July 5, 2023 • 28 mins
In this episode we talk about the mental and physical aspects of keeping a clean area. Some tricks on how to keep the home clean, the car clean and even the toothbrush clean.
When is the last time you cleaned something? Are you like Ashton do you love one chore and find it rewarding? Share with us what it is.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dad (00:00):
What other things that you might not think of?
Ashton (00:01):
One that is always like a question that they asked us in
high school a bunch of times waslike, what do you think is
dirtier your phone or yourtoilet seat?
And it was always, of courseit's the toilet seat.
And they're no, it's the phone.
Cuz you touch it and you neverwash
Dad (00:16):
it and you're Ew, that's gross.
Yeah.
Good one.
I like that.
Yeah.
I've, I not wipe, I, I wipe itdown every now and again with my
sleep, but I imagine that's notclean either.
No, no.
Ashton (00:26):
I like that.
That's a good one.
I think what we can do is we canjust dunk it in some soap, water
and call goods.
Yeah.
I don't think that's what you'resupposed to do.
Oh, no.
And then some rice
Dad (00:34):
I have a personal question.
Gideon, when is the last timeyou cleaned your toothbrush?
Gideon (00:39):
Cleaned my toothbrush, like with the power washer.
Dad (00:44):
Maybe in the dishwasher or just took your time.
I've took a, took a second to,to, to, to rinse it better than
normal.
Gideon (00:51):
I don't think I've ever cleaned my toothbrush.
My toothbrush is the thing doingthe cleaning.
Ashton (00:56):
Interesting
Dad (00:57):
thought, huh?
What about you, Ashton?
Let's ask you a differentquestion.
Okay?
When was the last time youcleaned your beard brush?
My beard brush.
Ashton (01:05):
That's never, I mean,
Dad (01:08):
do you even do a beard brush?
Ashton (01:10):
Some guys do on occasion.
I, I have one.
I've used it.
I generally just use a comb cuzit's the first thing I reach.
Gotcha.
It's
Dad (01:16):
okay.
It does.
Good enough.
When's the last time you cleanedyour comb
Ashton (01:17):
again?
Never.
Never.
Actually, no, that's not true.
I know I've cleaned a comb, butI don't have a date
Dad (01:23):
on hand.
Yeah, but it's been a while.
I can go back.
Same, it
Ashton (01:26):
was it yesterday?
Okay.
No, no, no, no.
It
Dad (01:28):
wasn't yesterday or it wasn't within the last maybe two
months even.
Oh geez.
Now
Ashton (01:32):
I'm gonna have to think about it.
Okay.
Give me a second.
We'll get back to the podcast ina second.
Let me, let me go through my,Daily planner.
See if I've got comb cleaning
Dad (01:41):
in there.
Anywhere you go.
Prob you probably don't.
No.
But today we're gonna focus on,it's a little bit of cleaning,
but which is really closelyrelated to emotional health.
I didn't know if you guys knewthat or not.
Gideon (01:53):
I mean
Dad (01:53):
Yeah, I could see it.
See it, yeah.
Research done at IndianaUniversity in 2000, there is a
direct relationship between aclean house and better mental
health.
Cool.
Yeah, I found it prettyinteresting.
Welcome to Adulting Decrypted,where we prepare young adults to
be independent powerhouses forlife.
I'm Roscoe the
Gideon (02:12):
dad.
I'm Gideon, and this is Ashton.
Yeah, it is.
Ashton (02:19):
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah.
You already know
Dad (02:21):
who it is.
So I kinda wanna go through thethe four things of cleaning.
Why is cleaning important?
What items to clean a cleaningschedule, and what if we have an
unwilling roommate, spouse, etcetera, that, that we need to
deal with.
And I'm looking for some, maybesome tips and tricks on that
one.
Mm-hmm.
So really the first one is whyis cleaning important?
Gideon (02:44):
I mean, I just know for myself it's really nice to be in
a clean environment and knowwhere everything is.
Cuz after, after being messy fora while, you start to just get
annoyed all the time.
Cause you're like, where isthis?
Where is that?
And like having to step over
Ashton (02:58):
stuff and whatnot.
Yeah, I have to think about it alot because, I've heard that
before.
You know, keeping clean helpsyou stay mentally healthy.
And I've tried to keep my roomsclean and I think I've noticed a
difference, but then I alwayshave this question what's the
difference between a creativespace and a dirty space?
You know, a lot of times,especially at the U, the
(03:20):
engineering group of us, We havewhat we call our creative spaces
It's this creative little space.
It's what it is.
It doesn't have to be like superclean, but I do know, like I
have a little desk that I workat When it's dirty, I don't work
as well.
Dad (03:36):
It's an interesting concept creativity.
It's kind of a beast of its ownand how you get into that zone
and how do you get there.
But here's a, here's a thought.
What about in your music roomswhere your instruments are
stored?
Is that a clean space or is thata creative space?
It's a very clean space.
Yeah.
And And why do you think thatis?
Ashton (03:56):
Well for us, we want to keep the gear nice.
Really perfect.
You just take care of the gearbecause everything was new once.
Dad (04:03):
Yeah.
And, and you probably feelbetter about it when you go in
there and you're the gear's ingood shape.
Yeah.
I know.
If it's damaged, I know where toput it.
Freeing yourself with thatemotional burden of breaking
stuff that you've paid for orhaving to go in and deal with
stressors of stuff being broken.
Yeah.
So on a creative space, I would.
Challenge you that Yes, acreative space, I think can have
a little bit of, not cluttereven, but just where you're
(04:26):
brain dumping and your buildingand you're designing makes sense
in the rush of it.
But when you're done, right,when that project's done, if
it's one hour or if it's fivedays when it's done, that you
take that time to clean it out.
I'm done with a project, I putit away I'm clean and I get to
move on.
(04:47):
Yeah.
Gideon (04:48):
Yeah.
And I think it's it's reallyimportant to remember, cause I
know I definitely do that in myown, in my own room at least.
I'll spend a day doingsomething, some sort of project,
and then the trash and leftoversis left out until a month later
when I'm oh, this, this has beenannoying me.
And I didn't really
Dad (05:06):
realize it.
Yeah.
That's interesting that it wasannoying you, but you didn't
realize that I liked that.
Yeah.
So there's a mental health and Ithink it's, I think it comes
back to the fresh starts, thecoming in and being able to go,
okay, that's like when we leavefor, for a trip up to the cabin
or we go somewhere.
I love to drive home and thehouse is clean versus.
(05:27):
Coming home with all the crapthat you took with you, and now
you have to figure out how toput it all away.
That's the worst part of a tripright there.
And you've got dirty.
I found it as you guys have gotolder, mom has established the
cadence that as soon as we pullin the driveway, everybody
pitches in and we all puteverything away versus we let it
set for a day or two or linger.
Gideon (05:48):
Yeah, I know for a fact when we pull in the driveway,
the truck is getting emptiedunless it's
Ashton (05:52):
midnight.
