November 5, 2023 • 57 mins
Join us as we sit down with Tony, a seasoned veteran, who takes us through the landscape of his life, including the complexities of maintaining family relationships post-divorce. Tony, who's a retired Air National Guardsman and a civil service aircraft mechanic, shares his experiences of navigating life after divorce, the impact it has on mental health, and the importance of family relationships. His story is one of resilience and compassion, offering a candid look at how family dynamics can affect us.
We also delve deep into the challenging world of live streaming, highlighting how negativity can impact the overall conversation. We exchange experiences and strategies to handle such situations and keep the conversations alive. Moving on, we explore different addictions, from money and food to sex and smoking, and how they manifest in our lives. We share our personal experiences, shedding light on how these personal struggles can deeply affect our lives.
Towards the end, we reflect on the significance of healthcare and emergency services in our society, especially in light of a recent distressing incident. We discuss the need for readily available emergency resources and trained personnel in public spaces to ensure everyone's safety. Wrapping up the episode, we extend our heartfelt gratitude to our listeners and promise to continue bringing meaningful and stimulating content. So, tune in and join us in these profound conversations!
Full, unedited episode on YouTube:
Episode 105
https://youtube.com/live/vGvXk_u_pH8
Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. You can also support us by shopping at our STORE - We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.
Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Carmen Lezeth (00:00):
Hi everybody, welcome to All About The Joy.
I'm so glad to be back.
Hi, Rick Costa, I missed you.
Rick Costa (00:06):
Hola, Mr.
Carmen Lezeth (00:07):
Tony, Welcome.
Welcome to the show Officially.
So glad to have you here.
You know Ted Hick sent me atext today that he's upset that
you're moonlighting on all of us.
Officially, Tony will be on theshow every.
Did we say fourth Thursday ofthe month?
Right, okay, wait, all right.
(00:30):
So I'm a little off because Iwas out last week and let me
just tell everybody where I was.
I went home to Patty Ann Wernig,I guess is her married name,
but I've always known her asPatty Ann Martin passed away.
Mary Ann Joann's older sistertheir parents are my godparents.
I grew up with them.
They're my family.
I love them.
(00:51):
And she passed away unexpectedlyand so I went home last week
and I have to say one of themost amazing things that
happened was they had thememorial service.
Then afterwards they, they hadthis hall that they rented out
and there was all this food, andthen there was a bar and there
was this whole celebration ofher life, some like drinking
(01:11):
wine, coolers or whatever.
And at one point I see all thenieces and nephews and they're
all singing and they're justsinging all these old school
songs that were Patty'sfavorites, right.
At one point I looked over andI saw this other generation of
kids just absolutely singing andenjoying and loving on all this
old school music from our dayin honor of their auntie, and it
(01:34):
was like it almost felt likesurreal in a way, and so I
really loved seeing everyone andI want to give a shout out to
all the kids.
But I want to give a shout outto a few people.
So, Kasey Stratton, I knowyou're watching, so thank you, I
miss you, sweet love.
And then there's Brendan,Samantha, Ari, Kirsten, Jonathan
(01:55):
Trevor I want to say to Lindaand Lisa and Lori these are
people watch a show and I didn'tknow that and Sally High, and
then, of course, to Greg andRicky and Mary and Jo-ann.
So I just want to give my loveto all of them.
It was nice to be home withfamily.
By the way, I'm not from NewHampshire, but when I say home,
I mean with people you love.
You know what I mean Like.
(02:16):
So it was nice to be around allthem.
So, yeah, okay.
So now what I would like to do,which I was going to do first,
but you know you were so busy.
I wanted to talk to Tony.
I know people have seen you onthe show, but we've never kind
of talked about where you'refrom, what you do, what you love
.
So why don't you tell us alittle bit about yourself?
Tony Dandridge (02:39):
I going to preface this by telling you that
you and I did this two yearsago and I know you can't find it
, so I don't mind runningthrough it again.
Carmen Lezeth (02:48):
What are we talking about?
This is a whole of the group ofpeople I know it is fun, I'm
going to do that.
Tony Dandridge (02:53):
No, I'm gonna do that for you because this is
fun.
For those of you out there whodo not know me, I am a retired
Air National Guardsman.
I was an aircraft mechanic on F16s in the military for 20
years.
I'm currently a civil serviceaircraft mechanic.
I work on F 15s as a civiliannot military, but as a civilian
on the military installation.
So a lot of times when I try toreserve comments or reserve
(03:14):
actions because of where I'm atin life compared to where I
could be if I didn't do right inthe first damn place, some of
you may want to follow thatexample.
Recently divorced, as ofDecember last year, I'm a father
of two boys and a stepfather ofa stepdaughter my stepdaughter.
Carmen Lezeth (03:28):
Okay, back up right there, Back up right there
.
So, rick, the other day Tonyand I were talking and he said
he had the only kid I knew isJason.
How old is Jason, jason's howold?
11?
9?
Tony Dandridge (03:43):
9.
Carmen Lezeth (03:45):
9.
Okay, and he's talking about hehad a.
Did you know?
He had another son, he had twoother children.
Rick Costa (03:52):
I know about the other son that was living with
him for a while.
Carmen Lezeth (03:56):
He said that I should have known.
That he told me before.
I do not remember this at all.
I would have remembered.
That would have made you a muchmore substantive human being to
me.
Tony Dandridge (04:06):
You know, you forgot what you did I did not
know this.
Carmen Lezeth (04:12):
Okay, anyways, go ahead.
This is gonna last 10 weeks.
If you're watching, you canhave your man back she ain't
ready she ain't ready.
Tony Dandridge (04:22):
She ain't ready.
Carmen Lezeth (04:24):
I am not ready for this mess.
No, Anyways.
Okay, so you have three, kidsthree.
Tony Dandridge (04:31):
I have a stepdaughter is 25.
She just had a baby, so I'm astepgrandfather as well.
My oldest son is yeah, myoldest son is 22.
He's a college graduate.
He graduated the filmproduction about two years ago.
My baby boy is nine.
Carmen Lezeth (04:46):
Wow, well, congratulations on being a
granddad.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Rick Costa (04:51):
So you're the two new children I knew nothing
about, so did it make you feelold when you found out to your
grandpa?
Do you feel older?
Tony Dandridge (05:03):
At my age.
Technically, no, it is a trip,it is.
It is a trip realizing that I'msomewhat of and I say somewhat
of a grandfather, because sheknows her real dad and he's
there.
I was just a stepfather, so Iwould say I got a stepgrandbaby.
I don't try to jump in, but shedid come by, I did see him a
little bit and you know, thefamily's there.
I'm gonna be there regardless.
So that's just how we're doing.
(05:24):
So we keep it, we keep it close, we keep it tight and she's
always been appreciative of meso I'm always gonna look out for
her.
You know what I mean.
Carmen Lezeth (05:31):
Right.
Rick Costa (05:32):
So you've been.
Carmen Lezeth (05:33):
I didn't know you were divorced almost a year ago
.
Tony Dandridge (05:36):
Okay, I knew you were in the process.
I was in the process two yearsago.
We got finalized last year andit's been messing me up.
I'm not gonna lie.
You know I tell people a lot,yeah done, yes finalized, but
I'll be damned if it didn't havean impact.
I'll be damned if it didn'tbother me.
I wouldn't be honest if Ididn't say that it had me messed
(05:56):
up up here.
I got to change my mindset backto not being married anymore.
It takes a lot to put your mindthere in the first place,
especially when you want to bethere.
So when it's over, it kind ofthrows you backwards and for a
lot of people who have beendivorced, I understand what they
went through.
Now, until you go through this,you can't relate and I'll tell
anybody that this was when youwant to be there and it doesn't
(06:17):
work.
This is deeper than losing thejob.
This is deeper than I want tosay losing personal possessions.
You actually do kind of losesomebody in your life and what
you had and what you established, what you put down, all of that
.
Okay, can I ask you a question?
Carmen Lezeth (06:31):
Is this because you're still in love with your
ex-wife, or you're just sayingmarriage as an institution you
liked?
Or is it the person you'remissing, or is that too personal
?
I don't know.
Tony Dandridge (06:43):
It's a little bit of all of it.
I'll be damned if it's a littlebit of all of it.
Rick Costa (06:47):
They used to.
They become a part of youridentity and it's been like that
for so long that it's like aparty you feel like missing now.
And when you have kids on topof that, then that's even more
of a connection which can nevergo away.
Like if you don't have kids,like you didn't have kids,
carmen, so for you you should belike cut off or done, but when
you got kids, there is nocutting off the connection.
Tony Dandridge (07:09):
That's the best way for me to describe it to a
lot of people and see, I seewhat you're saying, technically
and biologically, hisgrandfather still exists and his
grandfather is still there.
That's why I say stepgrandfather on purpose, I'm not
going to step on her dad.
I never tried to do that everand he knows that Me.
I'm actually cool from that,because some dudes come in and
be like you, ain't the father?
(07:29):
No more.
As my baby I never did anything.
I hate when dudes do that shit,I can't step in.
It's blatantly disrespectful tobe parent who is still in the
life and as somebody who is amind game on the kids.
You don't just spend thebiological parents when they're
(07:51):
still around, even if they go onfor a minute and they come
through.
When her dad will come around,I'm like I'll take you to him,
there ain't no problem.
And he already knew he hadreservations about me and I
don't blame him.
I don't because you don't trustnobody around your child.
You ain't supposed to.
But I was always like you'llsee over time it's not a problem
.
Her family was kind of in butas they grew to know me and they
saw how comfortable she was andthey realized I wasn't the
(08:11):
issue.
They don't have a problem withme.
That's the best thing about it.
Carmen Lezeth (08:15):
So Cynthia said I understand, but it's still your
grandbaby.
And then Chris just said andour spirit seeks for that
perfect love that God showed usfrom our beginning.
It's devastating to be hurt.
That's fair.
That's fair.
Tony Dandridge (08:30):
You will realize people that you've heard over
time when you go throughsomething like this.
I've actually apologized topeople for ways that I've been
based on what I was goingthrough, how much of an effect
they had on me.
I admit that this was.
I don't wish this on anybody.
Carmen Lezeth (08:47):
I guess I'm still trying to understand.
And again, I mean, rick, you'reright, I don't have children.
I also think it's I don't have.
There was no anger in ourdivorce.
It was kind of like we couldjust tell it was done.
You know what I mean.
So we both needed to move away.
So it was a little bitdifferent.
I guess my question is and thisagain anything you don't want
(09:10):
to talk about, you don't have totalk about and we can just cut
it off.
But my question is are youstill in love with your ex-wife
or is it the institution ofmarriage that you're talking
about?
You said it's a little bit ofall of it, but it sounds like I
mean we're done.
Tony Dandridge (09:27):
I'll be honest, we're done.
Carmen Lezeth (09:29):
Okay, we're gonna be there.
Tony Dandridge (09:30):
We're gonna be there for our son, but we're
done.
Am I gonna lie and be like I'mnot gonna have an issue?
She moved on.
I'm not gonna lie like that.
I can't, because somebody-.
Carmen Lezeth (09:41):
Are you moving on ?
Are you moving on Like?
Are you dating?
Are you I'm not doing anything.
Tony Dandridge (09:47):
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not going anywhere.
All I do is go to work, and Idon't feel like it.
I really don't.
Carmen Lezeth (09:51):
That was my question.
Are you able to move on andthink about dating other people?
Yes, okay, okay, I'm justtrying to understand where your
head's at when it comes to yourex-wife.
Tony Dandridge (10:04):
Because what was ?
Carmen Lezeth (10:05):
coming across was that you were still in love
with her.
But it's good that you said no,we're done, we're done.
Tony Dandridge (10:11):
I could tell you that I meant what I did when I
married her and that's the partI got to get over.
So for people out there whohave any confusion, let me be
clear.
When I went to go, say I do, Imeant that shit.
When I went to work and camehome and had nothing to worry
about, I meant that shit.
Carmen Lezeth (10:27):
We can change the subject.
Well, I got along with no, no,no, come on.
I didn't mean to get into this.
I was just part of getting toknow you.
But we can move into the wholeChandler Bing Friends situation
If we'd like.
Rick Costa (10:40):
Random friends.
Come on, come on.
Carmen Lezeth (10:41):
You can ask me.
Hi Random Rick, how are you?
You can ask no, I think it wasinteresting because, no, I just
know that Carmen knows all aboutyour situation.
This is such BS and it's notcool.
What?
Tony Dandridge (10:56):
Look, I'm not busted at all.
I'm not busted at all.
Carmen, you can keep asking.
Carmen Lezeth (11:02):
I'm confused.
What is happening?
I know your situation, boy.
This is one of the reasons whyI didn't want you on this show,
right?
It's because all the peopleyou've been doing with you that
seem to always have negativeissues or whatever, so I don't
even know what to say now.
We don't change the subject,because I am not in the mood.
(11:23):
Oh no, no.
No, I do have to because myshow isn't going to be a rehash
of crap from people who are justso silly, do you?
Rick Costa (11:32):
want to hear about how somebody flirted with me on
the phone.
Carmen Lezeth (11:36):
Who flirted with you on the phone.
You made it from work Work.
Okay, wait.
Will you want a zoom call orwould you want a phone call?
Rick Costa (11:45):
No, no, no, no, it was a call.
It was a call, yeah.
So our company moved buildingsand this new city is called
Mount Dora.
So I have to call all thesepeople and say we've moved the
dresses.
Can you update your system?
Blah, blah, blah.
Carmen Lezeth (11:59):
Right.
Rick Costa (12:00):
And so this one girl , she just seemed really
friendly, as it is anyway.
So I was like I'll give back toyou what you give back to me.
And then so I'm telling herMount Dora.
I was like Dora, like D-O-R-A,like Dora the Explorer, and she
goes oh, I was just thinkingabout that, that's so funny.
I was like I know, I feel likesaying I should say something in
Spanish.
Can you say blah, blah, blah?
She says can you go ahead andsay something in Spanish?
(12:23):
I said oh, okay.
Carmen Lezeth (12:25):
Wait a minute.
Okay, I'm still trying tofigure out what's going on here.
It was weird.
Was it weird or were youinterested?
I mean?
Rick Costa (12:34):
it's not like anything will happen.
I don't know.
It's a phone call, I mean comeon.
Tony Dandridge (12:37):
It's from.
Carmen Lezeth (12:37):
Florida.
Rick Costa (12:38):
Hey you know clearly , it's just a phone call.
Tony Dandridge (12:41):
It's just a phone call it's just a phone
call.
Rick Costa (12:43):
It was just funny, it made me laugh.
She said hey, you can saysomething in Spanish to me.
I said, oh okay, I was likewhat should I say?
Deals me.
I don't know.
Okay, wait so do you know thisperson no like, do you?
Carmen Lezeth (13:00):
have to know no, all right.
Well, that's not fun If it'snot going to go somewhere.
Rick Costa (13:04):
I just thought it was very funny.
