Episode Transcript
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Ashton (00:05):
it does in the sense that I'm not honoring it cuz
like, I'm not honoring a goalthat I've, I set for myself.
I think to me, to me personally,I would agree that
The Dad (00:12):
I'd agree with, yeah, I'd agree with your, your
statement saying I'm nothonoring my bigger goal, my
bigger why is to do music.
Right.
But when you say it doesn'thonor my degree, who freaking
cares What matters is, does it?
Ashton (00:23):
Does it honor?
Well, I, because I worked on it,you know, but
The Dad (00:26):
But does it honor where you want to go?
Right, right.
That's a real question.
Can live your life.
Last night, mom and I, mom and Iwere coming in the house when we
heard click, click, click.
I'm like, oh, somebody'spracticing a drum.
And she goes, only Ashton's thatgood.
Ashton (00:39):
I can't tell you how relieved grandma and grandpa
were that I didn't own a drumset.
They thought I, they thought Ihad one.
They're like, oh, weren't yousupposed to be moving in a drum
set too?
It's like, I haven't had a drumset in years.
Never have I ever.
Have you seen the clown thathides from stupid people?
Gideon?
I have, yeah.
Gideon (00:55):
He's hiding from me right now.
Ashton (00:58):
I found an apartment in Layton that I might be able to
get for 300 a month.
Oh, good.
Which would be awesome.
The Dad (01:06):
And who's that?
Is that by yourself or is
Ashton (01:07):
that still It's a private room.
Yeah.
Private room in somebody'shouse.
Shared house, yeah.
So there's like, it's a co-ed.
There's about six people livingin there.
I'd be one of six.
Yeah.
Do you know anything
The Dad (01:18):
about the people living in there?
Ashton (01:19):
Nope.
But I know it was like in theperfect spot and at a great
price, so I was like, please,tell me more.
But I haven't, haven't heardback yet, so we'll see.
All right.
I wouldn't be surprised if itgoes super quick, which makes me
kind of nervous, but it's okay.
The Dad (01:35):
So we're starting season six.
Season six episode one launchNow we've waited four months.
Ashton (01:42):
That's our normal upload time, isn't it?
No one every four months.
That's standard podcasting.
The Dad (01:48):
Pretty standard.
Yeah.
I think this will get us a lotof followers.
Holy C.
Season six.
That's insane.
Season six, episode three,technically Have you ever
thought about how to get whatyou really want?
Yeah.
I've wondered.
I think it's an interesting timethat we're sent down to podcast.
Some big things have happened.
(02:08):
Ashton.
Yes.
What's big new in your life?
Big and new in last,
Ashton (02:12):
since last recording.
Ooh.
well, the biggest, newest thingis I have graduated college.
You're an officially an adult.
Officially.
Yeah.
Is that what it is?
Is that, I don't know.
I think you get that card beforethen.
Yeah, I was gonna say it feelslike adulting for a bit, but
then again, I still feel like Ihaven't adult at all, so I will
see.
There you go.
We'll see where it lands.
The Dad (02:32):
So listener, as you know, we've, we haven't been
releasing on our normal scheduleand, had a lot to do with
Ashton's life.
Sorry, y'all.
Right.
How many credit hours again
Ashton (02:42):
was it?
So the full synopsis, justdropping it and dropping it
down.
How it was, I was
The Dad (02:48):
taking down how it was just like you normally
Ashton (02:51):
talk.
Yeah.
Is, I was taking, it was 18 or19 credit hours, I was doing a
senior recital, which is likethe capstone project for a, for
a music major.
Basically you just play 45minutes of music on your own.
The Dad (03:06):
I wouldn't say just, it was pretty impressive
performance.
It wasn't just show up and youplayed 45 minutes.
It was a performance.
Yeah, yeah.
With the beginning, middle, andan end.
Ashton (03:17):
Learn, learn a lot of music for that.
And then there was also a lot ofworking to pay for it all in the
midst of all that.
Teaching and other odd jobs andsuch.
The Dad (03:26):
What was the, what was the main way you were working
towards paying for thatoriginally?
Ashton (03:30):
Well, I mean, I did a lot of snow removal this, this
winter.
Did a ton.
Pulled some very long days, long
The Dad (03:37):
weeks.
Yep.
And it, and it kept going, but,you had ran out of time to be
able to finish your, your biggoals and you had to shift,
right?
You had to dig in deep Yep.
And figure out what you wanted.
Ashton (03:49):
Yeah, it was, well because it was, it was one of
those things where I made aplan.
Hey, you know what, I'll usethis to make some extra money on
the side.
And then the extra money on theside became a lot of work in the
present.
And then it became, basically, Ijust, it was very clearly too
much stuff to do at once.
So, had to shift priorities,make a couple sacrifices and
(04:12):
such, and yeah, made
The Dad (04:13):
it work.
Gideon, what you've been up to?
Gideon (04:16):
I just graduated high school, so like I had to, oh
crap.
No, I didn't back that up.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I was like whole time.
I did not graduate high school.
That's new for you.
man, I don't know what's wrongwith my brain.
Ashton (04:26):
I, you didn't graduate high school?
It's not fully developed yet,
Gideon (04:28):
yet.
I did not graduate high school.
I just finished my junior year,so I just got, I just got senior
year left.
The Dad (04:34):
But you also, Applied for or got into a different
program?
Tell us about
Gideon (04:38):
that.
yeah, so, half of my schooldays, my senior year, I'm going
to Mtech, which is a mountaintechnological engineering
college, and it's just like, Idon't know, it's like 15, 20
minutes away from the highschool.
So I go to the high school forthe first two periods, and then
the second two periods I go overto.
(05:00):
To Mtech and I have a class ondigital marketing and analytics,
so I get to do that, next yearand get, get a degree before I
graduate.
So that's, so that's
The Dad (05:11):
pretty fun.
No, that's really exciting.
I it's really gonna help towardsyour bigger purpose as well.
And that's one thing that'sexciting for the listener to
know that Yeah.
Ashton's adult or adulting inthe processor of by graduating,
doing the effort and, and.
And working extra long hours toget that done.
Gideon's made a plan thatdoesn't entail hard college as
(05:33):
far as getting a solid degreeafter high school, but he's got
a plan to get specialized skillsand training.
So I think you both have someideas on how to get what you
want.
What would you say the topthing, if you were to rank them
to get what you want in life?
What's, what's like the first, Iwouldn't even just Ashton, what
(05:55):
do you think is first andgetting, what do you think is
first, like your top priority?
Ashton (06:00):
So like what to do to.
Go after that top priority?
Is that the question youanswered?
The Dad (06:06):
Yeah.
How, yeah, how do you, you know,really how do you get what you
Ashton (06:08):
want?
I think the top priority is todo what you want.
If you wanna get what you want,you gotta do what you want to,
to get.
So, like, for me, interesting.
Yeah.
For me it was a lot of like,Like when it, when it came to
graduating, like to, to get whatI wanted, which was a degree, I
(06:30):
had to do the work to get thatdegree and there's like nothing
else to it.
And I like that.
And that's, and that's why the,the doing the extra job with it
was an extra job doing the job.
On the side of, of snow removal.
That's why eventually I had tofold cuz I realized I wasn't
doing what I needed to do to getwhat I wanted, even though it
(06:53):
was helping me, like affordgetting what I wanted it.
Like it reached a point wherethose two things couldn't
coexist.
So I had to say, you know what?
I have to do what I want to getwhat I want.
I like that.
So I think priority one.
Yeah, just, just do what youwant.
