July 6, 2025 • 11 mins
Welcome to Un Verano con Self Love, Manis.
This is a special 5-part storytelling series where I’ll take you through five love stories, some romantic, some platonic, some about me, some about parts of me. Each one reflects a different Wound of Calladita Culture® and what it means to reclaim your voice, your worth, and your heart.
These aren’t perfect stories. They’re real. They’re tender. They’re here to remind you that healing can be messy, funny, painful, and beautiful, all at once.
So grab your cafecito, get comfy, and let’s begin your summer of self-love.
If you want to know more and be part of Un Verano con Self Love program, you can join here.
Check out today's sponsor Savvy Ladies, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping women like YOU take control of your financial future. They offer free resources, webinars, and my favorite: a free financial helpline where you can connect one-on-one with trusted financial experts. Visit www.savvyladies.org today and connect with the financial helpline to get the personalized support you deserve. Your journey to financial independence starts here.
Check out BMO here
Do you want to support our show and get ad-free episodes? Join our Supporters Club here.
Follow Cafe con Pam on all things social:
Instagram
Facebook
Subscribe on YouTube
Listen to Cafe con Pam
Take our Calladita Culture®️ Quiz
Get your business on El Mercadito
Learn more about Pam
To support the show, an easy way to do it is to leave a review. Your feedback definitely helps other listeners connect and see if this is a podcast they could resonate with. To make it easy for you, here are some quick questions to think about when you’re leaving a review:
If you are new here, welcome! I hope you feel like you’re at home, and come back to drink a cup of coffee with us. Let’s stay connected:
Listeners, thank you so much for hanging out with me today, y como siempre STAY SHINING!
*The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the hosts and guests and do not necessarily reflect the views of BMO. BMO sponsors the podcast but does not influence or endorse the specific discussions or viewpoints shared herein. BMO Bank N.A. Member FDIC*
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cafe-con-pam--6348411/support.
This is a special 5-part storytelling series where I’ll take you through five love stories, some romantic, some platonic, some about me, some about parts of me. Each one reflects a different Wound of Calladita Culture® and what it means to reclaim your voice, your worth, and your heart.
These aren’t perfect stories. They’re real. They’re tender. They’re here to remind you that healing can be messy, funny, painful, and beautiful, all at once.
So grab your cafecito, get comfy, and let’s begin your summer of self-love.
If you want to know more and be part of Un Verano con Self Love program, you can join here.
Check out today's sponsor Savvy Ladies, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping women like YOU take control of your financial future. They offer free resources, webinars, and my favorite: a free financial helpline where you can connect one-on-one with trusted financial experts. Visit www.savvyladies.org today and connect with the financial helpline to get the personalized support you deserve. Your journey to financial independence starts here.
Check out BMO here
Do you want to support our show and get ad-free episodes? Join our Supporters Club here.
Follow Cafe con Pam on all things social:
Subscribe on YouTube
Listen to Cafe con Pam
Take our Calladita Culture®️ Quiz
Get your business on El Mercadito
Learn more about Pam
To support the show, an easy way to do it is to leave a review. Your feedback definitely helps other listeners connect and see if this is a podcast they could resonate with. To make it easy for you, here are some quick questions to think about when you’re leaving a review:
- What do you love about the show?
- What were you expecting before you listened?
- What happened after you listened?
- How would you describe the show to your best friend?
If you are new here, welcome! I hope you feel like you’re at home, and come back to drink a cup of coffee with us. Let’s stay connected:
- Social media. Follow @cafeconpampodcast on Instagram and Facebook.
- Learn more about our work and other stories at cafeconpam.com
Listeners, thank you so much for hanging out with me today, y como siempre STAY SHINING!
*The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the hosts and guests and do not necessarily reflect the views of BMO. BMO sponsors the podcast but does not influence or endorse the specific discussions or viewpoints shared herein. BMO Bank N.A. Member FDIC*
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/cafe-con-pam--6348411/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
So for me, Ola sopam and welcome to our Mergarito,
the place where we showcase the brands that believe in
us and help us make the show possible.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Let's meet them. We all know this.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Talking about money is not always the most comfortable. Better,
our friends from save Ladies make it easier and now
and Espanol, you don't have to feel the pressure to
translate for your mama or your tias. Because savid Ladies
has their whole site and nuestro yaora they can easily
(00:44):
access their free resources like Taietes Glasses, is La Lina,
Gratis Bara and bunts their free financial helpline and then
the pace connect that with a trusted financial expert. Whether
you need financial guy in English or Espanol, savid Ladies
is here to support you. Visit save ladies dot org.