Carmen Lezeth (13:08):
Well, and there was a good try to change the
subject, but you know we'regoing to have to go back to Tony
.
Tony, you cool.
Tony Dandridge (13:15):
Ask away.
I'm great.
Carmen Lezeth (13:17):
I know, I know no you know it's so weird because,
like this is, it's likeinteresting to like talk to you
and get to know you, but what'snot interesting is having to
deal with all the people thatyou bring to the table when,
when when you're on the table,I'm with them, or cool Some of
them are cool and then somepeople act stupid.
But just, I feel like this isalways going to be an issue.
(13:40):
If I have you on the show, wecan't just have a like this was
kind of a cool conversationright About you and your
relationship, and now we got cutoff because somehow we can't
talk about it because you'regoing to have people in the
comments being ridiculous.
Tony Dandridge (13:56):
I never know that.
I don't let things like thatstop me.
Now, mind you, when I firststarted live stream with people,
I used to see folks go throughit all the time.
It's nothing, they always gothrough it.
Matter of fact for a lot ofpeople who are on Periscope, you
always saw somebody coming insaying something.
All you got to do is keep itgoing.
You could respond to it, butnever let them stop your flow
and never let that topic thisisn't about me, Tony.
Carmen Lezeth (14:18):
This is it.
Listen, listen, there's aquality.
Tony Dandridge (14:19):
I'm not saying.
Carmen Lezeth (14:20):
I'm not saying no , no, but I'm saying there's a
quality and kind of show that'skind of fun.
This is all about the joy, andsome motherfucking people on in
the comments don't understandwhat that means, right?
So we're having this nice flowand conversation about your life
that might be able to helpother people, or getting deep
(14:40):
about talking about some stuff,and what I don't like is this
constant and this is and I'mgoing to say it, this is what I
hated about haps and the peopleon haps.
Like I don't care if I never seea motherfucking other person
from haps ever again in myfucking life, because it's such
negativity.
It is such anger and sadnessand everybody all is about
(15:03):
gossip and about tearing peopledown, and even when you try to
be nice to people, they stillneed to be a bitch.
Hi, chris, your wine.
Tony Dandridge (15:15):
The way people Shadow.
I don't know if you're talkingto me or you.
I don't know, I don't know, Idon't know, I'm sorry, I'm
getting upset.
Carmen Lezeth (15:24):
Look at, the reason why I'm getting upset is
because the people that justkind of stopped our flow are
people who know better, andthey're people I don't want near
my show.
But they choose to be here andthey choose to listen and they
choose to be negative humanbeings who are constantly trying
to bring people down instead oflifting people up, and the
(15:45):
interesting part about it isthat they're always going after
people who want nothing to dowith them.
So that's why I'm upset and I'mso not in the mood.
I thought what you were talkingabout was great and I, you know
.
Again, anything you don't wantto talk about personal is always
your choice, and I actuallydon't know everything.
(16:07):
Even if I did, even if I didn'tknow everything, there are
people who watch the show whodon't know you and might learn
something, and I think that'sthe other part of this that
makes me crazy.
It's like if you are somebodywho's a live streamer, if you
are somebody who's a performerwho does a show, you understand
(16:30):
that when you are talking topeople, you are talking Helen,
get the fuck off my show, bitch.
I'm so over you.
I'm over you.
You need to let shit go.
My God, you are annoying.
You are so annoying and now I'mgoing to attempt to block your
fucking ass.
(16:51):
You are one of the strangestpeople I have ever met in my
entire motherfucking life.
Like you actually have mehaving more feelings for
somebody.
Yes, I am too faced.
Yes, if that makes you feelbetter, I don't know why you
come on my show, listen to myshow and then bitch to Rick and
(17:13):
bitch to other people.
I want nothing to do with you.
I have blocked you.
I have stopped talking to youbecause you are a nasty human
being.
You are angry, you cannot letthings go, you cannot forgive
people and you don't likeadmitting when you're wrong.
You asked me a question aboutTony.
I already spoke to Tony aboutit and I told you the truth.
(17:36):
I'm sorry, you're in love withTony and you don't want to deal
with the fact that he doesn't govisit you.
What do you want me to say toyou?
We can do this.
I'm angry with Helen becauseHelen cannot stop.
And Helen, I don't go and watchyour show, I don't go and
follow you around, I don't go onthe show all the time and
you're ruining things and Ithink that's what you enjoy
(18:00):
doing and I feel sad for you.
And you can call me whateverbaby.
You can call me whatever Honey.
I have been called every namein the book bitch, okay.
Wait, you left me a message,tony.
Tony Dandridge (18:13):
No, not you, Randall Rick.
This is actually somebodyelse's broadcast.
In the morning I put all mychannels on.
One of the reasons I don't puta lot of my channels on because
what happens is sometimeseverybody put a lot of channels
on because I don't want to messup.
I just don't want to getinvolved in this.
I just don't want to mess up.
Carmen Lezeth (18:29):
I didn't know what was going on.
I didn't expect what happenedto happen to me and I can
apologize everybody.
Tony Dandridge (18:34):
Wait, wait, wait , wait, wait, no, no, no, no,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,wait, wait.
I'm sorry, did I do somethingfor you?
Thank, you.
Carmen Lezeth (18:38):
You're right, I got all my.
I've been holding back on herfor a long time, but what she
did today, I would have neverbothered with her, because she
came on my show and wrote on mystream and called me a name.
I don't understand the dramainvolved with people from HAPS
and all this crap.
I really don't get it.
(18:59):
So, tony, I apologize to you,but you know what.
Tony Dandridge (19:02):
I didn't say I didn't wanna run it.
I'm telling anybody not to comeon unless they act negative
against the broadcast.
Carmen Lezeth (19:08):
And you don't think she's acting negatively
against the broadcast?
Tony Dandridge (19:11):
I think she's giving her opinion and already
knew what was gonna happen.
That's why I started singing.
Carmen Lezeth (19:15):
I like, oh, thank you, tony, here's what I'm
gonna do, because this is notwhat I want my show to be about.
Baby, as much as I want you onthe show, I don't want this
bitch and I'm calling you abitch in the way that it's meant
to be on my show.
You know what I mean.
Like, I don't want her herebecause she's a negative human
being.
This woman is upset aboutsomething that happened in March
(19:36):
when she asked us our opinionabout whether or not we thought
Tony was using her.
So that's what she's upsetabout, because me and my friend,
andrea truth or the truth?
Well, because she's in lovewith you and she wanted to know
if she should be pursuing youand we were like have you ever
met each other?
Why didn't you go to Scotland?
(19:56):
You know, I told you about inthe LinkedIn thing, you know so,
and now and she's stillbringing it up because she can't
let it go I just told you I'mhella.
I don't know why you think I'mhiding anything.
I don't know why you think I'mso shy.
I've never been shy aboutnothing.
But Tony, tony, here's what I'mgonna do.
(20:18):
You're gonna have to reallyrethink whether or not you want
to be on show, and I have torethink it too.
I don't want this.
I don't want this woman on myshow.
I don't want this drama on myshow and I am gonna get this
upset every time she comes onhere and talks bullshit, because
she is angry and she can't letthings go and she's a nasty
(20:39):
human being and I don't knowwhat her drama is.
But it's not what I want in mylife and it's not what I want
this show to be about, and I'mnot a big enough person to just
keep ignoring her because I wantto interact with people on the
show.
You have to not listen to allof that.
Now, you're right, chris.
Chris, you're right.
The problem is there's a littlebit of history here and this
(21:01):
woman is in love with Tony andshe has issues because we told
her what we thought about thesituation and you know it is
what it is.
I think some people needtherapy and they get it on
social media.
I just tried to block her, butfor some reason it's not working
.
I don't know why.
It doesn't matter.
She keeps, she's gonna keepfollowing.
(21:23):
Isn't that weird to havesomebody who just continuously
trolls, like just for attention?
That's like a weird thing.
I don't.
Rick is like I don't want anyphone calls so I'm saying
fucking nothing.
That's your whole face rightnow.
Look at here.
Here's what I feel bad about isI can't do anything to help her
(21:48):
.
I also don't like her, so and Iwant, I don't want her in my
life and so, tony, that means Idon't want you on my show.
I know that sounds horrible,but I think this is part of your
thing and you don't take astand.
I've had this conversation withyou before.
You've allowed it because Ithink you like the ego boost of
(22:10):
this woman falling around town.
Tony Dandridge (22:12):
What ego boost, what ego boost.
Carmen Lezeth (22:15):
Because someone liking you so much you're not
gonna.
You're like she's just givingher opinion.
She's not giving her opinion,she's calling me names.
Tony Dandridge (22:22):
I've seen people waiting, waiting, waiting,
waiting.
Remember, when you talk aboutgiving opinions and saying what
you want to say every time andyou don't care.
Here's the kicker, and I'vesaid this to her too.
You can't be like that oneverybody's broadcast.
What pisses me off is whenpeople come on and somebody else
is showing.
Do that shit.
I don't like that.
That's why I don't do it.
I know that and I've told her.
That's why I just sat back.
(22:42):
I'm like you know what this isgonna be on her.
You know why I'm not sayingthat?
Because I've told her stopdoing this for a year.
People don't have to believethis out there.
She's gonna keep doing like yousaid.
People have already told me shehas changed accounts.
She has done all that.
She has done all that.
Carmen Lezeth (22:54):
You know that she does it because she's in love
with you, right?
Actually, this might be areally good conversation after
all.
Go ahead, baby Rick, I'm sosorry if your phone blows up,
but you already know you needthe block.
Rick Costa (23:10):
We're good so far, so good yeah.
So people who are listening?
Who are like what the?
Tony Dandridge (23:16):
fuck is going on , what you want me to stop?
Carmen Lezeth (23:22):
I'm not asking.
Look, it feels like we don'thave a choice.
It feels like we have to havethis motherfucking conversation.
It's either that or you need toget off the show and I need to
go talk about something else.
But we're here now.
You know what I mean.
It's like you don't have.
I'm gonna go ahead and say thisLook it, I guess my question is
to you.
It's like it's not people.
(23:43):
This is Helen.
It's not people, Tony.
Tony Dandridge (23:46):
She's not the only one who does this and I'm
gonna go ahead and say this I'veseen people do this before her
and I've told them to stopacting like this before her,
Before I went through thesituation, I've seen people do
this.
Why are you talking aboutanyone else but Helen?
Because every time this happens, we don't talk about that one
person.
I tell everybody on socialmedia they need to stop doing
this.
I just talked about this andtell you it's show up in a month
(24:06):
ago.
Carmen Lezeth (24:06):
This is not a global phenomenon.
Sweetie, I know you.
Tony Dandridge (24:09):
It is, it is, it's not my life, my life right
now.
Carmen Lezeth (24:12):
This is the problem In your life no In your
life.
Tony Dandridge (24:14):
No, that I see this.
Carmen Lezeth (24:15):
This woman is the problem.
That's why I've been quiet.
Tony Dandridge (24:17):
I see this everywhere.
That's why I've been quiet.
I'm tired of telling people todo this, and people want to do
it on purpose.
Carmen Lezeth (24:21):
They want to do this.
Wait, they do this to you allthe time.
I'm confused.
Tony Dandridge (24:24):
I didn't save me .
I didn't save me.
I said I've seen this on otherbroadcasts.
They used to do this all thetime on Periscope before they
were doing it on Haps.
I know, I know, but that's thewhole other thing.
Carmen Lezeth (24:35):
That's not what this show is about.
That's what I'm trying to say.
My show is always about what'ssupposed to be I guess not today
, but it's always supposed to beabout joy and about bringing
happiness and about trying towalk through situations.
It's not about thisbullshittery, this crap.
It's her jealousy.
(24:57):
It's her needing to win and beright and not take any
responsibility.
I'm also going to put some shiton you, which is what I always
do.
It's also your responsibilitybecause you continue to allow it
to happen.
Tony Dandridge (25:12):
So I allow it to happen.
Carmen Lezeth (25:14):
Well, yeah, because instead of saying Helen,
cut the shit, and having aconversation with her, you're
like globally, I tell everybody,I tell everybody.
Tony Dandridge (25:25):
How many people are running after you and doing?
Carmen Lezeth (25:27):
this shit with other people?
What?
Tony Dandridge (25:29):
I've told her to stop doing this, in private and
in public, more than once.
Carmen Lezeth (25:34):
I've told many people that's not doing this.
She doesn't sell the people onother shows.
Tony Dandridge (25:39):
She's done this on other shows.
Yes, she's not the only one.
Carmen Lezeth (25:43):
Well, she needs some help.
So what do you think is herissue with doing this whenever
you're around?
What do you think?
Because every time you werearound before, if you came on
our show and talked on our show,then Rick would have to deal
with a whole bunch of textmessages or whatever.
He would never tell me about it, but I could always
motherfucking tell because we'dbe having our meeting and he'd
(26:06):
be all like pissed off and shit.
So here's my question what isit that you think about you?
Rick Costa (26:14):
Hey.
Carmen Lezeth (26:14):
Ash bring some joy in the room.
Tony Dandridge (26:17):
What's up, ash, how you doing.
What's up, ash, how you doing.
Carmen Lezeth (26:21):
What is it that you think is about you, that
this comes out?
What do you think is happeningthere?
Tony Dandridge (26:28):
I think it's me.
I think it's me.
Yeah, I see that Some peoplejust want to do this.
I don't think it has anythingto do with me.
People can't wait to callpeople out.
You think Helen's Bullshitery?
Carmen Lezeth (26:38):
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I want to be Kalea.
You think Helen's Bullshiteryhas nothing to do with you?
Tony Dandridge (26:47):
I've seen her do this with somebody else on that
show.
We had nothing to do with me.
I've seen it.
Carmen Lezeth (26:52):
Tony, your denial is like incredible.
Tony Dandridge (26:55):
I just told you the truth.
You don't remember it.
You don't remember it.
I saw it, I've seen it.
Carmen Lezeth (27:01):
I saw it before too, because she was mad at
what's his name and he was beingme.
That's not what we're talkingabout.
This is a whole other thing.
This is a whole other thing,but that's my thing.
Tony Dandridge (27:09):
You always talk about this.
Right now, I'm telling you,I've seen the pattern with
people no-transcript.
This is a social media.
Carmen Lezeth (27:14):
So you're saying Helen does this on other shows
all the time, so she has aproblem.
Tony Dandridge (27:19):
No, I've seen it nicely all the time.
No, no, no, no.
Carmen Lezeth (27:23):
No, because you can't just admit that she has a
problem.
Instead, you want to make it alot of people.
Tony Dandridge (27:28):
I just said.
I've told her about this morethan once.
I didn't say that.
Carmen Lezeth (27:34):
Rick, we need to.
Tony Dandridge (27:35):
That's what I'm trying to do.
No.
Rick Costa (27:36):
I know I know, I know.
Carmen Lezeth (27:39):
No, I mean, you're so right.
You know what I mean.
You know what?