Doesn't change the fact that itstill sucks.
It does.
Yeah, it
Dad (05:57):
does.
And, and, but the next day whenyou wake up, you're like, oh,
wow.
The truck is already clean.
The house is clean.
I can find all my stuff.
Yeah.
And, and we're talking abouthouses, but I would venture to
say the same is true in a car.
You know, that's one place thatpeople come into my space.
I would like it to look nice andI feel better when it looks
nice.
Let's go to physical health.
(06:18):
We don't have to look far backto where we were dealing with
Covid Not far.
What, what was the rules onCovid?
You're washing your hands too.
Like the alphabet song or happybirthday.
Yep.
Twice or something.
Yep.
So there's a physical health aswell.
You know, I don't know that anyof us have been in A home or
(06:38):
houses that are physically gonnamake us sick.
However, if you think about it,if we just cut chicken up for
dinner and mom didn't take timeto clean it off, to sanitize it,
would we get sick?
Yeah, yeah.
There, there's chances get veryhigh at that point.
Yeah.
You watch some of these hoardershows where people are stepping
over pizza boxes and they're,you know, they're getting around
(07:01):
stuff.
There's, there's gotta be aphysical, not just a mental, but
a physical sickness that canhappen
Ashton (07:06):
oh, yeah.
Well, I, I remember.
One of my first places I livedin, in college my room was
getting a little dirty.
It had been a busy week, and I,I was like, oh, I'll deal with
it later.
But I was like, I'll do mylaundry now.
And so I took my laundry down,down to the laundry room and one
of the doors was open.
And I looked in like one of theperson's rooms, doors was open,
(07:26):
looked in floor to ceilingnewspapers and, and just, you
know, a television sitting ontop of all that empty wrappers,
everything.
And it was super gross.
And so I was like, you knowwhat?
I can commit to cleaning my roomright now.
Dad (07:42):
I'll go get that done.
you start getting worried aboutphysical health issues, right?
Yeah.
Because if you've got that muchstuff in there, it, it can lead
to that.
So just, we're not trying toshame anybody.
That's, that's not our intent asa podcast.
No.
It's just to bring up that, thatwe should keep our places clean.
So now let's talk about whatitems, and that's kind of the
toothbrush, right?
(08:03):
There is a real.
Physical health element to nothaving a clean toothbrush.
It's not necessarily the top ofit, but if your handle has got
dirt, if it fell on the floor,if your hands weren't washed
last time you touched it, youknow, you could be putting
bacterias into your body.
Toothbrush is one thing.
Hair combs, they talked aboutthat they can build up germs.
(08:25):
Not that I deal with that.
Yeah, it's been a long timesince I've used a brush, but
cleaning out the old hair and,and the old stuff out of there.
Clothes.
You mentioned clothes.
Anything else that seems randomthat people might not think
about?
Cleaning?
Oh, something random.
Here's one for you, just to getyour mind's thinking.
(08:45):
Dryer vents.
So one thing is you empty thelint right when you're doing
laundry.
And we had that on our laundryepisode.
Yep.
But what about the dryer ventshoot?
Gotta keep those clean.
Yeah, they say about once a yearyou should be cleaning those
out.
Really good.
Because of the fire hazard.
What other things that you mightnot think of?
Ashton (09:04):
One that is always like a question that they asked us in
high school a bunch of times waslike, what do you think is
dirtier your phone or yourtoilet seat?
And it was always, of courseit's the toilet seat.
And they're no, it's the phone.
Cuz you touch it and you neverwash
Dad (09:19):
it and you're Ew, that's gross.
Yeah.
Good one.
I like that.
Yeah.
I've, I not wipe, I, I wipe itdown every now and again with my
sleep, but I imagine that's notclean either.
No, no.
Ashton (09:29):
I like that.
That's a good one.
I think what we can do is we canjust dunk it in some soap, water
and call goods.
Yeah.
I don't think that's what you'resupposed to do.
Oh, no.
And then some rice
Dad (09:37):
Oh, rice and then some rice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good.
That's a good point.
That's why, a dishwasher.
There's traps inside dishwashersthat catch food that you need to
open up and, and, and clean out.
So if you're new to anapartment, it's a good thing to
think about.
Has my dishwasher been cleaned?
And a good way to do just adishwasher cleaning.
If you're gonna move into anapartment the first time, you're
gonna use the dishwasher.
(09:58):
Use some vinegar.
In it cuz your normaldishwasher, laundry detergent
won't, doesn't break down the,the soap suds and some of that
grime.
So they recommend vinegar.
But look at your, type, yourbrand and do some research and
they'll have suggested cuz thevinegar might not be good for
some, some appliances.
That's just what I've
Ashton (10:14):
used.
Yeah.
Well, and speaking ofappliances, like generally all
the appliances are good to keepup on microwaves, ovens fridges,
if you're glad you brought upfridge.
Yeah, go ahead.
Tip.
If your fridge smells bad, firstclean it.
But then a lot of fridges willhave a, a scent that won't leave
if you're, if you're having thatsort of problem.
(10:36):
And something that works reallywell is just an open box of
baking soda.
I don't know why that works, butit worked.
Our fridge at my most recentapartment smelled really bad and
I had heard that tip and I waslike, I'll try it.
Put it in there, and it worked.
So there you go, you have thatproblem.
I hope that helps.
Dad (10:55):
That's a great pro tip.
Thank you.
Yeah, and a car is another onethat, that I mentioned before,
but.
You can always use an airfreshener, right?
If you've got a smell that'slingering even after you've
cleaned it out.
Yep.
But I'd make sure I take outsweaty gym socks.
Any clothes from a gym trip.
You know, those kind of thingsneed to come out food wrappers.
(11:16):
So it's, yeah, it's a good ideato actually even wash your gym
bags every once in a while.
You know, these aren't all thetime that you have to do these
things, but you just look at andyou start to feel that thing's
funky.
You know, that might have been alittle while.
Let's, let's run it through awash.
It's probably not a bad thing.
It's actually, maybe you shouldwash your backpack.
That's a thing.
That's an interesting concept.
I know Gideon had to,
Ashton (11:36):
you had to wash your backpack?
Gideon (11:37):
Yeah.
I had a protein shake incidentand I had to pay for a new
Chromebook.
And threw away a lot of mypapers.
Oh yeah.
No, it was
Ashton (11:45):
really bad.
So how did you wash it?
Did you just hand wash it
Gideon (11:48):
or what?
I so I took everything outbefore.
Right.
And then I just, I took the hoseand literally just like sprayed
it off.
Ashton (11:55):
Oh, there you go.
Dad (11:55):
Yeah.
And some, some of those itemscan be dry.
Ran through a washer.
So to answer your question, Ithink it's probably a good idea.
Yeah.
Thank backpacks.
Cool.
Are we good?
Any other random thoughts ofwhat to clean?
What to clean.
I mean, yeah.
That, that might need to be
Ashton (12:10):
cleaned.
You could, I can clean anything.