(01:06):
That is s A V V Y l A d
I E S dot O r G. But I'm besat
your financial freedom. You know what's frustrating losing your wallet,
and you know sometimes what's even more painful realizing your
almost full punch card from your favorite govesito spot is
(01:29):
now gone. But at least even when your govecito points
have vanished. At Bimo, if you lose your debit card,
they'll print you a new one instantly at a local branch. Plus,
you can use your phone to freeze your debit card
to prevent any unauthorized transactions. Learn more at bimo dot com.
Conditions apply accounts provided in the United States by Beimo
(01:52):
Bank and a member FDIC. Welcome to CAVAC, the bilingual
podcaste Comte Nora Stories Scene Sensora. I'm your host, Bamgoruyees
And this is a special series called Beanocon's Self Love.
(02:13):
All summer long, we're exploring what it means to come
back to ourselves with softness, joy and radical garign from
healing Kayla culture wounds to romanticizing our daily lives. This
season is about choosing you every single time. I know
the world is falling apart and everything's on fire, and
(02:34):
more than ever, I do believe this is the time
to tend to ourselves and take care of ourselves.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Let's dive in.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Hello everyone, Welcome to Unanokon's Self Love. This is a
five part storytelling series where I take you through the
five love stories, some romantic, some platonics, some of our
me some of our parts of me, and each one
reflects a different wound of Kayetita culture, what it means
to proclaim your voice, you're worth, and your heart. These
(03:10):
are not perfect stories. They are real, They are tender,
and they're here to remind you that healing can be messy, funny,
painful and beautiful all at once. Go grab your cafesito,
get comfy, and let's begin your summer of self love.
Liaimosa de la stadiao marlos el imfinito, which is the
wound of commitment.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
One is summer.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I was walking into the art building, arms full, dragging
this giant easel that was half my size. Literally, I
was probably sweaty, probably annoyed, probably full of paint or
chalk or not chalk, granite pencil, absolutely not at all
in a romantic headspace. And there he was, walking into
(03:59):
the building, dressed like he had stepped out of a
Ralph louren ad. I mean at the time, you know
that clean, casual summer look. And we locked eyes just
like that, me walking out of the building, him walking
into the building, and neither of us broke the stair.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
It wasn't awkward, it was.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Familiar, like we had already met in another lifetime and
we were just remembering. He smirked, I smiled, and we
kept walking. A few days later, I get a DM
on Facebook, remember when Facebook was a college thing, and
(04:49):
it said, Hey, I saw you outside of Potterthall, which
was their our department, and I would love to meet you. Well,
it turns out he had graduated the year before and
was at the building only to see a recital from
his best friend.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Somehow he figured out who I was.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
I mean, after all, I was one of two brown
girls on that campus, so it wasn't hard to figure out.
So we met up at this local coffee shop that
also doubled as a wine bar, because of course we did.
You're in a small town, college town, so you make
whatever you want out of a business. And we stayed
until they closed, which was like nine ten o'clock, and
(05:30):
then we wandered out. We found that a local play
was happening right next door, and we walked into the
theater without tickets because he just knew how to take
up space.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
And he just was like, we can.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
We stayed until intermission, then we were like, okay, we're
done with this. We kept walking and talking all night,
like we had known each other or for years. It
was easy, It was cosmic. It was a kind of
connection that makes you feel like, maybe this is the
one the stories are written about. But then, of course
(06:12):
he left, he went back to DC, and yeah, we did.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
We keep talking.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
We kept talking, and not long after he decided that
city life was not for him anymore. He told me
he wanted space, he wanted stillness. He said he was
done with a suit and tie life from the big city.
So he took a job at a literal ranch in
(06:40):
the middle of nowhere, and the only way to reach
him was through a spotty self service. There was no
internet at the time. The only way he could get
internet was to go miles acres literally to the front
office of the ranch where he worked at. And he
lived in a little, tiny loft cabin in the middle
(07:02):
of nowhere. So we talked on the phone almost every night,
static filled short conversations where we strained so hard to
hear each other, and he would always get very frustrated.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
And one night it was raining.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
There, the signal was terrible and suddenly the line cut out.
I heard a crash, then nothing, then silence. For months, months,
five or six months later, probably like literal months. I
(07:44):
got an email and the email said something like, hey,
I was so upset I couldn't hear you that night,
so I threw my phone against the wall.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It broke. I never replaced it. I don't know if
you want to talk to me, but I wanted to
let you know I'm alive.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
And I was like what.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
By that time, I had moved on.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I was already in a different relationship, or at least
I tried to fast forward.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
A few years.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I'm walking into a local bar to meet up with
my then boyfriend. Who's the person I see el Infinito.
