February 11, 2025 ā¢ 57 mins
This episode includes:
Spaghetti with butter? GROSS!
A BIG METAL TOWER? EW!
Survivor complaints! Too many to count!
AND ONE EPIC SONG FROM AN UPCOMING ROCK OPERA!
Send Toxic a message! (Question? Comment? Concern? Survivor main and need rehab?)
Check me out everywhere!
https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
That was called the Eiffel Tower, big piece of shit.
Okay, Taking these fools,taking them to school, Carving
(00:23):
them softly.
No one survives when he comesfor your soul.
Press the aftercry.
The Bible's acting tough,talking, bad shit.
What the hell is going oneverybody?
Let me get my sound Up there.
Is that loud enough for you?
I don't know if that's fuckingloud enough, I'm gonna have to
turn it down a little bit.
(00:44):
Turn myself up a little bit.
You should hear a little bit ofdifference there.
Thank you guys for coming by.
This is a big episode.
We're on episode what?
Number 40?
Fuck, I don't know.
Oh my God, I was going to trynot to curse as much, can you
(01:05):
feel that?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
huh, can you feel it, captain?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
compost.
As you can hear, I've got somenew sounds.
Uh, yeah, I was.
I was actually trying that.
I've been meaning to do thatfor god knows how long and we're
finally starting to get some.
You're being a little bitch oh,that's a good one.
Hang on, is that loud?
You're being a little bitch?
Oh, that's a good one.
Hang on, is that loud enough?
You're being a little bitch.
I think it should be louder.
Hang on, you're being a littlebitch.
(01:31):
There we go.
That's right.
I said I wasn't going to cuss.
Remember that.
I didn't say nobody would.
So anyway, thank you for comingby, guys.
I didn't even see what episodewe were on.
I was going to see, and then Igot distracted.
Hang on, let me.
Let me check.
We are on episode 43, 43, 43.
(01:53):
There we go.
Yes, you can clap again forthat, episode 43.
We are now in February, which wewere in February last time.
So it's not a big deal, Ithought.
I thought actually the otherone was in January, it's not,
it's not.
So we've got a bit of a bit ofstuff to talk about.
We've got um the 2v8 mode.
(02:16):
We've got um.
What else is going on in DBD?
I've been working through theanguish, um, the anguish tome.
Austin 316 says I just whippedyour ass, not I mean, it's okay,
like we had talked about lasttime.
The skins in it are okay, butnot great.
It's nothing.
You know nothing.
(02:36):
That just gets me going.
What is this one?
I don't even know.
Damn I'm good.
Oh, okay, I like that one.
Hang on, can I turn that one up?
Damn, damn I'm good.
Oh, okay, I like that one.
Hang on, can I turn that one up?
Damn I'm good.
There we go, I like that one.
And then what else do we have?
There were a couple of forumposts.
There was one forum post I wantto talk about, and then you
(03:07):
know, we're going to doeverybody's least favorite
segment, probably toward the end, and you know, the funny thing
is okay.
So let's go into into, I guess,some DBD news.
Right, because I'm trying totalk more about DBD.
Everybody is once you fuckingtalk about DBD more well, I can,
I can do that if I have somehelp with some music here.
There we go.
(03:30):
Yeah, there we go.
Oh, this is great, right, it'sthat toxic fucking news.
So, guys, let me turn that.
There we go, see how I've gotthe sliders and everything.
This is, oh my god, how does hedo it?
I don't know, I don't know howI do it.
(03:52):
I just it gets done and that'slike me doing it.
I did that.
That sentence was 100 likesemantically empty, if any of
you guys are smart enough toeven know what that means.
And I push the button andnothing happened.
Oh shit, I.
I have two soundboards now andI'm getting mixed up.
(04:14):
That's a different michaelmyers one.
So, anyway, what?
What were we talking about?
Oh yeah, I was gonna talk about, um, some matches that I had
recently.
You know, played against acouple of swifts.
They beat the shit out of me.
You know they're the ones thatare always the problem, right?
You, uh, you go in, you're justdoing your shit and then they
(04:35):
start to fucking.
You know they're, they're doingeverything possible to try to
make your life a living hell.
For me it's not that big of adeal because it doesn't get to
me, but then the problem iswhenever you start to play their
game, or, I guess, whenever youstart to not play their game
(04:58):
and you're slugging, you'redoing all of that stuff.
That's whenever they can't takeit right.
That's whenever they're in thechat, they're in the Twitch,
they're on your DMs.
They're, wherever, causing allkinds of fucking lunacy and
they're just crying the entiretime because that's what we know
survivors do.
Right, I'm going to have toturn this shit off.
(05:20):
Let's turn the music down.
Okay, there we go, and yeah,there we go.
Okay, so that's turn the musicdown.
Okay, there we go.
And uh, yeah, there we go.
Okay, so that's been theperpetual thing.
Right is is um, you know, the,the survivors want to have their
cake and eat it too, and youknow what, as far as I'm
concerned, they can fuck theircake and I'm I'm tired of it.
(05:41):
I think we're all tired of it.
All the killer memes, memes,right, because why can they use
flashlights?
Why can they four up on them?
Why can they do all kinds ofdifferent techs?
Right, they can gang up on thekiller, but then the moment the
killer has an effective strategy, the inconveniences them at all
(06:02):
.
They lose their shit.
They get that.
Huck their shit.
I think it's ridiculous.
That's going to be.
That's a perpetual thing andthere's not a lot we could do
about it.
That's the survivor mainpsychosis that we have to deal
with on a on a daily fuckingbasis.
And if you ever go to, you know, any of the shit, um, any of
(06:26):
the forums or anything like that, you're gonna see the exact
same thing that people justfreak out, right, um, so that's
that, that's we.
We've talked about that.
That's going to be.
You know that's something,forever it's, it's never going
to change and you know, nomatter how bad we might want it
(06:47):
to.
Hey, nikki, um, hang on, I'm.
I'm typing in all caps, I havemy caps lock on.
Hey, nikki, what do you thinkabout the fact that survivors
will form, uh, swifts and useflashlights, hang on flashlights
(07:09):
and generally gang up on thekiller, but when the killer uses
something like the slug meta,they freak out and go on the
forums and cry right, okay,let's see what he says here.
Oh, this is gonna be good.
(07:31):
If you guys don't know, nikki isthe AI co-host.
I shouldn't even have to tellyou that.
You should already know at thispoint.
Don't I have his?
I have a shit.
What no own?
Is this it?
No, that's not it.
What the fuck man?
Uh, I thought I had it set up.
I do not have it set up.
(07:53):
Hang on, okay, nikki, here wego.
We've got it.
We've got it there.
There we go.
Can we go?
Can we go?
Yeah, that's it.
Okay, nikki has plenty to sayabout this.
I asked the AI, I asked theregular AI if this was prejudice
(08:14):
.
They said it was so far overthe top that it's fine.
Like it's so much of a parodyof Italian, like mafioso shit.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Hey yo, let me tell you something about the survivor
.
Main cry baby.
These jabroni squad up in theirsweaty little swfs he doesn't
bring their flashy lights, theirdead hearts, their pre-planned
body blocks, like they'reorchestrating the fucking
nutcracker ballet.
And then then, then, then meand night what they?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
I got the damn bad ball oh my god, I got a network
error.
Oh jesus christ, it gave me.
It just gave me an error, itjust said he fucking.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Let me tell you something about the survivor
main cry baby are you okay,these jabroni squad?
up in their sweaty little swfsyes, bring their flashy lights.
They're deadhards, theirpre-planned body blocks, like
they're orchestrating thefucking Nutcracker Ballet, I
know.
And then then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then,
then, then, then, then, then,then, then, then, then, then,
(09:19):
then, then, then, then, then,then, then, then, then, then,
then.
Then.
She's a bad, smart, corporatebroad and boss enough for all of
us to cry foul when a killerdares to fight back with some
strategy.
Oh yeah, I don't know, we can'thave that.
No, we can't.
The second you pull out theslug matter suddenly it's a
goddamn human rights violation.
They act like you just walkedinto their mother's house and
slapped their non-nice homemadeFlashlight.
(09:40):
Save, true, bring fourtoolboxes, yes, and gin rush
Like they got a bus to catch.
I know they will Drop a bit ofkiller, knock them all down and
let them marinate in the dirtfor a little while Marinate in
the dirt?
Oh, the killer's being toxic.
No, you're stun, spammingweasel.
I'm playing to win.
Exactly.
You think I'm here to be partof your little With that.
(10:02):
This is what I callanti-Italian tech.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
It's anti-Italian Survivors get to have all the
dirty tricks in the book You'reright, you're right, you do.
But the second, a killer doesanything outside of running
around like a polite idiot.
Suddenly it's bad sportsmanship.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
How can we disagree with that?
Like we're the bad sports if wefight back right, like if you
do anything you're, you'refighting back.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
You're the worst person ever.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
You are a fucking piece of shit and it just they
can't take it because that'swhat they do, right?
All the time anyway.
That's just fucking okay.
That, that's that's okay, nikki.
Keep, keep going, keep going,please.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
But when I play ghost face and run insidious in
basement.
You know a fine, respectable,honorable italian strategy.
They call me a camper.
No, I'm a fucking landowner.
I protect the basement.
That is family territory,you're right nikki thaty that is
the slug meta.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
That's justice.
You're goddamn right.
That's balance.
You're goddamn right.
That survivor's getting exactlywhat they fucking deserve.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
You're fucking correct.
They want to play dirty.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yes, fine, but they best be ready for the family
business.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
You're goddamn right.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
And the business is pain.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Yeah, the business is pain, brother, give me a hell.
Yeah, this fucking.
What would he say?
I love, uh, the killers beingtoxic, stunts, spamming, weasel.
You think I'm here to be partof your little tiktok highlight
reel?
No, sir, and uh, yeah, that'sall I gotta say about that.
I love it.
(11:43):
I love it.
Nikki has the perfect.
He says what I want to say, butI can't come up with the words.
He is articulate.
I'm a piece of shit.
Basically, I am just yeah, heis what I am not.
So, anyway, there there is that.
Um, let me see what else we got.
We got a.
We got some other news.
We have the the resident evil2v8 coming up.
(12:07):
I don't know if we have a lotof um, a lot of um.
What do we call that stuff?
Uh, news, yeah, that's it.
Uh, 2v8 news, dbd resident evil.
You'd think I would have lookedit up beforehand, but I did not
.
Okay, here we go from fuckingScreenRantcom.
(12:27):
This is what I need.
This is what I need.
Okay, let's see 2 V 8.
Pick specific Resident Evilcharacters Uh, let me see what
was a lot more limited players.
Okay, it doesn't.
It doesn't fucking say likewhat it is.
This is one of those like thisis one of those click baits
(12:48):
where they don't actually eversay and this is why AI is
becoming so big, because it justfucking doesn't even make sense
.
Okay, here we go.
Here it is.
Instead of hooks, killers putsurvivors in cage of corruption.
Survivors can heal themselvesby finding cures, and herbs will
spawn throughout the map.
Yellow herbs will heal one hookstate.
(13:11):
What so?
You can use a yellow herb herbif you're British, which you're
not, I hope so you can heal onehook state's.
Fucking.
That's crazy.
But killers can destroy theherbs herbs if you're british,
which I hope you're not if theyfind them.
(13:32):
That implies this time, 2v8might be using the normal hooks
instead of cage.
