Searching for Balance: A Conversation on Money, Happiness, and Respect

Join us and a new friend to the show, Tommy Lee, as we journey down memory lane, discussing holiday plans and birthday celebrations that fall on the festive season. We also touch on the tricky terrain of the job market, emphasizing how crucial it is to have a strong support system when navigating career choices.

Ever felt overwhelmed by the negativity and disrespect that's become almost second nature in today's society? We've been there too, and in this chat, we tackle these issues head-on, discussing their impact on our daily interactions. We also discuss the often misunderstood term "soccer mom", highlighting how it has evolved, and the misconceptions surrounding wealth and happiness. We take a deep look into experiences working for affluent individuals, and how it's taught us that money doesn't always equate to joy.

Now, let's talk about work-life balance, time, and mental health. We've all had those jobs that pay well but drain us of our time and energy, right? We share personal stories of the struggle to find balance, emphasizing the importance of valuing our time and mental health above all else. We wrap up with a heartfelt discussion on respect, compassion, and the dynamics of giving and receiving.  So sit back, relax, and join us for an episode filled with wisdom, laughter, and plenty of food for thought.

Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. You can also support us by shopping at our STORE - We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.

Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth


DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.

Episode Transcript

Carmen Lezeth (00:00):
Hi everybody, welcome to All About the Joy.
We got Rick, of course, in thehouse, as always.
We got Tony D and one of ournew favorite people, tommy.
But, tommy, why did your camerajust change?

Tommy Lee (00:12):
Now we look at up at you.
I, because I had to move itbecause my other device, the
Tony, said about charging it.
So I'm like you know what, letme double check and make sure
that this is charged.
So I wanted to plug it in andcharge it, is it okay?

Carmen Lezeth (00:25):
Yeah, no, it's fine.
It just looks like we'relooking up at you like this now.

Tommy Lee (00:29):
Yeah, sorry, just don't look up my nose, yeah,
okay.

Carmen Lezeth (00:32):
Well, you know, I can only edit so much.
So this is the first time TonyD and Tommy Lee are on the show
together, so we've already didlittle introductions in the
green room and they already hateeach other.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.

(00:53):
But, tommy, I have to tell yousomething that happened the
other day.
So I never name dropped with myclients.
So my clients don't know eachother.
A couple of them have bumpedinto each other and they know
that I work for them, but it'skind of like I really do a good
job of never talking to myclients about other people.
So the other day I was talkingto one of my clients and I was
just like, yeah, yeah, da, da,da da, tommy Lee, and it was so

(01:15):
great to touch base with himagain.
And she was like oh my God,that's the first time you ever
name dropped.
Oh my God, what are you talkingabout?
You know, in my head I'm likename dropped.

Tommy Lee (01:30):
Yeah.

Carmen Lezeth (01:32):
It was really funny.
I was like yeah, no, no, it'snot that Tommy Lee, but she
doesn't believe me.
She thinks I'm covering, so shethinks Tommy Lee Lee is
actually my client.
So we're just going to go withthat.
I guess it's all good, he washere.

Rick Costa (01:46):
He was here first.
This is the original.

Carmen Lezeth (01:47):
That's right.
Are you sure about that?

Tommy Lee (01:50):
Because I believe me, I did my research.
He's like, oh I'm sure Betterthan me.

Carmen Lezeth (01:54):
All right, all right.
So the first thing I wanted toask Tony, because he celebrated
his birthday on Thanksgiving.
Happy belated, happy belated.

Tony D. (02:04):
How was your?
Birthday Thank you, thank you,thank you.
It was excellent.
I want to see my mom, I want tosee my sister.
My brother-in-law, my nephew,my niece hung out with them for
the weekend Much needed.
They pretty much made me comeup there to tell them I need to
get up out of here and just takea break from everything I've
been going through this year.
I'm grateful for that.
Grateful, definitely gratefulfor family.
Excuse me, it was like crazy.

(02:28):
It was cool, I needed that.

Carmen Lezeth (02:29):
Yeah, you had some cool Facebook posts too,
yeah.
So is it weird I mean, becausethis has happened more than once
that your birthday lands onThanksgiving?

Tony D. (02:39):
That's the day I was born.

Carmen Lezeth (02:40):
Yeah, okay.

Tony D. (02:41):
Right.

Carmen Lezeth (02:41):
So yeah.

Tony D. (02:43):
Yeah, especially to my mom, and I've been told by my
grandmother and one of my auntsthat I'm the guy to interrupt
the Thanksgiving dinner.

Carmen Lezeth (02:50):
Wait, I missed that.
Say that again.

Tony D. (02:52):
I interrupted Thanksgiving.

Carmen Lezeth (02:57):
That's kind of mean in a way, but you were
blessing and they were gratefulfor you.
Yes, right.

Tony D. (03:05):
I got to back for the rest of my life.

Rick Costa (03:09):
Mom was thankful that she finally got to pop you
out.
Thank you, I believe it, Ibelieve it.

Carmen Lezeth (03:14):
I think of all the holidays.
If I had to be born on when itwould be Thanksgiving.
That's a good one.

Tony D. (03:19):
That's a good question Actually.

Carmen Lezeth (03:21):
So Joel's birthday.
Joel was on.
The show is on July 4th, whichI think would might be another
cool one as well, just becauselike as a kid, you would think
everyone's celebrating yourbirthday, or whatever.

Tommy Lee (03:32):
Right, I was thinking no, okay, I was thinking, joe,
today.

Carmen Lezeth (03:38):
No, no, no, no, no no.

Rick Costa (03:40):
All the fireworks would come on.
Well, I just found outyesterday.

Carmen Lezeth (03:44):
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Can't talk over each otherbecause I am not that good at
editing.

Rick Costa (03:53):
I said, another good reason before the July is the
fireworks might cover up the momscreaming.

Carmen Lezeth (03:59):
That's true, that's true.
That's a good one.
What were you saying, tommy?

Tommy Lee (04:03):
I found out that we might be putting Christmas Day
on hold because my nephew andhis girlfriend she's due around
that time, so if she goes earlywe're not on.

Carmen Lezeth (04:16):
Christmas.
See, I would think that's aterrible day to have a birthday
Christmas day.
That's what I heard.
That would be horrible, butwhat I've heard too.

Tony D. (04:26):
I've grown Christmas babies and I got a sister.
She was born on 4th of July,yeah.

Carmen Lezeth (04:32):
Her and Joe Lava.
Yeah, do I know, joel Dubay.
We'll have to talk about thatlater.
Tommy, because I know the name,I just don't remember.

Tommy Lee (04:38):
I think he's now the president of Nesba, which
there's no more Eastern Mass.
So yeah All right.

Carmen Lezeth (04:45):
Okay, we're going to go into the way.

Tommy Lee (04:46):
Okay, that's another story for all the people, all
the people, okay, so how?

Carmen Lezeth (04:49):
was everyone's Thanksgiving.
Tommy Lee, how was yourThanksgiving?
It was great.

Tommy Lee (04:55):
It was really.
Yeah, really really was.
I was kind of I was looking atthe weather and I was like, oh,
it's a great rain and snow up inNew Hampshire and sleep.
And then I got to drive home atnight and I don't like driving
at night and I had to take myoldest brother with me and drive
30 minutes out of my way to gethim and then but we timed it
perfectly the food was amazing,as always.

(05:17):
My niece is a great cook, justsitting around and laughing with
good food and you know oldstories of back in the day and
it was just fun.
It was just fun, it was fun.
It weren't for once there wasnot 30 people, it was a small
group.

Carmen Lezeth (05:35):
Yeah, that's always good, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it was nice.
That's awesome, rick.
How was yours?

Rick Costa (05:41):
Well, we were supposed to go to my son's mom's
house, but let's just say itdidn't happen.

Carmen Lezeth (05:50):
So okay, we can just leave it at that, if you
want, that's okay.

Rick Costa (05:56):
He did come over at night with food though, so I was
grateful, so it was good so allright, I'm gonna have to get
that backstory later.

Carmen Lezeth (06:02):
That's all I'm saying.
I had a great Thanksgiving.
I ended up doing some volunteerwork, which is what I kind of
always do on Thanksgiving and Ihad just been back home because
I had to go to that funeral.
It's.
I was done with traveling, butI had a lovely Thanksgiving as
well.
It probably is one of myfavorite holidays, I think.
Out of all of them, I thinkit's the easiest one.

