Nurturing the Feminine: Intuition, Emotion, and Dreams

In this episode of "And Now, Love," Cynthia Marks hosts Dr. Lauren Dolinsky for an enlightening discussion on the balance between the feminine and masculine energies within us all. They explore how the feminine—the intuitive, emotional side—has often been undervalued, leading to a disconnect in personal growth and relationships. Dr. Dolinsky shares fascinating insights from her practice, including poignant examples of how dream analysis reveals the unconscious struggles people face in reconnecting with their feelings. The episode emphasizes the importance of nurturing the feminine side to achieve a fuller, more authentic self. Through heartfelt examples, they show how understanding the messages in our dreams can lead to profound transformation and compassion in our lives.

Episode Transcript

(00:04):
Hi, I'm Cynthia Marks.
I head up the HolisticPsychoanalysis Foundation
established by my latehusband, Doctor Bernard Bail.
Today we welcome DoctorLauren Dolinsky back to talk with us.
Lauren is a psychotherapistwith a practice in Los Angeles.
Lauren is an avid believerin Doctor Bail's work

(00:25):
and uses his theories in her workwith patients.
She wholeheartedly believes in theimportance of understanding our dreams.
This holds true for her patientsand the rest of us.
As we know, many of usdon't find ourselves
in therapy for lots of different reasons.
But here we believethat we can inch our way

(00:47):
toward better emotional healthby paying attention to
and learning to understandthe incredible messages our dreams hold.
Many, many of those messages
point us in the direction of the feminine.
That is to say,the feeling part of ourselves.
It is so important to grasp what this is,

(01:11):
what this really meanswhen attempting to become whole.
Todaywe are going to focus on the feminine
and Doctor Dolinsky is an expert.
So thank you for being here.
Thank you so much for having me back.
Oh, it's so nice.
And we look forward to more conversationsin the future of course.
But this is a huge topicand we touched on it a little bit.

(01:36):
Doctor Weiner and I,and we are looking forward
to hearing more about this from you.
Yeah, it's a huge topic.
Yes, it's a huge topic.
And it's so essential. To this work.
And it's so essential to our humanity.
So I'm delighted to be hereto talk about it.
Good.
And most of us,I think, are excited to learn about it,

(01:59):
because I don't think we really understandwhat all it entails.
So before we really home in,
what would you say kind of in
broad strokes,does this mean what is the feminine?
Great question.
So when we talk about the feminine,I want to be really.
Clear. That we're not talking about.

(02:20):
A. Gender. Idea.
We're not talking about women.
We're talking more. About.
You know,the energetics of masculine and feminine,
which every human on earth has both.
So every human has a masculine sideand a feminine side.
And in this work.
We talk a lot about.
The masculine as the intellectual. Side.

(02:40):
That's that'sthe more analytical, intellectual side.
Whereas the feminine is feeling.
That's the feeling side.
That's the intuitive.
Side, that's the receptive side of a.
Person.
And it's very.
Essential to this. Work because.
As humans.
This part. Of our. Nature has.
Been through so much, so much. And so.

(03:03):
To really start to. Heal and develop.
That part of the.
Person is when you really seetransformation in the person,
and when that person gets to really bethemself.
Like their truest,truest, fullest, most complete self.
So that's kind of a broad pictureof the feminine.
I see and and so for all of us,what we want to do is have kind

(03:26):
of a balance of both of those elements,the feminine and the masculine.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think in a perfect world,and I want to be.
Very clear about this, because we.
Do not live in a. Perfect world.
So I don't think that we have a lotof examples of where this really happens.
But in a perfect world.
The you know,first of all, our educational.

(03:47):
System is very focused on the intellect.
So that part. Gets an education.
That part gets to develop.
We don't usually have a lot of setbacksthere.
I mean, people might.
Individually case by case.Depending on an imprint.
But and but and that's necessary thissort of intellectual education of course.
Absolutely, absolutely.
But I think. As a whole.

(04:09):
We haven't had much of an education systemof sorts for the feminine.
For the.
Feeling part. Of a. Person.
That side of a. Person.
Were really.Allowed to mature and develop.
What we want to see is that part.
Of a person guiding the person.
So actually the.
Feeling part of a person is more inthe driver's seat

(04:31):
and the intellect is involved,but it's following the feminine.
So people, if you.
Have a mature feminine,a mature feeling side.
That really can guide you. In a life,you can.
Let that side guide.
You and the intellect will.
Be there to. Support it and follow.
So, as you say in a perfect situation,

(04:52):
the feelings side of usgets to mature and develop.
And just share with us I know
we've kind of covered it with youwithout you.
How does that happen.
How does that side develop.
Yeah that's a really good question.
And that's where.
We see a lot.
Go wrong for most. People.

(05:14):
For most people nearly universal.
So I would say.
Again, in that perfect. World, you have.
A parent,let's say the mother. Father too.
But really.
Attuning and attending to that.
Part of the child.
And nurturing the feeling partof the child and helping them understand.
What they're.
Feeling and what it's about, and having.

(05:35):
A space for whatever.
Feelings to come inand have a home in that.
Person.
And those feelings of that childare all allowable.
All allowable.
That's right.
All welcome,all welcome and ideally understood.
Help.
Help the child understandwhat they're feeling and maybe why.
And then that. Child gets to. Developthat.

(05:57):
And the mother in a perfect.
World has developed. Feelings side that.
She uses.
To sense the. Child, to feel the child.
So a lot.
Of times what we. See is.
And maybe I'm jumping ahead here,but sometimes, you know.
People will talk about.
Well, my, my mom was emotional.
Like, I know she was a feeling person.

(06:17):
I saw her get emotional.
But did she use her.
Feelings to connect. To you?
Did she use her feelings. To connect.
To her child?
And the feelings. Of that child?
That those.
Feelingsget to come in and take center. Stage?
Because that that.
Often doesn't happen,as we might imagine it does.
So what?

(06:37):
When that doesn't happen.
That's. When. The. Person gets.
Very creative with.
All kinds of coping mechanismsand messages and things happen.
That really quiet that side.
Of a person shut it down.
That side gets very.
Hurt and injured,maybe put to sleep or sometimes killed.
Yeah, it's it's,How do I deal with these feelings?

(06:59):
I have to make them
go away, or I have to figure outhow to take care of them,
because nobody else is helping me.Yeah, like.
My message is, these are too much.
Like they're a burden to people.
I shouldn't, you know,I shouldn't have them.
Let me get rid of them.
And then we come up with all kinds of.
Creative ways to do that.
You know, a. Very popular.
One might be substances. Or. You know,

(07:20):
and you don't even need a substance.
Sometimes people. Just.
Numb. They don't. Feel. So.
But super important then that
our mothers know how to feel themselves
and how to use their feelings to connectrather than disconnect.
Right?
To do our children's feelings sometimes

(07:42):
stimulate a need in usto unconsciously retract or yes.
Yes, especially.
Depending on whatthat mother went through. With.
Her emotional life and her feminine sideand her family of origin.
So how were.
Her feelings attended toor not attended to in the family?
And what ends up happening?
As you get a lot of.

