January 29, 2025 • 47 mins
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Today's episode explores the chaos created by external pressures and how our minds often focus on what we cannot control, leading to anxiety and confusion. We discuss the influence of media, the importance of critical thinking, and how adopting a perspective of curiosity can help reclaim our minds and emotions.
• Understanding how outside distractions create chaos in the mind
• Recognizing the importance of self-reflection over external concerns
• Examining the role of media in shaping our fears and information consumption
• The function of AI in amplifying certain narratives at the expense of others
• Discussing anxiety related to news and the desire to remain informed
• Viewing fear as a guide for action rather than an obstacle
• Encouraging critical thinking to navigate emotional responses
• Emphasizing the significance of personal agency in determining focus and attention
We hope this helps a little as you go through your day.
We would love to hear your feedback or questions.
We will respond to both in future episodes.
Check us out at
www.somhypnosis.com
Email us at
info@somhypnosis.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I suffer from it, everybody suffers from it.
You know you're living outsideyourself.
You're busy being concernedwith things you can't control,
trying to control them, tryingto control them, trying to
control yourself so that you cancontrol them.
You're just so focused outsideof who you are and what you are
(00:33):
and what you can be and what youcan accomplish and what you can
influence and what you'rereally able to impact, and this
just creates chaos in the mind.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
And I think that's what's going on, and it's what's
going on for most people mostof the time.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
This is Coffee with Hilary and Les a podcast about
the mind.
Join us by the lake as we sipour coffee and talk about the
mind and how to change it.
Join us by the lake as we sipour coffee and talk about the
mind and how to change it.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Together, we explore how to break free of the past
and open up a whole new future.
I am back.
I am here, we're back.
How long has it been?
It's been a long time.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I don't even know.
I don't even know.
I don't even know.
We're just.
It's been a crazy couple monthsor crazy month, and this is now
.
I mean, we're really doing thisat the craziest time of that
time the good news is we yearnto do it.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
The good news is that inside us we have a desire to
be doing this and that life justseems to get so darn busy.
So you know, they say busy isgood, so we've got to be happy
that we're very busy, yeah, um,and we need to find and balance
time to do this.
So there's maybe the first sortof reframe I offer is that if
(02:01):
you examine yourself and allowyourself to be honest with
yourself, you'll know what it isyou really want, and when you
start to miss something, it'sprobably because you want more
of it in your life yeah andthese are, uh, instincts or
inspirations to follow.
(02:22):
So we want more of this in ourlife, but we've talked lots
about changing it, haven't we?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Changing the podcast.
Yeah yeah, so we're justthrowing around ideas.
We think we've come to a youknow, a loose outline.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
And here we are.
I think the new outline stillmight include the fact that the
sun is shining.
Yeah, that the weather wouldwork.
The lake is half frozen.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
We enjoyed watching an eagle this morning pick apart
a fish on the ice.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yeah, that was cool.
It was kind of inspiring.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
It's funny how certain players in nature have a
higher meaning, don't they?
Yeah, it would have been onething to see a crow out there
picking apart a fish.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, you'd be like me.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
But we saw an eagle doing it and that somehow
inspired us.
The meaning we put on things isamazing isn't it Speaking of
eagles the?
Oh yes, we have a constantbarrage.
We've now once again becomehighly focused on everything
that's going on in the unitedstates of america.
(03:37):
We're in canada.
Most of you are not in theUnited States.
So to tell you, those of youwho are in the United States,
yeah, the world is reallylooking on and talking about it
and fascinated by it in so manyways.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Our fascination, or my fascination right now.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
now, Les's fascination due to me is the
drones to me drones, hmm, yeah,and there are people out there
listen to this.
You say what are you talkingabout drones?
Because they they weren't awareof that, you know, and all of
(04:19):
these things that we're aware ofand not aware of that we we put
into our awareness.
You know, all change sort ofthe context at which we're
looking at our life right now.
Yeah, and all of that isrelative to our own
individuality yeah, it really isamazing.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
You know what we're researching and into things
right now that have existed forso long and it had I didn't even
know how much content was outthere about the stuff that we're
we're interested in now and howlong it's been going on for,
(04:59):
and, um, it's amazing to me howit was just not in my wheelhouse
at all, like I had no clueabout all these things.