(06:23):
And then, of course, you knowmy birthday, which is the most
important, you know, but that'scoming up in January.

Rick Costa (06:30):
Just like that.
Yes, january babies, woohoo.

Carmen Lezeth (06:32):
Yeah, because woohoo.
All right, so that's so funny.
All right, I wanted to know ifyou guys had had any good or bad
things you wanted to share.
That has happened in the pastweek or so.
Any news, anything good, bad,Go ahead Tommy.

Tommy Lee (06:50):
I have good news, as you know already.

Carmen Lezeth (06:53):
Yes, and that you know.
It's kind of one of the reasonswhy I put in there.
I was going to force you to sayanything but so I got a job
offer.
Wait, you have to tell everyonethat you were looking for work
for a while, right?

Tommy Lee (07:06):
Yeah, almost a year since January.
Yeah, and you know, at my ageand where I am in my career, I
have the right to be picky.
Of course I deserve to be paidmy worth and you know I'm not
but at the same time Iunderstand where the economy is
and where we are right now.
So I'm flexible.

(07:27):
But you know there's certaincriterias that just have to be
like I will not drive an hourand a half into the city anymore
and an hour and a half homeanymore.

Carmen Lezeth (07:37):
I don't think I've ever done that in my entire
life.
But you lived in the city.
I live in the suburbs.
Oh, that's right.
That's right yeah.

Tommy Lee (07:48):
So it's close to home , it's 20 minutes out, it's a
contract position covering forthe HR manager who's going out
on maternity leave, but it doeshave the potential to go
permanent.

Carmen Lezeth (08:00):
So congratulations, I'm so happy
for you.

Rick Costa (08:04):
So all you had to do was go on all about the joy and
boom, you got a job.

Carmen Lezeth (08:07):
You see what happened.
It just happened, Just like thegood energy.
The good energy just throws itout there.
Yeah, that's what it was, Rick.
What about you?

Rick Costa (08:18):
Well, you said good or bad.
So, remember, I've been alittle bit whining about my job
because I'm like I don't knowwhat's going on, who's where,
what's where.
Well, now I know kind of whathappened.
So the main building that theywanted did not get constructed
properly.
So I was like, oh, you'rekidding me, so what's going to
happen?
When's everything going to benormal?
And they said, maybe April?

(08:39):
I was like April, I got herewith this till April.
Oh well, it is what it is.

Carmen Lezeth (08:46):
But it doesn't mess with you, money wise or
income wise, it's just a pain inthe ass, that's all.

Tony D. (08:53):
Yeah, I thought you'd tell the word for the most part.

Rick Costa (08:56):
No, I went from home , but they just moved from where
they were in one city toanother city, to two different
buildings.
One was supposed to betemporary and one the permanent
one.
It was not up to code and nowthey got to redo stuff and they
don't even have electricitythere, you got to bring a
generator.
What is happening?
So yeah, it's craziness rightnow.

Carmen Lezeth (09:17):
It's just cumbersome for you though.

Rick Costa (09:19):
Yeah, because I literally don't know who's where
, what's where, like somebodywould or something, oh yeah we
probably have it, let me call.
I don't know who's where it is,it's just annoying.
Is it that much of oceanviolation.

Tony D. (09:30):
What is?

Carmen Lezeth (09:31):
what is?

Tony D. (09:32):
the building, and then you have to bring your own, like
heater or ventilation orwhatever.

Carmen Lezeth (09:37):
I don't know Tommy.
Tommy knows all about thisstuff.

Tommy Lee (09:45):
I'm gonna have to agree.
I mean, you would have to be upto code with OSHA and you know
all those violations, and youcan't have people working in a
building that doesn't have heator electricity.

Rick Costa (09:56):
It's literally just my boss.
He's the only one that goesthere.

Carmen Lezeth (09:59):
Yeah, he owns a company's house.
Whatever, tony, I know you textin or doing other things.

Tony D. (10:07):
I was clear my bills out.
Sorry, I got to pay my bills.

Rick Costa (10:20):
Busy man tonight.

Carmen Lezeth (10:22):
Actually I enjoy this, I really do, and I know
you do cuz you always on theshows.

Tony D. (10:28):
Oh, the people asked me to be there and it's not that
it this time's what I can't be.
I'll give it this past weekendMore than anything.
I give him when I'm at work,but if I've got free time I try
to be there.
I try to support everybody.
I really do.

Carmen Lezeth (10:40):
Look at Tommy, don't know you.
So he's like he spreads himselfto thin.
He gets upset with everybody.
But he don't get upset cuz he'snot that kind of guy, but down
deep inside he is.
It's a weird thing.

(11:01):
He's just crazy.
We love him, but he local.

Tony D. (11:06):
Right down, carmen says she loves me.

Carmen Lezeth (11:09):
No.
It's on video oh, there you go,lord.
So, tony, any any good or badnews this week?
I mean, you had a birthday, soit couldn't have been like super
bad.

Tony D. (11:23):
I have to tell you that this past month is good for a
lot of things that need to bedone and things cleared up over.
With resolved this.
It was a lot, and Rick knows alot of what I've been going
through for the past coupleyears and what I've had to get
done and Between the movegetting wait, wait, wait, wait,
jealous, jealous, wait, what,what?
Why does Rick know something Idon't know because Rick been

(11:46):
talking to me for the pastcouple years, he know what I've
been going through.

Carmen Lezeth (11:50):
Well, that's so weird because Rick be talking to
me and he didn't tell menothing about you.
I see how this is.
Who's gonna get in troubleright now?

Tony D. (12:04):
You know about me having to move and everything.
So that was the biggest fightin that move and he knew how
hard I was trying to go throughthat.
But I got to the move.
I got things cleared up.

Carmen Lezeth (12:12):
Well, let's give Tommy a little information.
You just finished a divorce andyou had to move out of your
home, or something right?

Tony D. (12:19):
Yeah, it was a fight I lost.
Just being honest about it wasa fight that I lost, so I had to
move and it was moving Lasting.
I had to travel out of town fora convention, come back and
work and go back out of town.
My birthday didn't come backand work.
So it's been a lot.
It's been very busy, been aprogressive month.
I will say progressive morethan anything.
But for some people who can'tmake it, and for others who have

(12:40):
, make it.
Excuse me, I try to get bothsides of the story.
You're either going to inspireor you're going to enforce
something that somebody elsewent to when you tell your own
Testimony and I enjoy thatpeople have to learn how to get
something out of being aroundpeople or Give a message that's
going to inspire instead ofbeing some negative on social
media.
I'm so sick.
These negative folks up here isridiculous.

Carmen Lezeth (13:01):
That's for real, for real, that's for real,
that's true.

Tony D. (13:05):
That's what I try to push more than anything.

Carmen Lezeth (13:08):
It's just social media.
I mean, I know you spend a lotof time on social media, but
this is one of the things thathappened to me this week.
I'm just tired of negativity ingeneral.
Like I have no toleranceanymore.
Like people coming up withexcuses at work for why they
didn't do something they'resupposed to do all the time.
Like like, we have to havereports ready for our clients,

(13:30):
right, it's part of what we do.
So like not having that regularreport at the meeting on a
Wednesday that we've been doingfor five years.

Tony D. (13:39):
You know what I mean.

Carmen Lezeth (13:41):
And and then the excuse is not you know what.
I'm sorry, I messed up.
It's well, sheila Didn't callSusan and then Susan told me and
I thought that and I was.
I have no Patience anymore andI don't even think that's about
getting older.
I'm just done with people beingIrresponsible, negative people

(14:03):
who push other people down tolift themselves up.
So over you.

Tony D. (14:10):
That's just on my desk, your clip.
I want that out there.
People who have to push otherpeople down to get themselves up
you suck, I'm calling you out.
I've been like, yeah, are theweakest motherfuckers walking?
Guys, we're in earth.
And I said you let down,purpose it's really like it,
down to put yourself up.
You're the weak one.
We ought to crab in a barrelyour ass to the bottom.

Carmen Lezeth (14:31):
Okay, that will be a clip as well, look it.
But I think it says somethingabout the society we're in right
now.
So right now, what's happening?
It's 615 here on the West Coastand you know we don't really
talk about politics here, butright now DeSantis and Gavin
Newsom are on Fox News havingquote-unquote debate.

