64-I Saw the Child in My Mom Traveling the Streets of Budapest

Hello and welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman.

Today I am sharing my journey back to Hungary with my mom and the joys and the lessons I learned. My mom was born in Miskolc Hungary, a large city outside of Budapest. She lived there until the Nazis killed her mom, dad, and baby sisters and took her to Auschwitz during World War Two. She was 13 years old. I have so many lessons that I have learned from my mom, a woman that survived that kind of horror. But one of the most important ones I have learned from her is hope. My mom lived with what she called rose-colored glasses. And she always said, she “put them on”. So let's all don our rose-colored glasses and head off to Budapest! I will take you along on the journey where my mom saw Hungary again for the first time since the war.

Our traveling companions were our friends Doc Liza and her beautiful partner Connie. You may remember Doc Liza from my podcast on traveling to Machu Picchu! Let’s just say that I could not have done this trip without them. My brothers weren’t able to come and I sure needed some help with my senior mom! Besides the fact that they are the best traveling playmates ever!  

Without a doubt, I can say that some of our biggest lessons come when we travel with other people. _What would you like to do today? No, you? Are you up yet? We need to get going! Eh…I’m sleeping in. Wait what?  And on and on and on!  Thank the traveling Gods Connie and Liza travel as we do! I am a believer in let’s see what happens next. Plans change! We can figure out just about anything when we let go of expectations and choose fun over stress!  Thankfully the four of us got along great. And they were saints helping take care of my mom.

So why am I sharing this trip with you today? Why was it such an important part of my own journey to self-awareness? Because this trip taught me… that inside our parents, no matter what age they are, there is still a child that is begging to be touched. And if we are lucky enough… we’ll be able to see it. Often it’s a side of them that they have not seen or experienced or touched in years. For some, it is a child spirit that was wounded. For others, it’s a child spirit filled with a light that we haven’t ever seen in our parents because of the responsibility they carried raising us.

My mom always had that light happy spirit even in her darkest hours. It was hard to believe that she lost everyone in her life and lived the horrors of concentration camp. 

It was on this trip to Hungary when I saw my mom’s  child  truly show up! She hadn’t been back to Hungary since she was a young 13-year-old girl. This trip was magical! It was as if time stood still and she was seeing Hungary now through those same 13-year-old eyes. The first time she walked down the streets of Budapest she stopped to read every Hungarian sign she could see! It had been over 60 years since her native language was on display on every corner of every street! It was so cute and hysterical to hear her translate storefront names, and street signs, and restaurant menus! The little girl in her jumped out and she felt at home for the first time since the war. It then occurred to me that I never understood how much the English language is such a part of my own identity.

Now, Where my momfinally felt at home walking these streets, I felt like a visitor seeing this country through her eyes. Though I had always been proud to call myself Hungarian American I really didn’t know my heritage at all! Ok, other than Chicken paprikash and all of the amazing food my mom would cook!

On the first day, we toured all of Budapest where much of her family had lived. She was like a child in a candy shop remembering the times she was there with her family. But it was the next moment that I will never forget. We were in Hero’s Square and there was a quartet playing classic Hungarian music.  My mom ran over to them! Next thing I know she was singing every word along with them! The joy on her face was like light beams shining from the sun! She said she hadn’t heard that song since she was young! Watching her at that moment I saw the child in my mom’s heart. She was transported back to the days when her mom and dad and baby sisters were all alive and they would sing that song together. The days when there was peace in Hungary. The days before the war.

Over the years I had taken on a different role with my aging mom.  The caretaker role. The one, along with my brothers, making sure she was safe and healthy. It is a reverse role that we all take on as our parents age. But this experience in Budapest was different. She wasn’t the mom who needed my help to be safe. Though we did have to make sure as she scurried through the streets with excitement that she didn’t fall! But, she was the  girl who she had been before the Nazis infiltrated Hungary. It was a joy I had never seen in my mom before. It was something so personal to her I alm