The Light Within: Building Community in Uncertain Times with Eduardo Placer

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
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and a member FDIC. Welcome to Kvambam, the bilingual podcast

(02:28):
that shares our stories. Seene sins Jos Laro is the
founder of Fearless Communicators and he's a story doula. As
a global facilitator, Eduardo has led workshops and spoken with
groups at HBO, Google, Bank of America, Merrill Lynch, Yale,

(02:52):
the Juilliard School, and the Wharton School of Business. His
private clients include industry leaders, CEOs of startup companies, un diplomats,
and social activists. Prior to focusing all his energy on
Fearless Communicators. He was a professional actor for fifteen years,

(03:13):
working all over the US in over thirty eight plays
and musicals. When he's not story dueling, which we'll talk
about in the episode, or spontaneously breaking out into song
and dance, he's probably bringing together diverse communities in as
celebration of what is possible and positive I went on.

(03:35):
When he's not doing all the amazing things and changing lives.
He's also an avid crossfitter, and like most avid crossfitters,
he will talk about CrossFit any time he's asked. We
don't talk about CrossFit during the episode because I didn't
ask so scene mass here's my conversation with the ed

(03:59):
word of the world.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
Think of going m thank you, pamor to be here
with you.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
So the first question we always ask is what is
your heritage?

Speaker 2 (04:11):
I am Cuban American and it's actually very interesting. I
can I know the villages where my family is from,
not just in Cuba, but also in Spain. The village
that my ancestral lineage from is on my mother's side
of the family. We still have family living in the

(04:34):
village and in the home that my great grandmother was
born in my great grandfather was born, my great great
grandfather was born in Wow and this is all on
my mother's side of the line. And then there's another
town called Agua, which is in the north of Spain.
And I've also been to the cemetery, I've been to
the church. I've seen the baptism records, you know, back

(04:55):
to seventeen twelve or something like that. So it's a
the privilege of being able to land for centuries in
a specific place I find to be very, very powerful
and a privilege because, for an array of other reasons

(05:16):
hashtag colonialism, people were robbed of that insight.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
So many people don't know where their lineage was started. Again,
did you go into a deep rabbit hole of finding
that out?

Speaker 2 (05:32):
So I've always been interested as a storyteller. I've always
been interested in genealogy. I've always been interested in history.
I've always been interested in geography. So my family fled.
The easiest way to sum it up is they fled
Spain because of Franco and then Cuba because of Castro.
And my grandfather who the reason why he fled Spain.

(05:55):
He was one of six siblings. The eldest was executed
during the Spanish Civil War. He was eighteen. The family
thought that he would be safe in this village that
the family is still connected to, and there was a
knock on the door. They're like, you need to go
to the city hall, and him and a neighbor and
somebody else were executed on the spot. Oh my and

(06:16):
my great grandmother and her sister wore black in mourning
for the rest of their lives. Yeah, which is interesting
because it's like the bond of two sisters. You know
that now five generations down were still connected to that family,
which is very very special. So that then led the

(06:36):
family to flee from Spain to the south of France
and then from the south of France to Cuba. And
then twenty years later Castro comes into power and the
family has to flee again. The families, but there's one
sister that goes to Spain. The other four siblings come
to the United States. So then my grandfather, who is
in Delaware, when he flees Cuba. So there was there

(06:58):
was like the initial wave that went Miami, but then
that became too much, so then different communities would like
pick up and take up the Cuban So then there
was this Cuban community in Wilmington, Delaware, and then he
and my grandmother would come down and my one year,
my grandfather brought a globe and I had this ritual
with my grandfather where after dinner I would sit with

(07:20):
him and I would write down all the countries and
capitals of the world. So from a very early age
I didn't do spelling these I still can't spell for shit.
But I always had an awareness of the world and
my place in it. And I think that that and
not only that, I can also locate other people on
a map. So when someone says I'm from Somalia, or

(07:43):
I'm from Mongolia, or I'm from Bangladesh, or I'm from
Zayir or I'm from Madagascar or I'm from you know, now,
the thing is this was all before this was in
the nineteen eightyes, so this is before this is when
the Soviet Union still existed. I mean there are nations
and countries that have urged of all shifted changed, but
still like there is this beautiful way to locate people.

(08:07):
And then part of that is also the listening to
the history, because your history is not the history that's
being taught in the in your class in your school,
so you have to find another way of learning about
who you are, and just very privileged that that was

(08:28):
something that was instilled in my family. And I think
also the privilege of a dominant Latin culture with all
its complexities in Miami, Florida, where people are bilingual, bicultural,
you know, center their history, center their language. It's very present.
It's not like let's erase it, you know, it is

(08:49):
very centered. So anyway, so many.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Questions fur there, so so deep. It is a privilege,
I think. I think geography is really powerful and I
don't know if they teach it. I grew up in
my city and geography was a very like we learned
geography all throughout elementary school, and I don't know if
they teach it as much here.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
So there's a there's a real tension point with my partner,
which I kind of love. He is Colombian. And I
think how you look at the map says a lot
about the narratives that you have been fed, yes, and

(09:37):
the stories that you believe about yourself and where you're from.
M So, for example, when I asked my partner, well,
growing up in the United States as a student of geography,
who competed in geography bees through the National Geographic Society
and qualified twice as top one hundred in the state

(09:58):
of Florida. You know in geograph competitions, right, we are
taught in the United States that there are seven continents.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yeah, oh my gosh, that is yes, right, I know
where you go with this. I had this fight too.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yeah, are North America and North America is Canada, the
United States, and Mexico. South America begins in Colombia. So
Central America is not really registered like as like when
you're studying the continent, it's considered Central America, but it's
not considered part of North America or South America. The

(10:33):
Caribbean is completely and totally whatever. It's floating islands in space.
But that is what that is. So there's North America,
South America, there's Europe, there's Asia, there's Africa, there is Australia,
and then there's Antarctica. Right, So those are the seven.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
Continents we learned five five, yes, five.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
So there's the Americas, which is one whole continent, yes,
from the tippy top of Canada all the way down
to Argentina. Then there's Eurasia, which is Europe and Asia
is one giant landmans there's Africa, there's Australia, and then
there's Antarctica. Yes, And what's interesting, I mean we're now
in a moment where it's like the Gulf of Mexico

(11:16):
versus the Gulf of America, when we're just like when
people don't understand necessarily why people in the United States
or Latinos in the United States have that level of
complexity as both of us have our shared Latin ey
that that what is missing is an understanding of how
you look at the map and how you look at

(11:38):
history is also framed from a very specific colonial narrative
that you have been fed, Yes, and that in the
United States what we have is a British colonial narrative,
and the British one. What you have in the rest
of Latin America as a Spanish or Portuguese or Dutch
or French colonial narrative, and they lost to the British.