Helen Rick is being quietbecause you're a fucking idiot
and you like to harass peopleand fucking send text messages
to people to hurt them.
And you want attention, bitch,I'm going to give you
motherfucking attention.
You are so evil.
You have me feeling bad forsomeone else I hated Like.
(28:04):
Now I realize why he went afteryou because you're fucking
ridiculous girl.
You need therapy.
You need some help, sister, youneed to get some help.
You are out of your fuckingmind.
You're out of your mind to befollowing people who don't want
to talk to you.
I've blocked you on everything,bitch, blocked you on
(28:28):
everything, and you still aretrying to sit here and have a
fight with people, and you knowwhat.
I'm happy because, in a way,I've needed to say this to you.
I wasn't going to fucking textyou and email you and all the
other shit that you do to people.
If you lived across the fuckingstreet, I'd walk across the
fucking street and tell youbecause you are a nasty human
(28:49):
being, nasty human being, and Iwish that you get all the help
and whatever love it is thatyou're missing in your life.
I hope you receive it, honey,because you need it.
You need someone to really loveyou, to understand what it is
to have real friendships and tohave real good people in your
life, because that's what you'remissing, baby.
(29:10):
You missing really goodfriendships, and I'm going to
tell you right now I would havebeen a good friend to you, but
you're so stupid you're missedout.
I hope, helen, that you getwhatever help you need, because
you really do need it.
You need help.
I cannot say it anymore.
Andrea said it to you, we allsaid it to you.
(29:30):
You need to get some realmotherfucking help, and your
denial and your name call isn'tgoing to help you.
You can call me whatever youwant.
No one's going to believe youNobody, nobody.
Ash says people are allowed tohave an opinion, but going into
people's lives to create dramadoesn't put light on this.
It just makes the instigatorlook immature.
Tony Dandridge (29:51):
Chris let me respond.
Carmen Lezeth (29:53):
It's a confirmation to him.
He likes that attention.
He needs to feel empty, gapinside himself, confirmation to
feel okay.
Are you, chris?
Are you talking about Tony?
She told my mix.
That's interesting, I canrespond to that.
Tony Dandridge (30:06):
I can respond to that.
Carmen Lezeth (30:08):
I don't know if she's talking about you, but it
sounds like she is talking aboutyou.
Tony Dandridge (30:12):
People are allowed to have an opinion, but
going into people's lives tocreate drama doesn't put light
on this situation.
It just makes the instigatorlook immature.
Ash, paul, that's why youshouldn't go up there and speak
like this on social media.
I addressed this on a lot ofoccasion and this one of the
things I just tried to do when Iwas on the other platform.
People told me to stop doing itbecause it wasn't working.
I have tried to stop peoplefrom going on people's
broadcasts and doing this.
(30:33):
They don't damn stop.
They do not.
They want to do what peoplethink.
They could, just say what theywant to say, do what they want
to do, speak what they want tospeak, and they don't care who
it is or when they do it.
That's a problem to me.
I want to respond to Chris.
It's not about what you need tofeel content in your own life.
Chris, I'll be honest with you.
I have content in my own lifeoff of the internet, in all
(30:56):
honesty and I'm not being funny,I'm not being sarcastic, I'm
not being arrogant there are alot of people I've known in my
life before I came on theinternet.
A lot of people.
I come up here for fun andrecreation.
I come up here to enjoy myself.
I come up here to haveconversation with folks and to
not be a stagatory in theconversation.
If people don't notice anythingon social media, people come
into conversations just to starta damn party.
(31:18):
What's up, tory?
How you doing?
Ash?
I know where you're coming from.
You're good.
I'm going to be honest with youabout that, chris.
Even when I've tried to endthings with people or
disassociate myself with people,a lot of of us do still stay
linked for some of the decentconversations that we have had.
Some of the stuff like thishappens just towards everything
off, just like what Carmen'sfeeling right now.
I don't go with the people'sbroadcasts doing this.
Carmen Lezeth (31:40):
I do not, I do not.
Rick Costa (31:42):
If I don't like somebody, I just don't go on
their broadcast.
Tony Dandridge (31:46):
It's so weird.
The kicker is it is so hard.
It is so hard for some of thesewant to be grown folks to not
go into a conversation withoutstarting shit or saying some
shit.
It's hard for people to do that.
All you got to do is watch, andI watch a lot of people's
broadcasts.
I've been watching people'sbroadcasts for the past three
years myself, and not justtalking about people that I know
(32:07):
, people that I've known, whothey know.
I'll watch and I'll listen.
All you got to do is payattention to a bunch of these
conversations.
Just watch how we twist.
People can't have decentconversations without starting a
damn argument.
It's mind blowing to me.
Leave it to the topic, Leave itto the conversation.
Move on from that instead ofbeing a stagatory in your words
or in your comments.
It's not that hard to me, butfor other people it is.
Carmen Lezeth (32:29):
I think people enjoy being able to be behind
their keyboard and being nasty.
You know what I mean, becausethere's no real responsibility.
None of these motherfuckingpeople would ever say any of
this shit to my face.
That's what I always thinkabout.
Would that person ever say shitto my face?
They wouldn't.
They wouldn't Because my hoodshit would come out.
(32:50):
You know what I mean.
But that's what trolling is,this weird, strange power behind
a keyboard to be a nasty humanbeing.
If I don't like what somebody'ssaying and somebody's like it's
happened on Ted's show, right,ted, or whatever, they'll start
talking about something and I'mlike I'm out, I just, I just
leave, I don't even say I'mleaving because I'm mad or I
(33:11):
don't like it.
I'm just, I'm out, I'm out.
Tony Dandridge (33:15):
I just don't want you to know If I don't like
the show.
I don't want you to know If Idon't like it, I don't even
comment on it.
But people can't do that.
They cannot do that.
Carmen Lezeth (33:24):
They don't entertain crazy encounters.
No, then don't entertain.
You're right, chris.
Ashley the greed if I don'tlike someone, I don't want to be
around them and I'm not goingto demean myself by acting up.
Thank you, thank you, go ahead,girl.
Melanie said does anyone watchTV?
Not like the program and yellat the TV instead of changing
the channel?
Just curious, melanie, that wasgood.
(33:44):
Just change the channel rightInstead of screaming.
I like that, it's actuallyreally good.
Chris just said just food forthought.
Slow down, pray to God forclarity.
You can eliminate some of this.
No, you're absolutely right.
You know what I got upset and Ithink it's because it's been a
(34:06):
long time coming.
What's been really good is thatperson hasn't been coming on my
show.
I'm sure they've been watchingit because you know this is what
some weird people do.
But you know it's been fine.
I think this was kind of I hadto say what I had to say.
I'm kind of glad I did Like Igot it out of my system.
But you're absolutely right, Iwish I was kind of bigger than
(34:28):
that ignoring, but it's reallyhard to like.
Either I'm going to ignoreeveryone in the chat or I'm
going to be talking to everybodyin the chat, right?
And Rick did a really good jobof teaching me to talk to people
in the chat, so I kind of hadto address that.
I have people blocked all overon all my things, so I guess
(34:52):
that person was able to come onbecause Tony was connected to
that.
Tony Dandridge (34:56):
I have my, I have my channels on, so that's
my fault.
So I can apologize to everybodyelse.
It's not your fault, I willtell you, I got you.
Let me tell you this you cantake the channel, the screen, so
you ain't got to see it likethat, and it can be backstage
and not up in front of everybody.
Carmen Lezeth (35:09):
No, because I want to have my channel.
Tony Dandridge (35:12):
That's why I used to keep mine on.
I agree, that's why I used tokeep mine on.
Carmen Lezeth (35:16):
I'm not going to do that.
All these other good people aregiving me spirit at Chris and
Ash and Melanie, and there werea couple of other people who are
giving like beautiful,uplifting things that are
reminding me, that are keepingme in a better space, and
Cynthia you know what I mean.
So, no, we have a lot.
This is the highest Seeswearing and yelling.
You can't do so many viewers.
Rick Costa (35:42):
And I can't get the Maya Angelou quote out of my
head when someone shows you whothey are.
Carmen Lezeth (35:50):
Believe them.
Believe them, baby, whensomeone shows you who they are.
Believe them the demo plays onyour luck.
Whatever it is, he will marchahead, Just know.
Tony Dandridge (36:01):
I try to behave on Carmen's show for everybody.
For those that don't know, I dotry to behave up here, but I
had to go get my beer.
Carmen Lezeth (36:08):
You can have your beer, because I want a beer
right now too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's okay with you drinking.
What wasn't good with Tony's todo back in the day was he would
be full.
He would eat like fried chickenthere it is and then he'd be
like flossing.
And I was like okay, and he'dbe on other people's show.
So it was fine.
But I was like please don't,please don't, yes you did.
Rick Costa (36:32):
That's what I wanted to award, though.
Carmen Lezeth (36:35):
Yeah, but we got you.
You save girl, you save.
Look at so much Cheers.
I'm not being angry because Ithink I had a right to be angry.
I do apologize for anyone'sears who might have not liked
some of the verbiage I used whenI come from.
So yes.
Thank you for all of you whohave been here.
Tony Dandridge (36:58):
Maybe we'll get a sponsorship and I could stay
on the show, somebody.
All about enjoy.
Rick Costa (37:08):
Hornets nest.
What happens?
Don't be poking on hornets nestif you don't want.
Tony Dandridge (37:15):
I do want to throw this out there for people
in social media you got to stayaway from being a staggatorean
conversations.
I really do try my best to livethat way.
When I do broadcast, it's crazyas I am, as reckless as I am,
and even with the people thatabroad cancer I do that.
Try to come on there and beinga staggatorean.
What you want to do is becontributory to the conversation
Over in staggatory to aconversation.
(37:37):
If you remember that, you'llsee social media in a much
better life and how it is beingstill type, especially on the
news in the people's office.
Carmen Lezeth (37:45):
Melannie said, there is someone who doesn't
want me, doesn't want mefollowing them, yet they follow
me on another point, which is Ireally use Hmm, exactly see me.
Tony Dandridge (37:54):
All about the guys.
Carmen Lezeth (38:00):
Don't encourage him.
Look, here's a thing.
I think it was Chris, he saidit earlier.
Look at, there's always gonnabe trolls.
That's not what this.
I want to be really clear.
This is not some random troll.
This is a long-standing,ridiculous situation with
someone who is connected to Tonyand they've never been able to
(38:24):
come on the show because Iblocked them a long time ago and
they hate me because I toldthem what I thought about their
relation, her relationship withTony, whatever.
So this isn't just a troll.
This is someone who you know,if anything, you know, if you're
religious at all, whatever youbelieve in.
(38:45):
I'm sending them joy and hope.
I mean I'm not cussed aroundbecause she needed to be cussed
out and I needed to let that out, but I still praying for her.
I still wish her the well.
I told I, rick, have I ever oncewished ill will on that woman?
Never.
I always want her to find herway and To figure it out.
(39:05):
And the anger towards me?
Here's the irony the anger shehas towards me and Andrea, which
somehow Andrea was thrown intothis, by the way and Ray, who
doesn't know her from a hole inthe wall.
But the reason why she's angryis we told her a truth that she
didn't want to hear, but sheasked us about it.
So we said the truth, and it'sbeen months.
(39:26):
It's been when was it, rickMarch?
Rick Costa (39:30):
It's been a while yeah.
Carmen Lezeth (39:31):
I haven't talked to her since, but she ain't.
You know.
This is someone who needsprayers and love and and, and,
and joy, and Good juju orwhatever you call it.
You know what I mean like good,beautiful spirits.
I wish her well, whatever.
Rick Costa (39:56):
But I guarantee you, when you get Out of your life,
your life is gonna be so muchbetter, and I had to learn that
the hard way.
Carmen Lezeth (40:03):
Oh, yes, you did.
I'm glad you learned it though.
Rick Costa (40:06):
So yeah.
Carmen Lezeth (40:08):
Yeah, oh my god, I'm already exhausted.
Look at we wasted 50.
Rick Costa (40:11):
I'm trying to bring what a handle this better.
Carmen Lezeth (40:14):
Who.
Rick Costa (40:15):
Chandler, bring Chandler bang.
Carmen Lezeth (40:16):
Yeah, I, you know , I didn't really want.
Oh my god, I have too many textmessages.
Rick Costa (40:25):
Girl call me late explain.
Carmen Lezeth (40:29):
Wait, you know it's a funny is I had an agent
reach out to me while I was away, which is very interesting.
So I hope he's not watching theshow, but I have a feeling he
is watching the show because hewas interested in and having a
conversation with me, and so inmy head a part of me is like so
well, now you can see the fullflavor of All About the Joy, all
the side.
Rick Costa (40:57):
I think Chandler Chandler would have been like go
away.
Carmen Lezeth (41:01):
I Didn't.
You know, I did not.
Not regularly, but I saw a lotof episodes, so I mean yeah, I
(41:25):
mean I, of course, we all knowwho friends are or whatever, and
I think what's really cool isthe newer generation, like my,
my niece, Juliana.
She's obsessed with friends.
So, you know, 15 years old,they all love that show.
And, Cynthia, I knew you wouldlove that show.
It's not that I didn't lovethis show, I just.
I think I was more of aSeinfeld person, you know, but
it was always must see what was.
It was like Thursday nights orsomething.
Tony Dandridge (41:49):
And I was going to work doing those hours on.
During the 90s I was at work.
Carmen Lezeth (41:52):
Oh, you worked at night back then.
Wow, is that when you were inthe military?
Tony Dandridge (41:57):
When I started in the military, when I used to
work at the door track inAlabama we always work like a
swing schedule it was over liketwo-thirds of the bin that right
right, right right.
So I was always working.
That was Sunday, and Thursdaywas my night off, and Friday,
saturday for the busy nights.
Carmen Lezeth (42:11):
So I think the reason why people this is just
my opinion, because, you know,even I felt bad I think it's
because he had so many struggleswith his alcohol and drug
addiction.
We wanted him to win.
Yes, you know what I mean Like,and I think, no matter what
happened or why he passed awayright when they do the talks, it
(42:32):
doesn't matter.
I think there's a part of usthat always wants to see the
person who's trying so hard tobeat something.
It's a question and so for himto pass away.
Rick Costa (42:46):
Is he was saying it was hard for him to try to watch
the show because he could justlook and see like, oh, I was
doing alcohol, then I was doingpills.
Then by how skinny he was, byhow not skinny he was, it was
like wow.
But, yeah and he's only a yearolder than me.
That's the part that freaks meout.
When somebody guys close to myage, I'm like whoa.
Carmen Lezeth (43:07):
Yeah, I just felt bad.
I was shocked at how manypeople like I think, what what
Tony just said?
I felt bad, that people were so, so many people were impacted
by his death, but it's.
Rick Costa (43:18):
International like.
Carmen Lezeth (43:19):
I didn't know that.
Rick Costa (43:21):
I watched the movie with him and Selma Hayek fools
rush in it.
