March 9, 2025 • 36 mins
Walking alone at night doesn't have to be a terrifying prospect, but awareness is key, especially for women. Join us as we unravel a decade-old article, recently revived on LinkedIn, that shines a sobering light on how attackers identify potential victims. The insights, shared by police officer Martin Katz, guide us through scenarios like accepting drinks from strangers and the perils of using rideshares after a night out. We promise you'll walk away with a stronger sense of how to navigate these situations with confidence and caution.
Parking lots and public restrooms aren't just mundane locations—they're hotspots where predators often prey on the unsuspecting. We explore these unsettling truths and arm you with practical strategies to stay safe, such as projecting confidence and employing everyday items as defensive tools. If you're in a field like real estate that requires trusting strangers, we discuss protocols that could safeguard you in professional settings. Your personal anecdotes and our own experiences underscore the necessity of heightened awareness.
With safety top of mind, we transition from the serious to the playful, as we share stories of youthful recklessness that could make anyone cringe or chuckle. We also tackle the age-old question: are panty lines sexy? Our discussion on undergarment choices adds a lighter touch, all while reinforcing our ultimate message: stay stylish, stay smart, and most importantly, stay safe. Join our conversation to better equip yourself against potential threats and learn how to balance safety with style in every aspect of your life.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to a Blonde, a Brunette and a Mike podcast.
We're just two Seattle bestieswho keep it real, definitely
unfiltered, and are always readyfor a laugh.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I'm Michelle the Blonde, hey there, and I'm Jules
the Brunette.
Join us as we dive into all ofthe juicy topics like dating,
women's health, sex politics,relationships and everything in
between.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
We each have our own unique perspective and don't
always see eye to eye, but thatjust makes our conversations
that much more interesting.
That's right.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
So if you're looking for a podcast that's both
entertaining and honest, I thinkwe've got you covered.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Two authentic women, both with real talk let's go say
I'd like to know where you gotthe notion what notion?
You don't even know what to sayto that, do you?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
what?
What song are you singing?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
are you don't know that song?
No, it's not like from the boatdon't rock the boat, baby.
Rock the boat, don't tip theboat over.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
yeah, okay, now that song.
Yeah, because you'reharmonizing really well, that's
a good one.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Why do you think you're singing that?
I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
It's just you know.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Apparently, Michelle's gonna be rocking the
boat today.
Something's rocking.
I don't know what's rocking,but I'm just glad to be
recording.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Can we just talk about that right now?
Weird, it's like a good thingand we got actually good things
to talk about today.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
We do, we do, and actually you know, ladies and
gentlemen but ladies inparticular we were hoping to
have a little chat about safetyand we'd run across an article
that we wanted to talk with youguys about.
But before we do that I knowMichelle was saying how we want
to start our episodes out justwith a little thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yeah, thanks for listening, thanks for
downloading.
Continue to do so.
Share with your friends, tellthem about a blonde or brunette
and a mic podcast, and rememberto download.
We're out there on all thesocials Facebook YouTube.
Check out YouTube socials.
(02:09):
Facebook YouTube check outYouTube.
Youtube is the full episode,video wise, and then audio.
You can catch us on any of yourfavorite podcast platforms, so
just do that.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Just do it.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
You got the notion.
Maybe that's why I sang thatsong.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
All right.
Well, I don't know.
But I don't even know who singsthat song.
I think it's a one hit wonder.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
But we're just going to go with it.
It's my one-hit wonder now.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yeah Well okay, so this article I was going to kind
of share, so what?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
No, I was just going to say Julie told me about this
and it was super one, superinteresting because of the
perspective she's going toexplain here in a second.
So there's all you know.
We've talked about girl codeand you know when we go out and
there's all these things inregard to safety, but this is a
(02:55):
totally different perspective.
So tell them, jules.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Okay, Well, there was an article that had been posted
about 10 years ago actually,and we were trying to find the
origin of it, but it had beenshared so many times.
We ended up finding it actuallyby a gentleman named Martin
Katz.
He's a police officer, and hehad posted it or reposted it on
LinkedIn in 2023.
(03:23):
But it looks like it dates backto like 2013.
And what it was was aninterview that had been
completed by someone we don'tknow who to credit, and that
person had interviewed rapiststhat had been in prison and
getting Rapists in prison yeahwell, they were in prison, but
(03:43):
they were actually willing tospeak with him for whatever
reason, and they were sharing,kind of their tips and tricks on
who they identified as the mostviable victims Vulnerable
ladies.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Yeah, vulnerable, viable.
Who's the most vulnerable outthere?
And what are some of thetelltale signs?
Tell signs.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Well, and we were chatting about this a little bit
, you know, when we werepreparing, because we thought
about you know, there'ssomething about safety with
women that obviously you know.
It can be safety with men too,right, but women are going to be
a victim if they're puttingthemselves in a position by
walking somewhere, quietlywalking, you know, at night.
(04:24):
By walking somewhere, quietlywalking at night, whatever I
mean, the reality is that wecould potentially be someone who
is looked at as a target.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Getting in an Uber having drank too much and you're
in there alone letting somebodybuy you a drink when you're out
.
All kinds of differentscenarios.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I was actually.
I was telling you I was outwith a friend last night and we
were talking about this becausethere he was sharing with me how
he didn't pour the water.
Before I got there he had afull like thing of water and he
was like I didn't pour thisbecause he goes.
He learned from someone elsesome other friend that he knew,
or a woman, whatever that he hadoffered to get a drink for this
(05:03):
person before they got towherever they were going, and or
he was already there and shesaid, no, that's fine, I'll get
it when I get there.
And he thought that was kind ofodd.
And then when she got there, hewas like how come you didn't
want me to?
He didn't take it.
He took it like, oh, she's soindependent that she doesn't
even want me to buy a drink.
But that wasn't it at all.
It was more like no, I know you, but I don't know you that well
(05:25):
and you know I don't want totake a drink from somebody who I
don't know, yeah, or have waterpoured by somebody that I don't
know, or have someone bring adrink to me that I don't know,
because they could slipsomething in it prior.
That's absolutely right.
And I do have a friend that thathas happened to.
So do I?
Yeah, yeah, so it is somethingthat can take place and that is
(05:51):
a safety notion that you know,when we're out and about, you
always are kind of paired up oryou're trying to be ensuring
that your friends are safe andthat you're safe and everything,
so you kind of watch out foreach other.
Yeah, but there's plenty oftimes when you are in the mall
parking lot or when you are inthe parking lot of the grocery
store or something, you're onyour own, you know you're by
yourself, and so those are theplaces where these kinds of
(06:13):
things can potentially happen.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Vulnerability yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I don't think that having.
I don't think it's toxicallyfeminine to say that we want to
have another set of eyes on uswhen we're walking to our car.
I don't think that's the caseat all.
Some people might.
I think it's smart to do thingslike that, but as women, I know
we were talking about how youare independent or you want to
(06:43):
be independent.
You want to be independent, youwant to be self sufficient, you
want to be in a place where youdon't need to have somebody
help you with those things,because you don't look at
yourself as a target.
I mean, I don't look at myselfthat way.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Well, you were just we.
We were just talking earlierabout a situation where you were
out.
You went to this event becauseyou were invited.
It's not.
It wasn't in the best.
There's a lot of creativepockets in Seattle.
Let me just explain that.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
It was an icky pocket .
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Some of the creative pockets are not in the best
places, but there's some coolass things that happen in these
places, right?
So it was that type of ascenario and you had driven
there on your own and parked acouple blocks away and had to
walk, and it's in the eveningtime, don't?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
forget blistery, cold and rainy and dark, the same.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yeah, so, and then, when the event was over, you
tell them, jules.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Oh, the individual that invited me to the event was
, you know, busy handling allkinds of people, you know,
making sure he was the host,right, and so I was just getting
ready to head out, there wasprobably at least 100 people
still there and so I just saidgoodbye.
I was like I'm going to getgoing and said goodbye and he
goes do you want me to walk youto your car?
And I said no, I got it, I yourcar.
(08:05):
And I said no, I got it, I'mfine.
And and he said Okay, I mean,he went back to doing what he
was doing.