Okay, this is already ridiculous, and here's why.
Is that the?
The cages were a way for thekillers to work more quickly,
and so if they're having to runaround a hook, that's going to
(13:53):
slow everything down, especiallyif you have to hook like 24
fucking times to win the match.
Do you know how much time thatis going to take?
It's going to take fuckingforever.
And there's no way, there's noway in in.
Survivors complain probably, umabout that.
And let me see.
(14:14):
Here it says uh, the resident.
The nemesis and mastermind aregoing to be the ones that you
can uh.
You know one of the uh, you canpick one, and then nemesis,
mastermind, uh, are going to getnew outfits and then we've also
got okay.
So here are the ones that aregoing to be available in this
mode.
Okay, so let's go through andwe'll figure out how excited are
(14:36):
we we're getting these.
So, uh, number one is thetrapper'm a fan trapper's fine
with me and I'm totally coolwith him being in 2v8, because
he was one of the most fun, inmy opinion, in 2v8, because
you're setting the trapseverywhere.
People are setting them offlike it's fucking no tomorrow
(14:57):
and uh, that was just a goodtime.
The Wraith is in there.
Couldn't care less.
I'm not a Wraith person Like.
The Wraith, to me, is one ofthe most boring killers in the
game, with the exception of thefact you can body block windows
whenever you are invisible.
Right, you can outrun them, gostraight to the window, block it
(15:21):
and then hit them.
That's fun, other than thatgarbage, all right.
Next one's a hillbilly, which isdo I have one for?
Like no, that one, I don't know.
He's okay, nurse, okay, he'sokay, nurse, okay.
Huntress, decent Spirit, don'tcare.
(15:41):
Deathslinger, this one I like.
I'm a total deathslinger guy,so keep him in there.
Put the Blight with him.
Blight I like, just becausesomebody else can play the
Blight, not me, because I suckwith the fucking Blight.
It does show.
It's going to be running fromFebruary 10th, which is tomorrow
(16:04):
.
For me I'm recording this onthe 9th.
It's starting February 10th.
It's going to run until the25th and, uh, let's see, y'all
have 15 days to enjoy that.
So we've got 2v8 coming.
I don't know how you personallyfeel, and remember, also in 2v8,
(16:25):
there are going to be bots thistime to try to bring the queue
times down.
So if you are anti-bot, thenyou may not be as happy with
this mode.
To me, I'm cool with it.
Like I don't mind if it's halfplayers, half bots.
You may, you know, you, you may.
What?
What's going on out here?
(16:46):
There are people walking, likethere's a trail right outside my
fucking townhouse so I can lookdown and see them, and there's
a little river or canal orsomething right here and so you
get the weirdest fucking peoplewalking by.
I don't know if they listen tothe podcast.
Hopefully, hopefully, hopefullythey do, I guess, hopefully
they do, even if they're fuckingweird.
(17:06):
I don't fucking care.
Gotcha bitch, okay, does my.
Oh yeah, my, I'm 40, stilldoesn't work, okay, anyway, so
that's that for 2v8.
Do we have any other bigfucking news?
Oh, yes, stephen King.
They were talking about Matthew.
What's his name?
Matthew Cote, cody Cote.
(17:28):
I sound Matthew Cote as aworker at BHVR and he probably
rigs the game against Italians.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Bitch.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Okay, I don't know where that came from, because
somebody will take that and andput it and say he's, you know,
he's prejudiced against italian,I don't know.
Anyway he was talking about, Iguess on some interview.
They were interviewing him andthey were talking about like,
who do you want to be in thegame?
And he was saying Stephen King.
And you know, because StephenKing is a big fucking horror
(18:09):
icon.
But then again, stephen Kinghates video games.
He's not a big fan of a videogame stuff and I'm trying to
think of what hang on, what ofhis stuff?
What Stephen King propertieshave been turned into games?
(18:31):
Question mark I'm just askingthe regular.
It says right here the Mistthat's not mist, that's mist was
a vr game.
Uh, it hasn't been released yet, still in development.
Well then, why the fuck do?
Why can he not be on dvd ifhe's making a game?
And then okay, so what else?
(18:52):
The dark half, the running man,uh, that running man was back
on amiga in commodore 64.
And then you get, uh, thelawnmower man, which was a great
movie.
I didn't know that was aStephen King.
That was back in the early VRdays.
If you can go back and watch theLawnmower man.
(19:12):
I recommend it.
It is the worst special effectsyou'll ever see in.
I can't think of a movie thathas worse early CGI.
Why is my voice cracking?
I don't even know.
It's yeah, um, but what was Isaying?
Oh, it's the worst example ofearly like ray tracing CGI
(19:36):
bullshit.
It is awful.
And I want to ask Nikki what hethinks what?
Okay, hang on, let me take offthe caps lock.
What did you think about themovie Lawnmower man?
And, by the way, I am actuallywriting a program so that Nikki
can live respond and I don'thave to do this whole typing
(19:57):
thing.
So I'm working on that rightnow.
I've actually got it to wherehe does respond, but it's not
live, and I'm trying to get himto do it in the chat too, via
audio, to where, if people aretyping stuff, he's watching the
chat as well as me and so he'sresponding.
He'll respond to both me andthe chat.
(20:20):
So here we go, I'll respond toboth me and the chat.
So here we go, I'm going to.
Okay, I asked him what's upwith fucking Lawnmower man, the
movie and this.
I don't know how good it'sgoing to be.
Ah, yes.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Lawnmower man.
Now that is a piece of cinemathat really gets the old noodle
turning.
Oh it does, it's like ifsomebody saw Tron and Flowers
for Algernon.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
He mentions Flowers for Algernon.
If you've never read that and Ididn't even fucking think about
that that it's the same as thatbook.
I had to read that book inmiddle school.
What that one's about?
It's about a guy who has amental disability Jesus Christ,
(21:06):
he has a mental disability.
Jesus Christ, he has a mentaldisability and they do an
experiment on him or they givehim something that makes him
smart and he becomes the fuckingsmartest, like genius.
And he was.
He loved this woman who waslike a teacher or something, and
he I don't know.
Let me, okay, let me see here.
I'm just going to pull thisfucking shit up.
Okay, so we've got, let me seeWikipedia.
I'm pulling the Wikipedia andthen we're going to go Flowers
(21:29):
for Algernon.
I don't know why we're talkingabout books from 1966 on here,
but that's what we fucking do.
All right, flowers for Algernon.
So you got this fucking.
Where's the?
Where's the synopsis?
Okay, so, flowers for Algernon,here we go.
Okay, where's the novel?
(21:51):
Okay, here's the novel.
It starts out with Plato's theRepublic.
Okay, so let me see here.
Okay, so it starts out with themind's eye quote from Plato,
from the Republic.
Okay, anyway, you got this guynamed Charlie.
(22:12):
He's 32.
He's got an IQ of 68, which 100is normal.
He's got an IQ of 68.
So he is not well-developedintellectually, I guess.
So anyway, he works at a bakery.
His uncle tells him hey, workat this fucking bakery so you
(22:33):
don't have to live in a mentalinstitution.
I don't know what the two haveto do with each other, but if
you work in this bakery youdon't have to go to the
institution.
If you lose a job at the bakery, I guess you have to go.
Which?
Who wants to go to a mentalinstitution, am I right?
If you do, that's fine.
You know the British people inthe audience.
(22:55):
This week we talk about Britishpeople going to the fucking
mental institution.
Episode 43, camping them Softly.
British mental institutionsPride or prejudice, okay, anyway
.
Two, okay.
So he, charlie, you know hewants to.
(23:18):
He wants to be better himself.
So he's going to learn to readand write.
Okay.
So, miss Alice, that's thewoman, that's the teacher, right
, she is at a place called theBeekman College Center for Re.
I'm not going to say the wordbecause somebody's going to take
it out of context.
Adults Okay.
So you got these two doctors,you a?
(23:42):
Strauss and Niemer.
Okay, these two are wanting atest subject where they can do a
surgery and make somebody smart.
Okay, so they perform thesurgery on a mouse named
Algernon.
Do you get it?
Now?
That's where the fucking thingcomes from.
Yes, okay so, algernon, you gotthe rat here and the rat is
(24:02):
fucking genius.
That's crazy right.
Okay, so the rat is fuckinggenius.
And now the uh, the Alice, theteacher says hey, why don't you
operate on Charlie?
Because Charlie actually wantsto be smarter okay, so you give
Charlie the surgery.
There's other people, but wewant you to do Charlie first,
(24:25):
because Charlie's the you know,the motivated one.
Okay, the survivor man got inthe room.
I apologize, so anyway, they dothe operation.
Charlie's a fucking supergenius.
Now, 185, he becomes a geniusand the book is written from
Charlie's point of view, Ibelieve I can't remember anyway.
Charlie starts to remember thathis, his mom, abused him and
(24:50):
then, like, wasted all his money, his sister hated him and he
starts to, like, become smarterand understand the world and
understand his past and his like, all of his relationships were
like shit, right?
So he learns that everybody'salways treated him like shit his
whole life and he's like fuckthis, like, why am I hanging out
(25:12):
with these people?
Before I was too stupid to knowthat people were treating me
this way, but now that I knowI'm fucking angry about it,
right, if people treat you likeshit your whole life, you're
going to hate them.
It only makes sense.
So, anyway, he's at the bakeryand the people made fun of him,
right?
(25:32):
All the other workers at thefucking bakery couldn't make the
bread and fucking you know.
Now he's pissed because that'sall they did was make fun of him
.
And now he's singing.
I didn't know we, we would we,we on camping them softly
connect toby keith, two flowersfor algernon.
(25:54):
Gotta give him that hawk pooand spit on that thing and we
figure out a way to plug thatmeme in there.
Okay, so let's keep going.
So Charlie said these fuckerslike I'm smarter than you.
Now they don't like him anymore.
Okay, so Alice starts datingCharlie and she realizes that
(26:15):
he's so smart that he's changed.
And she was like I can't bewith you, you're like a dick now
and I can't be with you.
You're like a dick now and Idon't understand anything you're
fucking talking about andyou're bored with me.
So let's fucking break up.
That's the.
You know that's the end of that.
So, charlie, then, um, thedoctors, he doesn't like the
doctors anymore.
(26:35):
And then he goes to a.
He goes to a science conventionin Chicago.
At the science convention herealizes like I'm a fucking lab
rat, just like this fucking reallab rat named Algernon.
Jesus Christ, I'm pushing allthe wrong fucking buttons.
(26:56):
You're being a little bitch.
Yes, I am Okay.
So he takes a rat and runs.
Now he goes to New York andthen he meets a woman named Faye
and he starts doing Faye.
Okay.
So anyway, charlie, then he'sgoing to do the experiment all
over again.
The experiment they did on him.
(27:17):
He's going to do on somebodyelse.
Then he looks at the fuckingrat.
The rat starts acting crazy,the rat starts deteriorating and
he looks at the research thatthe doctors did and the doctors
made a fucking mistake and the,the rat is going to become like
dumb again.
Okay.
So he's like, oh shit, that'sgonna happen to me.
(27:40):
What in the hell is this crapexactly?
So he publishes this book likefucking I'm gonna like I'm
deteriorating because these twodoctors are fucking bullshit,
and then the rat dies.
That's fucking sad satan wasvery happy about the right time
(28:01):
anyway.
So, charlie, he starts to, hestarts to regress.