(11:58):
So that there's also this bizarre power dynamic. And yet
at the origin of this entire hemispherical extravaganza is the
genocide of indigenous people and the enslavement of Africans. So
you can't deny that it was the same shit. It
just happened in different languages. It was happening in English,

(12:20):
which is the history that we have in the United States,
but it was also happening in Spanish, it was happening
in French, it was happening in Dutch, it was happening
in Portuguese. And it's the same thing. So how politics
and power align is from that same core wound. Anyway,

(12:40):
thank you for listening to my tech talk.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
No, I think it's really important to name it because
that tension that you mentioned. I've had those conversations with
my partner who's white American, and you know when like,
my beef is this is not America. America is the continent,
because that's how I learned it lived experiences. America starts
in Canada and ends in Aghantina. No, Yeah, and he's like, no,

(13:08):
North America, Central South, and I'm like, it's all America,
you know. So it all to your point. We all
have a different lens from which we see the world
based in the history that we were fed, and I
don't know if we're going to arrive at a point
of righteousness.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
You know.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
It's like that's the way that I learned it. That's
the way that you did. And at the end of
the day, everyone was colonized, correct.

Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, And that is that is taiale as old as
time experience of human beings, right, this is what human
beings colonize. That is what we do. You know. You
can if you look at the history of Spain, like
as a country, or like the Iberian Peninsula, like there

(13:56):
was nobody and then there were people, right, So there
were the Iberia, you know, and then the Celts, you know,
and then the Greeks come, and then the Romans come,
and then the Phoenicians come, and then the Visigoths come,
and then the Moors come, and then and then all
of it is their people. And then someone else shows
up and says, this is mine, you know, And I

(14:20):
think that there's something about you know. I often think
about this when I fly and I look down. I
love the exercise of looking down at the world from
the guy. Oh yeah, And it's interesting to look at shapes.
And it's interesting to look at the shapes that are

(14:41):
created by human beings, which are circles and squares and
rectangles and straight lines. And then there's like the boundaries
that are created by nature, which are just completely and
totally wild or fractal in their geometry. And that what
the circle and the square and the rectangle and the
triang goal are all attempts out of chaos for human

(15:04):
beings to say this is mine.

Speaker 1 (15:07):
To create structure.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
And if this is mine, it can't be yours, right,
So then there's this like the need for the definition
of mine over yours, and what if it's just all ours?

Speaker 1 (15:26):
Right, it's a collective structure, like we all belong we all.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
Belong here, We're all here, We're on this fucking planet.
We are spinning on a rock, you know, until we die.
You know, what's it all about?

Speaker 1 (15:37):
If we don't destroy the rock.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
Before, if the rock I mean, and look at where
we are right now, right so there's a lot of
there's a lot of destruction. And I think that that
is also cycle of human beings. I think if you're
a student of history, this is a cycle that is
repeating itself. Yeah, you know, there is creation and then

(15:59):
there's destruction. There's creation, there's destruction, there's creation, there's destruction,
depending on the clock that you're looking at.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
So totally and I'm curious because we are having this
conversation June twenty twenty five. As you mentioned your family
fled Franco and then Gastrono. So as we are witnessing
what's happening, I'm in California, so I'm sure you've heard all.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
The things front lines.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
Yes, And so like me being in California, we're literally
like what can we do? Like there's children that are
don't have parents anymore, there are families that are being
like OMG. And literally what we come down is we
can't fix the world, but we can do one thing

(16:53):
at a time. Yeah, and we can share and we
can help, and the responsibility is all on our shoulders.
And also we can't stay silenced because like I was
in freeze mode for a minute, because I have my
own story of family separation. Yeah, this was very like
just witnessing was very traumat Like it really traumatized my

(17:16):
body because you get to witness the things that you
felt years back. And had to get myself to a
place of that privilege to say, you know what, I
have a huge thing that on my birth certificates says
the United States of America. And that's huge and because
of that, it's almost that is one thing that I

(17:39):
could say, maybe it's my responsibility to not stay silenced
and to keep things moving the way that I can
do it while helping because multiple truths can exist, correct.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah, And I think that it is that being with
the complexity of that and finding your your piece in
that chaos. Yes, I think is a tool for resiliency.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
Totally.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Because this is a marathon. It's not a sprint. This
is a long play. What's happening now has been cooking
for a long time. This is not new. Yes, we
have seen this before historically. If you're a student of history,
it's like we understand where we are in that narrative arc.
You know. The question is how long does this chapter

(18:30):
last before we start a new one? And I think
this is going to be a pretty messy one. And
I think accepting that messy, dark, despair filled. And I
also feel like on the other side of that, I
have to believe that there is light totally, and that
is what I'm holding onto. And it's interesting going back

(18:51):
to what you said, Pam. So, for those people who
don't know, I run a public speaking coaching business, you know,
and this year is our ten year anniversary, and tonight
we are hosting a party at a speakeasy.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
Oh how fun, congrets.

Speaker 2 (19:07):
Thank you, and the speakeasy is on purpose. So historically
I have used the metaphor about our work with individuals
and thought leaders, et cetera. And I also use this
for myself, which is to be a lighthouse that, you know,
find that plot of land on that promontory that's solid
and secure, and build that lighthouse and then beam that light,

(19:30):
that message, that truth out into you know, the oceans,
into the sea you know, and trust that that it
will attract people into the port that need or are
hungry for or yearn for your message. Right, And there
was I found a lot of comfort and peace and

(19:54):
spaciousness in that metaphor. And I can also accept that
being on that promontory and standing out in this moment
and sharing that truth comes with immense privilege and that
not everybody has that yes, right, And the question that
I'm sitting with is like, how are we tending to

(20:16):
our light? And for some people it can remain being
a lighthouse, Like in this moment, I am taking that
light and I'm going to stand on that promontory and
I'm going to beam that light. Damn the torpedoes full
speed ahead. Oftentimes, the people that are doing that are
the people that are either one resource to be able
to do so. So they have the power of the privilege,

(20:37):
the wealth, and they don't give a shit. They're like,
you can hate me, you can take you know, I'm
not in danger of losing money. I'm not in danger
of like I am wealthy, I have all of I'm
going to say whatever the fuck I want to say. Right,
they're those people, then, they're the people that have no choice.
You know, trans person of color, you know, black women

(20:59):
can't hide who I am, so I can't all of
a sudden disappear from whatever this body is. You know,
an indigenous looking Latino woman, you know where people are
looking by and they're like, let me see your passport
because you know, look American right to me, when in reality,
your ancestry is more tied to this land and this
space than that ice agent. Probably, Yeah, they're the people

(21:23):
who have no choice but to stay in that piece
and and that. However it is that you are tending
to your light in this moment, I think it is okay,
and I don't think this is a moment to also say,
you know, you need to or why aren't you or
you know, I think everybody is navigating the moment. However,