(08:03):
Reenactments and we.
See it everywhere.
Of this messaging of, you know, knock.
It off, get over it, stop it, stop.
Your crying.
You know. There's.
So many versions of can you.
Just get over it, be quiet.
And knock it off.
You know,get out of here with your feelings.
So in a worldwhere we're all understanding each other

(08:26):
and your child is crying
and you feel for your child, and you
love that childand you want to help them through it,
you you can't say, stop crying right?
You have to figure out a way to not
direct them, but let them knowthat their feelings are okay.

(08:48):
And in that process, dothey come to terms with it and the feeling
turns into something positiverather than negative or scary?
Well, maybe.
I mean, we have to see how it. Goesand how the conversation goes
or the soothing goes.
But if the message is, it's safe.
For me to bring my feelings to youand you'll.

(09:08):
Take care. Of them, and. It's okay.
That's that's a big deal.
That's a really big deal.
You know, that's.
Very. Different than.
What we actually typically see.
Because most of us don't know how to say
as kids, I'm afraid. Mom.
Yeah, I'm afraidbecause you don't want her to then
have to be burdened with your discomfortfor your father, of course.

(09:33):
Right.
And it's so much more nuancedand complex than that, too.
Because a.
Lot of timesthere's already messages that we've gotten
from the dynamics of the familyand from the unconscious of the parents.
About whether.
Feelings are welcome or not,welcome allowed or not allowed, how
they're going to be received.
So even in like. A case where you.
Have very nice parents,these are not, you know.

(09:55):
Abusive, mean spirited.
Parents, sometimes.
Already, though,the child feels there's a preoccupation.
With mine.
She's busy.
She's got her own anxieties.She's got. Her own things going on.
You know, dad, to.
So what about me? Where do. I go?
Right. That's very. Common.
That's very. Common.
So we just have.

(10:16):
A million scenarios.
Where this. Feminine side of a person.
Really just gets shut up.
And then the masculine side
or the intellect comes into sort of protect us.
Yeah, that's a lot of what happens.
So a lot of people get the message.
You know, the other side of ittoo, is that people are very scared of.

(10:40):
This feeling side.
They equate it because of what.
Goes on early on, because.
Of what Doctor Bail discovered, of.What happens in the womb.
And there's so much pain in thereand so much.
Scary, scary, painful stuff.
Feeling, all feeling.
Is associated with scary. Painful,you know.
It's all. Shut down.
So as. The intellect.

(11:01):
Develops, that feels safer. For a person.
It's it's okay to go there.
We'll just go there. And you see. Iteverywhere.
And people try to solve the world's.
Problems with the. Intellectual side.
Only when you only. Have that side.
It's very limited.
There's not a lot, and.
Especially if.
It's an emotional. Issue, if it's a.

(11:21):
Feeling issue,the intellect isn't going to.
Get very far with it.
Right?
So then there's so many examples of ustrying to soothe ourselves
with our intellectbecause we don't have the capacity
to do that with our feelings or understandour feelings or the feelings of others.

(11:41):
That's right.
Like, if I just buy this pretty thing,I'll feel better.
For sure. And then you don't,
and then you buy another pretty thingor a bigger pretty thing.
Yeah, that's. Usually.
Not going to do it. So
I think so many of us aren't
even aware of this thing,
that we're not operatingfrom a place of feeling.

(12:03):
Right.
How do we get ourselves there?
I mean, we can't all be in therapy.
Like I said, for one reason or another,we don't believe in it.
We can't afford it.
We don't have access to it.
But yet we all are going to, I promise,
I promise,benefit from feeling our feelings.
That's right, that's right.

(12:24):
Yeah.
Look, I mean, my.
Biases with the work that we do here.
And getting peopleconnected to their dream.
You know. What Doctor Bail discovered.
Is when you start to bring in the dreams,
then you're really workingin the emotional arena.
Then you're in the feminine arena because.
That's you'llyou'll see the feeling based story.

(12:45):
In the dreams, and you.
Start to get a pictureof what a person's life has felt like.
To them from the beginning.
So for the. Layperson.
Absolutely start.
You know, just.
Start trying to.
Connect to that part of yourselfmore. Just notice.
What you're. Feeling at any moment,what. Stirs up.
What kinds of feelings, you know.

(13:06):
Start getting curious about.
Your own dreamsand look for the emotional.
Story. In it.
And how will you know that?
How we how would you knowthat you've gotten to the place where you
you've taken
a turn and you think, I connect with that?
Well.
Usually you feel it.

(13:27):
Usually there's a feeling, but,you know, it's it's hard.
Again, I'm coming from the lensof doing this work. Yes.
So that's that's where I see it.
And I'm fortunate that I get.
To help people with.That and in. This way.
So we can have lots of examples of what,
you know, how the feminine might.
Appear. In a dream. Of.

(13:48):
What happened there.
And obviously what you knowis just reinforced again and again,
because you see people here, people
feel people feeling a feeling sorry.
And even though I didn't havea therapeutic relationship with
my husband, when we, you know, ultimatelytalked about enough of my dreams

(14:08):
and we shared ours back and forth and that
first time where I felt it.
Yeah, I mean, Iit was absolutely 112% clear
that it was a feelingand just that little bit
changed the course.

(14:29):
It set me down this path of saying, okay,
okay,there's that's what a feeling feels like.
Right.
And what a beautiful thing.
Yeah. Yeah.
There's really something to it there.
There's something to it.
Since it is incredibly common
for this part of us to be shut down

(14:52):
and becoming, I'd say unfortunately,
more and more so,
I know we're talking about what
can laypeople do, but
how do we
pick up the pace?
How do we help men and women know
that the feminine is of ultra importance?

(15:16):
Well, I. Think conversations like.
This hopefully will help.
We have to start talking about thispart of.
A person more.I mean, I think collectively.
And the good news is I am startingto see it in different circles.
There is more talk of the feminine
happeningin a lot of different arenas, not.
Just here with us.
It's on people's minds.

(15:38):
It's on people's minds.
So we need people to know.
That this part is so. Essential.
To start to develop.
And nurture and let in, and that it's.
Safe to let.
It in and safeto start feeling and including all.
The big.
Scary things that come with it.
And that's it's not easy.
It's not easybecause you're asking people.

(15:59):
To feel a lot of.
What they've been avoiding their.
Whole lives.
Well, and I think there's a lot of
there has been a lot of negativity
in a way, associated with our feelings.
If you know, you share your feelings,you're weak.
Sure. You know, you don't.
You have to come from a place of strength.
It doesn't matterwhether you're a man or a woman.

