Why Latinas Need to Speak Up with Hady Méndez

In this episode of Café con Pam, Pam chats with Hady Méndez about her Puerto Rican roots, identity, and what it means to claim your voice as a Latina. Hady breaks down the ins and outs of Puerto Rican citizenship, shares how Bad Bunny inspired her connection to heritage, and tells the story behind her new book, "Calladita No More."

The conversation is full of real talk about leaving the U.S. for a softer life, navigating family expectations, celebrating cultural traditions, and choosing your own definition of success.

If you’re ready to hear about finding your power and living authentically, you won’t want to miss this one!

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Episode Transcript

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(02:21):
Welcome back to kompam Vi bilingual podcastorias since el Conversation.
Haimendez Halie is a New York based Amazon best selling author,
Latina speaker, and ERG coach. She's a founder and CEO
of Boldly Speaking, LLC, a company that is transforming the

(02:42):
professional experience of women and people of color by empowering
underrepresented employees with the skills to self advocate, self promote,
and ascend into leadership roles with employee resource groups also
known as ergs, and of course across organizations. Hadi has

(03:03):
a diverse career spanning over twenty five years, and she
served as head of equality for a major tech firm.
She's held multiple customer facing roles in high tech and
financial services. Also, she's been a leader and advisor across
various ergs. She's volunteered as an international champion for incarcerated

(03:28):
and formerly incarcerated women and served as community school director
at an elementary school in the South Bronx. Howdy's essays
have been featured in Business Insider, Wilgirl, Latina, and her
thought leadership has been leveraged by organizations such as HEG Diversity,
Power to Fly, Leni Latinas and many others That is Awesome.

(03:53):
Hadi is a Latinas in Tech Luminadiez twenty twenty two honore,
a Woman of Alpha in twenty twenty three, Latina to Watch,
and a LinkedIn top coaching and mentoring voice in her
free time. Hattie is an amateur street art photographer and
an avid podcast listener. When a listeners mcomhersen with Hattie,

(04:13):
of course we talk about her recent book Ga More,
and we dive into her story. And because the book
is very much a autobiography slash memoir slash very much
her story, we had a lot of fun and you know,

(04:34):
I talk everything Kagelta culture and so when I heard
that Hetty was talking was writing the book called Gajear,
I was like, let's go. I also give her an
endorsement for the book, so you'll see my name written
on the book as well, because it's definitely something that

(04:54):
this is the time for us to use her voice,
speak our truth, standing our power. Seine mass here's my
conversation with miss Haimandez. How are you.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
I'm doing okay, thank you for asking. A little busy.
Things have been a little hectic on.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
My side, but good hectic.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
Yeah, mostly good hectic. I'm doing a lot of running
around because I'm trying to publicize this.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
Book and it takes work.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
You're on tour, but.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
He's setting up the tour.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
I know, I know you're on it. I love it,
so it sick is back a little bit. Tell me
what's your heritage.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
I'm Puerto Rican born and raised in Brooklyn, New York.
Officially that makes me New Yor Rican. But you know,
we I think we all even if we're not born there,
if our parents are from there, I think we all
still identify as Moriqua.

Speaker 3 (05:48):
So I'm Moriqua.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
I'm new a Rican, I'm Puerto Rican, and I actually
recently obtained my Puerto Rican citizenship, so I'm also a
Puerto Rican citizen officially according to is now nice.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
So let's break that down because some people, a lot
of people might be confused about the whole dynamic of
Puerto Rico in the US. It's a thing.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
It's a thing.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah, so how could you be a citizen of Puerto
Rico when Puerto Rico seig one is part of the US.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
So okay, let me say two things.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
One is, the people who qualify are either people that
are born there, people that have lived there for like
a certain amount of time, or people that have parents
that live there and or that were born there.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
And that's me. I'm The last one is I have
parents that were born there, so that qualifies me to
be a Puerto Rican citizen. A Puerto Rican.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Citizen could be like that citizenship pape. It could be
something you can hang on your wall and just be like,
I'm a Puerto Rican citizen, but really you're an American
citizen because Puerto Rico is a commonwealth of the United States.
So basically I'm still an American citizen. Plus I have
my Puerto Rican citizenship. Why did I want it? Because
I can go to many other countries with that citizenship

(07:01):
papel being a Latin American citizenship, and I can get
my citizenship in another country much more quickly than if
I did applied as a US citizen. An example being
if I went to Mexico and I said, hey, I
love Mexico, I like living here. I want to be
a Mexican citizen. I could become a citizen in two
years with my Puerto Rican citizenship.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
Ha. And the same is true for like Spain and
other places. So it's like reparations, it's your reparation is.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
No, but it's a hook up and it's great, and
you know, I know, like it was a very little
known thing, and I think mostly it wasn't worth it
to do it because it's like we're American citizens, Like
what more do you want?

Speaker 1 (07:47):
Right at some point being a US citizen was like
the thing.

Speaker 3 (07:51):
Yeah, but ja, yeah, there's benefits to having other to
identify and have citizenships in other ways. And so yeah,
it's my secret. It's my ticket to ride. I see
where the it's gonna take me.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
I love that what made you decide to get it
now and not before?

Speaker 2 (08:13):
You know, I want to say Bad Bunny, but like
it's so funny, but it's like, okay, So I just
went to Puerto Rico before the Bad Bunny tour, before
I applied for the citizenship, before I went to the
Bad Bunny tour.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
But I've been in love with Bad Buddy to the
tour I did go to. I did go to the Yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
I was like, did you don't tell me you missed it? No?

Speaker 3 (08:35):
No, So I went to.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
I fell in love with Bad Bunny when the album
dropped in January and then you know so and I
bought my tickets almost right away to go to the
to see him in Puerto Rico and then nice. You know,
I think one of the things that Bad Bunny did
for the Puerto Rican the yaspora is to really bring
us in include US. So now there's like it's a
bigger tent. So it's like you could have been born

(08:57):
in Puerto Rico and moved to the US, or maybe
you were born in the US but your parents were
from Puerto Rico, or maybe you just born in Puerto
Rico lived in Puertorico your whole life, like there's lots
of us and we show up in different ways, and
I feel like he included everybody. And then that made
me feel like have Like now I'm like, oh, I
want to be Puerto Rican. That's like, you know, that's
where my Aula was born. Like there's a song that

(09:19):
he sings that he's like, no, Misaka, I'm gonna forget
the words. There's something something something it then I don't
remember the words, but it's like but then ask your mail, Yeah,
I'm the words I forgot and too much pressure, but
he does say that, then ask you Manuela, and I'm like, hey,
that's Puerto Rican people that were born in Puerto Rico.

Speaker 3 (09:38):
And that's me too. My Auela was born in Puerto
Rico and.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
My mom and my father, my mother and father were
born in Puerto Rico, and so I'm entitled to be
a Puerto Rican citizenship too. And and you know, circumstances
were such that I wasn't born there, but I'm I
identify very much as a Puerto Rican.