But he asked and I left and Iwent downstairs and I went out
the door and I'm like that wasprobably not very smart of me to
do that and not have him walkyou.
Yeah, and it's like I wasfeeling bad because I didn't
want to pull him away from theevent.
He was a gentleman, totallyoffered.
And then you know, here I ambeing this, you know, woman who
(08:27):
can take care of herself, right,it's like this is not about me
not being able to take care ofmyself.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
No, and it's.
We'll talk about that, becausewomen and being sympathetic,
this is one of the things thatwe're talking about.
You wanted him to be able to doas an event and not take him
away, and I was like, but heinvited you there.
If he's asking, do you want meto walk you?
Yes, Walk me to my car please.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Yeah.
So then when I was out lastnight, I same kind of scenario
we walking out to our cars,parked in different places and
stuff, and I remembered thefeeling that I had had the week
before when I'd been at thisevent.
And so we're walking out andhe's like do you want me to walk
you to your car?
Speaker 1 (09:06):
And I'm like, yeah, I didn't even hesitate, not
wanting to feel like that again.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, and this area I didn't feel unsafe Really,
there were people around andeverything.
But I mean a lot of it has todo with this very false sense of
security.
Yeah, yeah, you can have andyou can be trained in all kinds
of different techniques to getpeople to stay away from you,
but the reality is that thereare going to be people who are
(09:31):
going to potentially look at youas a target unless you handle
yourself, maybe in a way thatwould make them want to move on
to somebody else.
It's kind of like when you're athome and you've got lights on
in your house, a car in thedriveway people are more than
likely going to go to adifferent house that looks like
nobody's home.
It's kind of similar, Somethingthey're erring perhaps on the
(09:52):
side of ease.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
You know what I'm thinking about right now.
I'm thinking about a motherwith their children.
If you behave in a certain wayas a mom and you like give a
tone of voice and do the rightkinds of things with your kids,
they're going to be like I'mgoing to leave her alone.
We'll just leave her alone fornow, Right?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Same kind of things with, you know, predators in
regard to these types ofsituations.
So, and we're going to, we'regoing to kind of go through,
we've got some lists and ofthings with regard to the
article that Julie was tellingyou about.
So it's so interesting, it'svery interesting to me Things
that are like okay, that makessense, but you don't really
think about.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
What kind of is unnerving about it?
Is that these answers or thesethings we're going to tell you
guys came from someone who wasactually convicted.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Right from the rapist .
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
And you know who and how they look for victims.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, yeah and, and they are professionals, they,
they tip, and you'll see, as wetalk about some of this stuff,
um, what we're talking aboutit's, it's like okay.
So for example here we go withthe first one your hairstyle,
yeah, so I have long hair, yeahbut it's like I know cops deal
with this too.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
It's like they don't want to have ponytails because
they can get held on to by theirponytail and everything and
I've got long hair.
So you know, I've got long hair, and long hair is kind of one
of the things that they mightlook at, and one of the one of
the components of this that wewere seeing was that people with
short hair aren't nearly asmuch victims as people with long
hair.
Yeah, for that very reason.
Now I don't have any statisticson this, I'm just telling you
(11:27):
like from the interview.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
It makes sense, though, right Ponytails, braids,
buns If it's not a messy bun,if somebody's going to be
grabbing it and throwing you tothe ground, it's going to be
messy after that, right.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Right.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
So those, because you can, they can grab onto that
and have control.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yeah, so there you go , and also the clothing, and
this doesn't go back to.
I'm not saying clothing, inthat you shouldn't dress like
that.
That's not what I mean.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Like sexy clothing yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Clothing that is easy to get off.
So perhaps in areas where it'sreally cold you're really
bundled up in things.
That wouldn't necessarily bethe case.
But summertime, thinksummertime, think you know, when
you're out and about, think ofyou're wearing shorts and a tank
top and you're in a parking lot, at the grocery store, you know
that sort of thing.
What was the other one thatwe're all really very guilty of?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Using women using their cell phone.
Yeah Right, you're completelydistracted when you're using
your cell phone, looking forthings right, digging through
your purse, different thingslike that, and walking and doing
it at the same time, and you're, you're not paying attention.
Very easily.
You can be overpowered in thatsituation.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I remember hearing a story a couple of years ago
about a woman who was downtown,downtown Seattle, walking and
talking on her cell phone andwalked right out into the street
and got hit by a bus.
Oh my goodness, like so notpaying attention.
I mean, obviously she hadsafety issues in another way.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, so this is interesting because this brings
me back to when I worked indowntown Seattle, right in
downtown Seattle right, and Iused to wear my earphone, my
earphones, and I would wearsunglasses.
And when I would walk, whetherit was whether the sun was out
(13:17):
or not, and I didn't, I wasn'tnot listening to anything, I
just made it seem that way sothat I could hear what was going
on around me and so that Icould pay attention with my eyes
, sunglasses on.
Do you know what I'm saying?
So kind of inconspicuouslybeing alert, if you will, Right?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
I don't even know if they had noise canceling back
then.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
I didn't want noise canceling.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
That's what.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I'm saying yeah, I don't know, I just I have my
noise canceling ones and I don'tput the noise canceling on.
Right, so you can hear.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, so I can hear what's going on around me, I
want to but I don't necessarilydo that.
The top three places that theserapists said that they would
look for their victims would bewhere A grocery store parking
lot?
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Yep, go figure.
Why is it all the women thatare shopping for the food?
But it is, yeah, especially theones without kids.
Grocery store parking lot, anoffice situation, office
building parking lot or parkinggarages yeah, that type of thing
.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
And they're, you know , maybe dark.
And I mean, I can think of manytimes getting going out to my
car and my car was the only onethere because I was leaving late
, you know or going to my nailplace.
I was telling you, I go to mynail place and there's, and it's
on a busy street, so you have,you park in a garage.
Well, you park in the garage,but then you take the elevator
up to the floor, but when theelevator opens it's dark.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah, that would treat me.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And then, once the door gets all the way open, the
light goes on.
But what if there was?
Speaker 1 (14:49):
somebody in there.
I wouldn't even want to get init.
I'd be like, yeah, I'll takethe next one.
You know what the other placewas Public restrooms.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I could totally see that, if you think about it.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Right, there's nobody else in there.
There's like yeah, there's.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
there's not a lot of people in those most of the time
because they're not the mostsanitary here in Washington
anyways, but um, yeah, so kindof an abandoned spot and that's
one of the top ones also.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
So just being and we're not, we're kind of
oblivious to what's going onaround you.
You know you need to get intothe restroom and get out.
It's like you're definitely Imean not probably focused
completely on what's going onaround you so that that
definitely happens.
Um, the other thing too is ifthe, if the rapist felt like
there was going to be any kindof issue or fight from this
(15:40):
person, then they would move onto someone else.
And it could be that they're,you know, looking at them, or
like they got in an elevator andsaid, hey, do you know what
time it is?
Or, you know, just kind of hadlike something directed toward
that person.
They knew that they saw them.
They knew that they wereholding themselves kind of high
and they're standing up straight, they're talking, looking them
(16:03):
in the eye More confident yeah.
They wouldn't mess with them asmuch, yeah, so that was, I
thought, kind of an importantthing to note as well.
That makes sense yeah, oh thenof course, here in the Northwest
we have bumper shoots orumbrellas.
Here in the Northwest we havebumper shoots or umbrellas All
the time, although I got to sayif you're a Northwest native,
(16:24):
you don't really have one, youjust get rained on.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
That's what they say.
Well, I'm technically not aNorthwest native, but I might as
well be, because I've livedhere for 40 years.
Yeah Right.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
You're a Northwest native.
Now.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Yeah, but I do use an umbrella.
I really don't, and you knowwhy I don don't really not like,
and I guess I see thedifference when, when Rick is
here when he comes to visit andwe're gonna run to the store or
whatever, right, and it's likeraining, I do just like run in
and out, I just go to the car, Irun in the store And's yeah,
(16:57):
it's very apparent that he's notfrom here, because he's like
let me get my galoshes.
Yeah, yeah, no I.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I don't.