Oh yeah, yeah, that was a goodmovie.
Carmen Lezeth (43:27):
That's a good one .
That's a cute romantic comedy.
Tony Dandridge (43:31):
Anyway, I didn't feel the impact everybody else
did, but I understand thisarresting piece to heaven, all
honesty.
Carmen Lezeth (43:36):
Yeah, is there any addiction that?
Do any of you have an addictionthat you want to share, like I
have an addiction to I won't liechocolate cake.
Okay, I don't mean an addictionlike him, but I was just saying
like it was so interesting, Istarted thinking about all the
(43:56):
things.
Like I'm not, I don't have avery Addictive personality, but
I can't resist certain things,is there something you have an
addiction to, in a light-heartedway, you know?
Rick Costa (44:06):
I have a hard time.
Cookies for me.
Carmen Lezeth (44:10):
Chocolate really from a certain place, or any
chocolate chip cookie any I meanI don't matter.
Someone said to me do youprefer cupcakes or slice?
Rick Costa (44:21):
I'm like it doesn't matter as long as the word cake
is in there, we're good there,all the matters.
Carmen Lezeth (44:26):
What were you saying?
One, two, three, four, what areyour addictions?
Tony Dandridge (44:30):
Money, food, sex , smoking, wait, all travel it
yes.
Carmen Lezeth (44:35):
Money.
You're addicted to money.
Tony Dandridge (44:37):
I don't like being broke.
I've been broken more than oneoccasion.
It is, it's.
It's when you don't worry aboutit and you have a situation
where you did it and nobody willhelp you.
It would change you, so for me,I got Go make money.
Carmen Lezeth (44:51):
Okay.
Tony Dandridge (44:52):
Even when I'm at right now, I'm at a conference.
I'm at a conference for theunion on my job and and it's
kind of covered I wasn't goingto come.
I wasn't gonna be able to comeif it wasn't covered.
So I'm up here, we're teachingeach other, we're helping each
other.
This is actually fun.
When I go to work, I normallywork overtime.
I've had a lot of emergenciesin my life to where the first
thing people would tell you isyou should have planned better
(45:14):
or you should have saved up more.
So my focus and I will say it'slike an addiction.
You got to focus on that.
Now, if I'm wrong on thataspect, let me go ahead and
throw out there.
I got a heavy addiction tosugar.
I will eat any and every typeof candy Well, I ain't gonna say
any and every type, but I lovemy hot tamales, my Mike and Iks,
my red hot, my lemon heads,cherry heads the apple heads,
the cherry ones.
Carmen Lezeth (45:35):
When he said hot tamales, I didn't think he meant
the candy.
Rick Costa (45:37):
Yeah, I was taking a second to say that.
I got confused.
Carmen Lezeth (45:40):
Confusion.
You look at that.
Rick Costa (45:42):
You love Halloween, then Halloween's your favorite.
Tony Dandridge (45:45):
When I get the candy out at the door.
I will swap candy with the kids.
They'll be like trick or treat.
I'm like bitch, I'm looking forthis.
Rick Costa (45:51):
This is what I got.
Carmen Lezeth (45:52):
Wow.
Tony Dandridge (45:53):
You know what we ?
Rick Costa (45:53):
should have this one that is that's just wrong.
Tony Dandridge (45:58):
No, it isn't.
They have fun.
They don't want chocolate.
Rick Costa (46:01):
Kids can negotiate.
Carmen Lezeth (46:03):
Yes, I also sent you guys a message about.
You know we're into the lasttwo months of the year, right?
So it's November, december andI was wondering what do you want
to accomplish in the next twomonths?
Rick Costa (46:20):
Just to get my finances more in order than it
is, and I'm slowly but surelyworking on it.
Carmen Lezeth (46:25):
So that's cool.
Chris said sugar.
I did that for a few years.
I'm like oh, you quit sugar,that's hard.
Quitting sugar is hard.
Tony Dandridge (46:34):
I actually did a fast on myself one year for
Lent and because I'm one ofthese Catholic, so we do Lent, I
quit every sugar habit I had.
I mean it's candy gum, tea,sweet foods, cold cereal.
I just didn't do it for 45 days.
Rick Costa (46:51):
When I was sick when I was sick last week I had no
appetite, and when I don't havean appetite, I just simply won't
eat.
I didn't eat for five days andI lost 10 pounds.
Carmen Lezeth (47:00):
Yeah, but that's not good way to lose weight.
Oh, I know, I know that that'sa bad thing, being sick and
losing weight is not a wish foranybody.
Rick Costa (47:09):
Yeah, I don't even try to.
Carmen Lezeth (47:11):
I don't try to eliminate anything Like.
I'm never gonna not eat sugar.
I can't even think about that.
Tony Dandridge (47:19):
Take a break, it'll help you.
It will do something.
When I did a detox, the firstthing- I've never done a diet in
my life.
I know, but if you ever do adetox, one of the first thing
they'll tell you is avoid sugar.
It's five different types ofsugar.
I thought it was only four.
I didn't even know there's fivedifferent types of sugar.
I was like okay.
Carmen Lezeth (47:35):
The only time I stopped eating something was
when I had to have the firstcolonoscopy.
That was the only time I everdid anything like where you have
to-.
Tony Dandridge (47:43):
Save that conversation I had to have a lot
to eat.
I know I'm just saying, but Idon't have a thing, One of the
worst times, because I couldn'teat like I wanted to.
I was losing my mind.
Rick Costa (47:53):
We were all cracking on Tony.
I remember that.
Carmen Lezeth (47:58):
Well, I don't remember this.
He did it on Haps.
Rick Costa (48:01):
They must have been on Haps, yeah.
Tony Dandridge (48:03):
Really, I think we might have been on Haps.
Yeah, I was on going through itand they were like what's going
on?
I said I can't eat.
They told me don't go to work.
I had this big inch jug full ofthat fluid.
I'm like okay, they said.
I said should I go to work?
They said no, don't go to work.
I said okay.
So I'm sitting here thinkingI'll be all right.
Carmen Lezeth (48:20):
Yeah, no, it is, you are.
Tony Dandridge (48:22):
I actually told them.
I'm so mad that, as much as Iwas in the bathroom, I didn't
leave you two days later with abody like Captain America.
I said this is bullshit, ain'tno way to have a body like that
for this much, and I don't havea six-pack.
Looking like Lex Luga, I waslike this is I was pissed, but I
couldn't, and all you could dowas drink that fluid.
So then I finally did have that.
(48:43):
I'm gonna tell you this story.
This is gonna be funny, I don'tcare.
I went to the doctor and I'msitting here like waiting over
there, and the girl said youhave no idea.
So they told me to put the roadbar.
I'm already mad.
I got to wear a robe, causeeverybody know where the
hospital road is.
It's open in the back and Itold them y'all better hurry up,
because I'm only I'm clenchingand I don't know how long this
(49:04):
is gonna be, for you gotta getone of them absorbing pads over
there.
You better get one of themabsorbing pads over there,
because when I go to sleep Iwon't be tense, you'll be fine,
I'll worry about it.
So I'm laying on the table andI'm looking around.
Right, that is it.
What's wrong with you?
I said I'm counting all youmotherfuckers, cause if I wake
up and I don't feel right, Iwant to know who the hell I got
to go.
Carmen Lezeth (49:23):
Who's ass do I have to pick Like literally?
Rick Costa (49:29):
Chris said it's hard but it was weird.
Carmen Lezeth (49:31):
I started it due to another indulgement that I
stopped.
I shifted, but then I realizedand stopped the alternative.
No listen, I propped to you onthe sugar thing.
I have other friends who'vestopped sugar and dairy,
whatever.
I've just never done any of thethings and now that I'm older
I'm like I'm not gonna, I'mnever gonna do it unless a
doctor tells me this moviecalled what to health.
Tony Dandridge (49:53):
I stopped drinking milk after watching
what to health.
Carmen Lezeth (49:56):
I don't.
I'm not a big milk drinker.
I drink almond milk.
I used to be Like in my cereal,whatever, but I don't really.
I've never been a big milkperson.
Although, don't give me fakeice cream, Like I'm gonna eat
ice cream.
I want regular ice cream.
You know what I mean, but Idon't want to be good.
Right, right right.
Rick Costa (50:10):
I remember the question now, Is there anything?
Any new update as far asSagaftra?
Carmen Lezeth (50:16):
They're still negotiating.
They had a really goodconversation, so we get
notifications every day fromFran Dresser and from the SAG
committee telling us wherethey're at.
So they still haven't finalizedanything, but hopefully they're
gonna come.
I feel like it's close.
It seems like the stickingconversation right now is about
(50:37):
AI.
That's what my gut says and thestuff that I was reading.
But I feel like we're so closeand I really hope that the
strike is over with.
So many people have been out ofwork.
It's not just the actors but,yes, all of these actors have
been out of work, but it's allthe crews and all the producers
and it goes all the way down.
It hits marketing, it hits allthe restaurants when you go film
(51:00):
somewhere.
So it really is, I think,starting to affect people.
So I hope you know, woo-hoo,hope and pray that this happens,
hopefully soon.
I'm feeling it.
I'm feeling it.
I want it to be.
You know what I mean?
I wanted to read one thing thatI got was interesting because
and then we're gonna stop it.
So I read this in the paperthis morning On Sunday, gary
(51:24):
Hobish, 70, collapsed during aweekly swing dance gathering in
Golden Gate Park here inNorthern California.
His friend, tim O'Brien, racedto the nearby D Young Museum in
search of a defibrillator,pleading with a staff member to
let him use the lifesavingdevice.
The staffer checked with hisboss and delivered a firm answer
(51:50):
the defibrillator was not toleave the building.
Mr O'Brien returnedempty-handed and Mr Hobish died.
So this museum is getting a lotof backlash.
It's called D Young Museum.
Rick Costa (52:07):
It's about to become the old museum, Old museum, old
ass museum right.
Carmen Lezeth (52:11):
I was shocked that the staff person went and
asked somebody if they could useit Like don't you think that's
weird?
But I read that because I thinkit's kind of a microcosm of
what I think our country is inright now.
We're in a really weird place,but imagine your grandfather,
your father, your brother,whatever it is, 70 years old,
(52:35):
died because somebody wouldn'thelp him.
Rick Costa (52:40):
Yeah, isn't that weird, that's true.
But if the owner was offsitethey would have been like, yeah,
go ahead.
Carmen Lezeth (52:47):
It doesn't even make any sense to me.
Was the staff person young anddidn't know?
To me it doesn't matter.
I don't know how young couldyou be working at a museum?
Let's say you're 18.
Let's just.
I'm sure they weren't, butlet's say you're 18.
Have we gotten to a place inour lives that someone is asking
for a defibrillator?
That means somebody is having aheart moment.
(53:11):
They are about to die, Like, Idon't care how old you are, you
save a person's life.
Yes, Chris, I think we're in abad place and I think I wanted
to read that.
To bring that up.
Tony Dandridge (53:24):
Chris is correct .
Now, the thing with thedefibrillators is you have to be
certified to use them.
Carmen Lezeth (53:30):
No, the whole point of the defibrillator is
that they're easy enough to helpanyone, so they're always
around.
Tony Dandridge (53:36):
You gotta be certified to use them.
But you gotta be certified touse them.
I gotta get training on thearea.
Carmen Lezeth (53:40):
If somebody came to me and asked for a
defibrillator.
I would give it to them to tryto help.
Tony Dandridge (53:45):
Because what's the worst?
Carmen Lezeth (53:46):
thing that can happen the person could die.
Rick Costa (53:49):
So I don't have to be in a state Okay.
Carmen Lezeth (53:52):
But Tony, do you see?
Okay?
But here's my point.
You're doing exactly what I'mafraid of.
I don't wanna get sued, so I'mnot gonna try to help someone.
Tony Dandridge (54:02):
I'm with you.
You can do CPR without thedefibrillator.
Carmen Lezeth (54:06):
No, the reason why we have a defibrillator is
so that we can try to helpsomeone who's having a heart
issue.
That's the whole point ofhaving them around.
Tony Dandridge (54:12):
I understand.
Carmen Lezeth (54:14):
They're everywhere.
You know what I mean.
Like that's the whole point.
Should you know how to use one?
Yes, should you?
Right, the person went to askfor one because he knew his
friend was dying.
Yeah, here's my thing.
Rick Costa (54:27):
If I get fired for saving somebody's life, then
fire me.
Carmen Lezeth (54:30):
Yeah, exactly, if I'm having a heart issue or you
think I'm dying, I want you todo everything you can to try to
save me.
Okay, and I'll put it out therein public.
I will not sue you if I die.
Rick Costa (54:42):
I don't know.
We have it on record.
Carmen Lezeth (54:47):
We have it on record.
Now I just think we're in a badplace.
I remember when we valued lifeso much that you wouldn't
question something or wewouldn't even be having an
argument.
Can you?
Could you have to?
Don't you have to be certified?
The whole reason whydefibrillators are around us
because they're so easy to use.
(55:07):
Right?
And, by the way, doing CPR isvery different now than when we
were growing up, where you werebreathing in people's mouths,
Like I don't think people havebeen certified in a long time.
You don't do that anymore,right?
You just do the compressions onthe chest.
You do not breathe in someone'smouth anymore.
Go ahead, you don't breathe inpeople's mouth anymore.
Tony Dandridge (55:28):
You get a face mask thing.
I just had a training issue.
Carmen Lezeth (55:32):
I know, I know.
But, tony, if me and you wereout hanging out, do you have a
face mask to put on me?
That's what I'm saying.
Rick Costa (55:38):
At least we're defibrillating and don't break
nobody's ribs either.
Carmen Lezeth (55:42):
Right, you don't break anybody's ribs Just
watching every episode ofemergency qualify me too.
Rick Costa (55:47):
Yes, I certify you right now.
Tony Dandridge (55:50):
If it does, tell me.
If it does.
Carmen Lezeth (55:51):
I watch emergency e-ar cold red, all of that mess
traffic dog and then you seenothing else Is the emergency
keeping on anymore yeah, in theold TV channel.
Tony Dandridge (55:59):
Yeah, what's that me?
Rick Costa (56:00):
too, Cynthia thank you.
Carmen Lezeth (56:02):
Cynthia works in a hospital.
Correct compression only,exactly, yes, yeah, because now
that you don't put your mouth toanother person's mouth anymore.
Anyways, I just wanted tomention that, like, I just feel
like we're in a really weirdplace and there's so much hate
and anger and I just exhibitedall of mine in the beginning of
(56:23):
this podcast, so clearly, we allhave a lot of work to do with
our own selves as well.
I'm going to say goodnight toeveryone.
Can you hear us?
Tony Dandridge (56:33):
Yes, my earpods died.
Oh yeah, I'm here.
Carmen Lezeth (56:36):
Okay, all right.
Thank you everyone for stoppingby to a fantastic and crazy
show.
Tony Dandridge (56:43):
I got it Great numbers, great numbers.
