22. The Real Glow Up is Coming Back to Yourself

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The Real Glow Up is Coming Back to Yourself

This week, we’re redefining what it really means to glow up. It’s not about the fake tan, the filler, or the filters — it’s about healing, coming home to yourself, and embracing the version of you that feels the most real. I’m sharing how I’ve been letting go of outdated beauty habits, learning to honor my natural skin tone, and reconnecting with what makes me feel confident from the inside out.

From internal peace to skincare, boundaries, and self-acceptance, this episode is a reminder that the real glow-up happens when you stop trying to be someone else and finally become you.

In this episode, we talk about:
✨ How external beauty routines can mask inner insecurities
✨ Why embracing your natural features is the ultimate act of confidence
✨ Healing your relationship with your body, skin, and self-image
✨ The link between health, self-care, and authentic radiance
✨ What it means to glow from within — physically, emotionally, and spiritually

“The real glow up isn’t something you achieve — it’s something you uncover.”

Mentioned in this episode:

• Color theory & dressing for your natural undertones
• The impact of beauty standards on self-worth
• Tips for building confidence through self-care
• My personal skincare and wellness reset

Listen if you’re ready to:
🌿 Feel beautiful in your own skin
💫 Let go of comparison and perfectionism
🌸 Reclaim your confidence and glow from the inside out

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Episode Transcript

Madeline (00:00):
Welcome to Becoming Sunshine.
For those of you that know me,you know that Sunshine has been
an alias of mine for almost adecade now, and sunshine also is
me becoming my highest self, andthat's what this podcast is
about.
I'm here to help you understandyourself better and maybe learn

(00:21):
some more about myself along theway.
Thanks so much for joining me.
I'm excited.
Hey friends.
Welcome back to BecomingSunshine.
So today I wanna talk about glowups.
It's a new month, new energy,and I decided to commit to

(00:42):
myself fully this month.
I had this realization recently.
I feel like I've been thinkingabout wanting to do this for a
while now, but I just I don'tknow, was scared.
It seems silly, but I feel likethe white girlies will
understand.
So for whoever's watching thisvideo, you can see that I'm

(01:03):
pretty fair today, pretty pale,and I've decided to embrace my
natural skin tone.
For years I did the faketanning.
I did the tanning beds.
At one point I was takingmelanin peptide shots in order
to make my skin darker.
I did that for years and I didthe tanning bed for years and I

(01:28):
used to do the the spray tans,and I stopped doing that for a
while and I recently, in thispast year started doing those
again just'cause I was tired ofdamaging my skin.
I've always been really intoskincare and beauty and
wellness, and it just doesn'tmake sense to be doing all these
aesthetic procedures when I'm inthe tanning bed, damaging my

(01:49):
skin, that's the fastest causeof premature aging, and so it
just doesn't make sense.
I had stopped this past yeardoing a lot of facials and
neglecting my skincare a littlebit because I was doing the fake
tan and I didn't wanna fade mytan faster because for the
girlies that do the fake tan,it's literally so much

(02:09):
maintenance and I already haveso many appointments and so much
maintenance that I do, and I'm avery big believer in being high
maintenance in order to be lowmaintenance.
And if you don't know what thatmeans, it's like I would rather
do my skincare or do anaesthetic procedure instead of

(02:34):
spending hours doing my makeupevery day or whatever.
I don't have any makeup on rightnow, and I prefer to just be
able to wake up and go.
That's why I like to get myeyelash extensions done and take
care of my skin and I have mybrows tattooed and my lips
tattooed with permanent makeupso I can pretty much just wake
up and like I'm good to go.

(02:55):
Maybe some people think thoseare high maintenance things, but
that way I can just wake up andgo to the gym and run errands
and I look pretty good.
I just put lip gloss on orwhatever.
But I stopped doing that stufffor the past like eight months
or so since I was fake tanning.
And I realized that one, most ofthe time I did not look better.

(03:17):
I always feel like half the timeit wasn't the right color or it
wasn't the right undertone.
It looked weird or it came offlike all splotchy and I just was
like this is literally so muchmaintenance and half the time it
doesn't even look good, and I'mneglecting my skincare.
There's treatments I can't get.
I have to stop doing my laserhair removal.
I have to stop doing my scartreatments.
I have to stop doing all thesethings, and I'm just like, this

(03:39):
is counterproductive.
And also too, I feel like in thelast year or so, I've had more
flareups and digestive issuesthan I've had, and honestly it
makes sense'cause your skin isthe biggest organ that you have
and I'm rubbing chemicals on itevery single week.

