May 16, 2023 • 27 mins
Comparison is a silent killer in marriages. Being compared to someone else is never a good feeling. Comparison will slowly destroy your marriage from the inside out.
Join us for part 2 as we take an even deeper look into the pain of comparison.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Bryan (00:14):
Welcome to the Amplified Marriage Podcast.
We are onto part two of ourcomparison.
Episodes.
First one was a doozy.
We had fully intended to go onto something big and move on to
a few points.
We got just hooked onto one andwe had some really great
conversation.
You wanna go back and listen tothat, but we're excited that
(00:35):
you're here for this one.
Let's take a listen.
Natalie (00:53):
---Welcome to another episode of Amplified Marriage.
I'm Natalie.
And I'm Brian.
Wherever you are, whateveryou're doing, you hear us say
this every time.
Grab a snack, grab a coffee, siton the couch, grab a blanket.
We're so excited that you joinedus for our chat today.
Bryan (01:06):
As I said before, we are onto the second part of our
comparison podcast, and boy wasthe first one a good one.
Natalie (01:14):
Mm-hmm.
Kind of took an unexpected,lengthy turn right.
Yeah, I mean, we've got ourguidelines of kind of where we
wanna talk or what we wanna talkabout, and it kind of just took
legs of its own, which was areally good thing
Bryan (01:27):
actually.
Yeah.
And if it was one of those wefelt that we just kinda need to
press into that.
Mm-hmm.
Because there's a lot of thatkind of comparison where people
are comparing theirrelationships to other people's
relationships or comparing theirhusbands or their wives to other
husbands and wives that's reallycausing problems inside of
relationships.
Mm-hmm.
And so that was a really.
It was a really good one andwe're really looking forward to
(01:48):
having a, a chat about this one.
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (01:51):
So have you missed last time comparison creates
resentment was that one.
So if you missed it, go take alisten.
Today we're talking aboutcomparison creates unrealistic
expectations.
Bryan (02:07):
Oh, it didn't work.
So there's something you.
That's so powerful about peoplethat actually compare to others
that that's actually it.
It seems like it just, it hooksinto you.
It grabs onto you, and thisbecomes part of who you are.
(02:27):
You know what I mean?
Like that.
That's part of, I don't know,like even when we were talking
about it.
Yes.
The last episode, how long itwas for you and how often and
how long you were comparing andhow it became.
Just not by any fault of yourown, like I'm gonna compare him
to everyone.
Just be like, that's just partof what you did, part of your
everyday walk, everyday behavingwith me as your husband.
Natalie (02:49):
Yes.
And there's, I, I would say thatit's kind of a sneaky one.
It's not so, I mean, something'sobvious, like are more in your
face as far as comparison goes.
And other stuff was sort of likesubtle.
Things I'd kind of jab at youwith, if that makes sense.
(03:11):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And again it stems from a levelof discontentment,
Bryan (03:17):
right?
And it, I mean, even like, I, Ilike this dex this next one, it
creates unrealistic, unrealisticexpectations even.
Even if the, the, theexpectations say you're
comparing me to Bill, I alwaysdo Bill or Samantha.
This is how I, even, even when Ido, when I preach, whenever I
use someone, it's always Bill orSamantha.
(03:37):
So say you're comparing me toBill and what Bill is doing
isn't unrealistic, but it's notme.
Natalie (03:46):
And that's right.
Right.
It's essentially setting yourpartner, your spouse up to fail
because it's some level.
Of satisfaction that you've kindof conjured up in your head.
It's kind of like we all viewInstagram as, like everyone just
shows the highlight reels onInstagram.
Yeah.
No one really shows real lifeand when they do,
Bryan (04:08):
and maybe there are some who do.
No.
And when they do, it's still
Natalie (04:10):
contrived.
Right?
It's still planned out.
It's still, you know,photoshopped.
It's still filtered.
Comparison is like that, whereyou're kind of paying attention
to the highlight reel of someoneelse's life.
Ooh, that's good.
And you're short changing whatyou currently have with your
spouse.
And I said the last episode, ifyou don't like what you are
(04:32):
reaping, you need to change whatyou're sowing.
Right?
So, and this thus, the cycle ofunrealistic expectations just
continues.
To feed itself if you areconstantly looking elsewhere for
the satisfaction versuscultivating and working hard,
(04:53):
like relationships are hard.
Marriage is hard.
Yeah.
You need to there's, you're notgonna get the relationship that
you want if you don't put anywork in.
Right.
And you can't just have ithanded to you on a silver
platter or have it, you knowwatching a show or watching
someone else's marriage in thespotlight.
(05:14):
That's not how, it's notrealistic.
Well, and then
Bryan (05:17):
even trying to, to force, essentially when you're
comparing your husband or yourspouse to someone else, you're
trying to force them to be likethat other person.
That's right.
And saying that, well, what, whoyou are isn't good enough, which
is not good for the self-image,really not good for your, your
self-worth or your value if you,you're trying to compare me to
someone else, but also you'retrying to force him to be
someone else, and so you're notgonna be able to reach the
(05:39):
expectations because you're, Ithought you said that the
comparison is like watchingInstagram.
If I compare, you compare me toBill all the time.
You're only seeing the highlightreels and we spend time with
Bill and Sam and
Natalie (05:51):
chances are Bill is, Kind of a crummy person.
Well, maybe,
Bryan (05:57):
maybe, maybe
Natalie (05:58):
and maybe not.
And even then if, and it's notto say that you can't admire
someone else's relationship and,and say, you know what, like,
we're gonna strive to.
Bryan (06:10):
Be good communication.
Be good com, good
Natalie (06:12):
affection, date.
We're not saying that that'swrong, but when you are like, I
would rather trade you out in,in, in not so many words.
Yeah.
For someone else, right.
Or hold you to a standard thatsomeone else, you know.
Posted about or someone else infront of people.
Yeah.
Made it seem like theirrelationship was super awesome
when behind closed doors.
(06:33):
It probably isn't.
Right.
Right.
Or it's not as awesome as you'vemade it up in your mind.
Bryan (06:38):
Well,
Natalie (06:39):
yeah.
Right, right.
Like people have said to us,they're like, oh, hashtag
marriage goals.
And we're like, what are yousaying?
And they were like, oh, you knowwhen, when cuz we're coming up
on 22 years married.
Like, wow, that's.
I just want your relationship.
And I'm like, no you don't.