This isn't just the drones,it's other things we're
interested in.
But you know, it's just amazingto me that once you get into
something, once you'reinterested in something, it's
like it's everywhere Suddenlyand you're thinking where has
(05:21):
this been this whole time?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
suddenly and you're thinking where has this been
this whole time?
Well, I think that you know, ifyou rewind 25 years, media was
really focused on beinggeneralist.
Right, there were two or threenews outlets that were trying to
give you all the news relatedto everything, all the time, and
, and so you looked innewspapers or you watched
(05:50):
television to feel informed,right.
But what's important tounderstand is that media only
gets paid when it delivers toadvertisers a defined audience,
and so what they work to do isto specialize their audience.
(06:12):
They want to have people whofit specific demographics, who
fit specific psychographics, sothat they can sell their
awareness, their attention, toan advertiser.
And so, in that process ofspecializing, we saw the rise of
specialty cable channels andspecialty radio, and then the
(06:38):
rise of podcasts and the rise ofYouTube, and all of these
things are really targeted in avery, very narrow way.
You know to go after aparticular audience that, for
example, you know loves football.
So you know it's easy.
Example Doritos chips wantspeople who eat a lot of Doritos,
(07:02):
and so their first target is abunch of video gamers, and so in
all media related to that,video gamers will consume.
Doritos, tries to make itselfavailable and with all the
sports that people love becausepeople who love sports tend to
eat junk food and Doritos theyfind themselves making
(07:23):
themselves present in sportingnews and sporting channels and
so in that narrowing in thatfocus, they're trying to improve
the message that they'resending to meaningful people and
they don't want to send themessage to people who never eat
Doritos and aren't interested inDoritos, so that that would be
a waste of money to spend it onthat.
So the media tries tospecialize this and they become
(07:47):
more and more targeted.
And now the advent of AI, whichbasically follows, watches you
and what you consume and thensends you more of it, because
it's in that process that theycan specialize an audience for
an advertiser, because always,always, media is not really
(08:13):
focused on its content.
It's focused on its audienceand creates content to fit them.
So as we, as we take news beinga general idea for everybody and
we, we refine it all the waydown to the number of news
outlets that there are now,targeted at particular kinds of
people who are interested inparticular kinds of news and can
(08:37):
become fixated on particularstories, ai drives those
particular stories into the wayyou consume the media and for a
lot of people now.
It's Instagram and Facebook andTwitter and it just drives to
them the same topics over andover and over.
(08:58):
So on the one hand, when you goon YouTube, you think, well,
the world's my oyster.
There's like a million thingssitting there for me to examine
and consider.
I can do everything, from learna new song on my guitar to
fixing my tractor, tounderstanding the nature of
cryptocurrency.
(09:18):
I can do all these differentthings all on YouTube.
But what I searched yesterday isnow what's going to be offered
to me today and that's going toallow me to sort of spiral into
these topics and get in themreally deep and, at the same
time, it's going to allow otherswho didn't you know, all the
people who had no idea thatthere was this phenomenon of
(09:43):
drones going on over the USeastern seaboard.
That has been going on for amonth and people are very
fixated on it right now.
There are people out there whodidn't know about it, who are
now going to take out theirphone and they're going to do
that search and now it's goingto be in their feed and the more
they read, the more they watch,the more they pay attention to
it, the more it's going to be intheir feed, and the more they
(10:03):
read, the more they watch, themore they pay attention to it,
the more it's going to be intheir feed, which means the less
other things are going to be intheir feed.
Yeah, and so being informed andbeing aware has become very,
very difficult in a world that'strying to sell you things and
(10:24):
the media is not driven byanything other than assembling
audiences for advertisers.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah, I mean, we've all had that.
If we're on the internet, if wehave social media, we've
probably all experienced thatthing where you, you look up one
thing one time, you know, andthen suddenly it's all over
marketplace trying to sell toyou in different formats.
I looked up a friend of mine,said she she was looking for a
(10:59):
game boy.