I mean, I probably have onesomewhere, but you know, it's
one of those things.
It's like gloves, umbrellas,glasses, hats yeah, I lose all
that shit, so and her keys.
Oh yeah, I have one of thoselittle devices I need to put on
my keys, but that's a wholenother story, another story.
(17:25):
Yeah, that's like a, that'slike a really special thing for
me, I think it can be adeterrent to your point you know
, you know head high, head heldhigh, you know looking somebody
straight in the eye.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
If you've got an umbrella, that's you know that
can be a weapon if you will ofdefense.
So those things can be somewhatof a deterrent.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Have you had or used mace or anything?
Speaker 1 (17:55):
in the past.
I don't, but I need to.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Do I need?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
to yeah, I mean, do you feel like you could use it?
Speaker 1 (18:01):
appropriately.
Well, uh, yeah, if I needed to.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
So I mean it can't.
The question would be is likeif you're worried that it could
get pulled away from you, orsomething yeah, Then yeah.
So you have to be prepared touse these things.
It's kind of like when peoplehave a gun, you know, and they
point it at somebody, you betterdamn well be ready to use it.
True, true, same, I guess, withthe mace, but that is something
I see people carry.
It ends up in the bottom oftheir bag and, you know, for
(18:28):
real estate, you know, like Itold you, we have, you know,
protocol for open houses andthings, because there are a lot
of safety factors involved withthat.
Very similar to this, exceptthat people are coming in, you
know, and a lot of the time arethe only one there.
So you are very well prepared.
And I know realtors who haveconcealed weapons permits and
carry guns and they have them attheir open houses because they
(18:49):
are there for their, it's therefor their safety, yeah, yeah,
and I think that's great if theychoose to do that.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
And I do too.
Like yeah, I don't know that Iwould do that Some of the
stories you shared with me likestuff I wouldn't even think
about, and it's it's so true.
I I'm sure that if I was inthat type of situation, I would
have a taser, or, yeah, mace,one of the two.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Yeah, we had these.
We have these little babytasers.
They're they, they're cute.
You know, they kind of would goon your key chain or something.
Doesn't even really look likeone.
Yeah, do they work.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah, yeah, they work , as long as they're working, or
.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
I just have Mary with me and she's like I wouldn't
mess with her, you know wouldn'tmess with that girl.
Yeah, we'll go, marry Thomas onyou, anyway.
So what are some of the pointsthat maybe people can remember
when we talked about lookingthem in the face, like if you're
in an elevator or like theworst thing you could do is go
(19:48):
down and go in the publicstairwells?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yeah, use an elevator , but a stairwell is not a safe
place.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yeah, but I'll do the stairs a lot of the time just
to get some exercise, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
And that's why I was telling you recently I started
doing for exercise.
I do stairs and there's apublic place that I found
recently.
That's a great place becauseit's covered, it's lit, but it
could be it's stairs and.
(20:21):
I'm going up, you know, sixflights up and down flights of
stairs.
So you know, as we're talkingabout this, that's why I was
saying yep.
And you wear your headphoneswhen you do that, I need to get.
I actually don't.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Really.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, for that very reason.
I just like to be aware.
I don't yeah in a differentsetting.
I do when I'm at the beach.
The stairs I do, but thesestairs I haven't.
So but yeah, you just-, Becauseit's just kind of unnerving to
think that you're.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I mean, you're just trying to get a little exercise
sort of a thing, and there couldbe someone who's kind of
lurking, and I think that thereare lots of predators that are
looking for crimes ofopportunity, but there's also
ones that watch patterns.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Yeah, I was just.
That's exactly what I was justthinking of.
Changing it up and not being soconsistent with structure might
feel good for you, but in thosetypes of situations like if
you're, if you're going outrunning every morning at 5 30 am
when it's still dark, andyou're doing it the same every
single day, I think the questionwould be why the hell?
(21:24):
You know right?
Yeah, let's dig into that alittle bit.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Why the hell are you doing that at 5, 30 in?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
the morning.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Good for you, um anybody that is yeah, I, I know
More power to you, and when thelight comes back, you know even
more.
So there was one thing.
Now again, if you're in aposition or a situation where
this is something that could behappening to you, you know your
fight or flight instinctsobviously kick in.
You wouldn't necessarilyremember to do certain things.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Yeah, remember to do certain things, but yeah.
So one thing that we had runacross is that your elbow is one
of the strongest components ofyour body that you can use
Strongest.
Yeah, and your foot just kickthem in the nuts, you know
that's another one.
Or poking their eyes out yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Or pinching the, pinching the skin under the like
underarm and on the inner thigh, because it's super thin skin
there and it is painful.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
And it hurts, yeah, it can bring somebody to their
knees, and long enough, I think,for you to be able to get up
and get out of wherever it isthat you are or run.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
And be vocal, depending on the situation.
If you feel like something likeSlim Shady's about to go down,
yeah, scream bloody murder.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Scream, yeah, put your hand out, yell, stop If you
feel like something like SlimShady's about to go down.
Yeah, scream, bloody murder.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Scream, yeah, put your hand out, yell, stop If you
feel somebody's coming to youthose kinds of things, anything
to be not vulnerable and showthat you are a fighter in that
circumstance.
This is going to be more thanthey're wanting to deal with.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
So you know there's been different schools of
thought on that about do youjust be passive and hope that
they, you know, leave you alone,or that they, you know, don't
hurt you too much and that youcan get away?
Or do you run and fight and wewere talking about that because,
I mean, my instincts would beto fight as much as I possibly
(23:21):
could to get myself out of thatsituation.
Is he going to get more mad ormore frustrated?
Perhaps Would he hit you harder, would he do more harm to you?
Could be, but the alternativeis that you're kind of giving up
all your power.
So there's different schools ofthought on that and I don't
know, maybe it would just bedependent on the circumstances
(23:44):
or how they're feeling.
If they put a gun to your heador something, that might be a
different approach.
For sure.
What about, like, if they wantto just take your wallet or your
handbag?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
So I was looking at that and what I was finding is
that if somebody demands yourpurse or wallet, don't just hand
it off.
Don't just like give it to them.
You're going to want to toss itaway from you, right?
Don't just give it to them.
Toss it away from you becausethey're going to be this is what
(24:15):
the statistics show they'regoing to be more interested in
going for the wallet away fromyou, and then when they do that,
then you're going to run like abitch and get the hell out of
the dodge right.
So run, run, run.
And you know, even I was seeingtoo, too, with somebody with a
(24:39):
gun.
Same scenario you should runlike hell to get out of there
because there's a four out of100 that they're going to hit a
moving target, Right?
So if you are running, it'sgoing to be better than you're
staying at a close proximitywhere he's got that gun.
He, she, whoever.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Or multiple people.
Yeah, whatever it is, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
so run, run run.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
And I'm guilty of doing this.
This is something that when wewere kind of looking at these, I
went, oh shit, I do.
That Is when you get in yourcar Like I'll get in my car
after I'm doing a shopping thingor whatever and I've got my
little to do list and so I'mcrossing things off or trying to
figure out where the next thingis I'm going to go or whatever.
You're sitting in your car likea like a sitting duck, yeah,
(25:29):
yeah.
So I will lock my doorimmediately.
You know when I get in andtheoretically you should just
pull out of there and go on toyour next destination and you
know, try to lock the doors andleave.
Yeah, Right, yeah, I think too,you know, when we were younger
we were a lot more, I would say,innocent to a lot of these
(25:51):
things, more naive to thesethings, not really realizing, at
least myself, that people were,that there were I know this is
going to sound really Pollyannabut that there were that many
awful people in this world thatwanted to hurt you.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Well, let's be, let's be honest.
We were generation X.
Right, we were the ones thatstayed out.
We were.
We were talking about thisbecause when I would leave the
house to go play with my friend,I was literally gone all day.
If it was the weekend, you know, I've gone all day till
dinnertime.
You don't come home till it'sdinner.
Can you imagine us beingparents now?
(26:25):
We went through the 90s whereall of those things started
changing.
But, for our parents.
Right, we left the house.
We were out all day playingwith our friends.
We came home at dinnertime andafter dinner we went back out,
and I know you hear these thingsall the time, but it is true.