(14:55):
I want to be on the samewavelength of what you're
bringing to the tape watching onTed show.
Yeah, watch it on Ted show.

Tony D. (15:05):
Well, it probably be over by then, oh 90 minutes.

Tommy Lee (15:10):
I'm pretty sure you can.

Carmen Lezeth (15:10):
YouTube it or find it somewhere.

Tommy Lee (15:11):
I mean, tony, you do what you gotta do, but I don't
want to hear it in thebackground.

Carmen Lezeth (15:15):
The reason why I bring it up is because I know
that a lot of people are likeall gunning to watch it.
Rivalry fight thing, a Magiggybetween Florida and California,
and I'm.
I'm so over it.
I have a good aspect of it.
I have not heard that what?

Tony D. (15:32):
do you mean what aspect of California thing?
I have not heard that aspect.

Carmen Lezeth (15:35):
Well, it doesn't matter.
I mean that's why they're,that's why they're having this
debate right, it's becausethey've been both like who's
sorry, I'm gonna say it this waywho's penis is bigger?
Right, who's bigger isbasically, and look it, I love
Gavin Newsom, don't get me wrong.
I live in California for areason and I voted for him and I
love him.
But he, you know, even I'm likedisgusted that this is even

(15:59):
Happening, because it's notnecessary.
You know what I mean for me.
But it's going back to thatnegativity.
It's like we're all Harnessing,I mean even like because you're
putting it on, because we alllike the car accident.
We pretend that we don't, butwe all, we all gravitate towards
the car accident, but we all,we all gravitate towards
negativity and I don't know whyI'm gonna give you the truth.

Tony D. (16:21):
I really didn't give a damn yet about a lot of these
politicians campaigner for thepresidency.
I think it's too early and I'mnot too comfortable in any of
the candidates.

Carmen Lezeth (16:29):
I'm really now we're not talking about politics
here, but thank you for sharing.
No, I'm just saying, going backto negativity, right, that's
what I'm talking about.

Tony D. (16:38):
Internet, I'm saying it's everywhere is what I want
to contribute to that, if youdon't mind.
I've been saying for yearsDisrespect is taking over
society worse than politics, andnegativity is one of the
biggest aspects.
Of people are very negative anddisrespectful To this side.
They've been that way, I,before the pandemic.
They've been worse after.
What happens?
What do you?

Carmen Lezeth (16:57):
mean by disrespect?
Can you hone in on an example?

Tony D. (17:01):
People have no respect for anything or anybody.
It's terrible out here.
Yes, sir.

Tommy Lee (17:07):
I have to agree with you and I'm going to put it in
the terms that I use, and Iactually come and I learned this
from Jerry, I think especiallyafter what you just said after
COVID, everybody is me, me, me,I, I, I.
Yes, it's all about me.

Tony D. (17:26):
And I know it's for anything else or anything
anybody else has except forthemselves.

Tommy Lee (17:32):
Right, and I think it's gotten worse after COVID.

Rick Costa (17:35):
Yes, it's interesting that this came up.
I was watching Gary V on Twitchand one of the things they were
saying was that in ourgeneration it used to be the
elders were the respected onesand the kids were like what do
you know?
Now it's flipped.
If you're not young and hip andhot, you're nothing.
And the old people, what do youknow?
It's reversed.
He goes that's messed up.

(17:55):
It's true, it's very true.

Carmen Lezeth (17:58):
But I'm going to put a little twist in this.
Like, as much as I agree withwhat you're saying, rick, our
generation is the one that'sraising these kids.
Like I've had this argumentbefore with parents I'm not a
parent, but that's why I can seeso clearly.
That's how I'm going to say itPeople are upset with this other

(18:19):
generation, but you,motherfucking, raise them.
You know what I mean.
Like you taught them.
You gave them an iPhone whenthey were four, so that they
could be babysat, and thenyou're mad at them because
that's all they do.
Hey, Cynthia, how you doingshe's like sorry I'm late, it's
OK.

Rick Costa (18:37):
That was actually part of it too.
He was saying it was because ofthe technology.
And nap, because the old peopledon't understand how to use the
technology, so they feel leftout.
And the young people are likeyou don't know how to do this,
so making them look like they'restupid.

Carmen Lezeth (18:48):
I don't even know if that's true.
That's an extreme, becausewe're not even talking about old
people, we're talking about usand millennials versus Gen Z,
right?
I mean, all of us know how touse technology.
I mean, I know what you'resaying, rick, but I also think
that's a cop out.
It's not about technology.
The whole great thing about thehuman race is that we're always
progressing forward and movingfaster.

(19:10):
Right?
We had color TV when I wasgrowing up, as opposed to radio
from back in the day or whatever, right?
I mean, I'm just saying so.
I refuse to use technology as areason why people are
disrespectful or negative.
I actually think a part of itthis is just my little opinion
is it goes back to what Tommywas saying this me, me, me thing

(19:32):
we really have.
Like, what's that thing?
Is it called pendulum?
Not pendulum?
But we've swung one way to theother.

Tommy Lee (19:40):
Scale.

Carmen Lezeth (19:42):
Yeah the scales are, but maybe it is pendulum, I
don't know.
You go from one into the next.
Pendulum is swinging.
Ok, so pendulum, right.
So I remember back in the daywhen I was younger.
It was really all about like,I'm of service, I'm in the way
I'm a kid, I need to be quiet, Ineed to really do my work
really, really hard and try, tryhard because I need to please

(20:04):
other people.
And then we're all like, no, weneed to have self-care, we need
to take care of ourselves, andI'm all good for that.
But the pendulum has swung theother way, where it's all about
me, me, me, me, me.
We have to get to a middleplace where you can both be
humble and be of service andtake care of other people and

(20:25):
love other people and considerother people, be considerate,
but also take care of yourselfand understand that you are
worthy and that you matter andthat you should have self-care.

Tony D. (20:38):
I agree, I agree you got to take care of yourself.
You got to take care ofyourself before you can take
care of anybody else.

Carmen Lezeth (20:44):
Wait, who did?

Tommy Lee (20:44):
Tommy, just talk to.
I was listening to you and Ihave Alexa playing in the
background and I thought she wasa little too loud so I didn't
want her to overtake whatanybody was saying.
I was like introduce honey.

Carmen Lezeth (21:00):
Introduce, we need to see who the person is.

Tommy Lee (21:03):
I asked him to just lower it.
We'll go, go go.

Rick Costa (21:06):
I thought it was the dog.

Carmen Lezeth (21:08):
I thought it was the dog too.
That's what I was saying.
Oh no, he already went to bed.

Tommy Lee (21:11):
Oh my God, he's so funny.
He looked at me and he's likeyeah, it's eight o'clock, let's
go.
And he stopped, and he lookedat me and he was like fine, and
he went and he curled up in thebed.

Rick Costa (21:21):
I'm done, I'm out.

Tommy Lee (21:21):
That's a good one Good talking, I'm actually more
upset.

Carmen Lezeth (21:27):
I mean, it's kind of the same thing.
I have no more patience fornegativity.
But it's also the lack ofconsideration of other people,
the way in which and I'll saythis till I'm blue in the face I
am so disgusted by don't getupset, tommy, but I'm done with
pet parents and pet parents whothen look at other people, other

(21:50):
human beings, like crap, likehomeless people Like I literally
watch every day when I'm herein California I watch people.
They have their dogs with theiroutfits on or they're in the
carriage or whatever, and theywalk by a homeless person who is
minding their own damn business, just trying to whatever exists
, and just the nastiness, justyou can feel the energy.

(22:14):
I'm over it.

Tommy Lee (22:16):
It's kind of like, that's kind of how I feel about
soccer moms.

Carmen Lezeth (22:20):
With their.
They don't exist anymore.
Is that just the?

Tommy Lee (22:23):
Oh, believe me, they're out there with their
baseball caps and the ponytailthrough the back, and they got
their jogging suit on their pinkjogging suit and drinking their
latte.

Carmen Lezeth (22:34):
It's not a latte.
It's usually in the thing, it'sall like yeah, we all know what
it is.

Tommy Lee (22:39):
It's not a latte.

Tony D. (22:40):
The cappuccino.

Carmen Lezeth (22:42):
Yeah, it's a cappuccino.
Extra from Starbucks.
Oh, wait so we are soccer moms,now Karen's.
Is that what they are?

Tommy Lee (22:50):
Yes, Some are.