Um, uh, because there's thisgame.
She really, you know, nostalgiais taking over her life and she
wants to play Kirby's DreamLand.
And so me, you know, being oneof her best friends, I'm like
secretly going on to mymarketplace and looking for Game
(11:22):
Boys and just typing it in onetime.
Now it's just all over, likeI'm constantly trying to get it
out of my feed because this wasa couple months ago and it's
still pushing it to me indifferent ways.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
So, yeah, I think we've all experienced that in
some ways for sure, those thoseold goofy experiments where
people would just say you knowtennis racket a thousand times
and watch tennis rackets show upin there because your phone's
always listening.
Yeah, you know, I the long andthe short of it.
I think for me, when I thinkabout our mind, when I think
(12:03):
about our mind, when I thinkabout the way we manage
ourselves in the world with ourmind and some of the tricks our
mind can play on us, is that wemight think that because now I
have all this information in myfeed about these drones that are
in the Eastern US, you knowthat's suddenly the most
(12:27):
important thing.
It must be the most importantthing, or I wouldn't be seeing
all these stories about it, andthat's a misinterpretation of
what's going on.
I'm not suggesting it isn'timportant, nor am I suggesting
to anyone who is upset by itthat they shouldn't be I'm.
I am suggesting that the amountthat it turns up in your media
(12:50):
is a function of advertising,not a function of importance,
that there are other veryimportant things going on in the
world that are not showing upin your feed and that we are
easily tricking ourselves intothinking we're informed when
(13:14):
we're really not.
We're not aware of everythingwe could be aware of, and not
that you should be either.
I want to draw that line in thesand.
At some point or another wehave to say this is not
important to me, this stuff thateverybody's worked up about in
(13:37):
this area or that area or thisissue or that political issue.
At some point or another we'reallowed to say you know, that's
not important to me and I don'tneed to be pulled into other
people's concerns, because if itdoesn't relate to me, if it's
not meaningful to me, thenprobably if I formulate an
(13:59):
opinion on it, it's kind of itwould likely be in incomplete
opinion, based on incompleteinformation, with not fully, not
full awareness of all thedimensions.
And then we can dive into ouropinion and start saying their
(14:20):
opinion is really important andwe have strong opinions about
stuff that really doesn't relateto us.
So at some point or another,you know, we all know, you know
like there are people, you knowwhen our I'll use the example
you know when my, when my son issick, right, that's important
to me and I want to know.
(14:41):
And when my son's friend is sick, that's just less important to
me.
And when my son's friend'sfriend knows somebody that's
sick, that's not important to meand that's okay.
It's okay for me to say, well,people are going to get sick and
(15:01):
I'm not going to pay attentionto everybody who gets sick.
And it's not like I'm heartlessand I don't care about people.
It's that certain extensions ofconnection start to become less
and less important.
It's really easy to trickyourself into thinking
everything is important to youand that's going to lead you
(15:24):
down a heck of a spiral.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yeah, it ends up being, I see with clients all
the time, especially this year,the fear and anxiety related to
things totally out of theircontrol, things halfway across
the world.
And again, not that weshouldn't think about our fellow
(15:52):
humans and humanity as a whole,but I think, as a human, we get
caught up in the idea that wewant to help right, we want to
help, and what the media tendsto do, and with AI just driving
(16:13):
it, especially if we look it uponce, you know, um, if we can't
help, there's this fear thatcomes up, there's this anxiety
that comes up.
We want to help, we want, wewant them to be okay, we want,
um, we want the whole world tobe okay.
(16:33):
Uh, and it's just not thereality of what can happen.
Really, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Well, yeah, it's not the reality of your sphere of
influence.
You really have, you know, acertain reach, a certain ability
to reach out into the world andhave an impact on it, and you
should never shy away from yourability to have an impact on the
world in a loving, caring,supportive, meaningful way.
(17:06):
But we can also find ourselvesthinking that everything out
there is somehow related to meyes right.
Somehow this has meaning to me.