Speaker 3 (09:55):
So what kind of brought me.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
To it was like a little bit of him making
me feel more included and then just knowing that it
opens more doors to opportunities for me, and like, this
is not a great time to.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
Be living in the United States. We know it that.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
It's like we're very much under attack and I want options.
I'm a party of one. I don't have children, I
don't have a husband. Jon no tengo marioy Like, I'll
pack my bags up and I'll leave. And so it's like,
now I got the Papa is necessary to be able
to do that and resettle somewhere else if I need
to or if I want to, And that's where you
want to be.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
And it's kind of wild to think about that this
is where we are.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
I know, you're you're not kidding, Like I think our
parents and grandparents would be like what we.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
We sacrifice so much to come here and now we're leaving.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
But it's like, hey, you know, this is going to
be such a pivotal moment in history, like when future
generations read about how like we all migrated to the
US and then we all migrated back somewhere else. And
I'm and you know, I have I'm considering playing to
move to Europe, which would take me all the way back.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
To like.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
My other ancestors, you know, like according to twenty three
and meters, I was born. My ancestors come from Spain
and Portugal, and so that would be interesting if that's
where I ended up. Wow, And I will tell you
for real that I went to Portugal recently, like in
the last two years, and I feel very much at

(11:25):
home in Portugal.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
I ain't gonna lie like out of the well.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Nice.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
Yeah. I was eating back a lao and eating my
bread and I was, you know, I was like, wow,
like I feel like something about my spirit was like
I've been here, I've been here before, like something like that.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
Yeah, And you brought up something that this specific topic
that I've been thinking about a lot, because I I
think often how forty seven talks about how Latin America
sends the worst to this country, and that's, you know,
why all the attacks and all the things that are happening.

(12:04):
But then I've been having a lot of conversations I
teach for I do a lot of consulting for different companies,
and oftentimes these are global conversations that I have with
people all over the world. And I have met in
the last three months, so many Americans have left the country.

(12:27):
And these are scientists, these are people with high level
like they just go to the HQ, And so it
makes me wonder, like you're talking about leaving, and you're
good people, you know. So I think about how the

(12:49):
current state of the country is pushing out the good
people and who's going to stay?

Speaker 3 (12:53):
You know, who's going to stay? What is this country
going to look like in ten fifteen years? Is going
to be interesting?

Speaker 2 (13:01):
I mean, I think there'll still be a lot of
us here because you know, not everyone has the privilege
or the opportunity to move abroad or the desire. Quite frankly,
some people want to stay and some people want to fight.
And you know, like I have a niece who wants
She lives in California. She wants to be a senator,
and I'm like, yeah, I'll come back and be her.
I don't know if i'll be her campaign manager. I

(13:23):
might be too old for that, but I'll be her
like whatever whatever she wants to be, I'll carry her
suitcases or her bags or something.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
You know.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
So not everybody wants to go, and I guess it
depends why age and stage you're in.

Speaker 2 (13:36):
Like I feel like I was already thinking about a
lower cost living location. I was already thinking of a
slower life. I was already thinking of like just wanting
to explore and do I love you know, who doesn't
love traveling.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
But you know, I've always enjoyed it.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
And and I feel like because I am single and
you know, without children, I can move around a lot
easier than some other people. You know, a lot of
people they take that into consideration. I have, you know,
friends and and family members that they got kids and
their kids everybody's working. It's like you can't just get
up and go like that. That is not an option

(14:12):
for everybody. So there'll be plenty of us left here.
I'm going to come back and visit. And who knows,
you know, you don't know what turned twists and turns
life is going to take you through. But I know
that for my retire as I ease my way into retirement,
I am definitely looking to, you know, to live that
soft life, that easy life that you know, I want

(14:35):
to like be doing things I love and being around
people I love, and you know, just not.

Speaker 3 (14:40):
To friendo and not like in the struggle and not
you know, hustling.

Speaker 1 (14:46):
Hard, even be afraid to leave the house.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
Exactly when Joe Joe did the Mario Messe. I've been
carrying my birth certificate around my passport. You know, I
had to like finally be like, okay, you could leave
the past, put our home, but put the little burst.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
I have like an extra copy in my birth certificate.
I keep it in my in my purse that I
that I, you know, like kind of like the thing
that I just my my I don't know what you
call it a crossover body bag or something.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
So I just keep it there and it's just permanently there.
And I'm like, I have my birth certificate if I
need it. But so I said, so that's so stupid,
Like I'm like, what what what are we coming down
to that that is necessary? And I'm born and raised here.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
No, no, I know it's wild.

Speaker 3 (15:31):
Yeah, it's it's we don't we don't want to be
living in fear.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
We don't want to be living with anxiety this look,
I mean loma and the mood, like I just get
very I have to manage like how much how many
videos I'm watching of people.

Speaker 3 (15:48):
Getting detained and dragged away.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
I try to manage all that so that I can
rest because I have important work to do and I
don't want to like my work to be disrupted by
all of this noise and all of these things that
are meant to be distractions. So I have to stay
very focused and grounded.

Speaker 3 (16:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
It's finding that I don't want to call it balance
because it is not, but that interesting dance between being
true and updated and you know, we don't want to
be like living in the sand.

Speaker 3 (16:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah, But at the same time, there's work to do,
which takes me to you wrote a book, no more.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
Yeah, So why now what brought you to say this
is the time?

Speaker 3 (16:40):
Yeah? It is interesting.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
So I have to tell I started I joined like
a book like an accelerated program to work with the
book coach last fall.

Speaker 3 (16:51):
So this was pre election. It was probably like October.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
It was probably October, and I was like had my
vision and the title and what I wanted to write about.
And after the election, I actually was wondering whether it
was a good time to write it because I was like, man,
you know, like this just feels like there's going to
be such bigger fish to fry? Is this the time
for me to be doing this? And it's interesting because

(17:17):
I was in the cohort, my cohort, the people. My
fellow members of this accelerator program were all non white sorry,
non Latino. They were all white, not Hispaniics, and every
single one of them encouraged me to write the book.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
They were like, no, you have to write it now,
you really have to write it. And so I thought
that was like a good side. I took that as
a good sign that like they were like, no, you can't.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
Now.

Speaker 3 (17:43):
It's not the time to be silent now. It's not
the time to you know, keep guard, you know, be guarded.
It's not the time to be guarded.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
You know, like that was my to be quiet.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
Yeah, it was.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
I think that's what I was thinking. It's like, well,
I'll just kind of sit in a corner and I'm
just gonna have to and you know, deal with this.
And to be honest with you, I'm so glad that
I decided to write the book and was encouraged to
do so, because in some of the worst moments of
the last six or seven months, the book is what

(18:19):
saved me. The book is what gave me hope. The
book kept me positive, The book kept me very focused.
It has been such a life saving thing for me,
Like it really gave me hope in very difficult moments.
So I'm very happy. So that book has a lot
of our struggle in the pages, you know what I mean,

(18:41):
Like that it was hard to some days were hard
to get those words out and to because I'm providing
people with hope. Part of the book is for me
to say, you know, we don't We're not asking for
permission anymore. We are not waiting for anybody. We are
going to show up for ourselves and we are going
to step into our power. We're going to take up space.
We're going to show up. We're going to be authentic,

(19:02):
We're gonna be unapologetic. And I had to say those
things in days where they were dragging people off and
separating families and the you know, the talk about like
the tension that was held between those two things in
the period of a day.

Speaker 3 (19:17):
But I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I followed through.

Speaker 1 (19:21):
I love that you have questions after each chapter and
you also open with which I love.

Speaker 3 (19:28):
I love.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
I know there's a fun but I'm curious because it's
it's a very anecdotal, autobiographical type of book, so you
share a lot of personal stories, and I wonder what
stories didn't make to the book didn't make the book?