The Dad (07:10):
Do it.
Yeah.
I think that that's a simplifiedversion.
I'd agree.
Gideon, I say simplified.
There was a lot of detail behindit.
Sure, yeah.
Sure.
Gideon.
Gideon (07:20):
just like what you need to do to get what you want.
Mm-hmm.
I think it's a lot simpler thanI often make it.
And it's the most important stepis just starting.
And it doesn't matter what youstart or what you do, you just
start moving.
Cuz if you like, if you spendtoo much time thinking, you're
not gonna actually do anything.
(07:41):
So the most important step
The Dad (07:43):
is just to start.
Yeah, I, I think that's fair.
To back up.
I think there's one, one stepbefore either one of those is to
set the clear goal, right?
If I was to set back and go,what's most important, Ash, when
I asked you the question, yourbrain went to your senior year
of college.
Yeah.
You had already set that goal.
Sure.
Right?
You knew what the goal was.
(08:03):
Yeah, and and I think Gideon,that's where sometimes you
struggle.
You're going, yeah, but whatcould the goal be?
There could be five differentgoals.
Right?
I go five different ways.
What is it?
And they're like, so I just needto start one of them.
Is that fair?
Did I capture that feelingcorrect?
No, I think you got it.
So, you know, really having avery specific goal, I think
(08:25):
helps you focus your effortsand, and gives you a great
direction.
Ashton, did you write down thatgoal of graduating
Ashton (08:33):
college?
I did at some point.
I mean, did you, during the lastsemester, that writing wasn't
present anywhere in my life.
Right.
But I'm sure Cause you didn't
The Dad (08:41):
need to, it was already done, right?
No, it was, it was like, I'mwell on this path.
This is my goal.
Did you review it often?
I.
Nope.
I see.
This is where I kinda disagreewith it.
I mean, yes, but no.
There you go.
Yeah.
You didn't write, you didn'treview the written
Ashton (08:54):
goal.
No, but the internal goal wasNo.
Every day it was like, I havegot to freaking graduate
college.
I have no other choice.
What,
The Dad (09:02):
what?
What became my saying?
That I'd tell you over and overseizes.
The day.
Oh, seas get degrees.
Ashton (09:10):
Oh yeah.
Wrong type of seizes there.
Seizes the day
The Dad (09:14):
works too though.
Yeah.
Seizes of the day.
So, other goals though, I dohave to write down, right?
Because, and I, and I need toreview'em often, especially when
it's a brand new start.
You're like, look, I'm not in agood cadence.
I don't know what I really want.
So you set the goal.
it's interesting, I th I'm gonnaback up one step.
(09:34):
Sometimes we go to set thatgoal.
There's, there's multiple wayswe could go and so we sometimes
freeze.
I believe we freeze for one oftwo reasons.
One is we're scared, and theother one is because we're not
really clear on what we want.
Now you could putprocrastination in either one of
(09:55):
those buckets at times.
Do you agree or disagree withthat?
That sometimes not going forwardor setting those goals is cuz
we're scared or we we're notclear on what we want.
Ashton (10:08):
I think so this is funny that we're talking about that
because I'm exactly in theposition oh, I finished college.
That was, that's been the biggoal.
So it's a fresh start and I wasthinking about it a lot last
night and I couldn't sleep andI, you know, I'd always, you
know, always write down thegoals because in my brain it was
like, you know, I have ideas ofwhat I want to do, but the
clarity of, of specifics wasn't,didn't exist.
(10:30):
And I don't know if it doesn'texist in its fullest, but like
last night I wrote down a bunchof different goals and taped
them on a, on a wall, just so Icould like check'em out.
But I think the hardest thingfor me personally is, is.
Is probably clarity or specificswhen it comes to something that
I have to personally structure.
Graduating college.
(10:51):
Once you say that's your goal,or graduating, you know,
anything high school's the samewhere you say, oh, I want to
graduate.
Well, okay, take those classes,do them, and you'll graduate.
Congratulations.
But if you have a different goalthat's on your own, you want to
build something up, there's noinstruction manual.
There's plenty of advice.
But the clarity is not, notnecessarily there.
(11:14):
So finding that on your own, I'dsay is probably the more
difficult part.
The Dad (11:17):
really clarity or scared.
So as you really believe thatsometimes it's just clarity and,
and trying to find that clarity.
Gideon (11:25):
You from wanting to go forward.
I mean it could always be alittle bit of both,
The Dad (11:29):
but Totally.
But, but do they mostly See, Iused to think people were lazy.
A lot of times I would like, oh,that person's lazy.
But then as I really think aboutit, most people probably.
The, the, they could be lazy.
Let's be honest.
There's probably a smallpercentage of people that are
truly lazy, but I think mostpeople can't get clear on what
they want.
(11:50):
And then the other one isthey're scared, of rejection or
failure or what if I really goafter this and I don't succeed?
Ashton (11:58):
Yeah.
Well on the other one withoutbeing lazy is it could be the
fear of the amount of worksomething's actually going to
take.
The Dad (12:04):
Now he's scared.
Ashton (12:06):
Right, right.
Well that's what I'm justsaying.
Gets another example of scared.
Yeah.
outside of
The Dad (12:10):
Listener, I challenge you to write us, tell us I is
the data up in the night on thisone that most people don't
accomplish their goals cuzthey're.
Not don't have clarity orthey're scared.
That's just my personalexperience.
So then you've set this goal,you've got a goal, you're like,
Hey, this is what I'm gonna do.
What do you have to do afteryou've said, okay, what's a goal
(12:34):
that we feel comfortable sharingwith the group?
For example, my goal for 2023was mobility.
Right.
I wanted to be able to touch mytoes, which I have, I got to in
April, and then all of a suddennow we're in June and I've retro
grasped, and now I can't touchmy toes without balancing.
I can see my toes, but not touchmy toes.
so, so what's, you know, what'sthe next step is develop a plan,
(12:56):
right?
What are some of the plansaround your goals that you could
set?
Well,
Ashton (13:00):
that's the, that's the part that I'm, I've gotta figure
out next, because right now,like when I graduated school,
I've been telling myself eversince that I don't wanna work
for anyone or anything unlessit's in the industry of what I'm
trying to accomplish.
Because, because if I startworking for something else, it
makes my degree null and void.
(13:21):
well, if it's just
The Dad (13:22):
about honoring your degree, why do you care?
Well, I,
Ashton (13:25):
well, because the large part of getting the degree is
because it's what I wanted todo.
So it's like,
The Dad (13:31):
so, so it's not that, that it takes away from your
what, so it doesn't make yourdegree less valuable?
Well, I,
Ashton (13:38):
it does in the sense that I'm not honoring it cuz
like, I'm not honoring a goalthat I've, I set for myself.
I think to me, to me personally,I would agree that
The Dad (13:45):
I'd agree with, yeah, I'd agree with your, your
statement saying I'm nothonoring my bigger goal, my
bigger why is to PR to do music.
Right.
But when you say it doesn'thonor my degree, who freaking
cares What matters is, does it?
Ashton (13:57):
Does it honor?
Well, I, because I worked on it,you know, but
The Dad (14:00):
But does it honor where you want to go?
Right, right.
That's a real question.
Ashton (14:04):
Right.
Well, and I guess I use, I usethe degree cuz Sure.
The deeper question is there.
I use the degree cuz it's one ofthose I.
A lot of, a lot of my musicalshave been very heady where they,
they only exist in my brain.