If somebody else isexperiencing this negative
experience that relates to meand my kind and I need to be
(17:29):
vocal and I need to be activeand I need to be engaged and I
think some of that's just agreat big illusion.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Just a great big illusion and uh, and then a huge
um, I'll call it a misdirectionof our energies.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yeah, so I think, first of all, you got to deal
with the fact that theinformation you're receiving is
much more a function ofadvertising and your interests
at the time than it is aboutreally being informed.
That your concern over thingsthat are out of your reach, um
is well-intentioned andgood-hearted, but, um, in many
(18:09):
respects, um I'm going to usethe word impotent you can't have
an impact on it.
You can be of it, but there area million things to be aware of
at any given time, and thenature of mind says that our
attention can only be in oneplace at a time.
So, if I'm aware of 10 issuesin the world, right, if I'm
(18:35):
aware that there's a war goingon in the Ukraine, I'm aware
that there still continues to berebel uprisings in Afghanistan,
that there continues to be anenormous fear on the part of the
people in Taiwan about what'sgoing to happen with China and
(18:56):
their perceived independence andtheir perceived independence.
That there are citizens in NewJersey who are freaked right out
about these drones that areflying over their head.
That there are money systems inthe world that are changing and
(19:18):
changes are being are takingplace sort of below people's
awareness, um, and so you know,I I haven't even begun to list
all the things that ourlisteners might be aware of and
are concerned about civil warsand and crime, and just all
these things that are within oursphere of awareness and then we
(19:42):
feel like it's ourresponsibility to be aware and
to take an opinion and to take aside, and there are dozens of
these things we're busy beingaware of and taking sides to.
It is just no surprise that wehave a flood of people coming in
(20:04):
with anxiety that they can'tdeal with, that there are people
going to doctors and justwanting pills to get rid of this
anxiety.
And knowing their sphere ofinfluence, knowing that they
can't influence all these things, while at the same time hearing
in the media that they havesomehow a global responsibility
(20:26):
as a global citizen to beengaged in this, you know and
feel so utterly powerless inregards to it.
It's just no surprise thatdepression and anxiety are just
rampant, right, and it reallystarts, I believe, with having a
better awareness of why certainsignificant dynamics in the
(20:55):
world are being brought to yourattention and that if they can't
, in their messages, make themrelated specifically to you,
then you won't care, and sothey're always trying to find a
way to get you to care aboutthings you have no ability to
(21:17):
impact right.
And in that process and it's aphrase I love, you know, because
it's so many of us I, I, sufferfrom it, everybody suffers from
it.
You know you're living outsideyourself.
You're busy being concernedwith things you can't control,
(21:38):
trying to control them, tryingto control yourself so that you
can control them.
You're just so focused outsideof who you are and what you are
and what you can be and what youcan accomplish and what you can
influence and what you'rereally able to impact, to impact
(22:06):
, and this just creates chaos inthe mind.
Yeah, and I think that's that'swhat's going on, and it's
what's going on for most peoplemost of the time.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Hillary and Les offer both in-person and online
hypnosis services for clientsaround the world.
If that that interests you,visit our website
psalmhypnosiscom and sign up fora free consultation or send us
an email at info atpsalmhypnosiscom.
There's different emotionsgoing on with the people that
(22:38):
are taking the video, emotionsgoing on with the people that
are taking the video.
There's different questionsfrom people taking the video, as
they're looking at it or whenthey're sort of showing the
video to people and then in thebackground making a commentary.
So we kind of wanted to breakit down into kind of
(23:13):
understanding what these youknow where they're coming from
emotions, belief systems.
I mean, this is all hypnosis.
Right, it's all related tohypnosis.
I mean, anything in life can be, I suppose in a sense.
But we wanted to kind of take adeeper look at what's going on
(23:34):
for these people and whatthey're uh, going through yeah,
it's about the way we use ourmind.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
I think a lot of times, you know probably for all
of us our mind can get thebetter of us.
Better of us, we'll be usingour mind in ways that we think
is important and the resultwon't be positive because there
(24:07):
are too many things outside ofour sphere of influence and
we're using our mind and, morespecifically, we're using our
attention.
So I always like the analogythat our mind is kind of like
our hand.
Right, our hand has thisinfinite potential.