Speaker 2 (19:44):
Hmm, there were there were definitely some stories that didn't
make it. You're looking for a good a good one,
or a bad one, because I have a good story
that I wish I had included. Okay, so let me see.
I got to think of a bad one. But while
I think of the bad one, I'll tell you a
good one. There was one situation one time that I

(20:07):
spoke up at work that led to like, I thought
that the that the art department or our team could
benefit from having a reverse mentoring program. So instead of
just having traditional like someone senior mentors and younger person,
I wanted it to be reverse mentoring. But for the

(20:29):
I guess the context to be DEI. So, in other words,
a person of color, a woman, someone from some underestimated
group is gonna mentor white cis gendlemen.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
And we did it. We got it to work, and
I ended up being partnered with like the head of
the department, and he was my age. So I don't
know how old we were when this happened. Let's say
call it forty five.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
We were both forty five, and he was like how
and like as he got to know me, and he
got to see all the work had done.

Speaker 3 (21:01):
He's like, why are you not in a more senior role?
Like you have so much experience and you went to
like you work for such great companies and you have
And I was like, yeah, that is a good question.
You riddle me that, like you tell me why I
don't have a more senior role. I'm like, that is
the problem. You have named it and you have seen
it for yourself, that why am I in not a

(21:23):
more senior role? He just wow because he thought.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
Like maybe I was a little younger, a little bit
more wet behind the ears, and he was like, no,
you you're awesome, like you have so much great experience,
and he like he was like me, like he was
an SVP and I wasn't even a director at that time.
And we're not even talking about money, right because money wise,
I'm sure he was making like three four times what

(21:49):
I was making, Yes, at least or at least twice
according to the numbers. He's probably the chances were that
he was making at least twice, but the truth is
it's at least twice when it's the same level. He
was like several levels ahead of me. So he was
probably making three or four times what I was making.
And we were the same age, same experience, not the same,
not that you know, we're everybody is umundo, so we're

(22:09):
not the same person. We have different experiences, but I
think he could see that. It was like we're not
that different for this too, for this gap to be
this big between you and me, he saw it, he
recognized it. Yeah, anyway, I think that's a bad and
a good one.

Speaker 3 (22:25):
So I'll comfortable, like it'll take both boxes for me.
But that was one story that didn't make it, not
on purpose, but like you know.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
It's just like there was There's a lot of stories,
so it's just like not everyone was going to make it,
and there were some other more important ones that I
think needed to be said for sure.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
So now I want to dig through this one. So
as he said this to you, like why are you
not in a more senior role? Did he did he
do anything to help you climb.

Speaker 3 (22:52):
A lot of things.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
So there was a video that we were doing for
one of our biggest customers, which I have was I
was one one of the many people that was assigned
to work with the biggest customer. That this company had,
and he made sure I was in the video so
I got some little exposure there. He we used to
do during our all hands calls. We would bring in
customers from time to time and like interview them and

(23:16):
find out how they were using the product and all
this stuff. He made sure that I got I also
was represented there. He was a sponsor to get me
promoted nice And then when I ended up leaving the team,
he was like, who do I need to talk to
to say good things about you? Like who's going to
be your new manager?

Speaker 3 (23:34):
Who were you know?

Speaker 2 (23:35):
Who do I need to uh, I guess share all
the great things that you're capable of with So he
ended up being a big fan.

Speaker 3 (23:43):
I love that, Yeah, And.

Speaker 1 (23:45):
I asked it because I think for the listeners who
want to be kayid on more, I think we also
which you you share all of this in the book.
We need to do our part without expecting handouts like
this story that you just shared and the many of

(24:06):
them that you have in the book, show how you've
never been a victim of the system. You know you've
worked hard, Lasicello and as you've done your best. And
because we tend to be overlooked. This is where like
those types of sponsorships and allyships that you also talk

(24:27):
about and the book are so important without crying about it,
without being like, oh nobody sees me.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, we don't want to be the victim because that
does that's not going to get us anywhere. It's like,
it is unfortunate, this is our cross to bear. It
ain't good, but nimodo, we got to keep going. So
to me, it's just like, Okay, I accept that this
is a broken.

Speaker 3 (24:51):
System, and it is.

Speaker 2 (24:53):
I end up being on the like the bad end
of things most of the time, and I got to
work twice as hard and I'm a I'm just gonna
find the way to be successful anyway for sure.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
So I've given this example before. I use the metaphor
of a bridge. How some people are call it white people.
They are born with a bridge that's been built, you know.
And so when they start like from the moment they're
born just because their last name is whatever, smith, that

(25:27):
already gives them access to certain things. Yeah, and then
you talk about the family access. You know, I didn't
grow I never had a conversation about money. I never
had a conversation about budgeting. Your book is to your mom,
you know, who never held a corporate job.

Speaker 3 (25:45):
And didn't have a bank account or a credit card, I.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
Know, and so and so we also have to look
at the reality of things. How like elves, you know,
un bridge the it's like already has steps and they
can like walk through it much easier. We are building
as we go. Yes, And the other thing that's I

(26:08):
think important to highlight is that which I noticed the
themes throughout your book of you brought family all the time.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
So why your mom?

Speaker 1 (26:18):
You talk aboy your dad, and talk why your sister?
And so that's a very much a Latino thing that
we bring our familiars with us. Yeah, and so we
also I think want to give ourselves grace that as
we navigate the space where we are overlooked, underrepresented, maybe
even quiet, it it's important to remind ourselves that we

(26:42):
have a much we have a bridge that we're building,
and then we're like carrying our little siblings behind us
or our parents or whatever it is. And so it's
it's the car that we were handed and.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
That's it it is.

Speaker 2 (26:56):
And I think the sooner we can accept I think
the sooner we can start to find ways to overcome it.
I just feel like there's not a lot of upside
to dwelling and sitting in it. There's a whole chapter
that I have on Steadfast in Positiva, and I talk
about stay ready, get ready for what's coming. Stay you know,

(27:22):
process the things that are difficult, but don't get stuck
in them. Don't dwell there, don't stay there, you know,
find ways to superate and then to start getting ready
because we don't know when they're coming, whether keeping amayana
or it could come five years from now, and so

(27:42):
we just have.

Speaker 3 (27:43):
To stay ready, stay positive, keep keep.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
Planting seeds, you know, building relationships, finding people to align with,
to grow with. You know, there's a lot we can
do during the waiting period. And I call it waiting
not because we're not doing anything, but because we're preparing
ourselves for the things that we want and that we
hope for. And we just know that these things don't
happen overnight. You know, yeah, it feels like it, but

(28:10):
it's like these things, you know, set on temple and
you have to be patient but positive and persevere.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
You what is it.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
That put even see that you can't give up? You
have to continue to forge ahead and find partners in
the work and find joy in the journey, because the
journey could be long or the journey could be short.
But like you say, it can't be just like I
want that endgame, I want the thing that I want.
It's like, but find ways to find joy and positivity

(28:44):
and and get animal even as you're working towards the
thing that you want.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah, for sure. That made me think of when you
hike a mountain. You know, you're just looking at the
peak and like, but if you were to you know,
and then look back and look at how much you've
climbed exactly A ready a beautiful when. And it's happened

(29:10):
to me when I've when I've climbed mountains, and when
I've hiked mountains, I don't climb where I like take
a pause and then I look behind me, and it's
such a beautiful landscape that if I hadn't given myself
the time to look back, which I think a lot
of people, especially in the US, but the monochronic culture
of the US is like, just chase the next success.

Speaker 3 (29:33):
Chee check.

Speaker 2 (29:34):
Yeah, you don't even, you don't even you're barely celebrating
it and you're onto the next day that's about.