Like saying I want to be a filmcomposer is something that I can
at the moment, like imagine andhave the small, like projects
(14:25):
that I've done as proof ofevidence and the largest proof
of evidence that I have rightnow that I can accomplish what I
want to do is the fact that Iwas able to earn a degree.
So I think valuing that degreeby saying, Hey, you know what?
I'm gonna keep going after thesesorts of things is like another,
it's like, it's, it's not onlyvalidating the work that I've
(14:46):
done, but then it's also saying,you know what, it's, it's
validating the past me tocontinue on the path towards
those goals.
Okay.
The Dad (14:55):
That makes sense.
Yeah, it does, it does to me.
Makes sense to you, Gideon?
Ashton (15:00):
Whereas if I, if I turn around and say, well, I'm just
gonna go back to what I wasdoing when I took a break during
school, which was working, andthen after work coming home and
working on my own personalprojects, like that's just as
powerful.
I mean, I can do that as well.
I could.
But at the same time, it's like,well, if I was able to put in
that much work and get this bigof an accomplishment, I can use
(15:22):
that as a stepping stone to nothave to go back to what I was
doing before.
I love it, if that makes sense.
The Dad (15:27):
Yeah.
Well, you're really in thedevelop the plan stage, right?
And so you're saying, Hey, hey,how do I make enough money to
survive in my degree, in mychosen area to honor my, my past
self?
That said, I want to be a, afilm composer.
I.
And all the work that I've doneto get to this point.
So now how do I make a plan tocontinue in my next step?
(15:50):
What's your next step?
Now?
Probably has monetary stuff tiedto it.
Yeah,
Ashton (15:57):
well it has to,
The Dad (15:59):
right?
But yeah, because you're anadult, so you need to go through
and set a budget, and that'spart of the plan.
Okay, I need to make four granda month.
How am I going to get there?
Can I earn four grand a monthworking in my chosen field or,
and maybe it's$40,000 a year,I'm making up a number.
(16:21):
You divide that by 12, saythat's what I need to make a
month.
Some months are gonna make$6,400and some months are gonna make
nothing.
And you just need to know thatyou've got the plan.
So develop a plan.
Any other thoughts on developingplans?
Stuff you guys have seen workdidn't work.
Ashton (16:38):
I think like you can take school as a model because
it's all like, school is allgoal plan based.
The goal is a degree.
The plan is what the classes youhave to take.
you can, you can take whatevergoal you have and deviate up
into steps that you see fit.
Sometimes the pass will beclearer than others.
(16:58):
But like, if a path seems likeit's gonna help you, if steps,
steps in that plan are gonnahelp you, you can just follow
them, set them, plan on them.
But if you have to change howthose steps look along the way,
that's, that's okay too.
Because like in my degree, Istarted as an education major,
and then switched over toperformance.
(17:19):
It's the same thing.
The goal, the goal changedslightly, therefore the plan
changed slightly.
and that's okay.
So like, once you set a goal ona plan, say you get a third of
the way through halfway throughand you're like, oh, this isn't
working for me anymore.
Fine.
The goal was to work for youanyway, so just change it.
It doesn't matter.
The Dad (17:37):
Right?
And that, and I, and that's stepnumber three is what Gideon
started with, which was what,what did we start talking about
when, when we first startedtalking?
Your answer to what, how to getwhat you want.
Okay.
Ashton (17:50):
I was confused.
The Dad (17:53):
What was it?
Take action.
Oh yeah.
What, what actions are youtaking towards your goals right
now?
What actions am I taking?
Mm-hmm.
Gideon (18:04):
I'm going to the gym and I'm just recording random stuff
day to day.
The Dad (18:10):
Good.
So we're taking actions, right?
So I'd like that you Ash, andeven in your conversation you
said you developed the plan, youstart moving down that plan's
path, you're taking actions, andthen you find out.
Oh, the goal's kind of changinga little bit.
Some people would say, you don'twanna hear God laugh, make, tell
'em your plans.
Right?
I've heard that from cynicalpeople all the time.
(18:34):
But the reality is, iseverything is changing.
We're in a constant state ofchange.
We as individuals, you know, thereason why you celebrate
birthday is because you're stillnot the same age.
You've changed, you know, yourbody's regenerating organisms
and cells and the world ischanging you.
You don't have to go far torealize how much has changed
(18:56):
here, just in our littlesubdivision or in our little
state with all the people thatare moving in, and you know,
it's always changing.
So your plan has to be adaptive.
But it doesn't mean that youhave to change your final goal,
right?
Yeah.
I, I just think that, that, thattaking action is so critical.
(19:19):
Af and, and then to go back andlook at your plan, right?
It's that, go back and re reviewany thought, any more thoughts
on actions.
You know, you got your goal, yougoal, you get your plan, you
start your actions.
Ashton (19:32):
I think going back to the, the quote, tell if you
wanna make God laugh, tell himyour plans.
it made me think of just acouple things, like one, I think
it's Matthew McConaughey, whenhe was asked who his hero was,
it was him in five years.
Love it.
And then five years later peopleasked him again and he was like,
oh yeah, me.
In five years I've thought aboutthat.
I haven't been able to do thatto myself.
Haven't made it valuable.
(19:52):
You know, been able, like me infive years, that's my hero.
And I'm like, doesn't reallyland for me.
But something that did land forme recently is there's this
popular YouTube creator MarkRober.
And he, he used to be anengineer for nasa.
And then, became a full-timeYouTube creator, engineering
interesting science projects.
(20:12):
The one he's most famous for ishe created, The glitter bomb.
Yeah.
Glitter bombs.
Is that really him?
Yeah, that's him.
Oh, I totally was guessing.
That's, yeah, I was trying tofigure out how to say it, but
yeah.
Glitter bomb.
Like for the porch pirates, heput it out there and they'd
steal it and they'd get sprayedwith fart spray.
Yeah.
Him.
So he, he just recently gave acommencement speech at mit,
which I'd recommend peoplelisten to, and it's, it's
(20:33):
engineer focused, but, The realinteresting concept that he did
is he said, you guys know I liketo make my videos.
I plan out in advance.
He goes, I already know what I'mgonna make for.
I think the year he put it outthere was 2050 something.
He's like, I know what my videoidea is for 2050 something, and
it's.
Gonna be you guys in 30 years.
And so he was like, he was like,everyone in this crowd is
(20:57):
eligible to be in that video,but the people are gonna be
featured are the ones who'vetaken something with their
degree and done something withit.
And so like, it was justinteresting to really
The Dad (21:05):
laid down the gauntlet.
The challenge, huh?
Ashton (21:07):
Yeah.
And it was like, it was likereally uplifting and positive.
It wasn't like, well, if you'renot good, you're not gonna, but
it was more of like, He's like,30 years is a long time.
You can do a lot and it'd be sofun in 30 years to see each
other again and tell us, tell,like tell each other what we
did.
and for me I was like, that's,that's such an interesting way
to think about it cuz it's, it'slike the same principle as the
(21:28):
McConaughey like hero of is mein five years.
But it's like there's so muchthat you can do over the 30
years and for me it was.
Just, just really interesting tothink how as that goes, your
plans will change, you know, andthe hero you will change and all
that.
It just was interesting.
Yeah.
The Dad (21:47):
Thanks for bringing that back, because I think it's
critical that the listenerunderstands and in getting you
understand that your.
The thing that currently getsyou to think deeper.
For Ashton, it was this,commencement speech.
Matthew McConaughey'sconversation says, he's my hero
in five years as me wasinteresting, right?
(22:08):
It piqued your curiosity, but itdidn't move you to action.
When you heard this othergentleman speak, you go, okay, I
moved to action.