Tony D. (22:52):
Yes, some of them are yes.

Carmen Lezeth (22:53):
And that's a good point that you just brought up
See how things involve, howthings change, oh, from soccer
moms, soccer moms, and now Right, I mean I guess the Karen thing
is people that want to talk toyour manager and they just don't
have any patience or whatever.
But isn't being a soccer mom anegative thing, or is it not?
Because I don't know what asoccer mom is Originally no.
Ok.

Tony D. (23:13):
That a stay at home mom is doing everything with the
kids and the father's alwaysbusy working.
Correct Originally.

Carmen Lezeth (23:18):
Originally OK, and then it evolved into
something else.

Tony D. (23:22):
It evolved into somebody who's looking to live
their life and I want to say asa dependent of their spouse
which is cool because you'redoing something with the kids.
But some of them want to bedrama gossiping.
They pretty much want to dotheir board and they need
something to do.
That's what they start doingthe camera crap.

Carmen Lezeth (23:39):
Right, cynthia just said Starbucks with
Bailey's.
Hey, whatever works, baby, notwhat I hear you.

Tony D. (23:46):
So they all drink your white Russians.

Tommy Lee (23:48):
I mean, let's face it , if we could all stay home and
be independently wealthy, I'mpretty sure we'd all do it,
wouldn't we?

Tony D. (23:54):
Yes, those of us that have worked absolutely.
Yeah.

Carmen Lezeth (23:57):
OK, here's what I'll say.
I feel like, just because Iknow so many ridiculously
wealthy people, that is anactual recipe for disaster,
Because at some point you getbored, you have nothing to do
and then you start nitpickingover the stupidest thing, so you
have to find something to dowith your life.
That's what I tell people.
It's not about money.
I know so many rich people Ihave never in all my life and

(24:20):
I've been here now 30 years thisAugust I'll be here 30 years
and I've worked for so old oilmoney, self-made millionaires
who have nothing to do with theindustry, Hollywood celebrities
who had nothing, or whatever, orour Nepo children or whatever
you call them, whatever.
I swear to you on my mother'sgrave I would not trade my life

(24:42):
or my financial situation fornot one of them.
People, not one.
And I have two of them that Ithink of my favorite clients.
I still would not changeNothing Because I see money does
not make you happy.
It gives you choices, but itdoes not change the essence of
who you are in the world.

(25:03):
And do I think rich people canbe happy?
Sure, I'm not saying they'renot.
I'm just saying money comeswith a whole other lot of
problems, and if you're not OKwith who you are in the world, a
lot of money is not going tomake that better.

Tony D. (25:17):
That's the right level to go to with you, rick.
Go ahead.
Rick, I didn't want to cut youoff.
No, no, I wasn't saying thatYou're around the rich folks.
So for those of us who arearound the rich folks, let me
ask you this They've got themoney that we're fighting to get
.
Are they lonelier Mainlybecause they can't trust who
they're around?
Are they lonelier based on theknowledge that they have that we
don't?

Carmen Lezeth (25:37):
Tony, that's a great question.
I'll tell you this part, Ithink loneliness it runs the
gamut through everyone, right?
I mean, that's part of theproblem with social media and
people being so negative iswe're all pretending to have
these amazing lives with ourInstagram posts and our TikToks
or whatever, but at the end ofthe day, the truth is probably

(25:58):
something else, right?

Tony D. (26:00):
I think they're showing the good times of their lives
more than they're showing offwhat they don't have.

Carmen Lezeth (26:05):
Right, right.
So then we all start comparingourselves to the best parts of
Tony D, as opposed to actuallyknowing, maybe, what the truth
is, which is an entire thing.
So let me be clear.
The reason why I wouldn't trademy life with any of the rich
people that I have worked forall of them is because money

(26:26):
doesn't solve the problem.
I love who I am.
I love the person I've become.
I love everything I've doneright, I've learned from
everything I've done wrong and Ifeel really confident and
secure in who I am.
I don't think I can say thatabout a lot of the people that

(26:48):
are my clients.
It has nothing to do with moneyand everything to do with the
fact that money is a facade.
Money gives you choices.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not saying I would be likeoh, I want the lottery.
No, I must be living paycheck topaycheck and I wouldn't take it
.
I'm saying that money isn't thething that solves loneliness,

(27:12):
or actually most of the peopleI've met, especially in the past
.
I had some pretty interestingclients who grew up with money.
They had nannies.
Generational wealth is verydifferent than Hollywood wealth,
very, very different.
And I would say those were theloneliest people I've ever known
, because it's not even thatthey don't trust anybody, but

(27:33):
there's a Like.
It's sad when I think about it.
A lot of people thought I wastheir friend, like they were
paying me.
Of course I was going to listento you.
I wasn't interested but you werepaying me and I'm doing your
books or whatever, and if youwant to talk to me about what
your doctor said and yourdaughter and your son, and I'm

(27:53):
going to listen to you.
But they would be like, oh,you're such a good friend,
Carmen, and it was a weird thingbecause I'd be like, no, I know
where this is going.
We are not friends because theywould fire me in a heartbeat
tomorrow.

Tony D. (28:04):
That's true and that's your mentality on the aspect of
what you're doing.
I got that point.

Carmen Lezeth (28:07):
So money doesn't change loneliness or happiness,
or it doesn't give you medicalLike you would think, being able
to go to any medical doctor anddo whatever you want to do.
You know what?
My clients still died of cancer, suffered with whatever
diseases, like everyone else youknow, like all of these weird

(28:29):
things.

Tony D. (28:30):
I could do this for an hour.
I could really do this for anhour.
What for an hour?
Do what?
The question that I could askyou.
From the answer you have,because I don't know too many
people in that position, and alot of times when we bring up
questions about things, you'llnotice how me and Brian will be
like we know this, we know this.
You'll be like really, it'sboth sides of the equation.
The rich people you would thinkthey had to earn their way up

(28:53):
there.
When they get there, yourealize how many other people
aren't.
You're watching everybody elsego through what they're going
through.
Some of the loneliness is, Imean look it, I'm not trying
this.

Carmen Lezeth (29:04):
I'm just saying in my experience and I can say
I've worked with, I'm going tosay, over 40 extremely wealthy
people Over the years I've seenpeople who had nothing and then
made it big.
That's a whole other ball game.
You would think like, oh thereare the big ones.
No, money can be verymanipulative and powerful and

(29:27):
you create bumps along the way.
I'll tell you I worked foreveryone knows I worked for
brand new school and that was ayoung man who still has a
company now and is very wealthycomparatively to other people
like ourselves, and watching himgo from nothing and become so
successful was an extraordinarywindow of something.

(29:49):
I will never make mistakesBecause I learned from that.
If I ever have that opportunityto go that route, you know what
I mean Because I'm anenthusiast.

Tony D. (29:57):
It's not enthusiasm.

Carmen Lezeth (30:00):
Money has an ability because if you're not
mature enough to deal with it,it changes you.
Yes, right, because you thinknow you have power.
But money power is bullshitpower.
Real power has nothing to dowith money.

Tony D. (30:20):
I think it has due respect.

Carmen Lezeth (30:22):
That's all we done and that was a great show.
Thank you so much, but that isit.
If you respect someone, itdoesn't matter how much money
they have.
All of a sudden, that's a realdifferent kind of or somebody's
really smart and is able to doit.
Somebody's really smart and isable to teach you something.
You have respect for them.
That's going to trump any kindof money any day of the week.

Rick Costa (30:45):
There's too many people that believe that they're
broke or just wanted more, butthey think well, if I was rich,
I would be happy, and it's sonot true.

Tommy Lee (30:55):
You know it's funny.
You said that because this isthe third time money and
happiness has come up in thisconversation In different ways.
You just said it, kamen.
You said it earlier Money doesnot buy you happiness.

Carmen Lezeth (31:10):
And I love that.
I've had the experience because, like we say it as a cliche,
but I'm telling you I swear toyour mama there's gravy and I'll
never say that twice, but it isso factual, I've seen it up
close and personal.
And look, it's not to say thatwe shouldn't want to pursue to
have more money to pay somebills.
That would feel so good.
I am all for people makingwhatever money and developing

(31:33):
whatever they want andcreativity, and you know, you
get your paycheck, do what yougot to do.
But the people.
I'll tell you this one storythat's actually a cool one.
So I worked for this woman whowas very regretful of the way in
which she raised her children,because she raised her children
all with nannies, so all of herchildren are older than I am.