Carmen Lezeth (56:48):
You know what?
I'm just going to start thisshow off every week screaming at
somebody.
I guess I should just startyelling and screaming and, like
you know, just getting reallygang and ghetto-fied or whatever
, like back in the day and getour numbers up and look at
people who are still here.
So that's good.
It's really weird.
Thank you for stopping by.
I really appreciate you all.
(57:08):
I miss you and, yeah, we'll doit again next week.
Bye everyone, thank you.
Rick Costa (57:14):
Good night.
Carmen Lezeth (57:15):
Good night.
Good night, thanks for stoppingby.
All about the joy Be better andstay beautiful folks have a
sweet day.
Hi everybody, welcome to All About The Joy.
I'm so glad to be back.
Hi, Rick Costa, I missed you.
Rick Costa (00:06):
Hola, Mr.
Carmen Lezeth (00:07):
Tony, Welcome.
Welcome to the show Officially.
So glad to have you here.
You know Ted Hick sent me atext today that he's upset that
you're moonlighting on all of us.
Officially, Tony will be on theshow every.
Did we say fourth Thursday ofthe month?
Right, okay, wait, all right.
(00:30):
So I'm a little off because Iwas out last week and let me
just tell everybody where I was.
I went home to Patty Ann Wernig,I guess is her married name,
but I've always known her asPatty Ann Martin passed away.
Mary Ann Joann's older sistertheir parents are my godparents.
I grew up with them.
They're my family.
I love them.
(00:51):
And she passed away unexpectedlyand so I went home last week
and I have to say one of themost amazing things that
happened was they had thememorial service.
Then afterwards they, they hadthis hall that they rented out
and there was all this food, andthen there was a bar and there
was this whole celebration ofher life, some like drinking
(01:11):
wine, coolers or whatever.
And at one point I see all thenieces and nephews and they're
all singing and they're justsinging all these old school
songs that were Patty'sfavorites, right.
At one point I looked over andI saw this other generation of
kids just absolutely singing andenjoying and loving on all this
old school music from our dayin honor of their auntie, and it
(01:34):
was like it almost felt likesurreal in a way, and so I
really loved seeing everyone andI want to give a shout out to
all the kids.
But I want to give a shout outto a few people.
So, Kasey Stratton, I knowyou're watching, so thank you, I
miss you, sweet love.
And then there's Brendan,Samantha, Ari, Kirsten, Jonathan
(01:55):
Trevor I want to say to Lindaand Lisa and Lori these are
people watch a show and I didn'tknow that and Sally High, and
then, of course, to Greg andRicky and Mary and Jo-ann.
So I just want to give my loveto all of them.
It was nice to be home withfamily.
By the way, I'm not from NewHampshire, but when I say home,
I mean with people you love.
You know what I mean Like.
(02:16):
So it was nice to be around allthem.
So, yeah, okay.
So now what I would like to do,which I was going to do first,
but you know you were so busy.
I wanted to talk to Tony.
I know people have seen you onthe show, but we've never kind
of talked about where you'refrom, what you do, what you love
.
So why don't you tell us alittle bit about yourself?
Tony Dandridge (02:39):
I going to preface this by telling you that
you and I did this two yearsago and I know you can't find it
, so I don't mind runningthrough it again.
Carmen Lezeth (02:48):
What are we talking about?
This is a whole of the group ofpeople I know it is fun, I'm
going to do that.
Tony Dandridge (02:53):
No, I'm gonna do that for you because this is
fun.
For those of you out there whodo not know me, I am a retired
Air National Guardsman.
I was an aircraft mechanic on F16s in the military for 20
years.
I'm currently a civil serviceaircraft mechanic.
I work on F 15s as a civiliannot military, but as a civilian
on the military installation.
So a lot of times when I try toreserve comments or reserve
(03:14):
actions because of where I'm atin life compared to where I
could be if I didn't do right inthe first damn place, some of
you may want to follow thatexample.
Recently divorced, as ofDecember last year, I'm a father
of two boys and a stepfather ofa stepdaughter my stepdaughter.
Carmen Lezeth (03:28):
Okay, back up right there, Back up right there
.
So, rick, the other day Tonyand I were talking and he said
he had the only kid I knew isJason.
How old is Jason, jason's howold?
11?
9?
Tony Dandridge (03:43):
9.
Carmen Lezeth (03:45):
9.
Okay, and he's talking about hehad a.
Did you know?
He had another son, he had twoother children.
Rick Costa (03:52):
I know about the other son that was living with
him for a while.
Carmen Lezeth (03:56):
He said that I should have known.
That he told me before.
I do not remember this at all.
I would have remembered.
That would have made you a muchmore substantive human being to
me.
Tony Dandridge (04:06):
You know, you forgot what you did I did not
know this.
Carmen Lezeth (04:12):
Okay, anyways, go ahead.
This is gonna last 10 weeks.
If you're watching, you canhave your man back she ain't
ready she ain't ready.
Tony Dandridge (04:22):
She ain't ready.
Carmen Lezeth (04:24):
I am not ready for this mess.
No, Anyways.
Okay, so you have three, kidsthree.
Tony Dandridge (04:31):
I have a stepdaughter is 25.
She just had a baby, so I'm astepgrandfather as well.
My oldest son is yeah, myoldest son is 22.
He's a college graduate.
He graduated the filmproduction about two years ago.
My baby boy is nine.
Carmen Lezeth (04:46):
Wow, well, congratulations on being a
granddad.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Rick Costa (04:51):
So you're the two new children I knew nothing
about, so did it make you feelold when you found out to your
grandpa?
Do you feel older?
Tony Dandridge (05:03):
At my age.
Technically, no, it is a trip,it is.
It is a trip realizing that I'msomewhat of and I say somewhat
of a grandfather, because sheknows her real dad and he's
there.
I was just a stepfather, so Iwould say I got a stepgrandbaby.
I don't try to jump in, but shedid come by, I did see him a
little bit and you know, thefamily's there.
I'm gonna be there regardless.
So that's just how we're doing.
(05:24):
So we keep it, we keep it close, we keep it tight and she's
always been appreciative of meso I'm always gonna look out for
her.
You know what I mean.
Carmen Lezeth (05:31):
Right.
Rick Costa (05:32):
So you've been.
Carmen Lezeth (05:33):
I didn't know you were divorced almost a year ago
.
Tony Dandridge (05:36):
Okay, I knew you were in the process.
I was in the process two yearsago.
We got finalized last year andit's been messing me up.
I'm not gonna lie.
You know I tell people a lot,yeah done, yes finalized, but
I'll be damned if it didn't havean impact.
I'll be damned if it didn'tbother me.
I wouldn't be honest if Ididn't say that it had me messed
(05:56):
up up here.
I got to change my mindset backto not being married anymore.
It takes a lot to put your mindthere in the first place,
especially when you want to bethere.
So when it's over, it kind ofthrows you backwards and for a
lot of people who have beendivorced, I understand what they
went through.
Now, until you go through this,you can't relate and I'll tell
anybody that this was when youwant to be there and it doesn't
(06:17):
work.
This is deeper than losing thejob.
This is deeper than I want tosay losing personal possessions.
You actually do kind of losesomebody in your life and what
you had and what you established, what you put down, all of that
.
Okay, can I ask you a question?
Carmen Lezeth (06:31):
Is this because you're still in love with your
ex-wife, or you're just sayingmarriage as an institution you
liked?
Or is it the person you'remissing, or is that too personal
?
I don't know.
Tony Dandridge (06:43):
It's a little bit of all of it.
I'll be damned if it's a littlebit of all of it.
Rick Costa (06:47):
They used to.
They become a part of youridentity and it's been like that
for so long that it's like aparty you feel like missing now.
And when you have kids on topof that, then that's even more
of a connection which can nevergo away.
Like if you don't have kids,like you didn't have kids,
carmen, so for you you should belike cut off or done, but when
you got kids, there is nocutting off the connection.
Tony Dandridge (07:09):
That's the best way for me to describe it to a
lot of people and see, I seewhat you're saying, technically
and biologically, hisgrandfather still exists and his
grandfather is still there.
That's why I say stepgrandfather on purpose, I'm not
going to step on her dad.
I never tried to do that everand he knows that Me.
I'm actually cool from that,because some dudes come in and
be like you, ain't the father?
(07:29):
No more.
As my baby I never did anything.
I hate when dudes do that shit,I can't step in.
It's blatantly disrespectful tobe parent who is still in the
life and as somebody who is amind game on the kids.
You don't just spend thebiological parents when they're
(07:51):
still around, even if they go onfor a minute and they come
through.
When her dad will come around,I'm like I'll take you to him,
there ain't no problem.
And he already knew he hadreservations about me and I
don't blame him.
I don't because you don't trustnobody around your child.
You ain't supposed to.
But I was always like you'llsee over time it's not a problem
.
Her family was kind of in butas they grew to know me and they
saw how comfortable she was andthey realized I wasn't the
(08:11):
issue.
They don't have a problem withme.
That's the best thing about it.
Carmen Lezeth (08:15):
So Cynthia said I understand, but it's still your
grandbaby.
And then Chris just said andour spirit seeks for that
perfect love that God showed usfrom our beginning.
It's devastating to be hurt.
That's fair.
That's fair.
Tony Dandridge (08:30):
You will realize people that you've heard over
time when you go throughsomething like this.
I've actually apologized topeople for ways that I've been
based on what I was goingthrough, how much of an effect
they had on me.
I admit that this was.
I don't wish this on anybody.
Carmen Lezeth (08:47):
I guess I'm still trying to understand.
And again, I mean, rick, you'reright, I don't have children.
I also think it's I don't have.
There was no anger in ourdivorce.
It was kind of like we couldjust tell it was done.
You know what I mean.
So we both needed to move away.
So it was a little bitdifferent.
I guess my question is and thisagain anything you don't want
(09:10):
to talk about, you don't have totalk about and we can just cut
it off.
But my question is are youstill in love with your ex-wife
or is it the institution ofmarriage that you're talking
about?
You said it's a little bit ofall of it, but it sounds like I
mean we're done.
Tony Dandridge (09:27):
I'll be honest, we're done.
Carmen Lezeth (09:29):
Okay, we're gonna be there.
Tony Dandridge (09:30):
We're gonna be there for our son, but we're
done.
Am I gonna lie and be like I'mnot gonna have an issue?
She moved on.
I'm not gonna lie like that.
I can't, because somebody-.
Carmen Lezeth (09:41):
Are you moving on ?
Are you moving on Like?
Are you dating?
Are you I'm not doing anything.
Tony Dandridge (09:47):
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not going anywhere.
All I do is go to work, and Idon't feel like it.
I really don't.
Carmen Lezeth (09:51):
That was my question.
Are you able to move on andthink about dating other people?
Yes, okay, okay, I'm justtrying to understand where your
head's at when it comes to yourex-wife.
Tony Dandridge (10:04):
Because what was ?
Carmen Lezeth (10:05):
coming across was that you were still in love
with her.
But it's good that you said no,we're done, we're done.
Tony Dandridge (10:11):
I could tell you that I meant what I did when I
married her and that's the partI got to get over.
So for people out there whohave any confusion, let me be
clear.
When I went to go, say I do, Imeant that shit.
When I went to work and camehome and had nothing to worry
about, I meant that shit.
Carmen Lezeth (10:27):
We can change the subject.
Well, I got along with no, no,no, come on.
I didn't mean to get into this.
I was just part of getting toknow you.
But we can move into the wholeChandler Bing Friends situation
If we'd like.
Rick Costa (10:40):
Random friends.
Come on, come on.
Carmen Lezeth (10:41):
You can ask me.
Hi Random Rick, how are you?
You can ask no, I think it wasinteresting because, no, I just
know that Carmen knows all aboutyour situation.
This is such BS and it's notcool.
What?
Tony Dandridge (10:56):
Look, I'm not busted at all.
I'm not busted at all.
Carmen, you can keep asking.
Carmen Lezeth (11:02):
I'm confused.
What is happening?
I know your situation, boy.
This is one of the reasons whyI didn't want you on this show,
right?
It's because all the peopleyou've been doing with you that
seem to always have negativeissues or whatever, so I don't
even know what to say now.
We don't change the subject,because I am not in the mood.
(11:23):
Oh no, no.
No, I do have to because myshow isn't going to be a rehash
of crap from people who are justso silly, do you?
Rick Costa (11:32):
want to hear about how somebody flirted with me on
the phone.
Carmen Lezeth (11:36):
Who flirted with you on the phone.
You made it from work Work.
Okay, wait.
Will you want a zoom call orwould you want a phone call?
Rick Costa (11:45):
No, no, no, no, it was a call.
It was a call, yeah.
So our company moved buildingsand this new city is called
Mount Dora.
So I have to call all thesepeople and say we've moved the
dresses.
Can you update your system?
Blah, blah, blah.
Carmen Lezeth (11:59):
Right.
Rick Costa (12:00):
And so this one girl , she just seemed really
friendly, as it is anyway.
So I was like I'll give back toyou what you give back to me.
And then so I'm telling herMount Dora.
I was like Dora, like D-O-R-A,like Dora the Explorer, and she
goes oh, I was just thinkingabout that, that's so funny.
I was like I know, I feel likesaying I should say something in
Spanish.
Can you say blah, blah, blah?
She says can you go ahead andsay something in Spanish?
(12:23):
I said oh, okay.
Carmen Lezeth (12:25):
Wait a minute.
Okay, I'm still trying tofigure out what's going on here.
It was weird.
Was it weird or were youinterested?
I mean?
Rick Costa (12:34):
it's not like anything will happen.
I don't know.
It's a phone call, I mean comeon.
Tony Dandridge (12:37):
It's from.
Carmen Lezeth (12:37):
Florida.
Rick Costa (12:38):
Hey you know clearly , it's just a phone call.
Tony Dandridge (12:41):
It's just a phone call it's just a phone
call.
Rick Costa (12:43):
It was just funny, it made me laugh.
She said hey, you can saysomething in Spanish to me.
I said, oh okay, I was likewhat should I say?
Deals me.
I don't know.
Okay, wait so do you know thisperson no like, do you?
Carmen Lezeth (13:00):
have to know no, all right.
Well, that's not fun If it'snot going to go somewhere.
Rick Costa (13:04):
I just thought it was very funny.
Carmen Lezeth (13:08):
Well, and there was a good try to change the
subject, but you know we'regoing to have to go back to Tony
.
Tony, you cool.
Tony Dandridge (13:15):
Ask away.
I'm great.
Carmen Lezeth (13:17):
I know, I know no you know it's so weird because,
like this is, it's likeinteresting to like talk to you
and get to know you, but what'snot interesting is having to
deal with all the people thatyou bring to the table when,
when when you're on the table,I'm with them, or cool Some of
them are cool and then somepeople act stupid.
But just, I feel like this isalways going to be an issue.