(21:44):
they're navigating the moment, and I think what's important to
me or how I'm expanding the metaphor is I just
got to know if that light is my light, right
and whether it is a campfire or a flash light,
or a disco ball, or a candle in your window

(22:05):
or a lighthouse, I'm looking for the light. And the
reason why the speakeasy piece was so important is because historically, women,
people of color, LGBTQ, folk, marginalized communities have always had
to speak and code yes.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
You know.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
And you know for women, there used to be the fans,
like where they would position a fan would communicate I'm interested,
I'm available, I'm not meet me up back, I'm taken
right now, coming in two weeks, you know, like whatever.
That the gestural vocabulary where people are communicating in plain sight.
In queer culture, specifically with gay men, we had the

(22:41):
hanky culture where there are different color hankies and that's
communicating what you're into depending on what pocket it's on,
I'm going to take it or I'm going to give it,
you know, and it is so specific, and you would
wear it out and you're in public at the grocery
store or on the subway, and you're like looking and

(23:02):
you're like, let's go right, And I like, before there's grinder,
before there's scruff, before there's any of that stuff, there
was that. And I have a client of mine who
said that, you know, enslaved people in certain regions would
talk about eggs and that's how they were talking about
white people. So they were talking about, you know, the
eggs broken over there, So I wouldn't. I would avoid.

(23:24):
You know, the eggs are feeling a little rotten, you know,
so I would avoid. And if you knew what the
conversation was, then you then you're attuned to it. But
others like, oh, these people talking about eggs. Why are
we talking about eggs?

Speaker 1 (23:38):
Right right?

Speaker 2 (23:39):
So so again the communication is always being shared. The
question is are you attuned to the frequency of it? Yes,
I think that we're We're in that moment. So that's
that's why we are activating our community within the speakeasy
kind of context and allowing people to reckon and reconcile

(24:00):
with what courage or fearlessness looks like in this moment. Yes,
And I think we can extend grace to oneself and
others as we are making sense of it, because I
don't think we're supposed to be going on Instagram Live
twenty four to seven, correct, And we as human beings
are not supposed to be experts on every topic that

(24:23):
exists on the granet that needs nuance and you know,
a certain level of care, and not every opinion, not
every human beings opinion is supposed to be on primetime
except them. And I think that that's where we get
a little chaos, or that not we get a lot

(24:43):
of chaos, because it's just this assault of conversation opinions
that don't matter. I'm like, I don't care. I don't care,
like I don't care that this is I don't know.
I don't even know who you are. You know, know
who you are or why you are saying things, saying

(25:06):
things about something that you have no business. I mean,
you're entitled to your opinion, absolutely, you're a human being,
but like does Facebook Live or Instagram Live or TikTok
need it? Who cares? Who cares?

Speaker 1 (25:19):
Yeah? I think it's the to your point of Now
we have technology. My mom, she said this before with
other issues that have happened in the world, and she
was like, you know, this has always happened in the world.

(25:39):
We just now have cell phones that can get most
immediate knowledge of it. But people have been killed many times.
People like all of this, it's not new. We just
have the tech that lets us see it live. And yeah,
I agree. In the pursuit of like, am I going

(26:02):
to be the first one to say something about it?
There is a lot of noise as well, and I
do think we need to ground ourselves in our truth.
And I love your metaphor of the light because as
you were describing it, one person can totally be the light.
I have a client actually who was like we had
a conversation and she was like, I don't know what

(26:23):
to do, but I have money, and I'm like, listen,
white women during the Civil rights movement, they were bailing
out protesters. So that is.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
That is action. That is action, yea, right. And I
think the other thing is that there are there are
different fronts to the battle, and some people are the
front line soldier who we need, Yes, right, we need
the person in the back that's going to build the
bridge afterwards. Yeah, right, Once the bridge is destroyed, and

(26:55):
think is we need the people that are going to
come back and they're going to build the thing. Yes,
they're the people that are going to carry the flag
and the banner. You know, there's going to be like
the military band, the people playing.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
Their music, you know, reminding us of joy and.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
Reminding us of joy or whatever. There's the strategist that's
that's looking at the overhead view. There's the person with
the muscle at the front, you know, who is again
storming the line. All of those people are on the
same team and and people are resourced in different ways

(27:29):
to be those people. So I think part of the
thing is also understanding how am I resourced to show
up to play this game? Yes, right, and I can't
play all the positions, Like I am not equipped to
be all the positions. And I think that's sometimes where
it's like if the person is like, what what what
I am going to do? Like, no, I'm not going

(27:53):
to go on TikTok and I'm not going to go
on Instagram Live.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, it's not the role.

Speaker 2 (27:57):
Right because I actually need a little bit of cover
of anonymity to actually leverage my power in my privilege
to be in the rooms to have the conversation to
mirror and reflect that if I were that standard bearer screamer,
then I'm not going to be in that room. I'm
not going to be in that room, yes, but know

(28:18):
that I am in that room, the room where it
happens going back to Hamilton, and I have the privilege
of being in that room. So now in that room,
I'm going to exercise the privilege to have maybe the
personal or private conversation that I can have which is
not going to happen on the town square on Instagram
or TikTok or x or whatever the platform is. Right,

(28:40):
So I think that that's where there's grace, which is
like not everyone's showing up to the fight with the
same tools, with the same privilege, with the same resources,
with the same skill set, and that we have to
be if I know that you're on the team, now
I also know how we get to play together totally.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
I have a friend actually who lives on a different
part of the world and I saw them recently in
San Diego and they reached out and they were like,
I'm here, and we took a picture together and they
were like, but this can't be posted because I'm not
supposed to be here. I'm headed to a la and
nobody is supposed to know that I'm here, but know

(29:26):
that things are happening, and so that's I'm like, let's go,
you know, Yeah, going back to your metaphor of the lighthouse,
there's the flashlights, and there's the people that are just
like shining the light on whoever needs to be in
the front line.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
Right I'm giving light to somebody else. I'm operating the light,
and I'm showcased. I'm putting it somewhere else right again,
light keeper, lightbearer, light keeper, lightholder, light carrier, like all
of that is necessary. And I think, you know, I
don't watch the news like I actually I don't really

(30:02):
watch a lot of My boyfriend and I, you know,
watch Netflix and we binge watch you know, little stories
or whatever. But I say to him, you know, and
I speak to our relationship is primarily in Spanish, which
is really beautiful, which is really beautiful. And when I'm
joking with him, I speak Spanish with a Gringo accent,

(30:26):
so I don't. I mean, I'm Cuban and I'm a
native Spanish speaker. I don't speak Spanish with a gringo accent,
but with him for play, I do. And then I'll say,
you know, Kia kosas fheus, you know Kiro Grosyria. You
know Kira Takas, your Kiro amore, your Caro, lose your
cairo past Karasporanza.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
You know.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
So it was like, I don't want ugly things. I
don't want you know. So ah, and I'll say, why
are you screaming? I mean he's not screaming, but like
if you'll say, like, why don't you clean the dishes
or whatever? You know, I'm like, you know, I don't
want ugly things. I only want love and peace. I
only want light, you know. And there's something interesting about creating.

