Exploring the Depth of Friendships, American Culture, and Impactful TV Shows

What does it truly mean to have a best friend? Someone who sticks by your side through thick and thin, who understands you better than anyone else, and who you can always rely on. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of friendship and the significance these relationships hold in our lives. We discuss the concept of a 'best best friend', and how this bond can be both complex and rewarding. We share our own stories of friendship, shedding light on the importance of trust, reliability, and the absence of judgment in these special connections.

Ever contemplated the differences between a 'melting pot' and a 'salad' while reflecting on American culture? Or pondered about the phenomenon of 'quiet quitting' in your work life? Well, you're in for a treat! We navigate these multifaceted topics, offering a unique lens into the American experience. We also express our love for the show 'Smart List', and the brilliant Sean Hayes. This episode is a testament to the richness and diversity that America encompasses, and the beauty of embracing it all. 

Here's a little nostalgia trip for you! We're talking about the classic TV shows that have left an indelible mark on our culture and brought us closer to our friends and family. From the timeless humor of 'I Love Lucy' to the relatable struggles in 'Good Times', these shows have shaped our perception of friendship and family. We also offer our gratitude to the legendary Norman Lear, the man behind many of these iconic shows. As we conclude, we share the joy and heartache that comes with friendships, underlining the fact that the real treasure in life is the connections we make and maintain. So grab your best friend, and join us on this incredibly fun journey!

Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. You can also support us by shopping at our STORE - We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.

Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth


DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.

Episode Transcript

Carmen (00:00):
We're live everyone.

Rick (00:02):
Hey, what's up hey?

Carmen (00:03):
hi Cynthia, hi Rick.

Rick (00:05):
Hello, hello, hello.

Carmen (00:07):
Welcome everyone to All About the Joy.
I'm so glad that you're hereand we're going to get back to
our conversation we were havingearlier.
We, Cynthia, what were we justtalking about?
Oh, we were talking about workand we had a communication.
No, no, no, we were actuallytalking about About home.
Yeah, we were talking about home, right about when you go
somewhere and you realize it'shome, like I knew when I visited

(00:29):
California.
I always knew I would move hereand it would happen like 10 or
it would happen like 10 yearslater.
But I knew I would move hereand I did like I think I don't
know when it was.
It was like 10 years later,because I was just a kid when I
came to visit here and I'msaying to Cynthia I'm, I think
it's going to happen again, likeI, I'm feeling a move to

(00:51):
another country now, like I'm Iknow which country, though, I
don't know.
So where would you move, cynthia?
You're not sure yet.

Tyler Perry (01:01):
You just have to be , like it was home.

Carmen (01:04):
You're not sure yet.

Cynthia Ruiz (01:04):
Well you know I love California, cause you know
you could come take my place.

Carmen (01:10):
I'm thinking.
I think Spain is what I'mthinking about.
Here's my problem with Spain.
I can't do as much fish.
You know, they're big seafoodpeople I'm so I'm complete, like
I'm not kidding allergic.
You know what I mean?
Ooh, switzerland.
I've never been to Switzerland,though, ooh.

Cynthia Ruiz (01:32):
We should put that on our bucket list.

Carmen (01:33):
Yeah, that's how it'll be on the list, rick, where
would you move to?

Rick (01:39):
So Portugal, cause that's where I'm from.
Obviously I have a lot offamily there.

Carmen (01:43):
Also we we have family back.

Rick (01:47):
Wait, wait, I'll say.
I'll say it in Portuguese.
We have a lot of family inPortugal.
That's how you say it inPortuguese.

Cynthia Ruiz (01:55):
I feel that, whatever you say it, I feel it
family, I feel it Cause there'sa lot of family in Portugal.

Rick (02:02):
I also have family in Bermuda.
I have family in Canada.

Carmen (02:07):
I'm moving in no tropical air.
No, goddamn.
Oh, I didn't say goddamn.

Rick (02:12):
I did not need, did not need to use the word name, I
know, but here's the thing.

Carmen (02:15):
Here's the thing.
I'm not going to move with this.
I'm too addicted to us.
Tony, the worst food though no,I don't know if it's the worst
food we look at it, it's funny.
It was so funny because today Iwas just talking to someone

(02:35):
about how, if we really embracedwhat it meant to be American
like, if we really embraced itnot white America, but America
America it would be.
Food from all over the countrywould be.
Do you know what I mean?
Like America, like to beAmerican means to be eclectic

(02:59):
and to have all these immigrantfoods and beauty the melting pot
.

Rick (03:04):
Like New York City got all the sections Chinese section,
italian section, all thedifferent sections.

Carmen (03:08):
That's right.
So when I think of Americanfood, that's what I hope to
think of.
You know what I mean.
I think of American food, Ithink of American food, I think
of American food, I think ofAmerican food.
And I would disagree with themelting pot.
I would say, because it kind ofmelts everything, I would say
like a salad Cause, like atomato going to stay a tomato.

(03:32):
You know what?

Rick (03:33):
I mean Onion goes there, onion, you know.
So I would say more like asalad.

Cynthia Ruiz (03:36):
America is not a melting pot.
It is a salad With some kind ofAmerican dressing all over it.

Carmen (03:41):
It can come as much as it can, and it can make it soft
and there is a layer inside thedressing.
That's how we ruin it.
Chris scales in the building.
Chris Gales is in the house.
How you doing it?
I caught Chris a couple timesthis week.
It was such a blessing too,because I was in such a disarray
.
At work and I was like I toldsomeone I'm on the phone, I'm

(04:02):
very busy, and I put my hands.
He said it's hot salad.
Hey, charlie, charlie's back.
Oolah, you're a good guy,charlie.
You didn't make one mention ofone video with you that I
splattered on every social media.
He never likes anything.

(04:22):
So, yeah, no, chris, I think Isaid hi to you a couple times,
but then I had to go into ameeting or something.
But I did listen to your music.
But yeah, that's been my thingthis week, trying to avoid
fighting with people.
I've just been like oh, I'm sosorry there's an emergency.
Hold on, wait, hold on a second, I'll be right back.
Hold on, and I'm like on TikTok.

Cynthia Ruiz (04:45):
It sounds like me at work.
I'm doing the bare minimum.

Carmen (04:49):
Yeah, it's so weird when you're just over it, yeah.

Rick (04:52):
I think there's a term for that.
They started talking about thatwith COVID quiet quitting,
where you still do your work,but you literally do the bare
minimum.
You don't do nothing extra.

Carmen (05:05):
Wait, Charlie just said I was waiting for the fallout.
I didn't post anything bad.
You didn't say anything bad.
He's so cute.
I love that he thinks we havemillions of followers.
I'm pretty sure James Cameronis not listening to our podcast
at the moment.

Cynthia Ruiz (05:21):
We're getting there, we're getting there,
we're getting there, we'regetting there.

Rick (05:26):
I'll catch the replay in 10 years.

Cynthia Ruiz (05:29):
Oh, speaking of, which Cameron I finally saw.
Well, I saw two episodes ofSmart List hilarious.

Rick (05:35):
Oh yeah.

Carmen (05:36):
Love it I told you OK, good, good, oh, good.
See, I got everybody watchingSmart List.
I totally.

Cynthia Ruiz (05:42):
Well, I love Sean Hayes, Like even before that.

Carmen (05:45):
And he's the most normal person on that podcast.

Cynthia Ruiz (05:48):
Will's laugh cracks me up, OK.