Yeah, if you really
Gideon (12:13):
wanted to.
And, and I know vacuuming islike a really like stereotypical
cleaning, but I normally, when Iclean my room, I don't vacuum my
carpet, but I just know it'slike, it's important to remember
to,
Ashton (12:27):
to vacuum type, you know?
And that's funny cuz.
Not that I'm thinking about it.
I think vacuuming is the onlycleaning task that I really
don't hate.
I think vacuuming is like supertherapeutic cuz you just get to
see all the things go away andthe sound of like as it's like
sucking up all the crap.
I like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm gonna have to go
Dad (12:44):
vacuum.
That's a great reminder.
Thank you.
Ashton (12:48):
I'm just over here like, oh, I want to go back.
I can
Dad (12:50):
see the joy.
You would, you would be sad ifyou got, if you, if we got a
Mari, not a marimba.
That's what you put.
Aruba Arba.
Yeah.
Ar Oh yeah.
No, it takes away all the
Ashton (12:59):
Vacuum cleaner.
I wanna, I wanna be like, Mrs.
Do fire, just like man, blackwoman.
You know what I mean?
I like it.
Dad (13:06):
You know what I'm talking about?
Was that Gideon's Gotta, wegotta show Gideon that clip with
Ashton (13:10):
Robin Williams.
Okay.
Have you seen his phi?
Gideon (13:13):
I think so.
Ashton (13:14):
You would know.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's
Dad (13:16):
an old Robin Williams.
He dresses up as an old lady.
Yep.
So he can see his kids.
Yep.
Ashton (13:21):
He, his wife Kick is, his wife kicks him out.
I remember.
Feels a wanted ad.
Gideon (13:25):
I think I remember seeing the movie, but it was a
long time ago,
Dad (13:28):
So here's a pro tip that you talked about, and this is
kind of the cleaning schedulegoing on to number three.
Everything that's, it's morehelpful if we can get in
cadences of stuff, right?
A good friend of mine, Susan,she had Monday as her cl big
cleanup day.
Like that was the day that shejust knew she wasn't gonna book
other appointments, and shespent Monday all day doing.
All of her cleaning and then onand clothes.
(13:49):
And then on Friday she'd doanother batch of clothes getting
ready for the weekend.
And she did that all while herkids were little, cuz she's
like, look, Monday's just theday that I know no matter what,
I've gotta get all that done andthen I have all this extra time
in my life to do other stuff.
Do you guys, have you thoughtmuch of weekly schedules or do
you have anything you put on acadence and it could be no.
(14:10):
Well,
Ashton (14:11):
cadence wise, yeah.
I am doing my best to get betterat just taking care of something
when it needs to be taken careof.
So you brought up our practicedreams earlier.
We have this saying called cleanand green, and then there's also
20 different rules of percussionthat is like posted everywhere.
And, and one of them is, is likeif you break something, tell
someone about it.
(14:31):
If you drop it, pick it up.
And so I've been, trying toapply the, if you drop it, pick
it up sort of thing.
So like if I.
Had like a glass of water at mydesk.
It's gone.
Take it up, put it in thedishes, fill it up again.
Do something like that.
If I do my laundry, just fold itcuz a common habit that I have
is, is I'll do my laundry.
(14:52):
And I'm like, I don't reallywanna do it.
I'll leave in the baskets andall a sudden my clothes will be
dirty.
I was well, I can't put thedirty clothes on the floor, so I
dump the clean clothes on thefloor to put the dirty clothes
in the basket.
I still don't want to do mylaundry.
So, I've been trying to amendthat by taking care of something
when it needs to be taken care
Dad (15:09):
of.
I love it.
Cuz you've almost made your jobharder by not doing it.
Oh yeah, totally.
I remember when I was incollege, I would wash my whites
first so they could dry first,and then as I stood there by the
washer to come pick up my nextbatch of clothes or as I was
waiting for my next batch ofclothes, I could hurry and fold
my.
Take care of those real quick.
(15:30):
And then when I got back to theapartment, it's like, oh, I only
have a little bit more to do tobe done.
Right.
So it's almost like motivationto be like, oh, I wanna be a
hundred percent done with thisproject.
I'm 50% in.
Ashton (15:39):
Oh, that'd be great.
My, my brain is like, There'sstill so much.
I'll do it later.
That's where mine likes to go.
Dad (15:46):
That's fair.
Well, and that's why I think ifwe get into cadence and we know
what clean means to us, it'sgonna make a big difference.
Cuz if you go, Hey, done withlaundry isn't washed and done is
folding.
Gideon (16:01):
Go ahead.
I'm pretty sure we've said thisbefore, but it's it's kind of
important to remember too, theexample that you used Dad.
She, like Mondays were her hugecleaning days.
But then I also think it's, it'sfun to remember if it takes less
than a minute to do the rule, todo it right now, if you thought
of something and it takes lessthan a minute, just do it.
Dad (16:22):
I love it.
You know, cuz that's what I putdown at my, my, my last point on
here is a good rule.
Once clean, don't leave a room,an area until you put it back
how you found it.
Mm.
Right, exactly.
Because if you, exactly, if youhave that minute mentality and
you're like, oh, I'm gonna leavethis room.
Oh, I've still got my cup thatneeds to go with me, I've still
got the tape that I brought uplast night to do a project.
(16:44):
And you take those with you,chances are that you are, your
room stays clean.
Yeah.
That's weird
Gideon (16:50):
cuz like, you feel even better when you do it, even
though it takes you no timewhatsoever.
After you've put them, let's sayyou've, you've put your dishes
back after you're Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
The military talking like cleannot clean, but, but make your
bed every morning, ever.
Just, just the fact that you'vedone something.
Makes, makes you want to domore.
Dad (17:10):
I love it.
Oh good.
Good reminders.
Yeah.
So big fan of a cleaningschedule, a laundry schedule.
This is the day I just do it.
And I like that, that we couldblock it out and then have the
cadence to do the deep stuff.
Like, oh, blinds still need tobe done, baseboards need to be
done.
You know, maybe that's every sixmonths or whatever that cadence
(17:32):
is
Ashton (17:33):
also, oh, go ahead.
Oh, sorry.
I was gonna say also if you, youbringing up blinds and
baseboards made me think ofthis.
When you move out of anapartment, like if you're
renting, you're gonna have todeep clean everything anyway.
I just had to do that.
All four of us were moving outof a place at the same time, so
they wanted it super clean.
So if you're doing those sortsof things as it goes, it'll,
it'll be.
Easier to get that final cleanand keep it clean.
(17:55):
That was not our case.
Did you get
Dad (17:57):
your cleaning deposit back?
Ashton (17:59):
In theory it's been sent, but Okay.
Good.
Maybe it reminds me I need totext them again and ask.
Good.
Yeah.
Stay on your landlords, ladiesand gentlemen.
Dad (18:07):
One, and leave it clean if you want that money back.
Right.
I mean, that's, if you don'tcare, you don't care.
Right.
It's kind of twofold.