So if you're reading the book,the book starts to become more
and more simple becausecharlie's going back to being
stupid again, or whatever youwant to call it.
So, anyway, he, uh, rose, uh,who was rose?
I can't even remember who rosewas.
Who is Rose in this fuckingstory?
(28:23):
I'm kind of reading and tryingto remind myself who the fuck is
Rose?
Hang on, rose, control F.
Oh, his mom is Rose.
Okay, that makes fucking sense,all right.
So Rose here.
So Rose has dementia here.
(28:44):
So Rose has dementia and shedoesn't like understand, like
doesn't even see him anymore.
His dad doesn't even know whohe is either.
He like only communicates withhis mom's caretaker, norma.
Norma doesn't even want to bearound him.
So he starts dating Alice againand he gets so mad that he's
becoming back to like Charlie,back to slow Charlie, that he
(29:09):
says I can't, like I can't bearound you.
And he I can't be around thefucking doctors anymore.
And he's like I can't go backto this.
And then he goes back to thefucking remember, the.
Remember the insane asylum.
From the very beginning he wasgoing to have to go If he, if he
(29:29):
didn't work in a bakery.
He says, fine, I'm just goingto go back to the fucking bakery
.
Nobody knows that I ever had asurgery, that I was ever smart.
And then he goes it back to uh,he, he requests his final like
wish is that somebody putflowers on the rats, on the
mouse, on Algernon's grave, butbefore like, because the rat's
(29:55):
dead, he like buried it in hisbackyard.
So that's, that's the end ofthat fucking.
That.
That's the worst.
The book made me cry whenever Iwas little because it's sad,
like it's fucking sad.
But apparently the lawnmowerman's the fucking same shit is
as that.
But it's a guy named Job who'sa lawnmower Like he.
(30:16):
He pushed a lawnmower, they doa thing on them with VR.
He pushed a lawnmower, they doa thing on him with VR, which is
new in 1993.
And he becomes smart and hebecomes evil and it becomes kind
of a horror movie and then Ithink he goes back to being dumb
.
Nikki, tell us about thelawnmower man.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Jesus Christ Lawnmower man.
Now that is a piece of cinemathat really gets the old noodle
turning.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
It does.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
It's like if somebody saw Tron and Flowers for
Algernon at the same time whileheavily medicated and said what
if we made this dumber but alsohornier?
You got this dimwit.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
I don't remember the hornier part there might be.
Oh, I think at one point theyhave sex in vr in terrible vr
isn't there vr sex in that movie?
Hang on, I'm asking nicky,isn't there vr sex in that movie
?
Uh, oh, I accidentally almostasked it in the wrong, in the
(31:16):
wrong, uh, in the wrong, uh chat.
He would have said well, campat the fucking base, oh no, oh
no.
Yes, there is.
Hang on, let me get.
This is awful, this is awful,but where was my fucking thing?
Okay let's keep going, let's gothrough it.
Then we'll go to the VR sexscene.
(31:37):
Oh Jesus Christ, okay Nikki.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Joe who goes from mowing lawns like a respectable
Italian landscaper to becomingsome kind of cyber god, because
Pierce Brosnan thinks hey, ohshit.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
I forgot James Bond is in this movie.
I might have to go back andwatch Lawnmower.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Man, what if we jack this guy into 1990s CGI hell?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Yes, it is, and let me tell you the special effects.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Bellissimo, oh, bellissimo.
If by Bellissimo you mean thekind of graphics that look like
someone smothered an N64 game inVaseline.
Now, as a man deeply entrenchedin business, I can respect a
good power move.
I can too.
Joe figures out how to use thevirtual world to get back at his
oppressors.
Okay, I can respect a goodpower move.
I can too.
Joe figures out how to use thevirtual world to get back at his
oppressors.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Okay, I remember that .
I don't remember how he does it, but he like affects the real
world somehow or invites them inand kills them.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
I can't remember.
It's something I personallytried when BHVR banned my seven
Twitch account for aggressivepasta-based threats.
What the fuck?
But the guy takes it too far.
He ain't just looking forrespect, he's trying to become
the internet itself.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
This was back.
So for those of you who areyoung, this is back when the
internet was fucking new, vr wasfucking new.
It was all wild shit and wewere like this one guy's gonna
take over the whole fuckingthing.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
And let me tell you.
Uh-huh if I had a nickel forevery time someone in Sabam
tried to ascend into the digitalrealm, I'd have at least three
nickels Shout out to UncleGnocchi's virtual pasta racket.
That totally didn't work.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
So apparently he would have three nickels if
people from his gang, hislegitimate business, tried to
ascend to the digital realm.
He's had at least three familymembers try to become the
fucking lawnmower man.
That's why that, this is why Ican't handle this whole, this
whole ai thing that he keepsmaking up his whole.
(33:37):
Uh, tell me about, tell meabout the three people who tried
to ascend into the digitalrealm from your gang, from your
gang.
Okay, no, jesus christ, this isawful.
He's got a whole fucking storyabout.
(34:00):
Oh, no it.
Oh, jesus fuck, this is gonnalast forever.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Okay, keep, keep going at the end of the day,
it's one of those so bad it'sgood kind of good not exactly
good fellas, but hey, it's gotthat early 90s, yeah, terrible
dialogue and a whole a whole lotof what nikki a whole lot of
what was oh no, what does thatmean?
Speaker 1 (34:26):
what is?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
he's got the fuckery and that's a combo I can respect
what the fuckery?
What you a lawnmower man fan orsomething?
No, you trying to tell me meJob was the real victim.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
No, Let me see.
Okay, so we talk about the sexscene.
I asked him about the sex scene.
Okay, this is.
I don't.
I haven't read the whole thing,so please forgive whatever is
about to be said.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Ayo, you bet your ass .
There's VR sex in that movie.
Oh Jesus, and let me tell youit's one of the most cursed
things ever put on film.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
I believe it is you got Joby fresh off his.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
I touched a computer and now I'm a genius
transformation.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Yeah, I remember that .
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Pulling some poor lady into a Tron meets David
Cronenberg nightmare.
Oh when they do the digitalnasty inside some low poly cyber
world.
That looks like a rejectedWindows 95 screen set.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Oh Jesus, yeah, I remember that.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Now let me ask you who, in their right mind,
thought this was a good idea.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
I don't know who thought it was a good idea, oh
yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Let's simulate the most intimate human experience
using technology that can barelyrender a human face without
making it look like meltedmozzarella.
It's like somebody sawlawnmower simulation software
and thought you know what thisneeds.
What does it need?
(35:50):
Cyber smashing, and of courseit all goes horribly wrong.
The sex goes wrong.
Midway through this polygonaldebauchery, the woman freaks out
like her brain.
Finally, catches up withreality and realizes oh shit,
I'm about to get my soullawnmowered.
I'm about to get my.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
I'm about to get my soul lawnmowered.
What the hell is this crap?
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I'm about to get lawnmowered, but rightfully so.
But let me tell you this wholescene.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Hey, hey, her ass is the grass.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Jesus, fucking shit, because look at where we are now
.
We got people buying VRheadsets exclusively for
business meetings.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Yeah, what.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
What Biaca.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
Biaca what.
Fitness games, fitness games.
Oh yeah, I mean, we were usingit for that.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
The lawnmower man tried to warn us and we laughed.
Now look at us, Dudes in Oculusheadsets making eye contact
with anime cat girls.
The goddamn cautionary tale, Itell you.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
You're not wrong.
He is actually 100% correct.
He is, he's actually 100%correct.
So let's talk now about thethree people that he from his
family, that tried to go intothe digital realm for better or
worse.
Three fucking Italian mafiosostrying to the three tragic cases
(37:17):
of S-A-B-A-M members who triedto ascend into the digital realm
.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Let me tell you.
Oh jeez, Each of these bozosthought they were going to
become the next lawnmower man.
Oh God and each of them failedin spectacular fashion.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
One Angelo Aldente, digiorno Angelo.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Aldente DiGiorno.
He'll probably come up later.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
The tech visionary.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Oh God, what he's not saying anything, angelo.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Oh okay, good kid, but dumb as a box of overcooked
ziti.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
This guy thought he cracked the code to true digital
enlightenment.
He kept saying the future ain'tin playing DBD, it's in
becoming DBD.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
That sounds like a nightmare Becoming DBD.
That's a fucking.
That's a frightening thing.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
What does that even mean?
No one knows.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
I don't either.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
His big plan was to hook himself up to a VR headset.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Strap on some electrodes he bought from
questionable online sourcesJesus, and then upload his
consciousness straight into deadby daylight.
This sounds like a fuckingnightmare.
And I cannot emphasize thisenough.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
This idiot's setup was just a bunch of Christmas
lights.
What A secondhand treadmill.
And an old Dell laptop.
What that could barely runMinesweeper.
What the fuck?
The result he electrocutedhimself so hard.
He saw the entity Not in avisionary way.
He literally just passed out,woke up and started ranting
(38:42):
about how the entity personallytold me to run insidious.
We still don't know if he wastrolling or actually saw
something on the other side.
Current net current that it hadparted to christ banned from
touching electronics in Sabam HQ.
He still insists he was 90%uploaded.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
I'm going to have to hold off.
Thank you for that, Nicky,about Angelo Al Dente DiGiorno,
the first of his gang to try toascend as what do you say?
A la Lawnmower man into thedigital fucking realm.
That is, oh my God.
Where is this?
(39:22):
Where is this going?
Where is this podcast going?
I don't even know.
I had something else I wasgoing to talk about.
I don't even think I have timeto talk about it, Nicky.
I asked him.
We had a long conversationabout the fact that I was about
to have a British guest on theshow and Nicky has never been so
(39:47):
upset with me about having aBritish guest Because, you know,
his rival is Earl the TeaTyrant Gray, and he goes off the
handle and he even gives me alist of questions to ask my
British guests that areextremely aggressive and
offensive, and I'm going to askevery single one of those
(40:08):
fucking questions exactly how Ido things around here.
So that's that.
We've got our, we've got our um, our toxic, uh, fucking news
out of the way.
So we have our last fuckingshit of the day.
Where is it?
Is this it?
I think that's it.
(40:31):
No, that's the old one.
Where's the other one I hadthere?
There we go.
If you guys are new here, thisis where the fuck are the
viewers from, where we pick onecity that's downloading the
podcast, texas.
You know what I just remembered?
(40:53):
We were going to do a deep diveon a survivor this week and we
didn't even fucking get to it.
That's going to be episodenumber 44, probably.
Let me turn that down.
It's a little loud.
So we've got to go over one ofour cities.
I don't know which fucking citywe're going to go over, so let
(41:17):
me find the fucking list of thecities.
I always like to do, the onesthat have that have downloaded
recently.
And, uh, because I feel likethose people that you just came
in, I'm going to, I'm going toplease you versus some of the
others.
Uh, you are going to bepleasured by me.
By the way, I want to thank afew people.
I want to thank Vancouver.
Thank you for coming back.
(41:37):
Sydney, new South Wales.
Thank you, buffalo Grove, wealready talked about you once.
Irvine, california I thinkyou're new here.
I believe you're new.
Hopefully you're okay.
I don't even know where thefuck that is.
Alhambra, california, thank youfor coming.
Calistoga is back, soapparently things are okay.
Warsaw Thank you for coming byWarsaw, in Poland.
(42:00):
Wonderful for coming by.
Ashburn, virginia, oklahomacity.