(16:20):
Oh yeah. And men,especially men especially.
Get a.
Lot of men up messaging. Yes.
Right. And, you know.
The reality. Is a man who.
Has a developed. Feminine.
Side actually is a lot.
Stronger in his masculinity. Too.
That does
not make one effeminate, that, you know.

(16:42):
That's a lie. Yeah. You'll have actually.
A stronger person,you know, all around a more.
Just a whole. Being.
Right?
And that's for both men and women.
So we really just have all had.The message.
To, to get rid of this part of ourselves.
Yes. And for women, it'ssort of you've got those feelings, but,

(17:04):
you know,just suck it up and put them aside.
So muchso that they don't even exist. Oracle.
You know, there were so many in the. Past.
You know, women were really.
Pathologized for.
For having,you know, being histrionic, right.
Or whateverfeelings were just so misunderstood.
Yeah.
You can't you can't hold a job because.
Right.

(17:24):
God forbid you get emotional.
Yeah. You know, we.
Have just really devaluedthis part of a. Person.
Do you think to that
if we were to turn thisinto a welcome positive, that
that stereotypical scenario where a woman,you just automatically think

(17:45):
you're going to put her in this positionwhere she's in charge, let's say.
But how long is that going to lastbefore she sort of falls apart or
falls into histrionics?
Would we lose that
kind of stereotypebecause it's not accurate?
Well, it's not accurate,but I. Think maybe.

(18:06):
We would just start. Welcoming what's.
If there let's say anybody falls apartor has.
An emotional experience.
What's going on for the person.
We don't have to make. That a. Bad thing.
Let's start to understand what peopleare feeling, you know, how come.
Yeah. And why?
Why are they feelingall these feelings. Yeah.
And take the sort of badness out of that.

(18:30):
That's right, that's right.
Look, the problem is when this.
Part of a person. Is not.
Allowed to develop,we have really injured, you know.
Underdeveloped, immature, femininesides running amuck when you have.
Like, the injured baby.
Feelings everywhere, then no wonder.

(18:50):
People are like, oh.
You know, who wants feelings running the.
Show?
That's not working.
Yeah, well, that's because.
You don't have a. Mature.
Developed emotional side here.
We don't have a mature feminine.
We've got a very hurt baby. And
probably the reality is a lot.
Of the parents.

(19:11):
Yeah. Two.
Right. Underdeveloped parts of.
The parents, we don't even really have.The, the. Person.
So you know.
Yeah that that doesn't look good that.
That's not a. Healthy picture.
So I understand why people.
Are scared of that.
In a perfect existence.
There isn't one but let's say close towould we all be born

(19:33):
into this world with
the beautiful ability
to feel our feelings and understandthose of others?
Is it this trauma that we've been
that we've had put on us,
or that we've taken on
the thingthat's really stamping out the feelings?

(19:57):
I mean, yes,
to put it simply,yes, we've all got these.
Imprintsthat have really done a number on.
Everybody's.
Feelings side,sometimes the intellectual. Side too, but.
Definitely the feelings side. Of people.
And when that has been so shut down, put.
To sleep.
Injured.
Killed, annihilated, it is very hard.

(20:20):
To connect to another personreally, from a feeling place.
And so compassion, empathy in a real.
Way, like true.
Compassion, true empathy,not just intellectual empathy.
Because.
You know, I think. Sure,that's a good place to start.
I think a lot of people try.To connect to another person.
Because they'll think through, okay,I see.

(20:41):
You know, it makes sense in my mindwhy you feel.
That way.
It's a very different.
Thingwhen you get the feeling part. Involved.
And you can really feel another person,you know, that's.
That's different. That's different.
So when we.
Allow that part of a.
Person to grow and mature. You.
Get a much more compassionate person and.

(21:03):
Love flows. It can just flow well.
Is it helpful to yourpoint to practice, let's say,
empathy on an intellectual level?
Just let me try this on and see.
It's not a bad idea.
I mean, we definitely wantto try and connect to others.
But you know, I think the reason this.

(21:25):
Work is, is so valuable is.
When people are in this kind of therapy,you can't help.
But start to get a picture of what.Happened to your own feelings.
Side so that you can start to rehabilitatethat part of yourself.
And. Actually truly.
Start to connect to not only yourself.
But other people. From a feeling. Place.
You know.

(21:46):
That's a different. Way of doing it. Yes.
You know, put your mind on itintellectually.
Think about it. Not a bad. Idea.
You're going to have.
A better result if you get your.
Feelings involved.
And but maybethat is a good place to practice.
If we don't have access to.
Sure, fabulous people like you, well.
We should always do our best to.
Try and understand one another.

(22:08):
I mean, we have. A big. Problem.
With that out in the world, right?
So the more we can cultivateunderstanding, the better.
Of course, that's a good idea. It's just.
You know, I would say the next. Step.
In our evolution.
Is to get the.
Feelings involved in the processand given an opportunity.
To really grow up,

(22:30):
really grow up and develop.
And if we're comingfrom that place of feeling.
Which
I would think would also
cultivate love for one another,
we can't possibly beas divided as we are now.
Yeah.
I, I that'll probably take a long timeto say. It.

(22:54):
But five. That's right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Look that's that's rightI think that's real.
Evolution I think that's. True.
Human evolution that that's.
What we were. Designed to.
Do. Right.
Become more loving you know, so.
This way like who who would have thought.
That inviting your dreams inand getting a good understanding

(23:17):
of what you've been dreamingabout your own life from the beginning of.
Your life would actually helpgrow this part of.
You and help your own evolutionand frankly, help humanity.
You know.
So it's it's I think, like I said last.
Time, it's.
A really elegant. System.
It is. And and those dreams are just

(23:39):
giving us keys to our unconscious
where all of this information is storedand is accessible.
Yeah. We just get a really good picture.
That way we can do it without a dream.
We can do an effective. Therapy.
And we can get at the unconscious without.
A dream.
It's just slower.

(23:59):
And it's. Harder.
It's doable. It's absolutely. Doable.
And when people come to meand they don't dream, that's no problem.
First of all.They're going to start dreaming.
Everybody dream.
Everybody dreams, everybody dreams.They'll start.
But you know,and it might take a long time.
That's fine.
There's plenty to talk about.
The unconscious. Is everywhere.
We can see it. Everywherewe can access it everywhere.

(24:20):
It's just when you get a dream, you're.
Like, okay, there it is, right?
You just get a clear pathway to.
What's happening and.
You really can start to get.That emotional.
Picture, right.
So if you'd like, I.
Can share one of those dreams.
I have a few dreams in mind,but there was one

(24:41):
I was thinking about from a patient.
Where we get a good illustration.
This was after a. Significant period.
Of therapy.
Probably at least a few years.
But this.
Dream really. Shows.
I wanted to. Choose it because.
There's a universal. Quality to it.Oh, good.
You know, so this patient.

(25:04):
Had a dream. Where.
They were coming in on a flight. Like the.
Flight was landing, and the lights. Were.
Out on the left side of the plane,and they were landing into a really.
Chaotic. Scene.
And there was more that happened that wereit was personal to the patient, but.
They had to take a hard.
Right turnwhen they got off the plane and into.