Carmen (05:52):
Will Arnett.
I mean props to Will Arnett andif he's listening, we love you.
But he's a little bit moregruff than I thought he would be
, I don't know.
But this biggest surprise Jasonis very high maintenance.
But I love him, we love him.
But I used to be like before Ilistened and watched Smart List

(06:14):
I was like, oh, I love Jason,jason Bateman, he wasn't married
.
If I knew.
Now I'm like dodge the bulletthere.
I mean, you know, in my dream Iwas like damn, he is so high
maintenance.

Cynthia Ruiz (06:29):
Chris.

Carmen (06:29):
Gale says oh wait, charlie said I always say
something that makes someoneangry.
Well, you didn't say anythingthat would make me angry, so but
I can take it down.
You know we'll talk later.
If you want me to takesomething down, I will.
I don't want to get in troublefor nothing.
Chris Gale says I do have aquestion.
Which platform do you prefer tobe watched on?
So YouTube, facebook, linkedin,any and all which, yeah, it

(06:52):
doesn't.
You know I don't have apreference.
I'll be honest.
I've been telling Rick this fora while.
I am so glad to have theaudience that we're building.
It's amazing.
Again, gotta give a shout outto LinkedIn.
We're really good.
I know it's weird.
I just don't expect people tosay yes when I ask them to join
Like on Facebook.
It's like pulling teeth.

(07:12):
You know what I mean.
Like all my friends, I wentinto all of my pages on Facebook
and I deleted them because I'mlike all these people.
I've been on their pages andthey've never posted a thing.
You know what I mean.
They want me to support them.
I asked them two or three timesto support me on Facebook.
They can't even do that.
So I'm like delete, delete,delete, delete, delete.
You know Charlie just said well, you're normal, I'm fine with

(07:35):
all of it.
Love to you.
Oh, you're so cool, charlie.
Thank you so much.
But yeah, so LinkedIn, theseare people I don't know.
You know I'm just sending outemails or whatever, sending out.
You know, please support my newprojects, my new podcast, and
people are adding on Like everyday.
I'm getting more and morepeople, which was so cool.
And then I always send them anemail.

(07:56):
It's just mind boggling, right,your friends.
Your friends really show youwho they are.

Rick (08:04):
Trust me as somebody who has broadcasted for next month,
eight years, every single day.
Yeah, where are you at, fam?

Carmen (08:11):
Oh really.

Rick (08:12):
Oh yeah.

Carmen (08:14):
Really, Chris says I do not like streaming on Facebook.
Oh, I totally get that.

Rick (08:20):
Me personally.
I like YouTube because it'suniversal and you don't even
need an account.
Like Facebook, you gotta havean account.
Twitch, you gotta have anaccount.
Like everything.
You have to have an account.
But YouTube you don't even needan account.
You can look up whatever andnot be signed in and watch
anybody.

Carmen (08:33):
Right, that's true, friends are not fans.
You know what I look at itagain.
I keep telling Rick this thinglike I'm really trying to build
a brand, and it's not just thelive stream and not just the
podcast and not just the blog.
I'm working on a book as well,like I'm trying to build a brand
and so it doesn't cost meanything to stream everywhere.

(08:55):
So I mean, I think I can streamup to 10 places.
I just don't have 10 places tostream to.
But yeah, no, I appreciatewherever you wanna find us.
But yeah, we're on LinkedIn,youtube, twitch and Facebook and
we're gonna soon be.
Also, I'm gonna be broadcastingsoon on my own website, but
that's.
We'll have that informationnext week as well.

(09:17):
And also, I have a new logowhich I'm gonna show next week
and yeah, things are gettingkind of exciting over here,
woohoo.
But yeah, I wanna show a quickvideo, if you can imagine, like
Rick's, like let's see how shedoes this, and then I wanna talk

(09:38):
about it on the other side.
So let's see if I can hook thisup.
Bear with me, I think I got it.
How about that?

Rick (09:44):
Yeah, you can still see the video, so that's good.

Carmen (09:46):
Okay and look at it.
It's really about listening.
It's really short.
Most of you have heard itbefore.

Tyler Perry (09:52):
And if I can leave you with anything, I wanna leave
you with this.
Hear me clearly when I say this.
There are people who come inyour life, sometimes to be there
for a season.
They weren't meant to be therealways.
Sometimes we find ourselveshooked up with people that we
think are there for a lifetime,but they were only supposed to
be there for a season.
There are people who come inyour life like boosters for a

(10:13):
rocket.
If you ever watch a rocket gointo space, the boosters fall
off when it reaches a certainaltitude.
Some people are not equipped tohandle the altitudes that
you're going to, so don't beafraid when they fall off.
They're not bad people.
They just couldn't go whereyou're going.

Cynthia Ruiz (10:29):
Oh, oh, oh okay.

Rick (10:34):
All right, preach Medea Go ahead.

Carmen (10:39):
Isn't that so good?
That's Tyler Perry.

Rick (10:42):
Yeah, that's good.
He broke a lot of wisdom, asMedea too, to be honest with you
.

Carmen (10:47):
Have you guys seen that before?
Have you ever heard that before?

Rick (10:50):
Yeah, I've seen him say that.

Carmen (10:51):
Oh, I haven't, I haven't .
Don't you love that analogy,like it?
Yes, so one of the topics wewere going to talk about today
was friendships, and it was partof it.
It was because I saw that clipagain today on TikTok and I was
like you know what?
I want to have thisconversation like a deep on
conversation.
It don't matter if it's onlineor in real life.

(11:13):
Y'all know how I feel aboutonline friendship, so whatever.
But it's not about friendshipsbecause, rick, I think you and I
have gotten really well atknowing each other or whatever,
and I don't think you'd be anydifferent in person, but we have
a met in person and I thinkthere's a different dynamic that
happens when you do get to meetsomeone in person.
I'm just saying that's me.
What is each one of you?

(11:35):
What is your definition offriendship and a best friend?
Just curious.

Rick (11:43):
Cynthia, you go, since you're not usually here.

Cynthia Ruiz (11:46):
I think a friend is someone who's there at your
lowest point, and sometimes yourfriend can be there more than
your own family.
So if they're there for yourlowest point, that is your
friend, that is your family.

Carmen (12:03):
OK, do you have a best friend?
Well, the other reason why Ibrought up this topic was
Cynthia, I'm not trying to outyou on your age, but you're at
least 30.
Let's just go there.
Ok, I've known you for at least30 years, right, because you're
my cousin for real, my cousin.
Listen, I say my real age, wait, wait, wait.
But I'm cracking up because theother day we're talking and

(12:25):
she's like oh, can I call youback my best friend's on the
floor.
I was like wait what I've never, ever, in all of our
conversations.
Right, I was wait what you wereshocked.
Yes, not that you had a bestfriend, but I've never heard you
talk about this 10 friend ofmine.

Cynthia Ruiz (12:50):
No, yeah, I actually met her About 25 years
ago.
Actually, when I met.
Juan was when I met her.
Juan is her husband.
Yes, yeah, 25 years now.
We've been really good friendsand she's been there for my
lowest times and stuff had a lowtime because I don't remember

(13:13):
her name again.

Carmen (13:16):
I've never heard of this person.
Hey, chris Gales just said as Iget older, friendship seems to
be too dynamic.
I know the type of friend thatI strive to be and haven't found
it in others Trust issues oh,that's deep.
Wow, almost as yes, at yourlowest or most challenging times

(13:38):
, people who are truly for youwill show themselves and you
have to pay attention.
Wow, ooh.
But Chris just threw that outthere.
That's pretty intense.
Yeah, go ahead, cynthia, I'msorry.