Nagoya decided to come back,which is weird.
Um, and then we have Newark,delaware.
You're one of the most, you areone of the biggest downloaders
and actually, if I'm looking now, if I'm going to all episodes,
(42:21):
you are actually number one inthe country.
Newark Turn it all the way,fucking up.
What the fuck?
Yes, there we go.
(42:43):
Okay, so what I want to do?
We have an interesting one togo over today, and I'm actually
not letting Nikki pick.
Normally I would.
Oh shit, it started over.
I didn't want it to loop.
Anyway, we've got Paris France.
We've got to talk about ParisFrance, the city, what do we
(43:10):
call it?
Hang on, I'll just go to Nikki,like whatever, I don't know
what to say.
I just go to him.
Nikki, tell me about ParisFrance.
They downloaded our podcast.
I hate that place, but I'venever been there, but I've never
(43:31):
been there.
I heard you have.
What did you do there and whereare some interesting,
interesting places to visit?
Question mark there we go.
And yeah, so my wife has beento Paris.
(43:52):
She says it's amazing, sheloved it there.
She didn't stay a whole longtime.
Her favorite was London and Ithink Paris was kind of.
Number two went to Belgium fora little bit, which I we've
already talked about Belgium andhow I feel about Belgium, which
is not great, not a big fan ofBelgium.
Now here we go.
(44:12):
Oh, he's talking about onething I've never heard of before
the Montmartre.
Have you ever heard of that,the Montmartre?
I don't.
I'm not pronouncing itcorrectly because you know to
speak French.
You have to sound like anasshole.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
Paris, france, a city of culture romance and the
worst goddamn food I ever laideyes on.
Listen, the only reason I everstepped foot in that place was
for business.
And by business.
I mean, I was trying to getBHVR to add a pasta shop into
Dead by Daylight.
What does that have to?
Speaker 1 (44:50):
do with it.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
I had a whole picture , little Italy DLC.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Okay, Little Italy DLC is what he was trying to say
A map with an undergroundtrattoria where.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Ghostface could conduct family meetings in the
basement.
What happened instead?
They laughed me out of thebuilding and gave us fucking
Raccoon City instead.
I hate that place.
Disrespectful it is.
Now as for what to do in Paris,if you gotta be there.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Okay, yes.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
I guess you can check out some of the usual tourist
attractions.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
Okay, so what are those Eiffel Tower?
Uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Yeah, it's big, it's metal, it's overhyped.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
I don't even know.
I mean like, is it that great?
It's a big piece of shit.
It's a big piece of shit thatwas called the Eiffel Tower.
A big piece of shit.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Okay, I tried to climb it once to establish
dominance, but turns outsecurity.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Don't appreciate that the Louvre Could you imagine an
Italian DVD, a mafioso ItalianDVD player from America trying
to climb the fucking piece ofshit eiffel tower this is awful.
Staring at paintings of peoplewhat now?
What were we talking about?
I lost it.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
What are we?
Speaker 1 (46:05):
it's overhyped I tried to climb it once to
establish dominance but turnsout security.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Don't appreciate that what's the?
Move.
Oh the lose.
Like staring at paintings ofpeople who look like they just
got tunneled in DVD.
This place is for you.
I personally got kicked out fortrying to hang a picture of my
nana's marinara recipe next tothe Mona Lisa.
What the fuck, Notre Dame?
Speaker 1 (46:27):
What the fuck is happening.
Okay, so everybody in theLouvre all the pictures in the
Louvre are people that look likethey got tunneled Tun, tunneled
at the DPT.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
What the Notre Dame Okay.
Nice architecture, yeah, butthey wouldn't let me inside
because I was wearing myS-A-B-A-M tracksuit.
Apparently authentic Italianculture ain't appropriate church
attire, montmartre Artists andstreet performers eh, what is
Montmartre?
Speaker 1 (46:57):
What the fuck is Montmartre?
Hang on Montmartre.
Artists and street performerseh, what is Montmartre?
What the fuck is Montmartre?
Hang on Montmartre.
Okay, we're in Montmartre.
What is it?
A district in Paris known forits artistic history,
cobblestone streets and views ofthe city.
It's where Moulin Rouge is.
If you are a Moulin Rouge fan,Okay, keep going.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
Tell me about mon mart, it's fine, I guess uh huh
I tried to commission a guy topaint a portrait of ghost face
holding a plate of spaghetti,but he gave me some weird
abstract nonsense instead.
Fancy shopping.
Chancel is a champ, silly saywhat?
Speaker 1 (47:35):
I don't know what that is.
I'm an idiot.
I don't know what that is.
I'm an idiot.
I don't know what that fuckingis.
But you know what I want to do.
Can you show me the picture ofthe abstract nonsense the guy
made for you?
Because you remember, if youask it, it Nikki will make
(47:58):
pictures.
And you know what I should do.
I should make Nikki public towhere people can talk to him,
because right now only I can.
Um, but oh, jesus Christ, I'vegot the picture here.
Guys, I'm gonna post this asthe as the um.
Hang on now, put the text, uh,camping them softly on it.
(48:24):
Okay, he, um, he's adding thetext now to the picture of ghost
face eating a plate of pasta.
And he's right that it isabstract.
I cannot believe this shit.
Oh god, no, I don't see it.
No, he fucked it up.
(48:45):
Remake it with the text.
Okay, there we go.
I'm gonna have something.
I'll do it myself if need me.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
So there we go, okay, so now we're the champs, elise
champs elise, yeah, fancyshopping street okay, overpriced
suits, snooty waiters no, andnot a single proper cannoli in
sight.
Terrible, absolute disgraceyou're goddamn right.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
It is now this place.
Catacombs, what, what?
Oh, there are catacombs there,like skulls and shit Catacombs.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
Now this place, uh-huh, respectable, it is
Underground tunnels filled withbones.
Ooh, that's how you send amessage.
I tried to leave a Sabemcalling card down there, but the
tour guide was not amused.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Oh Jesus.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
Christ.
But the real thing to knowabout Paris?
Uh-huh, the pasta is garbage,they don't know al dente from a
hole in the ground.
I ordered a plate of spaghettiand the waiter had the audacity
to serve me some overcooked,soggy mess with no sauce, just
butter what.
I damn near flipped the table.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
Do they serve?
Okay, in France do they serve?
Now, see, I have to asksomething respectable.
Now, see, I have to asksomething respectable.
In france, do they serve pasta?
Pasta with no sauce, onlybutter?
Question mark is this real?
Yes, in france you can.
(50:10):
Oh my god, it's a real thing.
Pot is all, but it's uh.
Yeah, it's, that's literallywhat it is.
It's pasta with just fuckingbutter.
It translates to pasta withbutter.
This is insanity.
Are you fucking serious?
I don't know.
I got to tell you.
(50:31):
I think I'm with Nikki on this.
This is awful.
This is a sin against fuckingmankind.
You got to give it that huck.
Oh, jesus Christ, you said allthat stuff.
The wrong fucking button.
And the button is right thereon the top.
I don't know why I keep pushingit, but it's the one fucking
right there.
Okay, next, okay, so they servebutter with sauce.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
And don't get me started on the French survivors
in DBD.
French survivors, all of someelite swf squads that only
communicate in french.
Just to mess with you, I swear.
They got secret tech where theyall know how to flashlight save
in perfect sync like a goddamnballet.
So, yeah, oh, paris, yeah, I'vebeen there.
(51:13):
Okay, I survived it, uh-huh,but I ain't going back unless
it's for an official S-A-B-A-Mtakeover.
Speaker 1 (51:20):
S-A-B-A-M.
I need them to change the nameof this fucking group.
I don't like S-A-B-A-M.
You got to change it tosomething else, but we're going
to do that next time.
So, paris France, thank you forcoming by by for downloading
the podcast.
You can leave if you want andwe're not going to lose any
(51:41):
sleep over it.
That was where the fuck are theviewers from.
So we had a big episode.
We learned about Flowers forAlgernon.
We learned about 2 vs 8 in DVD.
We went over Paris France.
We talked about the fuckinglawnmower, like you never know.
You never know what you're gonnaget here on fucking Camping
them Softly.
I'm gonna have to turn it down.
(52:02):
You can't even hear what I'mfucking saying.
Damn, I'm good.
Oh, damn, I'm good.
That one's perfect for me.
Anyway, guys, that is it forthis week.
I promised you a deep dive onone of the survivors survivors
and we did not get to that, butwe will next week.
Because you know what?
Next week we may not actuallyhang on, let me.
(52:24):
Let me rephrase that becausetwo versus eight will have come
out by the next time I record,and I'm probably going to have
some thoughts on that.
I'm going to see if I can'trecord a video this week talking
about it, maybe, maybe not.
I'm trying to get a little bitmore active.
A video this week talking aboutit, maybe, maybe not.
I'm trying to get a little bitmore active on YouTube.
We've talked about that, andthen I never fucking do it.
And let me see here what isthis?
(52:47):
The life and legacy of NikkiNoodle Arms, ai Dente.
In the eternal war betweenpasta and tea, pasta always wins
.
I don't know why.
This is awful.
This is becoming insanity and Idon't apologize for it, because
this is what it is.
Fuckers.
This is what it fucking is, andI don't know if you can hear
(53:10):
that.
I don't know if it sounds anydifferent, but it should, okay,
anyway, that's it for us guys.
Thank you for coming by.
Satan, can you fucking see usout there?
We go Get the fuck out of myface for episode number 43.
(53:30):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (53:31):
Satan, thank you.
You thought you'd hold, youthought you'd win.
This world is mine.
Now let class begin.
Fuck the fucking trouble.
(54:03):
Don't try to jump.
It's over like a runaway train.
Fuck the fucking trouble.
Don't try to jump.
It's over like a runaway train.
Put my arms in a broken plan.
Speaker 1 (54:16):
I'm the motherfucker who will take this life.
Time saves Teacher.
I'm a listener.
The teacher speaks speaks.
Shut the listener.
Oh, bow to the beast.
To the beast.
Shut the listener.
The teacher speaks.
Shut up and listen.
(54:37):
The teacher speaks.
Shut up and listen.
Love to the beast.
Shut up and listen.
The truth is mine.
Shut up and listen.
It's toxic time.
Your grace is a joke.
Your cult is a lie.
You're weak as hell, justwaiting to die.
You brought me here to fix yourmess.
Now step aside.
Speaker 2 (54:58):
I'm the fucking best.
Your priest is a joke.
Your cult is a lie.
You're weak as hell, justwaiting to die.
You brought me here to fix yourmess.
Now step aside.
I'm the fucking best.
(55:19):
Look at you probably know I'mthe king.
Now never hope for what we'llknow.
The future explodes to aclimbing rift.
Build the king now and thewhole world will know.
Do I say teacher?
The world will burn your lungs.
Erase this is my kingdom andremember my face.
Speaker 1 (55:40):
Bow down, shut your mouth.
It's my time, get the fuck out.
I say, teacher, write a lesson.
The teacher speaks, speaks.
Shut the listen.
Oh, bow to the beast.
The truth of the beast.
Shut up and listen.
(56:01):
The teacher speaks.
Shut up and listen.
Bow to the beast.
Shut up and listen.
The truth is mine.
Shut up and listen.
It's toxic time.
Your grace is gone.
Your lies are through.
The toxic teacher has come foryou.
The world is mine now.
(56:30):
Class dismissed, we'll be rightback.