Cuz that's powerful, right?
Yeah.
I, I, I like that.
And that's leading right into mynext one.
But before I want to, before wemove, that action step is so
critical.
I think of shooting a bow andarrow, right?
(22:29):
You know exactly what you'reaiming at.
You draw back, you're ready togo.
But until you release thatarrow, you can't hit the
bullseye, right?
You can't tell if you were evenflipping gloves.
There's times you're like, Oh, Ilet go of that arrow I shot.
for the listener, we, we love toshoot our bows.
Yes, we bow hunt, but we alsojust go out and shoot.
(22:52):
We target practice a lot becauseit's just relaxing.
But to side in a bow is quite a,quite a feat and I couldn't pick
up Gideon's bow and shoot itjust, you know, as far as an
analogy one cuz you're.
Left eye dominant.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
And, and, and not only are youleft eye dominant, but you shoot
(23:13):
left-handed.
Yeah.
And, and, I shoot right-handed,so therefore I couldn't pick up
his bow and shoot.
He could pick up the rifle andshoot the same rifle I shoot,
but he couldn't shoot a bowbecause they're set up.
So that's one.
But even if Ashton and you, andyou and, Gideon both shoot left
eye, left hand, could you guyspick up each other's bow and hit
exact bulls eyes?
(23:33):
No.
Nope.
No.
Why?
Ashton (23:35):
Why is that?
Because we're built different,different
The Dad (23:39):
sized people.
Correct.
So when you set a bow up, youactually have to set it up to
your, your height line of youreye.
The, the, the draw length ofyour arm.
You know, all these things takeinto consideration.
That's why I like talking aboutBo Bow and shooting versus
shooting a rifle, right?
I can hand a rifle to anybodyand they could, they should be
able to hit the same target,same process.
(24:01):
But a bow is so accustomed tome, just like your goals are ed
to you.
Therefore, your plans are customto you.
But you've gotta release thatarrow.
You've gotta take action.
You're never gonna get feedback.
You're gonna say, oh, I want todate the pretty girl in school.
But if I never shoot the, if Inever take my shot, if I never
try and get told no or shoot myarrow into the dirt, say, okay,
(24:22):
that didn't work right.
Let me change my plan.
My plan is still the same, mygoal is still the same, but I've
gotta see what actions I need totake that are a little bit
different.
Right?
How do I realign a few steps?
Then, and that leads me into mynext observation.
I think persistence andresilience.
You know,, I, I love that thethree of us share the vernacular
(24:44):
of the valley despair, so,Right.
We've used it.
Anybody who wants to give thelistener a 32nd valley despair
like
Ashton (24:54):
Ashton's.
Got it.
Yeah, I got it.
32nd.
You work on a project for areally long time or a goal,
you'll have a moment of.
Like, oh, shoot, unexperiencedoptimism.
And then as you get moreexperienced, you realize that a
challenge is more difficult thanyou thought.
So you get experiencedpessimism, and then as you're
continually working, you getstuck in the valley despair.
(25:16):
And then the moment you breakthrough the, the valley of
despair is a turning point.
You can either keep forward andhave a sudden breakthrough and
achieve your goal, or you canturn around and start the whole
process over again, or quit.
Yeah.
Or quit.
Sure.
and then, so the value ofdespair is, is the turning
point.
Are you going to continue withthe goal or are you going to,
(25:37):
turn around, do something else?
The Dad (25:39):
Great, great.
Thank you.
I, I love that you talked aboutthe optimism.
You just set these new goals.
You woke up last night, youstayed up late.
You write it down, you take someaction, you're like, wow, I feel
really good.
How do you feel tomorrow?
How do you feel on Friday?
Saturday, right?
Maybe still good.
Maybe it's still like, Hey, I'mgonna be eating clean.
(26:02):
Woo.
I've had no chips, or I've hadno salsa.
You show up for Father's DaySupper and the next thing you
know there's chips, salsa,cookies.
Then you go into the Valleydespair and go, okay, do I quit?
Do I restart?
Do I make a different plan?
Which is give myself one cheatdate, you know, whatev, whatever
it is.
You know, you develop the planthat's based off you.
(26:23):
Persistence and resilience, Ican't talk about enough.
I think that we forget, thecommon saying that I, I, I used
to credit to Bill Gates, andthen the last couple weeks I
found out that it's probably anolder saying, but we all.
Overestimate what we can getdone in a day.
We underestimate what we can getdone in five years, 10 years
(26:48):
because how often have I gone upto the cabin?
And, and I don't need an answerfor this cuz I know you both
will raise your hand and say,we're going to get these 50
projects done.
Or, or let's even make itrealistic we're gonna get these
five projects done.
Cuz that's not uncommon for meto do.
Yep.
And we get how many done?
Two, two half of one sometimes,cuz they're so big, right?
(27:11):
I under, I overestimate.
Holy cow, if we just dig in, wecan get all this done.
We start working and we'veworked early and we've worked
late and we're going, yeah, wecan't get it done, you know, or
this project, we don't have allthe skill set or we're missing
tools or, But if I, if wecontinually apply pressure and
persistently show up, we getthese projects are finally
(27:31):
getting done, right.
The, the house inside the houseis almost to where it's safe for
little kids to run around.
I say almost cuz there's ahandful of things that I need to
fix still, but I'm down to liketwo.
Versus even last weekend, goinginto last weekend, how many did
I have?
Probably eight projects stillopen, you know.
So, we just have to look at thatand say, okay, we're gonna
(27:53):
continually push effort, put andbe persistent, and, we
resilient, realize that we'regonna get told no.
We're gonna throw an arrow inthe dirt.
We're gonna lose an arrow.
We're gonna break an arrow, youknow, we're going to set a bad
plan.
We're gonna not record for sixmonths.
You know what?
Whatever
Ashton (28:10):
it is that's part of the plan.
But that's fair.
No.
What?
Well, it had to
The Dad (28:13):
become part of the plan.
Yeah.
It wasn't our plan last.
It wasn't part of our plan.
when we bought the, the GrowYour Show.
Yeah.
You know, we paid all that moneyto, to get in his program, but
then we realized crap witheverything else that's going on
with my job uncertainty with allthis, we needed to have you go
earn your money outside of, youknow, the podcast and then, We
(28:37):
had to change our plan.
We threw an arrow in the dirt,we broke an arrow.
Who cares?
Right?
We know what we really want toget outta this.
Is that fair?
Yep.
Yep.
I don't know that it's fair, butit's what we have to deal with.
Yep.
We can go through.
Fair.
And then, and then I think theother, the, the last thing I'd
like to talk about is justcommunication and collaboration.
(28:57):
Like share our goals, talk topeople, write into us, hit us up
on social media, follow us onReddit.
Hey guys, I'm struggling withblah, blah, blah, whatever.
Guess what?
Ashton hit it on the head.
I just got into really audienceengagement.
Ashton hit on the head, he goes,dad, you love that stuff.
Why do I love it?
Because I've lived it and Itruly believe.
(29:20):
That it's, it, it's harder thanwe think it should be, but it ea
it's easier than we perceive attimes.
Right.
So I would love to be yoursounding board.
Ashton Gide in we'll all, we'llall chip in and, and share with
you the listener, our advice andour thought process.
But feel free to communicate thereality is these goals are
(29:43):
important.
This project is important.
Whatever it is that you'retrying to accomplish is
important.
Our podcast is important.
Therefore, we're gonna keepmaking new plans.