Cynthia Ruiz (13:50):
No, no, now she lives in.
She lives in Pennsylvania, sowe don't get to see each other a
lot, but we still stay incontact and she was actually up
here for a family reunion andsurprised me, so it's great I
got to see her and her kids andall and her grandkids now, so it
was awesome.

Carmen (14:06):
Yeah, I was totally freaked out.
I don't.
Usually I hear about I don'tknow.
We talk a lot, it's I know.
Can you name one of my bestfriends?
Make sure if I die.

Cynthia Ruiz (14:32):
All these people tell them I'm okay, give them
your number in case of anything.

Carmen (14:39):
Organized.
I was like I may pass and Idon't.

Cynthia Ruiz (14:43):
Even had a copy of your proxy, your will,
everything.

Carmen (14:47):
Going on my business.
But yeah, you know, I encourageeveryone to do that, absolutely
.

Cynthia Ruiz (14:53):
I did.

Carmen (14:53):
Cynthia was my person who had all my you are you?
Well, what's the proxy part?
Wasn't Andrea the proxy?
You?

Cynthia Ruiz (15:01):
had one with witnesses.

Carmen (15:03):
Yeah, yeah, right, you along with witnesses.
Oh, andrea, was the?
Was my person at the hospital?
Yeah, she had.
What is it when you have,you're in charge of the person.
That Is it per what is it?

Rick (15:16):
power of attorney.

Carmen (15:18):
Like if they put me on breathing tubes, I was like,
just kill me, I don't want to.
I just killed me like I don'tjust, I just let me go not
resuscitate.
What is that person?
That a proxy?
Yeah, okay, well, that's thebest friend.
That's what I'm saying, youknow what I mean?
Like she was there, so she wasthat person.

(15:39):
But okay, so, rick, friendship,best friend.

Rick (15:42):
I mean to me, I think I mean there's friend and then
there's best friend.
Just totally different for me.

Carmen (15:47):
But that's what we're talking about.

Rick (15:48):
Yeah, yeah, it's best friend specifically.

Carmen (15:51):
You know why?

Rick (15:51):
I want to know both right Almost as a call, my best friend
, my sister.
We've been BFS for 35 years andshe's a godmother to my
daughter.

Carmen (15:59):
Yeah, yeah that's the best friend.
That's the best friend.
Yeah, okay, rick, always tryingto weasel out of the no, no, no
, no.

Rick (16:06):
I'm trying to read all the comments to.

Carmen (16:09):
It's my show.
I got you Give your answer.
Go ahead I.

Rick (16:15):
Mean a best friend is somebody that you can talk to
and you know they ain't gonnablab all your business to
everybody in the whole world,which some friends will probably
do.
They're always gonna be therewhen they need you, if you
really possible.
Like I remember I had accidentand my best friend lives like I
don't know 35 minutes away and Icalled him as I just kind of
accident, he was there in 35minutes.

(16:36):
Like you really drove quick.
Yeah, somebody could depend onsomething to talk to, somebody
could trust and that will spreadyour business.
I said that already.
Yeah, that's me.

Carmen (16:45):
That's a friend or friend friend best friend.

Rick (16:48):
Best friend, yeah, hmm, I got general friend, bring a
shovel.

Carmen (17:00):
Yeah, you know, I think for me it's been pretty much the
same my entire life.
I mean, I've grown and I'veseen kind of how my friendships
have changed.
But I have friends that youknow they're on Facebook and I
haven't seen them in years.
But if they called me and saidthey needed you know, whatever,

(17:21):
I would do my best to oblige,like I don't have to see them
every day.
I think the one of the bestthings about real true
friendships is there's no guiltattached to it.
You know, like this thing whereit's like why don't you call me
?
I can't believe it's been likethree weeks, what?
And I'm like you know that'swhen I'm like, hmm, okay, not a
friend because you're making ittoo complicated, you know.

(17:44):
But yeah, I think so.
My, my best friends are just alittle bit of a different thing
for me.
They're in place of what Iwould call family.
You know I and Cynthia knows Ihave issues with the DNA, crap,
shit.
You know what I mean and andeven though she is blood related
to me, it's really, really.
I mean most people have afamily tree.

Cynthia Ruiz (18:05):
What do I always say, cynthia, we have a family
bush Right, it's like with weexactly.

Carmen (18:14):
Like you and I could be related more than me, you know.
But to me, family is about youknow, history, you know it's
about the time we have spenttogether and the longevity of
that time, and it doesn't matterif it's good or bad.
The judgment is the entire time.
How are we together in thosemoments of joy and in the

(18:37):
moments of pain, can we stillconnect?
You know what I mean?
Can we forgive and forget eachother?
Because that, to me, is a bigway.
You left off, you left off.
Yeah, I'm just said yes, nomatter how long it's been,
there's no judgment, thejudgment, just love.
Yeah, exactly, and and here'sthe thing too, when someone

(18:59):
starts complaining about I can'tbelieve you haven't called me
in three weeks.
I'm like I'm sorry, were youcalling me and I didn't get the.
I'm confused.
But you know that's a wholeother issue.
But yeah, I think you know I.
I think there's a differencebetween acquaintances and
friendships and I think peopleget confused.

(19:21):
You know, my friend RichardJohnson maybe rest in peace.
He had he would always say I.
He's like, oh, I can't go toany airport, no matter where I'm
in Japan, and people callingout my name at the airport, and
that was not a lie.
Everywhere he went you thinkhe's famous, he wasn't.
He just had a great personality.
You know what I mean.
He worked at a campus, on thecollege campus, whatever.

(19:43):
When he had difficult times,two of his friends showed up I
was one of them.
You know what I mean and it wasthe biggest breakdown for him
to realize and and and.
I said you don't need to have alot of see, this is the other
thing.
People miss confid.
They're just confused aboutconfusion.
I was gonna say Confusion isyou don't need to have 95

(20:11):
friends, you just need to haveone good one.
I don't even know what this is.
Family, my medium network, whatis that?

Rick (20:22):
I don't know my ceiling is like I Think it actually comes
from like a mushroom kind ofthing, but it's like branches
everywhere kind of branches outall over the place.

Carmen (20:32):
Oh, he's making fun of our books.
I, that's exactly what our 23and me and ancestry man Like you

(20:55):
know, it's like just there.
There's blades everywhere, butthey don't connect.
Just the dirt, oh my god.

Rick (21:05):
You know, this makes me also think of like.
So when a little child isadopted and you know, at some
point they're gonna find outthey were adopted, whatever and
then say, the real father, realmother shows up, I was like,
well, I'm your mother, I'm yourfather and the kid could be like
you.
That may be true, but you'renot my mommy and you're not my
daddy, you didn't raise me.

Carmen (21:23):
Well, they're never the mother or father they're.
They're the biological parent,but they're not, didn't?
They don't make you nothing.
My silly um, it sounds like mysharonah, I don't know Celium.
My Celium is the root thatsupposedly connects all
mushrooms all over the world.

(21:44):
Oh, okay, there you go.
Okay, but that's, that's a goodthing.
He's saying we're all connected, all over the world.
Yeah, no, cynthia, we are nowmoss and Like that better than
the family bush.
So I'm gonna go down the list.
What would you do for your bestfriend that you wouldn't do for
someone else?

Rick (22:06):
Oh, Get up at two o'clock in the morning to go help them
do something.

Cynthia Ruiz (22:12):
They need desperately.