I liked your point of saying,Hey, if you're, and it would be
a good reminder.
Before you let a roommate moveout, you know, they're like,
Hey, I'm moving out at the endof the month.
Say, cool, we're all gonnaspend.
Tuesday before you leave, doinga deep clean right or whatever
(18:29):
that that schedule looks
Ashton (18:30):
like.
Another pro tip with that one isdon't let your landlord's
contract contractor who'schecking to see if you're
cleaning everything up.
Don't let him catch you.
Putting a couch out on the frontlawn cuz then you'll have to
figure out how to take care ofit.
We had this massive sectional,it was huge, it was, that's
awesome.
Eight foot this way, two footlike sections on either side,
(18:52):
like massive.
And so it wouldn't fit down thestairs.
We were twisting it, breakingit, busting it.
We're oh yeah, we've almost gotout salon.
It was the last piece we neededto move.
And the contractor's Hey guys,how's it going?
Hey, who are you?
And he is like, oh, I'm just theguy checking on people moving
out.
Are you guys moving out?
We're like, Yeah.
Cause we didn't have any way toput it.
That's awesome.
So we just said it on the lawnand had he not seen it, we
(19:14):
would've gotten away with it.
But the next day we got a textfrom our landlady and was like,
if that stays, you have to payfor it.
And we're like, okay, we'll takecare of it.
We arranged someone to take careof it and then the next morning
when they went to go take careof it, someone had else had
already taken it.
Said free.
Yeah.
There's an amount of free stuffthat you can get in Salt Lake on
the side
Dad (19:29):
of the road is crazy, so just drive by there at the end
of the end of the month,especially end of semester of
school year.
No, really?
Ashton (19:35):
Yeah.
Those medians are all full ofcrap in the college area that
are just free.
Oh yeah.
Dad (19:39):
It's a good idea.
Oh yeah.
There you go.
Another business idea
Ashton (19:42):
we'll talk about.
Are you about that Terry fanscan go's hunt those down and
sell it.
I love it.
Dad (19:47):
The last thing I wanna talk about, number four is unwilling
partner, right?
So you're in an apartment andyou do have that person that
doesn't want to clean, could bea, you know, or you're married
and your partner doesn't want toclean.
What are, what are some tricksor tips that you guys can think
of that might help the listener?
(20:09):
Is there anything that comes tomind?
Gideon (20:10):
I think part of it is what you said earlier.
When you said if you're movingout, you just tell'em, you're
like, Hey Tuesday, we're deepcleaning.
And let'em know beforehand.
Cuz I know like even if I don'thave plans, if somebody comes up
and is like, do this, I don'twant to.
But if I knew beforehand it's Iknow this is happening.
It's fine.
It's, yeah.
Dad (20:32):
Good.
I like that.
Ashton (20:33):
I think for me, I.
One of the things I think isgood advice is don't have a
hypothetical argument withyourself.
And what I mean by that is like,say you get home and there's a
bunch of dirty dishes in thesink.
And it's obviously yourroommates about what, whoever
that, that's who left that stuffin there.
(20:53):
And then all of a sudden what Itend to do is I start talking to
myself and I imagine thisconversation where I'm like,
Hey, Rumi, the dishes aren'tdone.
And the roomie's like, well, youdidn't do yours.
And then I start having likethis full fledged argument in my
own head for five minutes.
Where I'm getting nowhere andit's not healthy or helpful, and
(21:14):
then I go up to the roommate andI'm like, or, so then you have
two options.
Instead of doing that, you caneither just take care of it
yourself.
If it's like a one, one off,like sometimes it's good to just
do that stuff for other peopleor if it's like something that
really bothers you.
Like say something.
Don't just have that argumentinside yourself.
Just be real with people.
Don't be mean, but like, if it'ssomething that bothers you, like
(21:36):
tell'em.
And people, most people arepretty chill.
They'll be like, oh yeah, mybad.
And they'll fix it.
Dad (21:43):
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
I think you, you hit on two,both of you guys hit on powerful
things.
One is tell people in advance,so they're not surprised by it,
what the expectations are.
And then the other one is, whenyou're holding somebody
accountable, don't go throughtheir argument before you have
the argument.
No.
Like you said, you walked himand said, Hey dude, do you mind
getting your dishes?
Oh yeah, totally mine.
(22:03):
Yeah.
It's probably not even gonna bean I spaced it or I got involved
on a text or, yeah.
I didn't even think about it.
I dropped it and walked away.
Used to my mom taking care ofhim, whatever.
I think then if you have like anunwilling that somebody that's
not willing to work with yousometimes share this episode.
Talk about the mental healthadvantages.
Explain that.
(22:23):
The, the different definitionsof clean.
I think Doc we had him onearlier, he talked about it
earlier and he talked about thatclean and green Yep.
And what that meant.
And he shows you guys early onwhat does that mean?
So if you're just starting a, aroommate, you're going into a
new apartment, it's a time tostart fresh.
Hey everybody, we're gonna allclean our own dishes.
(22:44):
Cool.
Ashton, you good?
Yeah.
Getting you good?
I'm good.
Right.
So you get that commitment from'em so that everybody knows.
Hey, how's a good way to callyou out, Ashton, if I just tell
you, Hey, you didn't do yourdishes.
Yep.
You're good with that?
Yeah, right.
If I need Gideon, do I need totell you a different way?
So you're having thesedialogues, you're having this
conversation so that you havethe conversation before it's a
(23:06):
problem, right?
If it's a spouse or asignificant other, I would
really encourage you to spendtime with them at their place.
At the place they were broughtup at, and just make sure that
you guys agree on what's clean,and that you're gonna be in sync
with that.
Ashton (23:24):
The other thing to avoid like you, when you want to get
in sync with someone, or if youfind yourself noticing a lot
that something is dirty or grossand it bothers you before you
have the conversation withsomeone because.
A saying that a mentor used tosay a lot was it takes a very,
it takes an awfully thin pancaketo make a one-sided pancake.
(23:47):
Yep.
And the point is, there's not aone-sided pancake.
Like everything has two sides.
So if, if your roommate's doingsomething that's bothering you,
chances are you might havesomething that's bothering them.
Don't go in aggressive, be like,Hey, you didn't do this and I'm
amazing.
It's not helpful.
Take it from a place of, Hey,you know what, this is something
that's not working for me.
(24:07):
Okay, cool.
Thanks for doing that.
Is there anything that I can do?
You know, hit it from both sidesso it doesn't always feel you're
trying to change people becausepeople don't want you to do
that.
Dad (24:18):
It's not fun.
Well, you know, you can reallygo back to episode three, how to
get what you want, and thenprobably.
Probably one, two, and threebecause it talks about the art
of relationships, right?
We talked about, I feels, and I,and you know, and how do I feel
with feedback that are of seasonsix.
So, yep.
So some pretty relevant closeconversations we've had about'em
(24:38):
that would help you adult.
Here's, here's the challenge Igive to you, the listener, and
to all of us, is to really thinkabout what clean means to us.
