19. You Don’t Need More Time to Heal — You Need New Experiences - Becoming Sunshine

Episode Transcript
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Madeline (00:00):
Welcome to Becoming Sunshine.
For those of you that know me,you know that Sunshine has been
an alias of mine for almost adecade now, and sunshine also is
me becoming my highest self, andthat's what this podcast is
about.
I'm here to help you understandyourself better and maybe learn

(00:21):
some more about myself along theway.
Thanks so much for joining me.
I'm excited.
Hey friends, I haven't recordedan episode in a while.
I've really been locking in andtrying to realign with myself
and my life.
It's good to take a step backand reset.
In the past month or so, I'verealized the direction I wanna

(00:44):
take things and what I wanna donext.
If I hadn't taken this time, Iprobably wouldn't have figured
these things out.
There's new projects I wannawork on and I get the best ideas
when i'm well rested.
You can't be creative all thetime.
You need those times to reset.
Being in our feminine energy isall about being in flow.

(01:05):
We're supposed to be open toreceiving.
Hustling all the time goesagainst our nature.
It's important to take alignedaction and work hard, but it's
also important to give yourselfrest and trust that things are
gonna come to you when they'remeant to.
That's what manifestation means.
That's what it means to be inalignment.
Women were put on this earth tocreate, we create life.
Men can't do that.

(01:26):
men were designed to work,that's the way their hormones
are set up and that's how theyvalue themselves.
We're meant to be in ourcreative pursuits and it's
unnatural for us to be go, go,go all the time.
If you're crashing out orstressing over something, it's
because you're not beingcreative enough and that

(01:46):
creative energy needs to gosomewhere.
In the last month I've openedmyself to new experiences and I
pushed myself outside of mycomfort zone.
I met someone recently, and Ihadn't really opened myself up
to anyone new in a year and ahalf like crazy.
I just didn't feel ready.
And there just wasn't reallyanyone that I was that
interested in.

(02:07):
It just takes a lot to turn myhead, which I don't think is a
bad thing.
I think the more time and energyyou pour into yourself, the
higher your standards are, andyou're not just gonna date
anybody or talk to anybody, butI also Heard that you don't need
more time to heal.
You need new experiences to showyour nervous system a new
reality.
And I think that's so true'causein the past month I feel like

(02:30):
I've 10 Xed my healing.
Him exposing me to newexperiences and showing me a new
potential life for myself, wasprobably way more healing than a
lot of the work I've done on myown.
I think that was part of theattraction.
It wasn't even necessarily tohim, it was to this new life

(02:50):
that I imagined for myself.
I wasn't sure what I needed, orI felt burnt out with my current
life.
I needed a change of scenery andI'm shifting things in my circle
and who I'm spending time with.
Having these new experiences andmeeting new people, people that
are more aligned and come from asimilar background as me, and

(03:12):
are not only having a bunch ofsuccess, but they're actually
celebrated for where they'vecome from.
Having that is so refreshing andnice because for so long so much
shame has been put on me byother people, by past partners
and past relationships.
Meeting people that have comefrom the same industry and that

(03:32):
are in industries that I amcurrently pursuing, as creators
is just so expansive and it'sdone so much for my subconscious
and my healing.
When you're manifesting a lifefor yourself, your subconscious
has to believe that it'spossible for you.
Seeing examples of people andmeeting people that are doing
stuff that I wanna be doing thatcome from a similar background,

(03:55):
that's way more inspiring thanyou having to believe that it'll
happen or not having anyexamples to pull from.
My perspective on a lot haschanged and I was feeling bad,
that I hadn't been as social,but I think it's normal to
become less attentive of afriend when you're focusing on

(04:19):
yourself and leveling up.
I'm not gonna be as availablefor everyone.
I'm not gonna have the time toget together all the time or
talk all the time.
That's why your significantother becomes so important
because you don't have time foryour friends like you used to
when you're building a brand ora business.
the people that become the mostimportant are the people in your

(04:39):
inner circle.
When it comes down to it, itends up just being you and your
partner and maybe the family youbuild together.
I used to have really big groupof friends and I feel like now
it's not really like that, but Ifeel like things are more
aligned than they used to be.
I have more clarity around thedirection that I wanna take my

(05:00):
life and my brand and it's allfor this greater purpose.
Friendships falling off,relationships falling off, it's
a good thing.
Honestly, it's definitely hard.
But again, I think realizingthese things, it's just a part
of life and a part of levelingup.
Taking these pauses is also areally good time to reframe

(05:21):
things.
I feel like I'm a master atreframing things, honestly, even
if I'm upset about something fora day or two, I'm really good at
finding the silver lining insomething, or the greater
meaning for something.
For example, this guy that I metrecently, I don't really know if
it's gonna go anywhere.
I don't really think so, but fornow, he did what he was meant to

(05:42):
do for me.
In the past month or so, I wasable to fully let go of old
wounds that my ex left.
I was able to open my heartagain and be excited about
someone.
He exposed me to newexperiences.
He encouraged me to try newthings and expanding my network
which I love.