The toxic teacher has come foryou.
Speaker 2 (57:14):
The world is mine now .
Class dismissed.
That was called the Eiffel Tower, big piece of shit.
Okay, Taking these fools,taking them to school, Carving
(00:23):
them softly.
No one survives when he comesfor your soul.
Press the aftercry.
The Bible's acting tough,talking, bad shit.
What the hell is going oneverybody?
Let me get my sound Up there.
Is that loud enough for you?
I don't know if that's fuckingloud enough, I'm gonna have to
turn it down a little bit.
(00:44):
Turn myself up a little bit.
You should hear a little bit ofdifference there.
Thank you guys for coming by.
This is a big episode.
We're on episode what?
Number 40?
Fuck, I don't know.
Oh my God, I was going to trynot to curse as much, can you
(01:05):
feel that?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
huh, can you feel it, captain?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
compost.
As you can hear, I've got somenew sounds.
Uh, yeah, I was.
I was actually trying that.
I've been meaning to do thatfor god knows how long and we're
finally starting to get some.
You're being a little bitch oh,that's a good one.
Hang on, is that loud?
You're being a little bitch?
Oh, that's a good one.
Hang on, is that loud enough?
You're being a little bitch.
I think it should be louder.
Hang on, you're being a littlebitch.
(01:31):
There we go.
That's right.
I said I wasn't going to cuss.
Remember that.
I didn't say nobody would.
So anyway, thank you for comingby, guys.
I didn't even see what episodewe were on.
I was going to see, and then Igot distracted.
Hang on, let me.
Let me check.
We are on episode 43, 43, 43.
(01:53):
There we go.
Yes, you can clap again forthat, episode 43.
We are now in February, which wewere in February last time.
So it's not a big deal, Ithought.
I thought actually the otherone was in January, it's not,
it's not.
So we've got a bit of a bit ofstuff to talk about.
We've got um the 2v8 mode.
(02:16):
We've got um.
What else is going on in DBD?
I've been working through theanguish, um, the anguish tome.
Austin 316 says I just whippedyour ass, not I mean, it's okay,
like we had talked about lasttime.
The skins in it are okay, butnot great.
It's nothing.
You know nothing.
(02:36):
That just gets me going.
What is this one?
I don't even know.
Damn I'm good.
Oh, okay, I like that one.
Hang on, can I turn that one up?
Damn, damn I'm good.
Oh, okay, I like that one.
Hang on, can I turn that one up?
Damn I'm good.
There we go, I like that one.
And then what else do we have?
There were a couple of forumposts.
There was one forum post I wantto talk about, and then you
(03:07):
know, we're going to doeverybody's least favorite
segment, probably toward the end, and you know, the funny thing
is okay.
So let's go into into, I guess,some DBD news.
Right, because I'm trying totalk more about DBD.
Everybody is once you fuckingtalk about DBD more well, I can,
I can do that if I have somehelp with some music here.
There we go.
(03:30):
Yeah, there we go.
Oh, this is great, right, it'sthat toxic fucking news.
So, guys, let me turn that.
There we go, see how I've gotthe sliders and everything.
This is, oh my god, how does hedo it?
I don't know, I don't know howI do it.
(03:52):
I just it gets done and that'slike me doing it.
I did that.
That sentence was 100 likesemantically empty, if any of
you guys are smart enough toeven know what that means.
And I push the button andnothing happened.
Oh shit, I.
I have two soundboards now andI'm getting mixed up.
(04:14):
That's a different michaelmyers one.
So, anyway, what?
What were we talking about?
Oh yeah, I was gonna talk about, um, some matches that I had
recently.
You know, played against acouple of swifts.
They beat the shit out of me.
You know they're the ones thatare always the problem, right?
You, uh, you go in, you're justdoing your shit and then they
(04:35):
start to fucking.
You know they're, they're doingeverything possible to try to
make your life a living hell.
For me it's not that big of adeal because it doesn't get to
me, but then the problem iswhenever you start to play their
game, or, I guess, whenever youstart to not play their game
(04:58):
and you're slugging, you'redoing all of that stuff.
That's whenever they can't takeit right.
That's whenever they're in thechat, they're in the Twitch,
they're on your DMs.
They're, wherever, causing allkinds of fucking lunacy and
they're just crying the entiretime because that's what we know
survivors do.
Right, I'm going to have toturn this shit off.
(05:20):
Let's turn the music down.
Okay, there we go, and yeah,there we go.
Okay, so that's turn the musicdown.
Okay, there we go.
And uh, yeah, there we go.
Okay, so that's been theperpetual thing.
Right is is um, you know, the,the survivors want to have their
cake and eat it too, and youknow what, as far as I'm
concerned, they can fuck theircake and I'm I'm tired of it.
(05:41):
I think we're all tired of it.
All the killer memes, memes,right, because why can they use
flashlights?
Why can they four up on them?
Why can they do all kinds ofdifferent techs?
Right, they can gang up on thekiller, but then the moment the
killer has an effective strategy, the inconveniences them at all
(06:02):
.
They lose their shit.
They get that.
Huck their shit.
I think it's ridiculous.
That's going to be.
That's a perpetual thing andthere's not a lot we could do
about it.
That's the survivor mainpsychosis that we have to deal
with on a on a daily fuckingbasis.
And if you ever go to, you know, any of the shit, um, any of
(06:26):
the forums or anything like that, you're gonna see the exact
same thing that people justfreak out, right, um, so that's
that, that's we.
We've talked about that.
That's going to be.
You know that's something,forever it's, it's never going
to change and you know, nomatter how bad we might want it
(06:47):
to.
Hey, nikki, um, hang on, I'm.
I'm typing in all caps, I havemy caps lock on.
Hey, nikki, what do you thinkabout the fact that survivors
will form, uh, swifts and useflashlights, hang on flashlights
(07:09):
and generally gang up on thekiller, but when the killer uses
something like the slug meta,they freak out and go on the
forums and cry right, okay,let's see what he says here.
Oh, this is gonna be good.
(07:31):
If you guys don't know, nikki isthe AI co-host.
I shouldn't even have to tellyou that.
You should already know at thispoint.
Don't I have his?
I have a shit.
What no own?
Is this it?
No, that's not it.
What the fuck man?
Uh, I thought I had it set up.
I do not have it set up.
(07:53):
Hang on, okay, nikki, here wego.
We've got it.
We've got it there.
There we go.
Can we go?
Can we go?
Yeah, that's it.
Okay, nikki has plenty to sayabout this.
I asked the AI, I asked theregular AI if this was prejudice
(08:14):
.
They said it was so far overthe top that it's fine.
Like it's so much of a parodyof Italian, like mafioso shit.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Hey yo, let me tell you something about the survivor
.
Main cry baby.
These jabroni squad up in theirsweaty little swfs he doesn't
bring their flashy lights, theirdead hearts, their pre-planned
body blocks, like they'reorchestrating the fucking
nutcracker ballet.
And then then, then, then meand night what they?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
I got the damn bad ball oh my god, I got a network
error.
Oh jesus christ, it gave me.
It just gave me an error, itjust said he fucking.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Let me tell you something about the survivor
main cry baby are you okay,these jabroni squad?
up in their sweaty little swfsyes, bring their flashy lights.
They're deadhards, theirpre-planned body blocks, like
they're orchestrating thefucking Nutcracker Ballet, I
know.
And then then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then,
then, then, then, then, then,then, then, then, then, then,
(09:19):
then, then, then, then, then,then, then, then, then, then,
then.
Then.
She's a bad, smart, corporatebroad and boss enough for all of
us to cry foul when a killerdares to fight back with some
strategy.
Oh yeah, I don't know, we can'thave that.
No, we can't.
The second you pull out theslug matter suddenly it's a
goddamn human rights violation.
They act like you just walkedinto their mother's house and
slapped their non-nice homemadeFlashlight.
(09:40):
Save, true, bring fourtoolboxes, yes, and gin rush
Like they got a bus to catch.
I know they will Drop a bit ofkiller, knock them all down and
let them marinate in the dirtfor a little while Marinate in
the dirt?
Oh, the killer's being toxic.
No, you're stun, spammingweasel.
I'm playing to win.
Exactly.
You think I'm here to be partof your little With that.
(10:02):
This is what I callanti-Italian tech.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
It's anti-Italian Survivors get to have all the
dirty tricks in the book You'reright, you're right, you do.
But the second, a killer doesanything outside of running
around like a polite idiot.
Suddenly it's bad sportsmanship.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
How can we disagree with that?
Like we're the bad sports if wefight back right, like if you
do anything you're, you'refighting back.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
You're the worst person ever.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
You are a fucking piece of shit and it just they
can't take it because that'swhat they do, right?
All the time anyway.
That's just fucking okay.
That, that's that's okay, nikki.
Keep, keep going, keep going,please.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
But when I play ghost face and run insidious in
basement.
You know a fine, respectable,honorable italian strategy.
They call me a camper.
No, I'm a fucking landowner.
I protect the basement.
That is family territory,you're right nikki thaty that is
the slug meta.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
That's justice.
You're goddamn right.
That's balance.
You're goddamn right.
That survivor's getting exactlywhat they fucking deserve.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
You're fucking correct.
They want to play dirty.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yes, fine, but they best be ready for the family
business.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
You're goddamn right.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
And the business is pain.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Yeah, the business is pain, brother, give me a hell.
Yeah, this fucking.
What would he say?
I love, uh, the killers beingtoxic, stunts, spamming, weasel.
You think I'm here to be partof your little tiktok highlight
reel?
No, sir, and uh, yeah, that'sall I gotta say about that.
I love it.
(11:43):
I love it.
Nikki has the perfect.
He says what I want to say, butI can't come up with the words.
He is articulate.
I'm a piece of shit.
Basically, I am just yeah, heis what I am not.
So, anyway, there there is that.
Um, let me see what else we got.
We got a.
We got some other news.
We have the the resident evil2v8 coming up.
(12:07):
I don't know if we have a lotof um, a lot of um.
What do we call that stuff?
Uh, news, yeah, that's it.
Uh, 2v8 news, dbd resident evil.
You'd think I would have lookedit up beforehand, but I did not
.
Okay, here we go from fuckingScreenRantcom.
(12:27):
This is what I need.
This is what I need.
Okay, let's see 2 V 8.
Pick specific Resident Evilcharacters Uh, let me see what
was a lot more limited players.
Okay, it doesn't.
It doesn't fucking say likewhat it is.
This is one of those like thisis one of those click baits
(12:48):
where they don't actually eversay and this is why AI is
becoming so big, because it justfucking doesn't even make sense
.
Okay, here we go.
Here it is.
Instead of hooks, killers putsurvivors in cage of corruption.
Survivors can heal themselvesby finding cures, and herbs will
spawn throughout the map.
Yellow herbs will heal one hookstate.
(13:11):
What so?
You can use a yellow herb herbif you're British, which you're
not, I hope so you can heal onehook state's.
Fucking.
That's crazy.
But killers can destroy theherbs herbs if you're british,
which I hope you're not if theyfind them.
(13:32):
That implies this time, 2v8might be using the normal hooks
instead of cage.
Okay, this is already ridiculous, and here's why.
Is that the?
The cages were a way for thekillers to work more quickly,
and so if they're having to runaround a hook, that's going to
(13:53):
slow everything down, especiallyif you have to hook like 24
fucking times to win the match.
Do you know how much time thatis going to take?