(31:55):
Okay, she has since passed away.
She was one of my favoriteclients because we ended up
getting really, really close.
I worked for her when I firstcame out here.
Then, when I got this big jobat brand new school, she helped
me with buying like designerclothing or whatever we be.
You know we had lunch orwhatever because I wasn't
working for her anymore, andthen afterwards I ended up.
She became one of my clients,again because she opened up a

(32:16):
nonprofit, you know anyways.
So you get the idea right.
So we did have kind of a morefriendly, different relationship
and she would talk to me aboutthings that she regretted, which
was that you know the way shegrew up and then the way her
children were raised and therewas a distance between her and
her children and it's palpable,you know what I mean.

(32:37):
It's so palpable.
And at the end of her life, youknow, she did this really
amazing, beautiful thing thatshe gave all of her money away
to charity.
Right, she had this foundationor whatever Her children who
would never want for anything,right, because you're talking
kind of like close to kind ofwarm buffet money.
Right, this is what we'retalking about in a way.

(32:58):
Right, we're so angry about it,angry about they would never.
I didn't touch their trustfunds, didn't do anything.
But the amount of anger andangst, what they did, you know,
because it was the principal tothem, it was.
You know, she did this to us,she didn't tell us and I was
like that is some weirdmotherfucking shit, like I would

(33:20):
have been so proud of my mother.
I would have been like, wow,you know what I mean, but and
it's to me, it will always stick.
And I mean there's so much moreI would say, but I don't want
to be too ghetto about it.
But they were also angry withthe staff that worked for her
because, well, we didn't knoweither.
It's not like she told us allwhat she was doing, but we were

(33:43):
so much closer to her than theywere at the end of her life and
they were so evil to everyone.
So I just I say this becausemoney is the root of all evil.
It doesn't have to be, but ifyou're not secure in who you are
, money has no friend or family.

(34:03):
True.

Rick Costa (34:04):
It's the love of money.
That's the root of money andthat's why he's pointing at me,
because he knows I'm gettingvery safe Love of money.

Carmen Lezeth (34:08):
Oh, that was happening.
Love of money?
I don't know.
I mean, yeah, the love of money.
You're right, I think money isa tool and we should all want
the best tool possible.
You know what I mean.
That's how I have learned mylesson from all these people is
so many of the people that I'veworked for throughout the years
have such regrets.
Hey, ted, how you doing?

(34:30):
What's cream?

Tony D. (34:32):
He always moves everything around me cream Dalla
, dalla, bill y'all.

Carmen Lezeth (34:39):
Oh, ted Hicks is in the house.
He opened.
Me and Rick are always like why.

Tony D. (34:47):
That's why I'm here.

Carmen Lezeth (34:50):
But money should be used as a tool.
And because I handle so manypeople's money, I feel like I've
learned.
That is the lesson I've learnedis like, if you can see money,
whether you have it or you don'thave it, detach the emotional
part.
Tommy, I was telling you thisthe other day and I've told so
many people this story.
It's not a story, it's a saying.

(35:10):
You know, we all say, oh, moneydon't mean that to me, I don't
care about money.
Yes, you do, because whensomebody tries to offer you
money or somebody tries to helpyou, we all like no, no, no, no,
no.
We all get into a crazy funkabout it.
If you really don't give a fuckabout money, it's not going to
hit you emotionally, whetheryou're giving it, whether you're
receiving it, whether you'resharing it.

(35:32):
You know what I mean.
It's like that's kind of whatI'm trying to say.
I have worked so hard in my lifeto just realize that that's the
lesson I've learned.
I guess I had to learn it.
Working for all these people.
You know, people think they can, like this other client of the
day said to me what if I pay youmore money, will you stay?
Will you work a few more hoursa week for me.

(35:52):
I said what I want you can'tgive me.
I want more time.

Tony D. (35:57):
He doesn't know about to let him go.
I hope he's watching the show.
You know I said you went deepon them.
I got where you coming from,but you went deep on her.

Tommy Lee (36:07):
Really good point, like the reason.
Like I said earlier, you know Ihave certain rules and
regulations and standards.
I am not going to do an hourand a half drive into the city
and an hour to drop half drivebecause I need more time.
That's right.
That's four hours out of my day, you know.
I get up in the morning it'sdark.
I come home at night afterworking it's dark.

(36:27):
What do I do?
I'm kind of what quality oflife is that?
When I come home, I throw afrozen dinner in the microwave
because I'm too tired to cookanything.

Carmen Lezeth (36:40):
Why don't you just have your chef set up your
meals for the week?
Yeah right, no clients.

Tony D. (36:46):
You don't get enough of you, don't get enough value for
the time spent is what you'resaying.

Tommy Lee (36:51):
Exactly.

Tony D. (36:53):
So what if it was worth it?
So you had less hours, youstill had the same drive.
Would you do it?
Which goes back to what she wassaying about time.

Tommy Lee (37:00):
That's a really good question.

Tony D. (37:01):
I appreciate it and I'm asking seriously.
I've had jobs and I want tothrow this out there.
Yeah, it was only one time everI felt like the money wasn't
worth it.
I was making more money than Iever made before, I had debts
cleared, I had excess in thebank and then I got tired of the
job and that's when I wasdeployed overseas.
I was like I don't wanna behere anymore, I'd rather be home

(37:22):
.
I wish I could make this a home.
I just don't wanna be at thislocation.
So for a lot of people wherethe money isn't worth it, you're
not enjoying what you're doing.
Say you were to enjoy whatyou're doing.
And there are a lot of richpeople who get a kick out of
what they are doing, where themoney isn't a problem, but they
don't have a problem with themoney that they're making either
.
See, the two kind of coincided.
What Tommy's actually saying ishe's gotta put too much into

(37:44):
getting the money.

Tommy Lee (37:45):
I look at it this way .
And the situation I was in.
I was making really good moneyworking in the city.
I didn't have to want foranything.
The problem was I never had anytime to do anything.
Yes, I couldn't take a vacationbecause I had to be there.
I didn't have the time to spend, to just, even on a weekend, go

(38:09):
shopping because, well, myphone's gonna ring and we need
you to come in.
Things like that.

Tony D. (38:15):
I was 21, moved out of my home for the first time, was
working two jobs.
I had money in the bank and notime to spend it because I was
too tired to go anywhere.
Exactly so I fully understandwhat you're saying and, mind you
, I only had an extra $250 inthe bank at the time, which
isn't a lot of money, but forsomebody who was single, with no
kids, living in a usedapartment, driving a used car,

(38:36):
yeah, I was right.
Yeah, right, right, exactly so Idid it and especially, now at
my age, the things you was ableto get a job that paid you what
you was worth and you had timeon your hands.
I think you would get somethingout of some of the
comfortability rich people haveIf they are living that
comfortably and, based on whatCarmen is saying, a bunch of
them aren't.

Tommy Lee (38:57):
I agree with Cynthia.
No job is worth your mentalhealth.

Tony D. (39:01):
I agree too, by the way .

Carmen Lezeth (39:03):
Tommy Cynthia is the one who loves you.
She's like he is so cute andadorable.
I love him.
I love him.
I sent him she can't wait tomeet you.
You'll meet her.
She's on our show.
She's my cousin.
She's actually my cousin.

Tony D. (39:17):
She's your cousin, yeah , cynthia.

Carmen Lezeth (39:19):
She's my cousin.

Tony D. (39:21):
Y'all do look similar, though Y'all do laugh the same.

Carmen Lezeth (39:23):
We don't look similar at all because we have
differences.
I told you we don't have afamily tree, we have a family
bush.
Bush, we don't look like it wasyeah.
I know I'm not saying thatpeople.
Rick, why don't you chime in?
You didn't say no.

Rick Costa (39:35):
I was going to say if you can't enjoy life, I don't
care how much money you throwat me.
If I'm miserable, I don't wantyour money.

Carmen Lezeth (39:41):
Yeah.
I'm not saying people arewalking around miserable who are
rich.
I'm just saying I do know acouple of people that I think
handle money well, you know whatI mean.
These two individual peoplehappen to earn their money.
They grew up really poor.