Speaker 3 (29:39):
That's a horrible thing that we do here. It really is.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
Yes, totally, I have been victim to that. Like I
don't even I'm like, okay, been there, done that, next
and it's it's a it's a disfavor or yeah, it's
it's not something good that we do at all.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
That's not a positive thing.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
Because it makes it like it doesn't bring us back
to the truth of what we want.

Speaker 3 (30:00):
That would say.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
But then we can look at our countries. I mean,
I'm sure it happens to you when you go to
Puerto Rico. When I go to my Hico, and even
when I went to Puerto Rico, purturg is one of
my favorite places. It's beautiful. It's this like slowness. Yeah,
you know, like the moment I don't know if it
happens to you, but the moment I land, it's almost
like my body breathed and.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
Yes, the monkey's off your back. I actually lived in
South America for two years.

Speaker 1 (30:30):
Yeah you're a Bolivia tripp.

Speaker 3 (30:32):
Yeah, I lived in Bolivia for two years and.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
I experience what you're saying like every day because they
were a very contemplative. You know, a lot of it
was not like where are you going or what are
you doing? It's like we're here. It was more present
than like the goal. The goals are few and far between.
I remember, in fact, that I was doing a workshop

(30:57):
with the women there. It was the women that had
gotten out of prison, and I was doing a workshop
with them and I was like, what are what's your
two to three year plan? And they were like looking
at me like I had ten eyes.

Speaker 3 (31:08):
They're like what. I'm like, what do you want to do?
What are your goals?

Speaker 2 (31:12):
And they were like okasamana, like what are you talking about?
That was like very foreign to them. They're more they
especially even in the way they sell an then amayana
and then they bring home the money that they earned

(31:33):
that day. It's very like contained day to day. Yeah, yeah,
it's day to day. So that that whole culture and
vibe is so different. And that was one of the
things I really loved about living there was that it
forced me to be that way too, because I couldn't
really plan ahead that much like that. That was not
a thing people I was not rewarded for that. They were,

(31:53):
in fact, it was frowned upon, it was like what
are you talking about? Like what you know, let's talk
about now, how are you feeling in this moment?

Speaker 1 (32:03):
You know?

Speaker 3 (32:03):
So, yeah, I learned a lot there, and it's.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
To bring you back to ka and you know, I
talk about Gaeta culture. I think it's it brings us
back to to just being because we're doing all the time,
and so when we're able to say, who are you
right now in this moment, just we don't know what's

(32:28):
going to happen tomorrow. Yep, we don't know right now,
right here, right now, even this moment in time when
you that you and I are sharing, it's never going
to happen again. Yeah, we can meet again, you can
come back to be like Obama another time, but it's
not going to be the same moment in time, you know.

Speaker 3 (32:44):
Correct.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
And I think monochronic cultures in time, like culturally, people
that live within time, which is such a construct, tend
to be unhappier because it's just you're not here. You're like,
what's this thing? What the next checkbox that I can do?

Speaker 3 (33:06):
I agree with you.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
I remember I remember that you did like a really
good maybe it was one or two episodes on that
very topic because I remember where I was when I
was listening when I was listening to it, because I
was like, which am I?

Speaker 1 (33:17):
But and you might have messaged me about it now
that I talk about it, I.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
Think I did, because it really resonated with me.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
But we do ourselves a disservice when we're not like
we're just focused on the future. But I do think
that there is some upside to thinking about the future,
Like I'm definitely like, as an example, there's a chapter
called Eskubri and THO You're why, So it's like discovering
your why, And I think that is somewhat future related
because you're saying, well, what's the point of my life?

Speaker 3 (33:44):
Why am I here? And what am I here to do?
And I feel like it helps a lot with like
where you're going to go. It helps to guide you
and where you want to go.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
So it's an important It is a now exercise and
exercise that you do now, but it helps you and
it yeah, it guides you in what you where you
go and like kind of how you get there and
who you go there with and like your spirit and
your attitude that you bring into getting there and all
of that. So I do feel like that, you know,

(34:15):
in that sense, I could see the upside of thinking
of that because it's it's providing you guidance and direction.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
Totally. We do need to have a north star. And
being from the city, I mean you're from the city
and I'm from Mexico City. Like it's almost like our
bodies kind of need a north star, you know, like, Okay,
what sure I'll be in the present and what am
I going to look at? What am I looking forward to?
I think that's also important.

Speaker 3 (34:43):
I agree, yes, And I remember when I was in corporate.

Speaker 2 (34:46):
During my corporate days, I lived for vacation, so I
always needed to have like what where am I going
and how soon is it? And that was the thing
that just like in those hard days, I was like,
but I'm going to Mexico in three months or I'm
going to be in Puerto Rico in a week or
whatever it was. It just gave me the it was
a little carrot to just be like keep going. For

(35:07):
sure on those hard days, it was like, just keep going.
You got something good to look forward to.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
You told me, you think because you live in quote
non traditional life, so you've shared, you know, have a husband,
you have kids, you can literally pick up your stuff
and believe, which is what would be considered a non
traditional path from what we've been socialized as women. I
know I also live a non traditional like I'm not
going to have children and because of the normative beliefs

(35:37):
around who women need to be, which is part of
being GAGETI that were not How have you chosen to
just live your life without the constraints the expectations, maybe
perhaps the potential shame that people might be like, ooh,
but you don't follow you know that road?

Speaker 3 (35:58):
Well, I guess I'll start saying that I don't consider
to be non traditional, like I'm.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
Like, yeah, that's why I put it in quotations.

Speaker 3 (36:05):
It's been my life for some time.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
I have been married, and I've been married twice and
divorced twice, and I feel like I don't know if
the married life is for me. I will never say never,
but I'm much happier on my own and I love
the ability to be nimble and just be like, I
don't know, I don't want to live here anymore, or
I don't want to do that anymore, or I just
feel like staying in today in my pajamas, which I
don't do very often, or I want to go for

(36:28):
a walk or whatever. I love the ability to decide
how I live my life in every single facet. So
that's you know, I do enjoy that, and that's why
it's like I actually wrote.

Speaker 3 (36:40):
A substack about this.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
I'm like, it is going to take quite the person
to get me out of my current situation because it
is a good situation. So it's like, I'm not really
trying to leave my circumstances because I feel like a
lot of freedom and independence.

Speaker 3 (36:52):
And I like that. I value that.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
I guess did you always value it? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (36:57):
I think I did.

Speaker 2 (36:59):
I feel like the first time I got married, I
was very young and it was like everybody was getting married,
so I was like, let me get married before like
no one picks me.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
I was like twenty five, But that's that's the path, right,
Like we tend to see the models and we tend
to follow them.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, it's like you know Yahora like literally, so I
was like, all right, you know, good enough, good good enough.
And that didn't work out very well. And we were
a mixed race, mixed culture. And I don't think that
that's problematic at all, but like in our case, it
was a problem, but that's because we were very young
and immature. And then I got married again a few

(37:35):
years after that. Also it was a interracial marriage. I've
had two interracial and actually they were both inter faith
marriages too, so wow, both of them were like that,
and my second one, I was definitely more mature. But
I just, yeah, I don't know, it was it was
a rough time in my life, and I feel like

(37:56):
I just I needed to any space.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
And so I got.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
Divorced pretty quickly after the second marriage, and then I
haven't really been in a serious relationship since. But anyway,
going back to you know, I think you said something
about like judgment or whatever. I don't even I don't
know if people judge me, but I don't know anything
about it. I'm, you know, so like maybe they're saying it,

(38:21):
but they're not saying it to me. And by the way,
I don't I don't know, I'm not I don't really
care like what other people's opinions are to be rank.