It's going to take fuckingforever.
And there's no way, there's noway in in.
Survivors complain probably, umabout that.
And let me see.
(14:14):
Here it says uh, the resident.
The nemesis and mastermind aregoing to be the ones that you
can uh.
You know one of the uh, you canpick one, and then nemesis,
mastermind, uh, are going to getnew outfits and then we've also
got okay.
So here are the ones that aregoing to be available in this
mode.
Okay, so let's go through andwe'll figure out how excited are
(14:36):
we we're getting these.
So, uh, number one is thetrapper'm a fan trapper's fine
with me and I'm totally coolwith him being in 2v8, because
he was one of the most fun, inmy opinion, in 2v8, because
you're setting the trapseverywhere.
People are setting them offlike it's fucking no tomorrow
(14:57):
and uh, that was just a goodtime.
The Wraith is in there.
Couldn't care less.
I'm not a Wraith person Like.
The Wraith, to me, is one ofthe most boring killers in the
game, with the exception of thefact you can body block windows
whenever you are invisible.
Right, you can outrun them, gostraight to the window, block it
(15:21):
and then hit them.
That's fun, other than thatgarbage, all right.
Next one's a hillbilly, which isdo I have one for?
Like no, that one, I don't know.
He's okay, nurse, okay, he'sokay, nurse, okay.
Huntress, decent Spirit, don'tcare.
(15:41):
Deathslinger, this one I like.
I'm a total deathslinger guy,so keep him in there.
Put the Blight with him.
Blight I like, just becausesomebody else can play the
Blight, not me, because I suckwith the fucking Blight.
It does show.
It's going to be running fromFebruary 10th, which is tomorrow
(16:04):
.
For me I'm recording this onthe 9th.
It's starting February 10th.
It's going to run until the25th and, uh, let's see, y'all
have 15 days to enjoy that.
So we've got 2v8 coming.
I don't know how you personallyfeel, and remember, also in 2v8,
(16:25):
there are going to be bots thistime to try to bring the queue
times down.
So if you are anti-bot, thenyou may not be as happy with
this mode.
To me, I'm cool with it.
Like I don't mind if it's halfplayers, half bots.
You may, you know, you, you may.
What?
What's going on out here?
(16:46):
There are people walking, likethere's a trail right outside my
fucking townhouse so I can lookdown and see them, and there's
a little river or canal orsomething right here and so you
get the weirdest fucking peoplewalking by.
I don't know if they listen tothe podcast.
Hopefully, hopefully, hopefullythey do, I guess, hopefully
they do, even if they're fuckingweird.
(17:06):
I don't fucking care.
Gotcha bitch, okay, does my.
Oh yeah, my, I'm 40, stilldoesn't work, okay, anyway, so
that's that for 2v8.
Do we have any other bigfucking news?
Oh, yes, stephen King.
They were talking about Matthew.
What's his name?
Matthew Cote, cody Cote.
(17:28):
I sound Matthew Cote as aworker at BHVR and he probably
rigs the game against Italians.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Bitch.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Okay, I don't know where that came from, because
somebody will take that and andput it and say he's, you know,
he's prejudiced against italian,I don't know.
Anyway he was talking about, Iguess on some interview.
They were interviewing him andthey were talking about like,
who do you want to be in thegame?
And he was saying Stephen King.
And you know, because StephenKing is a big fucking horror
(18:09):
icon.
But then again, stephen Kinghates video games.
He's not a big fan of a videogame stuff and I'm trying to
think of what hang on, what ofhis stuff?
What Stephen King propertieshave been turned into games?
(18:31):
Question mark I'm just askingthe regular.
It says right here the Mistthat's not mist, that's mist was
a vr game.
Uh, it hasn't been released yet, still in development.
Well then, why the fuck do?
Why can he not be on dvd ifhe's making a game?
And then okay, so what else?
(18:52):
The dark half, the running man,uh, that running man was back
on amiga in commodore 64.
And then you get, uh, thelawnmower man, which was a great
movie.
I didn't know that was aStephen King.
That was back in the early VRdays.
If you can go back and watch theLawnmower man.
(19:12):
I recommend it.
It is the worst special effectsyou'll ever see in.
I can't think of a movie thathas worse early CGI.
Why is my voice cracking?
I don't even know.
It's yeah, um, but what was Isaying?
Oh, it's the worst example ofearly like ray tracing CGI
(19:36):
bullshit.
It is awful.
And I want to ask Nikki what hethinks what?
Okay, hang on, let me take offthe caps lock.
What did you think about themovie Lawnmower man?
And, by the way, I am actuallywriting a program so that Nikki
can live respond and I don'thave to do this whole typing
(19:57):
thing.
So I'm working on that rightnow.
I've actually got it to wherehe does respond, but it's not
live, and I'm trying to get himto do it in the chat too, via
audio, to where, if people aretyping stuff, he's watching the
chat as well as me and so he'sresponding.
He'll respond to both me andthe chat.
(20:20):
So here we go, I'll respond toboth me and the chat.
So here we go, I'm going to.
Okay, I asked him what's upwith fucking Lawnmower man, the
movie and this.
I don't know how good it'sgoing to be.
Ah, yes.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Lawnmower man.
Now that is a piece of cinemathat really gets the old noodle
turning.
Oh it does, it's like ifsomebody saw Tron and Flowers
for Algernon.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
He mentions Flowers for Algernon.
If you've never read that and Ididn't even fucking think about
that that it's the same as thatbook.
I had to read that book inmiddle school.
What that one's about?
It's about a guy who has amental disability Jesus Christ,
(21:06):
he has a mental disability.
Jesus Christ, he has a mentaldisability and they do an
experiment on him or they givehim something that makes him
smart and he becomes the fuckingsmartest, like genius.
And he was.
He loved this woman who waslike a teacher or something, and
he I don't know.
Let me, okay, let me see here.
I'm just going to pull thisfucking shit up.
Okay, so we've got, let me seeWikipedia.
I'm pulling the Wikipedia andthen we're going to go Flowers
(21:29):
for Algernon.
I don't know why we're talkingabout books from 1966 on here,
but that's what we fucking do.
All right, flowers for Algernon.
So you got this fucking.
Where's the?
Where's the synopsis?
Okay, so, flowers for Algernon,here we go.
Okay, where's the novel?
(21:51):
Okay, here's the novel.
It starts out with Plato's theRepublic.
Okay, so let me see here.
Okay, so it starts out with themind's eye quote from Plato,
from the Republic.
Okay, anyway, you got this guynamed Charlie.
(22:12):
He's 32.
He's got an IQ of 68, which 100is normal.
He's got an IQ of 68.
So he is not well-developedintellectually, I guess.
So anyway, he works at a bakery.
His uncle tells him hey, workat this fucking bakery so you
(22:33):
don't have to live in a mentalinstitution.
I don't know what the two haveto do with each other, but if
you work in this bakery youdon't have to go to the
institution.
If you lose a job at the bakery, I guess you have to go.
Which?
Who wants to go to a mentalinstitution, am I right?
If you do, that's fine.
You know the British people inthe audience.
(22:55):
This week we talk about Britishpeople going to the fucking
mental institution.
Episode 43, camping them Softly.
British mental institutionsPride or prejudice, okay, anyway
.
Two, okay.
So he, charlie, you know hewants to.
(23:18):
He wants to be better himself.
So he's going to learn to readand write.
Okay.
So, miss Alice, that's thewoman, that's the teacher, right
, she is at a place called theBeekman College Center for Re.
I'm not going to say the wordbecause somebody's going to take
it out of context.
Adults Okay.
So you got these two doctors,you a?
(23:42):
Strauss and Niemer.
Okay, these two are wanting atest subject where they can do a
surgery and make somebody smart.
Okay, so they perform thesurgery on a mouse named
Algernon.
Do you get it?
Now?
That's where the fucking thingcomes from.
Yes, okay so, algernon, you gotthe rat here and the rat is
(24:02):
fucking genius.
That's crazy right.
Okay, so the rat is fuckinggenius.
And now the uh, the Alice, theteacher says hey, why don't you
operate on Charlie?
Because Charlie actually wantsto be smarter okay, so you give
Charlie the surgery.
There's other people, but wewant you to do Charlie first,
(24:25):
because Charlie's the you know,the motivated one.
Okay, the survivor man got inthe room.
I apologize, so anyway, they dothe operation.
Charlie's a fucking supergenius.
Now, 185, he becomes a geniusand the book is written from
Charlie's point of view, Ibelieve I can't remember anyway.
Charlie starts to remember thathis, his mom, abused him and
(24:50):
then, like, wasted all his money, his sister hated him and he
starts to, like, become smarterand understand the world and
understand his past and his like, all of his relationships were
like shit, right?
So he learns that everybody'salways treated him like shit his
whole life and he's like fuckthis, like, why am I hanging out
(25:12):
with these people?
Before I was too stupid to knowthat people were treating me
this way, but now that I knowI'm fucking angry about it,
right, if people treat you likeshit your whole life, you're
going to hate them.
It only makes sense.
So, anyway, he's at the bakeryand the people made fun of him,
right?
(25:32):
All the other workers at thefucking bakery couldn't make the
bread and fucking you know.
Now he's pissed because that'sall they did was make fun of him
.
And now he's singing.
I didn't know we, we would we,we on camping them softly
connect toby keith, two flowersfor algernon.
(25:54):
Gotta give him that hawk pooand spit on that thing and we
figure out a way to plug thatmeme in there.
Okay, so let's keep going.
So Charlie said these fuckerslike I'm smarter than you.
Now they don't like him anymore.
Okay, so Alice starts datingCharlie and she realizes that
(26:15):
he's so smart that he's changed.
And she was like I can't bewith you, you're like a dick now
and I can't be with you.
You're like a dick now and Idon't understand anything you're
fucking talking about andyou're bored with me.
So let's fucking break up.
That's the.
You know that's the end of that.
So, charlie, then, um, thedoctors, he doesn't like the
doctors anymore.
(26:35):
And then he goes to a.
He goes to a science conventionin Chicago.
At the science convention herealizes like I'm a fucking lab
rat, just like this fucking reallab rat named Algernon.
Jesus Christ, I'm pushing allthe wrong fucking buttons.
(26:56):
You're being a little bitch.
Yes, I am Okay.
So he takes a rat and runs.
Now he goes to New York andthen he meets a woman named Faye
and he starts doing Faye.
Okay.
So anyway, charlie, then he'sgoing to do the experiment all
over again.
The experiment they did on him.
(27:17):
He's going to do on somebodyelse.
Then he looks at the fuckingrat.
The rat starts acting crazy,the rat starts deteriorating and
he looks at the research thatthe doctors did and the doctors
made a fucking mistake and the,the rat is going to become like
dumb again.
Okay.
So he's like, oh shit, that'sgonna happen to me.
(27:40):
What in the hell is this crapexactly?
So he publishes this book likefucking I'm gonna like I'm
deteriorating because these twodoctors are fucking bullshit,
and then the rat dies.
That's fucking sad satan wasvery happy about the right time
(28:01):
anyway.
So, charlie, he starts to, hestarts to regress.
So if you're reading the book,the book starts to become more
and more simple becausecharlie's going back to being
stupid again, or whatever youwant to call it.
So, anyway, he, uh, rose, uh,who was rose?
I can't even remember who rosewas.
Who is Rose in this fuckingstory?