(06:02):
I have dated people in the pastthat wanted to keep me small,
and it was really refreshing tobe with someone that wanted to
support and push me to reach forbigger and better for myself.
Also the whole time he wastelling me I'm beautiful and
being so attentive, affectionateand accommodating.
Showing me that there are somany new guys that I could meet

(06:24):
any day that are gonna have animpact.
I just met this person probablysix months ago, and it's
exciting knowing that you canmeet someone any day that's
gonna change so much for you.
I've been transitioning for thelast year and a half with what I
wanna do and the more I meet newpeople and have new experiences
the more aligned everythingfeels and the more clarity I'm

(06:46):
getting around where I wannatake my brand.
I feel like I've had a lot ofvalidation lately from people,
and from watching othercreators.
Seeing that the knowledge andexperiences that I've had, have
a lot of merit and value, andthe wisdom I have Has not only
helped me, but it could help somany more people.
Especially other women when itcomes to men and dating and

(07:07):
relationships.
I've spent the last decadestudying men, interacting and
engaging with men.
A lot of people don't have thesame kind of access I've had,
and I'm really excited to sharemore of that.
In the past I've had people thathave hated on me for the way
I've chosen to support myselfand made me feel like I didn't

(07:27):
really have a lot to offer orthat my experiences weren't
valuable.
Being around new people andbeing expanded by so many people
that are using the knowledgethey have and packaging it and
helping other people, I feellike I could do the same.
Also, too, it's a cool clap backif the things people have

(07:48):
devalued me for is actually thething that ends up helping so
many people.
I have skills that you reallycan't teach and I have a
knowledge base that most peopledon't have the access to.
It's not only gonna help otherwomen in the industry but it
could also help women in generalbecause men are men.
Love your man, but you need tounderstand him more than you

(08:09):
love him, If you understand yourman, you understand what he
needs if he's stressed or he'swhatever, you know how to take
care of him.
That's what's gonna keep therelationship healthy and keep
you both feeling emotionallysafe.
I know we've all heard that theman is supposed to love the
woman more than she loves him.
For the longest time I was soconfused by that.

(08:30):
I was like, what does that mean?
You need to be with a man thatloves you because then he is
gonna show up and take care ofyou in a way that makes you feel
loved, and when you're feelingloved by him, it's very easy to
fall in love.
Because even with this guy thatI was seeing recently, at first
I was indifferent about him.

(08:51):
And then I started to spend sometime with him and he was so
accommodating and soaffectionate and was really good
at attending to the lovelanguages that I need, and that
made me feel loved.
And so I developed feelings forhim and that's how that works.
Starting something new hasdefinitely been interesting.
I've seen in real time, how muchI've healed and the work that

(09:12):
I've done and how I'm handlingthings differently.
lately I've just been letting goand letting things be, I'm
trying new things and my life ison a new trajectory because of
it.
I'm getting more clarity aroundwhat I want my brand to look
like having faith that thingshappen in divine timing and that

(09:35):
the right people are gonna findme.
I had such a different visionfor my brand a year ago and such
a different vision for my lifeand everything.
Sometimes when things don'thappen as quickly as we would
like them, it's because we needmore time to figure out exactly
what's authentic or what weactually wanna do.
Things that I wanted to do ayear ago, I have such different

(09:56):
priorities now and The brandthat I'm creating feels more and
more authentic.
In the beginning it was more ofa spiritual, wellness type lean,
and now it's catered more torelationships, accepting the
person that I am and just beingso authentically myself, and not
caring how other people perceiveme or who doesn't like me fully

(10:17):
leaning into that feels so good.
The more I lean into that thebetter the response has been.
Redirection is protection.
There's so many things that ifthey had worked out, like
relationships, business stuff Iwouldn't be where I am now and I
wouldn't be on the trajectorythat I am now and honestly it's
beautiful.
It's all part of the journey.
I've been fascinated by peopleand the way people operate and

(10:41):
engage with each other, and justunderstanding people and also
understanding myself better.
I feel like that knowledge andalso like being boy obsessed or
whatever it's been frustratingin the past, but going through
that and healing thoseattachments and patterns it's
all for a greater purpose andit's led me here now.
People that are chronicoversharers, they're the ones

(11:02):
that are creators or influencersor podcasters and so it's the
stuff that you think is not agood thing about you or it's a
flaw or something.
You're an overshare or your boycrazy or you're always having
relationship drama or whatever.
People always come to me forrelationship advice, and it's
just like, that's the kind ofstuff that people relate to me

(11:26):
with and stuff people wanna talkabout.
That's for a reason, it's whatI'm meant to do.
I have a lot of plans for thepodcast and what I wanna talk
about on here.
New episodes about men and theclub and things that I've
learned, and of courserelationships.
I'm really excited for the newdirection.
And despite all these breaks andthese pauses, I feel like
sometimes it's necessary inorder for you to have clarity

(11:49):
around where you wanna go and itends up being that much better
for it.
This new direction I'm taking isgonna be a lot more aligned and
just a lot more beneficial foreveryone.
That's why I started this in thefirst place.
I wanted to help people heal,along with myself and so yeah,
I'm excited.

(12:10):
I will talk to you guys soon.
Bye.

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19. You Don’t Need More Time to Heal — You Need New Experiences

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