Maggie Smith is a poet & writer who found overnight fame when her poem, ‘Good Bones’, went viral on social media in 2016. Later on, her life was to take a further change when her husband of 19 years, and the father of her children, announced he wanted a divorce two years later. Her memoir, You Could Make This Place Beautiful, published in April 2023 – explores the connection between these two events, how become a hit writer led to the breakdown of her marriage – and what could be found in the disruption that followed it all. Throughout it all, Maggie’s love of creativity and solitude has been a constant – something she speaks to me about in this episode. We also talk about finding love in middle age, and the joy of a relationship that’s free from the pressure of milestones.
Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device.
Takeaways
- Alone time can be a positive and restorative experience, especially for creative individuals.
- Being in a relationship that is not working can be lonelier than being alone.
- Financial independence and self-sufficiency are important for personal empowerment.
- There is freedom in choosing a relationship without merging lives and milestones.
- Alone time is essential for creativity and self-reflection.
Chapters
00:00
Introduction and Small Talk
03:33
Exploring the Meaning of Alone
04:27
Aloneness as a Positive and Restorative Experience
05:24
The Irony of Being an Introverted Writer
06:24
The Challenges of Being an Introverted Writer in the Public Eye
08:15
Navigating Life After Divorce
09:43
The Loneliness of Incompatible Partnership
10:41
Living Alone vs. Living Without a Partner
11:36
The Myth of Partnership Solving Loneliness
13:29
The Shift in Attitudes Towards Being Alone
14:52
The Impact of Age on Relationship Choices
16:13
The Pressure to Settle Down and Have Children
17:32
Financial Independence and Self-Sufficiency
18:45
The Liberation of Not Racing Through Relationship Milestones
19:58
The Freedom of Choosing a Relationship Without Merging Lives
21:20
Balancing Independence and Vulnerability
22:48
The Lack of Cultural Models for Non-Traditional Relationships
23:44
The Beauty of Constant Companionship
24:43
The Negative Side of Hyper-Independence
25:39
The Importance of Alone Time for Creativity
27:29
Learning to Accept Help and Support
28:54
Returning to a Special Place for Solitude
31:43
The Restorative Power of Writing Alone
33:09
The Impact of Professional Success on Relationships
35:31
The Evolution of Creativity After Having Children
39:21
The Joy of Having Unstructured Alone Time
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