And they just kind of looked atme and I said, do you realize
(07:00):
the journey that it's, that thathas taken place to get us to
this place?
Right?
Like, you watch what you wishfor because you, you, you see
what we put out.
You see in one way, sort of likenot the highlight reels, cuz
we're fairly honest about our,the crummy things that we've had
to walk through.
But that's a snippet.
(07:23):
Of the journey.
Right?
Right.
And so I think it's, it's thehighlight reel.
It's like pull out, you know, ifyou think that we're great
communicators or you think thatwell you know my husband is
generous or whatever, then gleanthat and, and try to cultivate
those characteristics withinyour own marriage.
Bryan (07:42):
Right.
Well, and.
Even as an, as an example ofthat the expectations, I was
gonna go somewhere and I think Ijust, I wanna save that for a
little bit later.
But you remember the, the veryfirst episode we ever did.
Back like three years ago was,it's still in our top five most
(08:04):
downloaded episodes, and thething about expectations are is
there's a, a few things thatneed to be a part of those
expectations.
Do you remember those, thosefour things?
Not off the top of my head.
No.
I don't either is I went andactually looked it up and it,
this is what we communicated,and this has actually helped our
marriage a lot, is that.
If you want to have realistic,realistic expectations about
(08:26):
your spouse, so you're notcomparing them to other people,
because bill's highlight reel isgonna be different than your
highlight reel is that there'sfour things.
It's known, achievable,communicated, and agreed upon.
Oh, right, right, right, right.
Yes.
And we actually have used thosefour points to, to coach couples
that just had, like I rememberalong in one of our.
(08:50):
Because, because comparisonturns things into something that
it doesn't need to be.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
It turns, it turns yourrelationship into you want
something, one else'srelationship.
It turns into, into something.
It can't be because you're notcommunicating what you're
feeling to your, your.
Partner.
You're not communicating thefull story.
You're not communicating yourfull feelings.
And then what ends up happening,instead of actually
(09:12):
communicating more, youcommunicate less.
Yeah.
And when you are communicatingit's negative communication
about you comparing me to Billand so then I'm being
communicated with, but it's notgood communication.
No.
And you're actually putting ablock into the relationship.
Not.
And not stepping into, and thenwe have to actually break apart
the negative communication.
Yeah.
Negative comparison into thepositive communication, into
(09:33):
moving into something different.
And that's a really hard placeto start with.
Right.
And
Natalie (09:37):
you have to ask yourself.
Do I, is my lifelong goal in myrelationship to wake up
disappointed every single day?
Right?
Is it my lifelong goal to wakeup frustrated every single day?
If you have unmet expectationsthat are not articulated, they
are not known to your spouse,they are not achievable, and
what was the fourth?
Bryan (09:59):
It's known, achievable, communicated, and agreed
Natalie (10:01):
upon and agreed upon, then you are setting yourself up
for a.
A world of disappointment, offrustration.
Well, and do you remember
Bryan (10:10):
early on, and I now, now, after hearing the story about
how much you compared me toother people or Orange County
Housewives of Orange Countyhusbands?
Mm-hmm.
I remember that.
Now that I think back about thatwas the, you comparing me to
them and not being, not evencommunicating.
You remember when we had, youtalked to me about I had.
(10:33):
You had expectations of me, butyou'd never told me.
You just assumed that I knew.
That's right.
And so would it have been harderin those moments to communicate
Well, he should just know that Ineed him to take the garbage
out.
He should just know that thishas to be done to this time.
He should just know becauseyou're comparing me to other
people.
It was like another layer ofmiscommunication.
(10:53):
Of like misfiring.
Oh, a hundred
Natalie (10:55):
percent.
And my justification was youhave eyes in your head.
Can you not see that the garbagebin is full?
Right?
Oh, that was my justification.
Right?
And instead of just saying, Heybabe, could you please take out
the garbage?
I just sat there.
Probably glaring at you waitingfor you to grab a clue, right?
(11:17):
And it wasn't, I mean that wasthe un the unrealistic
expectation, but it was just, itstemmed from conversations with
other people of like, well, thisis what your husband should be
doing.
Right?
There we go, as man of thehouse.
Right?
He should be taking care ofvehicle things.
He should be putting gas in thecar, he should be doing lawn
maintenance.
(11:37):
Cuz these are the things thathusbands do,
Bryan (11:40):
isn't.
Isn't that kind of conversationa bit of a slippery slope
though?
Natalie (11:44):
A hundred percent.
Cuz I don't mind taking out thegarbage and I like lawn
Bryan (11:48):
work.
Yes.
That was one way.
And I, I like where you tookthat.
That's not what I was thinking.
Oh.
Because sometimes we have tohave conversations with couples
and I will have conversationsone-on-one with the man.
And because he, especially ifthey're, they've been married
just for a few years, there'softentimes a, a miss in
(12:09):
communication and maybe the wifeis comparing the husband, Hey,
my dad used to do all thesethings.
Why aren't you?
Which was actually somethingthat happened with us, like, dad
did this, blah, blah, blah.
The slippery slope, I mean,isn't a slippery slope in that
conversation.
That one-on-one I have to haveto say to him, and, hey, you're
not, you're not fulfilling yourduties as a husband.
Your responsibility is to takecare of your wife.
(12:31):
And the modern date.
Look after your, like, help herlook after the home.
You guys, you know, do yourchores, do your things.
Take care of her.
Help out how you need to, whenyou need to.
All of those types of things.
The slippery slipping me is likenot pointing the finger and
saying, you're not being the manof the house.
I'm like, no, no, no.
If you're sitting around on yourcouch playing video games from
the moment you get up to themoment you go to bed and you're
(12:52):
doing that six months in a rowand your wife is upset and
wondering why you're not doinganything, that's when someone
needs to come in and says, Hey,you need to like man up and get
in there and be the man of thehouse.
Natalie (13:03):
Right?
And I think that there's an,
Bryan (13:04):
that's what I mean by slip your slip.
Does
Natalie (13:06):
that make sense?
Yep.
And there's, and it goes bothways because there are lots of
men that are on top of.
Everything.
Everything, right?
And I'm one of those guys rightnow.
You are what
Bryan (13:20):
I was expecting a use for my sound effect, the rim shot,
and you just didn't give meanything.
I'm really upset about that.
Just for those of you who get tohear
Natalie (13:28):
it, oh, dear.