(03:59):
That can't be good for me,especially being a health and
wellness girly.
It's not really on brand for me.
This has been a journey for sureabout self-acceptance and
everything, and also therealization that we're usually
the most attractive andbeautiful when we're embracing

(04:21):
our natural beauty.
The real glow up is when you'reembracing your natural beauty.
God doesn't make mistakes likeGod, the universe, whatever.
The coloring that you have, andof course I still dye my hair,
like whatever.
I was changing my skin color andit's just the coloring that you
have, your eyes and your hairand your skin, they all go
together and you're gonna lookthe best when you're embracing

(04:44):
what you're supposed to looklike.
I feel like this stems, ofcourse, from childhood, it's
crazy.
When I was little I had reallyfare porcelain white skin, and
my mom used to say it was like alittle China doll, So cute.
And I love that, my mom tellingme I'm beautiful from a young

(05:04):
age.
Like we love that, and then ofcourse, we go to school and
everyone is bullying me inelementary school because it was
so pale and so fair skinned,which is so silly now.
Kids are mean, kids are cruel.
And so as soon as I was oldenough to start tanning in the
tanning beds or using fake tanor whatever, I did.
I literally became a tananorexic or whatever the

(05:25):
expression is.
In high school, I would tanevery single day after school.
I wanted to be as dark aspossible.
I look back at photos and I'mjust like, I did not look
better.
I think I just thought in myhead that the darker I was, the
more attractive I would be whenreally I was just making myself
look worse.
Yeah, it's crazy.
I feel like we look back atphotos of our different phases

(05:47):
with our hair, like oureyebrows, our eyelashes, and
we're just like, wow, damn.
I look worse because I'm tryingto change myself.
The more I've leaned into anatural aesthetic, more natural
makeup, just like an overallvibe, I look better and I look
younger.
I remember when I was like 24.
I had a lot of lip filler.

(06:07):
I feel like we all did, and thiswas back like 2016, 2018, that
era where everything was justextreme and over exaggerated.
Also working in an industrywhere everything is just overly
exaggerated, overly feminized.
So I had the big lips, I had biglashes.
I like 22 inch, three row hairextensions.

(06:31):
Everything was just over thetop, and I look back at photos
and I'm just like, I did notlook better.
During this time, I was reallysick.
It was when I was the most sickwith my autoimmune disease.
My hair was falling out, my skinwas really bad.
I had really bad psoriasis anddermatitis.
I was putting on weight and Ijust didn't feel beautiful.

(06:51):
I think I did these things totry to mask how I felt or to try
to feel more beautiful andfeminine, which is
understandable of course.
But yeah, I ended making myselflook worse.
I remember when I went intoremission, I lost 12 pounds,
which definitely helped make mefeel better.
But also too, I took out thehair extensions, I dissolved my

(07:13):
lip fillers, I started gettingway more natural looking lashes,
and I had a whole glow up.
And yes, of course I gothealthier and I think real
beauty comes from the inside.
You glow from within, and Ithink that was expressed
outwardly, but also too, I cameback to myself.
I remember I was dating this guyand he was like looking at old

(07:37):
pictures on my Instagram.
He's like this doesn't even looklike you, how much work have you
had done?
I was like, I actually have lessstuff done now than I did in
those photos.
I look more like myself now thanI did in those photos.
And obviously that's like a veryrude thing to say and he sucks,
he's in the bin where hebelongs, but he had a point.
Most of the time you look betterwith less, and I'm not here to

(07:57):
say that people shouldn't getwork done or they shouldn't
enhance their natural beauty.
I'm all for enhancing thenatural beauty.
Like I'm a surgery girly, I'm anaesthetics girly, but usually
good work is undetectable and itjust enhances what you already
have.
It doesn't change you.
When you're trying to changeyourself, I think that's when
people run into problems.

(08:19):
When girls get work done thatdoesn't match their ethnicity or
their anatomy and then it justdoesn't match, and maybe it
looks good on Instagram or inphotos, but in real life, it
just looks a little bit off andcrazy.
And also too, the way that welook is the result of
generations of people that fellin love and decided to procreate

(08:41):
and we're the results of that.
That's such a beautiful story,and the heritage of that.
So we should have pride in theway that we look.
And also too, I don't wanna looklike everyone else.
I think standards of beauty havedefinitely changed, and they're
evolving and I feel like nowit's definitely going back to
more original, not everyonelooks the same and having unique