Speaker 3 (38:32):
Like, I'm like, it's my life. I'm pretty happy with it.

Speaker 2 (38:35):
I read the book and Primas and I identify with
so many of the archetypes. And it's like, to me,
the way I live my life is liberating, it's freeing,
it's it's just yeah, it's it's life giving to me.
So I don't want to change it unless I have to,

(38:55):
or unless there's a good reason to. And you know,
and thankfully it's a lot I think having that freedom
from you know, relationships and children and all of that,
it's opened up space for me to write this book.
I dedicated to my mom, but it's also a lot,
in large part dedicated to the next generation because I

(39:16):
want them to learn from, you know, the things that
I experienced. And so I don't have a child, but
I have many those are many children or many many
family members that I wrote the book for.

Speaker 3 (39:28):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
Actually really take a coffee break, so it's a quick
coffee break, okay, So so how did you drink coffee?

Speaker 3 (39:42):
I do. I actually have a little coffee in here.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
Nice. How do you drink your coffee?

Speaker 3 (39:49):
Usually two ways. Either I have co brew black.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
Okay, no sugar, so just cee straight straight, yeah, and
I make it a home you make your own cold brew.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
Yeah, and it's really good. And so that's my favorite.
And that's how I have it at home and then
when I'm out, I like oat milk. Cortado is what
I have. So it's espresso with a little bit of milk.
Nice yep and cinnamon.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
Okay, yeah, I like that on the warm one, on
the hot one, on.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
The hot one.

Speaker 2 (40:25):
Yeah, when I do the oat milk, even if it's cold.
But if I do the cortado, I like the cordado.

Speaker 1 (40:30):
With cinnamon, but a little cinnamon. Nice, nice, nice cold brew.
I used to when I was a verista a long
time ago. My one of my tasks was to make
the cold brew. And I used to make a twenty
four hour cold brew. And so it's like that was strong.

(40:51):
But there there's a f nass. There's there's a there's
a way to make cold brew that where you can
if you can drink cold brew without adding anything and
it tastes really good. There's this sweetness to the cold
brew it is.

Speaker 3 (41:03):
Yeah, then the nitro cobrew is the best one because
the nitro is the foamy and it's like got me
and it's like a little CARAMELI chocolatey or something. It's
got it's got like its own sweetness to it.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
That's it highlights the notes.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
Yeah, and there's nothing and there's there's no sugar, there's
no milk, there's no nothing but analgo.

Speaker 3 (41:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
Do you want to give a shout out to a
coffee shop in your neighborhood.

Speaker 3 (41:27):
I'm gonna give a shout out to two. Yeah. Can
I give out too?

Speaker 2 (41:30):
So one one is my old coffee shop in Brooklyn
that I haven't been to in a minute, but they
they make the best cobrew and it's called Hungry Ghosts.
And they were in the bottom of the building where
I live. So I would like I would like, you know,
Sie got to go get my coffee. So the Hungry
ghost that was my spot back in the day.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
And then.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
Now I want to give a shout out to Birch.
Birch is like a little chain in New York. It's
not like Starbucks, you know type thing, but but it
is a little chain. There's a couple of locations and
it's quite good. It's called Birch b I R C H.

Speaker 3 (42:07):
And it's cute and all the locations are really nice.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
And they use a type of milk that is literally
like they make the milk and it's just like milk
it's like I don't know what the base is because
it's they're all plant based, but it's like something in water.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
And the milk is just very.

Speaker 2 (42:24):
Copacabbean, so they don't make they don't use the liged
like cart They use the liged that they make and
it's very fresh.

Speaker 3 (42:31):
And I have a very sensitive stomach, so that chef's.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
Kiss nice and it's close to you.

Speaker 2 (42:38):
Now, No, it's not close to me. It's I only
go there when I go into the city. When I
go to Manhattan, I'm about ninety minutes outside the city.
So when I go to Manhattan, I always make a
stop at Birch Nice.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
Well, on my end, I'm drinking mushroom coffee and cacao,
so I've been talking about cocoo and I'm in my
my first cacao cup and then I did a splash
of coffee because it's early for me.

Speaker 3 (43:08):
Yeah, a little pep in your stuff.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
Yeah, just a little bit, just a live bit. I
don't have a shout out, but there's amazing coffee shops
in San Diego that people can visit. More and more
popping up, which is awesome.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
I love like independent coffee shops. Yeah, like that's like
kind of my favorite thing to do now is to
visit a city and like Google, like where's the best
coffee spot, and then like and then hopefully they have
like a vegan, gluten free treat I can have.

Speaker 3 (43:38):
I was just in SF.

Speaker 2 (43:39):
Well, actually I was in the Bay Area, but I
was Ina was it. I was in Mountain View for
the Lean and Latina's conference, and I woke up early.
There was a place I walked there from where I was,
which usually in other states, not every place is walk
pedestrian friendly, but so I could. I was like right
next to the highway. The whole time, I'm like, these
people can run me over. But anyway, I did make
it to downtown mountain View nice and I hit up

(44:01):
this amazing coffee shop. The name I cannot remember, but
the coffee was bomb and they had gluten free, dairy
free treats for me. And one day one was like
a mocha amocha, amochi, Amochi amochi muffin and it was
oh and it was like a macha. It was either

(44:22):
a macha or ube, I can't remember. It was green
and purple. It was like a non you know, one
of those so it was like either ube or Macha
mochi mochi muffin. Yeah, say that ten times fast. But
it was whatever it was, I was so good. It
was like I like took the first bite and I

(44:42):
was like, wow, this is good. And I love when
they do that for us, because the tendency is to
make gluten free stuff that doesn't taste good, and it's
like that's so hurtful and insulting to people like me.
I'm like, we're not worth it for you to try
a little harder. You're just gonna give us something that
tastes like paper or like you know, sand or dirt. Right,

(45:03):
And so when someone goes out of their way to
make it delicious and like a good consistency, and it
was soft and airy and tasty and a beautiful color,
and I was like, that's somebody who cares, like they
cared for people like me, and I really appreciate.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
It, right, and they care about their craft. I would say, yeah,
you know, because I've had gluten free stuff that I'm like, bro, yeah, exactly,
even cardboard, like why would you sell this?

Speaker 3 (45:31):
Exactly?

Speaker 2 (45:32):
It's mean almost because it's like, yeah, you're advertising something,
but it's it's so not good that like it's hurtful,
like it's insulting.

Speaker 1 (45:41):
So you're never gonna buy it again. You're not gonna
recommend it, Like just do good stuff people. Yeah, Okay,
let's get back to the show. Okay, okay, Hattie.

Speaker 3 (45:59):
So we talked.

Speaker 1 (46:01):
We briefly talked about the and I'm curious, what is
the referend that you are living through right now?

Speaker 3 (46:09):
Oh gosh, that's such a good question. I don't know
that I'm going to be able to think on my
feet as quickly as i'd like to, because I'd like
to mention something that was not in the book. But
I do feel like I've lived.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
So many different as day to day. I talk about
a lot of them all the time. I'm like always like,
oh well, but you know, maybe the one that I
think is speaking to me, like in this moment is
the one that that one is is important to me
right now because I'm in this stage where the book

(46:45):
is about to go live. I've been working on it
for a while. I invested a lot in this book.
I am hoping that it's going to open more doors
for me.