Carmen (22:16):
I look it, I would wouldn't help Most people move.
Like I remember back when I wasyounger, everybody was always
moving and we'd all chip in andget together and I'd be like,
why am I doing this?
I don't even know you people, Idon't drink beer, I don't care
about pizza, Like you know whatI mean.
So I always thought about thatLike I'm like I am never gonna

(22:39):
help anyone move, ever again.
So I think if I had a bestfriend that had needed help
moving, thank God all my bestfriends have enough money to
hire people now, but I wouldhelp a best friend move, but I
don't think I would help otherpeople.
That kind of is kind of ageneralization.
You know there are certainthings.

Rick (22:58):
Did you see that commercial where the guy's like,
yeah, I'm gonna be moving?
He was like talking to a bunchof friends and one of the
friends is like, oh, you knowwhat, I'm gonna be away that
weekend.
I didn't tell you what weekend.
Yeah, this is so true.

Carmen (23:12):
I don't know why, but I mean, I guess when you're
younger and you wanna help eachother, I guess it's cheaper.
It's not though.
Just hire people.
I don't know.
You can get y'all a littleyou-how, do it yourself.
If you don't have enough moneyto move on your own, then you
should not have that muchstuffage to do it yourself.
I think that's gonna be my newcriteria.

(23:33):
Can you have best friends thatyou work with?
Ooh, ooh, I'll start.
I have worked with both.
Well, I met Andrea because shewas, I hired her.
That's how we became bestfriends.
I think we talked about that ina different podcast and I could
certainly work with Andreaagain, like, I think, because

(23:53):
it's not working for someone.
That's where I think thedifference is, and Mia and I
have exchanged clients.
We've worked together.
She came and helped us at BrandNew School in New York when I
was running the offices here inLos Angeles to do us a favor.
But I think it's differentbecause we were already friends
and it's a mutual respect thing.

(24:15):
It's not a she's not workingfor me.
But I've said this a milliontimes I don't have friends that
I work with.
They all.
They think we're friends, but Ido not have friends I work with
and I can't.
So I have another best friend.

Cynthia Ruiz (24:33):
I have more than one, but this one I actually-.
Okay, Cynthia, okay, I believeyou.

Rick (24:39):
What actually-?
Another secret coming out thecloset, okay.

Carmen (24:42):
She got this for you.
She just lied.
They imagine they're friends.
I'm just kidding.
Look at me having such an ego,like I'm supposed to know all
your friends, but-.
It was just stunning, but goahead.

Cynthia Ruiz (24:52):
We actually worked together and I was actually her
boss, but we worked welltogether.
And what's her name?

Carmen (24:59):
Cindy, is this one of the people you've been
complaining to me about?
No, I'm just kidding.

Rick (25:02):
No, it's just friends.

Carmen (25:04):
Yeah, so that worked out , but you're not best friends,
no more.
No, we're not.
She was in Egypt for them.
Yeah, but you were best friendswhen you first started working
together or after.

Cynthia Ruiz (25:15):
Actually, it's kind of funny how we met.
So I started working at ThingsRemember, which is an engraving
shop, and me and her at firstdid not get along at all.
That's why we really hated eachother.
And one day my boss had putboth of us to work together
alone just me and her, okay.
And she was pregnant at thetime with her first child and a

(25:39):
customer came in and startedcussing her out.
And I cussed out the customerand told her not to speak to my
employees like that, and eversince then we became friends
Okay.

Carmen (25:50):
Here's the thing.
Cynthia is really nice.
You could see right, joyful,happy.
You don't want to be on her badside.
I don't know if I was on yourbad side, but I remember we
didn't talk for a long time,like I don't know if I forget
what it was.

Cynthia Ruiz (26:08):
No, you were on my bad side, I just didn't like
what you had said.
But I was like, oh, whatever,okay, it took like a couple of
days.

Carmen (26:18):
And I was like I don't remember what I said, but I was
like, ooh, Cynthia gets mad.
She don't talk to people, Evenif you try.
Hey, Cynthia, just checking in.

Cynthia Ruiz (26:29):
Okay.
Oh, my boss knows when I'mupset.

Carmen (26:33):
I think anyone would know when you're upset, cynthia,
you're not going to hide it.
Well, I'm so sorry.
Oh yeah, I don't.

Cynthia Ruiz (26:39):
I get very quiet and you just see it all over my
face.

Carmen (26:42):
You don't talk to nobody .
Even when Juan was away,because he had to be away and
you were all like brooding inyour apartment or whatever in
your house, like Cynthia you,okay, yep, what did Juan do?
Nothing.
The poor man had to go home fora tragedy, like he was angry

(27:07):
about it for how long?
Like 15 days.
But I guess that's love.
I guess that's a whole otherconversation, I don't know.

Cynthia Ruiz (27:16):
That's a whole other friendship there yeah.

Carmen (27:20):
True, exactly.
Yeah, I mean, you're one ofthose people that I would never
want to be on your bad side,because it's confusing, because
you know I've hurt you somehow,but then I'm not clear what I
did and you're not going to talkto me until you're ready,
mm-hmm, and that's what happenedand I'm like, okay, I felt bad.
I was like I hope nothinghappened to a woman.

Cynthia Ruiz (27:41):
That was like mild , that was nothing.
That was.

Carmen (27:45):
Trust me Well because we don't really have a fight or
anything.
Right, yeah, I know, becauseI'm almost perfect.

Rick (27:54):
And so humble too.

Cynthia Ruiz (27:56):
Right, I'm extremely busy.
I'm so busy at all.

Carmen (27:58):
right, I got to share that and I'm very humble.
I cannot help it.
Okay, Rick, what about you?
You work with your friends.

Rick (28:07):
I've never had a best friend that I worked with, so
could I have a best friend?
I don't know.
I've never had that opportunity.
Friends, yes, but best friendI've never had a best friend
that I worked with.

Carmen (28:18):
Right, I have one of it's so funny one of my clients.
You know, this is what thiswhole thing about friendship
came up, because it's beencoming up so much.
But one of my clients hired oneof his friends to be his
assistant because the friendneeded money and I was like I'm
not trying to be rude or nothing, but that's not a friend.

(28:39):
If you come to me as a friendand you're like you know what
I'm not doing too well and Ineed some help, and I'm like you
know what, I have a great idea.
Why don't you work for me?
It was a disaster from day one.
They both admitted it washorrible.
I mean, if you're my friend andyou come to me in desperation,

(29:02):
I'm going to just give you themoney.
I'm not going to have you workme, you work for it.
But here's the thing like when Ispoke to him about it I said
you know it never works out withfriendship.
He's like yes, it does.
It does just not this time.
Until I was like you know what?
Maybe you're right, let meagain.
I'm moving to another country.
I'm visualizing, like why did Ieven step into that

(29:25):
conversation?
I have no idea.
Yeah, that just happened toremember.

Rick (29:31):
When I love Lucy, ricky got mad because they did
something with friends or familyor something.
I think it was Ethel and Fred.
They went into businesswhatever and he started yelling
in Spanish.
I was always told you don't doa friend Business with family
and friends.
You don't do that.

Carmen (29:44):
I've never watched Lucy, I know.

Rick (29:50):
I'll see you later.

Carmen (29:54):
I've never seen her.
Really, yeah, I know who she is.
Yeah, yeah, you watched itFirst of all.
It was before our time, soyou're watching reruns, but it's
timeless.

Rick (30:04):
It's a good show.

Carmen (30:05):
No no, I know.
So I don't like slapstickcomedy, I don't like that kind
of.
It's not always slapstick, butI didn't like the whole.
I don't like.
Yeah, I don't Like.
I love Steve Martin.
I don't want to watch him inanything.
The only thing I've seen him inis with Queen Latifah, and I
went to see it because of QueenLatifah.
Remember that movie?
I forget what it was, but itwas good when she's in prison.