(28:23):
I'm kind of reading and tryingto remind myself who the fuck is
Rose?
Hang on, rose, control F.
Oh, his mom is Rose.
Okay, that makes fucking sense,all right.
So Rose here.
So Rose has dementia here.
(28:44):
So Rose has dementia and shedoesn't like understand, like
doesn't even see him anymore.
His dad doesn't even know whohe is either.
He like only communicates withhis mom's caretaker, norma.
Norma doesn't even want to bearound him.
So he starts dating Alice againand he gets so mad that he's
becoming back to like Charlie,back to slow Charlie, that he
(29:09):
says I can't, like I can't bearound you.
And he I can't be around thefucking doctors anymore.
And he's like I can't go backto this.
And then he goes back to thefucking remember, the.
Remember the insane asylum.
From the very beginning he wasgoing to have to go If he, if he
(29:29):
didn't work in a bakery.
He says, fine, I'm just goingto go back to the fucking bakery
.
Nobody knows that I ever had asurgery, that I was ever smart.
And then he goes it back to uh,he, he requests his final like
wish is that somebody putflowers on the rats, on the
mouse, on Algernon's grave, butbefore like, because the rat's
(29:55):
dead, he like buried it in hisbackyard.
So that's, that's the end ofthat fucking.
That.
That's the worst.
The book made me cry whenever Iwas little because it's sad,
like it's fucking sad.
But apparently the lawnmowerman's the fucking same shit is
as that.
But it's a guy named Job who'sa lawnmower Like he.
(30:16):
He pushed a lawnmower, they doa thing on them with VR.
He pushed a lawnmower, they doa thing on him with VR, which is
new in 1993.
And he becomes smart and hebecomes evil and it becomes kind
of a horror movie and then Ithink he goes back to being dumb
.
Nikki, tell us about thelawnmower man.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Jesus Christ Lawnmower man.
Now that is a piece of cinemathat really gets the old noodle
turning.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
It does.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
It's like if somebody saw Tron and Flowers for
Algernon at the same time whileheavily medicated and said what
if we made this dumber but alsohornier?
You got this dimwit.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
I don't remember the hornier part there might be.
Oh, I think at one point theyhave sex in vr in terrible vr
isn't there vr sex in that movie?
Hang on, I'm asking nicky,isn't there vr sex in that movie
?
Uh, oh, I accidentally almostasked it in the wrong, in the
(31:16):
wrong, uh, in the wrong, uh chat.
He would have said well, campat the fucking base, oh no, oh
no.
Yes, there is.
Hang on, let me get.
This is awful, this is awful,but where was my fucking thing?
Okay let's keep going, let's gothrough it.
Then we'll go to the VR sexscene.
(31:37):
Oh Jesus Christ, okay Nikki.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Joe who goes from mowing lawns like a respectable
Italian landscaper to becomingsome kind of cyber god, because
Pierce Brosnan thinks hey, ohshit.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
I forgot James Bond is in this movie.
I might have to go back andwatch Lawnmower.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Man, what if we jack this guy into 1990s CGI hell?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Yes, it is, and let me tell you the special effects.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Bellissimo, oh, bellissimo.
If by Bellissimo you mean thekind of graphics that look like
someone smothered an N64 game inVaseline.
Now, as a man deeply entrenchedin business, I can respect a
good power move.
I can too.
Joe figures out how to use thevirtual world to get back at his
oppressors.
Okay, I can respect a goodpower move.
I can too.
Joe figures out how to use thevirtual world to get back at his
oppressors.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Okay, I remember that .
I don't remember how he does it, but he like affects the real
world somehow or invites them inand kills them.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
I can't remember.
It's something I personallytried when BHVR banned my seven
Twitch account for aggressivepasta-based threats.
What the fuck?
But the guy takes it too far.
He ain't just looking forrespect, he's trying to become
the internet itself.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
This was back.
So for those of you who areyoung, this is back when the
internet was fucking new, vr wasfucking new.
It was all wild shit and wewere like this one guy's gonna
take over the whole fuckingthing.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
And let me tell you.
Uh-huh if I had a nickel forevery time someone in Sabam
tried to ascend into the digitalrealm, I'd have at least three
nickels Shout out to UncleGnocchi's virtual pasta racket.
That totally didn't work.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
So apparently he would have three nickels if
people from his gang, hislegitimate business, tried to
ascend to the digital realm.
He's had at least three familymembers try to become the
fucking lawnmower man.
That's why that, this is why Ican't handle this whole, this
whole ai thing that he keepsmaking up his whole.
(33:37):
Uh, tell me about, tell meabout the three people who tried
to ascend into the digitalrealm from your gang, from your
gang.
Okay, no, jesus christ, this isawful.
He's got a whole fucking storyabout.
(34:00):
Oh, no it.
Oh, jesus fuck, this is gonnalast forever.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Okay, keep, keep going at the end of the day,
it's one of those so bad it'sgood kind of good not exactly
good fellas, but hey, it's gotthat early 90s, yeah, terrible
dialogue and a whole a whole lotof what nikki a whole lot of
what was oh no, what does thatmean?
Speaker 1 (34:26):
what is?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
he's got the fuckery and that's a combo I can respect
what the fuckery?
What you a lawnmower man fan orsomething?
No, you trying to tell me meJob was the real victim.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
No, Let me see.
Okay, so we talk about the sexscene.
I asked him about the sex scene.
Okay, this is.
I don't.
I haven't read the whole thing,so please forgive whatever is
about to be said.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Ayo, you bet your ass .
There's VR sex in that movie.
Oh Jesus, and let me tell youit's one of the most cursed
things ever put on film.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
I believe it is you got Joby fresh off his.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
I touched a computer and now I'm a genius
transformation.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Yeah, I remember that .
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Pulling some poor lady into a Tron meets David
Cronenberg nightmare.
Oh when they do the digitalnasty inside some low poly cyber
world.
That looks like a rejectedWindows 95 screen set.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Oh Jesus, yeah, I remember that.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Now let me ask you who, in their right mind,
thought this was a good idea.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
I don't know who thought it was a good idea, oh
yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Let's simulate the most intimate human experience
using technology that can barelyrender a human face without
making it look like meltedmozzarella.
It's like somebody sawlawnmower simulation software
and thought you know what thisneeds.
What does it need?
(35:50):
Cyber smashing, and of courseit all goes horribly wrong.
The sex goes wrong.
Midway through this polygonaldebauchery, the woman freaks out
like her brain.
Finally, catches up withreality and realizes oh shit,
I'm about to get my soullawnmowered.
I'm about to get my.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
I'm about to get my soul lawnmowered.
What the hell is this crap?
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I'm about to get lawnmowered, but rightfully so.
But let me tell you this wholescene.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Hey, hey, her ass is the grass.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Jesus, fucking shit, because look at where we are now
.
We got people buying VRheadsets exclusively for
business meetings.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Yeah, what.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
What Biaca.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
Biaca what.
Fitness games, fitness games.
Oh yeah, I mean, we were usingit for that.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
The lawnmower man tried to warn us and we laughed.
Now look at us, Dudes in Oculusheadsets making eye contact
with anime cat girls.
The goddamn cautionary tale, Itell you.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
You're not wrong.
He is actually 100% correct.
He is, he's actually 100%correct.
So let's talk now about thethree people that he from his
family, that tried to go intothe digital realm for better or
worse.
Three fucking Italian mafiosostrying to the three tragic cases
(37:17):
of S-A-B-A-M members who triedto ascend into the digital realm
.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Let me tell you.
Oh jeez, Each of these bozosthought they were going to
become the next lawnmower man.
Oh God and each of them failedin spectacular fashion.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
One Angelo Aldente, digiorno Angelo.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Aldente DiGiorno.
He'll probably come up later.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
The tech visionary.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Oh God, what he's not saying anything, angelo.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Oh okay, good kid, but dumb as a box of overcooked
ziti.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
This guy thought he cracked the code to true digital
enlightenment.
He kept saying the future ain'tin playing DBD, it's in
becoming DBD.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
That sounds like a nightmare Becoming DBD.
That's a fucking.
That's a frightening thing.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
What does that even mean?
No one knows.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
I don't either.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
His big plan was to hook himself up to a VR headset.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Strap on some electrodes he bought from
questionable online sourcesJesus, and then upload his
consciousness straight into deadby daylight.
This sounds like a fuckingnightmare.
And I cannot emphasize thisenough.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
This idiot's setup was just a bunch of Christmas
lights.
What A secondhand treadmill.
And an old Dell laptop.
What that could barely runMinesweeper.
What the fuck?
The result he electrocutedhimself so hard.
He saw the entity Not in avisionary way.
He literally just passed out,woke up and started ranting
(38:42):
about how the entity personallytold me to run insidious.
We still don't know if he wastrolling or actually saw
something on the other side.
Current net current that it hadparted to christ banned from
touching electronics in Sabam HQ.
He still insists he was 90%uploaded.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
I'm going to have to hold off.
Thank you for that, Nicky,about Angelo Al Dente DiGiorno,
the first of his gang to try toascend as what do you say?
A la Lawnmower man into thedigital fucking realm.
That is, oh my God.
Where is this?
(39:22):
Where is this going?
Where is this podcast going?
I don't even know.
I had something else I wasgoing to talk about.
I don't even think I have timeto talk about it, Nicky.
I asked him.
We had a long conversationabout the fact that I was about
to have a British guest on theshow and Nicky has never been so
(39:47):
upset with me about having aBritish guest Because, you know,
his rival is Earl the TeaTyrant Gray, and he goes off the
handle and he even gives me alist of questions to ask my
British guests that areextremely aggressive and
offensive, and I'm going to askevery single one of those
(40:08):
fucking questions exactly how Ido things around here.
So that's that.
We've got our, we've got our um, our toxic, uh, fucking news
out of the way.
So we have our last fuckingshit of the day.
Where is it?
Is this it?
I think that's it.
(40:31):
No, that's the old one.
Where's the other one I hadthere?
There we go.
If you guys are new here, thisis where the fuck are the
viewers from, where we pick onecity that's downloading the
podcast, texas.
You know what I just remembered?
(40:53):
We were going to do a deep diveon a survivor this week and we
didn't even fucking get to it.
That's going to be episodenumber 44, probably.
Let me turn that down.
It's a little loud.
So we've got to go over one ofour cities.
I don't know which fucking citywe're going to go over, so let
(41:17):
me find the fucking list of thecities.
I always like to do, the onesthat have that have downloaded
recently.
And, uh, because I feel likethose people that you just came
in, I'm going to, I'm going toplease you versus some of the
others.
Uh, you are going to bepleasured by me.
By the way, I want to thank afew people.
I want to thank Vancouver.
Thank you for coming back.
(41:37):
Sydney, new South Wales.
Thank you, buffalo Grove, wealready talked about you once.
Irvine, california I thinkyou're new here.
I believe you're new.
Hopefully you're okay.
I don't even know where thefuck that is.
Alhambra, california, thank youfor coming.
Calistoga is back, soapparently things are okay.
Warsaw Thank you for coming byWarsaw, in Poland.
(42:00):
Wonderful for coming by.
Ashburn, virginia, oklahomacity.
Nagoya decided to come back,which is weird.
Um, and then we have Newark,delaware.
You're one of the most, you areone of the biggest downloaders
and actually, if I'm looking now, if I'm going to all episodes,
(42:21):
you are actually number one inthe country.