(31:08):
I feel like my home is a sanctuary, which is
important in the chaos of New York City. I live
in Harlem, you know, so it can be chaotic out here,
and the there's a lot of peace and stillness in
my relationship, which I find to be really grounding. It's

(31:29):
important and necessary and and let there be like in
the midst of a world that's filled with conflict. In
my home. What I crave is peace, Yes, I crave peace.
I create. I crave stillness. I crave a deep intimacy

(31:50):
and connection and play and silliness and and it feels
like a battery you know, because the moment that you
go outside or you know, are present to all this
other stuff, you know, it's the batteries drained.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
Yeah, that's a way to resource to have in your home.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
Peace in my home.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
Yeah, let's take a quick coffee break.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yes, So.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
Do you drink coffee?

Speaker 2 (32:31):
I do? I say, it's my one addiction.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
You know. Nice, how do you drink your coffee?

Speaker 2 (32:38):
I like American coffee? So I like American coffee. I
was raised on caffe on lit. It's how I was raised,
with espresso and a lot of milk. Noo, not because
will Cubans begin the day with caf on lit. The
cortrito is or the espresso shot is what we do
later on in the day and you share with people

(33:00):
and there's the gold and then there's all of that.
So so my ritual always began with cafeg legen from
a very early age. And we would do a sube ibaoyo,
which is where you dip the bread in the in
the cafe liter and there's Cuban bread, which is amazing yes,
and it's my It's called ibaoyo, which I think is

(33:21):
like a fun kind of the suerba, you know, the dip. Yeah,
And and it's Cuban bread with butter and it's just
like so yummy, you know. And the special ingredient in
Cuban bread is lard, so it is just like fluffy
and yum yum, yum, yum yum malicious. Then I think

(33:43):
I like the multiple cups of coffee, and it's not
multiple cups of milk with a little bit of coffee.
So that is why the American coffee model is actually
what I prefer. And then I can only do coffee
in the morning. I can't really drink coffee in the

(34:05):
afternoon and beyond, like my body completely repels it.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Really.

Speaker 2 (34:10):
Yeah, yeah, so I can only do coffee in the morning.
That's part of my ritual. I tend to do two cups,
you know, in an orange cup, okay, and always an
orange cup because of my business. The color I'm wearing orange.
My fleming gets just an orange. The color of my
business is orange. Everything is orange. So I have a
lot of orange, a lot of orange, and that yeah,

(34:33):
that's my coffee. My coffee ritual. I'll do like a
cappuccino or a flat white. If I'm traveling, I can't
do I can't do black coffee, like black American coffee.
I can do an espresso shot because it's so quick
and it has the sugar the sweetness. Yeah, but I
can't do it can be too bitter and it like

(34:54):
really destroys my stomach.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Do you have a coffee shop you want to shout
out in New York?

Speaker 2 (35:03):
I do, yeah, I know, I love I love a coffee.
There's well, I'm going to shout out too. Maybe there'll
be a third because I like three. But there's a
really great coffee shop here in New York City called
seven eight seven Coffee, Okay and seven eight seven. It
says zip code for Puerto Rico, and it's Puerto Rican coffee.
And it's literally farmed on the island. It's queer owned,

(35:25):
it is neighborhood based. I love their point of view.
It's unapologetically Puerto Rican. It's unapologetic, like they have like
a covido latte. Yes, it's that you can get in
panalas you can get barttridos, you know. So I love
that as a as a coffee shop, like an American

(35:47):
version of a coffee shop. There was another coffee shop.
I would say that I'm not going to save its
size because I hate their fucking politics in Miami. But
there is which is also tricky whenever you're going down
the Miami political kind of route. But there is a
place in Miami and it's called Sassoon.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
I've been to Sassoon.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
It's really really good. It's in Miami Beach. And what
they have is lavedanita, So a little window is where
you order the coffee. Because it's interesting like coffee coffee culture,
like or or coffee shop culture. It's not something that
is I would say Cuban you know, I don't want

(36:32):
to it is it is. It is something that has evolved.
I think there's certain cultures that do have like a
coffee shop culture. Cubans have what's labana, which is coffee
is like twenty four to seven. It's like you're you're
you're drinking it in the morning, you're drinking it in
the afternoon, you're drinking it after dinner. You're like the

(36:53):
coffee the ritual of coffee is always with you, you know.
And my parents like, well, crave. My father will have
the espresso. My mother will always have the couteo, like
after dinner. It's like part of the it's like the
ceiling of the meal is so it's the end. The
end will be the shot of you know, in the

(37:14):
ways that there's limoncello or there's like some alcoholics, something
that happens in Italy or in different cultures. So anyway,
solanita I think is a very special experience which is
like the drive by piece. I'm going to have my
little shot of coffee and then I'm going to go
for the rest of my day. And the way the
Cuban women are, you know, making the coffee with espumita

(37:37):
it needs foam, you know, and how you make the
epumita is it is how you mix the sugar and
then you pour the coffee in that gives it the foam.
If it doesn't have the foam, it's not the same thing.
It's a very specific it's an art. The epumita is
an art for the Cuban coffee thing.

Speaker 1 (37:55):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
And then there was a different coffee shop. There's a
coffee shop in in Melbourne, Australia.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
Ooh, Australians are deep with their coffee.

Speaker 2 (38:05):
Deep with their coffee, deep with their coffee, you know,
and they're like very quick to call it shit.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
You know. Oh yeah, I have a coffee bean.

Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah, I love it. And this was a queer woman
owned bar coffee shop, and you would bring your own mug.
And then they had a policy. They had a policy
which was because they don't really have tip culture, but

(38:35):
you could tip twenty percent. Oh oh, I think if
you were a man you were charged twenty percent more
than a woman.

Speaker 1 (38:44):
I love that actually, right.