I hadn't seen him since that email, and all I
could think.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Was wait, what.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
He gave the best hugs, like you know, those real
sink into it, full body hugs. And what we could
both do when we saw each other was to hug
each other because it was like whoa, what are you
doing here?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Omg?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
And for a second it was like no time had passed.
But then I remembered, wait, I'm here for somebody else.
Somebody's waiting for me at this bar. So I was like,
hold on, it's great to see you, but I have a.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Person waiting for me.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
So goodbye again. Then many years later I get another message.
He had joined the Marine Corps and he was in
San Diego, where I lived, and this message said, hey,
I just graduated and I'll be able to leave base soon.
(09:31):
I would love to see you, And of course I said,
I mean that at this point why not?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Why not? I mean this time we lived in the
same city.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
So we started seeing each other again, and just like before,
it felt easy, it was magical, and maybe, just maybe,
I thought, maybe this is finally the right time. But
here's the thing about Ellen Finito. He was always chasing something,
(10:02):
a dream, a new life, maybe even another version of himself.
And no matter how many times the universe threw us
into the same room, you could never stay long enough
to truly choose me. And that's when I realized I
had to choose myself. So what I learned from Ellinfinito
(10:24):
is that the ones who orbit back might feel like destiny.
But self love is not about waiting to be chosen.
It's about choosing yourself again and again and again. Your
experiment for the week is to write a letter to yourself,
not the one you know now, but the version of
you that kept waiting for someone to finally show up.
(10:47):
Write to her like you're the one she's been waiting for,
and tell her I choose you.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
You are my priority. I am here and I will
stay and let your words be.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
The commitment, the commitment that will never be broken. See
that goes to us, the Pizodio.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Please share with someone you may love.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
If you are liking cheese, next episode is going to
be about line. If you are tuning in from the
free version of Capam, in two weeks, you're gonna get
the wand of worth.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Can I just put a stat a key you see
already in them
So for me, Ola sopam and welcome to our Mergarito,
the place where we showcase the brands that believe in
us and help us make the show possible.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Let's meet them. We all know this.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Talking about money is not always the most comfortable. Better,
our friends from save Ladies make it easier and now
and Espanol, you don't have to feel the pressure to
translate for your mama or your tias. Because savid Ladies
has their whole site and nuestro yaora they can easily
(00:44):
access their free resources like Taietes Glasses, is La Lina,
Gratis Bara and bunts their free financial helpline and then
the pace connect that with a trusted financial expert. Whether
you need financial guy in English or Espanol, savid Ladies
is here to support you. Visit save ladies dot org.
(01:06):
That is s A V V Y l A d
I E S dot O r G. But I'm besat
your financial freedom. You know what's frustrating losing your wallet,
and you know sometimes what's even more painful realizing your
almost full punch card from your favorite govesito spot is
(01:29):
now gone. But at least even when your govecito points
have vanished. At Bimo, if you lose your debit card,
they'll print you a new one instantly at a local branch. Plus,
you can use your phone to freeze your debit card
to prevent any unauthorized transactions. Learn more at bimo dot com.
Conditions apply accounts provided in the United States by Beimo
(01:52):
Bank and a member FDIC. Welcome to CAVAC, the bilingual
podcaste Comte Nora Stories Scene Sensora. I'm your host, Bamgoruyees
And this is a special series called Beanocon's Self Love.
(02:13):
All summer long, we're exploring what it means to come
back to ourselves with softness, joy and radical garign from
healing Kayla culture wounds to romanticizing our daily lives. This
season is about choosing you every single time. I know
the world is falling apart and everything's on fire, and
(02:34):
more than ever, I do believe this is the time
to tend to ourselves and take care of ourselves.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Let's dive in.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Hello everyone, Welcome to Unanokon's Self Love. This is a
five part storytelling series where I take you through the
five love stories, some romantic, some platonics, some of our
me some of our parts of me, and each one
reflects a different wound of Kayetita culture, what it means
to proclaim your voice, you're worth, and your heart. These
(03:10):
are not perfect stories. They are real, They are tender,
and they're here to remind you that healing can be messy, funny,
painful and beautiful all at once. Go grab your cafesito,
get comfy, and let's begin your summer of self love.