It can do everything from writea letter to play a musical
(24:30):
instrument, to make food, tosend love and caressing touch.
You know we can do so much withour hand.
It has this unlimited potential, but it can only do one thing
at a time.
It's only able to.
(24:50):
It can't beat an egg and writea letter at the same time, and
that's really the same as yourmind.
Your mind can't do multiplethings at once.
So whatever is drawing yourattention is pulling you away
from something you might prefer.
The mind can only hold reallyone idea at a time.
(25:15):
This idea of multitasking hasbeen sort of debunked yeah,
that's a good word for it andreplaced with psychological
studies that have proven that.
It's not that you multitask,it's that you switch.
You switch from task to taskand you're actually very good at
(25:36):
switching.
You're very fast at switching.
Most people are.
Most people are very good atswitching from.
You're very fast at switching,most people are.
Most people are very good atswitching from task to task,
from idea to idea.
You can be sitting reading abook and someone can call your
name and you can lift up yourhead and see another situation
that needs to be dealt with andjump up out of your chair and go
deal with that.
We're really really good atswitching.
We're really good at switchingfrom cooking the eggs cooking
(25:58):
the eggs to also, you know,preparing the plates as we make
a meal, and these are things wecan switch back and forth with,
and we switch them very well andvery quickly.
But it's not that we're doingmultiple things at once.
It's that we're switching soquickly from thing to thing to
thing that a whole bunch ofthings can be accomplished
(26:20):
simultaneously, right?
So this, this isn't.
This is where we are.
So things are drawing ourattention away, and it's
important to realize that it'svery easy to draw your attention
to things that you would beafraid of your mind has a bit of
a hierarchy in the way itresponds to the external
(26:41):
environment, and it will respondalways to threats.
Anything perceived as a threat,anything perceived as dangerous
, anything perceived aschallenging your safety, right
now is the thing that will riseto the top.
And so, in a world that'sconstantly trying to make you
(27:01):
afraid, here's another thing youshould be afraid of.
Here's another thing you shouldbe afraid of.
You can find yourself cycling,switching from negative thing to
negative thing to negativething, from fear to different
fear to a different fear, overand over and over, and it
becomes impossible to resolvemost of those fears.
(27:24):
There's absolutely nothing Ican do about the drones that are
going over New Jersey right nowAbsolutely nothing.
But what I can be is have myattention pulled away and be
afraid of it.
And the question then becomesis it good or bad for me to
allow my attention to be drawntowards it and having and
(27:47):
dwelling in and spending time inthe resulting fear of something
that I can do absolutelynothing about?
Speaker 2 (27:55):
but then it starts, you know.
Question is can you look at itand say, oh, isn't that
interesting.
I wonder what the people aregoing through.
I wonder what I would do ifthey were here.
Can you do that without fear?
And more curiosity, maybe, andI think it's leading to where
(28:18):
we're going.
Is you know?
You mentioned the context.
What were your beliefs andthoughts, and all this before
the drones showed up, right?
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Yeah, I believe that again, if I'm trying to sell you
stuff, I know that I can getyou to buy stuff.
If you're afraid, if what I'mselling will protect you from
something you fear, you'll buyit and it's the first thing.
You'll buy it and it's thefirst thing you'll buy.
And so when it comes toadvertising, fear is at the top
of the list of emotions to tryto stimulate, to get people to
(29:11):
buy.
And if I can get a society as awhole generally afraid all the
time, then they start to reactto things with fear.
Now I'm going to rewind and I'mgoing to come at it from a
different angle.
(29:32):
I have a son and he loves snakes.
He just loves them.
He can hold them.
When you say, oh, there's asnake over here, he'll come
running, he'll pick it up, he'llplay with it.
He has absolutely no fear of it.
He's not the slightest bitconcerned.
He's been bit by garden snakesand that's no big deal.
(29:55):
It hurt, but it's not a reason,you know.
It's just because he picked itup wrong and he knows that and
he's very, very comfortable.
But he's probably the only onein our family that doesn't have
an immediate negative reactionto snakes.
For me.