Set up a little bit of aschedule that we're comfortable
with and focus on.
Clean and green, or leaving aplace clean when you leave.
Let's go adult.
What other things that you might not think of?
Ashton (00:01):
One that is always like a question that they asked us in
high school a bunch of times waslike, what do you think is
dirtier your phone or yourtoilet seat?
And it was always, of courseit's the toilet seat.
And they're no, it's the phone.
Cuz you touch it and you neverwash
Dad (00:16):
it and you're Ew, that's gross.
Yeah.
Good one.
I like that.
Yeah.
I've, I not wipe, I, I wipe itdown every now and again with my
sleep, but I imagine that's notclean either.
No, no.
Ashton (00:26):
I like that.
That's a good one.
I think what we can do is we canjust dunk it in some soap, water
and call goods.
Yeah.
I don't think that's what you'resupposed to do.
Oh, no.
And then some rice
Dad (00:34):
I have a personal question.
Gideon, when is the last timeyou cleaned your toothbrush?
Gideon (00:39):
Cleaned my toothbrush, like with the power washer.
Dad (00:44):
Maybe in the dishwasher or just took your time.
I've took a, took a second to,to, to, to rinse it better than
normal.
Gideon (00:51):
I don't think I've ever cleaned my toothbrush.
My toothbrush is the thing doingthe cleaning.
Ashton (00:56):
Interesting
Dad (00:57):
thought, huh?
What about you, Ashton?
Let's ask you a differentquestion.
Okay?
When was the last time youcleaned your beard brush?
My beard brush.
Ashton (01:05):
That's never, I mean,
Dad (01:08):
do you even do a beard brush?
Ashton (01:10):
Some guys do on occasion.
I, I have one.
I've used it.
I generally just use a comb cuzit's the first thing I reach.
Gotcha.
It's
Dad (01:16):
okay.
It does.
Good enough.
When's the last time you cleanedyour comb
Ashton (01:17):
again?
Never.
Never.
Actually, no, that's not true.
I know I've cleaned a comb, butI don't have a date
Dad (01:23):
on hand.
Yeah, but it's been a while.
I can go back.
Same, it
Ashton (01:26):
was it yesterday?
Okay.
No, no, no, no.
It
Dad (01:28):
wasn't yesterday or it wasn't within the last maybe two
months even.
Oh geez.
Now
Ashton (01:32):
I'm gonna have to think about it.
Okay.
Give me a second.
We'll get back to the podcast ina second.
Let me, let me go through my,Daily planner.
See if I've got comb cleaning
Dad (01:41):
in there.
Anywhere you go.
Prob you probably don't.
No.
But today we're gonna focus on,it's a little bit of cleaning,
but which is really closelyrelated to emotional health.
I didn't know if you guys knewthat or not.
Gideon (01:53):
I mean
Dad (01:53):
Yeah, I could see it.
See it, yeah.
Research done at IndianaUniversity in 2000, there is a
direct relationship between aclean house and better mental
health.
Cool.
Yeah, I found it prettyinteresting.
Welcome to Adulting Decrypted,where we prepare young adults to
be independent powerhouses forlife.
I'm Roscoe the
Gideon (02:12):
dad.
I'm Gideon, and this is Ashton.
Yeah, it is.
Ashton (02:19):
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah.
You already know
Dad (02:21):
who it is.
So I kinda wanna go through thethe four things of cleaning.
Why is cleaning important?
What items to clean a cleaningschedule, and what if we have an
unwilling roommate, spouse, etcetera, that, that we need to
deal with.
And I'm looking for some, maybesome tips and tricks on that
one.
Mm-hmm.
So really the first one is whyis cleaning important?
Gideon (02:44):
I mean, I just know for myself it's really nice to be in
a clean environment and knowwhere everything is.
Cuz after, after being messy fora while, you start to just get
annoyed all the time.
Cause you're like, where isthis?
Where is that?
And like having to step over
Ashton (02:58):
stuff and whatnot.
Yeah, I have to think about it alot because, I've heard that
before.
You know, keeping clean helpsyou stay mentally healthy.
And I've tried to keep my roomsclean and I think I've noticed a
difference, but then I alwayshave this question what's the
difference between a creativespace and a dirty space?
You know, a lot of times,especially at the U, the
(03:20):
engineering group of us, We havewhat we call our creative spaces
It's this creative little space.
It's what it is.
It doesn't have to be like superclean, but I do know, like I
have a little desk that I workat When it's dirty, I don't work
as well.
Dad (03:36):
It's an interesting concept creativity.
It's kind of a beast of its ownand how you get into that zone
and how do you get there.
But here's a, here's a thought.
What about in your music roomswhere your instruments are
stored?
Is that a clean space or is thata creative space?
It's a very clean space.
Yeah.
And And why do you think thatis?
Ashton (03:56):
Well for us, we want to keep the gear nice.
Really perfect.
You just take care of the gearbecause everything was new once.
Dad (04:03):
Yeah.
And, and you probably feelbetter about it when you go in
there and you're the gear's ingood shape.
Yeah.
I know.
If it's damaged, I know where toput it.
Freeing yourself with thatemotional burden of breaking
stuff that you've paid for orhaving to go in and deal with
stressors of stuff being broken.
Yeah.
So on a creative space, I would.
Challenge you that Yes, acreative space, I think can have
a little bit of, not cluttereven, but just where you're
(04:26):
brain dumping and your buildingand you're designing makes sense
in the rush of it.
But when you're done, right,when that project's done, if
it's one hour or if it's fivedays when it's done, that you
take that time to clean it out.
I'm done with a project, I putit away I'm clean and I get to
move on.
(04:47):
Yeah.
Gideon (04:48):
Yeah.
And I think it's it's reallyimportant to remember, cause I
know I definitely do that in myown, in my own room at least.
I'll spend a day doingsomething, some sort of project,
and then the trash and leftoversis left out until a month later
when I'm oh, this, this has beenannoying me.
And I didn't really
Dad (05:06):
realize it.
Yeah.
That's interesting that it wasannoying you, but you didn't
realize that I liked that.
Yeah.
So there's a mental health and Ithink it's, I think it comes
back to the fresh starts, thecoming in and being able to go,
okay, that's like when we leavefor, for a trip up to the cabin
or we go somewhere.
I love to drive home and thehouse is clean versus.
(05:27):
Coming home with all the crapthat you took with you, and now
you have to figure out how toput it all away.
That's the worst part of a tripright there.
And you've got dirty.
I found it as you guys have gotolder, mom has established the
cadence that as soon as we pullin the driveway, everybody
pitches in and we all puteverything away versus we let it
set for a day or two or linger.
Gideon (05:48):
Yeah, I know for a fact when we pull in the driveway,
the truck is getting emptiedunless it's
Ashton (05:52):
midnight.
Doesn't change the fact that itstill sucks.
It does.
Yeah, it
Dad (05:57):
does.
And, and, but the next day whenyou wake up, you're like, oh,
wow.