Speaker 1 (46:54):
I definitely will.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
I am hopeful, you know, but it's like I don't
know what's going to happen. I'm in this like right
on the brink of something and it's either going to
be something big or it's going.

Speaker 3 (47:04):
To be a big dud, which hopefully is not a
dud and it's something you deserve it.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
But yeah, so but I have to follow my own advice,
which is, if it's meant for me, it's not going
to pass me by. Like if I'm meant to be
like this kick ass author or like this speaker that's
going to like rock your world with this message is
coming and I just got to stay ready.

Speaker 3 (47:25):
So that, I think is what I'm holding on to
for now.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
Yes, I love that look as Patti and Mahimo's.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
Yeah, exactly, that's true. And I think I like that
because it's like you could be trying to force something.

Speaker 3 (47:48):
And I learned when.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
Like tang Mal and I was like, maybe that wasn't
for me, you know, like after all that, I was like,
I don't think that was supposed to be for me.
And so now I like I try and then I'm like,
if it's met with a lot of resistance, I'm like,
you know what, I think that that is not meant
for me, and if it is, we're gonna it's gonna
kind of resurface. Especially when things like keep popping up,

(48:17):
keep popping up. I'm like, Okay, that means I think
the universe is trying to tell me something, you know,
So I like that whole because that's had so much mystery.

Speaker 3 (48:25):
And fun to life.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
Is like there's like you live in your life and
then it's like what the universe has planned for you
and the seeds that get planted and the people that
and to your life.

Speaker 3 (48:35):
And a great example is.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
Like, you know, I'm thinking about like how am I
going to get the word out for this book? And
the universe has been bringing so many people into my life,
like I didn't know you yesterday and today we're on
a pad. Not mean you, but I'm there's literally the
people that I met online and they're like you want
to come on? You know, can you want to be
a guest on my podcast? And I'm like, I didn't
know you five minutes ago, and now you're helping me

(48:58):
put this book into the world and I don't even
know your audience and who else this message is going
to touch. And that is why you can't ask how
is it going to happen. Don't worry about how you
do the work that you need to do, and it's
gonna unfold as it needs to, and you have to
trust so anyway, to me, that's like the magic of

(49:18):
what the you know, life can be quite troubling and
complex and challenging and all those things, but it has
a lot of brings a lot of magic with it too.
And I think that aspect of what the universe is
building for you is part of the magic.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
And I love that you mentioned trust because I think
I believe that if we get a seed planted of
an idea and we follow it, it like calls us
and to be like, oh this is this is it?
You know, like you writing this book and sharing about
your life because it's it's intimate. I'm like over here,

(49:53):
like I know you and about your dad's shoe store,
and you know, I know I.

Speaker 2 (49:58):
Was gonna say what was the most Was there anything
that surprised you or like anything that was like.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
Oh, I really love the stories about your dad's shoe store,
like that story of like how you were behind the
register and people would be like no magova texts, Yeah,
I mean tacks.

Speaker 3 (50:15):
I was like, and I know I already heard that
story before.

Speaker 2 (50:18):
I know, that was actually one of the most fun
chapters or like stories to tell, and it made me
cry like almost every time I read it for a while,
So I would say that was one of the more
emotional ones for some reason. And though even with the
ilitos and how he would help, you know, it was Yeah,
it's a It definitely was a good example of what

(50:40):
a business could be, yeah, and what a business could
do and how you could really be very focused on
the community and being of service, yes, and.

Speaker 1 (50:48):
Do it on your terms. That's what I loved because
it made me think a lot about how he could
have been like, no, but I have to do this
because that's you know, this is how you do the things.
But he chose to do it for the hint D
and you know, and so that brought loyalty, that brought trust.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
And he never got rich. They were like no, peros,
you know, like it wasn't quote unquote a good business model.
But that was okay because he wasn't trying to be rich.
He was just trying to make sure his family got fed.
And we had a roof over our shoulder and we
did Yeah, and that's how.

Speaker 3 (51:30):
I am now too. I'm like, I'm not. I don't
need to be a millionaire.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
I just need to you know, pay my bills on
time and maybe have a little extra money to shop
or travel.

Speaker 3 (51:38):
But you know, I don't. I don't need that much.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
And this is I think like that chapter in a
way gave the reader, or gives the reader permission to say,
you choose your own adventure. Yes, you know, it doesn't
have to be whatever success you define, it's your success
and nobody can question it, just like how you've chosen
to live your life.

Speaker 3 (51:59):
Yeah, you know, no agreeation it. Yeah, I think that's right.
I think that's such a good point.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
But it was really touching for me that read that
particular chapter because I talked a lot about like, you know,
like I had to climb the ladder, and you know
I used to come after CCD class, So you know,
it did paint a picture for sure.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
For sure, No, I could see you, I could be, like,
I could even hear like I don't know, the New
York City sounds everywhere. It was a fun one. So
I'm curious, how do so you how did you change
from the beginning to now? So from the moment you

(52:40):
made a decision to say, I am going to write
this book. This is the time, even before you joined
the accelerator, because that at that point you've already decided, right,
but even before that, from that moment to the present,
howdy now till today because tomorrow you know, like after
you go on tour, then it might change. Yeah, but

(53:02):
how are you different and how did this book change you?

Speaker 2 (53:06):
I think one, it definitely gave me permission to say
what I needed to say, Like I feel like if
I'm gonna I needed to practice what I was preaching.
So it gave me an opportunity to also be more brave.
I talk a lot about showing up for other Latinas,
and I think about like my illustrator was Latina, my

(53:27):
two editors were Latina, my PR coaches Latina, my media
managers Latina, my street team person is latin Like I
had Latinas involved my nine out of the people who
endorsed me, I had eleven people endorsed me, nine of
them were Latina. By the person who wrote my forward
is Latina. Like, so I say, yo, we got to
show for each other like this. These streets are hard,
These are some mean streets. We got to you know,

(53:49):
be there for each other. And I needed to practice that.
So it gave me an opportunity to really put into
practice the things like I was like, hey, people are
gonna look at me and they're gonna be like Ia
the kids saying all these things about Latinas and then
she had the ex filling the blank editor or fill
in the blank whatever, and I was like, all my
decisions were very deliberate, very important too, Like I was like,

(54:14):
I want a Latina editor period.

Speaker 3 (54:17):
I also feel like.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
I am an expert in the lived experience of walking
in the body of a Latina and a woman of color,
and I have fully stepped into that. Like I'm like no,
like anybody else is gonna be like but no, but no,
but nothing, this is I am the expert. So and
I really wanted to write something where no one could
question me, you know, And I'm like, what is the

(54:43):
thing that I can talk about that no one could
be like, Oh no, it's not like that, or oh
you know, like it's nuanced. No, it's not nuanced, it's
not nothing. It's this is how it is, period punto.
I don't want anybody questioning me on it, and so
I felt like I'm glad I picked. That's why this
topic was really important to me too. And I feel
like I have a lot of I feel a lot

(55:04):
more like an expert in this and also like it
helped me listen also, so now when I meet other
Latinas and like they say things that I talk about
in the book, I'm like, nailed it, nailed it, Like
I'm like, yup.