Newark Turn it all the way,fucking up.
What the fuck?
Yes, there we go.
(42:43):
Okay, so what I want to do?
We have an interesting one togo over today, and I'm actually
not letting Nikki pick.
Normally I would.
Oh shit, it started over.
I didn't want it to loop.
Anyway, we've got Paris France.
We've got to talk about ParisFrance, the city, what do we
(43:10):
call it?
Hang on, I'll just go to Nikki,like whatever, I don't know
what to say.
I just go to him.
Nikki, tell me about ParisFrance.
They downloaded our podcast.
I hate that place, but I'venever been there, but I've never
(43:31):
been there.
I heard you have.
What did you do there and whereare some interesting,
interesting places to visit?
Question mark there we go.
And yeah, so my wife has beento Paris.
(43:52):
She says it's amazing, sheloved it there.
She didn't stay a whole longtime.
Her favorite was London and Ithink Paris was kind of.
Number two went to Belgium fora little bit, which I we've
already talked about Belgium andhow I feel about Belgium, which
is not great, not a big fan ofBelgium.
Now here we go.
(44:12):
Oh, he's talking about onething I've never heard of before
the Montmartre.
Have you ever heard of that,the Montmartre?
I don't.
I'm not pronouncing itcorrectly because you know to
speak French.
You have to sound like anasshole.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
Paris, france, a city of culture romance and the
worst goddamn food I ever laideyes on.
Listen, the only reason I everstepped foot in that place was
for business.
And by business.
I mean, I was trying to getBHVR to add a pasta shop into
Dead by Daylight.
What does that have to?
Speaker 1 (44:50):
do with it.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
I had a whole picture , little Italy DLC.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Okay, Little Italy DLC is what he was trying to say
A map with an undergroundtrattoria where.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Ghostface could conduct family meetings in the
basement.
What happened instead?
They laughed me out of thebuilding and gave us fucking
Raccoon City instead.
I hate that place.
Disrespectful it is.
Now as for what to do in Paris,if you gotta be there.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Okay, yes.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
I guess you can check out some of the usual tourist
attractions.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
Okay, so what are those Eiffel Tower?
Uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Yeah, it's big, it's metal, it's overhyped.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
I don't even know.
I mean like, is it that great?
It's a big piece of shit.
It's a big piece of shit thatwas called the Eiffel Tower.
A big piece of shit.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Okay, I tried to climb it once to establish
dominance, but turns outsecurity.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Don't appreciate that the Louvre Could you imagine an
Italian DVD, a mafioso ItalianDVD player from America trying
to climb the fucking piece ofshit eiffel tower this is awful.
Staring at paintings of peoplewhat now?
What were we talking about?
I lost it.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
What are we?
Speaker 1 (46:05):
it's overhyped I tried to climb it once to
establish dominance but turnsout security.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Don't appreciate that what's the?
Move.
Oh the lose.
Like staring at paintings ofpeople who look like they just
got tunneled in DVD.
This place is for you.
I personally got kicked out fortrying to hang a picture of my
nana's marinara recipe next tothe Mona Lisa.
What the fuck, Notre Dame?
Speaker 1 (46:27):
What the fuck is happening.
Okay, so everybody in theLouvre all the pictures in the
Louvre are people that look likethey got tunneled Tun, tunneled
at the DPT.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
What the Notre Dame Okay.
Nice architecture, yeah, butthey wouldn't let me inside
because I was wearing myS-A-B-A-M tracksuit.
Apparently authentic Italianculture ain't appropriate church
attire, montmartre Artists andstreet performers eh, what is
Montmartre?
Speaker 1 (46:57):
What the fuck is Montmartre?
Hang on Montmartre.
Artists and street performerseh, what is Montmartre?
What the fuck is Montmartre?
Hang on Montmartre.
Okay, we're in Montmartre.
What is it?
A district in Paris known forits artistic history,
cobblestone streets and views ofthe city.
It's where Moulin Rouge is.
If you are a Moulin Rouge fan,Okay, keep going.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
Tell me about mon mart, it's fine, I guess uh huh
I tried to commission a guy topaint a portrait of ghost face
holding a plate of spaghetti,but he gave me some weird
abstract nonsense instead.
Fancy shopping.
Chancel is a champ, silly saywhat?
Speaker 1 (47:35):
I don't know what that is.
I'm an idiot.
I don't know what that is.
I'm an idiot.
I don't know what that fuckingis.
But you know what I want to do.
Can you show me the picture ofthe abstract nonsense the guy
made for you?
Because you remember, if youask it, it Nikki will make
(47:58):
pictures.
And you know what I should do.
I should make Nikki public towhere people can talk to him,
because right now only I can.
Um, but oh, jesus Christ, I'vegot the picture here.
Guys, I'm gonna post this asthe as the um.
Hang on now, put the text, uh,camping them softly on it.
(48:24):
Okay, he, um, he's adding thetext now to the picture of ghost
face eating a plate of pasta.
And he's right that it isabstract.
I cannot believe this shit.
Oh god, no, I don't see it.
No, he fucked it up.
(48:45):
Remake it with the text.
Okay, there we go.
I'm gonna have something.
I'll do it myself if need me.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
So there we go, okay, so now we're the champs, elise
champs elise, yeah, fancyshopping street okay, overpriced
suits, snooty waiters no, andnot a single proper cannoli in
sight.
Terrible, absolute disgraceyou're goddamn right.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
It is now this place.
Catacombs, what, what?
Oh, there are catacombs there,like skulls and shit Catacombs.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
Now this place, uh-huh, respectable, it is
Underground tunnels filled withbones.
Ooh, that's how you send amessage.
I tried to leave a Sabemcalling card down there, but the
tour guide was not amused.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Oh Jesus.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
Christ.
But the real thing to knowabout Paris?
Uh-huh, the pasta is garbage,they don't know al dente from a
hole in the ground.
I ordered a plate of spaghettiand the waiter had the audacity
to serve me some overcooked,soggy mess with no sauce, just
butter what.
I damn near flipped the table.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
Do they serve?
Okay, in France do they serve?
Now, see, I have to asksomething respectable.
Now, see, I have to asksomething respectable.
In france, do they serve pasta?
Pasta with no sauce, onlybutter?
Question mark is this real?
Yes, in france you can.
(50:10):
Oh my god, it's a real thing.
Pot is all, but it's uh.
Yeah, it's, that's literallywhat it is.
It's pasta with just fuckingbutter.
It translates to pasta withbutter.
This is insanity.
Are you fucking serious?
I don't know.
I got to tell you.
(50:31):
I think I'm with Nikki on this.
This is awful.
This is a sin against fuckingmankind.
You got to give it that huck.
Oh, jesus Christ, you said allthat stuff.
The wrong fucking button.
And the button is right thereon the top.
I don't know why I keep pushingit, but it's the one fucking
right there.
Okay, next, okay, so they servebutter with sauce.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
And don't get me started on the French survivors
in DBD.
French survivors, all of someelite swf squads that only
communicate in french.
Just to mess with you, I swear.
They got secret tech where theyall know how to flashlight save
in perfect sync like a goddamnballet.
So, yeah, oh, paris, yeah, I'vebeen there.
(51:13):
Okay, I survived it, uh-huh,but I ain't going back unless
it's for an official S-A-B-A-Mtakeover.
Speaker 1 (51:20):
S-A-B-A-M.
I need them to change the nameof this fucking group.
I don't like S-A-B-A-M.
You got to change it tosomething else, but we're going
to do that next time.
So, paris France, thank you forcoming by by for downloading
the podcast.
You can leave if you want andwe're not going to lose any
(51:41):
sleep over it.
That was where the fuck are theviewers from.
So we had a big episode.
We learned about Flowers forAlgernon.
We learned about 2 vs 8 in DVD.
We went over Paris France.
We talked about the fuckinglawnmower, like you never know.
You never know what you're gonnaget here on fucking Camping
them Softly.
I'm gonna have to turn it down.
(52:02):
You can't even hear what I'mfucking saying.
Damn, I'm good.
Oh, damn, I'm good.
That one's perfect for me.
Anyway, guys, that is it forthis week.
I promised you a deep dive onone of the survivors survivors
and we did not get to that, butwe will next week.
Because you know what?
Next week we may not actuallyhang on, let me.
(52:24):
Let me rephrase that becausetwo versus eight will have come
out by the next time I record,and I'm probably going to have
some thoughts on that.
I'm going to see if I can'trecord a video this week talking
about it, maybe, maybe not.
I'm trying to get a little bitmore active.
A video this week talking aboutit, maybe, maybe not.
I'm trying to get a little bitmore active on YouTube.
We've talked about that, andthen I never fucking do it.
And let me see here what isthis?
(52:47):
The life and legacy of NikkiNoodle Arms, ai Dente.
In the eternal war betweenpasta and tea, pasta always wins
.
I don't know why.
This is awful.
This is becoming insanity and Idon't apologize for it, because
this is what it is.
Fuckers.
This is what it fucking is, andI don't know if you can hear
(53:10):
that.
I don't know if it sounds anydifferent, but it should, okay,
anyway, that's it for us guys.
Thank you for coming by.
Satan, can you fucking see usout there?
We go Get the fuck out of myface for episode number 43.
(53:30):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (53:31):
Satan, thank you.
You thought you'd hold, youthought you'd win.
This world is mine.
Now let class begin.
Fuck the fucking trouble.
(54:03):
Don't try to jump.
It's over like a runaway train.
Fuck the fucking trouble.
Don't try to jump.
It's over like a runaway train.
Put my arms in a broken plan.
Speaker 1 (54:16):
I'm the motherfucker who will take this life.
Time saves Teacher.
I'm a listener.
The teacher speaks speaks.
Shut the listener.
Oh, bow to the beast.
To the beast.
Shut the listener.
The teacher speaks.
Shut up and listen.
(54:37):
The teacher speaks.
Shut up and listen.
Love to the beast.
Shut up and listen.
The truth is mine.
Shut up and listen.
It's toxic time.
Your grace is a joke.
Your cult is a lie.
You're weak as hell, justwaiting to die.
You brought me here to fix yourmess.
Now step aside.
Speaker 2 (54:58):
I'm the fucking best.
Your priest is a joke.
Your cult is a lie.
You're weak as hell, justwaiting to die.
You brought me here to fix yourmess.
Now step aside.
I'm the fucking best.
(55:19):
Look at you probably know I'mthe king.
Now never hope for what we'llknow.
The future explodes to aclimbing rift.
Build the king now and thewhole world will know.
Do I say teacher?
The world will burn your lungs.
Erase this is my kingdom andremember my face.
Speaker 1 (55:40):
Bow down, shut your mouth.
It's my time, get the fuck out.
I say, teacher, write a lesson.
The teacher speaks, speaks.
Shut the listen.
Oh, bow to the beast.
The truth of the beast.
Shut up and listen.
(56:01):
The teacher speaks.
Shut up and listen.
Bow to the beast.
Shut up and listen.
The truth is mine.
Shut up and listen.
It's toxic time.
Your grace is gone.
Your lies are through.
The toxic teacher has come foryou.
The world is mine now.
(56:30):
Class dismissed, we'll be rightback.
The toxic teacher has come foryou.
Speaker 2 (57:14):
The world is mine now .
Class dismissed.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Iām Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and Iām so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood youāre able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and lifeās ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them weāve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I donāt take it for granted ā click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I canāt wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you wonāt hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, youāve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.