It's one of those things thatit's not, there's not a
specific, it's not gender.
Right.
Like the man's supposed to dothis and the woman's Right,
right, right.
Supposed to be in the kitchen.
No.
You found a love of cooking andyou cook and I love that.
And I don't like when you cleanthe bathroom.
(13:49):
So I clean the bathrooms and wedelegate to our kids.
Right?
So you need to find sort of asystem that works for your
marriage and you need tocommunicate.
If it's communicating differentchores and things like that,
then you need to do that.
But you can't look at someoneelse's tidy house, let's just
say, and look at, you know, yourwife or your husband and be
(14:14):
like, mm-hmm.
Right.
Because for all you know theyhave a cleaner that comes in.
Three times a week.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
And, and it's those hiddenthings, like you don't, you're
not living that life.
And so from the outside, itlooks like, my gosh, like they
have all the time in the worldto do whatever, whatever.
And then you just, it causesunnecessary tension and stress
(14:38):
in your relationship if you'regoing to be constantly doing
that.
Right.
Bryan (14:44):
And.
Yeah, like, I think even just a,like an encouragement to young
couples, if anyone's gonnalisten to this, is communicate
your expectations and yourexpectations need to be
something that that person thatyou're with can do.
That's right.
Right.
Like if Natalie had theexpectation that I'm gonna be
(15:05):
some kind of amazing carmechanic.
Because Bill mm-hmm.
Is an amazing car mechanic.
Well, why can't you save us athousand dollars and fix the
car?
Yep.
Well, if I try and save you athousand dollars and try and fix
the car, I'm gonna have to pay$2,000 to get someone to fix it
after I try to do it.
I guess it's not me.
That's right.
But then Bill may not be able todo like drywall and mudding and
(15:27):
taping, but I can Right.
Like there's, there's, there'sskillsets, there's things that
we can all do.
And that's, that's where wewe're like man and woman, when
you're in a relationship, yeah.
You're doing this.
We're equal.
We're just different roles.
We just do different things.
That's like, Natalie likes yardwork.
I don't mind yard work and I'lldo it, but Natalie likes yard
work.
She'll, so she'll do it.
(15:47):
But we know other people whosewives won't touch the yard work.
Natalie (15:50):
That's right.
And that's what works for them.
Yeah.
Right.
Can we just talk about.
Media and movies.
Cause I feel like this is kindof, for me, what stemmed this
unrealistic expectation ofmarriage was these romcoms, oh,
they're terrible.
And how they kind of depict thisperfect, nothing goes wrong
(16:13):
relationship.
Of, you know, a hi, like dottingon each other and servanthood
and all of this and all of that.
And you know, constantly havingsex and all of these things and
things like that.
And it's just not realistic.
And I remember before gettingmarried, it was kind of like
this glass slipper.
(16:33):
Fog, right?
Cinderella and the Glass slipperand the man and the Knight and
Shining Armor and PrinceCharming and all of that.
And we have all of these, youknow, in and of it themselves
are not bad.
But what happens is these arefictitious characters that then
you try to translate into realworld.
(16:54):
And are incredibly frustratedand disappointed when you're
like, gosh, if, if I'm basingwhat a relationship should look
like off of that, right, I'mgoing to, I'm going to be a
mess.
Well, and I, and I think thatwas part of the problem, was why
can't it be like that?
Why can't you just be like thatwhen we were first married?
Bryan (17:18):
Right.
Well, and e even if you.
Look at the romantic comediesand so say one of them would
have say, an issue of some kind,like mild drug issue or
struggled with pornography orlike to go to strip clubs.
Instead of it actually beingsomething that, Hey, we need to
(17:40):
deal with this.
It was always made fun of.
Or or celebrated.
Or celebrated the fact that theywould do these things and that
that's normal in therelationship or, and they would
never, it was always likecomedy, like, we're gonna, we're
gonna make light of this insteadof just like, Hey, this makes
your wife insecure.
When, when you're dating andmarried, you're going to strip
clubs on a regular basis ahundred percent.
(18:00):
And they would just like makelight of it.
And that would be that That'sokay.
Like,
Natalie (18:05):
no.
Right?
Cuz whether you wanna admit itor not, you are comparing your
spouse that is at home oryou're.
Partner that is at home to theseunrealistic bodies.
Let's just right.
Call it what it is.
Right.
And, and the same thing, youknow, when you have multiple
partners.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
And then you find the one you'regonna have that to deal with.
(18:27):
You are going to have that, youknow, because we're visual
people.
And so those memories and thoseimages are imprinted.
Those moments, those intimatemoments are imprinted in your
brain.
Right.
And the, and it's really hard toseparate that and not think
about, not allow yourself to gothere when you're being intimate
(18:48):
with your spouse.
Right.
Right.
So you need to deal with
Bryan (18:50):
that.
And all of those things are,are, again, that's, that's the,
the dangers of comparing becauseof decisions you make even
before you get married.
Right,
Natalie (19:02):
right.
And I think we can't talk aboutunrealistic expectations as far
as comparison goes and not.
Not talk about that.
Right.
Right, because, and you know, Iwould caution like.
Watch what you watch, watch whatyou
Bryan (19:15):
read.
And again, even, even ourromantic comedies that we watch,
even now, that part, like thatpart is really hard.
Like we have coached couplesthat have said, very
specifically said I had was withmultiple partners before I got
married.
That's right.
We've been married for threeyears and our sex life struggles
because we both, they both had,were promiscuous before they
(19:36):
cleaned up and they got theirlife together.
They both.
Were struggling in the area of,in, of intimacy because they
were so easily visualizing othermen or other women That's, that
they had been with That's right.
In their relationship.
And now it's hurting yourmarriage.
That's right.
You're short, you're, you'recomparing your, you're comparing
your spouse to something thathappened 10 years ago.
That's right.
More than like over and over.
That's right.
(19:56):
Right.
And that's that's also thedangers of, of living that
lifestyle.
It's also the dangers ofpornography Yes.
Is that you, you see all, likefor men, you see all those
boobs, you're going to, you'regoing to look and you're gonna
compare that to your wife.
That's right.
Right.
And that's, that's unfair.
Natalie (20:12):
And it, it's incredibly degrading.
Right, right.
So as a woman that.
That would be horrible to becompared to a supermodel who,
you know, has never had kids orhonestly, like, works really
hard to attain a.
Her physique and things likethat.