Speaker 3 (55:20):
When I'm in it, I don't even get mad.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
I'm like this is perfect because this is exactly what
I talk about, So I know what I'm talking about.
It affirms for me so much that what I said
is true. And then like you know, like even today,
someone posted something on LinkedIn. When I was in at
the Leaning Latina's conference, I hosted a workshop and it
was called Networking for Heifas and one of the questions

(55:42):
I had was like what refrang adico o consejo do
you lean into.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
As a leader?

Speaker 2 (55:49):
And you know, so it's like a different way of
looking at the world, right because you're like do I
do that? And it's like, yeah, I think I do.
And so someone posted about it and like gave me credit.
It was like thank you, for bringing it up, and
they said, this is not our superpower, but these are
our super words, Like this is so important, and like
people were commenting and like they're like, I love this,
this is great, and this is my favorite refran. And
every time I talk about refran Is, it's like everybody's

(56:10):
a closet referan lover, because people will remember that they
do love referans and that they remember like a thier
Abuela or somebody in their family talking about refrans.

Speaker 3 (56:21):
So I feel so that that's really affirming too that.

Speaker 2 (56:27):
I used referanez as like I grounded us and refranez
and I'm so glad I did, because I feel like
that is very relatable totally.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
We've all heard. I mean, this is why we close
Cava Compam with a quota mantra, which is a referen Yeah.
For ten the last nine years, we've been talking about
this because it's it's something that is so familiar to us.
We hear all the time.

Speaker 3 (56:51):
Exactly, that's that's that's right.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
And the thing is that I think it's almost, I
don't want to say too familiar, but it's something that
we probably don't even notice all the time, and That's
why I think, like when I asked that question, everybody
was like huh and then they're like, oh, well, now
that you now that you mention it, I think I
actually do have something to say about that. I think
I do have a refront that has shaped me.

Speaker 3 (57:13):
So yeah, I love that.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
So Hettie, tell us all the places and spaces where
we can find you, where we can find the book,
where we can get it. Okay, by the time this
is released, it will still be on pre order. Yeah,
super important for people to pre order the book right.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
So you can learn more about the book at Kayadita
No More dot com. And if you're not sure how
to spell that or that feels overwhelming, just go to
body Speaking Body Speaking LC dot com. That's like my website,
or you could just go to my LinkedIn, so I
would say LinkedIn bodly speaking LC dot com, Kayadita no More.

(57:48):
And then if you like and you're on Instagram, I'm
Kayadita No More book on Instagram, so you can find
me there too, and we.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
Have it all the links in the show notes. So excellent,
you don't have to frantically try to remember. Okay, last
few questions, you have a quarter mantra that or your
friend that you want to leave us with. We've already
talked about it, but is there another one?

Speaker 3 (58:11):
Yeah, I think it's such a good one.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
Mommy always used to say that about the friends. But
I feel like my crew that I roll with, and
like I look at the list of women that endorse
my book and I'm like, wh yes, we're warrior women.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
Yes, yes, yes, And it makes me think of another
one that's kind of like ties into that. Because like
to bring it back to hanging out with people that
are doing things, as they say, you're the average of
the five people you hang out with.

Speaker 3 (58:47):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
Choose your people wisely.

Speaker 2 (58:50):
Yeah, a level up, you know, to try to pick
pick people that are doing that are people you aspire
to be like, because I think that really helps.

Speaker 1 (58:58):
Indeed, indeed, what remedy you want to share with.

Speaker 2 (59:01):
This, So it's a role. I know it's a kind
of a weird remedial, but like that was my father's
answer to everything. Because I've always had stomach issues. I
write in the book that I'm gluten free, dairy free.

Speaker 3 (59:14):
I also share in the book that I'm an anxious person,
which Pam, I hope you could relate to because I
feel like you're pretty open about your my anxiety. Yeah,
you're like you talk about I love everything that you share,
and I think you modeled good behavior for me. I
was like, oh, let me just say it.

Speaker 2 (59:30):
It's like not that serious, but like I am an
anxious person and I've always had stomach issues and so
like whenever I had like tummy aches when I was little,
my father's like, get a kick, dare I got arac lechen?
I was like, And then come to find out that
I'm lactose intolerant. So the whole time I was adding milk.
Oh my, that's a different story. I don't remember ever

(59:52):
feeling more sick after having it, so I might have
gotten lactose intolerant later.

Speaker 3 (59:55):
Yeah, but like I just remember, and.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
That's my father didn't cook, so that was the only
thing he made he knew how to make, was this adult.
Maybe he learned how to make coffee later, but like
he didn't do much around the house because he was
always working, but he knew.

Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
This ado co lichen was his thing. And I would
say co licha like that was like he was the
official ato concha guy. And I was probably the one
that had it the most. I was the baby of
the family too, so probably contributed to it too.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
Yeah, I'm sure it did. Yeah did he put sugar, cinnamon?

Speaker 3 (01:00:24):
No salt. It's a it's a savory thing. It's not
a sweet thing.

Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
We make it sweet, and Mexico would make that. I
was going too sweet.

Speaker 3 (01:00:33):
There is an ato co lichen that is sweet, that
is like a portrait like a dessert. But this was
more like.

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
And it was like a rice soup. Yeah, it's like
a rice soup and it's actually it's quite it's quite tasty.

Speaker 3 (01:00:49):
I've made it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
I made it since like once when I was like
grown and I was like, yo, that shit helped me
back in the day.

Speaker 3 (01:00:56):
Let me see if it fixes me now.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
But it's not the same with like and based milk,
because you know, cow milk is so much more rich
and thick, so the consistency is definitely different. Taste is different.
But it's just literally rice milk and salt and you
and you basically get the rice really really really soft
and then you just and you like, it's like a soup.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
How fun. I'm gonna try that. I'm a big fan
of sweet.

Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
If you google atrop Puerto Rican or something like that.
You might get it, it might come.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
Up which side note. I've said this many times, but
I was kind of mad when I went to Perto Rico.
I was in my twenties and I tasted Puerto Rican
food and I was like, why have I been twenty
years my life without this?

Speaker 3 (01:01:43):
It is good. I ain't gonna lie. It's very good.

Speaker 2 (01:01:45):
Perto Rican food is bombed. And I was just wept
so good just having been there. I ate out a
little bit, but my cousin's a really good cook. She
made some dishes that were from my childhood. Because I
don't like, I don't cook. I'm make salads at home
and stuff like that. So to have like a home
cooked rice with beans and whatever, it was very good.

Speaker 3 (01:02:08):
It was very good food. So I was really happy
about that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
Yeah, I would I remember we would stop by, like
the postos on the streets yea and.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Oh come on, pincho and.

Speaker 1 (01:02:22):
Pincho, oh my gosh. Every time we would see what,
I'd be like, we have to stop, and they'd be like,
you need to stop eating.

Speaker 3 (01:02:29):
I don't think.

Speaker 2 (01:02:29):
I don't think I've ever had that. That's not something
that I had at home, and I never had that
in the street. No, so I don't think I've ever
tasted did Yeah, bet.

Speaker 1 (01:02:40):
A from Mexico City, we there's tacos thatco stands on
the street and we call those that.

Speaker 3 (01:02:47):
Because you never know, you know, Listen.

Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
I lived in Bolivia for two years and I made
the mistake of in my first ten days there, I
had a drink that's and that was literally in a
pail and I remember and she was selling it like
in the mercado and me, my host, mom, can I
drink that?

Speaker 3 (01:03:11):
Yeah? Occ so you know it's clean. I got so sick.
That was my first time getting.

Speaker 2 (01:03:20):
Parasites parasitos jobs almost the whole time that I was there,
because it's everywhere, a lot of there's a lot of
food contamination there.