I see a snake and I just lockup fast and I then have a
conversation with myself sayingLes, this is not going to hurt
(30:17):
you, this is just another one ofthe beings on the planet, just
let it be.
And then I do that thinkingprocess.
But he didn't have the fear ofsnakes programmed into him and
so because of that, he's open tothe world of snakes and lizards
(30:39):
and all kinds of things that somany people go ooh, yuck, keep
it away from me right, and I'mgoing to go to the extreme of
you know, if you are raised in aworld where orbs in the sky are
scary and that if you're livingin a world where multiple
(31:04):
countries around the world aretargeting, trying to destroy you
and your life which I think isreally common in the US to see
China and Russia and all kindsof places even now Mexico and
Canada, for Pete's sake they'regetting people to say we need to
be afraid of these guys, weneed to protect ourselves.
(31:27):
And then, all of a sudden,there's these unexplained drones
over the sky and in thebackground are these other
flying objects that people arebeing, you know, concerned with.
You know, if all of this is tobe afraid of, right, then you're
(31:48):
going to be overwhelmed rightnow.
And if you can take that fearback and say wait a second, I
don't have to be afraid of thesethings, I could choose to be
curious about them, the way myson is with snakes, right, I
could be curious about them.
(32:08):
I could see them as interesting.
Yeah, I suppose there's thechance that my son could be
wrong one day and pick up asnake that might hurt him.
I don't think that's likely.
Because I think that becausehe's curious about it, because
he feels comfortable with it.
He won't run from a snakebecause it's a snake.
(32:31):
He'll look at a snake and say,oh, that one's different,
because I know what I normallylook at.
He's got an awareness of thesethings, that that one is not the
kind of one I should be pickingup.
I've never seen one with thosecolors before.
I've never seen one in thatshape before.
Let me just step back and takea look for a second.
Then he has the right degree ofcaution because he's not just
(32:54):
plain afraid of snakes.
He is interested in snakes andknows that there are some to be
concerned about and some not tobe concerned about, and so I I
guess what I'm getting at isit's important to recognize when
you have been somehow trainedor raised to be afraid of things
(33:16):
that aren't necessarily fearful, necessarily fearful, and when
you are trained to seeeverything as fearful,
everything as attack, everythingas something for you.
You can't even listen to mywords right now For me
suggesting that everything thatyou're afraid of you don't need
(33:36):
to be afraid of.
You're going to say, les,you're nuts, you're crazy.
Don't be saying things likethat, because people will get
hurt because they're notsufficiently afraid of the
things they're supposed to beafraid of, which is everything,
right, everything, anythingthat's unusual we need to be
afraid of, and it becomes ournatural response to everything
(34:05):
response to everything, and soall I'm suggesting is that maybe
everything you become aware ofis much more a function of
advertisers trying to get yourattention, knowing that your
fears are such a dominant thingin your life that they can
trigger them in a heartbeat.
Right, and while you'regrabbing those YouTube videos
that are all about the drones,don't forget you had to watch
(34:27):
two ads before you could watchthat video, and you had to watch
two ads in the middle of thatvideo and you got offered two
more ads at the end of thatvideo.
And the only reason that videoexists on that platform is so
that they can show you someadvertising, because they don't
get paid because people posttheir videos.
They get paid becauseadvertisers want to be part of
them, and now, all of a sudden,I'm looking at this information
(34:50):
and I'm seeing it now issomething that's being offered
to me to try to make me afraid,so that I'll consume advertising
.
And being afraid means I can nowbe sold something, something
that might protect me from myfear.
And this is a cycle, and all Ican say is just be aware of it,
just allow yourself to be awareof it.
(35:10):
There's got to be some aspectof the things that you fear that
you can say I don't understandwhy we're afraid of that.
Now there's that 's.
I always use the phrase there'sthe door cracked open Right.
There's the opportunity toreconsider, to use the phrase
there's the door cracked openright.
There's the opportunity toreconsider, to use your mind, to
(35:32):
rethink this, to use your mindfor you, about you, with your
abilities, and say I don't knowthat I buy this.
I don't know that I'm going tolet myself get sucked into this.
I can be aware of this withouthaving it dominate my emotions.