(25:24):
The chaos.
It was kind of like a war zone.
But this. Dream.
So in working through this dreamand talking about it and hearing their
associations and in the understandingof what we know from this work.
This patient. Was dreaming.
Already of what it felt like.
To be in the mother.And this was. The birth,

(25:46):
right.
And so.
That baby already. Got the message.
That the lights are out.
So the left side is. The feeling.
Side, left is the. Feminine.
So the lights were all out.
On the left. Side of. The plane, right.
And then had to take. A hard right.
Turn into this. Chaos as that's.

(26:06):
The masculine, right?
The intellect.
And that's very.
True for this person. Right.
And the only way to really survive.
That was survival.
Yeah. I mean, that'swhat Doctor Bail understood, is that.
We we it's all about survival, right?
So this is such a good dream
because it's it's very common.

(26:29):
You know, it's.
Obvious it was. Personal to this patient.
But it really illustrates, I think.
What so many of usgo through coming into this life
and don't even know it, it'sall unconscious, but.
We. Already have the message.
That lights are. Out on feeling.
I better go. To intellect.
Right?
And so what happened with this patient?

(26:52):
So they took that in.
She took. The dream.
And she continued.
This therapy for. A long time.
And we started to see changes.
You know, you have to know.
What you're working with first.
So first we need a.
Picture of the reality.
That's what the. Dreams are going to do.
You know, in the beginning,for a long time, I mean.

(27:13):
Throughout a. Treatment.
You and the patient have to know.
We have to know.
We have to help.
The patient get a working understanding.
Of what their life felt like.
To them from the beginning.
And so, you know. Good for her.
She has this.
Dream where she's very honest and says,oh my God, I.

(27:35):
Before I. Was even born. As I was.
Being born, I knew that the feeling.
Side was shut. Down.
So that's huge.
That's huge.
What a what a dream. Right?
But then you can get. To work. Onceyou know.
That, okay.
You can start to wake that side up.
Start to invite it in and.

(27:56):
Over the years.
There are many dreams that.
Show a revitalization of that side.
Right.
So so this can change.
That's that's the amazing news, right.
That the wonderful news and it's hardone, it's not easy.
It's not like oh let me just turnthe light lights are out.
Let me turn them on. No problem.

(28:17):
Right.
That's hard because that's very scary.
That's very scary.
If you've gone a lifetimewhere feelings have been shut down.
Hurt, whatever the story.
Is, and that is so common.
That is so.
Common, then going and doing somethingdifferent and starting to let them in
is scary.

(28:37):
It's scary. It's hardwork. It's an unknown.
Even though you might understand
that it is the best path for you,it's still unknown.
And even though you know that thatyour known is not good for you, right?
It's what you know. It's what you know.
It's what you know, and.
It's what you have associated with love.

(28:59):
From the family.
Right? It's your.
Parents. It's everything. Right?
So venturing in to that new.
Territory is, is a really big deal.
So many of us have dreams
that sort of represent that where
in our own format, our own symbols

(29:19):
showing that you started outwith this deficit, right?
We've figure it. Out and yeah.
I mean.
I have.
So many dreams that I listen to, and it'salways interesting to hear the themes.
You know, I had permission to share thatone dream, but just the matically.
We see lots of

(29:42):
cold.
Scenarios snow, zombies, alien.
You know what? What?
Let's think about oh my god,I have a zombie apocalypse in my dream.
What?
What do we think that means?
What did that feel like to you?
If the. People around you. Are the walkingdead?
Yeah, right.
Let's start to think about that.

(30:02):
Well, and you mentioned to that boredom
is that there's no feeling really.
There's no.
Feeling. There's no feeling.
So we have to see if.
Someone is feeling boredor disconnected from their life.
Is it that they.
Have their feelings side shut down.
And is that,
a coping mechanism in a way?

(30:24):
Like if I just do nothing,if I'm interested in nothing,
nothing can spring up that I don'tunderstand or don't want to know about.
Sure.
Look,we have to look case by case of of what?
Any individual.
Is. Doing well.
And like you said,some of us would choose substances.
Yeah.
Oh, there's. So many ways or. So.

(30:44):
Humans are so. Creative.
Right. There's so many.
Creative ways to get away. From feeling.
And if we're stuffing our feelings downor not even knowing how to feel them,
we're potentiallydoing physical harm to ourselves as well.
Come out in illnesses. Or it'll.
Just come out sideways in relationshipsor I mean, all kinds of things.

(31:06):
Yeah, it really.
They don't. Actually go away.
I mean, that's, that's,
you know.
The wish. The fantasy is if.
I just.
Don't deal with them, don't feel them,stop them away.
Whatever.
You know, then they disappear.
Out of sight, out of mind. Yeah. Not true.
There's still that.You still have an unconscious.
It's just probably.Making. Your life harder.

(31:27):
In a number of. Ways.
And the feeling center is it as if they'realways trying to come out in some way?
Would I think so I think so, I mean.
This side of a. Person wants to be known.
That's why you're going to be dreamingwhat you're dreaming
because your dream is.
Saying, hey, self, it's the deepest,truest part of you really just.
Trying to get your attention and saying.

(31:48):
Hey, here's, here's what's.
On our mind right now. Here's what.
What we're thinking about.
What we're. Feeling,what we're dealing with.
And if it's, you know, scary.
Stuff, if we've got.
You know, murders and post.
Apocalyptic. Scenesand nightmares, you know.
There's something your mind wants to.
Start. Working on.

(32:09):
But I can also understandwhy I'd want that to go away.
Yeah, yeah.
And people will.
You know, sometimesspend a lifetime running from it.
Yeah.
You know, no one has. To go there. No.
It's just usually better for youif you do. But.
And most of us don't.
And I wonder what happened to us,where we got to the place where

(32:30):
dreams are just typically meaningless.
I mean, most of us wake up in the morning
and go, well,that was dumb or what was that?
Or I don't ever dream and and why would I?
Who cares?
I mean, when when we know youand I, that it
is this valuable gift

(32:53):
that it's part of whowe are day in, day out?
Where did we
begin to dismiss it?
Oh, you know, probably beckoned over.
Eons, over. Eons.
But look, it's because look at whatyou'd have to face if if that had.
Meaning, then your. Worst.
Nightmares. Are. Significant.

(33:14):
Then what? Yeah.
Now you've got to deal.
Yeah. Now you've. Got to face.
A big nightmare, you know?
And and most. People.
Don't want to start. To do that.
And make those connections of how that.
Fits with. Their own. Life.
So. You know, it's hard.
A lot of people.

(33:34):
Don't know how to make that connection.
Because if we take just a.
Generic situation,I'm not talking about families where.
There's outright abuse.
And and things like that, where.
It's easier to see, okay, there's real.
Trauma here and it's undeniable.
But a lot of people, it's easy.
To deny if they've had, you know,
nice enough parentsand they think I had an unremarkable.