Literally we were out till thestreetlights came on and that's
(26:48):
when we would go home, andsometimes not even then.
Sometimes we would end up overin somebody's yard playing hide
and seek in the dark.
Kick the can, you know,whatever it was.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
you know, in the evening there's people that are
gonna be listening to this haveno concept or idea of what
you're saying.
Yeah, exactly what myexperience was when I was a kid
too.
Yeah, and that's why we aremore trusting.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Yeah because we were able to do that.
So I think that has, for me,anyways, that has definitely
carried on over.
Has for me, anyways, that hasdefinitely carried on over, and
I for sure am one.
That is more.
I don't even know that it'smore trusting.
It's just what we're used to,it's what we grew up with, based
on that example that I justshared.
(27:31):
And so you're just living yourlife.
You're going to the store,you're going shopping, you're
getting in your car, you'regoing home, you're walking to
and from down a block or two orwhatever.
This is what we've done ourwhole life, but now because we
lived before all the internetand everything else and got to
know all the bad stuff, so welived during that time.
But now we know about all theshit that's out there and cases
(27:56):
like this where they interviewrapists in prison and, you know,
share all the things that theylook for.
And thank goodness becausethere's a lot of women out there
that disappeared back in theday, that we have no clue or
that they ever found, becausethey didn't have the education
like we're able to share nowbecause of those things.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Well, and again, when we were younger.
I mean not even just kids, buteven going into, like you know,
early 20s stuff like thatbecause none of the internet,
all that stuff didn't reallyexist.
I mean, I would walk home fromschool by myself at kindergarten
six, seven blocks by myself.
Or we'd go to the corner store.
We always walked through thealleys All the time.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Yep Alley crazy things like that, just like we
would.
Yeah, you know, when we weregone all day, it's not like we
were next door, I was on theother side of the block.
We would go down seven blocksto the elementary school.
We would go down to the park,we were all over the place On
our bikes with no helmetsEverywhere, yeah, everywhere.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
We would go.
We would see how fast we couldgo down this one windy road up
by my house, and it was afour-way thing.
Like you'd come out of thewindy road and you'd be flying
across a place where cars couldpotentially be.
I am so Russian roulette rightthere, I'm telling you.
It's like the fact that I'meven here amazes the hell out of
me because I would do that asfast as I could go.
(29:17):
No helmet, and I'm like youknow, so yeah there were a lot
of things that we did that youdon't really see anymore.
Can you imagine?
Can you imagine our kids?
You don't really see anymore.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Can you imagine?
Can you imagine our kids?
I wish.
Sorry we're digressing a littlebit and going down a little bit
of a different path here, butit's so true.
I saw a thing the other daythat was like you don't really
see kids with casts very muchanymore, for this very reason.
You can't break your armplaying a video game.
(29:51):
Yeah right, you can't breakyour arm watching TV and being
on a computer, and it's just,it's so different.
Yeah, it's where what happenedbetween the two.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Have you ever had a cast?
Speaker 1 (30:05):
I had a cast.
No, I broke my arm when I wasin kindergarten, did you yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I mean, I broke my pinky when I slammed it in the
door at McDonald's when I wassix.
That's as close as I ever came.
Of course it was McDonald's,right, anyways, anyway.
So I think what it kind ofboils down to is that it is
better to be a little paranoid,to be very mindful of what's
going on around you andprotective of yourself and the
(30:32):
people you love.
You know, sharing some of theinformation that we've talked
about today, it's way betterthan being dead, yep, or missing
A hundred percent, and I knowit's sometimes.
I've heard these things or I'vebeen in trainings or you know
whatever, and I think, oh mygosh, that stuff happens to
other people.
No, it happens to people.
(30:52):
We know it happens to us.
And there have been times when,like I had shared with you, I
cannot believe that I made it.
You know, I would do thestupidest things.
Like I was coming back.
I would think I was 21, 22,from California, desperate to
get out of wherever I was.
I was at the long story, but Iwas at this wedding and I was
trying to get back and I took abus from somewhere in middle
(31:18):
California like farmlandCalifornia to the LA.
I was going to the bus stationand then from there I didn't
have a ride.
I had no money.
You know I'm wearing and Iremember I was wearing a tank
top and a little skirt and apair of like little shoes, right
, 21 years old, 22, whatever.
I ended up hitchhiking with,well, one of the guys that was
on the bus.
I caught a ride with him andhis two friends to frickin LAX.
(31:43):
Two of the guys didn't evenspeak English.
One of the guys spoke English.
We're driving from whereverthis bus place was.
They could have taken me outinto the middle of a field and I
would never have been found.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
But they were gentlemen and they dropped me
off at LAX.
But I mean, think about that.
Does the adrenaline rush kindof go in your body when you
think and talk about it?
Still Now it makes me go whatthe hell was I thinking?
Speaker 2 (32:06):
I didn't even think twice about it what the hell was
I thinking, but back then Ididn't even think twice about it
.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
I probably thought oh he was just so kind, helping
you out in your situation.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
So, anyway, people out there, yeah, take some of
this information to heart, shareit with your daughters, share
it with your granddaughters anduse it for yourself, because it
would be way better, like I said, to kind of be mindful of these
things than be a victim.
Like I said, to kind of bemindful of these things, then be
a victim, and nobody wants tobe a victim.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Pay attention to your surroundings.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yeah, and this doesn't have anything to do with
being independent.
It doesn't have anything to dowith being a strong woman.
We are both independent strongwomen, but reality is that there
are other people that arephysically more capable than we
are.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
They're stronger than we are.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I hate to say it, but it's the reality.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
It's the reality of it.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
So I don't want to be anybody's victim and I'm going
to make sure that I'm moremindful than I was when I was 22
.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Yeah, some of the.
I mean, yeah, some of thesethings.
Just you know, it gives you areason to pause and be like wow,
because then, to your point,you think about some of the
circumstances that you've beenin in the past where not even
paying any attention, but youknow so just eliminate the
vulnerability altogether as awoman and just you know, be
(33:20):
smart, pay attention and be safeout there.
Be safe out there, ladies,everybody really.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
But yeah, shelly Bailey, are you going to ring
the bell?
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Oh, am I going to ring the bell, the bell sure
it's your question this timeit's my question, um, so let's
ring that bell and I want toknow jules, do you think it's
sexy when women have panty lines?
Are panty lines sexy?
that'd be a hell to the no, notever like so and and I know guys
(33:51):
, any guys that are listeningthis, of course, is a question
for you because, you know, maybeyou think that panty lines are
sexy, but, um, I don't thinkthey are either yeah, well, I
mean, the alternative somepeople have is that they just go
commando.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Right which commando you can go commando and you know
, be very free.
Guys do it all the time.
I'm sure women do too.
Yeah, um, that's an optionanybody ever heard the term
camel toe that's the problem,and you know, especially with
like a lot of the stuff thatpeople wear nowadays it's like,
you know, the leggings mostlyI'm thinking it's like that is
(34:26):
kind of unattractive, you know.
So I would suggest a thong, athong, yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
All right.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
I would suggest a thong.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
That'll alleviate any issues with panty lines and I
would say, going along with thetheme of being smart ladies,
just like we were, you know, besmart when it comes to safety,
be smart when it comes topanties, too, and just my
recommendation is commando.
But be smart when it comes topanties, too, and just my
recommendation is commando.
But be smart about it.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Yeah, because sometimes like you can wear it,
like like you can see it, youcan see it, and then they're in
their granny panties.
And I'm just like I'm sorryyou're too young to be wearing
granny.
This is what I want to say.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Well, and there's lots of options out there.
Now, there's lots of options.
They don't have the elastic, soyou can there.
There are panties out therewhere you can put them on and
not see the line.
So we have come a bit, you know, in in regard to evolution
there.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
So well, even if you're wearing white like
wearing white shorts, forexample.
It's an issue, right?
What do you wear under thewhite you wear, you wear nude
colored.
I mean, I wear a thong, yeah,but you wear under the white you
wear.
You wear nude colored.