(20:33):
And not everyone's created likethat.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
And I think that, you know, youknow what you married, you know,
what you sort of signed up for,right?
Yeah.
And, you know, babies changethings and if you're one of
those people that, that, youknow has really good genetics as
far as your physique goes,that's awesome.
Good for you.
(20:54):
But the majority of thepopulation doesn't have that.
And so, You letting your mind goto those places and allowing
that to determine the happinessor the fulfillment that you have
in your relationship.
I think you're gonna be reallysad, right?
(21:14):
It's, there is no win-win
Bryan (21:16):
because you like, and it's not, it's not even that.
Let let, I'm gonna say it likethis.
It's not even that in therelationship.
You don't love the person thatyou're with.
No.
You genuinely love the personthat you're with.
But if you have your mind filledup with all kinds of things,
other things before you getmarried, it's gonna follow you
until you deal with it when youdo get married.
That's right.
There's consequences for youractions.
(21:37):
A hundred
Natalie (21:37):
percent.
And this isn't just for thosewho aren't married yet.
This is something we have towatch while married.
Yeah.
Right, right.
Because it's, it's not, youknow, oh well we've made it past
10 years.
So we're like, oh, thank God.
No.
You might have made it past astatistic.
But this still will creep itsugly face.
All throughout yourrelationship, right?
(21:58):
It's one of those sneaky things,right?
Where all of a sudden you allowa door to open, however that
comes, and then you begin tolook at your partner
differently, right?
And you begin to almost covetwhat someone else has because
Bryan (22:14):
your wife doesn't have it or your spouse doesn't have
Natalie (22:15):
it.
That's right.
And it keeps you your focus offof what really matters, and
that's the person that you'rewith right on it.
And it has an unhealthy.
Obsession Right.
Over what isn't yours and what'snot ever going to be yours.
Yeah.
Bryan (22:30):
And, and, and overall, again, back and all of this
leads back to the very firstthing that we said is Syd, this
actually creates unrealisticexpectations in your
relationship.
Natalie (22:42):
A hundred percent.
And and it, this was in yourcontrol.
Here's the thing.
Yeah.
You control what thoughts youallow.
You control your actions.
You control what you watch, whatyou see, what you do read that
is in your control, what youread.
Yeah.
You know where your gaze goes.
(23:02):
What what, what am I thinking ofhere?
What input from other peopleyou're allowing in.
Yep.
Yep.
That's in your control.
And that all matters.
Right?
And so you have a choice.
Yep.
Right.
There's a better way.
Yeah.
Right.
Grass is greener On the otherside is an indicator that you
probably need to water your owngrass,
Bryan (23:23):
right?
And it, it's so easy right nowin the current world that we
live in, to not fight for yourrelationship.
Then just to let it go.
Be like, I'm not happy with howthis is going.
You don't look the way I wantyou to look.
You don't behave the way I wantyou to behave.
You don't act the way I want youto act.
(23:44):
You're not who I married.
I've heard that one before.
No.
Yeah, right.
Of course she's not who youmarried or he's not who you
married.
They're, you've been togetherfor five years.
People grow and
Natalie (23:52):
mature and change, and you would hope.
They wouldn't be the same.
Yeah.
You
Bryan (23:55):
don't wanna marry someone at 20 years old who's a partyer
and you're party, you're withher, and then you grew up into,
Hey, I'm gonna go to work everyday and raise my kids, and that
person's still partying.
Right?
Like, just like you want tomature your girl.
What I mean though is that rightnow marriage is in such a, it's
being attacked constantly.
Natalie (24:13):
Well, and it's just, you know, I'm just trying you
on.
And if I don't like it, itthat's okay of, oh, this is not
gonna work out anyway, so I'mgonna like glean what I don't
want or glean what I do want forthe second one.
Yeah.
Right.
And that's just a lot of work.
It a hundred percent is a lot ofwork.
Right?
Right.
And so if you wanna put thatmuch effort into the first
(24:35):
relationship being a throwaway,how about like what could happen
if you actually put that amountof effort in that relationship?
Bryan (24:40):
Right.
Wow.
I think my final thought andthought I had for everyone today
is just one, go back and listento our very first episode we
ever did, and my final thoughtwas, is.
Like work your way out ofcomparing your spouse to other
people.
A hundred percent.
And I think that eventually inthis series we're probably, we
(25:02):
are gonna get to a place, we'regonna talk about how we can
actually break through thosebarriers and how to stop
comparing your spouse to otherpeople.
We'll give you some practicalsteps right now.
We just wanna go through some ofthe issues and that's really
good.
Any final thoughts from you?
Natalie (25:18):
No.
Well, Here's the thing, right?
We want, everyone wants to befully known and fully loved,
right?
Absolutely.
And so creating an environmentwith your significant other
where the, there's trust.
Yep.
Where there is honor mm-hmm.
And where there is integritymm-hmm.
(25:39):
And it's not insecure.
Right?
Right.
Like my goal with you is to makesure that you don't have to
second guess anything that I'mdoing.
Right.
And, and
Bryan (25:48):
vice versa.
Right.
Natalie (25:49):
And so we, that's important to us.
That is something that we'veestablished as, as sort of a
rule of thumb or a boundary inour relationship of you will
know what I'm, what I'm up to,so that you don't feel insecure.
And so that I don't sort of putyou in a place of just
wondering.
(26:09):
Right?
Bryan (26:10):
Absolutely.
Wow.
We, I love these.
This is gonna be set.
This is a great series, whatwe're into and really looking
forward to completing this andseeing if you have any questions
or anything like that.
Just let us know.
It really, if you love thispodcast, like we love making it
and you really.
It means a lot to us.
When you share it, when you likeit, when you pass it on to other
(26:31):
people, let'em know.
This is all about helpingpeople.
Mm-hmm.
Equipping people, giving youmore options.
You can find this on Facebookand Instagram, and again, we say
this all the time, if there's atopic or a question or even
something.
Think in the last episode wesaid if you have a testimony of
breaking away from comparison orhave something you wanna share,
send it to us.
We'll open it and we'll read itonto the the podcast.
(26:52):
Mm-hmm.
Keeping your name anonymous ifthat's what you want.
But we'd love to hear from eachand every one of you as much as
we can.
If you have any questions, thisemail@amplifiedmarriagedot.com,
amplified marriage gmail.com.
I can speak English.