We're gonna develop, we're gonnafix, and we're gonna move on and
continue to to have success.
it does in the sense that I'm not honoring it cuz
like, I'm not honoring a goalthat I've, I set for myself.
I think to me, to me personally,I would agree that
The Dad (00:12):
I'd agree with, yeah, I'd agree with your, your
statement saying I'm nothonoring my bigger goal, my
bigger why is to do music.
Right.
But when you say it doesn'thonor my degree, who freaking
cares What matters is, does it?
Ashton (00:23):
Does it honor?
Well, I, because I worked on it,you know, but
The Dad (00:26):
But does it honor where you want to go?
Right, right.
That's a real question.
Can live your life.
Last night, mom and I, mom and Iwere coming in the house when we
heard click, click, click.
I'm like, oh, somebody'spracticing a drum.
And she goes, only Ashton's thatgood.
Ashton (00:39):
I can't tell you how relieved grandma and grandpa
were that I didn't own a drumset.
They thought I, they thought Ihad one.
They're like, oh, weren't yousupposed to be moving in a drum
set too?
It's like, I haven't had a drumset in years.
Never have I ever.
Have you seen the clown thathides from stupid people?
Gideon?
I have, yeah.
Gideon (00:55):
He's hiding from me right now.
Ashton (00:58):
I found an apartment in Layton that I might be able to
get for 300 a month.
Oh, good.
Which would be awesome.
The Dad (01:06):
And who's that?
Is that by yourself or is
Ashton (01:07):
that still It's a private room.
Yeah.
Private room in somebody'shouse.
Shared house, yeah.
So there's like, it's a co-ed.
There's about six people livingin there.
I'd be one of six.
Yeah.
Do you know anything
The Dad (01:18):
about the people living in there?
Ashton (01:19):
Nope.
But I know it was like in theperfect spot and at a great
price, so I was like, please,tell me more.
But I haven't, haven't heardback yet, so we'll see.
All right.
I wouldn't be surprised if itgoes super quick, which makes me
kind of nervous, but it's okay.
The Dad (01:35):
So we're starting season six.
Season six episode one launchNow we've waited four months.
Ashton (01:42):
That's our normal upload time, isn't it?
No one every four months.
That's standard podcasting.
The Dad (01:48):
Pretty standard.
Yeah.
I think this will get us a lotof followers.
Holy C.
Season six.
That's insane.
Season six, episode three,technically Have you ever
thought about how to get whatyou really want?
Yeah.
I've wondered.
I think it's an interesting timethat we're sent down to podcast.
Some big things have happened.
(02:08):
Ashton.
Yes.
What's big new in your life?
Big and new in last,
Ashton (02:12):
since last recording.
Ooh.
well, the biggest, newest thingis I have graduated college.
You're an officially an adult.
Officially.
Yeah.
Is that what it is?
Is that, I don't know.
I think you get that card beforethen.
Yeah, I was gonna say it feelslike adulting for a bit, but
then again, I still feel like Ihaven't adult at all, so I will
see.
There you go.
We'll see where it lands.
The Dad (02:32):
So listener, as you know, we've, we haven't been
releasing on our normal scheduleand, had a lot to do with
Ashton's life.
Sorry, y'all.
Right.
How many credit hours again
Ashton (02:42):
was it?
So the full synopsis, justdropping it and dropping it
down.
How it was, I was
The Dad (02:48):
taking down how it was just like you normally
Ashton (02:51):
talk.
Yeah.
Is, I was taking, it was 18 or19 credit hours, I was doing a
senior recital, which is likethe capstone project for a, for
a music major.
Basically you just play 45minutes of music on your own.
The Dad (03:06):
I wouldn't say just, it was pretty impressive
performance.
It wasn't just show up and youplayed 45 minutes.
It was a performance.
Yeah, yeah.
With the beginning, middle, andan end.
Ashton (03:17):
Learn, learn a lot of music for that.
And then there was also a lot ofworking to pay for it all in the
midst of all that.
Teaching and other odd jobs andsuch.
The Dad (03:26):
What was the, what was the main way you were working
towards paying for thatoriginally?
Ashton (03:30):
Well, I mean, I did a lot of snow removal this, this
winter.
Did a ton.
Pulled some very long days, long
The Dad (03:37):
weeks.
Yep.
And it, and it kept going, but,you had ran out of time to be
able to finish your, your biggoals and you had to shift,
right?
You had to dig in deep Yep.
And figure out what you wanted.
Ashton (03:49):
Yeah, it was, well because it was, it was one of
those things where I made aplan.
Hey, you know what, I'll usethis to make some extra money on
the side.
And then the extra money on theside became a lot of work in the
present.
And then it became, basically, Ijust, it was very clearly too
much stuff to do at once.
So, had to shift priorities,make a couple sacrifices and
(04:12):
such, and yeah, made
The Dad (04:13):
it work.
Gideon, what you've been up to?
Gideon (04:16):
I just graduated high school, so like I had to, oh
crap.
No, I didn't back that up.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I was like whole time.
I did not graduate high school.
That's new for you.
man, I don't know what's wrongwith my brain.
Ashton (04:26):
I, you didn't graduate high school?
It's not fully developed yet,
Gideon (04:28):
yet.
I did not graduate high school.
I just finished my junior year,so I just got, I just got senior
year left.
The Dad (04:34):
But you also, Applied for or got into a different
program?
Tell us about
Gideon (04:38):
that.
yeah, so, half of my schooldays, my senior year, I'm going
to Mtech, which is a mountaintechnological engineering
college, and it's just like, Idon't know, it's like 15, 20
minutes away from the highschool.
So I go to the high school forthe first two periods, and then
the second two periods I go overto.
(05:00):
To Mtech and I have a class ondigital marketing and analytics,
so I get to do that, next yearand get, get a degree before I
graduate.
So that's, so that's
The Dad (05:11):
pretty fun.
No, that's really exciting.
I it's really gonna help towardsyour bigger purpose as well.
And that's one thing that'sexciting for the listener to
know that Yeah.
Ashton's adult or adulting inthe processor of by graduating,
doing the effort and, and.
And working extra long hours toget that done.
Gideon's made a plan thatdoesn't entail hard college as
(05:33):
far as getting a solid degreeafter high school, but he's got
a plan to get specialized skillsand training.
So I think you both have someideas on how to get what you
want.
What would you say the topthing, if you were to rank them
to get what you want in life?
What's, what's like the first, Iwouldn't even just Ashton, what
(05:55):
do you think is first andgetting, what do you think is
first, like your top priority?
Ashton (06:00):
So like what to do to.
Go after that top priority?
Is that the question youanswered?
The Dad (06:06):
Yeah.
How, yeah, how do you, you know,really how do you get what you
Ashton (06:08):
want?
I think the top priority is todo what you want.
If you wanna get what you want,you gotta do what you want to,
to get.
So, like, for me, interesting.
Yeah.
For me it was a lot of like,Like when it, when it came to
graduating, like to, to get whatI wanted, which was a degree, I
(06:30):
had to do the work to get thatdegree and there's like nothing
else to it.
And I like that.
And that's, and that's why the,the doing the extra job with it
was an extra job doing the job.
On the side of, of snow removal.
That's why eventually I had tofold cuz I realized I wasn't
doing what I needed to do to getwhat I wanted, even though it
(06:53):
was helping me, like affordgetting what I wanted it.
Like it reached a point wherethose two things couldn't
coexist.
So I had to say, you know what?
I have to do what I want to getwhat I want.
I like that.
So I think priority one.
Yeah, just, just do what youwant.
The Dad (07:10):
Do it.