(13:40):
If I have you on the show, wecan't just have a like this was
kind of a cool conversationright About you and your
relationship, and now we got cutoff because somehow we can't
talk about it because you'regoing to have people in the
comments being ridiculous.
Tony Dandridge (13:56):
I never know that.
I don't let things like thatstop me.
Now, mind you, when I firststarted live stream with people,
I used to see folks go throughit all the time.
It's nothing, they always gothrough it.
Matter of fact for a lot ofpeople who are on Periscope, you
always saw somebody coming insaying something.
All you got to do is keep itgoing.
You could respond to it, butnever let them stop your flow
and never let that topic thisisn't about me, Tony.
Carmen Lezeth (14:18):
This is it.
Listen, listen, there's aquality.
Tony Dandridge (14:19):
I'm not saying.
Carmen Lezeth (14:20):
I'm not saying no , no, but I'm saying there's a
quality and kind of show that'skind of fun.
This is all about the joy, andsome motherfucking people on in
the comments don't understandwhat that means, right?
So we're having this nice flowand conversation about your life
that might be able to helpother people, or getting deep
(14:40):
about talking about some stuff,and what I don't like is this
constant and this is and I'mgoing to say it, this is what I
hated about haps and the peopleon haps.
Like I don't care if I never seea motherfucking other person
from haps ever again in myfucking life, because it's such
negativity.
It is such anger and sadnessand everybody all is about
(15:03):
gossip and about tearing peopledown, and even when you try to
be nice to people, they stillneed to be a bitch.
Hi, chris, your wine.
Tony Dandridge (15:15):
The way people Shadow.
I don't know if you're talkingto me or you.
I don't know, I don't know, Idon't know, I'm sorry, I'm
getting upset.
Carmen Lezeth (15:24):
Look at, the reason why I'm getting upset is
because the people that justkind of stopped our flow are
people who know better, andthey're people I don't want near
my show.
But they choose to be here andthey choose to listen and they
choose to be negative humanbeings who are constantly trying
to bring people down instead oflifting people up, and the
(15:45):
interesting part about it isthat they're always going after
people who want nothing to dowith them.
So that's why I'm upset and I'mso not in the mood.
I thought what you were talkingabout was great and I, you know
.
Again, anything you don't wantto talk about personal is always
your choice, and I actuallydon't know everything.
(16:07):
Even if I did, even if I didn'tknow everything, there are
people who watch the show whodon't know you and might learn
something, and I think that'sthe other part of this that
makes me crazy.
It's like if you are somebodywho's a live streamer, if you
are somebody who's a performerwho does a show, you understand
(16:30):
that when you are talking topeople, you are talking Helen,
get the fuck off my show, bitch.
I'm so over you.
I'm over you.
You need to let shit go.
My God, you are annoying.
You are so annoying and now I'mgoing to attempt to block your
fucking ass.
(16:51):
You are one of the strangestpeople I have ever met in my
entire motherfucking life.
Like you actually have mehaving more feelings for
somebody.
Yes, I am too faced.
Yes, if that makes you feelbetter, I don't know why you
come on my show, listen to myshow and then bitch to Rick and
(17:13):
bitch to other people.
I want nothing to do with you.
I have blocked you.
I have stopped talking to youbecause you are a nasty human
being.
You are angry, you cannot letthings go, you cannot forgive
people and you don't likeadmitting when you're wrong.
You asked me a question aboutTony.
I already spoke to Tony aboutit and I told you the truth.
(17:36):
I'm sorry, you're in love withTony and you don't want to deal
with the fact that he doesn't govisit you.
What do you want me to say toyou?
We can do this.
I'm angry with Helen becauseHelen cannot stop.
And Helen, I don't go and watchyour show, I don't go and
follow you around, I don't go onthe show all the time and
you're ruining things and Ithink that's what you enjoy
(18:00):
doing and I feel sad for you.
And you can call me whateverbaby.
You can call me whatever Honey.
I have been called every namein the book bitch, okay.
Wait, you left me a message,tony.
Tony Dandridge (18:13):
No, not you, Randall Rick.
This is actually somebodyelse's broadcast.
In the morning I put all mychannels on.
One of the reasons I don't puta lot of my channels on because
what happens is sometimeseverybody put a lot of channels
on because I don't want to messup.
I just don't want to getinvolved in this.
I just don't want to mess up.
Carmen Lezeth (18:29):
I didn't know what was going on.
I didn't expect what happenedto happen to me and I can
apologize everybody.
Tony Dandridge (18:34):
Wait, wait, wait , wait, wait, no, no, no, no,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,wait, wait.
I'm sorry, did I do somethingfor you?
Thank, you.
Carmen Lezeth (18:38):
You're right, I got all my.
I've been holding back on herfor a long time, but what she
did today, I would have neverbothered with her, because she
came on my show and wrote on mystream and called me a name.
I don't understand the dramainvolved with people from HAPS
and all this crap.
I really don't get it.
(18:59):
So, tony, I apologize to you,but you know what.
Tony Dandridge (19:02):
I didn't say I didn't wanna run it.
I'm telling anybody not to comeon unless they act negative
against the broadcast.
Carmen Lezeth (19:08):
And you don't think she's acting negatively
against the broadcast?
Tony Dandridge (19:11):
I think she's giving her opinion and already
knew what was gonna happen.
That's why I started singing.
Carmen Lezeth (19:15):
I like, oh, thank you, tony, here's what I'm
gonna do, because this is notwhat I want my show to be about.
Baby, as much as I want you onthe show, I don't want this
bitch and I'm calling you abitch in the way that it's meant
to be on my show.
You know what I mean.
Like, I don't want her herebecause she's a negative human
being.
This woman is upset aboutsomething that happened in March
(19:36):
when she asked us our opinionabout whether or not we thought
Tony was using her.
So that's what she's upsetabout, because me and my friend,
andrea truth or the truth?
Well, because she's in lovewith you and she wanted to know
if she should be pursuing youand we were like have you ever
met each other?
Why didn't you go to Scotland?
(19:56):
You know, I told you about inthe LinkedIn thing, you know so,
and now and she's stillbringing it up because she can't
let it go I just told you I'mhella.
I don't know why you think I'mhiding anything.
I don't know why you think I'mso shy.
I've never been shy aboutnothing.
But Tony, tony, here's what I'mgonna do.
(20:18):
You're gonna have to reallyrethink whether or not you want
to be on show, and I have torethink it too.
I don't want this.
I don't want this woman on myshow.
I don't want this drama on myshow and I am gonna get this
upset every time she comes onhere and talks bullshit, because
she is angry and she can't letthings go and she's a nasty
(20:39):
human being and I don't knowwhat her drama is.
But it's not what I want in mylife and it's not what I want
this show to be about, and I'mnot a big enough person to just
keep ignoring her because I wantto interact with people on the
show.
You have to not listen to allof that.
Now, you're right, chris.
Chris, you're right.
The problem is there's a littlebit of history here and this
(21:01):
woman is in love with Tony andshe has issues because we told
her what we thought about thesituation and you know it is
what it is.
I think some people needtherapy and they get it on
social media.
I just tried to block her, butfor some reason it's not working
.
I don't know why.
It doesn't matter.
She keeps, she's gonna keepfollowing.
(21:23):
Isn't that weird to havesomebody who just continuously
trolls, like just for attention?
That's like a weird thing.
I don't.
Rick is like I don't want anyphone calls so I'm saying
fucking nothing.
That's your whole face rightnow.
Look at here.
Here's what I feel bad about isI can't do anything to help her
(21:48):
.
I also don't like her, so and Iwant, I don't want her in my
life and so, tony, that means Idon't want you on my show.
I know that sounds horrible,but I think this is part of your
thing and you don't take astand.
I've had this conversation withyou before.
You've allowed it because Ithink you like the ego boost of
(22:10):
this woman falling around town.
Tony Dandridge (22:12):
What ego boost, what ego boost.
Carmen Lezeth (22:15):
Because someone liking you so much you're not
gonna.
You're like she's just givingher opinion.
She's not giving her opinion,she's calling me names.
Tony Dandridge (22:22):
I've seen people waiting, waiting, waiting,
waiting.
Remember, when you talk aboutgiving opinions and saying what
you want to say every time andyou don't care.
Here's the kicker, and I'vesaid this to her too.
You can't be like that oneverybody's broadcast.
What pisses me off is whenpeople come on and somebody else
is showing.
Do that shit.
I don't like that.
That's why I don't do it.
I know that and I've told her.
That's why I just sat back.
(22:42):
I'm like you know what this isgonna be on her.
You know why I'm not sayingthat?
Because I've told her stopdoing this for a year.
People don't have to believethis out there.
She's gonna keep doing like yousaid.
People have already told me shehas changed accounts.
She has done all that.
She has done all that.
Carmen Lezeth (22:54):
You know that she does it because she's in love
with you, right?
Actually, this might be areally good conversation after
all.
Go ahead, baby Rick, I'm sosorry if your phone blows up,
but you already know you needthe block.
Rick Costa (23:10):
We're good so far, so good yeah.
So people who are listening?
Who are like what the?
Tony Dandridge (23:16):
fuck is going on , what you want me to stop?
Carmen Lezeth (23:22):
I'm not asking.
Look, it feels like we don'thave a choice.
It feels like we have to havethis motherfucking conversation.
It's either that or you need toget off the show and I need to
go talk about something else.
But we're here now.
You know what I mean.
It's like you don't have.
I'm gonna go ahead and say thisLook it, I guess my question is
to you.
It's like it's not people.
(23:43):
This is Helen.
It's not people, Tony.
Tony Dandridge (23:46):
She's not the only one who does this and I'm
gonna go ahead and say this I'veseen people do this before her
and I've told them to stopacting like this before her,
Before I went through thesituation, I've seen people do
this.
Why are you talking aboutanyone else but Helen?
Because every time this happens, we don't talk about that one
person.
I tell everybody on socialmedia they need to stop doing
this.
I just talked about this andtell you it's show up in a month
(24:06):
ago.
Carmen Lezeth (24:06):
This is not a global phenomenon.
Sweetie, I know you.
Tony Dandridge (24:09):
It is, it is, it's not my life, my life right
now.
Carmen Lezeth (24:12):
This is the problem In your life no In your
life.
Tony Dandridge (24:14):
No, that I see this.
Carmen Lezeth (24:15):
This woman is the problem.
That's why I've been quiet.
Tony Dandridge (24:17):
I see this everywhere.
That's why I've been quiet.
I'm tired of telling people todo this, and people want to do
it on purpose.
Carmen Lezeth (24:21):
They want to do this.
Wait, they do this to you allthe time.
I'm confused.
Tony Dandridge (24:24):
I didn't save me .
I didn't save me.
I said I've seen this on otherbroadcasts.
They used to do this all thetime on Periscope before they
were doing it on Haps.
I know, I know, but that's thewhole other thing.
Carmen Lezeth (24:35):
That's not what this show is about.
That's what I'm trying to say.
My show is always about what'ssupposed to be I guess not today
, but it's always supposed to beabout joy and about bringing
happiness and about trying towalk through situations.
It's not about thisbullshittery, this crap.
It's her jealousy.
(24:57):
It's her needing to win and beright and not take any
responsibility.
I'm also going to put some shiton you, which is what I always
do.
It's also your responsibilitybecause you continue to allow it
to happen.
Tony Dandridge (25:12):
So I allow it to happen.
Carmen Lezeth (25:14):
Well, yeah, because instead of saying Helen,
cut the shit, and having aconversation with her, you're
like globally, I tell everybody,I tell everybody.
Tony Dandridge (25:25):
How many people are running after you and doing?
Carmen Lezeth (25:27):
this shit with other people?
What?
Tony Dandridge (25:29):
I've told her to stop doing this, in private and
in public, more than once.
Carmen Lezeth (25:34):
I've told many people that's not doing this.
She doesn't sell the people onother shows.
Tony Dandridge (25:39):
She's done this on other shows.
Yes, she's not the only one.
Carmen Lezeth (25:43):
Well, she needs some help.
So what do you think is herissue with doing this whenever
you're around?
What do you think?
Because every time you werearound before, if you came on
our show and talked on our show,then Rick would have to deal
with a whole bunch of textmessages or whatever.
He would never tell me about it, but I could always
motherfucking tell because we'dbe having our meeting and he'd
(26:06):
be all like pissed off and shit.
So here's my question what isit that you think about you?
Rick Costa (26:14):
Hey.
Carmen Lezeth (26:14):
Ash bring some joy in the room.
Tony Dandridge (26:17):
What's up, ash, how you doing.
What's up, ash, how you doing.
Carmen Lezeth (26:21):
What is it that you think is about you, that
this comes out?
What do you think is happeningthere?
Tony Dandridge (26:28):
I think it's me.
I think it's me.
Yeah, I see that Some peoplejust want to do this.
I don't think it has anythingto do with me.
People can't wait to callpeople out.
You think Helen's Bullshitery?
Carmen Lezeth (26:38):
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I want to be Kalea.
You think Helen's Bullshiteryhas nothing to do with you?
Tony Dandridge (26:47):
I've seen her do this with somebody else on that
show.
We had nothing to do with me.
I've seen it.
Carmen Lezeth (26:52):
Tony, your denial is like incredible.
Tony Dandridge (26:55):
I just told you the truth.
You don't remember it.
You don't remember it.
I saw it, I've seen it.
Carmen Lezeth (27:01):
I saw it before too, because she was mad at
what's his name and he was beingme.
That's not what we're talkingabout.
This is a whole other thing.
This is a whole other thing,but that's my thing.
Tony Dandridge (27:09):
You always talk about this.
Right now, I'm telling you,I've seen the pattern with
people no-transcript.
This is a social media.
Carmen Lezeth (27:14):
So you're saying Helen does this on other shows
all the time, so she has aproblem.
Tony Dandridge (27:19):
No, I've seen it nicely all the time.
No, no, no, no.
Carmen Lezeth (27:23):
No, because you can't just admit that she has a
problem.
Instead, you want to make it alot of people.
Tony Dandridge (27:28):
I just said.
I've told her about this morethan once.
I didn't say that.
Carmen Lezeth (27:34):
Rick, we need to.
Tony Dandridge (27:35):
That's what I'm trying to do.
No.
Rick Costa (27:36):
I know I know, I know.
Carmen Lezeth (27:39):
No, I mean, you're so right.
You know what I mean.
You know what?
Helen Rick is being quietbecause you're a fucking idiot
and you like to harass peopleand fucking send text messages
to people to hurt them.
And you want attention, bitch,I'm going to give you
motherfucking attention.
You are so evil.
You have me feeling bad forsomeone else I hated Like.
(28:04):
Now I realize why he went afteryou because you're fucking
ridiculous girl.
You need therapy.
You need some help, sister, youneed to get some help.
You are out of your fuckingmind.
You're out of your mind to befollowing people who don't want
to talk to you.
I've blocked you on everything,bitch, blocked you on
(28:28):
everything, and you still aretrying to sit here and have a
fight with people, and you knowwhat.