And as you have heard us saymany times, we believe that your
marriage can be reset,refreshed, recharged, and
Natalie (27:15):
restored.
Thanks for listening.
Talk to you soon.
Welcome to the Amplified Marriage Podcast.
We are onto part two of ourcomparison.
Episodes.
First one was a doozy.
We had fully intended to go onto something big and move on to
a few points.
We got just hooked onto one andwe had some really great
conversation.
You wanna go back and listen tothat, but we're excited that
(00:35):
you're here for this one.
Let's take a listen.
Natalie (00:53):
---Welcome to another episode of Amplified Marriage.
I'm Natalie.
And I'm Brian.
Wherever you are, whateveryou're doing, you hear us say
this every time.
Grab a snack, grab a coffee, siton the couch, grab a blanket.
We're so excited that you joinedus for our chat today.
Bryan (01:06):
As I said before, we are onto the second part of our
comparison podcast, and boy wasthe first one a good one.
Natalie (01:14):
Mm-hmm.
Kind of took an unexpected,lengthy turn right.
Yeah, I mean, we've got ourguidelines of kind of where we
wanna talk or what we wanna talkabout, and it kind of just took
legs of its own, which was areally good thing
Bryan (01:27):
actually.
Yeah.
And if it was one of those wefelt that we just kinda need to
press into that.
Mm-hmm.
Because there's a lot of thatkind of comparison where people
are comparing theirrelationships to other people's
relationships or comparing theirhusbands or their wives to other
husbands and wives that's reallycausing problems inside of
relationships.
Mm-hmm.
And so that was a really.
It was a really good one andwe're really looking forward to
(01:48):
having a, a chat about this one.
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (01:51):
So have you missed last time comparison creates
resentment was that one.
So if you missed it, go take alisten.
Today we're talking aboutcomparison creates unrealistic
expectations.
Bryan (02:07):
Oh, it didn't work.
So there's something you.
That's so powerful about peoplethat actually compare to others
that that's actually it.
It seems like it just, it hooksinto you.
It grabs onto you, and thisbecomes part of who you are.
(02:27):
You know what I mean?
Like that.
That's part of, I don't know,like even when we were talking
about it.
Yes.
The last episode, how long itwas for you and how often and
how long you were comparing andhow it became.
Just not by any fault of yourown, like I'm gonna compare him
to everyone.
Just be like, that's just partof what you did, part of your
everyday walk, everyday behavingwith me as your husband.
Natalie (02:49):
Yes.
And there's, I, I would say thatit's kind of a sneaky one.
It's not so, I mean, something'sobvious, like are more in your
face as far as comparison goes.
And other stuff was sort of likesubtle.
Things I'd kind of jab at youwith, if that makes sense.
(03:11):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And again it stems from a levelof discontentment,
Bryan (03:17):
right?
And it, I mean, even like, I, Ilike this dex this next one, it
creates unrealistic, unrealisticexpectations even.
Even if the, the, theexpectations say you're
comparing me to Bill, I alwaysdo Bill or Samantha.
This is how I, even, even when Ido, when I preach, whenever I
use someone, it's always Bill orSamantha.
(03:37):
So say you're comparing me toBill and what Bill is doing
isn't unrealistic, but it's notme.
Natalie (03:46):
And that's right.
Right.
It's essentially setting yourpartner, your spouse up to fail
because it's some level.
Of satisfaction that you've kindof conjured up in your head.
It's kind of like we all viewInstagram as, like everyone just
shows the highlight reels onInstagram.
Yeah.
No one really shows real lifeand when they do,
Bryan (04:08):
and maybe there are some who do.
No.
And when they do, it's still
Natalie (04:10):
contrived.
Right?
It's still planned out.
It's still, you know,photoshopped.
It's still filtered.
Comparison is like that, whereyou're kind of paying attention
to the highlight reel of someoneelse's life.
Ooh, that's good.
And you're short changing whatyou currently have with your
spouse.
And I said the last episode, ifyou don't like what you are
(04:32):
reaping, you need to change whatyou're sowing.
Right?
So, and this thus, the cycle ofunrealistic expectations just
continues.
To feed itself if you areconstantly looking elsewhere for
the satisfaction versuscultivating and working hard,
(04:53):
like relationships are hard.
Marriage is hard.
Yeah.
You need to there's, you're notgonna get the relationship that
you want if you don't put anywork in.
Right.
And you can't just have ithanded to you on a silver
platter or have it, you knowwatching a show or watching
someone else's marriage in thespotlight.
(05:14):
That's not how, it's notrealistic.
Well, and then
Bryan (05:17):
even trying to, to force, essentially when you're
comparing your husband or yourspouse to someone else, you're
trying to force them to be likethat other person.
That's right.
And saying that, well, what, whoyou are isn't good enough, which
is not good for the self-image,really not good for your, your
self-worth or your value if you,you're trying to compare me to
someone else, but also you'retrying to force him to be
someone else, and so you're notgonna be able to reach the
(05:39):
expectations because you're, Ithought you said that the
comparison is like watchingInstagram.
If I compare, you compare me toBill all the time.
You're only seeing the highlightreels and we spend time with
Bill and Sam and
Natalie (05:51):
chances are Bill is, Kind of a crummy person.
Well, maybe,
Bryan (05:57):
maybe, maybe
Natalie (05:58):
and maybe not.
And even then if, and it's notto say that you can't admire
someone else's relationship and,and say, you know what, like,
we're gonna strive to.
Bryan (06:10):
Be good communication.
Be good com, good
Natalie (06:12):
affection, date.
We're not saying that that'swrong, but when you are like, I
would rather trade you out in,in, in not so many words.
Yeah.
For someone else, right.
Or hold you to a standard thatsomeone else, you know.
Posted about or someone else infront of people.
Yeah.
Made it seem like theirrelationship was super awesome
when behind closed doors.
(06:33):
It probably isn't.
Right.
Right.
Or it's not as awesome as you'vemade it up in your mind.
Bryan (06:38):
Well,
Natalie (06:39):
yeah.
Right, right.
Like people have said to us,they're like, oh, hashtag
marriage goals.
And we're like, what are yousaying?
And they were like, oh, you knowwhen, when cuz we're coming up
on 22 years married.
Like, wow, that's.
I just want your relationship.
And I'm like, no you don't.
And they just kind of looked atme and I said, do you realize
(07:00):
the journey that it's, that thathas taken place to get us to
this place?
Right?