Cynthia Ruiz (30:27):
Yeah, yeah, I'm so surprised you were Bringing
down the house.

Carmen (30:33):
Bringing down the house.
Yeah, I mean it was, but likethat's probably the only movie I
can really say that I everwatched of Steve Martin, because
just not like Wow, look at allof his Everybody's all of Steve
Martin.

Cynthia Ruiz (30:44):
Yeah, get her.
Get her, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know it's
called I Love Lucy, right, Iknow?

Carmen (30:54):
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I love Lucy.
Right, it's yeah.

Rick (31:00):
Well, that was one show, but yeah, how rude, how rude.
What's the?

Carmen (31:04):
other show.
There was another show, she wason.

Rick (31:05):
Yeah, multiple shows.
Yeah, after she divorced Ricky,she went on and did other shows
.
Oh my God.

Carmen (31:09):
You got way too See.
It's like Ricky got all of it.
After she got divorced she gotanother show.
It's like that's too much.
Is that just common knowledge?
Everybody knows that.

Rick (31:18):
Well, people that liked it , like Lucy, know yeah.

Carmen (31:21):
I'm just saying that was a show before our time, so you
guys were watching reruns ofthat.

Rick (31:26):
What's wrong?

Carmen (31:26):
with that.

Rick (31:27):
I watched reruns of all kinds of shows.
I watched that I watched theHigh.

Carmen (31:30):
Mooners, okay, I just want to say I'm going to throw
this out there.
I was in rehearsal.
Okay, I wasn't watching allyour shows.
I was in rehearsal, but I don't.
I'm just kidding, but I don't.
I just never got into.
It's just not my genre.
Even when I was a kid it wasn'tmy genre.
There's different strokes fordifferent folks.
Yeah, I did watch All in theFamily.

(31:51):
I watched Religiously.
I watched the JeffessonsReligiously.
Religiously, I watched what wasDino Might?
What was that one?

Rick (32:01):
Oh, good time, Good time, good times.

Carmen (32:02):
Good times.
Yeah, Welcome back.

Rick (32:05):
Carter.

Carmen (32:06):
So it was a good show.

Rick (32:07):
Welcome back, Carter.
I watched that.

Carmen (32:08):
Welcome back, carter.
Oh my God, john Travolta was inthat.

Rick (32:13):
Yeah.

Carmen (32:14):
Yeah, oh, my God, okay, that's going way back.
We were really kids with thatone.

Rick (32:18):
Oh yeah.

Carmen (32:20):
Because that was like the 70s or early 80s right.

Rick (32:22):
I think 70s maybe yeah.

Carmen (32:24):
Yeah, welcome back.
I didn't even thought of that.

Rick (32:27):
Yeah.

Carmen (32:28):
I kind of erased that in my hand somehow Remember that
guy Horseshack.
Horseshack, yeah, oh oh, oh, oh, oh.
Yeah, it was a show.

Rick (32:33):
Nightcore oh my God, Nightcore.
I didn't know that I loveNightcore.

Carmen (32:38):
I love Nightcore.
What's Nightcore?
I didn't see Nightcore.

Rick (32:42):
I wasn't super into it, but it looks like Cynthia might
have been.

Carmen (32:45):
Oh yeah, that sounded like a little bit of a diss and
not kind of like friendship.
You know what I mean, man.
The shows from back in the day,though, like some of them,
still hold up today.

Rick (33:02):
What's happening?

Carmen (33:04):
Yeah, okay, yeah, now we're getting into the stuffage
that I would have watched.
Yeah, Like.
I really watched that but Ireally did love.
For some reason I really lovedAll in the Family and the
Jeffersons I loved them.
I mean, I know I loved All inthe Family because my mother
loved it.
What?

Cynthia Ruiz (33:22):
about Sam.

Carmen (33:23):
Friedensohn, did you ever?

Rick (33:24):
watch that.

Carmen (33:24):
Yes, I mean, I knew of it, but it wasn't my thing, Like
he got on my nerves.
I just didn't like the wholelike it was a garage.
No, what was it?
A?

Rick (33:39):
junkyard Junkyard.

Carmen (33:40):
Junkyard, I didn't like all that.
Yeah, I was like that's my mama.

Rick (33:46):
I just loved seeing Esther go off on to Fred Sanford
because she was hilarious.

Cynthia Ruiz (33:49):
Oh my gosh Amazing .

Carmen (33:52):
Yeah, that was so good.
I do remember that from thatshow you know with the heart
attack all the time.
Yeah, coming to join you,elizabeth, coming to join you,
I'm going to join you, and Iused to be like he's annoying.
But yeah, I do remember.
Mama just said I spoke Spanishfirst and still watch Lucy.
We see the Jeffersons was aspinoff of Ma.

Rick (34:12):
Yeah, I didn't know that until recently.
Okay.

Carmen (34:16):
I didn't see Ma.
What is Ma?

Rick (34:18):
Ma you remember the Golden Girls?

Carmen (34:20):
Yeah.

Rick (34:21):
The tall one.

Carmen (34:23):
B Arthur yes.

Rick (34:24):
Yeah, that was Ma, she had a show.

Cynthia Ruiz (34:28):
And the Jefferson of the spin off of that.

Rick (34:30):
Yeah, they were on her show before Jefferson's.
Oh, but they were also on Allin the Family too, the
Jeffersons.

Carmen (34:37):
No right, like the Jeffersons were a spin off of
All in the Family that I know, Iwow, I didn't know that the
Jeffersons Wait, the Jeffersonswere a spin off of.

Rick (34:47):
All in the Family.
Oh, wait, a minute, wait.
I remember Good Times.
The mom from Good Times was onMaude.
Is that where you jump up?
Maybe that's where you jump up.

Carmen (34:54):
Yeah, because, mario, I think maybe I don't know, we
have to look it up.

Cynthia Ruiz (35:00):
Maude was Edith's husband, edith's husband, so All
in the Family, not theJefferson.

Rick (35:05):
Dang.
This is like a mycelial anothernetwork going on here.
Everything's related Wait aminute.

Carmen (35:11):
So Maude.
Oh, okay, you're right.
So Maude was Edith's cousin, soall in the Family was a spin
off of Maude.

Cynthia Ruiz (35:23):
That would make more sense.

Carmen (35:25):
Not sure, but maybe I don't know about that.
I don't know about that BecauseI don't know.
Maude, I'm not saying you'rewrong, I just don't know.

Cynthia Ruiz (35:31):
Yeah, I never saw the show, but it was just like
that All in the family.

Carmen (35:34):
I think was its first thing and then there were
spin-offs from that.
But you're saying Maude wasbefore all in the family.

Rick (35:42):
I saw it the last time.
I saw Maude and I really wasn'tinto that show.
But I had the mom from GoodTimes and her.
They were both talking to eachother and Maude was like well,
when women of our age get to bethis age by the lot, and the mom
said our age, you don't knowhow old I am and you hate that
about my people, don't you?

Cynthia Ruiz (36:00):
So funny, so funny .

Carmen (36:04):
I mean shows like that back in the day really took.
You know, let's give a shoutout to Norman Lear, because most
of every one of these showswe're talking about and God love
him he's about to turn 101.
Wow, he was the executiveproducer and the creator of most
of these shows we're talkingabout.
All in the family was the first, that's what I thought, and
then there were spin-offs fromit.

(36:25):
It's kind of like Cheers, soyou had Cheers, and then there
was Frazier and there was someother one that didn't do well,
but you know.

Rick (36:33):
Was Taxi related to those at all, or?