Tommy Lee (39:58):
You know working in human resources, not to cut
anybody off, but no true wordshave ever been said Like I've
looked at people that I'veworked with.
You get to know them and youcan tell their stress, whatever
the case may be, whether it'sabout money or a home situation
or a personal thing.

(40:18):
Whatever I've actually said topeople, you know what Go home,
Take tomorrow off.
Go home, Take tomorrow off,Decompress, We'll pay you for
the day.
My boss is looking at me likeare you kidding me?
Right now I'm like no, that'slegal Work with me.
It's legal.

Rick Costa (40:33):
Please work with me, and that's a good boss.

Tommy Lee (40:37):
I mean, I don't do it for everyone.
I do it for the people who Iknow deserve it.

Tony D. (40:42):
Agreed.

Tommy Lee (40:43):
Well, look, here's the thing.

Carmen Lezeth (40:44):
This is my mantra .
I always tell my clients yourcommodity is not whatever it is
you think you're creating.
Your commodity is the peoplewho work for you.
I don't care what you'recreating, I don't care what you
think you're putting out in theworld.
If the people aren't thereworking, doing what they got to
do, you have nothing to sell.
Yes, so you're absolutely onpoint.
I mean that's.

(41:05):
You know, I have thisconversation all the time and
again.
I have no patience anymore.
So I just tell my clients, likeeither you trust me or you
don't.
So if this person needs a dayoff and they're not feeling well
and they're sitting heresuffering, first of all I don't
want to get whatever it isthey're sniffling about.
That's number one.
Number two they are exhausted,they are tired, they are doing

(41:27):
half-assed work which is costingyou more money.
Dumbass Like.
I get no patience for myclients, the more or the less.

Tommy Lee (41:36):
The reason why I brought that up and the reason
why I and I said this to my bossafterwards.
I said you know, you get threebereavement days when somebody
passes away.
Yes, where my mother passedaway, I got three days off.
Wow, wow.
I went back to work.
I was not emotionally ready togo back to work.

(41:58):
I just lost my mother Right andI was fine during the day.
I'll never forget it.
But everybody kept coming up tome saying I'm so sorry, I'm so
sorry, and I just kept hearingit over and over and over again
until I just lost it.
Yeah, and one of my really goodfriends, who I'm still good
friends with today, she's likeno, no, no, no, no, you're going

(42:19):
home.
She called up, she called downto our manager Wow, the big guy,
the big boy.
And he said tell him to comedown.
I went downstairs, went intohis office.
He said this is what's going tohappen.
You're going to go home andyou're going to take the rest of
the week off and then you callme when you're ready to come
back.
That's right, that's how itworks.
Never had I could have taken awhole week off, right, but it

(42:43):
was like so I had a couple ofweekdays and then the weekend
off to regroup and I called him.
And I called him at homebecause I had his home phone
number and I said I'm ready tocome back to work.
And it's the little things likethat that you do for people
that people appreciate.
And that was one of the mostimportant lessons that I learned

(43:05):
in my career and that's why Isaid to my boss listen, her
cousin just died of a massiveheart attack at 54 years old.
He went to sleep and never wokeup.
I know it's not immediatefamily, but let's cut some slack
here.

Tony D. (43:20):
Right, you know what the job gave you.
The job gave you respect.

Tommy Lee (43:23):
Going back to what you said, respect.

Carmen Lezeth (43:27):
Stephen said I've seen my manager cry at work
from the stress of hire bosses.

Tony D. (43:31):
That makes sense when I worked at my company.

Carmen Lezeth (43:33):
I cried in my office almost every day, every
day, and my assistants wouldcome in and they would be like,
can we get you anything?
They were so stressed because Iwas like a basket case.
I actually ended up going tothe hospital.
This was that brand new school,I don't even mind mentioning it
.
We were right at the beginningof becoming really, really big
and I ended up having, I didn'tknow.

(43:56):
Ben walked into the office.
He was one of the designers atthe time creative directors and
he was like what's wrong withyour face?
And I had this whole side of myface was like hanging down.

Tony D. (44:06):
I didn't know, stroke they got it, so they rushed to
the hospital.

Carmen Lezeth (44:11):
It was palsy.
What is it?
How do you say?

Rick Costa (44:13):
it.
That was palsy.
Yeah, my mom's had it twice.

Carmen Lezeth (44:15):
Yeah, and here's the thing I should have quit.
Then I stayed four more yearsand the stress just got crazy.
I was flying back and forth.
You know it was ridiculous, butyeah, I would cry in my office
all the time.

Tommy Lee (44:29):
Another word I'd like to bring up.
We talked a lot about respecttonight.
Another word I'd like to bringup and we don't have to, because
I know we're short on time, butmaybe the next time Compassion.
Compassion for each other,human beings, people in general,
compassion for our elders,compassion for younger people
coming up Ooh, that's a good one.

Carmen Lezeth (44:51):
Can we talk about that?
Yeah, there needs to beCompassion for younger people.

Tony D. (44:55):
Put it on the list.
It needs to be mutual.
It needs to be mutual betweenboth sides, 100%.

Carmen Lezeth (45:02):
But does it.
I mean you can't expect it toalways be mutual.
You have to be the person to doit so that other people will
start to learn to do it.
It's not going to be mutualbecause people are not doing it.

Tommy Lee (45:15):
But don't we always?
Go back to saying the samething that if you want to be
respected, you have to earnrespect and you have to give
respect.
Yes, mutual, Is that whatyou're saying?

Tony D. (45:27):
Yes, sir.

Carmen Lezeth (45:29):
OK, ok, I'm going to say it this way, like if I
don't know you, because ninetimes out of 10 when I walk into
an office, I don't know anybodythere I'm going to respect you.
I don't need you to earn it.
I respect you because you are ahuman being, but you will lose
it very quickly if you choose toact like an asshole, and that's

(45:54):
where it gets a little bitharder.
That's what I'm saying.
Like sometimes you do have tothen turn around and be
compassionate anyways.
Like I might not have respect.
The reason why I bring this upis I'm having an issue right now
with a certain person.
I have compassion for theirsituation, but I have no respect
for them whatsoever.
Like I'm done.

(46:15):
I'm done with them.
I'm done.

Tommy Lee (46:18):
Thanks, impassion.
I respect our two different.
And that's why I said that'sanother subject to talk about,
to bring up at the next.

Carmen Lezeth (46:26):
Look at the sassy , carmen will come up.
Hey, you know.

Tommy Lee (46:32):
Carmen knows that I can get ghetto.

Carmen Lezeth (46:36):
She didn't say ghetto, she said sassy.

Tommy Lee (46:39):
I know.
But I'm saying you know, I canget ghetto, it is ghetto, it is.

Carmen Lezeth (46:44):
I'm going to say that sassy.
I read in a book Compassion forOthers is the key to joy.

Tony D. (46:50):
I like that.
I like that.

Tommy Lee (46:54):
I like that.
That's a nice motto right there.

Carmen Lezeth (46:59):
I'm writing a book on all about the joy, so
I'm just going to keep quiet.
I just can't wait for that.
Wait, what's that?
What's that?
Thumbs up thing.

Tommy Lee (47:08):
She liked what I said .
She agrees with me.

Tony D. (47:10):
I like what you come up with.

Carmen Lezeth (47:12):
I've never seen that before.
Who did that?

Tony D. (47:14):
I've seen it happen there, oh yeah.

Tommy Lee (47:16):
They're like little emojis.

Carmen Lezeth (47:18):
OK, I'm so confused right now.
Rick, have you seen that before?

Rick Costa (47:23):
I didn't even see it now.
No, I didn't see anything, soon.

Carmen Lezeth (47:26):
Tommy's screen.
Somebody did like a bubble anda thumbs up and I've never seen
that.
I guess nobody likes us, rick,that's why I like Tommy.
And when we say they, we know,it's just you know.

Tony D. (47:38):
I've been on that podcast before and it's popped
up in the rooms I was on on theother app too.
That's something new thateverybody's computers are.

Carmen Lezeth (47:45):
I don't get it, but is it restream or is it
YouTube?
That's my question.

Tony D. (47:50):
I've seen it on Tantino .

Carmen Lezeth (47:52):
Oh, so it's probably YouTube.
It's probably YouTube then.

Tommy Lee (47:55):
Yeah, but we're on restream though, so we don't
think that I know you can do iton Zoom, and there's another
platform you can do it on too,because we used to do it at work
all the time, maybe.

