Why We Paused For A Bit: Celebrating Life in the Midst of Such Loss

Have you ever danced through tears? Recently, I was reminded of life’s uncanny ability to blend both sorrow and joy in the same moment. We lost Patty Ann, an unexpected blow that threw us all into an emotional whirl. Yet this storm of feelings was punctuated by rays of joy as I flew back east, joining my family in a celebration of her life. United in our grief, we found solace in moments of laughter, singing, and dancing to Patty Ann's favorite tunes from Motown and Donna Summer, her favorites - all providing a backdrop for our collective memory of how lovely life can be. 

I’d also like to express my heartfelt gratitude to you, my faithful listeners and viewers. In life, we all sail through rough tides, but it's in these times that we need to remember to keep our focus on the joy that life brings. Let's celebrate the beauty of belonging to a family, a community, a supportive network of friends. I invite you to join me as I share personal reflections on the ways in which even in the toughest times, we can find beauty and joy. 

Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. You can also support us by shopping at our STORE - We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.

Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth


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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everyone, welcome to All About the Joy the podcast
version.
I'm Carmen Miesette, your host,and let me start off with an
apology yes, we are a day latein posting the episode and the
reason why.
First, let me back up and say Iknow that this is becoming

(00:20):
something because people reachedout to me when the podcast
episode didn't drop on Sunday asit normally does, so thank you
for that.
It makes it feel like a realthing.
It's not that I think this is ahobby, but I feel doing the
live stream on Thursday nightswith Rick Costa and also all of
our friends who are joining inand guests that we have, is

(00:44):
something that I need to bedoing because it is part of who
I am.
I love Hollywood, I love thistown, I love performing, I love
being around people, and so thiswas my way of manifesting all
of that by just taking controlof it.
I was like maybe there's goingto be one or two friends of mine
who are listening in on thepodcast, but I realize now that

(01:07):
so many of you are being sosupportive, so thank you.
I do not have a huge staff ofpeople, so I did post that I
would be taking a pause thisweek I did not post something on
the podcast, so my apologies.
In the future I will do better.
But let me also just say thatthe reason that I took the pause

(01:28):
is because I lost a familymember this past Monday.
If you have ever read my booknot that I'm promoting that at
the moment, but if you did readmy book, I talk about the
Lowell's as the chapter heading.
I believe it's like page 93.
Their real name is the Martins,and the twins, mary and Joanne,

(01:49):
are friends of mine who I grewup with in grammar school and in
high school and their parentsbecame my godparents.
I think it was sophomore yearin high school.
I asked them to be mygodparents because I had never
been baptized.
I'm not very religious and Iwasn't back then either, but it
was part of needing a connectionand also it was for me.

(02:14):
It was becoming officially partof family in some way, shape or
form, and they were always justthere for me.
And Patty Ann, who is the oldest, passed away unexpectedly last
Monday.
It was heart-wrenching and sadand this is someone I loved and

(02:37):
it's just an interesting dynamicthat happens and I have to tell
you and yeah, my Boston accenthas become a little bit more
pronounced this week because Iwas around so many Bostonians.
It was awesome.
Even I could hear my accentchange.
That was like at one point Ijust started laughing out loud
because I could hear my Rs justdisappearing within 20 minutes.

(03:01):
It was hilarious.
But I took a pause this weekbecause I had to and I don't
feel bad about it.
I hope in the future that whenI have a bigger staff or we have
the ability money-wise to hiremore people, maybe we'll do a
better job of just postingsomething when we have to take a

(03:21):
pause.
But please know you can alwaysgo to wwwaatjoycom, which is all
about the joycom, and you cancheck out our Instagram.
You can check out Facebook,linkedin.
I'll always have postedsomething like a little poster
that says where we're at, at thevery very least.

(03:43):
So I do apologize to podcastlisteners who did not know where
I was or what was happening,but thank you for reaching out
to me because it did make mefeel like, oh my God, other
people are listening.
So yes, Patti Ann passed awayunexpectedly on Monday.
I flew out immediately and wasthere for most of the week and I

(04:11):
just got back a minute ago.
So I am now doing this with nosleep whatsoever, so you can
hear it in my voice, but I wantto make sure I posted something,
because I did get some emailsand some text messages.
So thank you for your concern.
I am fine and the family isokay.
And here's what I learned andhere is what I love.

(04:31):
It was a sad, unexpectedsituation and her birthday had
been on Sunday.
She passed away on Monday.
We all know that she's in abetter place.
That's what we all know andbelieve and she's with mom and
dad and, uh, I think there'ssome happiness in that and even
though there was so much sadness, it was beautiful to see all of

(04:55):
her nieces and nephews, thecousins, who all get along so
well, all the kids who just loveeach other.
After the ceremony, memorialservice I don't wanna call it a
church service because it reallywasn't a church service, but
after all that was done andthere was sadness or whatever we
went and had food together andwe all ended up dancing and

(05:21):
singing to music and I at onepoint was because I'm not a big
drinker, I'm a lightweight.
Anyone who knows me like I wasdrinking wine coolers.
So at one point I was justsitting there watching at the,
you know, from a stool at thebar, and I was watching these
kids, these millennials butmostly Gen Z, you know like on

(05:42):
that cusp, and they knew everyMotown song.
They knew every song of DonnaSummer, which was a big favorite
of hers.
They knew all of these oldschool songs of their auntie and
I don't know why that shook meso much.
They were like you know, no, no, no, put this song on.
No, no, no, do this one next.