Speaker 2 (38:46):
So there it was acknowledging and that you could, as
a man, choose the twenty percent addition additional charge and
then that would be donated to some woman's rights cause
or organization or a shelter or something like that. But
acknowledging the privilege and saying that there is there is

(39:09):
a financial gap, there's an equity gap between women and men,
you know. And well what they said was interesting is
men always had issues with it, and women would add
the twenty percent to donate it to the women's causes,
which I think maybe and then the business they went
out of business, you know, but I think there was

(39:30):
something really interesting and if we think about a twenty
percent tip. You know, I was like, absolutely charge me
the twenty percent and absolutely give it to whoever you know,
is it's like sixty cents more for the coffee or
a dollar twenty or whatever. Absolutely yes, donate that, you know.
So anyway, those are three three interesting little coffee shop stories.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
Awesome. I love it. On my end, I am so
I drink a how in the morning and I have
this very like elaborate morning It's not elaborate. Some people
might see it as elaborate morning ritual because I started
developing this deep relationship with cacao because I'm Mexican, of course,

(40:20):
it's like very deeply rooted in the land of what
we call now Mexico. And I actually I have cacao
that I eat like these are cacao beans, and I
eat them like snacks. And cacao used to be currency actually,
and there are journals of nose cristal cologne is. But

(40:44):
there's journals that talk about how when they were chasing
the indigenous people and stealing their boats, they were picking
up these almond looking seeds like there were precious gold
because it was cocao seeds that were the cow bean
that was actually use this currency. So I'm drinking. Just

(41:10):
did not give you the whole spiel of my morning ritual.
But I'm drinking this morning. I brew my cocao with herbs,
so this morning I put funnel. It looks a little
bit red, it doesn't as much anymore, but I it
has beetroot powder, roast bud petals, raspberry leaf. It has

(41:41):
also stinging nettle and butterfly pee.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
Also, I love it. I love it. Oh my god. Yeah,
Dore Harry, Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
But it's like it's such a great While I'm making it,
I'm putting an attention. I think it's really important, of course,
and then I drink. So I'm drinking. I add coffee
throughout the day to Mike cow and this coffee is
from Vera Cruz. My mom just came back from Mexico City.
She has a friend who's from Veracruz. Her sister brought
coffee from Beveracruz. I think it's like they grow out

(42:22):
in their famili's land. I don't know. So yeah, it's
like I have a whole thing about my morning beverages.
Let's get back to the show. So little the tell
me more about this, How did you become a story doula?

Speaker 2 (42:46):
A story doula. So the journey to story doula began
so as I ran a public speaking coaching business, and
then I was also a stage actor for fifteen years.
And there's a little bit of crossovers. So so what
happened is I think I have always been a student

(43:09):
of story, whether it's the oral kind, you know, listening
to the stories of my grandfather, my grandmother, or my family,
you know. So there's that a student of story as
someone who has read and consumed literature and theater and
studied English literature, American literature, Latin American literature culture, and

(43:33):
then as a stage actor, who you are as an
embodied communicator, So you're an agent in the story. You're
not passively, I mean you are actively reading something, but
you are in a play like the agent of the story.
You are protagonist or antagonist, or chorus or or narrating
or whatever you are. You are in the mix of

(43:54):
the story. You're an agent in the story, in the storytelling.
So when I found myself in this public speaking landscape,
because I have been in story through multiple modalities and
because of a deep curiosity. I know a little bit

(44:18):
about a lot of things. Right, So this is the polymath,
multi hyphenate, multidisciplinarian kind of model.

Speaker 1 (44:26):
Yes, it's lot of fun.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
Actually, yeah. What happens is that I am I am
resourced as someone who can help someone else connect the dots.
And what happens is people think they're telling stories, but

(44:49):
they're not telling stories. They are talking about themselves. They
are timelining, they're event dumping, they're sharing their bio and
that's not a What happened to you is also not
the story. They're separate things. So what is a story?

(45:09):
So a storyteller? A story are the events that a
storyteller chooses to weave together, inserting plot, character, setting, and conflict,

(45:30):
the result of which, in the piecing of all of
these things together is some sense making, some meaning and
that's what makes it a story. And I think what
happens is that people are living at the mercy of
events and they don't know how to connect the dots.

(45:54):
When you connect the dots, then you're like, now I
understand why that happened. I can see the meaning behind that.
And that's who we are. We as human beings are
machines that are looking for meaning out of chaos, right,
and there are many meanings, and the meanings can change.

(46:18):
The meanings can change, right, And I think that that's
what's really powerful. So inevitably what happens, so as what
happened with the story doula piece and how that name emerged,
was that I have historically done a lot of work
with women, and I've done a lot of work with women.
As a Kinsey six gold star gay, I have zero

(46:40):
sexual charge towards women. Women feel very safe in my presence,
and I also acknowledge that I'm not a woman, so
I live through the world in the body of a man.
Identify as a man, I have all the privilege of
that manhood, and also as a queer person and as
a gay man. My own internalized homophobia has to do

(47:01):
with my girliness and my sissiness. I have been battling
my feminine my entire life, in the way that women
and all human beings I think are in that battle
and war internally or externally with their feminine. Their femininity.
However it is that that shows up in the world.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
Uh huh.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
So I started in twenty sixteen a program called Fearless
Force public speaking for visionary women leaders where we would
work with women on crafting like a signature talk in
six days. It was like getting shot out of a cannon.
We ended up doing that program. It's not pivoted, it's
fearless fire, it's gender expansive. How are people identify? But
at the beginning we were working with women. There's what

(47:43):
people think they want to talk about, and then there's
the truth. So creating the ecosystem and the environment where
someone feels safe enough to clear a story that's been
haunting them or sitting with them for a long time,
or to be like I've been trying to piece these

(48:07):
things together and now all of a sudden, I have
clarity on why. Is where this idea of giving light
to that story emerged? And as we say in Spanish
that a loose to bring to light is the birthing
is where this story doula emerged. So it is about

(48:28):
creating the context and the environment where if people feel
safe for the story that they want to share. Sometimes
they don't even know they want to share it, but
the story that wants to emerge emerges, and then what
we have to do is wrestle with what are we
going to do with that story? Right? So I think

(48:51):
for some people it is something that they can digest, right,
which is okay, that was really powerful and that's just
for me, you know, which is why our work is therapeutic.
I say, it's not therapy. See see your therapist goes
to your psychologist. That's not what we do. And yet
to help make meaning of things, I think gives people

(49:13):
clarity understanding, liberation, et cetera. So they can digest it
and or declare it, you know. And then when they
declare it, there's no such thing as private speaking, all
speaking as public. How are they now using that story
not for them, but through them as a tool for

(49:33):
others who may be struggling with whatever that same pain
point or struggle or question that that person maybe was
able to move through. I can give you an example
which is kind of a really really interesting we're going
to get really witchy, you know, but there was a
woman who came to do our program and she is

(49:57):
a chef by training. And again, what people think people
want to talk about in the truth. Yes, so initially
there was like I want to talk about my business,
I want to talk about being a chef. I want
to talk about the work that I do as a
chef that is for you know, marginalized communities, et cetera,
the importance of food. I was like, great, and then

(50:18):
we start the proceeding. She's like, I don't want to
talk about that. What I want to talk about is
I have been visited by spirit three times in my life,
and I don't know what how to make sense I've
I've been wrestling with making sense with what Spirit has

(50:38):
been communicating to me, wow, over my life. And there
have been kind of like three very key moments in
her life. Once as a child in the Dominican Republic,
another time earlier in her chapter in the United States,
and then the third and the spirit visiting was always
it felt loving and you know, beautiful, and she's a

(51:02):
woman of faith, right, And she said that she was
in this moment of like professional crisis, and she got
on her knees and she was praying for like purpose mission,
you know, work that was worthy of her gift and
her talents to really make a difference. And then in

(51:24):
this moment of ecstatic prayer, had this like experience where
like spirit came over her and then she like floated.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
Like in.