(33:57):
Childhood.
So if I have nightmares,that has nothing to do with my life.
Sure. It's hard to make the connection.
Hard to make the connection.
And there's a pressure. On.
Most people to, to thinkthat they had a perfectly good like they.
What do you mean.
What do you mean.
This nightmare has.
To do with. Me and my. Life.

(34:18):
Well we've all been busyfrom the beginning protecting what it is
we have, good or bad or indifferentand I think so much so.
I mean, our imprint is to just
keep that
space safe enough where we can survive
and protect our parents
so they don't harm us.

(34:42):
In the best way possible
to just to break through that is is
so hard.
It's it's huge. It's very hard.
Yeah. It's not easy.
It asks a lot of people.
It asks a lot. Is it worth it?
I think so, I think so.
To be able to actually have.

(35:04):
Your feminine side online.
Is huge.
Huge.
You become a different.
First of all, you.
Become more. Yourself. Yes.
You become more. Yourself.
Your life will start. Feeling.
Better to you.
You have more. Space cleared.
Out, enough. Trash.

(35:25):
From that part of the mindthat things start flowing a little.
Better.
But that's
it. Doing it this way.
It's not easy. It's not easy.
There's not a quick fix.I wish there was a way to go.
Here'show you. Heal your feminine side. Right?
The ten steps. To heal the. Feminine.
You know, we just don't have that rightnow, you know?

(35:46):
Thank God we have this.
It's it's just it's actual work.
Yes, it's actual work.
But you know, that that same patient,for instance.
Years later, a lot of work later.
Had a dream where there was. A. Plane.
Flight five five being piloted.
By two women.

(36:07):
So, you know.
Because their ceiling.
Was it's so beautiful, you know,
that's such ait might sound crazy to people because of.
Where you're getting emotional about that,but to go from a shut
down, just no feeling,no feminine at all to

(36:29):
now there's like a conversationwith these two women.
We're happy. About the. Pilots.
They're in the five. Five, by the way,is. Big change.
Five is change.
So there. Had been. A big change.
That's just such a beautiful thingto hear about and for you to be part of
and for your patientto grow from unbelievable.

(36:50):
Yeah.
And so is that individual
really living a different life now.
From, from where.
She started? Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Are her relationshipswith other people different?
I think she would say yes.
I. Think she would say, yeah.
That's so beautiful.
So I mean.
I just use that to show what's possible.

(37:13):
Yeah, that's an amazing amount of growth.
It's a big amount of growth.
Yeah. And you know, I'm biased.
I just don't see that. Happening in other.
Modalities. Right.
Because because of this.
Piece of bringing the feminine in
that I don't seein a lot of other modalities even.

(37:34):
Look, there's a lot of therapiesthat talk about.
Feelingsand working with feelings, and maybe.
We talk about.
Feeling it in the body.
Or a lot of ways.Of talking about feelings.
But it's it's a different.
Thing than getting them understood, putin their right context and, and really.
Allowed to develop.
In the way that. This work allows.

(37:54):
And and I'm not saying no change happensin these other modalities that,
you know, this just happensto be my area of expertise.
But we get to see. Some. Some real.
Transformation, because in the.
Therapies that.
Are a little more intellectual leaning,you know, and I think Doctor.
Bail talked about this a lot too.
You can gain a lot of wisdom.

(38:16):
You have an intellectual treatment.
You're going to.
Maybe learn a lot about.
A lot of things,maybe your own life and the way.
The world works.
But it's all. Intellect.
It's not.
Is it more of a learning how to cope?
That can be. You know, you.
Can use tools. Yeah.
When this thing happens that triggers this

(38:37):
I know that if I go do thisthat will go away.
Right. Yeah.There's a lot of focus right now.
On affect regulation,emotional regulation.
You know nervous system regulation.
That's a big thing. And that's fine.
There's there's nothing wrong with that.
It's just that we're not understandingwhat's really happening.
What are we really upset about.

(38:58):
If there's so much emotional.
Dysregulation what's. Underneath it.
Right.
Someone can have all the toolsin the world to keep them self.
Very regulated, but they won't know whythey are the way that they are.
What are they actually so upset about?
You know.
Let's start to. Nurture that side.
And allow it. To really develop.
Instead. Of just.

(39:18):
Trying to manage it, you know.
And I, I appreciate that,
you know, we have a, a lot of
pharmaceutical waysthat we can make ourselves
feel better,help us with our depression. Yes.
And fortunately,we have those things available to us.

(39:41):
Are we doing ourselves
more of a service by addressing
that thing that we're trying to manage
with medication in, in addition
to like continue to.
Yeah. Look I think in a, in a.
Perfect world maybe we go for a.

(40:02):
Deeper understanding.
And the meds if, if they're needed,if someone is in so much pain
all the time that it's. Like, look.
You want me to come inand talk about my dreams, but I'm.
I can barely function in my life.
You know, sometimes we do need a.
A helping.
Hand, a.
Crutch, just to get a little more stable,to start to be able to talk.

(40:24):
Right.
And just to be,
to have the spaceto really start to dig in there.
But I.
Think digging in.
There is. Important, you know, the meds.
Will serve.
In that same way.
As like,let's just keep, you know, really a lot.
Of the messaging that comes with.
That, it's just
the quiet, the feeling, quiet,the feeling just settle you down.

(40:47):
The same thing that you been toldall your.
Life, right?
Right.
It will just keep keep that going.
You know. So so you're not going to see.
That the.
Transformation I just.
Talked about that gets. Me so emotional.
Yeah.
You're just not going to see that kindof transformation with a medication.
You know it might the person feel.

(41:07):
A little better. In their lifeand maybe that's enough for them.
And they go, I just I just want toget through my days and that's fine.
Right.
But if someone wants the deeper change.
We have to get the.
Feeling part of the person. Involvedbecause.
There's no transformation.
Unless it touches the heart,
right?
It has to touch the heart.

(41:27):
And there's no evolution to thiswithout touching the heart, right?
Yeah.
Again, a person can get.
Wiser, they can get smarter.
You know, and that's not a bad thing.
And maybe that's all someone wantedfor it.
Depends what.What the. Person's soul wants.
You know, how far does someone want to go?
Not everybody has to go all the way.

(41:48):
In and change the whole flight aroundand get on this new plane, you know that
that might not be.
Everybody's path.
And that's okay.
We're just showing what's possible.
You know, that that can happen.
And that's. Huge.
That's huge.
That's a yeah that's a big change.
The flight five five wasn't lying.

(42:10):
That's a lot of change.
That's a lot of change.
And and just to think that something likethat is possible.
Right. Is just an eye opener.
You know that that you can do somethingto make your feeling life better.
That's right. Yeah.
That's the.
Message too, is like, if.