Carmen (36:38):
no, I think.
Taxi was way before Cheers, oh,you mean to this group of stuff
?

Rick (36:42):
I'm not sure if they were related to those Taxi's way
before.

Carmen (36:45):
Cheers, Cheers is the 80s, 80s, yeah, yeah, yeah, but
I was just saying you know thespin-offs or whatever.
Oh, that is so.
Wow, we really went off topicand I love it.
Look at Melanie.
Melanie's like the Jefferson'smod, then the theme.
She's like oh, and it was first, she gone, she gone get us.
So mod was after theJefferson's?

(37:07):
Oh, that's what Cynthia wassaying, right?

Cynthia Ruiz (37:11):
No, I thought mod was really old.

Rick (37:14):
I thought mod was really old.

Cynthia Ruiz (37:17):
Yeah.

Carmen (37:18):
I don't know Okay here we go.
Okay, yeah, jefferson's was aseparate spin-off, but how do
you guys watch all these old TVland or something?
Are they just on TV land?

Cynthia Ruiz (37:27):
I mean, yeah, all these old shows aren't still,
but I remember while thesecompany, all these streaming
sites, have all these old showson there too oh yeah, yeah, yeah
.

Carmen (37:36):
No, I'm just going to stick to my sci-fi.
I'm addicted.
Even today I sent Rick a clip.
I'm like did you know?

Rick (37:43):
I'm just like oh by the way, Pluto has exclusive Lucy
channel, by the way.
What do you mean?

Carmen (37:50):
Oh, pluto the show.
I'm not going to watch Lucy.
I told you it's not my genre.
I you know it's so funny.
Okay, so I I dated this guyonce and he was a big fan of the
Lucy show, whatever.
He was like, ah, I can'tbelieve you never watched it.
And I was like yeah, I did.
And he's like, oh, and I waslike he is fine, I'm going to
watch this show with him.
You know what I mean.
Like that's going to be ourthing, but he was obsessed and

(38:13):
it was not that much fun for me.
Like it just.
I'm not saying it wasn't funny,it's just when something
doesn't work for you, like, sothat never worked out that
relationship, clearly.

Cynthia Ruiz (38:23):
You didn't know the whole V divided Benjamin
episode.

Rick (38:25):
Yeah, that was funny.

Cynthia Ruiz (38:26):
That was the best one, the only clips I know of
the things on on.

Carmen (38:31):
On Pretty Woman, like I remember, like, remember when
she meets Richard Gere oh yeah,you're stomping on the tomatoes
or whatever and the grapes orwhatever.
It is Like.
I've only seen clips of things.
I feel.
Now I feel bad.
It's my show.
We're going to talk about stuffthat I've seen, only things
that I like, only things thatI'm aware of.

(38:53):
I, I, I want to see the showmod.
I like to be Arthur, I like hertoo.
I guess I knew she was on asitcom before.

Rick (39:04):
I loved her on Golden Girls, but I've watched mod and
it wasn't for me.

Carmen (39:09):
Oh, what's the storyline of mod, is it not cool?

Rick (39:13):
I just was bored.
I never really got into it andI tried to watch it.
I asked the point.

Carmen (39:17):
Well, that's how I felt about Lucy, but you know,
whatever I'm just going to say,I know, I know, I know people
going to be like that's it, wewriting off this stupid.
All about the joy, all aboutthe stupid is what it seems like
.
Can you ever have too manyfriends?

Rick (39:31):
Yes, yes, mario.

Carmen (39:33):
What's the chocolate factory?
Oh yeah, that's a good one,lucy, yeah.

Rick (39:39):
Her and Ethel worked at this chocolate place and it's a
conveyor belt and they have tohave clips of that.

Carmen (39:43):
I've seen that.
Yeah, okay, another move,another show.
I've never seen that.
Everyone talks about the big,the big guy, and they live in an
apartment and there's nothingin the apartment really is old,
it's like black and white.

Rick (39:58):
Honeymooners.

Carmen (39:59):
That one.
That's it yeah.

Rick (40:01):
I've never seen that.

Carmen (40:02):
That's how clips I love the honeymooners.

Rick (40:05):
Dad's mom loved that show and she didn't even speak.

Carmen (40:07):
English.
She should have done a funnyshow.
So you guys have seen that too,yeah.

Rick (40:12):
A little bit.
I haven't seen it.

Carmen (40:13):
I used to watch that with my mom.
Anyone watched Chico and theman.
Yes, I loved Chico and the manand I thought Chico was my
father.

Cynthia Ruiz (40:21):
I don't know what's that in?

Carmen (40:25):
What's Chico and the man I remember, and he died, he
died, he died really young too.
I've never even heard of thatshow.
Are you serious?
No, all right, whatever.

Rick (40:37):
Hey, I got to go Dad's on TV, bye.

Carmen (40:41):
There's a big little kid .
I don't remember what it wasall about, but he was.
He was I mean, he was Chicano,you know, he was Latino, but it
was called Chico and the man.
And the man was a white guy andthey worked together.
But I forget the whole thing,but I can see his face.
I can see his face and I justremember being like I know
that's who my father is.
I know I'm so obsessed and Iremember it because my mother

(41:04):
would say if you ever asked meagain who your father is, you're
going to get it.
But in my pillow she got.
So mad.
I was silly when we're childrenso silly.
Okay, I was going to go on toanother subject, but this just
seems like so much fun.
Okay, can you have too manyfriends?

Cynthia Ruiz (41:27):
I don't think so, but then again it depends on
what you define, friends.

Rick (41:32):
Yeah, I'm thinking of somebody who I won't say their
name, but they think everybody'stheir friend and it's like it
doesn't.

Carmen (41:40):
Do we know them?

Rick (41:42):
I'm going to shut my mouth .
But yeah, you just can't befriends with everybody.
It's not going to work.

Carmen (41:50):
But I think it's what Cynthia just said, right, and
she just said depends on whatyour definition of friendship is
.
I think that people mistakeacquaintances.
That's something that I wish Ihad written in Dao, but Maya
Angelou said it reallybeautifully.
She said something to theeffect of you know, people
confuse really greatacquaintances with what

(42:14):
friendship is, and I thinkfriendship can be defined
whatever it is you need it to be, but if you're delusional about
it, you're going to end upgetting hurt.
And I always say this thingthat you know a lot of people
think I'm their friend.
I'm not.
You know.
I'm the very importantdefinitions in my life that
determine a friendship, and oneof them is respect.

(42:38):
And if you can't respect, evenif I'm wrong, even if I'm mean,
even if I make a mistake, if youcan't respect me as a human
being, we're not friends.
Like, we're not friends.
And I have battled it out.
Mia and I have battled it outAlden and I have battled it out.

(42:58):
I love him and he's in Scotlandright now.

Cynthia Ruiz (43:04):
Like I told you that right.

Carmen (43:06):
Today he's in Scotland and he just had major surgery.
But this man cannot stay off ofhis damn bike.
So he's in Scotland with all ofhis friends.
We had a big fight about it,you know, but whatever he's
grown, he's a grown man.
But if you can have thosedisagreements, you can have
those fights, you can have thosebattles back and forth and then

(43:27):
you can learn to listen to eachother and find a way to come to
a mutual understanding.
That only helps thatrelationship, you know.
And if you can't do that, thenthere is no relationship.
There there's no connection.
There's just you wanting to beright, or you wanting to step on

(43:48):
me, to to whatever, or youwanting to be connected Like
that's the thing I can't stand.
People want to be connected tome.
This is not even an ego thing.
I know you guys haveexperienced it too.
They want to be connected toyou.
When things are good,Everybody's afraid.
When things are good, who areyou for?
What you have or what theythink you have?