The truck is already clean.
The house is clean.
I can find all my stuff.
Yeah.
And, and we're talking abouthouses, but I would venture to
say the same is true in a car.
You know, that's one place thatpeople come into my space.
I would like it to look nice andI feel better when it looks
nice.
Let's go to physical health.
(06:18):
We don't have to look far backto where we were dealing with
Covid Not far.
What, what was the rules onCovid?
You're washing your hands too.
Like the alphabet song or happybirthday.
Yep.
Twice or something.
Yep.
So there's a physical health aswell.
You know, I don't know that anyof us have been in A home or
(06:38):
houses that are physically gonnamake us sick.
However, if you think about it,if we just cut chicken up for
dinner and mom didn't take timeto clean it off, to sanitize it,
would we get sick?
Yeah, yeah.
There, there's chances get veryhigh at that point.
Yeah.
You watch some of these hoardershows where people are stepping
over pizza boxes and they're,you know, they're getting around
(07:01):
stuff.
There's, there's gotta be aphysical, not just a mental, but
a physical sickness that canhappen
Ashton (07:06):
oh, yeah.
Well, I, I remember.
One of my first places I livedin, in college my room was
getting a little dirty.
It had been a busy week, and I,I was like, oh, I'll deal with
it later.
But I was like, I'll do mylaundry now.
And so I took my laundry down,down to the laundry room and one
of the doors was open.
And I looked in like one of theperson's rooms, doors was open,
(07:26):
looked in floor to ceilingnewspapers and, and just, you
know, a television sitting ontop of all that empty wrappers,
everything.
And it was super gross.
And so I was like, you knowwhat?
I can commit to cleaning my roomright now.
Dad (07:42):
I'll go get that done.
you start getting worried aboutphysical health issues, right?
Yeah.
Because if you've got that muchstuff in there, it, it can lead
to that.
So just, we're not trying toshame anybody.
That's, that's not our intent asa podcast.
No.
It's just to bring up that, thatwe should keep our places clean.
So now let's talk about whatitems, and that's kind of the
toothbrush, right?
(08:03):
There is a real.
Physical health element to nothaving a clean toothbrush.
It's not necessarily the top ofit, but if your handle has got
dirt, if it fell on the floor,if your hands weren't washed
last time you touched it, youknow, you could be putting
bacterias into your body.
Toothbrush is one thing.
Hair combs, they talked aboutthat they can build up germs.
(08:25):
Not that I deal with that.
Yeah, it's been a long timesince I've used a brush, but
cleaning out the old hair and,and the old stuff out of there.
Clothes.
You mentioned clothes.
Anything else that seems randomthat people might not think
about?
Cleaning?
Oh, something random.
Here's one for you, just to getyour mind's thinking.
(08:45):
Dryer vents.
So one thing is you empty thelint right when you're doing
laundry.
And we had that on our laundryepisode.
Yep.
But what about the dryer ventshoot?
Gotta keep those clean.
Yeah, they say about once a yearyou should be cleaning those
out.
Really good.
Because of the fire hazard.
What other things that you mightnot think of?
Ashton (09:04):
One that is always like a question that they asked us in
high school a bunch of times waslike, what do you think is
dirtier your phone or yourtoilet seat?
And it was always, of courseit's the toilet seat.
And they're no, it's the phone.
Cuz you touch it and you neverwash
Dad (09:19):
it and you're Ew, that's gross.
Yeah.
Good one.
I like that.
Yeah.
I've, I not wipe, I, I wipe itdown every now and again with my
sleep, but I imagine that's notclean either.
No, no.
Ashton (09:29):
I like that.
That's a good one.
I think what we can do is we canjust dunk it in some soap, water
and call goods.
Yeah.
I don't think that's what you'resupposed to do.
Oh, no.
And then some rice
Dad (09:37):
Oh, rice and then some rice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good.
That's a good point.
That's why, a dishwasher.
There's traps inside dishwashersthat catch food that you need to
open up and, and, and clean out.
So if you're new to anapartment, it's a good thing to
think about.
Has my dishwasher been cleaned?
And a good way to do just adishwasher cleaning.
If you're gonna move into anapartment the first time, you're
gonna use the dishwasher.
(09:58):
Use some vinegar.
In it cuz your normaldishwasher, laundry detergent
won't, doesn't break down the,the soap suds and some of that
grime.
So they recommend vinegar.
But look at your, type, yourbrand and do some research and
they'll have suggested cuz thevinegar might not be good for
some, some appliances.
That's just what I've
Ashton (10:14):
used.
Yeah.
Well, and speaking ofappliances, like generally all
the appliances are good to keepup on microwaves, ovens fridges,
if you're glad you brought upfridge.
Yeah, go ahead.
Tip.
If your fridge smells bad, firstclean it.
But then a lot of fridges willhave a, a scent that won't leave
if you're, if you're having thatsort of problem.
(10:36):
And something that works reallywell is just an open box of
baking soda.
I don't know why that works, butit worked.
Our fridge at my most recentapartment smelled really bad and
I had heard that tip and I waslike, I'll try it.
Put it in there, and it worked.
So there you go, you have thatproblem.
I hope that helps.
Dad (10:55):
That's a great pro tip.
Thank you.
Yeah, and a car is another onethat, that I mentioned before,
but.
You can always use an airfreshener, right?
If you've got a smell that'slingering even after you've
cleaned it out.
Yep.
But I'd make sure I take outsweaty gym socks.
Any clothes from a gym trip.
You know, those kind of thingsneed to come out food wrappers.
(11:16):
So it's, yeah, it's a good ideato actually even wash your gym
bags every once in a while.
You know, these aren't all thetime that you have to do these
things, but you just look at andyou start to feel that thing's
funky.
You know, that might have been alittle while.
Let's, let's run it through awash.
It's probably not a bad thing.
It's actually, maybe you shouldwash your backpack.
That's a thing.
That's an interesting concept.
I know Gideon had to,
Ashton (11:36):
you had to wash your backpack?
Gideon (11:37):
Yeah.
I had a protein shake incidentand I had to pay for a new
Chromebook.
And threw away a lot of mypapers.
Oh yeah.
No, it was
Ashton (11:45):
really bad.
So how did you wash it?
Did you just hand wash it
Gideon (11:48):
or what?
I so I took everything outbefore.
Right.
And then I just, I took the hoseand literally just like sprayed
it off.
Ashton (11:55):
Oh, there you go.
Dad (11:55):
Yeah.
And some, some of those itemscan be dry.
Ran through a washer.
So to answer your question, Ithink it's probably a good idea.
Yeah.
Thank backpacks.
Cool.
Are we good?
Any other random thoughts ofwhat to clean?
What to clean.
I mean, yeah.
That, that might need to be
Ashton (12:10):
cleaned.
You could, I can clean anything.
Yeah, if you really
Gideon (12:13):
wanted to.
And, and I know vacuuming islike a really like stereotypical
cleaning, but I normally, when Iclean my room, I don't vacuum my
carpet, but I just know it'slike, it's important to remember
to,
Ashton (12:27):
to vacuum type, you know?