Speaker 2 (51:39):
Body mind, out of her body into the church that
was across the street from where she lived, the Catholic church,
you know. And as she was having this, she was
just just surrounded like in that space where like there
was so much love and people and and she felt

(52:01):
so full and she felt so embodied and seen. And
then she came to and then she was really pissed.
She's like, what the fuck was that about? Like I'm
so I'm left with more questions, like I have no answers,
like I don't know. And she went to speak to
a priest, and she went to speak to all that
other all these other things, and which is really really upset,

(52:21):
Like she had this really profound, beautiful experience and was like,
I don't know what anything this is about. I'm just
so angry and what happened? And then I said to her,
what was the name of the parish and she said
Saint Elizabeth of something And I was like, what is
she known for? And she was like, well, she was

(52:43):
a woman of wealth and privilege who stole bread from
her castle from the you know, and fed the poor.
And I was like, what did you do after this thing?
She was like, I left my job, I went to
culinary school and now I lead culinary trainings for you

(53:09):
know people, the elderly people don't have access as I
was like, honey, like, there it is, there, it is.
That was the message. You took the message, you may
not have consciously been aware of it. And it was
like this really beautiful moment that sometimes what we can
do is reflect and mirror and help the person connect

(53:34):
the dots that now gives them clarity in the meaning.
And it's hard because sometimes we're living at the mercy
of the events of our lives, like we don't necessarily
have the time or the resource or the ability to
kind of zoom out and say, wait a second, how
does this all add up to something? And I think

(53:55):
that that is the power of storytelling. And I think
that that is the privilege of being a story.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
Dooler, so good and more than ever, we need our
stories to be told from our perspective, from our eyes.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
Correct and again that you also have to understand why
you're telling the story, because if not, the meaning will
be interpreted for you. Yes, And I think that maybe
that So we just did this amazing program with these
women who are all justice involved, so African American, African American,

(54:38):
afri Latina women all justice involved in New York City,
and they did this book that was published called If
These Scars Could Talk. And I met the woman who
was coordinating this project and I said, how we write
and how we speak are different, So be very powerful

(55:00):
to work with these women on how do I craft
and share the story? And you don't have to say.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
Everything yes, yes, yes, yes, right.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
So that's the thing that's important about the story crafting work,
which is sometimes people are like, well I got to
talk about everything. It's like, you don't have to talk
about everything. That's talking about yourself, right. The storyteller has
power because the storyteller is like, I have choice and
agency in the events that I'm going to communicate. Yes,
and there are some things that are really none of

(55:36):
your business and have actually nothing to do with the
story that I'm telling you, so I'm not going to
talk about that. And then once I finished telling you
the story, I think there's something very powerful and really
elegant about saying and now this is why I told
you the story. So that now what I'm doing is

(55:58):
I am like, yes, you have a right to your interpretation.
You have a right to piece that story together in
your own mind and come up to a different conclusion.
But I'm not giving up the opportunity to communicate to
you exactly why it is that I told you that
story correct, and I think that is a key piece.

(56:21):
And if I am living and sharing a series of
events and I don't have that clarity, then I'm giving
up the power of interpretation to other people, and I'm
not getting a shot to put into the conversation the
meaning that I have been making or the meaning that

(56:42):
I am making of this piece.

Speaker 1 (56:46):
I love that it made me think of my grandfather
who he was a lawyer and an avid, avid reader.
He had a whole room in the house with filled
with books and he would always tell stories. And I
use this now because literally what you said, like I

(57:10):
could hear him be like, you always need to remember
the moral of the story, because if you don't have
a moral of the story, literally what you said, people
will come up with their own.

Speaker 2 (57:20):
They don't hang with their own, and they can, they
absolutely can and have the right to. And I don't
want to give up the opportunity to be very clear
about why I just shared what I shared. Yes, so
what was so interesting was when we were working with
these women. I love something called an anchor story, and

(57:46):
an anchor story is the gift that keeps giving because
it is a story from a formative moment in your life,
oftentimes childhood, but not necessarily, which gives an audience an
insight into who you now are as an adult. Right. So,

(58:08):
for example, for me, when I talk about public speaking
and starting my business, I don't start with like I
was an acting school and I had an idea, right.
It starts with second grade at Show and Tell, clutching
a stuffed animal seal and telling everyone in my class
that I named the seal after the boy that I
had a crush on in nineteen eighty six in Miami, Florida.

(58:30):
And it didn't go well. And that was the first
time that I tasted terror in my mouth. Yes, right,
So why my business is called Fearless Communicators is because
I am in the work of healing the fear and
trauma that I have around speaking. Because from a very
early age, it was clear that there was a reality
or a truth telling an authenticity for me that was

(58:53):
dangerous that I had to cover and I had to hide,
and I had to block because the world around me
couldn't be with the truth. I couldn't be with the truth. Yes, right,
So now you see the adult, but now you also
see the second grader. Yes right. So I could tell

(59:14):
you the story of second grade, you know, and I
can leave it there, or I can tell you why
I told you that story, because it's now connected to
what I am doing in the world. Right, there's a
direct line. There's a direct connection. So what was interesting
is when we did this exercise with these women, there
was one woman who the story that came up was

(59:36):
when she was like eight or nine or ten, there
was a her mother like she she really loved her
mother and really wanted her mother to trust her with something,
and her mother trusted her with taking care of her
little sister. And so the mother went to run an

(59:56):
errand and she got to take care of her little sister.
And what she loved to do in their small one
bedroom apartment in the Bronx was to play adventure and
under the bed because it was dark like a cave.
So it was dark, and she was like she had
an impulse which was like, well, we need light. How
can I create light under here? And then she was

(01:00:19):
like well, she saw a lighter and she was like, well,
maybe I should use the lighter. And there was a
little voice with her that was like, maybe that's not
a good idea. Yeah, and she was like, I'm going
to use the lighter. So she got the lighter and
she lit the match and there was the thread and
then the bet caught on fire and she and her
sister were fine, but she's like trying to like put

(01:00:41):
out cut on the bet caught on fire, and then
her mother was upset and all this other stuff. And
this is not a story about a ten year old
or a nine year old or a ten year old
that's the bed on fire. That's it's a fun story.
I mean, kids do crazy things and all that other stuff.
But it is a story about a young girl who

(01:01:01):
had her instinct and her impulse told her don't do something,
and she over wrote that and did that anyway, Yes,
and that inability to listen to that impulse maybe I
shouldn't do that is something that got her into trouble
later on in her life. Right, yes, So now that's

(01:01:24):
a different way of telling the story.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
For sure.