Cynthia Ruiz (44:11):
you know what I mean.

Carmen (44:13):
They don't know and they can't tell.
I mean if you have arelationship or Billy.

(44:37):
You know Billy is like abrother to me.
You know I would die for Billy,you know, but if Charlie called
me and said he needed something, I would help him in a
heartbeat because he's neverbeen anything but a good friend
to me.
You know what I mean Like agood person funny laughter,
there's no drama, it's very easyand he's hilarious.
He was on the show, for I justwant to say this because I was

(44:59):
going to text you, rick he wason the show for what?
20 minutes last week.
I have like 90 clips of him.

Cynthia Ruiz (45:07):
Funny.

Carmen (45:10):
Like I swear to God.
I was like, oh, I can use thisone.
There's so many of him becausehe's just, he has such an energy
, you know I mean, yeah, I'm notgoing to use them all, but I
was just like I use.
You saw, I used quite a few ofthem already.
You know, Cynthia, you missedit.
You missed Charlie last week.
Yeah, yeah, Okay, Anything elseon.

(45:31):
Can you have too many friends?

Rick (45:38):
I just remembered going back to Tyler Perry, as, as
Medea, he was saying everybody'slife is like a book and when
you read a book, a story,there's the main character,
that's you, and then there'sother characters and some of the
characters on every singlechapter, but some of the
characters are only in a fewchapters and they may come in,
they may go out, because youcan't expect everybody to be in
every chapter.
That doesn't make any sense,that's not real life and I'm

(45:59):
like when I heard that, I waslike wow, yeah.

Carmen (46:02):
Well, and look, I'll bring up a bad part, something
that happened and, rick, I thinkI told you about this.
I think I talked about it acouple of episodes ago too.
I had a friend named Todd Fiskand we were really great friends
.
I moved out here, we went tocollege together.
There was never anythingromantic between us at all, we
were just really good friends.
We were in film classestogether.

(46:23):
I moved out here, he moved outhere.
I helped him get an apartmentout here.
He just a really wonderfulperson.
He borrowed my car to go to SanDiego, whatever.
We had a huge fight.
I don't even remember what itwas about, but I remember him
calling me and he was in SanDiego and he had to return my
car and I said, when you getback we'll just talk about it.

(46:44):
But we've had this huge fight.
And he came back to my condoand he, when I wasn't there, and
he left the car and he left thekeys on the doorknob like in a
bag.
We never talked after that,never talked again, never.
And I was just this is going.
It's not going to make me cry,but this is.
These are the choices and theseare the consequences that

(47:07):
happen when you make thesedecisions.
So we never talked after thisand I googled him because I was
wondering how he was doing.
I always googled people,especially when I talked to
people I cared about.
He died in January of cancer ofthe year and he had two kids.
He has two children and a wife.

(47:29):
And because I was reading theobituary and I was like horrible
, horrible, I mean, would Ichange anything I had done?
No, because I did the best Ican.
He chose not to talk to me everagain.
He chose not to come.
I tried to reach out to him acouple of times after, but I get

(47:50):
the hint you don't want to.
We, you know what I mean.
Like that's, I'm really good atthat.
I'm good at cutting people outand I'm good at respecting
people's wishes, you know.
But you know, that kind ofbroke my heart.
I mean sad, you know.
So it could go either way andthat was somebody I loved and
cared about and we'd known eachother for so long.
But I wish I could remember,like, what we thought about.

(48:13):
Like I can't even remember whatit like, I think it was a girl,
like I think he liked somebodyand I don't even remember, but I
think it was like he alwaysused to.
You know, we all have thesefriends that keep dating people
and they're the one and then youhave to hear about it.
I don't know if that's it, butI think it was something to do

(48:34):
with that.
You know what I mean Like, andI wasn't listening, I wasn't
taking seriously, or you knowwhat I mean and it was
disrespectful of me, probably,you know.
Getting back to that, you know.
So I lost that friend and Ipaid a dear price for that.

Cynthia Ruiz (48:49):
So I have a question.
So we've been talking aboutwhat we think are best friends.
Do we think that our bestfriends see us as a best friend?

Carmen (49:00):
Even if they don't, I make them.
I'm like me, I'm your bestfriend, right?
Right, I mean you could haveall the best friends, but I'm
your best friend, right?
Andrea too, I'm like.
I know Andrea's best friend,leslie.
Her name is Leslie and I thinkshe's fabulous and wonderful,
but I'm also Andrea's bestfriend.
You can have more than one bestfriend.
And here's how Mia handled it.
When Mia got married, she hadher two best friends, susie and

(49:23):
Mindy, who I know, I know them.
They're on my Facebook, I knowthem, I've met them, we've all
hung out and they were herbridesmaids or her maids of
honor or whatever, and I gavethe toast at the reception.
You know what I mean, and I wastotally cool with that, because
we all know I hate weddings.

Tyler Perry (49:40):
I don't go to weddings.

Carmen (49:42):
Did I go to your wedding ?
Nope, I don't go to weddings,so, but I think I was traveling.
Now, right, I don't know whathappened with your wedding.

Cynthia Ruiz (49:50):
I honestly don't remember, I don't go to weddings
.

Carmen (49:53):
But anyway.
So that's how it's handled Idon't have a problem with
because we all have multiplebest friends and they all like.
I would never, ever think orfeel like I have to compete with
Leslie at all.
There is no competition, it'sjust an is-ness, you know, yeah,

(50:14):
how many best friends can youhave?

Rick (50:19):
I mean me personally.
I've never had more than two.
That's just me.

Carmen (50:24):
I have wait.
You wrote how many best bestfriends can you have?

Rick (50:30):
Oh, I just didn't even see that.

Carmen (50:32):
She wrote best best friends.
Oh, that's another levelInteresting.
Best best friend Is that a typo?

Cynthia Ruiz (50:41):
Is that a?

Carmen (50:41):
typo.
I'm trying to figure out ifthat's a typo.
I don't know.

Rick (50:47):
Let me ask my friend hey, are you just my best friend?
Are you my best best friend?
Let me know, okay.

Carmen (50:55):
Not a typo, not a typo.

Cynthia Ruiz (50:56):
okay, no.
So let me ask you this is abest best friend, someone who,
not to be rude, but would wipeyour ass if you need them to, Is
that a best best friend?

Carmen (51:10):
I don't know if that's a best friend.
This sounds like a spouse.
Okay, I don't know.

Cynthia Ruiz (51:15):
I was gonna say, if someone's not married and
single, you know what?
If you are, an accident can'tmove.
You need to go to the bathroom.
Your best, best friend is thereand you can't move.

Carmen (51:30):
That's your definition.

Rick (51:34):
The timing of the statement is horrible for me
because I didn't go to bed tillthree.

Cynthia Ruiz (51:38):
There's best, best , best friend.

Carmen (51:40):
That there is best, best best friend.
Yeah, Rick, don't even go whereyou're going, Don't?

Rick (51:45):
do that.
No, that timing of thestatement, I don't know.
It's worst timing.

Carmen (51:49):
Okay, here's what I'll tell you.
I would wipe anyone's ass if Ineeded to help somebody.
That's not, for me, adefinition of best friend.
I mean, I know what you'resaying, but if somebody needed
help and I had to be the onlyone there, I would help them out
.
You know what I mean.
I don't know if a best friendhas to be the person that you do

(52:13):
the most for.
At the end of the day and thisisn't, this is just part of what
I wish the world was like but Iwould like to believe if
somebody was in need and I wasstanding there, I would help
somebody.
You know what I mean.
That's not a definition to me.
That's not part of thedefinition I think for me.
That's just being a good person.