Like, you watch what you wishfor because you, you, you see
what we put out.
You see in one way, sort of likenot the highlight reels, cuz
we're fairly honest about our,the crummy things that we've had
to walk through.
But that's a snippet.
(07:23):
Of the journey.
Right?
Right.
And so I think it's, it's thehighlight reel.
It's like pull out, you know, ifyou think that we're great
communicators or you think thatwell you know my husband is
generous or whatever, then gleanthat and, and try to cultivate
those characteristics withinyour own marriage.
Bryan (07:42):
Right.
Well, and.
Even as an, as an example ofthat the expectations, I was
gonna go somewhere and I think Ijust, I wanna save that for a
little bit later.
But you remember the, the veryfirst episode we ever did.
Back like three years ago was,it's still in our top five most
(08:04):
downloaded episodes, and thething about expectations are is
there's a, a few things thatneed to be a part of those
expectations.
Do you remember those, thosefour things?
Not off the top of my head.
No.
I don't either is I went andactually looked it up and it,
this is what we communicated,and this has actually helped our
marriage a lot, is that.
If you want to have realistic,realistic expectations about
(08:26):
your spouse, so you're notcomparing them to other people,
because bill's highlight reel isgonna be different than your
highlight reel is that there'sfour things.
It's known, achievable,communicated, and agreed upon.
Oh, right, right, right, right.
Yes.
And we actually have used thosefour points to, to coach couples
that just had, like I rememberalong in one of our.
(08:50):
Because, because comparisonturns things into something that
it doesn't need to be.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
It turns, it turns yourrelationship into you want
something, one else'srelationship.
It turns into, into something.
It can't be because you're notcommunicating what you're
feeling to your, your.
Partner.
You're not communicating thefull story.
You're not communicating yourfull feelings.
And then what ends up happening,instead of actually
(09:12):
communicating more, youcommunicate less.
Yeah.
And when you are communicatingit's negative communication
about you comparing me to Billand so then I'm being
communicated with, but it's notgood communication.
No.
And you're actually putting ablock into the relationship.
Not.
And not stepping into, and thenwe have to actually break apart
the negative communication.
Yeah.
Negative comparison into thepositive communication, into
(09:33):
moving into something different.
And that's a really hard placeto start with.
Right.
And
Natalie (09:37):
you have to ask yourself.
Do I, is my lifelong goal in myrelationship to wake up
disappointed every single day?
Right?
Is it my lifelong goal to wakeup frustrated every single day?
If you have unmet expectationsthat are not articulated, they
are not known to your spouse,they are not achievable, and
what was the fourth?
Bryan (09:59):
It's known, achievable, communicated, and agreed
Natalie (10:01):
upon and agreed upon, then you are setting yourself up
for a.
A world of disappointment, offrustration.
Well, and do you remember
Bryan (10:10):
early on, and I now, now, after hearing the story about
how much you compared me toother people or Orange County
Housewives of Orange Countyhusbands?
Mm-hmm.
I remember that.
Now that I think back about thatwas the, you comparing me to
them and not being, not evencommunicating.
You remember when we had, youtalked to me about I had.
(10:33):
You had expectations of me, butyou'd never told me.
You just assumed that I knew.
That's right.
And so would it have been harderin those moments to communicate
Well, he should just know that Ineed him to take the garbage
out.
He should just know that thishas to be done to this time.
He should just know becauseyou're comparing me to other
people.
It was like another layer ofmiscommunication.
(10:53):
Of like misfiring.
Oh, a hundred
Natalie (10:55):
percent.
And my justification was youhave eyes in your head.
Can you not see that the garbagebin is full?
Right?
Oh, that was my justification.
Right?
And instead of just saying, Heybabe, could you please take out
the garbage?
I just sat there.
Probably glaring at you waitingfor you to grab a clue, right?
(11:17):
And it wasn't, I mean that wasthe un the unrealistic
expectation, but it was just, itstemmed from conversations with
other people of like, well, thisis what your husband should be
doing.
Right?
There we go, as man of thehouse.
Right?
He should be taking care ofvehicle things.
He should be putting gas in thecar, he should be doing lawn
maintenance.
(11:37):
Cuz these are the things thathusbands do,
Bryan (11:40):
isn't.
Isn't that kind of conversationa bit of a slippery slope
though?
Natalie (11:44):
A hundred percent.
Cuz I don't mind taking out thegarbage and I like lawn
Bryan (11:48):
work.
Yes.
That was one way.
And I, I like where you tookthat.
That's not what I was thinking.
Oh.
Because sometimes we have tohave conversations with couples
and I will have conversationsone-on-one with the man.
And because he, especially ifthey're, they've been married
just for a few years, there'softentimes a, a miss in
(12:09):
communication and maybe the wifeis comparing the husband, Hey,
my dad used to do all thesethings.
Why aren't you?
Which was actually somethingthat happened with us, like, dad
did this, blah, blah, blah.
The slippery slope, I mean,isn't a slippery slope in that
conversation.
That one-on-one I have to haveto say to him, and, hey, you're
not, you're not fulfilling yourduties as a husband.
Your responsibility is to takecare of your wife.
(12:31):
And the modern date.
Look after your, like, help herlook after the home.
You guys, you know, do yourchores, do your things.
Take care of her.
Help out how you need to, whenyou need to.
All of those types of things.
The slippery slipping me is likenot pointing the finger and
saying, you're not being the manof the house.
I'm like, no, no, no.
If you're sitting around on yourcouch playing video games from
the moment you get up to themoment you go to bed and you're
(12:52):
doing that six months in a rowand your wife is upset and
wondering why you're not doinganything, that's when someone
needs to come in and says, Hey,you need to like man up and get
in there and be the man of thehouse.
Natalie (13:03):
Right?
And I think that there's an,
Bryan (13:04):
that's what I mean by slip your slip.
Does
Natalie (13:06):
that make sense?
Yep.
And there's, and it goes bothways because there are lots of
men that are on top of.
Everything.
Everything, right?
And I'm one of those guys rightnow.
You are what
Bryan (13:20):
I was expecting a use for my sound effect, the rim shot,
and you just didn't give meanything.
I'm really upset about that.
Just for those of you who get tohear
Natalie (13:28):
it, oh, dear.
It's one of those things thatit's not, there's not a
specific, it's not gender.
Right.
Like the man's supposed to dothis and the woman's Right,
right, right.