Rick Costa (48:06):
I just did it too Sick of laughing.
We interrupted this whole thingfor some pop up screen stuff,
Because it was cool, I know itwas Cynthia.

Carmen Lezeth (48:18):
No, I'm just kidding with you, Cynthia.
Cynthia's married and Tommy islovely, but Tommy's not going to
love us.
Cynthia and I go talk later.

Tommy Lee (48:33):
I'm bleeding.
I'm bleeding.

Carmen Lezeth (48:36):
I'm bleeding the fives.
I'm bleeding the fives.
I'm bleeding the fives Child.
We all tried when we wereyounger.
We knew it was over, there wasno possibility.

Rick Costa (48:48):
When Stephen said compassion for others is a key
to joy, it makes me think ofanother very famous person that
said it's better to give than toreceive.

Carmen Lezeth (48:56):
Don't even try to put Jesus all over you.
In your sly, motherfucking way.
I didn't even say his name, youdid.
Don't even try to sneak in hislittle Jesus shit.
Keeps him $500,000.

Rick Costa (49:09):
I tried too.

Carmen Lezeth (49:12):
I don't want it because it's the truth, not alot
, but I learned from your moronright, gotta tuvoeder pit
depends upon what being is.
I actually think we need to allget better about receiving.

(49:35):
You need to be able to receivein grace.
You know how insulting it iswhen you try.
Imagine you get a gift together.
You really put your heart andsoul into it because you wanna
help somebody, you wanna givesomebody something, and you give
it to them and they're like ohno, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
Thank you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,no.
And they have to fight.

Tony D. (49:56):
I'm gonna write this one down for the next topic too.
Write this one down as well,for the next question.

Carmen Lezeth (50:00):
Why are you trying to make me write this
down?

Tony D. (50:01):
No, no, no, no, no, because you brought up a good
point.
It's gonna be a greatconversation.

Carmen Lezeth (50:05):
But I do think it .
Well, I don't know.

Tommy Lee (50:07):
Oh, no, no, no, I see where Tony's going with this.

Carmen Lezeth (50:09):
I'm on board with you.
Why, tell me now we should havea minute.

Tony D. (50:12):
Nope, write it down, you don't have time, that's it
next week Polished, mm-mm.

Tommy Lee (50:17):
Polished, even though it's going.
Tony, cheers to you Even thoughI'm drinking water, but cheers
to you, we're on the same page.

Tony D. (50:24):
I will admit it's the way we made tonight.
That's gonna be a greatbroadcast when we bring up a
conversation.
Same way.
Tony's been honest and it willcorrelate.
You will enjoy it.
See, we're working with you.
We're working with you.

Carmen Lezeth (50:35):
Okay, I just feel like y'all hurting my feelings
and oh.

Tony D. (50:39):
We got you, don't you worry about it?

Carmen Lezeth (50:41):
No, no, all right .
Well, I don't know, rick, areyou in on this too with the boys
?

Rick Costa (50:44):
No, I was gonna say that I freely admit I'm maybe
one of those that has a littlebit of an issue of receiving and
I'm like just be happy, enjoyit, stop feeling guilty or
whatever it is I'm thinking of.

Carmen Lezeth (50:57):
I tell you where it comes from for me, Cause this
will put a twist on it.
This is gonna put a twist on it, and I don't mean to make
anyone feel bad.
The reason why I believe thisin my heart of hearts is my
mother died at 49 because shedidn't ask for help, and I find
it hard to believe, even thoughI don't remember her that well
at all.
I'm not gonna sit and pretendlike I remember whatever.

(51:18):
I cannot believe.
If she was even one-tenth ofthe woman that people told me
she was, that I believe that shewas just even one-tenth that
there weren't people aroundtrying to say to her let me help
you, Let me help you out withthis, Let me do something for
you.
Is there something I'm notsaying?
There's probably a lot ofpeople.
It was a different time, right,it was a different time.

(51:40):
But when you grow up knowingthat your mother died of a
really stupid, stupid issue shedied of a cardiac arrest due to
asthma, something that even backthen could have been taken care
of and when you realize someonedied so young, you start to
rethink.
And also, and again and youknow me, I'm never gonna prop up

(52:05):
my book my whole book is aboutpeople reaching out and seeing a
little kid and saying let mehelp you, and me saying, yes, I
mean begrudgingly as a kid, butstill like you know what I mean.
You have to be able to receiveyou have to.

Tommy Lee (52:22):
Can I tell you something that I don't think you
know?
Oh God, Okay, go ahead.
You know Michael.
You know Michael Bonanno, right?

Carmen Lezeth (52:31):
Okay, let's go with yes.

Tommy Lee (52:33):
Okay, I'm actually with him in St Anthony's.
He taught St Anthony's, hetaught Abelarrows Michael.
He's good friends with JerryOkay go ahead.
He's also a school teacher.
Okay, for summer reading, hegave all his students your book
to read.

Rick Costa (52:51):
No way Wow.

Tommy Lee (52:54):
Yes, he did.
Wow, I should know who he is.

Carmen Lezeth (52:58):
And he said I know you need Facebook.

Tommy Lee (53:02):
I need to see a face.

Carmen Lezeth (53:03):
We have this comment.
I need a name.

Tommy Lee (53:05):
I have a picture of him somewhere.
I have a picture of himsomewhere, I'll show you.

Rick Costa (53:08):
That's cool, he's not on Facebook.

Tommy Lee (53:10):
He is on Facebook actually.

Carmen Lezeth (53:12):
Why didn't he tell me?
You know, I was doing speakingevents in Boston before the
pandemic.
I was so excited I did three.

Tommy Lee (53:19):
Yeah, don't recall my phone ringing.

Carmen Lezeth (53:21):
Hmm, no, no, I, oh my God, oh my God.

Rick Costa (53:26):
He said no, no.

Carmen Lezeth (53:28):
I went to do speaking events because of my
book and then the pandemic hit.
But I did not know that.

Tommy Lee (53:34):
I didn't know that.
I know I didn't think you knewit, but I was like you know what
I feel like I need to tell her.

Carmen Lezeth (53:40):
Yeah, it's great that you told me live and.

Tommy Lee (53:43):
I don't know, I totally do you should have told
me live, but I have no idea whoit is I want you to think of it,
and I know you're not going tothink about this, because when
they came back and he, you know,discussed it with his class,
how many lives do you think youmay have changed?

Tony D. (54:01):
She's about to blush.
I can't wait.
She's about to blush.
Think about that.

Rick Costa (54:07):
It's like that movie , it's a wonderful life.
You have no idea, carmen, can Itell you something?

Carmen Lezeth (54:11):
Oh my gosh.

Tony D. (54:12):
Your book is going to do what you told us to end in
this one it's going to beforever.

Carmen Lezeth (54:16):
There's this new thing here on this program where
I can turn around and I canblock you all off easily.

Rick Costa (54:23):
Look at Cynthia.

Tony D. (54:25):
I didn't see that in for a car.
You didn't see this one.
You were the one who told me tobe careful how I come across
and how I be careful to projectmyself and look at the impact
you had that you didn't eventhen realize.
Go ahead and cry.
What is it you want me to do?
Go ahead and cry.

Carmen Lezeth (54:43):
No, wait, wait, wait.
Here's the thing.
What is it that you?
I didn't know that Michael didthat.
I feel bad.
I don't remember who he is, soI need you know.
I talked to Tommy on the phone,which you could have shared
this on the phone with me, butthat's OK.

Tony D. (54:55):
Good job, Tommy Cheers.

Carmen Lezeth (54:57):
Just saying like I need you know, there's a lot
of people that I don't remember,for a very real reason.
There was a lot of people backthen that were around us and
watching us perform and workingwith us and that we were part of
groups with.
Like I don't remember everyone.

(55:18):
You were young and I was young,I was really young.
So I'm feeling bad, like here'sthe thing I don't want to be.
Of course, I know how manypeople's lives yeah, I'm not
going to say that I know howmany people have affected me and
helped change my life and myhope and my try and my goal
every day is to be the bestperson I possibly can and give

(55:42):
back and pay it forward Becauseand that's what we're talking
about, right?
People were so compassionateabout me.
These are blue-collar workingpeople who didn't have extra
money, who didn't have extrapresents at Christmas, who
didn't have extra food to giveaway, who didn't have extra
money to go buy clothes orcostumes, makeup, all the things

(56:05):
, all the dance shoes, all thethings we needed, leotards,
whatever and you know what?
All these people Lara Wall is agreat example.
Lara Wall's family.