(06:04):
And it was so lovely.
At one point I felt like it wasgoing in slow motion.
I was watching kind of thisbeautiful sparkliness of all of
them laughing and singing andpraising and loving on their
aunt Patty and their sister, andit was just so amazing and I

(06:29):
thought to myself that is whatlife is all about.
Right, life is, as we all know,this amazing journey, and I'm
not gonna say that life is short.
I'm so sick of that clicheBecause you know what, sometimes
life feels really long.
You know what I mean.
Like sometimes it feels like,oh, my goodness, can we get
through this day?
But I think we've all just keephearing this like life is short

(06:51):
.
Life is short, but you know what, life is pretty magnificent and
when you're doing life right,it has these moments of sheer
sadness, sheer anger, joy,happiness.
It just has its ebbs and flowsand what I noticed for myself,

(07:14):
the most important part for meis being around people who love
fiercely.
You know, I didn't knoweverybody who was friends with
Patty Ann and with her husbandPaul, and I didn't know
everybody there.
I'd met them.

(07:35):
I've met people briefly,because when mom passed away I
was there as well, and so I metsome of these people.
But there were other peoplethere as well.
But what was amazing was itdidn't matter.
I did know that right, becausethere was such an infusion of
gratitude and memory sharing andacceptance, because we were all

(07:57):
there for a common reason.
And I started thinking aboutjust how life has this amazing
way of making us walk through somany different feelings and so
many different moments.
And it's not those moments thatmatter as much.
It's the moments in between andhow you're able to move along

(08:20):
anyway that matters.
And that's what I realizedright.
Who we are is always tested,not in the easiest of moments.
It's really simple to be agreat and wonderful human being
when you have everything youneed, but who are you when
things are hard, right?
How do you help another person,even if you're in pain?

(08:43):
How do you climb out of asituation?
Do you pull others up or do youpull them down into your sorrow
?
And all I saw was people tryingto help each other walk through
this moment and get to theother side and try to find joy
anyway.
And look at, there's gonna be alot of bumps along the way

(09:05):
after this, because she was 59,way too young.
It should have never happened.
And there's going to be momentsof pain and sorrow.
My mom passed away I don't evenknow.
Now 40 years, and I havemoments of anger and sadness and
then moments of elation and joy.

(09:25):
And we're talking it's 40 yearsalready, right, so I'm not
saying it's gonna be easy now,but what I do know for sure is
all about the joy really is athing, and sometimes, even when
I doubt myself, I am remindedthat the reason why I am able to
still be here today is because,no matter what has happened in

(09:48):
my life, no matter what momentshave brought me down, I have
always been able to be lifted upby beautiful, amazing people.
The Martins, for sure, are abig part of that from my
childhood and I love them somuch and I love this life that

(10:09):
we're on and how we're trying towalk through this pathway.
I feel so blessed to be able toshare some of my stories with
people because I hope in someway, shape or form, it uplifts
you too and it makes you thinkthat even if you think you're
alone that you're not, you don'tneed an abundance of people to
walk you through, you just needone.

(10:32):
And even if you don't have thatone person and this I do
remember as a kid as well thenyou find it in other ways.
You find it in a favorite movie, or you find it in a favorite
song you love, or you find it ina piece of literature that you
read over and over and overagain.
I used to read the Alchemist Istill do and the Prophet.

(10:53):
I used to read these books overand over and over again because
they gave me such strength,they gave me such possibility
and for a while there they werethe only things I could hold on
to.
And you walk yourself throughthe moments of hardship and you
find your way through, and thenyou make yourself available to

(11:13):
other people until you find yourpeople.
You find your people, becausewe all have people.
We all have the ability to havepeople.
So, anyways, patti and I loveyou so much.
To the Martins, who I've lovedmy whole life, thank you for
having me and for letting me bepart of your life and this

(11:35):
moment, and I will always behere for you, no matter what.
And to all of the Martinsfriends and families and all the
people I met and all the peoplewhose names I forgot that had
met before.
Thank you for your hugs andyour love and your acceptance
and your joy.
And listen to everyone else outthere who is listening to the

(11:56):
podcast that drops usually.
I didn't realize people werelistening to it on Sunday
mornings at 6am.
But thank you, I appreciate youso much and I will always try
to even just write a little fiveminute thing of something like
this happens again.
I'll do a little audio versionas well.
I didn't think anyone wouldeven miss it.

(12:18):
So thank you for yourunderstanding and my apologies,
and for those of you who arevisiting us on the live stream,
thank you so much.
Thursday nights, 6pm Pacifictime, and I am just grateful to
be here.
So have a blessed and beautifulday.

(12:39):
And yeah, I really, really meanit in this moment.
Please remember, it really isall about the joy.
Thanks for stopping by.
All about the joy Be better andstay beautiful folks.
Have a sweet day.