Yeah.
I think that that's a simplifiedversion.
I'd agree.
Gideon, I say simplified.
There was a lot of detail behindit.
Sure, yeah.
Sure.
Gideon.
Gideon (07:20):
just like what you need to do to get what you want.
Mm-hmm.
I think it's a lot simpler thanI often make it.
And it's the most important stepis just starting.
And it doesn't matter what youstart or what you do, you just
start moving.
Cuz if you like, if you spendtoo much time thinking, you're
not gonna actually do anything.
(07:41):
So the most important step
The Dad (07:43):
is just to start.
Yeah, I, I think that's fair.
To back up.
I think there's one, one stepbefore either one of those is to
set the clear goal, right?
If I was to set back and go,what's most important, Ash, when
I asked you the question, yourbrain went to your senior year
of college.
Yeah.
You had already set that goal.
Sure.
Right?
You knew what the goal was.
(08:03):
Yeah, and and I think Gideon,that's where sometimes you
struggle.
You're going, yeah, but whatcould the goal be?
There could be five differentgoals.
Right?
I go five different ways.
What is it?
And they're like, so I just needto start one of them.
Is that fair?
Did I capture that feelingcorrect?
No, I think you got it.
So, you know, really having avery specific goal, I think
(08:25):
helps you focus your effortsand, and gives you a great
direction.
Ashton, did you write down thatgoal of graduating
Ashton (08:33):
college?
I did at some point.
I mean, did you, during the lastsemester, that writing wasn't
present anywhere in my life.
Right.
But I'm sure Cause you didn't
The Dad (08:41):
need to, it was already done, right?
No, it was, it was like, I'mwell on this path.
This is my goal.
Did you review it often?
I.
Nope.
I see.
This is where I kinda disagreewith it.
I mean, yes, but no.
There you go.
Yeah.
You didn't write, you didn'treview the written
Ashton (08:54):
goal.
No, but the internal goal wasNo.
Every day it was like, I havegot to freaking graduate
college.
I have no other choice.
What,
The Dad (09:02):
what?
What became my saying?
That I'd tell you over and overseizes.
The day.
Oh, seas get degrees.
Ashton (09:10):
Oh yeah.
Wrong type of seizes there.
Seizes the day
The Dad (09:14):
works too though.
Yeah.
Seizes of the day.
So, other goals though, I dohave to write down, right?
Because, and I, and I need toreview'em often, especially when
it's a brand new start.
You're like, look, I'm not in agood cadence.
I don't know what I really want.
So you set the goal.
it's interesting, I th I'm gonnaback up one step.
(09:34):
Sometimes we go to set thatgoal.
There's, there's multiple wayswe could go and so we sometimes
freeze.
I believe we freeze for one oftwo reasons.
One is we're scared, and theother one is because we're not
really clear on what we want.
Now you could putprocrastination in either one of
(09:55):
those buckets at times.
Do you agree or disagree withthat?
That sometimes not going forwardor setting those goals is cuz
we're scared or we we're notclear on what we want.
Ashton (10:08):
I think so this is funny that we're talking about that
because I'm exactly in theposition oh, I finished college.
That was, that's been the biggoal.
So it's a fresh start and I wasthinking about it a lot last
night and I couldn't sleep andI, you know, I'd always, you
know, always write down thegoals because in my brain it was
like, you know, I have ideas ofwhat I want to do, but the
clarity of, of specifics wasn't,didn't exist.
(10:30):
And I don't know if it doesn'texist in its fullest, but like
last night I wrote down a bunchof different goals and taped
them on a, on a wall, just so Icould like check'em out.
But I think the hardest thingfor me personally is, is.
Is probably clarity or specificswhen it comes to something that
I have to personally structure.
Graduating college.
(10:51):
Once you say that's your goal,or graduating, you know,
anything high school's the samewhere you say, oh, I want to
graduate.
Well, okay, take those classes,do them, and you'll graduate.
Congratulations.
But if you have a different goalthat's on your own, you want to
build something up, there's noinstruction manual.
There's plenty of advice.
But the clarity is not, notnecessarily there.
(11:14):
So finding that on your own, I'dsay is probably the more
difficult part.
The Dad (11:17):
really clarity or scared.
So as you really believe thatsometimes it's just clarity and,
and trying to find that clarity.
Gideon (11:25):
You from wanting to go forward.
I mean it could always be alittle bit of both,
The Dad (11:29):
but Totally.
But, but do they mostly See, Iused to think people were lazy.
A lot of times I would like, oh,that person's lazy.
But then as I really think aboutit, most people probably.
The, the, they could be lazy.
Let's be honest.
There's probably a smallpercentage of people that are
truly lazy, but I think mostpeople can't get clear on what
they want.
(11:50):
And then the other one isthey're scared, of rejection or
failure or what if I really goafter this and I don't succeed?
Ashton (11:58):
Yeah.
Well on the other one withoutbeing lazy is it could be the
fear of the amount of worksomething's actually going to
take.
The Dad (12:04):
Now he's scared.
Ashton (12:06):
Right, right.
Well that's what I'm justsaying.
Gets another example of scared.
Yeah.
outside of
The Dad (12:10):
Listener, I challenge you to write us, tell us I is
the data up in the night on thisone that most people don't
accomplish their goals cuzthey're.
Not don't have clarity orthey're scared.
That's just my personalexperience.
So then you've set this goal,you've got a goal, you're like,
Hey, this is what I'm gonna do.
What do you have to do afteryou've said, okay, what's a goal
(12:34):
that we feel comfortable sharingwith the group?
For example, my goal for 2023was mobility.
Right.
I wanted to be able to touch mytoes, which I have, I got to in
April, and then all of a suddennow we're in June and I've retro
grasped, and now I can't touchmy toes without balancing.
I can see my toes, but not touchmy toes.
so, so what's, you know, what'sthe next step is develop a plan,
(12:56):
right?
What are some of the plansaround your goals that you could
set?
Well,
Ashton (13:00):
that's the, that's the part that I'm, I've gotta figure
out next, because right now,like when I graduated school,
I've been telling myself eversince that I don't wanna work
for anyone or anything unlessit's in the industry of what I'm
trying to accomplish.
Because, because if I startworking for something else, it
makes my degree null and void.
(13:21):
well, if it's just
The Dad (13:22):
about honoring your degree, why do you care?
Well, I,
Ashton (13:25):
well, because the large part of getting the degree is
because it's what I wanted todo.
So it's like,
The Dad (13:31):
so, so it's not that, that it takes away from your
what, so it doesn't make yourdegree less valuable?
Well, I,
Ashton (13:38):
it does in the sense that I'm not honoring it cuz
like, I'm not honoring a goalthat I've, I set for myself.
I think to me, to me personally,I would agree that
The Dad (13:45):
I'd agree with, yeah, I'd agree with your, your
statement saying I'm nothonoring my bigger goal, my
bigger why is to PR to do music.
Right.
But when you say it doesn'thonor my degree, who freaking
cares What matters is, does it?
Ashton (13:57):
Does it honor?
Well, I, because I worked on it,you know, but
The Dad (14:00):
But does it honor where you want to go?
Right, right.
That's a real question.
Ashton (14:04):
Right.
Well, and I guess I use, I usethe degree cuz Sure.
The deeper question is there.
I use the degree cuz it's one ofthose I.
A lot of, a lot of my musicalshave been very heady where they,
they only exist in my brain.