I'm happy because, in a way,I've needed to say this to you.
I wasn't going to fucking textyou and email you and all the
other shit that you do to people.
If you lived across the fuckingstreet, I'd walk across the
fucking street and tell youbecause you are a nasty human
(28:49):
being, nasty human being, and Iwish that you get all the help
and whatever love it is thatyou're missing in your life.
I hope you receive it, honey,because you need it.
You need someone to really loveyou, to understand what it is
to have real friendships and tohave real good people in your
life, because that's what you'remissing, baby.
(29:10):
You missing really goodfriendships, and I'm going to
tell you right now I would havebeen a good friend to you, but
you're so stupid you're missedout.
I hope, helen, that you getwhatever help you need, because
you really do need it.
You need help.
I cannot say it anymore.
Andrea said it to you, we allsaid it to you.
(29:30):
You need to get some realmotherfucking help, and your
denial and your name call isn'tgoing to help you.
You can call me whatever youwant.
No one's going to believe youNobody, nobody.
Ash says people are allowed tohave an opinion, but going into
people's lives to create dramadoesn't put light on this.
It just makes the instigatorlook immature.
Tony Dandridge (29:51):
Chris let me respond.
Carmen Lezeth (29:53):
It's a confirmation to him.
He likes that attention.
He needs to feel empty, gapinside himself, confirmation to
feel okay.
Are you, chris?
Are you talking about Tony?
She told my mix.
That's interesting, I canrespond to that.
Tony Dandridge (30:06):
I can respond to that.
Carmen Lezeth (30:08):
I don't know if she's talking about you, but it
sounds like she is talking aboutyou.
Tony Dandridge (30:12):
People are allowed to have an opinion, but
going into people's lives tocreate drama doesn't put light
on this situation.
It just makes the instigatorlook immature.
Ash, paul, that's why youshouldn't go up there and speak
like this on social media.
I addressed this on a lot ofoccasion and this one of the
things I just tried to do when Iwas on the other platform.
People told me to stop doing itbecause it wasn't working.
I have tried to stop peoplefrom going on people's
broadcasts and doing this.
(30:33):
They don't damn stop.
They do not.
They want to do what peoplethink.
They could, just say what theywant to say, do what they want
to do, speak what they want tospeak, and they don't care who
it is or when they do it.
That's a problem to me.
I want to respond to Chris.
It's not about what you need tofeel content in your own life.
Chris, I'll be honest with you.
I have content in my own lifeoff of the internet, in all
(30:56):
honesty and I'm not being funny,I'm not being sarcastic, I'm
not being arrogant there are alot of people I've known in my
life before I came on theinternet.
A lot of people.
I come up here for fun andrecreation.
I come up here to enjoy myself.
I come up here to haveconversation with folks and to
not be a stagatory in theconversation.
If people don't notice anythingon social media, people come
into conversations just to starta damn party.
(31:18):
What's up, tory?
How you doing?
Ash?
I know where you're coming from.
You're good.
I'm going to be honest with youabout that, chris.
Even when I've tried to endthings with people or
disassociate myself with people,a lot of of us do still stay
linked for some of the decentconversations that we have had.
Some of the stuff like thishappens just towards everything
off, just like what Carmen'sfeeling right now.
I don't go with the people'sbroadcasts doing this.
Carmen Lezeth (31:40):
I do not, I do not.
Rick Costa (31:42):
If I don't like somebody, I just don't go on
their broadcast.
Tony Dandridge (31:46):
It's so weird.
The kicker is it is so hard.
It is so hard for some of thesewant to be grown folks to not
go into a conversation withoutstarting shit or saying some
shit.
It's hard for people to do that.
All you got to do is watch, andI watch a lot of people's
broadcasts.
I've been watching people'sbroadcasts for the past three
years myself, and not justtalking about people that I know
(32:07):
, people that I've known, whothey know.
I'll watch and I'll listen.
All you got to do is payattention to a bunch of these
conversations.
Just watch how we twist.
People can't have decentconversations without starting a
damn argument.
It's mind blowing to me.
Leave it to the topic, Leave itto the conversation.
Move on from that instead ofbeing a stagatory in your words
or in your comments.
It's not that hard to me, butfor other people it is.
Carmen Lezeth (32:29):
I think people enjoy being able to be behind
their keyboard and being nasty.
You know what I mean, becausethere's no real responsibility.
None of these motherfuckingpeople would ever say any of
this shit to my face.
That's what I always thinkabout.
Would that person ever say shitto my face?
They wouldn't.
They wouldn't Because my hoodshit would come out.
(32:50):
You know what I mean.
But that's what trolling is,this weird, strange power behind
a keyboard to be a nasty humanbeing.
If I don't like what somebody'ssaying and somebody's like it's
happened on Ted's show, right,ted, or whatever, they'll start
talking about something and I'mlike I'm out, I just, I just
leave, I don't even say I'mleaving because I'm mad or I
(33:11):
don't like it.
I'm just, I'm out, I'm out.
Tony Dandridge (33:15):
I just don't want you to know If I don't like
the show.
I don't want you to know If Idon't like it, I don't even
comment on it.
But people can't do that.
They cannot do that.
Carmen Lezeth (33:24):
They don't entertain crazy encounters.
No, then don't entertain.
You're right, chris.
Ashley the greed if I don'tlike someone, I don't want to be
around them and I'm not goingto demean myself by acting up.
Thank you, thank you, go ahead,girl.
Melanie said does anyone watchTV?
Not like the program and yellat the TV instead of changing
the channel?
Just curious, melanie, that wasgood.
(33:44):
Just change the channel rightInstead of screaming.
I like that, it's actuallyreally good.
Chris just said just food forthought.
Slow down, pray to God forclarity.
You can eliminate some of this.
No, you're absolutely right.
You know what I got upset and Ithink it's because it's been a
(34:06):
long time coming.
What's been really good is thatperson hasn't been coming on my
show.
I'm sure they've been watchingit because you know this is what
some weird people do.
But you know it's been fine.
I think this was kind of I hadto say what I had to say.
I'm kind of glad I did Like Igot it out of my system.
But you're absolutely right, Iwish I was kind of bigger than
(34:28):
that ignoring, but it's reallyhard to like.
Either I'm going to ignoreeveryone in the chat or I'm
going to be talking to everybodyin the chat, right?
And Rick did a really good jobof teaching me to talk to people
in the chat, so I kind of hadto address that.
I have people blocked all overon all my things, so I guess
(34:52):
that person was able to come onbecause Tony was connected to
that.
Tony Dandridge (34:56):
I have my, I have my channels on, so that's
my fault.
So I can apologize to everybodyelse.
It's not your fault, I willtell you, I got you.
Let me tell you this you cantake the channel, the screen, so
you ain't got to see it likethat, and it can be backstage
and not up in front of everybody.
Carmen Lezeth (35:09):
No, because I want to have my channel.
Tony Dandridge (35:12):
That's why I used to keep mine on.
I agree, that's why I used tokeep mine on.
Carmen Lezeth (35:16):
I'm not going to do that.
All these other good people aregiving me spirit at Chris and
Ash and Melanie, and there werea couple of other people who are
giving like beautiful,uplifting things that are
reminding me, that are keepingme in a better space, and
Cynthia you know what I mean.
So, no, we have a lot.
This is the highest Seeswearing and yelling.
You can't do so many viewers.
Rick Costa (35:42):
And I can't get the Maya Angelou quote out of my
head when someone shows you whothey are.
Carmen Lezeth (35:50):
Believe them.
Believe them, baby, whensomeone shows you who they are.
Believe them the demo plays onyour luck.
Whatever it is, he will marchahead, Just know.
Tony Dandridge (36:01):
I try to behave on Carmen's show for everybody.
For those that don't know, I dotry to behave up here, but I
had to go get my beer.
Carmen Lezeth (36:08):
You can have your beer, because I want a beer
right now too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's okay with you drinking.
What wasn't good with Tony's todo back in the day was he would
be full.
He would eat like fried chickenthere it is and then he'd be
like flossing.
And I was like okay, and he'dbe on other people's show.
So it was fine.
But I was like please don't,please don't, yes you did.
Rick Costa (36:32):
That's what I wanted to award, though.
Carmen Lezeth (36:35):
Yeah, but we got you.
You save girl, you save.
Look at so much Cheers.
I'm not being angry because Ithink I had a right to be angry.
I do apologize for anyone'sears who might have not liked
some of the verbiage I used whenI come from.
So yes.
Thank you for all of you whohave been here.
Tony Dandridge (36:58):
Maybe we'll get a sponsorship and I could stay
on the show, somebody.
All about enjoy.
Rick Costa (37:08):
Hornets nest.
What happens?
Don't be poking on hornets nestif you don't want.
Tony Dandridge (37:15):
I do want to throw this out there for people
in social media you got to stayaway from being a staggatorean
conversations.
I really do try my best to livethat way.
When I do broadcast, it's crazyas I am, as reckless as I am,
and even with the people thatabroad cancer I do that.
Try to come on there and beinga staggatorean.
What you want to do is becontributory to the conversation
Over in staggatory to aconversation.
(37:37):
If you remember that, you'llsee social media in a much
better life and how it is beingstill type, especially on the
news in the people's office.
Carmen Lezeth (37:45):
Melannie said, there is someone who doesn't
want me, doesn't want mefollowing them, yet they follow
me on another point, which is Ireally use Hmm, exactly see me.
Tony Dandridge (37:54):
All about the guys.
Carmen Lezeth (38:00):
Don't encourage him.
Look, here's a thing.
I think it was Chris, he saidit earlier.
Look at, there's always gonnabe trolls.
That's not what this.
I want to be really clear.
This is not some random troll.
This is a long-standing,ridiculous situation with
someone who is connected to Tonyand they've never been able to
(38:24):
come on the show because Iblocked them a long time ago and
they hate me because I toldthem what I thought about their
relation, her relationship withTony, whatever.
So this isn't just a troll.
This is someone who you know,if anything, you know, if you're
religious at all, whatever youbelieve in.
(38:45):
I'm sending them joy and hope.
I mean I'm not cussed aroundbecause she needed to be cussed
out and I needed to let that out, but I still praying for her.
I still wish her the well.
I told I, rick, have I ever oncewished ill will on that woman?
Never.
I always want her to find herway and To figure it out.
(39:05):
And the anger towards me?
Here's the irony the anger shehas towards me and Andrea, which
somehow Andrea was thrown intothis, by the way and Ray, who
doesn't know her from a hole inthe wall.
But the reason why she's angryis we told her a truth that she
didn't want to hear, but sheasked us about it.
So we said the truth, and it'sbeen months.
(39:26):
It's been when was it, rickMarch?
Rick Costa (39:30):
It's been a while yeah.
Carmen Lezeth (39:31):
I haven't talked to her since, but she ain't.
You know.
This is someone who needsprayers and love and and, and,
and joy, and Good juju orwhatever you call it.
You know what I mean like good,beautiful spirits.
I wish her well, whatever.
Rick Costa (39:56):
But I guarantee you, when you get Out of your life,
your life is gonna be so muchbetter, and I had to learn that
the hard way.
Carmen Lezeth (40:03):
Oh, yes, you did.
I'm glad you learned it though.
Rick Costa (40:06):
So yeah.
Carmen Lezeth (40:08):
Yeah, oh my god, I'm already exhausted.
Look at we wasted 50.
Rick Costa (40:11):
I'm trying to bring what a handle this better.
Carmen Lezeth (40:14):
Who.
Rick Costa (40:15):
Chandler, bring Chandler bang.
Carmen Lezeth (40:16):
Yeah, I, you know , I didn't really want.
Oh my god, I have too many textmessages.
Rick Costa (40:25):
Girl call me late explain.
Carmen Lezeth (40:29):
Wait, you know it's a funny is I had an agent
reach out to me while I was away, which is very interesting.
So I hope he's not watching theshow, but I have a feeling he
is watching the show because hewas interested in and having a
conversation with me, and so inmy head a part of me is like so
well, now you can see the fullflavor of All About the Joy, all
the side.
Rick Costa (40:57):
I think Chandler Chandler would have been like go
away.
Carmen Lezeth (41:01):
I Didn't.
You know, I did not.
Not regularly, but I saw a lotof episodes, so I mean yeah, I
(41:25):
mean I, of course, we all knowwho friends are or whatever, and
I think what's really cool isthe newer generation, like my,
my niece, Juliana.
She's obsessed with friends.
So, you know, 15 years old,they all love that show.
And, Cynthia, I knew you wouldlove that show.
It's not that I didn't lovethis show, I just.
I think I was more of aSeinfeld person, you know, but
it was always must see what was.
It was like Thursday nights orsomething.
Tony Dandridge (41:49):
And I was going to work doing those hours on.
During the 90s I was at work.
Carmen Lezeth (41:52):
Oh, you worked at night back then.
Wow, is that when you were inthe military?
Tony Dandridge (41:57):
When I started in the military, when I used to
work at the door track inAlabama we always work like a
swing schedule it was over liketwo-thirds of the bin that right
right, right right.
So I was always working.
That was Sunday, and Thursdaywas my night off, and Friday,
saturday for the busy nights.
Carmen Lezeth (42:11):
So I think the reason why people this is just
my opinion, because, you know,even I felt bad I think it's
because he had so many struggleswith his alcohol and drug
addiction.
We wanted him to win.
Yes, you know what I mean Like,and I think, no matter what
happened or why he passed awayright when they do the talks, it
(42:32):
doesn't matter.
I think there's a part of usthat always wants to see the
person who's trying so hard tobeat something.
It's a question and so for himto pass away.
Rick Costa (42:46):
Is he was saying it was hard for him to try to watch
the show because he could justlook and see like, oh, I was
doing alcohol, then I was doingpills.
Then by how skinny he was, byhow not skinny he was, it was
like wow.
But, yeah and he's only a yearolder than me.
That's the part that freaks meout.
When somebody guys close to myage, I'm like whoa.
Carmen Lezeth (43:07):
Yeah, I just felt bad.
I was shocked at how manypeople like I think, what what
Tony just said?
I felt bad, that people were so, so many people were impacted
by his death, but it's.
Rick Costa (43:18):
International like.
Carmen Lezeth (43:19):
I didn't know that.
Rick Costa (43:21):
I watched the movie with him and Selma Hayek fools
rush in it.
Oh yeah, yeah, that was a goodmovie.
Carmen Lezeth (43:27):
That's a good one .
That's a cute romantic comedy.
Tony Dandridge (43:31):
Anyway, I didn't feel the impact everybody else
did, but I understand thisarresting piece to heaven, all
honesty.
Carmen Lezeth (43:36):
Yeah, is there any addiction that?
Do any of you have an addictionthat you want to share, like I
have an addiction to I won't liechocolate cake.
Okay, I don't mean an addictionlike him, but I was just saying
like it was so interesting, Istarted thinking about all the
(43:56):
things.