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
Right, she's not telling her history. I was born, I
went here, that she leads us into a moment at
nine or ten, and she illuminates in that some quality,
some belief, something that continues to impact her to this day.
And I think that that that now becomes a really

(01:01:52):
powerful tool in her toolkit when someone says, tell me
a little about yourself, or tell us about your journey,
or tell us about you know, your commitments in the world. Whatever,
Like there's this really fun story with us anchor that
lets us into something that she's been wrestling with her

(01:02:13):
entire life, at the source of which is like curious
and joy and you know and playful, safe, innocent. You know.
Now there are chapters afterwards, it aren't you know, but
we see, we see, we see the child in the
grown woman, and I think that there's a vulnerability and

(01:02:33):
a tenderness in that that is actually really really inviting
and really powerful.

Speaker 1 (01:02:38):
For sure. How fun. So many more questions, But tell
us about your program that's coming up in the fall.

Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
So we're running the program Fearless Fire public Speaking for
visionary thought Leaders. This will be I think the thirty
first or the thirty second, the thirty second program that
we run. We've done it in New York, San Francisco,
We did it in Tel Aviv, we did it in
Australian literally all over the world. And it is for

(01:03:04):
people who are looking to one craft that narrative that
is going to have them stand out and stick out
and really elevate their thought leadership. So really getting at
the content that's going to really have them thrive and
connect with an audience. So in the program, what you
craft is a signature talk, a twelve to fifteen minute

(01:03:25):
signature talk, and then we have a live showcase taping
day in New York City where.

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
People come out here it it's real real, it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
Gets really real, real, really real, real real, and then
we have a whole marketing mastermind on the other side
of that to help them. Then now take that collateral
and amplify that. So that is our Fearless Fire program
that we'll be running in the fall. So really excited
about that. And I think I have a resource for
your audience members which is called from Story to Spotlight.

(01:03:55):
It is a free resource which is the beginning part
of that, which is is like I want to speak,
I have stories that I want to tell. They're things
that I want to communicate. And what I think is
so powerful about this is it helps us filter the
noise to align on the narrative that's going to make

(01:04:17):
the biggest difference for the people that we want to serve.
So we begin the journey by thinking about our audience
and how we want our audience, what problems do they have,
how do we want them to feel differently about whatever
that problem is. And then we move into these five pillars,
which are based on Aristotle, and how it is that

(01:04:38):
we build trust with an audience, And it is that
you are communicating that you have the requisite experience to
be up there to be speaking about whatever the topic is.
And that's like school of hard knocks and professional experience.
It doesn't all have to be And then I got
a PhD from wherever. You know, sometimes a PhD is
not a helpful duel to your expertise. So there's that

(01:04:59):
the two plus two has to equal Ford like there
it has to be logical, like the math has to match,
you know, in whatever argument it is that you're making
that I can feel it, not just think it. But
we're talking about story and storytelling. And then these two
I think are important, which is one or number four
is the timeliness of your message. So how people spoke

(01:05:20):
about their expertise, you know, when people weren't being disappeared.
To central to a Central American prison is different than
how you would speak about it now, you know, right,
So you have to speak into the current moment that
we're living in. Otherwise it feels tone deaf or canned
or rehearsed. It doesn't have that sense of the momentariness

(01:05:45):
of it. So I think that's important. And then the
last piece number five is like the overall purpose of
your message in speaking, and that you as a speaker, Yes,
want to make money, and you want, you know, you know,
to speak on certain stages, and you want and all
that other stuff, But the audience doesn't care. So they
don't care how much you're getting paid. They don't care
how much. They don't care that you have your dream

(01:06:07):
board and you got your ted talk. They could care less.
They want to be moved, they want to be inspired,
they want to be motivated, they want to they want
they want it to be practical and relevant. So so
how are we ensuring that the purpose of our speaking
is clear and that again that purpose is connected to
the audience and the people that you want to make

(01:06:27):
a difference for so we go through all of that
in this worksheet that helps people define that. So I'm
really happy. There's a video that's attached to it, so
I'm really happy to extend that to all the listeners.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
Yeah, amazing. We'll have everything in the show notes and
all the things and all the things. So a few
more questions before we close. What's your remedyon? Do you
have a remedy you want to share with this?

Speaker 2 (01:06:54):
So I said the remedy and you're like, no Vicks
vapor rub specifically because Cubans is like everything is fixed
vapor up. So the remedy that that I'm going to share,
which I think is fun and I don't necessarily use it,
but it's uh but I but I I need to
find it. And it's really interesting that it's orange. But
there's something called mer uh huh and it's mercure chrome.

(01:07:17):
And that was the remedy for every cut scrape injury
that Cubans had as a child. Is like a no
mediolat is the other one. So there was me which
didn't hurt, and mertiolate is stung. So you didn't want them.
You didn't want them Mediola, you wanted them so anyway,

(01:07:40):
so they So I love that you knew the mediola,
you know, which is painful. I don't want that so
that that would cause tears, you know. But the memo
was like a hydrogen prox It's not hydrogen peroxide, but
that is a.

Speaker 1 (01:07:55):
And it was orange.

Speaker 2 (01:07:56):
It was orange, I remember. Yeah, so there was my
good those were the two, Yeah, those were the two.
So I think that that may be like deep childhood
Latino trauma. You know, the are you getting the medicamo
or you're getting the medu lade? Which one are you getting?
So the me is is that the Cuban the Cuban

(01:08:17):
a remedy that I'm gonna I'm gonna hurt to the mix.

Speaker 1 (01:08:21):
Yes, yes, And do you have a quote or mantra
that you live by right now?

Speaker 2 (01:08:26):
Yes? And I didn't tell this story, but this is
a story for another time that earlier this year, I
got stranded on a mountain in Colorado without food, water,
and Wi Fi for twenty four hours.

Speaker 1 (01:08:41):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (01:08:42):
Yeah. And uh so it was a near death experience
where the car got stuck in the midst of a
on a on a mountain pass that should have been closed,
and I was rescued twenty four hours later and I
leveled twelve Capricorn, the entire thing. So it was, you know,
I rocked the challenge, as they would.