I can be aware that this iswhat's going on in the world and
that, in truth, its likelihoodof affecting me is very small
(35:55):
and therefore I can be moreaware.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
I can be more aware, more critical, less engaged, and
observe it rather than becomeit, I suppose.
Yeah, if you can't be there inperson, you know.
I guess what I'm getting at isif you're not on the ground
filming the drones and whateverelse is up there, the only way
that that information gets to usis through what you feel about
this.
Have deeper critical thinkingwhen you're watching it, and
(36:51):
that will help to alleviate theanxieties or fears surrounding
it.
You know, I could go down arabbit hole with this.
I I think about, um, what cameto me before, uh, earlier, was
(37:11):
this idea that we were talkingabout earlier how people put
trust in the government right,and how, something like this,
where the government is, uh,what would you say tight-lipped,
like nothing coming out, theyfirst gaslit people saying that
(37:38):
there was nothing up there, andand now they're saying, okay,
yeah, there's some stuff upthere, it's not an issue, but
they're not coming out withthings, and so you have a whole
section of people that fearagain comes from trusting in the
government.
And then suddenly, well, howcan we trust the government?
(38:00):
They're not giving us theinformation we need, right?
So then there's another elementof fear, and we could you know?
I'm sure talk about that forages, but there's just so many
(38:22):
facets to you said to just takea step back whenever you're
consuming the information aboutit.
Number one, I mean what comes tomind is not believing every
video.
There's many made with AI, youknow, and it's hard, it's hard
to try to sift through those.
Many made with AI, you know,and it's hard, it's hard to try
(38:43):
to sift through those.
There's videos of peoplesensationalizing it, hyping the
fear.
So it's all out there, you know, and even, unfortunately,
people sharing this stuff, noteven the news networks, know
(39:05):
that fear sells.
People will watch my video if Ihave an element of excitement
or fear in it.
So just being critical aboutwhat you're consuming, and that
should alleviate a lot of, maybe, what's going on for you yeah,
(39:26):
and remember that emotions arethere for a reason.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
You know.
We like to reframe fear.
One of my favorite reframes forfear is that fear is a warning,
it's not a wall.
Fear is a warning, it's not awall.
Fear is a suggestion that theremight be something you should
be concerned about because therecould be some danger there.
But that doesn't mean you can'tact.
It just means that you probablyshould be thoughtful in your
(39:59):
actions.
So it's not to stop you fromdoing things, it's to warn you
that some things could in fact,you know, be dangerous.
So use the example of my sonagain, you know, for me.
I see a snake and my fear mightget the better of me and I jump
back and I say what the heck isthat?
And I get all upset.
But my son will do that oh,what's that?
(40:22):
Which is the perfect questionwhat's that?
Then he examines it and says,well, it's just a garden snake.
They're actually quite neat andthe way they move, they're so
different.
I like feeling them in my hands, I like looking at them with my
eyes.
It's a wholly differentinterpretation.
He still uses his fear responseand says, hey, hey, what's that
(40:45):
?
But he doesn't have a universalfear of everything, right?
So when you hear about thesethings and you have a fear
response, understand, it's awarning, not a wall.
You can examine it, you canconsider it and you can use that
conscious part of your mind,right, that incredibly powerful
(41:05):
thinking part of your mind, tosay well, what do I know?
What do I know?
What I know is that there's apicture here on a video.
That may or may not be true,that may or may not be accurate
to what was going on.
What I see is a picture of thiskind of dynamic, these kinds of
things.
What does that say to me.
Well, it says to me something'sup there in the sky, um, I
(41:27):
don't know what it is.
I turn to those in authoritythat I think should be able to
tell me, and they're not tellingme.
But they are telling me, hey,we, we're not concerned about it
, right, we don't know what itis, but we're not concerned
about it, which is really, in aworld so filled with fear,
shocking.
(41:47):
This government is not tellingyou to be afraid, right?
So there's a certain amount ofconfusion there, because you're
not getting the response younormally get.
But you can use your criticalthinking, your own ability to
use that conscious part of yourmind right, to think through and
(42:08):
to examine and collectinformation without jumping to
conclusions.