Tommy Lee (56:14):
Yeah.

Carmen Lezeth (56:15):
Turned around and they saw a kid and turned
around and said you know what?
We're going to make sure shehas a Christmas.
We're going to make sure shehas a couch.
They didn't have an extra guesthouse or guest room or a pool
house and I am always going tobe grateful for that.

Tommy Lee (56:32):
They were always known as the walls and they will
always be known as the walls.

Carmen Lezeth (56:37):
Yeah, the walls.

Tommy Lee (56:38):
They were always known as the walls, and I was
circle.
Everybody says, oh yeah, thewall, oh yeah, you know they
were amazing.
Everybody knows the walls.

Carmen Lezeth (56:48):
But I mean, I will receive compliments and
that's kind of a different thinglike what you guys are.
It's not that I get bashfulabout my book.
The reason why I don't push mybook is because for me it wasn't
meant to be a book, so in a wayit feels like a fraud.
I tried to explain this to Rickand Rick you understood what I
was trying to say.
I wrote the book, I wroteletters to individual people,

(57:12):
someone told me to make it intoa book and so I did.
Gotcha.

Tony D. (57:16):
But it wasn't an intention.

Carmen Lezeth (57:18):
It was not, jerry .

Rick Costa (57:20):
It was a thank you to the people in your life.

Tommy Lee (57:22):
Jared.
I'm sorry, I didn't say Jerry,I said Jared.

Carmen Lezeth (57:28):
Oh, that's the Names will be changed to protect
, right.
I don't remember everybody'snames I changed it to, but Jerry
is Jared right, is it Jaredyeah?
Now I had to change namesreally fast because legally I
wasn't going to go findingeverybody to do it.

Tommy Lee (57:44):
When I read that chapter I was like she's talking
about Jared.
I know she's talking about it.

Carmen Lezeth (57:49):
People who knew, knew their chapters, or the
people that we were talkingabout.

Rick Costa (57:53):
Change names, change genders.

Carmen Lezeth (57:55):
Yeah, well, no, that was just one person who's
gender.
And then she was mad at mebecause I did.
I'm like you want to beanonymous all the time and now I
do it in the book and you getmad.
So I was like I can't wineither way.
And actually I just spoke toher the other day.

Rick Costa (58:10):
That was so funny, but If I understand correctly,
it was more like thank you toall the people that were there
for me and help me out.
That's really what the book wasabout.

Tommy Lee (58:19):
Yes, that's what I got out of it.

Carmen Lezeth (58:21):
Yes, that's what the book was about 100%.
Yeah, and I'm writing the secondbook to Canela and have a name
for it Not going to tell you,but I do have a great name for
it and surprise us.
I like surprises, yeah.
And then it's a much moreintentional story and it's about
what happens next.
And again, see, now, if I had alot of money, that's what I

(58:43):
would spend my time doing forthe next three months.
Like if I had enough money tocover for the next three to six
months my rent, my food,whatever, like what I'm making
now, and I could leave myclients.
I would, just, I would.
I would have two shows a week.
You know what I mean.
I would hook us up doing whatwe're doing.
I would turn around and thenjust work on these two books the
All About the Joy book and thecontinuation to Canela, because

(59:07):
it's so hard to do it whenyou're working 40, 50 hours a
week?
Right, and that's what moneygives you is choices and
opportunity.
You know it's not going to makeme happy, but four day weekend,
at least for some people.

Rick Costa (59:20):
You know Thanksgiving we had to off
whatever.
I was like I'm able to sleep.
Now more I, my mind is in abetter place, my creative juices
were flowing when I'm like, ohwow, I got all these ideas I
didn't even realize I didn'thave because I was so tired of
the time.

Tony D. (59:35):
I'm not the creative juices flowing.
Even when I do my broadcast, Itry to do until I can feel a
comfortable vibe to put outthere what I want to put out
there.
And I've always told, I'vealways said that before.
So I get that entirely.
You don't have a relaxationmoment and, rick, I know you got
more going on to just work onthis.
So the trip that you have goingon to work just being on the
issue no disrespect, you knowwhat I'm saying.

Carmen Lezeth (59:57):
Yeah, oh, are we hiding something?

Tony D. (59:59):
Well, we don't put a lot out there, but we know
what's going on.
You and I both know what'sgoing on, Rick.
I'll start a work.

Carmen Lezeth (01:00:04):
I'm so confusion.
What are we talking about?
His mom keep it offline.

Tony D. (01:00:09):
Thank you, that's all.
He talks about it all the time.
I let him talk about it.

Carmen Lezeth (01:00:15):
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Is that what we're talkingabout, not the time of the place
?

Tony D. (01:00:19):
The money.

Carmen Lezeth (01:00:20):
He talks about it all the time.

Tony D. (01:00:22):
So in my opinion, yes oh.

Carmen Lezeth (01:00:24):
OK, ok, tommy Rick takes care of his mom.
We all know.

Tommy Lee (01:00:28):
Oh.

Carmen Lezeth (01:00:29):
I know that Now, I do know.
I know.
That's why I'm confused.
Why are we keeping it?

Tommy Lee (01:00:33):
Well, you know my respect level for Rick just went
up 10 more points yeah.
I have a lot of respect for ason who takes care of his mother
because, believe me, I did itfor many, many years.

Carmen Lezeth (01:00:45):
I know what it's like.
It's not hiding a differentthing.

Rick Costa (01:00:49):
No, no, no, no.
And dementia is no joke.

Tommy Lee (01:00:52):
Oh, that's even worse .

Carmen Lezeth (01:00:53):
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now I feel bad, like I feellike I have a little club in
shit and you guys don't likehave all these secrets, like
doing very alone.

Tony D. (01:01:04):
We have broken into the world, just stop.

Carmen Lezeth (01:01:08):
I feel like I made connections with people and
now I'm being left out of thegroup.
No, all right, we're going tojump off because you have
another show, tony D.

Tony D. (01:01:20):
I do not.

Carmen Lezeth (01:01:22):
Yes, it's going to be on at 7 15.

Tony D. (01:01:24):
Just have the message.

Rick Costa (01:01:24):
You won't be able.

Carmen Lezeth (01:01:26):
Oh, so we're going for another hour Just we
are not going to be on foranother hour.

Tommy Lee (01:01:30):
I have to go.

Tony D. (01:01:33):
Yes, he has to do so.
He said he won't be able tomake it, so I need to you know,
I just have to do the rest yes.

Carmen Lezeth (01:01:41):
Oh, baby.
Ok, no, you don't.

Rick Costa (01:01:43):
Are we in the book?

Carmen Lezeth (01:01:45):
Are we in the book of volume number two?

Tony D. (01:01:49):
Oh hell to the world I would be in it.

Carmen Lezeth (01:01:53):
Hell to the no Lord.
I'm happy people.
That's a whole book all byitself.

Tony D. (01:01:59):
Yes, it's a movie.
It's a movie, trust me.

Rick Costa (01:02:01):
Yeah, it's the DVD extra specials that come out
later.

Carmen Lezeth (01:02:06):
So before we go, let me just say a few things,
first of all, to my guests.
Thank you so much.
My cohosts, I adore you.
Rick Costa, tony D Thank you.
Tony D is going to be on theshow on a regular basis, right?
We're doing it once a month,third Thursday of the month.
We'll see you then, tommy,welcome to the show, and I'm so
glad and you're going to try tojump on even next week, right

(01:02:27):
with with the other crew, if wecan get you in.
So I'm going to have Tommy popin when he can.
So, thank you so much.
I also want to give a shout outto a few other people.
I want to say thank you toeverybody on Facebook who joined
today.
I don't know what happened.
Something happened where abunch of people just joined the
Facebook page.
Very grateful, very gratefulfor a couple of people who

(01:02:48):
joined on YouTube.
Thank you.
And you know I'm going to givemy shout out to my LinkedIn
people.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
We're getting a lot of people.
That's it, thank you everyone,and remember it's all about the
joy and we'll see you next week.
Goodbye, everyone, see younight.

Tony D. (01:03:02):
all Peace y'all.

Carmen Lezeth (01:03:04):
Thanks for stopping by.
All about the joy Be better andstay beautiful.
Folks have a sweet day.