Supposed to be in the kitchen.
No.
You found a love of cooking andyou cook and I love that.
And I don't like when you cleanthe bathroom.
(13:49):
So I clean the bathrooms and wedelegate to our kids.
Right?
So you need to find sort of asystem that works for your
marriage and you need tocommunicate.
If it's communicating differentchores and things like that,
then you need to do that.
But you can't look at someoneelse's tidy house, let's just
say, and look at, you know, yourwife or your husband and be
(14:14):
like, mm-hmm.
Right.
Because for all you know theyhave a cleaner that comes in.
Three times a week.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
And, and it's those hiddenthings, like you don't, you're
not living that life.
And so from the outside, itlooks like, my gosh, like they
have all the time in the worldto do whatever, whatever.
And then you just, it causesunnecessary tension and stress
(14:38):
in your relationship if you'regoing to be constantly doing
that.
Right.
Bryan (14:44):
And.
Yeah, like, I think even just a,like an encouragement to young
couples, if anyone's gonnalisten to this, is communicate
your expectations and yourexpectations need to be
something that that person thatyou're with can do.
That's right.
Right.
Like if Natalie had theexpectation that I'm gonna be
(15:05):
some kind of amazing carmechanic.
Because Bill mm-hmm.
Is an amazing car mechanic.
Well, why can't you save us athousand dollars and fix the
car?
Yep.
Well, if I try and save you athousand dollars and try and fix
the car, I'm gonna have to pay$2,000 to get someone to fix it
after I try to do it.
I guess it's not me.
That's right.
But then Bill may not be able todo like drywall and mudding and
(15:27):
taping, but I can Right.
Like there's, there's, there'sskillsets, there's things that
we can all do.
And that's, that's where wewe're like man and woman, when
you're in a relationship, yeah.
You're doing this.
We're equal.
We're just different roles.
We just do different things.
That's like, Natalie likes yardwork.
I don't mind yard work and I'lldo it, but Natalie likes yard
work.
She'll, so she'll do it.
(15:47):
But we know other people whosewives won't touch the yard work.
Natalie (15:50):
That's right.
And that's what works for them.
Yeah.
Right.
Can we just talk about.
Media and movies.
Cause I feel like this is kindof, for me, what stemmed this
unrealistic expectation ofmarriage was these romcoms, oh,
they're terrible.
And how they kind of depict thisperfect, nothing goes wrong
(16:13):
relationship.
Of, you know, a hi, like dottingon each other and servanthood
and all of this and all of that.
And you know, constantly havingsex and all of these things and
things like that.
And it's just not realistic.
And I remember before gettingmarried, it was kind of like
this glass slipper.
(16:33):
Fog, right?
Cinderella and the Glass slipperand the man and the Knight and
Shining Armor and PrinceCharming and all of that.
And we have all of these, youknow, in and of it themselves
are not bad.
But what happens is these arefictitious characters that then
you try to translate into realworld.
(16:54):
And are incredibly frustratedand disappointed when you're
like, gosh, if, if I'm basingwhat a relationship should look
like off of that, right, I'mgoing to, I'm going to be a
mess.
Well, and I, and I think thatwas part of the problem, was why
can't it be like that?
Why can't you just be like thatwhen we were first married?
Bryan (17:18):
Right.
Well, and e even if you.
Look at the romantic comediesand so say one of them would
have say, an issue of some kind,like mild drug issue or
struggled with pornography orlike to go to strip clubs.
Instead of it actually beingsomething that, Hey, we need to
(17:40):
deal with this.
It was always made fun of.
Or or celebrated.
Or celebrated the fact that theywould do these things and that
that's normal in therelationship or, and they would
never, it was always likecomedy, like, we're gonna, we're
gonna make light of this insteadof just like, Hey, this makes
your wife insecure.
When, when you're dating andmarried, you're going to strip
clubs on a regular basis ahundred percent.
(18:00):
And they would just like makelight of it.
And that would be that That'sokay.
Like,
Natalie (18:05):
no.
Right?
Cuz whether you wanna admit itor not, you are comparing your
spouse that is at home oryou're.
Partner that is at home to theseunrealistic bodies.
Let's just right.
Call it what it is.
Right.
And, and the same thing, youknow, when you have multiple
partners.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
And then you find the one you'regonna have that to deal with.
(18:27):
You are going to have that, youknow, because we're visual
people.
And so those memories and thoseimages are imprinted.
Those moments, those intimatemoments are imprinted in your
brain.
Right.
And the, and it's really hard toseparate that and not think
about, not allow yourself to gothere when you're being intimate
(18:48):
with your spouse.
Right.
Right.
So you need to deal with
Bryan (18:50):
that.
And all of those things are,are, again, that's, that's the,
the dangers of comparing becauseof decisions you make even
before you get married.
Right,
Natalie (19:02):
right.
And I think we can't talk aboutunrealistic expectations as far
as comparison goes and not.
Not talk about that.
Right.
Right, because, and you know, Iwould caution like.
Watch what you watch, watch whatyou
Bryan (19:15):
read.
And again, even, even ourromantic comedies that we watch,
even now, that part, like thatpart is really hard.
Like we have coached couplesthat have said, very
specifically said I had was withmultiple partners before I got
married.
That's right.
We've been married for threeyears and our sex life struggles
because we both, they both had,were promiscuous before they
(19:36):
cleaned up and they got theirlife together.
They both.
Were struggling in the area of,in, of intimacy because they
were so easily visualizing othermen or other women That's, that
they had been with That's right.
In their relationship.
And now it's hurting yourmarriage.
That's right.
You're short, you're, you'recomparing your, you're comparing
your spouse to something thathappened 10 years ago.
That's right.
More than like over and over.
That's right.
(19:56):
Right.
And that's that's also thedangers of, of living that
lifestyle.
It's also the dangers ofpornography Yes.
Is that you, you see all, likefor men, you see all those
boobs, you're going to, you'regoing to look and you're gonna
compare that to your wife.
That's right.
Right.
And that's, that's unfair.
Natalie (20:12):
And it, it's incredibly degrading.
Right, right.
So as a woman that.
That would be horrible to becompared to a supermodel who,
you know, has never had kids orhonestly, like, works really
hard to attain a.
Her physique and things likethat.
(20:33):
And not everyone's created likethat.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
And I think that, you know, youknow what you married, you know,
what you sort of signed up for,right?
Yeah.