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
I had to limit my intake of fruit and vegetables
a lot when I was there because it was pervasive everywhere.

Speaker 1 (01:03:36):
Yeah, and you know, like people that live there, do
you build the stomach for it?

Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
Yeah, exactly, it's different. I remember I have fish with
a friend of mine, like a whole year later. I
was with my Bolivian friend and her family and it
was like a Sunday after church and they're like, oh, fish, And.

Speaker 3 (01:03:53):
I was like, can I eat that?

Speaker 2 (01:03:55):
Because I always like I gotta trust them because I
don't know, and like I was like eat eat, you
know nothing.

Speaker 3 (01:04:04):
Yeah, so I said.

Speaker 2 (01:04:06):
The old see because they all were eating it. And
then I got mad sick and I was like, hey,
by the way, I'm like, you know, you know, don't
recommend that.

Speaker 3 (01:04:18):
And she was like, wow, you might.

Speaker 2 (01:04:19):
You must have a sense of the stomach. I'm like, yeah, girl,
you already knew that part, Like, of course I have
a sense. I've been happening made by since I got here.

Speaker 3 (01:04:26):
Oh my god, it was horrible. That's that really wrecked
my stomach.

Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
Man, Yeah, no, it's it's it's a thing. But I
went on the last question, so I want to switch
it up. So usually it's what per activity, tip trick
or tool you want to share, but I'm going to
switch it up to what tip, trick or tool has
helped you speak up loud more, speak up more.

Speaker 2 (01:04:54):
Wow, that's a good question. I knew you were going
to ask me good question. I was already ready to
answer that other one. I think it has to do
with being afraid and doing it anyway. For people to
know that sometimes the fears it just does. It never
goes away, like you might get a little bit more brave,
but it's not like you're because every situation is different.

(01:05:16):
Sometimes people welcome your input, sometimes they don't. Sometimes you're
in a space where you are literally the only one
that's a latina and or a woman, or the combination
of the two, and so some places are a little
bit more scary than others. But so I would say,
but the fear is kind of always there.

Speaker 3 (01:05:34):
You just never know how people are going to receive it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:36):
You know, I've had I've been blessed with having allies
that will back me up and you know, like be like,
I think that's a great idea.

Speaker 3 (01:05:44):
I love Hattie's idea. Let's do something like that. I've
had that happen to me.

Speaker 2 (01:05:47):
But more often than not, you know, people just say okay,
you know, thanks for your input, and they move on
to something else, and I'm glad I said it. Anyway,
it's good to practice practice speaking even when you're scared,
because there's going to come a moment when what you
say could really change a situation. And so you got

(01:06:08):
to keep building that muscle so that when your voice
and what you have to say really matters. You're going
to be in the position to speak out, Like, don't
let that be the first time you speak out, because
you might be too.

Speaker 3 (01:06:20):
Chicken to say it. So just keep practicing.

Speaker 2 (01:06:23):
Do it with people that you know are going to
support you, do it with people that maybe are not
going to be supportive.

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:06:31):
I remember I had a manager, and I talk about
this in the book. He was like, you're very disruptive.

Speaker 2 (01:06:36):
You know he would he would, He called me that,
and he dinged me on my like review and allegedly
that was one of the reasons why I wasn't, you know,
moving sort of advancing in that organization, was because I
was too disruptive. And when I asked for like examples,
he was like, well, you're like you you you asked
us like, you know, if you needed to come to

(01:06:57):
a meeting, or if if like the meeting needed to
be at that time because you know, maybe people were
picking up children in school.

Speaker 3 (01:07:06):
I advocate for a mother, and I'm not a mother,
but I will advocate for mother and be like, hey,
isn't that like meal time? Isn't that like dinner time
for families? Could I could get on the phone whenever,
and I will bring my dinner with me. Listen, if
you schedule a call at ive thirty, you best believe
I'm gonna have food in my mouth. But other people
want to be with their families, or they're preparing meals,
or they're picking up kids, or they're you know, dropping
off kids or whatever. I always advocate for anybody, and

(01:07:29):
I remember being called disruptive, but that that didn't make
me stop. I was like, y'all claim that this is
a safe space. Y'all are always inviting questions and points
of views and saying that, okays, anybody have any concerns,
So don't say that, and then ding me you can't.
It can't be both. That doesn't like.

Speaker 2 (01:07:47):
That's a those are competing things. Yeah, so I said
it anyway, and I was like, I don't care like
you call me whatever you want. I feel like I
need to advocate for myself and for maybe people on
the team that I'm not even here right now.

Speaker 3 (01:08:02):
And I did nice, and that helped me to be
be used to speaking.

Speaker 2 (01:08:07):
Out when it mattered more because there were other circumstances
where it mattered a lot more.

Speaker 3 (01:08:11):
That's those were trivial things in the scheme of things.

Speaker 2 (01:08:13):
It wasn't a big deal practice, but I had practice
and I had like developed that skill set so I
could be more brave when it really was required.

Speaker 1 (01:08:21):
I love that. Well, Hetty Mande, thank you so much
for coming to Kakam.

Speaker 3 (01:08:25):
I loved it. Thank you for having me. This is
a dream come true. I just want you to know that.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:08:32):
Thank you for being a listener.

Speaker 3 (01:08:34):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:08:34):
You were a sponsor. Also, yeah, you've always supported us,
so of course.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
Yeah, I have been a listener for some time. And
I was in what do you call the other thing,
the written I got a written about over.

Speaker 3 (01:08:46):
Yeah, I got to pour over.

Speaker 2 (01:08:47):
Oh so I'm like I was like something like this,
Yeah I got I was a power over too, but
this I'm so happy that I got to be here finally.
And I loved being in conversation with you. You're one
of my favorite podcasters. Thank you for all your work.

Speaker 1 (01:08:58):
Thank you, thank you for your work for your book.
Listeners get more Everywhere awesome, Right listeners, that was our conversation.
What do you think? Definitely ordered the book. Definitely see

(01:09:20):
if you can get it in your local library. That helps.
Always support authors by pre ordering. If the book is
no longer a pre pre order, if you can order
it now, definitely do that because when I write a book,
I'm going to really push for people to pre buy it.
It's a way to let the world know that authors

(01:09:42):
like us are needed. And so I hope you had
fun during this conversation. We explored a lot of things Hatti.
Of course, it's awesome and she's been a long time
Cafaumum listener, a long time supporter. She sponsored gampum at
some point, and how is the real deal? For real?

(01:10:02):
She's the real deal. Hetty is one of those people
that she doesn't she walks the talk and I can
attest to that. So an honor to be able to
share her story. And I hope you enjoyed it as
much as I did you and I let's stay connected
at kafa Compum podcast on all thesocials gafacompum dot com
to figure out what is my next thing that you

(01:10:25):
can stay connected with me on if you feel called
to support our work. We are a small but mighty
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Sharing it it's the easiest way to support us, Share
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(01:10:45):
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(01:11:07):
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cafcopum dot com. If you are an organization, you can

(01:11:28):
hire me to speak at your company. This is something
that drives me so much because I get to share
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(01:11:50):
do a live podcast at a college. Have fun with that.
Who's gonna take me off on on it?

Speaker 3 (01:11:58):
It went on?

Speaker 1 (01:11:59):
Let me not let me know though I'm serious about that.
Thank you so much for for listening. Thank you to
our sponsors. Thank you to the team for doing all
the work that it takes to get this podcast to
your ears. Sean