be something anindividual does due to nerves or
even because they haven'tadequately processed the trauma
they truly did experience.
In any case, it is a red flagthat you should perhaps just pay
attention to Number twoJealousy.
(13:29):
Okay, so it is normal to havelittle pangs of jealousy in
certain situations.
The red flag is how thatjealousy is portrayed.
When an individual such as Janeuses it to demand all attention
and free time be devoted tothem, it is a problem.
It can eventually be used toassert, control and isolate the
(13:52):
victim, which brings me to thenext red flag Isolating the
victim.
This one is huge.
Using tactics of jealousy oreven making their partner feel
bad for making plans with others, the abuser controls who
remains in their life.
This eventually leaves thevictim to realize they have no
(14:14):
one left to turn to.
In a healthy relationship, thecouple, of course, spends
adequate time together.
However, it is definitely okayand even beneficial for each
person to have time with othersas well.
And finally, controlling thefinances.
This is another big one.
Joint accounts can be okay andmay even be a better option,
(14:39):
depending on each relationshipand situation.
However, when you have oneperson who dictates when and how
the money is spent, it's aproblem.
The victim will becomefinancially dependent, which, of
course, limits theiravailability to leave the
situation.
That's all I have for today.
(14:59):
Thank you for listening.
Sources for this episode are inthe show notes.
I will be back next week withanother story for you.
Until then, stay strong andwherever you are in your journey
, always remember you are notalone.
Find more information, registeras a guest or leave a review by
(15:23):
going to the website1and3podcastcom.
That's the number 1, I-N thenumber 3, podcastcom.
Follow 1and3 on Instagram,Facebook and Twitter at
1and3podcast To help me out.
Please remember to rate, reviewand subscribe.
1and3 is a.5 Pinoy productionMusic written and performed by
(15:45):
Tim Crow.
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