(09:04):
features is consideredbeautiful.
Especially with social media, Ithink it's really important to
follow people that look likeyou.
If you are a certain ethnicityor you have a certain aesthetic,
follow people that look likeyou, so that you can see the
beauty in what you have.
At one point I would follow abunch of tan blonde girls with

(09:28):
BBLs or whatever, and I was justlike, oh, I need to look like
this to be beautiful.
No, you can look like you andalso be beautiful.
There's anything wrong with thataesthetic, but follow people
that look like you and look upto people that look like you and
embrace what you have and it'llmake you feel better.
I started following a bunch ofSlavic looking paler skin tone

(09:52):
girls that look beautiful andI'm just like, wow this is
actually such a flex.
And also too, I was thinkingokay, if I stop the fake
tanning, then that means I haveto really dedicate to my
skincare again, and go back togetting my scars removed.
I have really, they're nothorrible, but they're definitely
an insecurity of mine, I havescars on my knees from when I

(10:13):
was a baby dancer and I wasdoing stage and I didn't know
how to dance on my kneesproperly.
And I busted both my knees openand they just kept reopening and
it's actually tragic to thinkabout, but I send so much love
to that old version of me.
But yeah, I still have thosescars on my knees and when I'm
more fair you can see them and Idon't like that.

(10:34):
That's why I also liked beingtan because it covered stuff up.
Everyone looks better with thetan because you look more toned
and more lean and if you haveblemishes or scars, they're not
as noticeable.
And so I was like, okay, let'ssay I embrace my skin tone, I
have to really commit, recommitto my skincare regime and work
on my scars again.
I have to be more committed inthe gym.

(10:55):
All these things are goodthings.
I feel like being beautiful andhaving fair skin is such a flex
because it's like you do have todouble down on your self-care
and honestly, those are reallyall positives.
Okay, I have to take better careof my skin.
I have to take better care of mybody.
I have to take better care of myhealth.

(11:15):
I feel like embracing my naturalskin tone is just gonna make me
more accountable.
At the end of the day, that's agood thing.
I'm gonna be more lean and tonedand I'll have better, beautiful,
glowing skin.
Also too, I'll be less inflamednot constantly putting chemicals
all over myself.
So I'm like, okay, this is a winand it's less maintenance.

(11:35):
I'm not gonna be ruining mysheets all the time and ruining
my clothes all the time.
And like I can't go out or Ihave to time my other
maintenance appointments, likemy wax appointment, my laser
appointment around my tanningschedule.
This is just too much.
Let's bring it back to health atthe end of the day.
What is the healthiest thing andalso what's the easiest thing?
Not fake tanning anymore.

(11:56):
A part of me is like, oh I mightlook washed it out in certain
colors or I won't be able towear certain colors.
Okay, then I probably shouldn'tbe wearing those colors anyways.
Color theory is so real, and ifyou haven't heard of color
theory, definitely look into it.
There's professionals that doit, but honestly you can do Chat
GPT, and basically it's ascience and it takes into

(12:19):
consideration your hair, skin,and eye color and what colors
look best on you and what colorsdon't, and you don't have to
have a tan or anything.
These are just the colors thatnaturally suit you and wearing
these colors are gonna give youan instant glow up.
You'll just look more glowy andbeautiful.
I could not wear neon, that'snot one of my colors, but I look

(12:39):
really good in cool, mutedneutral tones.
I feel like this is the chicgirl elevated glow up, it's very
like adult of me.
And also too, I think I wantedto be tan because I felt working
as a sex worker, I would makeless money or I would be less

(13:03):
confident at the club, or doingOF and making content if I was
pale, I just wouldn't look asgood.
And that's valid, that'sdefinitely valid, but again,
it's holding me accountable andI'm gonna have to take better
care of myself to look and feelgood.
And in the end, I'm gonna end uplooking better.
I can't hide behind this faketan, and also I'll be healthier.

(13:23):
Also too i've learned this frommultiple sources, like multiple
men.
I think most men will agree thatthey actually prefer a natural
girlie.
I've never met a guy, and Iunderstand not all women can
wear their natural hair, and Ipersonally am on a hair growth
journey and a hair healthjourney.