And, you know, babies changethings and if you're one of
those people that, that, youknow has really good genetics as
far as your physique goes,that's awesome.
Good for you.
(20:54):
But the majority of thepopulation doesn't have that.
And so, You letting your mind goto those places and allowing
that to determine the happinessor the fulfillment that you have
in your relationship.
I think you're gonna be reallysad, right?
(21:14):
It's, there is no win-win
Bryan (21:16):
because you like, and it's not, it's not even that.
Let let, I'm gonna say it likethis.
It's not even that in therelationship.
You don't love the person thatyou're with.
No.
You genuinely love the personthat you're with.
But if you have your mind filledup with all kinds of things,
other things before you getmarried, it's gonna follow you
until you deal with it when youdo get married.
That's right.
There's consequences for youractions.
(21:37):
A hundred
Natalie (21:37):
percent.
And this isn't just for thosewho aren't married yet.
This is something we have towatch while married.
Yeah.
Right, right.
Because it's, it's not, youknow, oh well we've made it past
10 years.
So we're like, oh, thank God.
No.
You might have made it past astatistic.
But this still will creep itsugly face.
All throughout yourrelationship, right?
(21:58):
It's one of those sneaky things,right?
Where all of a sudden you allowa door to open, however that
comes, and then you begin tolook at your partner
differently, right?
And you begin to almost covetwhat someone else has because
Bryan (22:14):
your wife doesn't have it or your spouse doesn't have
Natalie (22:15):
it.
That's right.
And it keeps you your focus offof what really matters, and
that's the person that you'rewith right on it.
And it has an unhealthy.
Obsession Right.
Over what isn't yours and what'snot ever going to be yours.
Yeah.
Bryan (22:30):
And, and, and overall, again, back and all of this
leads back to the very firstthing that we said is Syd, this
actually creates unrealisticexpectations in your
relationship.
Natalie (22:42):
A hundred percent.
And and it, this was in yourcontrol.
Here's the thing.
Yeah.
You control what thoughts youallow.
You control your actions.
You control what you watch, whatyou see, what you do read that
is in your control, what youread.
Yeah.
You know where your gaze goes.
(23:02):
What what, what am I thinking ofhere?
What input from other peopleyou're allowing in.
Yep.
Yep.
That's in your control.
And that all matters.
Right?
And so you have a choice.
Yep.
Right.
There's a better way.
Yeah.
Right.
Grass is greener On the otherside is an indicator that you
probably need to water your owngrass,
Bryan (23:23):
right?
And it, it's so easy right nowin the current world that we
live in, to not fight for yourrelationship.
Then just to let it go.
Be like, I'm not happy with howthis is going.
You don't look the way I wantyou to look.
You don't behave the way I wantyou to behave.
You don't act the way I want youto act.
(23:44):
You're not who I married.
I've heard that one before.
No.
Yeah, right.
Of course she's not who youmarried or he's not who you
married.
They're, you've been togetherfor five years.
People grow and
Natalie (23:52):
mature and change, and you would hope.
They wouldn't be the same.
Yeah.
You
Bryan (23:55):
don't wanna marry someone at 20 years old who's a partyer
and you're party, you're withher, and then you grew up into,
Hey, I'm gonna go to work everyday and raise my kids, and that
person's still partying.
Right?
Like, just like you want tomature your girl.
What I mean though is that rightnow marriage is in such a, it's
being attacked constantly.
Natalie (24:13):
Well, and it's just, you know, I'm just trying you
on.
And if I don't like it, itthat's okay of, oh, this is not
gonna work out anyway, so I'mgonna like glean what I don't
want or glean what I do want forthe second one.
Yeah.
Right.
And that's just a lot of work.
It a hundred percent is a lot ofwork.
Right?
Right.
And so if you wanna put thatmuch effort into the first
(24:35):
relationship being a throwaway,how about like what could happen
if you actually put that amountof effort in that relationship?
Bryan (24:40):
Right.
Wow.
I think my final thought andthought I had for everyone today
is just one, go back and listento our very first episode we
ever did, and my final thoughtwas, is.
Like work your way out ofcomparing your spouse to other
people.
A hundred percent.
And I think that eventually inthis series we're probably, we
(25:02):
are gonna get to a place, we'regonna talk about how we can
actually break through thosebarriers and how to stop
comparing your spouse to otherpeople.
We'll give you some practicalsteps right now.
We just wanna go through some ofthe issues and that's really
good.
Any final thoughts from you?
Natalie (25:18):
No.
Well, Here's the thing, right?
We want, everyone wants to befully known and fully loved,
right?
Absolutely.
And so creating an environmentwith your significant other
where the, there's trust.
Yep.
Where there is honor mm-hmm.
And where there is integritymm-hmm.
(25:39):
And it's not insecure.
Right?
Right.
Like my goal with you is to makesure that you don't have to
second guess anything that I'mdoing.
Right.
And, and
Bryan (25:48):
vice versa.
Right.
Natalie (25:49):
And so we, that's important to us.
That is something that we'veestablished as, as sort of a
rule of thumb or a boundary inour relationship of you will
know what I'm, what I'm up to,so that you don't feel insecure.
And so that I don't sort of putyou in a place of just
wondering.
(26:09):
Right?
Bryan (26:10):
Absolutely.
Wow.
We, I love these.
This is gonna be set.
This is a great series, whatwe're into and really looking
forward to completing this andseeing if you have any questions
or anything like that.
Just let us know.
It really, if you love thispodcast, like we love making it
and you really.
It means a lot to us.
When you share it, when you likeit, when you pass it on to other
(26:31):
people, let'em know.
This is all about helpingpeople.
Mm-hmm.
Equipping people, giving youmore options.
You can find this on Facebookand Instagram, and again, we say
this all the time, if there's atopic or a question or even
something.
Think in the last episode wesaid if you have a testimony of
breaking away from comparison orhave something you wanna share,
send it to us.
We'll open it and we'll read itonto the the podcast.
(26:52):
Mm-hmm.
Keeping your name anonymous ifthat's what you want.
But we'd love to hear from eachand every one of you as much as
we can.
If you have any questions, thisemail@amplifiedmarriagedot.com,
amplified marriage gmail.com.
I can speak English.
And as you have heard us saymany times, we believe that your
marriage can be reset,refreshed, recharged, and
Natalie (27:15):
restored.
Thanks for listening.
Talk to you soon.
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