I mean, I wear a thong, yeah,but you wear a nude color but
there's been times when I didn'thave the nude ones and I'm like
I guess I gotta wear purple,but I'm gonna wear a long shirt
over it.
(35:38):
So then there's no chance.
There you go.
Yeah, anyway, thank youeverybody.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Use your under choices wisely yeah, there's
that one, yeah, and stay sexy.
Stay sexy and safe.
It's kind of an important oneto stay sexy right.
And safe and safe.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, we'll wrap it up all to that, okay, and on
that note, we're done, yeah, hey, thank you so much, everybody
for tuning in and listening tosome of our banter back and
forth, and we look forward tochatting with you next week All
right, see you later Peace out.
People Bye, Bye yeah.
Welcome to a Blonde, a Brunette and a Mike podcast.
We're just two Seattle bestieswho keep it real, definitely
unfiltered, and are always readyfor a laugh.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I'm Michelle the Blonde, hey there, and I'm Jules
the Brunette.
Join us as we dive into all ofthe juicy topics like dating,
women's health, sex politics,relationships and everything in
between.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
We each have our own unique perspective and don't
always see eye to eye, but thatjust makes our conversations
that much more interesting.
That's right.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
So if you're looking for a podcast that's both
entertaining and honest, I thinkwe've got you covered.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Two authentic women, both with real talk let's go say
I'd like to know where you gotthe notion what notion?
You don't even know what to sayto that, do you?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
what?
What song are you singing?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
are you don't know that song?
No, it's not like from the boatdon't rock the boat, baby.
Rock the boat, don't tip theboat over.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
yeah, okay, now that song.
Yeah, because you'reharmonizing really well, that's
a good one.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Why do you think you're singing that?
I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
It's just you know.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Apparently, Michelle's gonna be rocking the
boat today.
Something's rocking.
I don't know what's rocking,but I'm just glad to be
recording.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Can we just talk about that right now?
Weird, it's like a good thingand we got actually good things
to talk about today.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
We do, we do, and actually you know, ladies and
gentlemen but ladies inparticular we were hoping to
have a little chat about safetyand we'd run across an article
that we wanted to talk with youguys about.
But before we do that I knowMichelle was saying how we want
to start our episodes out justwith a little thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yeah, thanks for listening, thanks for
downloading.
Continue to do so.
Share with your friends, tellthem about a blonde or brunette
and a mic podcast, and rememberto download.
We're out there on all thesocials Facebook YouTube.
Check out YouTube socials.
(02:09):
Facebook YouTube check outYouTube.
Youtube is the full episode,video wise, and then audio.
You can catch us on any of yourfavorite podcast platforms, so
just do that.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Just do it.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
You got the notion.
Maybe that's why I sang thatsong.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
All right.
Well, I don't know.
But I don't even know who singsthat song.
I think it's a one hit wonder.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
But we're just going to go with it.
It's my one-hit wonder now.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yeah Well okay, so this article I was going to kind
of share, so what?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
No, I was just going to say Julie told me about this
and it was super one, superinteresting because of the
perspective she's going toexplain here in a second.
So there's all you know.
We've talked about girl codeand you know when we go out and
there's all these things inregard to safety, but this is a
(02:55):
totally different perspective.
So tell them, jules.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Okay, Well, there was an article that had been posted
about 10 years ago actually,and we were trying to find the
origin of it, but it had beenshared so many times.
We ended up finding it actuallyby a gentleman named Martin
Katz.
He's a police officer, and hehad posted it or reposted it on
LinkedIn in 2023.
(03:23):
But it looks like it dates backto like 2013.
And what it was was aninterview that had been
completed by someone we don'tknow who to credit, and that
person had interviewed rapiststhat had been in prison and
getting Rapists in prison yeahwell, they were in prison, but
(03:43):
they were actually willing tospeak with him for whatever
reason, and they were sharing,kind of their tips and tricks on
who they identified as the mostviable victims Vulnerable
ladies.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Yeah, vulnerable, viable.
Who's the most vulnerable outthere?
And what are some of thetelltale signs?
Tell signs.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Well, and we were chatting about this a little bit
, you know, when we werepreparing, because we thought
about you know, there'ssomething about safety with
women that obviously you know.
It can be safety with men too,right, but women are going to be
a victim if they're puttingthemselves in a position by
walking somewhere, quietlywalking, you know, at night.
(04:24):
By walking somewhere, quietlywalking at night, whatever I
mean, the reality is that wecould potentially be someone who
is looked at as a target.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Getting in an Uber having drank too much and you're
in there alone letting somebodybuy you a drink when you're out
.
All kinds of differentscenarios.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I was actually.
I was telling you I was outwith a friend last night and we
were talking about this becausethere he was sharing with me how
he didn't pour the water.
Before I got there he had afull like thing of water and he
was like I didn't pour thisbecause he goes.
He learned from someone elsesome other friend that he knew,
or a woman, whatever that he hadoffered to get a drink for this
(05:03):
person before they got towherever they were going, and or
he was already there and shesaid, no, that's fine, I'll get
it when I get there.
And he thought that was kind ofodd.
And then when she got there, hewas like how come you didn't
want me to?
He didn't take it.
He took it like, oh, she's soindependent that she doesn't
even want me to buy a drink.
But that wasn't it at all.
It was more like no, I know you, but I don't know you that well
(05:25):
and you know I don't want totake a drink from somebody who I
don't know, yeah, or have waterpoured by somebody that I don't
know, or have someone bring adrink to me that I don't know,
because they could slipsomething in it prior.
That's absolutely right.
And I do have a friend that thathas happened to.
So do I?
Yeah, yeah, so it is somethingthat can take place and that is
(05:51):
a safety notion that you know,when we're out and about, you
always are kind of paired up oryou're trying to be ensuring
that your friends are safe andthat you're safe and everything,
so you kind of watch out foreach other.
Yeah, but there's plenty oftimes when you are in the mall
parking lot or when you are inthe parking lot of the grocery
store or something, you're onyour own, you know you're by
yourself, and so those are theplaces where these kinds of
(06:13):
things can potentially happen.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Vulnerability yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I don't think that having.
I don't think it's toxicallyfeminine to say that we want to
have another set of eyes on uswhen we're walking to our car.
I don't think that's the caseat all.
Some people might.
I think it's smart to do thingslike that, but as women, I know
we were talking about how youare independent or you want to
(06:43):
be independent.
You want to be independent, youwant to be self sufficient, you
want to be in a place where youdon't need to have somebody
help you with those things,because you don't look at
yourself as a target.
I mean, I don't look at myselfthat way.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Well, you were just we.
We were just talking earlierabout a situation where you were
out.
You went to this event becauseyou were invited.
It's not.
It wasn't in the best.
There's a lot of creativepockets in Seattle.
Let me just explain that.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
It was an icky pocket .
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Some of the creative pockets are not in the best
places, but there's some coolass things that happen in these
places, right?
So it was that type of ascenario and you had driven
there on your own and parked acouple blocks away and had to
walk, and it's in the eveningtime, don't?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
forget blistery, cold and rainy and dark, the same.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yeah, so, and then, when the event was over, you
tell them, jules.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Oh, the individual that invited me to the event was
, you know, busy handling allkinds of people, you know,
making sure he was the host,right, and so I was just getting
ready to head out, there wasprobably at least 100 people
still there and so I just saidgoodbye.
I was like I'm going to getgoing and said goodbye and he
goes do you want me to walk youto your car?
And I said no, I got it, I yourcar.
(08:05):
And I said no, I got it, I'mfine.
And and he said Okay, I mean,he went back to doing what he
was doing.
But he asked and I left and Iwent downstairs and I went out
the door and I'm like that wasprobably not very smart of me to
do that and not have him walkyou.
Yeah, and it's like I wasfeeling bad because I didn't
want to pull him away from theevent.
He was a gentleman, totallyoffered.
And then you know, here I ambeing this, you know, woman who
(08:27):
can take care of herself, right,it's like this is not about me
not being able to take care ofmyself.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
No, and it's.
We'll talk about that, becausewomen and being sympathetic,
this is one of the things thatwe're talking about.
You wanted him to be able to doas an event and not take him
away, and I was like, but heinvited you there.