Liaimosa de la stadiao marlos el imfinito, which is the
wound of commitment.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
One is summer.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
I was walking into the art building, arms full, dragging
this giant easel that was half my size. Literally, I
was probably sweaty, probably annoyed, probably full of paint or
chalk or not chalk, granite pencil, absolutely not at all
in a romantic headspace. And there he was, walking into
(03:59):
the building, dressed like he had stepped out of a
Ralph louren ad. I mean at the time, you know
that clean, casual summer look. And we locked eyes just
like that, me walking out of the building, him walking
into the building, and neither of us broke the stair.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
It wasn't awkward, it was.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Familiar, like we had already met in another lifetime and
we were just remembering. He smirked, I smiled, and we
kept walking. A few days later, I get a DM
on Facebook, remember when Facebook was a college thing, and
(04:49):
it said, Hey, I saw you outside of Potterthall, which
was their our department, and I would love to meet you. Well,
it turns out he had graduated the year before and
was at the building only to see a recital from
his best friend.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Somehow he figured out who I was.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
I mean, after all, I was one of two brown
girls on that campus, so it wasn't hard to figure out.
So we met up at this local coffee shop that
also doubled as a wine bar, because of course we did.
You're in a small town, college town, so you make
whatever you want out of a business. And we stayed
until they closed, which was like nine ten o'clock, and
(05:30):
then we wandered out. We found that a local play
was happening right next door, and we walked into the
theater without tickets because he just knew how to take
up space.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
And he just was like, we can.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
We stayed until intermission, then we were like, okay, we're
done with this. We kept walking and talking all night,
like we had known each other or for years. It
was easy, It was cosmic. It was a kind of
connection that makes you feel like, maybe this is the
one the stories are written about. But then, of course
(06:12):
he left, he went back to DC, and yeah, we did.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
We keep talking.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
We kept talking, and not long after he decided that
city life was not for him anymore. He told me
he wanted space, he wanted stillness. He said he was
done with a suit and tie life from the big city.
So he took a job at a literal ranch in
(06:40):
the middle of nowhere, and the only way to reach
him was through a spotty self service. There was no
internet at the time. The only way he could get
internet was to go miles acres literally to the front
office of the ranch where he worked at. And he
lived in a little, tiny loft cabin in the middle
(07:02):
of nowhere. So we talked on the phone almost every night,
static filled short conversations where we strained so hard to
hear each other, and he would always get very frustrated.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
And one night it was raining.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
There, the signal was terrible and suddenly the line cut out.
I heard a crash, then nothing, then silence. For months, months,
five or six months later, probably like literal months. I
(07:44):
got an email and the email said something like, hey,
I was so upset I couldn't hear you that night,
so I threw my phone against the wall.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It broke. I never replaced it. I don't know if
you want to talk to me, but I wanted to
let you know I'm alive.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
And I was like what.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
By that time, I had moved on.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
I was already in a different relationship, or at least
I tried to fast forward.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
A few years.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I'm walking into a local bar to meet up with
my then boyfriend. Who's the person I see el Infinito.
I hadn't seen him since that email, and all I
could think.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Was wait, what.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
He gave the best hugs, like you know, those real
sink into it, full body hugs. And what we could
both do when we saw each other was to hug
each other because it was like whoa, what are you
doing here?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Omg?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
And for a second it was like no time had passed.
But then I remembered, wait, I'm here for somebody else.
Somebody's waiting for me at this bar. So I was like,
hold on, it's great to see you, but I have a.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Person waiting for me.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
So goodbye again. Then many years later I get another message.
He had joined the Marine Corps and he was in
San Diego, where I lived, and this message said, hey,
I just graduated and I'll be able to leave base soon.
(09:31):
I would love to see you, And of course I said,
I mean that at this point why not?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Why not? I mean this time we lived in the
same city.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
So we started seeing each other again, and just like before,
it felt easy, it was magical, and maybe, just maybe,
I thought, maybe this is finally the right time. But
here's the thing about Ellen Finito. He was always chasing something,
(10:02):
a dream, a new life, maybe even another version of himself.
And no matter how many times the universe threw us
into the same room, you could never stay long enough
to truly choose me. And that's when I realized I
had to choose myself. So what I learned from Ellinfinito
(10:24):
is that the ones who orbit back might feel like destiny.
But self love is not about waiting to be chosen.
It's about choosing yourself again and again and again. Your
experiment for the week is to write a letter to yourself,
not the one you know now, but the version of
you that kept waiting for someone to finally show up.
(10:47):
Write to her like you're the one she's been waiting for,
and tell her I choose you.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
You are my priority. I am here and I will
stay and let your words be.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
The commitment, the commitment that will never be broken. See
that goes to us, the Pizodio.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Please share with someone you may love.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
If you are liking cheese, next episode is going to
be about line. If you are tuning in from the
free version of Capam, in two weeks, you're gonna get
the wand of worth.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Can I just put a stat a key you see
already in them
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