And that's funny cuz.
Not that I'm thinking about it.
I think vacuuming is the onlycleaning task that I really
don't hate.
I think vacuuming is like supertherapeutic cuz you just get to
see all the things go away andthe sound of like as it's like
sucking up all the crap.
I like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm gonna have to go
Dad (12:44):
vacuum.
That's a great reminder.
Thank you.
Ashton (12:48):
I'm just over here like, oh, I want to go back.
I can
Dad (12:50):
see the joy.
You would, you would be sad ifyou got, if you, if we got a
Mari, not a marimba.
That's what you put.
Aruba Arba.
Yeah.
Ar Oh yeah.
No, it takes away all the
Ashton (12:59):
Vacuum cleaner.
I wanna, I wanna be like, Mrs.
Do fire, just like man, blackwoman.
You know what I mean?
I like it.
Dad (13:06):
You know what I'm talking about?
Was that Gideon's Gotta, wegotta show Gideon that clip with
Ashton (13:10):
Robin Williams.
Okay.
Have you seen his phi?
Gideon (13:13):
I think so.
Ashton (13:14):
You would know.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's
Dad (13:16):
an old Robin Williams.
He dresses up as an old lady.
Yep.
So he can see his kids.
Yep.
Ashton (13:21):
He, his wife Kick is, his wife kicks him out.
I remember.
Feels a wanted ad.
Gideon (13:25):
I think I remember seeing the movie, but it was a
long time ago,
Dad (13:28):
So here's a pro tip that you talked about, and this is
kind of the cleaning schedulegoing on to number three.
Everything that's, it's morehelpful if we can get in
cadences of stuff, right?
A good friend of mine, Susan,she had Monday as her cl big
cleanup day.
Like that was the day that shejust knew she wasn't gonna book
other appointments, and shespent Monday all day doing.
All of her cleaning and then onand clothes.
(13:49):
And then on Friday she'd doanother batch of clothes getting
ready for the weekend.
And she did that all while herkids were little, cuz she's
like, look, Monday's just theday that I know no matter what,
I've gotta get all that done andthen I have all this extra time
in my life to do other stuff.
Do you guys, have you thoughtmuch of weekly schedules or do
you have anything you put on acadence and it could be no.
(14:10):
Well,
Ashton (14:11):
cadence wise, yeah.
I am doing my best to get betterat just taking care of something
when it needs to be taken careof.
So you brought up our practicedreams earlier.
We have this saying called cleanand green, and then there's also
20 different rules of percussionthat is like posted everywhere.
And, and one of them is, is likeif you break something, tell
someone about it.
(14:31):
If you drop it, pick it up.
And so I've been, trying toapply the, if you drop it, pick
it up sort of thing.
So like if I.
Had like a glass of water at mydesk.
It's gone.
Take it up, put it in thedishes, fill it up again.
Do something like that.
If I do my laundry, just fold itcuz a common habit that I have
is, is I'll do my laundry.
(14:52):
And I'm like, I don't reallywanna do it.
I'll leave in the baskets andall a sudden my clothes will be
dirty.
I was well, I can't put thedirty clothes on the floor, so I
dump the clean clothes on thefloor to put the dirty clothes
in the basket.
I still don't want to do mylaundry.
So, I've been trying to amendthat by taking care of something
when it needs to be taken care
Dad (15:09):
of.
I love it.
Cuz you've almost made your jobharder by not doing it.
Oh yeah, totally.
I remember when I was incollege, I would wash my whites
first so they could dry first,and then as I stood there by the
washer to come pick up my nextbatch of clothes or as I was
waiting for my next batch ofclothes, I could hurry and fold
my.
Take care of those real quick.
(15:30):
And then when I got back to theapartment, it's like, oh, I only
have a little bit more to do tobe done.
Right.
So it's almost like motivationto be like, oh, I wanna be a
hundred percent done with thisproject.
I'm 50% in.
Ashton (15:39):
Oh, that'd be great.
My, my brain is like, There'sstill so much.
I'll do it later.
That's where mine likes to go.
Dad (15:46):
That's fair.
Well, and that's why I think ifwe get into cadence and we know
what clean means to us, it'sgonna make a big difference.
Cuz if you go, Hey, done withlaundry isn't washed and done is
folding.
Gideon (16:01):
Go ahead.
I'm pretty sure we've said thisbefore, but it's it's kind of
important to remember too, theexample that you used Dad.
She, like Mondays were her hugecleaning days.
But then I also think it's, it'sfun to remember if it takes less
than a minute to do the rule, todo it right now, if you thought
of something and it takes lessthan a minute, just do it.
Dad (16:22):
I love it.
You know, cuz that's what I putdown at my, my, my last point on
here is a good rule.
Once clean, don't leave a room,an area until you put it back
how you found it.
Mm.
Right, exactly.
Because if you, exactly, if youhave that minute mentality and
you're like, oh, I'm gonna leavethis room.
Oh, I've still got my cup thatneeds to go with me, I've still
got the tape that I brought uplast night to do a project.
(16:44):
And you take those with you,chances are that you are, your
room stays clean.
Yeah.
That's weird
Gideon (16:50):
cuz like, you feel even better when you do it, even
though it takes you no timewhatsoever.
After you've put them, let's sayyou've, you've put your dishes
back after you're Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
The military talking like cleannot clean, but, but make your
bed every morning, ever.
Just, just the fact that you'vedone something.
Makes, makes you want to domore.
Dad (17:10):
I love it.
Oh good.
Good reminders.
Yeah.
So big fan of a cleaningschedule, a laundry schedule.
This is the day I just do it.
And I like that, that we couldblock it out and then have the
cadence to do the deep stuff.
Like, oh, blinds still need tobe done, baseboards need to be
done.
You know, maybe that's every sixmonths or whatever that cadence
(17:32):
is
Ashton (17:33):
also, oh, go ahead.
Oh, sorry.
I was gonna say also if you, youbringing up blinds and
baseboards made me think ofthis.
When you move out of anapartment, like if you're
renting, you're gonna have todeep clean everything anyway.
I just had to do that.
All four of us were moving outof a place at the same time, so
they wanted it super clean.
So if you're doing those sortsof things as it goes, it'll,
it'll be.
Easier to get that final cleanand keep it clean.
(17:55):
That was not our case.
Did you get
Dad (17:57):
your cleaning deposit back?
Ashton (17:59):
In theory it's been sent, but Okay.
Good.
Maybe it reminds me I need totext them again and ask.
Good.
Yeah.
Stay on your landlords, ladiesand gentlemen.
Dad (18:07):
One, and leave it clean if you want that money back.
Right.
I mean, that's, if you don'tcare, you don't care.
Right.
It's kind of twofold.
I liked your point of saying,Hey, if you're, and it would be
a good reminder.
Before you let a roommate moveout, you know, they're like,
Hey, I'm moving out at the endof the month.