If he's asking, do you want meto walk you?
Yes, Walk me to my car please.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Yeah.
So then when I was out lastnight, I same kind of scenario
we walking out to our cars,parked in different places and
stuff, and I remembered thefeeling that I had had the week
before when I'd been at thisevent.
And so we're walking out andhe's like do you want me to walk
you to your car?
Speaker 1 (09:06):
And I'm like, yeah, I didn't even hesitate, not
wanting to feel like that again.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, and this area I didn't feel unsafe Really,
there were people around andeverything.
But I mean a lot of it has todo with this very false sense of
security.
Yeah, yeah, you can have andyou can be trained in all kinds
of different techniques to getpeople to stay away from you,
but the reality is that thereare going to be people who are
(09:31):
going to potentially look at youas a target unless you handle
yourself, maybe in a way thatwould make them want to move on
to somebody else.
It's kind of like when you're athome and you've got lights on
in your house, a car in thedriveway people are more than
likely going to go to adifferent house that looks like
nobody's home.
It's kind of similar, Somethingthey're erring perhaps on the
(09:52):
side of ease.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
You know what I'm thinking about right now.
I'm thinking about a motherwith their children.
If you behave in a certain wayas a mom and you like give a
tone of voice and do the rightkinds of things with your kids,
they're going to be like I'mgoing to leave her alone.
We'll just leave her alone fornow, Right?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Same kind of things with, you know, predators in
regard to these types ofsituations.
So, and we're going to, we'regoing to kind of go through,
we've got some lists and ofthings with regard to the
article that Julie was tellingyou about.
So it's so interesting, it'svery interesting to me Things
that are like okay, that makessense, but you don't really
think about.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
What kind of is unnerving about it?
Is that these answers or thesethings we're going to tell you
guys came from someone who wasactually convicted.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Right from the rapist .
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
And you know who and how they look for victims.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, yeah and, and they are professionals, they,
they tip, and you'll see, as wetalk about some of this stuff,
um, what we're talking aboutit's, it's like okay.
So for example here we go withthe first one your hairstyle,
yeah, so I have long hair, yeahbut it's like I know cops deal
with this too.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
It's like they don't want to have ponytails because
they can get held on to by theirponytail and everything and
I've got long hair.
So you know, I've got long hair, and long hair is kind of one
of the things that they mightlook at, and one of the one of
the components of this that wewere seeing was that people with
short hair aren't nearly asmuch victims as people with long
hair.
Yeah, for that very reason.
Now I don't have any statisticson this, I'm just telling you
(11:27):
like from the interview.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
It makes sense, though, right Ponytails, braids,
buns If it's not a messy bun,if somebody's going to be
grabbing it and throwing you tothe ground, it's going to be
messy after that, right.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Right.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
So those, because you can, they can grab onto that
and have control.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yeah, so there you go , and also the clothing, and
this doesn't go back to.
I'm not saying clothing, inthat you shouldn't dress like
that.
That's not what I mean.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Like sexy clothing yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Clothing that is easy to get off.
So perhaps in areas where it'sreally cold you're really
bundled up in things.
That wouldn't necessarily bethe case.
But summertime, thinksummertime, think you know, when
you're out and about, think ofyou're wearing shorts and a tank
top and you're in a parking lot, at the grocery store, you know
that sort of thing.
What was the other one thatwe're all really very guilty of?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Using women using their cell phone.
Yeah Right, you're completelydistracted when you're using
your cell phone, looking forthings right, digging through
your purse, different thingslike that, and walking and doing
it at the same time, and you're, you're not paying attention.
Very easily.
You can be overpowered in thatsituation.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I remember hearing a story a couple of years ago
about a woman who was downtown,downtown Seattle, walking and
talking on her cell phone andwalked right out into the street
and got hit by a bus.
Oh my goodness, like so notpaying attention.
I mean, obviously she hadsafety issues in another way.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, so this is interesting because this brings
me back to when I worked indowntown Seattle, right in
downtown Seattle right, and Iused to wear my earphone, my
earphones, and I would wearsunglasses.
And when I would walk, whetherit was whether the sun was out
(13:17):
or not, and I didn't, I wasn'tnot listening to anything, I
just made it seem that way sothat I could hear what was going
on around me and so that Icould pay attention with my eyes
, sunglasses on.
Do you know what I'm saying?
So kind of inconspicuouslybeing alert, if you will, Right?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
I don't even know if they had noise canceling back
then.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
I didn't want noise canceling.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
That's what.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I'm saying yeah, I don't know, I just I have my
noise canceling ones and I don'tput the noise canceling on.
Right, so you can hear.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, so I can hear what's going on around me, I
want to but I don't necessarilydo that.
The top three places that theserapists said that they would
look for their victims would bewhere A grocery store parking
lot?
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Yep, go figure.
Why is it all the women thatare shopping for the food?
But it is, yeah, especially theones without kids.
Grocery store parking lot, anoffice situation, office
building parking lot or parkinggarages yeah, that type of thing
.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
And they're, you know , maybe dark.
And I mean, I can think of manytimes getting going out to my
car and my car was the only onethere because I was leaving late
, you know or going to my nailplace.
I was telling you, I go to mynail place and there's, and it's
on a busy street, so you have,you park in a garage.
Well, you park in the garage,but then you take the elevator
up to the floor, but when theelevator opens it's dark.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah, that would treat me.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And then, once the door gets all the way open, the
light goes on.
But what if there was?
Speaker 1 (14:49):
somebody in there.
I wouldn't even want to get init.
I'd be like, yeah, I'll takethe next one.
You know what the other placewas Public restrooms.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I could totally see that, if you think about it.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Right, there's nobody else in there.
There's like yeah, there's.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
there's not a lot of people in those most of the time
because they're not the mostsanitary here in Washington
anyways, but um, yeah, so kindof an abandoned spot and that's
one of the top ones also.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
So just being and we're not, we're kind of
oblivious to what's going onaround you.
You know you need to get intothe restroom and get out.
It's like you're definitely Imean not probably focused
completely on what's going onaround you so that that
definitely happens.
Um, the other thing too is ifthe, if the rapist felt like
there was going to be any kindof issue or fight from this
(15:40):
person, then they would move onto someone else.
And it could be that they're,you know, looking at them, or
like they got in an elevator andsaid, hey, do you know what
time it is?
Or, you know, just kind of hadlike something directed toward
that person.
They knew that they saw them.
They knew that they wereholding themselves kind of high
and they're standing up straight, they're talking, looking them
(16:03):
in the eye More confident yeah.
They wouldn't mess with them asmuch, yeah, so that was, I
thought, kind of an importantthing to note as well.
That makes sense yeah, oh thenof course, here in the Northwest
we have bumper shoots orumbrellas.
Here in the Northwest we havebumper shoots or umbrellas All
the time, although I got to sayif you're a Northwest native,
(16:24):
you don't really have one, youjust get rained on.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
That's what they say.
Well, I'm technically not aNorthwest native, but I might as
well be, because I've livedhere for 40 years.
Yeah Right.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
You're a Northwest native.
Now.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Yeah, but I do use an umbrella.
I really don't, and you knowwhy I don don't really not like,
and I guess I see thedifference when, when Rick is
here when he comes to visit andwe're gonna run to the store or
whatever, right, and it's likeraining, I do just like run in
and out, I just go to the car, Irun in the store And's yeah,
(16:57):
it's very apparent that he's notfrom here, because he's like
let me get my galoshes.
Yeah, yeah, no I.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I don't.
I mean, I probably have onesomewhere, but you know, it's
one of those things.
It's like gloves, umbrellas,glasses, hats yeah, I lose all
that shit, so and her keys.
Oh yeah, I have one of thoselittle devices I need to put on
my keys, but that's a wholenother story, another story.
(17:25):
Yeah, that's like a, that'slike a really special thing for
me, I think it can be adeterrent to your point you know
, you know head high, head heldhigh, you know looking somebody
straight in the eye.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
If you've got an umbrella, that's you know that
can be a weapon if you will ofdefense.
So those things can be somewhatof a deterrent.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Have you had or used mace or anything?
Speaker 1 (17:55):
in the past.