(42:30):
You're feeling so badly,most people come to.
Therapy because. Something's not going.Well. Yes.
You know,there's something that doesn't. Feel good.
In their.
Life, either knowingly or unknowingly,or I just feel bad.
And you don't know why or. Why.
Something, right?
Something'snot going the way you want it to.
Right?
So, yeah, you get to see likethis is changeable in a big way.

(42:53):
In a big way.
How much you want to changeit is up to you
and how much you dig into thisand how open, you know, it has to.
Really. Resonate for a person.
And it's a it's a road to get there.
It's not a straight line, as we know.
There's a big process.
Involved. Of actually.
Doing it. But it's possible.
And and I think people need that,

(43:15):
understanding that.
Yeah, it's it's possible.
It is.
And it's not just, sort of this
airy fairy wish.
I mean, it'sa. That's reality is a reality.
Yeah. And it's againand it's not just like.
You know,I feel more regulated in my life.
I'm doing, you know, and.
Again, all of that is fine.

(43:35):
Those that level.
Of change is just fineif that's what a person wants.
But I.
Think the beauty.
Of this work is that such deep.
Transformation. Is possible.
And a lot of people don't know that,you know, or.
They try all these different. Ways and
they have more. Success.
In some places than others. Right?

(43:57):
But you know this. It does work.
It does work.
And I think one of the, easiest things
to seewhen you are going down this path is
the way your
connections to other people change
in just the most loveliest of ways.
I think so, and mean you can look back,you know, 20 years ago, 30 years ago,

(44:22):
these were the types of relationshipsI had.
That's right.
And now I have these relationshipsand they're they're like this.
They're not like this.
And it's.
Clear. That's right. And it's precious.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not. Just like,oh, my. Dreams are so different.
Know life is different.Yeah. Your life is different.
Your relationships are different.

(44:43):
Yeah. Absolutely.
And as people are going through thisand they have these dreams.
So your patient had this
first dream of the left side of the planewith the lights out
their dreams begin to change.
You gave us the beginning and. Yetthere's.
So much in. Between.
And does that person see that.

(45:04):
Like oh my gosh I'm not dreaming.
Dreaming so much about that chaoson the right side.
It's a smaller chaos or there's not achaos, or maybe it's just dark outside.
And just.
To be clear to that.
Might, you know, depending on what'shappening in a person's life, they might.
Revisit that original chaosat various points based.
On what's happening.

(45:24):
So it's not like thatmagically. Just goes away forever.
There's a different relationship.
To it, and there's awareness of,okay, I know what's happening.
Here. I see we're back here.
Now and the person will know.
You know,they just see things a lot more clearly.
There's there's a real clarity that.
Happens once you understand the. Waythis all works.
So it's not just, oh, magically.

(45:44):
That's all. Gone. There's no problems.
And now I'm just. I've got. The womenflying and it's great.
You know.
There's they're. Back and forth. A lot.
There's a lot of. Back and forth and.
Yeah.
We and we. Get.
Smaller dreams in betweenshowing a strengthening.
Like, this person had a dreamwhere they. Were exercise.
Using the. Left leg.

(46:05):
You know.
They were very,
very dedicated to.
Strengthening the left side.
And it was, you know, very. Literal.
In this dream of strengtheningthe left leg.
And there was a, you know, family memberstrying to interfere. And.
You know, they were like,no, I'm not. Going to do this.
Yeah. Wow.
So there was a real. Dedication to it.

(46:25):
In that, in that process too.
And I think this is
really difficult to discern
is there's some amount of backtrackingbecause,
you I know
Bernard used to call itthe internal saboteur, where you're
trying to get back to your status quo,even though it's not comfortable.

(46:47):
Yeah, but you you're saying to yourself,you don't need to go down this path.
Remember what it's like.
You want to make sure you keepall those balls in the air.
Don't drop one. You're dropping one. Yeah.
And then you have to almost battleyourself. Yes.
Absolutely.

(47:08):
Yeah. And it's it's not really yourself.
It is.
But it's.
Not even your true. Ityour truest self is yourself. Yes.
You're battling this internal. Saboteur.
And your imprint.
Your imprint. Right.
Which isn't even really you.
That's a lie.
You've taken that in as you. And it's not.
So. So much to know aboutwhat is you and what is.

(47:29):
And that's. Right, that's. Right.
But I think you is the partthis feeling where.
So I want to be careful about that toobecause I.
You know, sometimes a person'semotional life, they won't even know.
That it's. Actually not. Theirs.
Maybe they're plugged into the emotional.
Reality of a parent.
And we have a. Lot of.

(47:50):
Peeling.
Off of thatbefore we actually get to. Them.
And they're real feminine side.
And so, for example,what would we be doing in
supportof the emotional of one of our parents?
We would.
Well, it's.Different than, oh, I'm just going.
To take care of this. Parent.
Sometimes we actually become that parentin a lot of ways.

(48:12):
So you'll see parallel,
You know.
Whatever that.
Parent was strugglingwith, you might just.
See a lot of parallels.
Like for. Some reason,I keep running into.
These issues.This is my emotional experience.
I'm frustrated. I'm very. Irritable.
All the time.
My mother was very irritable all time.
You know, you just get little cluesthat I wonder if it's really.

(48:34):
Even the person if. We have.
You know,someone with anxiety, depression.
Whatever the. Presenting issue.
Is, we we start to really peel backa lot of.
Layers and start to wonder who's anxiety.
Is, who's. Depression.
Is that.
Sometimes it's not even them.
They think I'm just. This way.
And I'm just. Really irritable.All the time.

(48:55):
They don't know they're living as.
Their mother or as their father.
That's so hard to grasp. It so hard.
You start to see. It in the.
That's where the. Dreams get.
Really helpful, because then you're like.
You know, you might have a dreamwhere you're driving one of their.
Cars or you're in their close.
Or I heard.
A dream recentlywhere somebody had mom's really. Old.

(49:16):
Flip phone in their. Pocket.
And they didn't realize.
It and go, oh, so you.
Didn't, you know, but.That's such a big deal.
You didn't realize you have.
Mom's old flip phone in. Your pocket.
So we have to start.
To think about what that meansfor the person, right?
We've got an outdated. Technology.
That belonged to the motherthat you didn't know.

(49:38):
You were using,
right?
So really, you're not yourself. And
so, you know, with. Each of those.
Dreamsand each of those interpretations, you.
Get, you peel back a layer,you peel back a layer.
And you're just making space.
For that. Person's feelings side.
To start, to grow,to start to show itself.

(50:01):
You know, in time.
Well, evenI just this very last night, I'm
embarrassed to say I shouldn't be,that I had a dream.
I was in my parent's car.
I was a teenager. I was in the backseat.
My father was driving,my mother was silent.
My teacher was on the phone and.
And I thought,

(50:22):
you know, for me,that was like a little bit
frustrating because I thought,why am I still.
Yeah, that's right.
But it's one of those internal saboteurthings.
Well,I, I don't know, we'd have to look at.
What's going on. We go.
Okay, what what's going on in your lifethat you went back there.
Yeah. Right. You know, there's.
But there's a reason, right?
So it's always better to know.