(52:33):
That's just being a good person, yeah, but it is funny.
But I think for me what reallymatters is there's a history and
there are ebbs and flows inthat history, and can you
withstand all of the ebbs andflows in relationships in order
to sustain and kind of getstronger as friends?

(52:55):
You know I don't talk to Andreaand Mia on an everyday basis.
There was a time we did likethere was a time when it was
like everyday, whatever we don'tneed to.
But I have no doubt in my mind,if I called either one of them
or if I called Billy or Aldenand if I was just like I'm in
trouble, I need help, that therewould not be a hesitation.

(53:16):
And it's cause over time we'vebuilt that relationship Also,
and look at this is a good one.
There are very few people Iwould go to and ask for help
because I know they wouldn't letme down.
I know people who have moremoney than God right, you know
whatever, like whoever war andbuffet, not that he's God, but I

(53:39):
realize what I see.
But I'm just saying, like whatmoney?
And then you're like you knowwhat?
I just need a few bucks.
You know I'm having a hard timeand they're like ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, like are you kidding me?
I've had people who have moneyand have said I'ma send you
$1,500, not a problem, and thennever did it.

(54:02):
And then never did it.
But then they're like no, no,we're friends, no, we're not
bitch.

Cynthia Ruiz (54:07):
We are not friends .

Carmen (54:10):
I'm not kidding, this really happened.
Somebody who has a lot of moneyturned around and said they
were gonna help me out.
This was years ago, years agobefore my book, and I was just
in a bad situation.
I was between jobs and I wasjust like, oh my God, can you
help me?
And they were like I'ma sendyou $15.
I'm like, thank you, thank you.
So let me tell you, $1500 tothem would be like $5 to me

(54:31):
right now.
It's not gonna hurt me to givesomebody $5.
I don't need no emails or textmessages.
Thank you very much.
Okay, so absolutely really aboutfor me, longevity.
History ebbs and flows.
Who are you when a problemhappens really matters to me.

(54:52):
Like, can you be the betterperson when I'm at my lowest
point?
Can you lift me up?
Yep, and let me tell you Andrea, andrea proved I mean, I love
Andrea.
She'll always be one of mydearest and best friends.
But this surgery I had, thiswas no joke.

(55:13):
I mean, the surgery wasn't thebig deal, it was the trauma
behind it.
And then I was like, okay, Iowe you.
She's like, yes, you do.
I'm writing it down, you knowwhat I mean.

Rick (55:25):
Like yeah, I got another scenario.

Carmen (55:28):
Yeah, go ahead.

Rick (55:29):
Have you ever had this where you were with some people
and this other person thatyou're just friends with said oh
yeah, they're my best friend.
And they're like oh really.
And then you're like talk offme, damn.
Yeah, we talk a lot, I needyour best friend to know.
It's awkward.

Carmen (55:47):
It is awkward, but you gotta let people believe it.
But you know, I put my footdown.
I think I mean some peoplereally want to be your friend
and that's a blessing, that's anice thing, you know.
But you can't have everybody inyour life.
Yeah, and sometimes people dothat because they want you to
know that you're their bestfriend and they want to hear

(56:09):
that reciprocated.
So sometimes, when it isn't, itkind of gives them the
information.
You know that's a hard one.
Yeah, that's a hard.
That's happened a few times tome too.
I don't say anything though,just let it go.
Yeah, and what are you gonna do?
And here's the thing there aredifferent levels of friend.
Like somebody, being your bestfriend doesn't mean you can't

(56:30):
have another great friend orsomebody who's close to you or a
family member.
You know what I mean.
Like there's no competition oflove.
Yeah, I told Juliana like Isaid, juliana, who is the best,
most important adult ever andthis was.
She was little.
She's 15 now, but she would belike you are, but don't tell my
mom and dad.
I was like and I realized I waslike okay, that's not what I

(56:53):
meant, like I did.

Rick (56:55):
I just had a flashback, and this is not friend, but this
was like girlfriend supposedly.
I was in like third grade andthese two girls that lived on my
street like you hang out on thestreet with friends, whatever,
and these two girls wereliterally pulling me arm to arm.
No, he's my boyfriend.
No, he's my boyfriend.
I'm like I ain't none of y'allboyfriend.
Y'all are crazy.

Carmen (57:15):
Yeah, yeah, oh my God, I think it's like you know, look
at, we all wanna be connectedand we all we're social beings
and of course we want.
I always say that the umbrellais love, but we wanna love and
we wanna be loved.
There's nothing wrong with that.
But you cannot, you cannot havereally great relationships in

(57:38):
your life if you are not okay inyour heart as well.
You know that's just me.
That doesn't mean, look at,that's why friendships grow and
move on right.
I have another friend onFacebook, jackie, who I've known
since I was like 10 years old.
I used to live at her house.
You know what I mean Like withher mom and her family, and you

(57:59):
know we don't talk at all, butif she called me tomorrow I'd be
like what you need, jack.
Friendships grow and change andyou evolve, but it doesn't mean
that solid friendship is notstill important to you.
It just means it's, you know,one of the rocket boosters
that's moved away, but I still.
I can see it.
I can see it.
You know what I mean.
Let me see if I have any morequestions.

(58:22):
But, rick, I think you and Ihave become friends and that
we've never met in real life.

Rick (58:26):
Yeah, yeah, and I've told you that I've met people that I
only knew online, for real.

Cynthia Ruiz (58:31):
Yeah.

Rick (58:32):
And they're like you're the same we just you're quieter
than we thought you were.

Carmen (58:37):
I'm not worried about you.
What did you think about allthe other people, right?
I mean, did they seem to be thesame?

Rick (58:43):
Pretty much, yeah, pretty much.
Some of them, some of them Ithought were friendly or even in
person, really yeah.

Carmen (58:51):
Cynthia.

Cynthia Ruiz (58:53):
Honestly, the only people I talk to online are,
like high school or middleschool friends or family.
I never really met new peopleother than you, rick, I know, I
know.

Carmen (59:06):
Yeah, because you know Andrea, you know Alden, I know
Andrea.
Alden hasn't been on the shotor, like Alden says, he wants to
be on the show, but Alden'sjust the talker.
Have you met Alden yet?
I feel like you have, but youhaven't met Alden yet.
Rick In person?
No, that's so weird.
Yeah, yeah.
And you don't know Billy yeteither.
I think that's the weirdestthing.

(59:27):
All of my friends have not.
All of my best friends have notmet each other.
They're gonna that's what I wasworried about If I die, that's
gonna be the first time they allmeet each other.

Cynthia Ruiz (59:41):
I was like I'm all sad about it.

Carmen (59:43):
I was like, oh, that's so funny.

Rick (59:46):
How did you know Carmen?
She was my best friend.

Carmen (59:48):
Oh, she was my best friend too.

Cynthia Ruiz (59:51):
Like wait, no, she was my best friend.
Oh, that's so funny.

Carmen (59:58):
I am blessed with a lot of people in my life who are
good friends.
I feel blessed.
I think that is the real wealth.
You know what?
I'm really in shock.
I didn't think this was gonnago on for as long as it has this
was really fun.
So see you guys again next weekand I'm gonna end the stream.
Thank you to everyone whostopped by.
I appreciate you all andeveryone who's been listening.

(01:00:19):
And yeah, remember, it's allabout the joy.
Thanks for stopping by.
All about the joy.
Be better and stay beautifulfolks, have a sweet day.