Like saying I want to be a filmcomposer is something that I can
at the moment, like imagine andhave the small, like projects
(14:25):
that I've done as proof ofevidence and the largest proof
of evidence that I have rightnow that I can accomplish what I
want to do is the fact that Iwas able to earn a degree.
So I think valuing that degreeby saying, Hey, you know what?
I'm gonna keep going after thesesorts of things is like another,
it's like, it's, it's not onlyvalidating the work that I've
(14:46):
done, but then it's also saying,you know what, it's, it's
validating the past me tocontinue on the path towards
those goals.
Okay.
The Dad (14:55):
That makes sense.
Yeah, it does, it does to me.
Makes sense to you, Gideon?
Ashton (15:00):
Whereas if I, if I turn around and say, well, I'm just
gonna go back to what I wasdoing when I took a break during
school, which was working, andthen after work coming home and
working on my own personalprojects, like that's just as
powerful.
I mean, I can do that as well.
I could.
But at the same time, it's like,well, if I was able to put in
that much work and get this bigof an accomplishment, I can use
(15:22):
that as a stepping stone to nothave to go back to what I was
doing before.
I love it, if that makes sense.
The Dad (15:27):
Yeah.
Well, you're really in thedevelop the plan stage, right?
And so you're saying, Hey, hey,how do I make enough money to
survive in my degree, in mychosen area to honor my, my past
self?
That said, I want to be a, afilm composer.
I.
And all the work that I've doneto get to this point.
So now how do I make a plan tocontinue in my next step?
(15:50):
What's your next step?
Now?
Probably has monetary stuff tiedto it.
Yeah,
Ashton (15:57):
well it has to,
The Dad (15:59):
right?
But yeah, because you're anadult, so you need to go through
and set a budget, and that'spart of the plan.
Okay, I need to make four granda month.
How am I going to get there?
Can I earn four grand a monthworking in my chosen field or,
and maybe it's$40,000 a year,I'm making up a number.
(16:21):
You divide that by 12, saythat's what I need to make a
month.
Some months are gonna make$6,400and some months are gonna make
nothing.
And you just need to know thatyou've got the plan.
So develop a plan.
Any other thoughts on developingplans?
Stuff you guys have seen workdidn't work.
Ashton (16:38):
I think like you can take school as a model because
it's all like, school is allgoal plan based.
The goal is a degree.
The plan is what the classes youhave to take.
you can, you can take whatevergoal you have and deviate up
into steps that you see fit.
Sometimes the pass will beclearer than others.
(16:58):
But like, if a path seems likeit's gonna help you, if steps,
steps in that plan are gonnahelp you, you can just follow
them, set them, plan on them.
But if you have to change howthose steps look along the way,
that's, that's okay too.
Because like in my degree, Istarted as an education major,
and then switched over toperformance.
(17:19):
It's the same thing.
The goal, the goal changedslightly, therefore the plan
changed slightly.
and that's okay.
So like, once you set a goal ona plan, say you get a third of
the way through halfway throughand you're like, oh, this isn't
working for me anymore.
Fine.
The goal was to work for youanyway, so just change it.
It doesn't matter.
The Dad (17:37):
Right?
And that, and I, and that's stepnumber three is what Gideon
started with, which was what,what did we start talking about
when, when we first startedtalking?
Your answer to what, how to getwhat you want.
Okay.
Ashton (17:50):
I was confused.
The Dad (17:53):
What was it?
Take action.
Oh yeah.
What, what actions are youtaking towards your goals right
now?
What actions am I taking?
Mm-hmm.
Gideon (18:04):
I'm going to the gym and I'm just recording random stuff
day to day.
The Dad (18:10):
Good.
So we're taking actions, right?
So I'd like that you Ash, andeven in your conversation you
said you developed the plan, youstart moving down that plan's
path, you're taking actions, andthen you find out.
Oh, the goal's kind of changinga little bit.
Some people would say, you don'twanna hear God laugh, make, tell
'em your plans.
Right?
I've heard that from cynicalpeople all the time.
(18:34):
But the reality is, iseverything is changing.
We're in a constant state ofchange.
We as individuals, you know, thereason why you celebrate
birthday is because you're stillnot the same age.
You've changed, you know, yourbody's regenerating organisms
and cells and the world ischanging you.
You don't have to go far torealize how much has changed
(18:56):
here, just in our littlesubdivision or in our little
state with all the people thatare moving in, and you know,
it's always changing.
So your plan has to be adaptive.
But it doesn't mean that youhave to change your final goal,
right?
Yeah.
I, I just think that, that, thattaking action is so critical.
(19:19):
Af and, and then to go back andlook at your plan, right?
It's that, go back and re reviewany thought, any more thoughts
on actions.
You know, you got your goal, yougoal, you get your plan, you
start your actions.
Ashton (19:32):
I think going back to the, the quote, tell if you
wanna make God laugh, tell himyour plans.
it made me think of just acouple things, like one, I think
it's Matthew McConaughey, whenhe was asked who his hero was,
it was him in five years.
Love it.
And then five years later peopleasked him again and he was like,
oh yeah, me.
In five years I've thought aboutthat.
I haven't been able to do thatto myself.
Haven't made it valuable.
(19:52):
You know, been able, like me infive years, that's my hero.
And I'm like, doesn't reallyland for me.
But something that did land forme recently is there's this
popular YouTube creator MarkRober.
And he, he used to be anengineer for nasa.
And then, became a full-timeYouTube creator, engineering
interesting science projects.
(20:12):
The one he's most famous for ishe created, The glitter bomb.
Yeah.
Glitter bombs.
Is that really him?
Yeah, that's him.
Oh, I totally was guessing.
That's, yeah, I was trying tofigure out how to say it, but
yeah.
Glitter bomb.
Like for the porch pirates, heput it out there and they'd
steal it and they'd get sprayedwith fart spray.
Yeah.
Him.
So he, he just recently gave acommencement speech at mit,
which I'd recommend peoplelisten to, and it's, it's
(20:33):
engineer focused, but, The realinteresting concept that he did
is he said, you guys know I liketo make my videos.
I plan out in advance.
He goes, I already know what I'mgonna make for.
I think the year he put it outthere was 2050 something.
He's like, I know what my videoidea is for 2050 something, and
it's.
Gonna be you guys in 30 years.
And so he was like, he was like,everyone in this crowd is
(20:57):
eligible to be in that video,but the people are gonna be
featured are the ones who'vetaken something with their
degree and done something withit.
And so like, it was justinteresting to really
The Dad (21:05):
laid down the gauntlet.
The challenge, huh?
Ashton (21:07):
Yeah.
And it was like, it was likereally uplifting and positive.
It wasn't like, well, if you'renot good, you're not gonna, but
it was more of like, He's like,30 years is a long time.
You can do a lot and it'd be sofun in 30 years to see each
other again and tell us, tell,like tell each other what we
did.
and for me I was like, that's,that's such an interesting way
to think about it cuz it's, it'slike the same principle as the
(21:28):
McConaughey like hero of is mein five years.
But it's like there's so muchthat you can do over the 30
years and for me it was.
Just, just really interesting tothink how as that goes, your
plans will change, you know, andthe hero you will change and all
that.
It just was interesting.
Yeah.
The Dad (21:47):
Thanks for bringing that back, because I think it's
critical that the listenerunderstands and in getting you
understand that your.
The thing that currently getsyou to think deeper.
For Ashton, it was this,commencement speech.
Matthew McConaughey'sconversation says, he's my hero
in five years as me wasinteresting, right?
(22:08):
It piqued your curiosity, but itdidn't move you to action.
When you heard this othergentleman speak, you go, okay, I
moved to action.