(50:42):
I don't think it's anything you need to,you know, get embarrassed about.
It's like, oh,thank you. Thank you for showing me,
I thank goodness I got the message. Now.
Now I can start to think about thatand go, wait a minute.
Why am I going where?
Yeah. Where's dad driving. Yeah.
You know, if.That's who. Was driving in the car.
So how is dad.
Driving in my life right now.

(51:03):
But so fascinating.
Being quiet. Yeah.
Yeah it's. Fascinating. It is.
Yeah I mean when I woke up this morningand I remembered that dream so clearly
I wasn't
bothered by it.
I was intrigued by it.
Yeah.
I. Think you know that's. A good. Yeah.

(51:24):
I mean people can feel.
Whatever waythey want sure about their dream.
But yeah if you. Can have. Some curiosity.
And some interest and then goHow about that?
Okay, here I am.
You know how. Old.
I was in the dream. And here's the set up.
So now I get to look at how come.
How come that right. Now. Yeah. And

(51:46):
I have you to talk to you about this.
But, you know, just even on my own,I can begin to ask questions
about the different elements.
And what in that dreammade me feel something
or what else in that dreammade me feel something else.
And and like you say, why now?
What about my life?
What about the world? Right?

(52:07):
That's right.
Yeah. That's right.
Because we do dream
about things.
We dream for.
Globally. For all of us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look.
I mean, people will dream for themselvesand they'll
bring their personal material in,and that's so helpful in the treatment.
It's so. Necessary.
And the dream for everybody.

(52:28):
So that's. Why I wanted.
To talk about that. Plane dream,because I think that's.
A collective. Dream. It's her dream.
But it's it's so.
Universal. So then
given that we're in the
end, she's with the two female pilots.
Does that speak to us

(52:50):
trying to get there as a humanity?
Well, again, it shows what's possible.
You know, it's it's her dream.
So, you know, that's.
Her hard work.
Hard one work, and she gets.
To go through life with.
A more integrated and mature feminine.
Self.
So that's a big deal.
And yeah, I.

(53:11):
You know.
We are all so connected.
So if. Someone can do that.
It has ripple effects.
And others. Feel it.
And others will send, you know.
Other people in her life will go.
Oh my God. That's possible.
Right. So we we.
Have an effect on one another. That's why.
You know.
That's Doctor Bail. Brings us.
Back all.

(53:31):
The time to the mother and the babybecause enormous impact.
The more moms start to understand this.
And we want to. Be clear, because.
I'm saying a lot of things that go wrongbetween a mother
and the baby and that feelingwhen you know the feeling parts.
Go sideways.
It's better.
We know it's not. About.Bashing the mom at all.
Because.
That mother went throughwhat she went through in her early.

(53:53):
Life. And so on and generationally. Right.
We just nowget to be honest about it and look.
And when people. Talk about.
Generational trauma and epigeneticsand all these things, we get to.
See how that works.
And the morewe can actually, empower mothers.
With.
This knowledgeand with this work and, and and with,

(54:15):
an opening to their feminine.
Side, their feeling.
Side, you know, then it.
Starts to change for the baby.
It starts to change for everybody.
Right? So it's such a big deal.
That's profound. It'snot just like good for.
You know, any individual patient.
I mean, yes, that's great.
We're all connected.
And I think it's it's okayfor us to know that we affect each other.

(54:39):
I think often we know that. Yeah.
But I think oftentimes we don't feel likewe're entitled to affect someone else
or that we just are so insignificantthat we can't affect anyone else.
But no matter what,we're affecting people.
Of course, no matter our stance. Right.
We always are.
Yeah. That's why I was.
Just thinkingabout on the drive over. Here that,

(55:02):
And I might.
Get the exact.
Wording of the quote wrong, but there'sthat very famous Doctor Maya Angelou.
Quote where she says.
Something to the effect.
Of, you know,people will forget what you said,
they'll forget what you did,but they will.
Always remember how you made them. Feel.
Yes. Yeah.
That is you.
I mean, we can all point to 75 differentexamples of that in our lives.

(55:25):
Yeah. We have an impact. People remember.
The feeling.
Yeah. So.
And maybe just enough to to
have been made uncomfortable
or curious or happy.
And then we sort of move on.

(55:47):
But if we were more in touchwith our feminine side,
we would be like drinking that in.
I think so. Yeah.
And we could talk about these things more.
There's just more space. For that side.
You did tell me about
there a dream that a patient of yours had

(56:09):
where there was a scary spideror they were a scary spider.
Oh and they were being hurtby family members.
Right. So this was actually the.
Same patient with the, with the planeI. See.
Was this in between those two?
This was in between those dreams.
There was there was something.

(56:29):
With a yeah, a big scary spider.
And some family members
were like beating it with a bat,and then it transforms into a little.
Girl.
And and the.
Little girl basically tells tells the.
Patient. Like, you should have. Let me in.
I would have helped.
So that's another one of these dreamswhere we.

(56:51):
See what's. Happened to feelings.
Right? They they get so beat.
You know, I justI feel what we all go through.
I mean, that's so much pain.That's just clearly.
That's right. People are so scared that.
The reason I like this dream.
Too, is it shows that this the.
Feminine side. Was.
Telling the person.

(57:12):
If you let me in, I would have helped you.
So this spider that
transformed into a girland the girl represents the feminine?
Yes. Did. That spider does too.
So that's. Really important.
Because you'll. See in dreams.
People will.
Turn feeling into something terrifying.
Scary, like an alien invasion.

(57:34):
The zombies and the zombie.
Well, the zombies might be the feelingless. People see you.
I mean, we have to see which way it goes.
But sometimes there's, you know. Attacks.
Coming from.
Whatever side when it's. Feeling.
So feelings get turned into somethingvery scary.
So this was.
Such an interesting dream.
And again, I think one of these universal.

(57:55):
Dreams because this is.
How the feminine has been. Treated.
Right? It's it's.
Been turned into the.
Scary. Monster.
That we're supposed to just beat away.
And beat up and, you know, get.
Out of herewhen the truth is, we should be.
Inviting it. And it will. Help.
It's there to help.

(58:15):
So, yeah, it's a.
That is one of those dreams.For everybody.
The feelings are there to help you.
And it's it's a good feeling to knowthat facing those things,
facing that scary spider
or the monsters running after you

(58:35):
ends upcreating a better existence for you.
That if you can face these thingswhich aren't reality, but.
Well, there is a reality,there is a reality that the.
Feelings are thereand they have been terrifying to let in.
So it's very it is scary.
You know, it will.
Feel there's a.

(58:56):
Reason, I mean.
All any horror movie that you.
Can imagine, all the horror moviesthat exist in the world,
guess where they come from?
They come from the human unconscious.
They come from our imprints.
They come from what.It felt. Like to be in a womb.
And we come up with some very,very scary stuff.
I'm not personally a. Horror movie person.