I don't, but I need to.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Do I need?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
to yeah, I mean, do you feel like you could use it?
Speaker 1 (18:01):
appropriately.
Well, uh, yeah, if I needed to.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
So I mean it can't.
The question would be is likeif you're worried that it could
get pulled away from you, orsomething yeah, Then yeah.
So you have to be prepared touse these things.
It's kind of like when peoplehave a gun, you know, and they
point it at somebody, you betterdamn well be ready to use it.
True, true, same, I guess, withthe mace, but that is something
I see people carry.
It ends up in the bottom oftheir bag and, you know, for
(18:28):
real estate, you know, like Itold you, we have, you know,
protocol for open houses andthings, because there are a lot
of safety factors involved withthat.
Very similar to this, exceptthat people are coming in, you
know, and a lot of the time arethe only one there.
So you are very well prepared.
And I know realtors who haveconcealed weapons permits and
carry guns and they have them attheir open houses because they
(18:49):
are there for their, it's therefor their safety, yeah, yeah,
and I think that's great if theychoose to do that.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
And I do too.
Like yeah, I don't know that Iwould do that Some of the
stories you shared with me likestuff I wouldn't even think
about, and it's it's so true.
I I'm sure that if I was inthat type of situation, I would
have a taser, or, yeah, mace,one of the two.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Yeah, we had these.
We have these little babytasers.
They're they, they're cute.
You know, they kind of would goon your key chain or something.
Doesn't even really look likeone.
Yeah, do they work.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah, yeah, they work , as long as they're working, or
.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
I just have Mary with me and she's like I wouldn't
mess with her, you know wouldn'tmess with that girl.
Yeah, we'll go, marry Thomas onyou, anyway.
So what are some of the pointsthat maybe people can remember
when we talked about lookingthem in the face, like if you're
in an elevator or like theworst thing you could do is go
(19:48):
down and go in the publicstairwells?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yeah, use an elevator , but a stairwell is not a safe
place.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yeah, but I'll do the stairs a lot of the time just
to get some exercise, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
And that's why I was telling you recently I started
doing for exercise.
I do stairs and there's apublic place that I found
recently.
That's a great place becauseit's covered, it's lit, but it
could be it's stairs and.
(20:21):
I'm going up, you know, sixflights up and down flights of
stairs.
So you know, as we're talkingabout this, that's why I was
saying yep.
And you wear your headphoneswhen you do that, I need to get.
I actually don't.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Really.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, for that very reason.
I just like to be aware.
I don't yeah in a differentsetting.
I do when I'm at the beach.
The stairs I do, but thesestairs I haven't.
So but yeah, you just-, Becauseit's just kind of unnerving to
think that you're.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I mean, you're just trying to get a little exercise
sort of a thing, and there couldbe someone who's kind of
lurking, and I think that thereare lots of predators that are
looking for crimes ofopportunity, but there's also
ones that watch patterns.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Yeah, I was just.
That's exactly what I was justthinking of.
Changing it up and not being soconsistent with structure might
feel good for you, but in thosetypes of situations like if
you're, if you're going outrunning every morning at 5 30 am
when it's still dark, andyou're doing it the same every
single day, I think the questionwould be why the hell?
(21:24):
You know right?
Yeah, let's dig into that alittle bit.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Why the hell are you doing that at 5, 30 in?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
the morning.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Good for you, um anybody that is yeah, I, I know
More power to you, and when thelight comes back, you know even
more.
So there was one thing.
Now again, if you're in aposition or a situation where
this is something that could behappening to you, you know your
fight or flight instinctsobviously kick in.
You wouldn't necessarilyremember to do certain things.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Right.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Yeah, remember to do certain things, but yeah.
So one thing that we had runacross is that your elbow is one
of the strongest components ofyour body that you can use
Strongest.
Yeah, and your foot just kickthem in the nuts, you know
that's another one.
Or poking their eyes out yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Or pinching the, pinching the skin under the like
underarm and on the inner thigh, because it's super thin skin
there and it is painful.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
And it hurts, yeah, it can bring somebody to their
knees, and long enough, I think,for you to be able to get up
and get out of wherever it isthat you are or run.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
And be vocal, depending on the situation.
If you feel like something likeSlim Shady's about to go down,
yeah, scream bloody murder.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Scream, yeah, put your hand out, yell, stop If you
feel like something like SlimShady's about to go down.
Yeah, scream, bloody murder.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Scream, yeah, put your hand out, yell, stop If you
feel somebody's coming to youthose kinds of things, anything
to be not vulnerable and showthat you are a fighter in that
circumstance.
This is going to be more thanthey're wanting to deal with.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
So you know there's been different schools of
thought on that about do youjust be passive and hope that
they, you know, leave you alone,or that they, you know, don't
hurt you too much and that youcan get away?
Or do you run and fight and wewere talking about that because,
I mean, my instincts would beto fight as much as I possibly
(23:21):
could to get myself out of thatsituation.
Is he going to get more mad ormore frustrated?
Perhaps Would he hit you harder, would he do more harm to you?
Could be, but the alternativeis that you're kind of giving up
all your power.
So there's different schools ofthought on that and I don't
know, maybe it would just bedependent on the circumstances
(23:44):
or how they're feeling.
If they put a gun to your heador something, that might be a
different approach.
For sure.
What about, like, if they wantto just take your wallet or your
handbag?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
So I was looking at that and what I was finding is
that if somebody demands yourpurse or wallet, don't just hand
it off.
Don't just like give it to them.
You're going to want to toss itaway from you, right?
Don't just give it to them.
Toss it away from you becausethey're going to be this is what
(24:15):
the statistics show they'regoing to be more interested in
going for the wallet away fromyou, and then when they do that,
then you're going to run like abitch and get the hell out of
the dodge right.
So run, run, run.
And you know, even I was seeingtoo, too, with somebody with a
(24:39):
gun.
Same scenario you should runlike hell to get out of there
because there's a four out of100 that they're going to hit a
moving target, Right?
So if you are running, it'sgoing to be better than you're
staying at a close proximitywhere he's got that gun.
He, she, whoever.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Or multiple people.
Yeah, whatever it is, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
so run, run run.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
And I'm guilty of doing this.
This is something that when wewere kind of looking at these, I
went, oh shit, I do.
That Is when you get in yourcar Like I'll get in my car
after I'm doing a shopping thingor whatever and I've got my
little to do list and so I'mcrossing things off or trying to
figure out where the next thingis I'm going to go or whatever.
You're sitting in your car likea like a sitting duck, yeah,
(25:29):
yeah.
So I will lock my doorimmediately.
You know when I get in andtheoretically you should just
pull out of there and go on toyour next destination and you
know, try to lock the doors andleave.
Yeah, Right, yeah, I think too,you know, when we were younger
we were a lot more, I would say,innocent to a lot of these
(25:51):
things, more naive to thesethings, not really realizing, at
least myself, that people were,that there were I know this is
going to sound really Pollyannabut that there were that many
awful people in this world thatwanted to hurt you.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Well, let's be, let's be honest.
We were generation X.
Right, we were the ones thatstayed out.
We were.
We were talking about thisbecause when I would leave the
house to go play with my friend,I was literally gone all day.
If it was the weekend, you know, I've gone all day till
dinnertime.
You don't come home till it'sdinner.
Can you imagine us beingparents now?
(26:25):
We went through the 90s whereall of those things started
changing.
But, for our parents.
Right, we left the house.
We were out all day playingwith our friends.
We came home at dinnertime andafter dinner we went back out,
and I know you hear these thingsall the time, but it is true.
Literally we were out till thestreetlights came on and that's
(26:48):
when we would go home, andsometimes not even then.
Sometimes we would end up overin somebody's yard playing hide
and seek in the dark.
Kick the can, you know,whatever it was.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
you know, in the evening there's people that are
gonna be listening to this haveno concept or idea of what
you're saying.
Yeah, exactly what myexperience was when I was a kid
too.
Yeah, and that's why we aremore trusting.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Yeah because we were able to do that.
So I think that has, for me,anyways, that has definitely
carried on over.
Has for me, anyways, that hasdefinitely carried on over, and
I for sure am one.