Cuz that's powerful, right?
Yeah.
I, I, I like that.
And that's leading right into mynext one.
But before I want to, before wemove, that action step is so
critical.
I think of shooting a bow andarrow, right?
(22:29):
You know exactly what you'reaiming at.
You draw back, you're ready togo.
But until you release thatarrow, you can't hit the
bullseye, right?
You can't tell if you were evenflipping gloves.
There's times you're like, Oh, Ilet go of that arrow I shot.
for the listener, we, we love toshoot our bows.
Yes, we bow hunt, but we alsojust go out and shoot.
(22:52):
We target practice a lot becauseit's just relaxing.
But to side in a bow is quite a,quite a feat and I couldn't pick
up Gideon's bow and shoot itjust, you know, as far as an
analogy one cuz you're.
Left eye dominant.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
And, and, and not only are youleft eye dominant, but you shoot
(23:13):
left-handed.
Yeah.
And, and, I shoot right-handed,so therefore I couldn't pick up
his bow and shoot.
He could pick up the rifle andshoot the same rifle I shoot,
but he couldn't shoot a bowbecause they're set up.
So that's one.
But even if Ashton and you, andyou and, Gideon both shoot left
eye, left hand, could you guyspick up each other's bow and hit
exact bulls eyes?
(23:33):
No.
Nope.
No.
Why?
Ashton (23:35):
Why is that?
Because we're built different,different
The Dad (23:39):
sized people.
Correct.
So when you set a bow up, youactually have to set it up to
your, your height line of youreye.
The, the, the draw length ofyour arm.
You know, all these things takeinto consideration.
That's why I like talking aboutBo Bow and shooting versus
shooting a rifle, right?
I can hand a rifle to anybodyand they could, they should be
able to hit the same target,same process.
(24:01):
But a bow is so accustomed tome, just like your goals are ed
to you.
Therefore, your plans are customto you.
But you've gotta release thatarrow.
You've gotta take action.
You're never gonna get feedback.
You're gonna say, oh, I want todate the pretty girl in school.
But if I never shoot the, if Inever take my shot, if I never
try and get told no or shoot myarrow into the dirt, say, okay,
(24:22):
that didn't work right.
Let me change my plan.
My plan is still the same, mygoal is still the same, but I've
gotta see what actions I need totake that are a little bit
different.
Right?
How do I realign a few steps?
Then, and that leads me into mynext observation.
I think persistence andresilience.
You know,, I, I love that thethree of us share the vernacular
(24:44):
of the valley despair, so,Right.
We've used it.
Anybody who wants to give thelistener a 32nd valley despair
like
Ashton (24:54):
Ashton's.
Got it.
Yeah, I got it.
32nd.
You work on a project for areally long time or a goal,
you'll have a moment of.
Like, oh, shoot, unexperiencedoptimism.
And then as you get moreexperienced, you realize that a
challenge is more difficult thanyou thought.
So you get experiencedpessimism, and then as you're
continually working, you getstuck in the valley despair.
(25:16):
And then the moment you breakthrough the, the valley of
despair is a turning point.
You can either keep forward andhave a sudden breakthrough and
achieve your goal, or you canturn around and start the whole
process over again, or quit.
Yeah.
Or quit.
Sure.
and then, so the value ofdespair is, is the turning
point.
Are you going to continue withthe goal or are you going to,
(25:37):
turn around, do something else?
The Dad (25:39):
Great, great.
Thank you.
I, I love that you talked aboutthe optimism.
You just set these new goals.
You woke up last night, youstayed up late.
You write it down, you take someaction, you're like, wow, I feel
really good.
How do you feel tomorrow?
How do you feel on Friday?
Saturday, right?
Maybe still good.
Maybe it's still like, Hey, I'mgonna be eating clean.
(26:02):
Woo.
I've had no chips, or I've hadno salsa.
You show up for Father's DaySupper and the next thing you
know there's chips, salsa,cookies.
Then you go into the Valleydespair and go, okay, do I quit?
Do I restart?
Do I make a different plan?
Which is give myself one cheatdate, you know, whatev, whatever
it is.
You know, you develop the planthat's based off you.
(26:23):
Persistence and resilience, Ican't talk about enough.
I think that we forget, thecommon saying that I, I, I used
to credit to Bill Gates, andthen the last couple weeks I
found out that it's probably anolder saying, but we all.
Overestimate what we can getdone in a day.
We underestimate what we can getdone in five years, 10 years
(26:48):
because how often have I gone upto the cabin?
And, and I don't need an answerfor this cuz I know you both
will raise your hand and say,we're going to get these 50
projects done.
Or, or let's even make itrealistic we're gonna get these
five projects done.
Cuz that's not uncommon for meto do.
Yep.
And we get how many done?
Two, two half of one sometimes,cuz they're so big, right?
(27:11):
I under, I overestimate.
Holy cow, if we just dig in, wecan get all this done.
We start working and we'veworked early and we've worked
late and we're going, yeah, wecan't get it done, you know, or
this project, we don't have allthe skill set or we're missing
tools or, But if I, if wecontinually apply pressure and
persistently show up, we getthese projects are finally
(27:31):
getting done, right.
The, the house inside the houseis almost to where it's safe for
little kids to run around.
I say almost cuz there's ahandful of things that I need to
fix still, but I'm down to liketwo.
Versus even last weekend, goinginto last weekend, how many did
I have?
Probably eight projects stillopen, you know.
So, we just have to look at thatand say, okay, we're gonna
(27:53):
continually push effort, put andbe persistent, and, we
resilient, realize that we'regonna get told no.
We're gonna throw an arrow inthe dirt.
We're gonna lose an arrow.
We're gonna break an arrow, youknow, we're going to set a bad
plan.
We're gonna not record for sixmonths.
You know what?
Whatever
Ashton (28:10):
it is that's part of the plan.
But that's fair.
No.
What?
Well, it had to
The Dad (28:13):
become part of the plan.
Yeah.
It wasn't our plan last.
It wasn't part of our plan.
when we bought the, the GrowYour Show.
Yeah.
You know, we paid all that moneyto, to get in his program, but
then we realized crap witheverything else that's going on
with my job uncertainty with allthis, we needed to have you go
earn your money outside of, youknow, the podcast and then, We
(28:37):
had to change our plan.
We threw an arrow in the dirt,we broke an arrow.
Who cares?
Right?
We know what we really want toget outta this.
Is that fair?
Yep.
Yep.
I don't know that it's fair, butit's what we have to deal with.
Yep.
We can go through.
Fair.
And then, and then I think theother, the, the last thing I'd
like to talk about is justcommunication and collaboration.
(28:57):
Like share our goals, talk topeople, write into us, hit us up
on social media, follow us onReddit.
Hey guys, I'm struggling withblah, blah, blah, whatever.
Guess what?
Ashton hit it on the head.
I just got into really audienceengagement.
Ashton hit on the head, he goes,dad, you love that stuff.
Why do I love it?
Because I've lived it and Itruly believe.
(29:20):
That it's, it, it's harder thanwe think it should be, but it ea
it's easier than we perceive attimes.
Right.
So I would love to be yoursounding board.
Ashton Gide in we'll all, we'llall chip in and, and share with
you the listener, our advice andour thought process.
But feel free to communicate thereality is these goals are
(29:43):
important.
This project is important.
Whatever it is that you'retrying to accomplish is
important.
Our podcast is important.
Therefore, we're gonna keepmaking new plans.
We're gonna develop, we're gonnafix, and we're gonna move on and
continue to to have success.
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