Say, cool, we're all gonnaspend.
Tuesday before you leave, doinga deep clean right or whatever
(18:29):
that that schedule looks
Ashton (18:30):
like.
Another pro tip with that one isdon't let your landlord's
contract contractor who'schecking to see if you're
cleaning everything up.
Don't let him catch you.
Putting a couch out on the frontlawn cuz then you'll have to
figure out how to take care ofit.
We had this massive sectional,it was huge, it was, that's
awesome.
Eight foot this way, two footlike sections on either side,
(18:52):
like massive.
And so it wouldn't fit down thestairs.
We were twisting it, breakingit, busting it.
We're oh yeah, we've almost gotout salon.
It was the last piece we neededto move.
And the contractor's Hey guys,how's it going?
Hey, who are you?
And he is like, oh, I'm just theguy checking on people moving
out.
Are you guys moving out?
We're like, Yeah.
Cause we didn't have any way toput it.
That's awesome.
So we just said it on the lawnand had he not seen it, we
(19:14):
would've gotten away with it.
But the next day we got a textfrom our landlady and was like,
if that stays, you have to payfor it.
And we're like, okay, we'll takecare of it.
We arranged someone to take careof it and then the next morning
when they went to go take careof it, someone had else had
already taken it.
Said free.
Yeah.
There's an amount of free stuffthat you can get in Salt Lake on
the side
Dad (19:29):
of the road is crazy, so just drive by there at the end
of the end of the month,especially end of semester of
school year.
No, really?
Ashton (19:35):
Yeah.
Those medians are all full ofcrap in the college area that
are just free.
Oh yeah.
Dad (19:39):
It's a good idea.
Oh yeah.
There you go.
Another business idea
Ashton (19:42):
we'll talk about.
Are you about that Terry fanscan go's hunt those down and
sell it.
I love it.
Dad (19:47):
The last thing I wanna talk about, number four is unwilling
partner, right?
So you're in an apartment andyou do have that person that
doesn't want to clean, could bea, you know, or you're married
and your partner doesn't want toclean.
What are, what are some tricksor tips that you guys can think
of that might help the listener?
(20:09):
Is there anything that comes tomind?
Gideon (20:10):
I think part of it is what you said earlier.
When you said if you're movingout, you just tell'em, you're
like, Hey Tuesday, we're deepcleaning.
And let'em know beforehand.
Cuz I know like even if I don'thave plans, if somebody comes up
and is like, do this, I don'twant to.
But if I knew beforehand it's Iknow this is happening.
It's fine.
It's, yeah.
Dad (20:32):
Good.
I like that.
Ashton (20:33):
I think for me, I.
One of the things I think isgood advice is don't have a
hypothetical argument withyourself.
And what I mean by that is like,say you get home and there's a
bunch of dirty dishes in thesink.
And it's obviously yourroommates about what, whoever
that, that's who left that stuffin there.
(20:53):
And then all of a sudden what Itend to do is I start talking to
myself and I imagine thisconversation where I'm like,
Hey, Rumi, the dishes aren'tdone.
And the roomie's like, well, youdidn't do yours.
And then I start having likethis full fledged argument in my
own head for five minutes.
Where I'm getting nowhere andit's not healthy or helpful, and
(21:14):
then I go up to the roommate andI'm like, or, so then you have
two options.
Instead of doing that, you caneither just take care of it
yourself.
If it's like a one, one off,like sometimes it's good to just
do that stuff for other peopleor if it's like something that
really bothers you.
Like say something.
Don't just have that argumentinside yourself.
Just be real with people.
Don't be mean, but like, if it'ssomething that bothers you, like
(21:36):
tell'em.
And people, most people arepretty chill.
They'll be like, oh yeah, mybad.
And they'll fix it.
Dad (21:43):
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
I think you, you hit on two,both of you guys hit on powerful
things.
One is tell people in advance,so they're not surprised by it,
what the expectations are.
And then the other one is, whenyou're holding somebody
accountable, don't go throughtheir argument before you have
the argument.
No.
Like you said, you walked himand said, Hey dude, do you mind
getting your dishes?
Oh yeah, totally mine.
(22:03):
Yeah.
It's probably not even gonna bean I spaced it or I got involved
on a text or, yeah.
I didn't even think about it.
I dropped it and walked away.
Used to my mom taking care ofhim, whatever.
I think then if you have like anunwilling that somebody that's
not willing to work with yousometimes share this episode.
Talk about the mental healthadvantages.
Explain that.
(22:23):
The, the different definitionsof clean.
I think Doc we had him onearlier, he talked about it
earlier and he talked about thatclean and green Yep.
And what that meant.
And he shows you guys early onwhat does that mean?
So if you're just starting a, aroommate, you're going into a
new apartment, it's a time tostart fresh.
Hey everybody, we're gonna allclean our own dishes.
(22:44):
Cool.
Ashton, you good?
Yeah.
Getting you good?
I'm good.
Right.
So you get that commitment from'em so that everybody knows.
Hey, how's a good way to callyou out, Ashton, if I just tell
you, Hey, you didn't do yourdishes.
Yep.
You're good with that?
Yeah, right.
If I need Gideon, do I need totell you a different way?
So you're having thesedialogues, you're having this
conversation so that you havethe conversation before it's a
(23:06):
problem, right?
If it's a spouse or asignificant other, I would
really encourage you to spendtime with them at their place.
At the place they were broughtup at, and just make sure that
you guys agree on what's clean,and that you're gonna be in sync
with that.
Ashton (23:24):
The other thing to avoid like you, when you want to get
in sync with someone, or if youfind yourself noticing a lot
that something is dirty or grossand it bothers you before you
have the conversation withsomeone because.
A saying that a mentor used tosay a lot was it takes a very,
it takes an awfully thin pancaketo make a one-sided pancake.
(23:47):
Yep.
And the point is, there's not aone-sided pancake.
Like everything has two sides.
So if, if your roommate's doingsomething that's bothering you,
chances are you might havesomething that's bothering them.
Don't go in aggressive, be like,Hey, you didn't do this and I'm
amazing.
It's not helpful.
Take it from a place of, Hey,you know what, this is something
that's not working for me.
(24:07):
Okay, cool.
Thanks for doing that.
Is there anything that I can do?
You know, hit it from both sidesso it doesn't always feel you're
trying to change people becausepeople don't want you to do
that.
Dad (24:18):
It's not fun.
Well, you know, you can reallygo back to episode three, how to
get what you want, and thenprobably.
Probably one, two, and threebecause it talks about the art
of relationships, right?
We talked about, I feels, and I,and you know, and how do I feel
with feedback that are of seasonsix.
So, yep.
So some pretty relevant closeconversations we've had about'em
(24:38):
that would help you adult.
Here's, here's the challenge Igive to you, the listener, and
to all of us, is to really thinkabout what clean means to us.
Set up a little bit of aschedule that we're comfortable
with and focus on.
Clean and green, or leaving aplace clean when you leave.
Let's go adult.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.