That is more.
I don't even know that it'smore trusting.
It's just what we're used to,it's what we grew up with, based
on that example that I justshared.
(27:31):
And so you're just living yourlife.
You're going to the store,you're going shopping, you're
getting in your car, you'regoing home, you're walking to
and from down a block or two orwhatever.
This is what we've done ourwhole life, but now because we
lived before all the internetand everything else and got to
know all the bad stuff, so welived during that time.
But now we know about all theshit that's out there and cases
(27:56):
like this where they interviewrapists in prison and, you know,
share all the things that theylook for.
And thank goodness becausethere's a lot of women out there
that disappeared back in theday, that we have no clue or
that they ever found, becausethey didn't have the education
like we're able to share nowbecause of those things.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Well, and again, when we were younger.
I mean not even just kids, buteven going into, like you know,
early 20s stuff like thatbecause none of the internet,
all that stuff didn't reallyexist.
I mean, I would walk home fromschool by myself at kindergarten
six, seven blocks by myself.
Or we'd go to the corner store.
We always walked through thealleys All the time.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Yep Alley crazy things like that, just like we
would.
Yeah, you know, when we weregone all day, it's not like we
were next door, I was on theother side of the block.
We would go down seven blocksto the elementary school.
We would go down to the park,we were all over the place On
our bikes with no helmetsEverywhere, yeah, everywhere.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
We would go.
We would see how fast we couldgo down this one windy road up
by my house, and it was afour-way thing.
Like you'd come out of thewindy road and you'd be flying
across a place where cars couldpotentially be.
I am so Russian roulette rightthere, I'm telling you.
It's like the fact that I'meven here amazes the hell out of
me because I would do that asfast as I could go.
(29:17):
No helmet, and I'm like youknow, so yeah there were a lot
of things that we did that youdon't really see anymore.
Can you imagine?
Can you imagine our kids?
You don't really see anymore.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Can you imagine?
Can you imagine our kids?
I wish.
Sorry we're digressing a littlebit and going down a little bit
of a different path here, butit's so true.
I saw a thing the other daythat was like you don't really
see kids with casts very muchanymore, for this very reason.
You can't break your armplaying a video game.
(29:51):
Yeah right, you can't breakyour arm watching TV and being
on a computer, and it's just,it's so different.
Yeah, it's where what happenedbetween the two.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Have you ever had a cast?
Speaker 1 (30:05):
I had a cast.
No, I broke my arm when I wasin kindergarten, did you yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I mean, I broke my pinky when I slammed it in the
door at McDonald's when I wassix.
That's as close as I ever came.
Of course it was McDonald's,right, anyways, anyway.
So I think what it kind ofboils down to is that it is
better to be a little paranoid,to be very mindful of what's
going on around you andprotective of yourself and the
(30:32):
people you love.
You know, sharing some of theinformation that we've talked
about today, it's way betterthan being dead, yep, or missing
A hundred percent, and I knowit's sometimes.
I've heard these things or I'vebeen in trainings or you know
whatever, and I think, oh mygosh, that stuff happens to
other people.
No, it happens to people.
(30:52):
We know it happens to us.
And there have been times when,like I had shared with you, I
cannot believe that I made it.
You know, I would do thestupidest things.
Like I was coming back.
I would think I was 21, 22,from California, desperate to
get out of wherever I was.
I was at the long story, but Iwas at this wedding and I was
trying to get back and I took abus from somewhere in middle
(31:18):
California like farmlandCalifornia to the LA.
I was going to the bus stationand then from there I didn't
have a ride.
I had no money.
You know I'm wearing and Iremember I was wearing a tank
top and a little skirt and apair of like little shoes, right
, 21 years old, 22, whatever.
I ended up hitchhiking with,well, one of the guys that was
on the bus.
I caught a ride with him andhis two friends to frickin LAX.
(31:43):
Two of the guys didn't evenspeak English.
One of the guys spoke English.
We're driving from whereverthis bus place was.
They could have taken me outinto the middle of a field and I
would never have been found.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
But they were gentlemen and they dropped me
off at LAX.
But I mean, think about that.
Does the adrenaline rush kindof go in your body when you
think and talk about it?
Still Now it makes me go whatthe hell was I thinking?
Speaker 2 (32:06):
I didn't even think twice about it what the hell was
I thinking, but back then Ididn't even think twice about it
.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
I probably thought oh he was just so kind, helping
you out in your situation.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
So, anyway, people out there, yeah, take some of
this information to heart, shareit with your daughters, share
it with your granddaughters anduse it for yourself, because it
would be way better, like I said, to kind of be mindful of these
things than be a victim.
Like I said, to kind of bemindful of these things, then be
a victim, and nobody wants tobe a victim.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Pay attention to your surroundings.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yeah, and this doesn't have anything to do with
being independent.
It doesn't have anything to dowith being a strong woman.
We are both independent strongwomen, but reality is that there
are other people that arephysically more capable than we
are.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
They're stronger than we are.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I hate to say it, but it's the reality.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
It's the reality of it.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
So I don't want to be anybody's victim and I'm going
to make sure that I'm moremindful than I was when I was 22
.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Yeah, some of the.
I mean, yeah, some of thesethings.
Just you know, it gives you areason to pause and be like wow,
because then, to your point,you think about some of the
circumstances that you've beenin in the past where not even
paying any attention, but youknow so just eliminate the
vulnerability altogether as awoman and just you know, be
(33:20):
smart, pay attention and be safeout there.
Be safe out there, ladies,everybody really.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
But yeah, shelly Bailey, are you going to ring
the bell?
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Oh, am I going to ring the bell, the bell sure
it's your question this timeit's my question, um, so let's
ring that bell and I want toknow jules, do you think it's
sexy when women have panty lines?
Are panty lines sexy?
that'd be a hell to the no, notever like so and and I know guys
(33:51):
, any guys that are listeningthis, of course, is a question
for you because, you know, maybeyou think that panty lines are
sexy, but, um, I don't thinkthey are either yeah, well, I
mean, the alternative somepeople have is that they just go
commando.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Right which commando you can go commando and you know
, be very free.
Guys do it all the time.
I'm sure women do too.
Yeah, um, that's an optionanybody ever heard the term
camel toe that's the problem,and you know, especially with
like a lot of the stuff thatpeople wear nowadays it's like,
you know, the leggings mostlyI'm thinking it's like that is
(34:26):
kind of unattractive, you know.
So I would suggest a thong, athong, yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
All right.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
I would suggest a thong.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
That'll alleviate any issues with panty lines and I
would say, going along with thetheme of being smart ladies,
just like we were, you know, besmart when it comes to safety,
be smart when it comes topanties, too, and just my
recommendation is commando.
But be smart when it comes topanties, too, and just my
recommendation is commando.
But be smart about it.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Yeah, because sometimes like you can wear it,
like like you can see it, youcan see it, and then they're in
their granny panties.
And I'm just like I'm sorryyou're too young to be wearing
granny.
This is what I want to say.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Well, and there's lots of options out there.
Now, there's lots of options.
They don't have the elastic, soyou can there.
There are panties out therewhere you can put them on and
not see the line.
So we have come a bit, you know, in in regard to evolution
there.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
So well, even if you're wearing white like
wearing white shorts, forexample.
It's an issue, right?
What do you wear under thewhite you wear, you wear nude
colored.
I mean, I wear a thong, yeah,but you wear under the white you
wear.
You wear nude colored.
I mean, I wear a thong, yeah,but you wear a nude color but
there's been times when I didn'thave the nude ones and I'm like
I guess I gotta wear purple,but I'm gonna wear a long shirt
over it.
(35:38):
So then there's no chance.
There you go.
Yeah, anyway, thank youeverybody.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Use your under choices wisely yeah, there's
that one, yeah, and stay sexy.
Stay sexy and safe.
It's kind of an important oneto stay sexy right.
And safe and safe.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, we'll wrap it up all to that, okay, and on
that note, we're done, yeah, hey, thank you so much, everybody
for tuning in and listening tosome of our banter back and
forth, and we look forward tochatting with you next week All
right, see you later Peace out.
People Bye, Bye yeah.
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