Like I'm not, I don't have avery Addictive personality, but
I can't resist certain things,is there something you have an
addiction to, in a light-heartedway, you know?
Rick Costa (44:06):
I have a hard time.
Cookies for me.
Carmen Lezeth (44:10):
Chocolate really from a certain place, or any
chocolate chip cookie any I meanI don't matter.
Someone said to me do youprefer cupcakes or slice?
Rick Costa (44:21):
I'm like it doesn't matter as long as the word cake
is in there, we're good there,all the matters.
Carmen Lezeth (44:26):
What were you saying?
One, two, three, four, what areyour addictions?
Tony Dandridge (44:30):
Money, food, sex , smoking, wait, all travel it
yes.
Carmen Lezeth (44:35):
Money.
You're addicted to money.
Tony Dandridge (44:37):
I don't like being broke.
I've been broken more than oneoccasion.
It is, it's.
It's when you don't worry aboutit and you have a situation
where you did it and nobody willhelp you.
It would change you, so for me,I got Go make money.
Carmen Lezeth (44:51):
Okay.
Tony Dandridge (44:52):
Even when I'm at right now, I'm at a conference.
I'm at a conference for theunion on my job and and it's
kind of covered I wasn't goingto come.
I wasn't gonna be able to comeif it wasn't covered.
So I'm up here, we're teachingeach other, we're helping each
other.
This is actually fun.
When I go to work, I normallywork overtime.
I've had a lot of emergenciesin my life to where the first
thing people would tell you isyou should have planned better
(45:14):
or you should have saved up more.
So my focus and I will say it'slike an addiction.
You got to focus on that.
Now, if I'm wrong on thataspect, let me go ahead and
throw out there.
I got a heavy addiction tosugar.
I will eat any and every typeof candy Well, I ain't gonna say
any and every type, but I lovemy hot tamales, my Mike and Iks,
my red hot, my lemon heads,cherry heads the apple heads,
the cherry ones.
Carmen Lezeth (45:35):
When he said hot tamales, I didn't think he meant
the candy.
Rick Costa (45:37):
Yeah, I was taking a second to say that.
I got confused.
Carmen Lezeth (45:40):
Confusion.
You look at that.
Rick Costa (45:42):
You love Halloween, then Halloween's your favorite.
Tony Dandridge (45:45):
When I get the candy out at the door.
I will swap candy with the kids.
They'll be like trick or treat.
I'm like bitch, I'm looking forthis.
Rick Costa (45:51):
This is what I got.
Carmen Lezeth (45:52):
Wow.
Tony Dandridge (45:53):
You know what we ?
Rick Costa (45:53):
should have this one that is that's just wrong.
Tony Dandridge (45:58):
No, it isn't.
They have fun.
They don't want chocolate.
Rick Costa (46:01):
Kids can negotiate.
Carmen Lezeth (46:03):
Yes, I also sent you guys a message about.
You know we're into the lasttwo months of the year, right?
So it's November, december andI was wondering what do you want
to accomplish in the next twomonths?
Rick Costa (46:20):
Just to get my finances more in order than it
is, and I'm slowly but surelyworking on it.
Carmen Lezeth (46:25):
So that's cool.
Chris said sugar.
I did that for a few years.
I'm like oh, you quit sugar,that's hard.
Quitting sugar is hard.
Tony Dandridge (46:34):
I actually did a fast on myself one year for
Lent and because I'm one ofthese Catholic, so we do Lent, I
quit every sugar habit I had.
I mean it's candy gum, tea,sweet foods, cold cereal.
I just didn't do it for 45 days.
Rick Costa (46:51):
When I was sick when I was sick last week I had no
appetite, and when I don't havean appetite, I just simply won't
eat.
I didn't eat for five days andI lost 10 pounds.
Carmen Lezeth (47:00):
Yeah, but that's not good way to lose weight.
Oh, I know, I know that that'sa bad thing, being sick and
losing weight is not a wish foranybody.
Rick Costa (47:09):
Yeah, I don't even try to.
Carmen Lezeth (47:11):
I don't try to eliminate anything Like.
I'm never gonna not eat sugar.
I can't even think about that.
Tony Dandridge (47:19):
Take a break, it'll help you.
It will do something.
When I did a detox, the firstthing- I've never done a diet in
my life.
I know, but if you ever do adetox, one of the first thing
they'll tell you is avoid sugar.
It's five different types ofsugar.
I thought it was only four.
I didn't even know there's fivedifferent types of sugar.
I was like okay.
Carmen Lezeth (47:35):
The only time I stopped eating something was
when I had to have the firstcolonoscopy.
That was the only time I everdid anything like where you have
to-.
Tony Dandridge (47:43):
Save that conversation I had to have a lot
to eat.
I know I'm just saying, but Idon't have a thing, One of the
worst times, because I couldn'teat like I wanted to.
I was losing my mind.
Rick Costa (47:53):
We were all cracking on Tony.
I remember that.
Carmen Lezeth (47:58):
Well, I don't remember this.
He did it on Haps.
Rick Costa (48:01):
They must have been on Haps, yeah.
Tony Dandridge (48:03):
Really, I think we might have been on Haps.
Yeah, I was on going through itand they were like what's going
on?
I said I can't eat.
They told me don't go to work.
I had this big inch jug full ofthat fluid.
I'm like okay, they said.
I said should I go to work?
They said no, don't go to work.
I said okay.
So I'm sitting here thinkingI'll be all right.
Carmen Lezeth (48:20):
Yeah, no, it is, you are.
Tony Dandridge (48:22):
I actually told them.
I'm so mad that, as much as Iwas in the bathroom, I didn't
leave you two days later with abody like Captain America.
I said this is bullshit, ain'tno way to have a body like that
for this much, and I don't havea six-pack.
Looking like Lex Luga, I waslike this is I was pissed, but I
couldn't, and all you could dowas drink that fluid.
So then I finally did have that.
(48:43):
I'm gonna tell you this story.
This is gonna be funny, I don'tcare.
I went to the doctor and I'msitting here like waiting over
there, and the girl said youhave no idea.
So they told me to put the roadbar.
I'm already mad.
I got to wear a robe, causeeverybody know where the
hospital road is.
It's open in the back and Itold them y'all better hurry up,
because I'm only I'm clenchingand I don't know how long this
(49:04):
is gonna be, for you gotta getone of them absorbing pads over
there.
You better get one of themabsorbing pads over there,
because when I go to sleep Iwon't be tense, you'll be fine,
I'll worry about it.
So I'm laying on the table andI'm looking around.
Right, that is it.
What's wrong with you?
I said I'm counting all youmotherfuckers, cause if I wake
up and I don't feel right, Iwant to know who the hell I got
to go.
Carmen Lezeth (49:23):
Who's ass do I have to pick Like literally?
Rick Costa (49:29):
Chris said it's hard but it was weird.
Carmen Lezeth (49:31):
I started it due to another indulgement that I
stopped.
I shifted, but then I realizedand stopped the alternative.
No listen, I propped to you onthe sugar thing.
I have other friends who'vestopped sugar and dairy,
whatever.
I've just never done any of thethings and now that I'm older
I'm like I'm not gonna, I'mnever gonna do it unless a
doctor tells me this moviecalled what to health.
Tony Dandridge (49:53):
I stopped drinking milk after watching
what to health.
Carmen Lezeth (49:56):
I don't.
I'm not a big milk drinker.
I drink almond milk.
I used to be Like in my cereal,whatever, but I don't really.
I've never been a big milkperson.
Although, don't give me fakeice cream, Like I'm gonna eat
ice cream.
I want regular ice cream.
You know what I mean, but Idon't want to be good.
Right, right right.
Rick Costa (50:10):
I remember the question now, Is there anything?
Any new update as far asSagaftra?
Carmen Lezeth (50:16):
They're still negotiating.
They had a really goodconversation, so we get
notifications every day fromFran Dresser and from the SAG
committee telling us wherethey're at.
So they still haven't finalizedanything, but hopefully they're
gonna come.
I feel like it's close.
It seems like the stickingconversation right now is about
(50:37):
AI.
That's what my gut says and thestuff that I was reading.
But I feel like we're so closeand I really hope that the
strike is over with.
So many people have been out ofwork.
It's not just the actors but,yes, all of these actors have
been out of work, but it's allthe crews and all the producers
and it goes all the way down.
It hits marketing, it hits allthe restaurants when you go film
(51:00):
somewhere.
So it really is, I think,starting to affect people.
So I hope you know, woo-hoo,hope and pray that this happens,
hopefully soon.
I'm feeling it.
I'm feeling it.
I want it to be.
You know what I mean?
I wanted to read one thing thatI got was interesting because
and then we're gonna stop it.
So I read this in the paperthis morning On Sunday, gary
(51:24):
Hobish, 70, collapsed during aweekly swing dance gathering in
Golden Gate Park here inNorthern California.
His friend, tim O'Brien, racedto the nearby D Young Museum in
search of a defibrillator,pleading with a staff member to
let him use the lifesavingdevice.
The staffer checked with hisboss and delivered a firm answer
(51:50):
the defibrillator was not toleave the building.
Mr O'Brien returnedempty-handed and Mr Hobish died.
So this museum is getting a lotof backlash.
It's called D Young Museum.
Rick Costa (52:07):
It's about to become the old museum, Old museum, old
ass museum right.
Carmen Lezeth (52:11):
I was shocked that the staff person went and
asked somebody if they could useit Like don't you think that's
weird?
But I read that because I thinkit's kind of a microcosm of
what I think our country is inright now.
We're in a really weird place,but imagine your grandfather,
your father, your brother,whatever it is, 70 years old,
(52:35):
died because somebody wouldn'thelp him.
Rick Costa (52:40):
Yeah, isn't that weird, that's true.
But if the owner was offsitethey would have been like, yeah,
go ahead.
Carmen Lezeth (52:47):
It doesn't even make any sense to me.
Was the staff person young anddidn't know?
To me it doesn't matter.
I don't know how young couldyou be working at a museum?
Let's say you're 18.
Let's just.
I'm sure they weren't, butlet's say you're 18.
Have we gotten to a place inour lives that someone is asking
for a defibrillator?
That means somebody is having aheart moment.
(53:11):
They are about to die, Like, Idon't care how old you are, you
save a person's life.
Yes, Chris, I think we're in abad place and I think I wanted
to read that.
To bring that up.
Tony Dandridge (53:24):
Chris is correct .
Now, the thing with thedefibrillators is you have to be
certified to use them.
Carmen Lezeth (53:30):
No, the whole point of the defibrillator is
that they're easy enough to helpanyone, so they're always
around.
Tony Dandridge (53:36):
You gotta be certified to use them.
But you gotta be certified touse them.
I gotta get training on thearea.
Carmen Lezeth (53:40):
If somebody came to me and asked for a
defibrillator.
I would give it to them to tryto help.
Tony Dandridge (53:45):
Because what's the worst?
Carmen Lezeth (53:46):
thing that can happen the person could die.
Rick Costa (53:49):
So I don't have to be in a state Okay.
Carmen Lezeth (53:52):
But Tony, do you see?
Okay?
But here's my point.
You're doing exactly what I'mafraid of.
I don't wanna get sued, so I'mnot gonna try to help someone.
Tony Dandridge (54:02):
I'm with you.
You can do CPR without thedefibrillator.
Carmen Lezeth (54:06):
No, the reason why we have a defibrillator is
so that we can try to helpsomeone who's having a heart
issue.
That's the whole point ofhaving them around.
Tony Dandridge (54:12):
I understand.
Carmen Lezeth (54:14):
They're everywhere.
You know what I mean.
Like that's the whole point.
Should you know how to use one?
Yes, should you?
Right, the person went to askfor one because he knew his
friend was dying.
Yeah, here's my thing.
Rick Costa (54:27):
If I get fired for saving somebody's life, then
fire me.
Carmen Lezeth (54:30):
Yeah, exactly, if I'm having a heart issue or you
think I'm dying, I want you todo everything you can to try to
save me.
Okay, and I'll put it out therein public.
I will not sue you if I die.
Rick Costa (54:42):
I don't know.
We have it on record.
Carmen Lezeth (54:47):
We have it on record.
Now I just think we're in a badplace.
I remember when we valued lifeso much that you wouldn't
question something or wewouldn't even be having an
argument.
Can you?
Could you have to?
Don't you have to be certified?
The whole reason whydefibrillators are around us
because they're so easy to use.
(55:07):
Right?
And, by the way, doing CPR isvery different now than when we
were growing up, where you werebreathing in people's mouths,
Like I don't think people havebeen certified in a long time.
You don't do that anymore,right?
You just do the compressions onthe chest.
You do not breathe in someone'smouth anymore.
Go ahead, you don't breathe inpeople's mouth anymore.
Tony Dandridge (55:28):
You get a face mask thing.
I just had a training issue.
Carmen Lezeth (55:32):
I know, I know.
But, tony, if me and you wereout hanging out, do you have a
face mask to put on me?
That's what I'm saying.
Rick Costa (55:38):
At least we're defibrillating and don't break
nobody's ribs either.
Carmen Lezeth (55:42):
Right, you don't break anybody's ribs Just
watching every episode ofemergency qualify me too.
Rick Costa (55:47):
Yes, I certify you right now.
Tony Dandridge (55:50):
If it does, tell me.
If it does.
Carmen Lezeth (55:51):
I watch emergency e-ar cold red, all of that mess
traffic dog and then you seenothing else Is the emergency
keeping on anymore yeah, in theold TV channel.
Tony Dandridge (55:59):
Yeah, what's that me?
Rick Costa (56:00):
too, Cynthia thank you.
Carmen Lezeth (56:02):
Cynthia works in a hospital.
Correct compression only,exactly, yes, yeah, because now
that you don't put your mouth toanother person's mouth anymore.
Anyways, I just wanted tomention that, like, I just feel
like we're in a really weirdplace and there's so much hate
and anger and I just exhibitedall of mine in the beginning of
(56:23):
this podcast, so clearly, we allhave a lot of work to do with
our own selves as well.
I'm going to say goodnight toeveryone.
Can you hear us?
Tony Dandridge (56:33):
Yes, my earpods died.
Oh yeah, I'm here.
Carmen Lezeth (56:36):
Okay, all right.
Thank you everyone for stoppingby to a fantastic and crazy
show.
Tony Dandridge (56:43):
I got it Great numbers, great numbers.
Carmen Lezeth (56:48):
You know what?
I'm just going to start thisshow off every week screaming at
somebody.
I guess I should just startyelling and screaming and, like
you know, just getting reallygang and ghetto-fied or whatever
, like back in the day and getour numbers up and look at
people who are still here.
So that's good.
It's really weird.
Thank you for stopping by.
I really appreciate you all.
(57:08):
I miss you and, yeah, we'll doit again next week.
Bye everyone, thank you.
Rick Costa (57:14):
Good night.
Carmen Lezeth (57:15):
Good night.
Good night, thanks for stoppingby.
All about the joy Be better andstay beautiful folks have a
sweet day.
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