Speaker 1 (01:09:05):
Say, And you were by yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:09:07):
I was by myself. I was by myself again, without food,
without water, without Wi Fi, without any connection for twenty
four hours on this mountain in a car that had
full take a gas. You know, I was. What happened
is the moment that the fear Fairies started showing up.
Now I am very resourced around fear. When the fear

(01:09:31):
fairies emerged, the mantra that emerged was in this moment,
you are safe. In this moment, you are well, and
in this moment you are loved. And I think that
this is It's interesting that this happened on January eighteenth,
Wow of twenty twenty five, and then I was This

(01:09:55):
was January seventheenth of January eighteenth, and then I flew
back home and I got home on January twentieth, the
inauguration of Donald Trump. And it's interesting since then acknowledging
that if we zoom out with the metaphor, you know,

(01:10:15):
the fear fairies are around, I may not have food
water and Wi Fi. But I'm in a car and
I have heat, and i have a full tank of gas,
and I have my candidate goose jacket, and I have
my boots and I'm warm, you know. And what happened
is like, in this moment, I'm safe in this moment,
I'm well in this moment. I loved what happened is

(01:10:36):
I wasn't reacting and choosing out of fear. I was
always choosing from a place of power, not from panic,
and acknowledging that in this moment, I feel privileged in
this political historical moment, I said, I mean I have shelter,

(01:10:57):
I have heat, I have food. You know, I'm in
the car. Now there are people that are, you know,
outside don't have that are what you might call it.
I mean, there was a blizzard, there was like blackout
snow conditions. There are people who are literally at the
mercy of that outside environment. And then there's also the

(01:11:19):
cops and the firefighters and the people who were kind
of praying and calling for you know. So there are
various ways that people can locate themselves in that metaphor.
And I keep coming back to so that I'm not
choosing out of panic or dread or fear. In this moment,
I'm safe in this moment, I'm well. In this moment,

(01:11:41):
I'm loved, and that affords me the opportunity to choose
powerfully what my next move is. But it is, it
is something that I'm checking in with, Like I think
many of us are moment by moment, by moment.

Speaker 1 (01:11:54):
By moment total for sure, it's an active task. Yeah,
tell us all the places and spaces where we can
find you. Where do you want you go to connect
with you?

Speaker 2 (01:12:06):
So LinkedIn is a really great place to connect with me.
So EDWARDO on LinkedIn. You can find me on Instagram
at stand for Fearless, our website Fearless Communicators dot com.
There's a website edwardo dot com. We have a YouTube channel,
so we'll share all the various ways that people can

(01:12:28):
be in the in the fearless world, in the Eduardo
Blaser ecosystem, you know. And I think the simplest and
easiest is probably LinkedIn. I'm pretty active posting on LinkedIn,
and I share a lot there and that's a great
access point to our various pieces. And the last one

(01:12:48):
that I'll share and we can also maybe put A
link to this is that the first Thursday of every
month I host a free public speaking office hours Nice,
So it is an opportunity for people to gather and
to sit with any questions that they have around what's
emerging for them from a public speaking perspective. The one

(01:13:11):
that we did in May was all around trust and
how we build trust with our audience. The one that
we did this last month was all about pride. And
then again it's like this loosely theme but really an
opportunity to reckon with and be in relationship to the
questions that people have. And I think questions and conversation,
and I think that I am in a moment where

(01:13:35):
if we ask the same questions, we get the same answers.
I think we need better questions. So I am in
a better question forming than I am in an answer giving.

Speaker 1 (01:13:46):
Yes, personally, yeah, I resonate with that. And the last
question that I'll ask is if you were to meet
the young version of you that went to that all
male jess with prep school, what's the question that he

(01:14:09):
would ask you and what would you tell him?

Speaker 2 (01:14:12):
I think you would ask are you going to be okay? M?
And I would say yes, baby, you're gonna You're gonna
fucking rocket, yes, right, and I think what what what

(01:14:33):
is there for me? Also is like will you be loved?
Mm hmm right, and and the answer is yes, you know.
And that is not just about the ability and the
willingness to receive love from others, which is important, but

(01:14:58):
it's like will you love your self?

Speaker 1 (01:15:01):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (01:15:02):
And I think that that that has been the healing.
I think that the for the achievement addict people pleasers
in the audience, which I'm sure Pam their many. You know,
For me, the love was all about what I did, performance,

(01:15:22):
the achievements and the merits of it. This idea of
like just being loved because is what we would call
an americanada something Americans do you know? That feels like weird,
you know. And the that journey of greater.

Speaker 1 (01:15:50):
Being with.

Speaker 2 (01:15:53):
The ability to love all the colors of oneself, I
think ultimately allows one to be loved by others.

Speaker 1 (01:16:05):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:16:06):
And I think that that is that is the edge
at forty eight that I'm continuing, like I think it's
a it's an edge, yes, you know, to continue to
allow and expose more to be open into the receiving

(01:16:28):
of greater love of self and others.

Speaker 1 (01:16:30):
Yes, so timely, thank you, thanks sharing all the things
with us.

Speaker 2 (01:16:37):
Yeah, and blessed their death.

Speaker 1 (01:16:45):
All right, listeners, So this conversation, I hope you enjoyed it.
I think it was really insightful. I actually had a
call with it prior to this episode, which is not usual,
and we got to connect over so many things and
so definitely, as you just found through the interview, he

(01:17:11):
has a lot of really powerful insights and I think
this is one of those episodes that could hopefully leave
you inspired. I mean a lot of them are, and
I would love to know what you think. Great time
to screenshot and tag at Kavakamba Podcast tell us what

(01:17:32):
do you think. Of course you can tag him Tega
and let him know what you thought of this episode
and if this podcast has ever inspired you. Some ways
you can support us to keep going and to keep
creating and sharing our stories. There's so many ways free
ways of course, live a rating, review, subscribe, leave a comment,

(01:17:53):
share it with someone you love. All of those activities
help the podcast so much. If you have capital and resources,
you can join the Supporters Club, or five dollars a
month you can buy the team coffee and you can
allow us to continue to create this free show to you,

(01:18:15):
and also you get exclusive content. And so for example,
right now we're going through the series of Banana con
Self Love, and if you just listen to the episode
on Kavakombam, then you have to wait until the end
of August ors I think to finish all the episodes

(01:18:36):
because we have to. We can't just publish all of them. However,
if you're part of the Supporters Club or you are
one of our clients, you get access to the series
and you can binge them, which a lot of people
have already done and it's so fun to hear your thoughts.
You can also explore the various options to work with us.

(01:18:58):
Right now, as I'm recording this, we have Betan Self
Love going. It's not a course. It's not I can
tell you what it's not. It's not a course, it's
not a coaching program, it's not a one on one container.
It's an exploration of yourself. And I built the five
stories to explore the five wounds of Kia culture so

(01:19:23):
that you can have a container that allows you to
self explore how you give love to yourself. And this
is not at all pinterest friendly. It's not about pretty
and curated and beautiful. Sometimes it is, but self love
could be logging off your computer early. Self love could

(01:19:47):
be not turning your camera on at a meeting. You
get to define what that looks like for you. Betancone
selflove dot com. If you're curious, would love to have you.
Have you joined us? There? There's some options and of course,
like an I provide options for you to join our
work because I do believe in accessibility and I do
believe you know, different people need different type of support.

(01:20:10):
If you're part of an organization, you can hire me
to speak at your organization to share to I love teaching,
I love doing workshops. I talk about gay culture and
I would love to bring conversations to more and more people.
And now that we can do it, I r L
why not at KAVAKBM podcast on all the Socials. Thank
you so much for listening, Nosmo

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