(59:19):
I do not surprise.
Yeah, I don't enjoy it.
But, you know, it'sthat's where it comes from.
So this is what we're askingpeople to face and feel.
So this is why we. Go, no thank you.
I'm going to beat you.What? You're two scary.
Get out of here, you big, scary feeling.
Beat you away with a stick.
I see.
Right, but again it shows what's.

(59:39):
Possible in a treatment.
It will transform and help.
You if you let. It in. It's there to help.
It's there to help.
You know,feelings are always there to help.
When you connect a feeling, you.
Have a better. Sense.
Of how to guide your life.
You will know, hey.
This relationship,it doesn't feel good to me.
It might be familiar.

(01:00:01):
This might actually be the.
PatternI've been in. Forever. In a relationship.
But guess what?
It doesn't feel good.
And I know. That.
So I can choose something else.
What a what a gift. What a gift.
And so many people get.
Stuck in that and they might know it.
It doesn't necessarily mean they're numband they don't know that.
It doesn't. Feel good.
But they go with itanyway. You go with it.

(01:00:21):
It's familiar. Yeah.They're essentially choosing the family.
They're choosing the imprint.This is what this was love.
This is love.
Yeah.
Or and this is what my family would wantfor me.
Yeah.
Any of these things. Right.
But when. We really get to let the.
Feelings guide, when, when we havethe women piloting the plane, you know.

(01:00:42):
We get to start.
To listen to those things and,and nurture the things.
That feel good.
You know, and.
More of that will start to come inbecause there's more space for it now.
So you see,
you know.
Because the unconscious, it'skind of like.
A radio signal that creates situations.

(01:01:05):
In your life. It's magnetizing people and.
Whatever into your life.
Things will start to feel.
Different, and you'll get differentexperiences when you. Let.
Feeling in and and.
Allow a healing.
Of that feminine side,
you know, and. Really a resurrection.
Because for so many of.
Us put to sleep or killed. Yeah.

(01:01:28):
And really kill.
I don't use the term killed lightly.
Yeah.
You know, it's there's a brutality.
We see it in that dream.I mean, beaten. Yeah.
And that's not even, you know, this isn't.
As far.
As dreams go.
It's not the most violent dreamwe can imagine.
But it still look at.
Look at what we're dealing with. Yeah,brutal. Brutal.

(01:01:50):
And then we have.
You know, many more violent,violent dreams and we go, okay.
Okay, this is what we've endured
and have tried to not feel right.
And we think we're better offby continuing
to not feel,because the only thing we can feel that.
Right? Right.It's only bad. It's only good.

(01:02:10):
You're only going to hurt.It's only going to hurt. Right?
You know, and we know.
That the reality isyou keep. Those feelings away.
You keep all the feelings.
But you can't be selective with it.
You know what?
I'm going to keep. The scary.
Painful feelings away.
But only the good. Stuff. Gets to come in.That's not.
Reality. It's not going to work.
That's not a real. It's not real.
Yeah, it's not grounded.

(01:02:30):
That scenario can't. Exist.
Yeah. We we need look.
We're humans who I think came herefor a more full spectrum experience.
We have a little ways to go. Yeah.
We do.
And again, I really feel like this,this place of coming from feelings
allows you to even attractdifferent people.

(01:02:52):
People that
also operate from feelings.
Or maybe you uncover the feeling part
in someone elsea little bit because you're,
you know, sort of transmitting this.
Yeah. People will generally. Sense.
Safety in somebody.
That has. A more developed feminine side.

(01:03:13):
They're just not and they might notput their finger on it that way and go.
Oh, this. Person has.
Got this lovely.
Feminine part of their nature.
They will just feel a.
Certain opennessand a safety and a warmth.
You know, all. Of those lovely qualities.
Those typically belong to the feminineagain, the masculine.
And I'm not putting that side down at all.

(01:03:35):
It's so important.
We also need a developed masculine side.
That's how we.
Go out into the worldand accomplish these things and have.
These, you know, technological.
Advancements.It's a it's a wonderful side.
And it's.
Going to. On its own.
It doesn't really need to be to addressed.
Yeah.
And sometimes it looks sometimes an.

(01:03:57):
Imprintcan sometimes touch the intellect and,
and put limits on how smart a personis supposed to be and whether.
They have strugglesintellectually. In different ways.
So it's notthat it's not part of the picture.
It's part of the picture.
It's part of the whole.
It's we want both of these sidesdeveloped.
The reason we're focusingso much on the feminine

(01:04:17):
is, as we see in the dreams,and as we see all around us in humanity.
This side is.
Not. In good shape.
Collectively. It's not in good shape.
So that's where so.
Much healing and attention is. Needed.
And we're in a little bit of an emergencysituation.
We're in an emergency situation. Right.

(01:04:38):
So it's a good time to start.
Listening and inviting.
This side in and really listening.
And really understanding and.
Intellects going to be.There. It's not going anywhere.
You know, it's not going to make a.
Person stupid to start to to have.
More feelings.
You know, thatthat might be. A worry for people.
I bet it is.
And see, we I mean, we all thinkthat if we put more in this cup,

(01:05:02):
that means we've taken from that cup.
So yeah, no, not how it works.
You can still be.
A very. Smart person. In fact.
You will. Be smarter.
People with a more developed.
Feminine. Side.
Actually, the intellect can'thelp but grow from that too.
Right?
They work together.
It's supposed to be harmonious.It's supposed to be the.
Feelings guiding a personand the intellect following.

(01:05:25):
You know that again, beautiful system.
And for all humans.
Any gender, any gender, not just women.
I'm saying feminine, but all genders.
All people.
Right. So.
Well, you are amazingly

(01:05:45):
wonderful and you make mebe even more curious than I've ever been.
And I can't figure out.
I mean, you're just so wiseand so full of feeling.
And definitely thank you for having me.
On to. Cry again on your podcast.
Oh, but you're just I mean, your wholebeing is lovely and you're just you.

(01:06:11):
You offer mo so much more than
what is representedby your years on earth.
So you you make me completely believe
in a bigger, more beautiful picturethan my little surroundings.
That's so kind. Oh, but it's it's.
I can't thank you enough for carrying onwith this work.

(01:06:34):
And, I mean, I just feel like it'spart of who you are.
It's.
You're not wearing it on the outside.
It's on the inside.
Thank you for saying that.
And it's a rarity.
Privilegeto be able to do this work with people.
It's it'sthe biggest. Privilege of my life.
We hope that more people likeyou come along to help us.

(01:06:54):
So thank you.
And we'll talk with you again soon,because I can't help
but want to talk with you again soon.
We'll talk more.
Thank you,thank you, thank you for listening.
Thank you for joining in.
And we know this was interesting for you.
So we know you're goingto come back. Thank you.