(13:44):
I do have pretty good hair, I doget dermatitis and flareups on
my scalp and I just wanthealthier hair.
I'm starting with the skin.
But I would love to be able towear my natural hair texture and
have it be smooth and healthyand not frizzy.
And so I am in the process ofthat, but i've never met a guy

(14:07):
that didn't prefer natural hairover extensions.
Even if your hair is short,yeah, we all love like the look
of the long luscious hair, butguys really do prefer natural
hair and real hair overextensions.
And also too, I think guysprefer Your natural texture.
So being able to embrace yournatural texture is definitely a

(14:28):
flex.
I'm working towards that forsure.
Of course I do love the smooth,blown out look, but every guy
I've ever dated, like even mostrecently I was with this guy and
he's like, I wanna see your hairwet, I wanna see your natural
hair.
They just love that.
I don't know why.
I don't know, maybe it's anevolutionary thing, like it's

(14:49):
our health, like men are usuallyattracted to features on a woman
that show we're healthy.
It's good'cause of reproductionand evolution and everything.
And so yeah, if you have yournatural, beautiful, textured
hair I don't know, and maybetheir attraction to you is your

(15:09):
natural form.
And maybe that's also anevolutionary thing because if
they're attracted to you and formating purposes, like they want
their kids to you know, I don'tknow, maybe that's just a
theory, but Yeah, guys actuallyprefer the natural aesthetic.
Never met a guy that doesn't.
And you can disagree with me ifyou want, whatever, of course
you do, you boo.
Trends come and go, but I thinkembracing your natural beauty is

(15:34):
always gonna one look the bestand two, it's never gonna go
outta style and it's alwaysgonna be on trend.
I also follow other creatorsthat are on their embrace their
natural skin tone journey, and Ifeel like now that I'm embracing
my natural skin tone, I wannaget my skin as healthy as
possible.
I loved exfoliating and I usedto use all these really
luxurious oils and body creamsand resurfacing and all this

(15:58):
stuff, and then when I did thefake tans, I couldn't do that
anymore.
So now I'm gonna get my skinback to its healthiest and it's
glowiest and its softest.
Whether it's for me or whetherit's'cause I wanna be attractive
to my partner, having beautiful,glowing, soft skin that's
definitely gonna be preferredover, under moisturized skin
that is like darker maybe, ornot even maybe the right shade.

(16:21):
It's just crazy how much beautystandards and insecurities shape
how we perceive ourselves.
That's why I feel like it's soimportant to follow people that
look like you and are embracedfor the way that they look.
Also healing your inner childand healing these wounds, I feel
like me accepting myself fullyand embracing who I am and what

(16:45):
I look like is so healing.
That little girl in elementaryschool who was bullied on the
school bus for being pale.
Why am I still at this old age,letting that dictate my life and
what I should look like?
That's so crazy.
That's so silly if you thinkabout it.
It's just not on brand for me tobe changing myself and damaging

(17:09):
my skin.
I feel like I'm all about beautyand wellness and health and it
doesn't make sense.
I've been having this feelingfor a while now and I was too
scared to do anything about it,but I'm taking this new month to
recommit, like fully commit tomyself and my health.

(17:29):
I had a flare up last month andI was down for the count for a
couple of weeks.
I really wanna prioritize myhealth and my wellbeing and I
feel like when you have a glowup that's physical, everything
else in your life also glows up.
I feel like I'll feel better,I'll perform better and
everything will just be morealigned.
I wanna be able to come on hereand give you guys beauty tips

(17:52):
and advice and all the thingsthat I'm doing or what I like
and this just makes the mostsense for me.
So I'm excited and I wouldencourage all the other fair
skinned girlies to embrace theirnatural skin tone too, and get
their skin as healthy aspossible.
And this way we look young andbeautiful forever.
I'm trying to age like MarthaStewart.

(18:15):
I feel like aging is optional atthis point.
Modern aesthetics is just soamazing.
It's like magic.
The real glow up isn't somethingthat you achieve.
It's really something that youuncover.
Being the healthiest version ofyourself is always gonna be the
most beautiful.
We should all be glowing uptogether this season, and I

(18:38):
would encourage everyone to doone thing to take a step closer
to being healthier, whetherthat's, walking every single day
or meditating every single day,or letting your hair dry
naturally, or skipping the faketan this week.
Let's do something to embraceour natural beauty or enhance it

(18:59):
and just see how you feel.
Just see how you feel.
Just try it.
Just test it out.
Anyways, i'm excited for thislittle journey.
I know it seems obnoxious thatI'm making a whole episode on
embracing my skin tone and beingpale and being cool with it, but
I feel like the little girliesthat get it, get it.
For me it's my skin tone for youit might be your hair or

(19:21):
something else.
So I think we should justembrace what makes us unique and
what makes us different andreally, that's what makes us
beautiful.
So anyways, I love you guys.
If you enjoyed this episodeplease share it, subscribe, and
I'll talk to you guys soon, bye.