The emotion needs to beprocessed, right?
So I offer you this refrain Iam not my emotions, I am not my
feelings, I am the feeler of thefeelings, I am the one
(42:31):
experiencing the emotion.
The emotion is there to takecare of me, to help me live a
better life.
It's an indicator or asuggestion that something's
going on.
The emotion might be one ofhappiness, and then the
suggestion is to engage it.
The emotion might be one ofanger, which suggests I'm being
(42:55):
treated unfairly, and so I wantto.
I really want to address theperson or persons that are
treating me unfairly.
Or maybe what's best issomebody's treating me unfairly
and it's all because of them, soI'm just going to walk away
from it.
I'm just going to create adistance.
These emotions are there toguide us, to understand what
(43:18):
we're experiencing and tomotivate us to act in a way to
resolve the emotion, get theemotion to go away.
Carrying the emotion around isnot helpful.
So if you're feeling afraid, ofanything ask yourself what
you're afraid of.
Try to be clear and specific.
What is it that I'm actuallyafraid of?
(43:40):
Be sure, be confident whetheror not it's something that's
actually going to happen.
Is it that I'm actually afraidof?
Be sure, be confident whetheror not it's something that's
actually going to happen.
Is it really something thatcould happen?
Is it something that's going tohappen imminently, right right
now, right in front of me?
Is it going to happen now, oris it something that might
happen down the road?
Understanding what you'reafraid of allows you to then
strategize on how to respond toit and taking the time, using
(44:09):
that incredibly smart, consciousmind of yours to examine these
things and not let them justflow into activating fear and
then clinging to the fear.
Using these things, I am not myemotions, I am the feeler of the
emotions.
The emotion is here to bring mean awareness of what I might do
.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Take the time and think about what you might do.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
that would be helpful Without getting yourself in an
emotional state where thinkingstarts to become impossible.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I think that was a goodchat, hopefully it helps people.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Yeah, I think awareness of how our mind works
and awareness of how we're usingour mind is the most important
first step if you really want tolive a life of happiness is the
most important first step Ifyou really want to live a life
of happiness and curiosity andcreativity and joy.
We have to understand thethings that are interfering with
(45:15):
that and that's usually howwe're using our mind.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
Yeah, yeah, the mind got us into it.
It can get us out of it yeah,yeah, our mind got us into it,
it can get us out of it.
There you go, all right, allright, okay.
So have a good day and we'llsee you later.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
We hope you enjoyed today's podcast and that maybe
it helped Even a little, so havea good day and we'll see you
later.
For more information abouthypnosis and the various online
or in-person services we provide, please visit our website
wwwpsalmhypnosiscom.
The link is in the notes below.
(46:10):
While you're there, why don'tyou book a free one-hour journey
, meeting with Hillary or Les,to learn more about what
hypnosis is and how you mightuse it to make your life what
you want it to be?
Bye for now.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Talk to you tomorrow, thank you.
I suffer from it, everybody suffers from it.
You know you're living outsideyourself.
You're busy being concernedwith things you can't control,
trying to control them, tryingto control them, trying to
control yourself so that you cancontrol them.
You're just so focused outsideof who you are and what you are
(00:33):
and what you can be and what youcan accomplish and what you can
influence and what you'rereally able to impact, and this
just creates chaos in the mind.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
And I think that's what's going on, and it's what's
going on for most people mostof the time.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
This is Coffee with Hilary and Les a podcast about
the mind.
Join us by the lake as we sipour coffee and talk about the
mind and how to change it.
Join us by the lake as we sipour coffee and talk about the
mind and how to change it.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Together, we explore how to break free of the past
and open up a whole new future.
I am back.
I am here, we're back.
How long has it been?
It's been a long time.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I don't even know.
I don't even know.
I don't even know.
We're just.
It's been a crazy couple monthsor crazy month, and this is now
.
I mean, we're really doing thisat the craziest time of that
time the good news is we yearnto do it.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
The good news is that inside us we have a desire to
be doing this and that life justseems to get so darn busy.
So you know, they say busy isgood, so we've got to be happy
that we're very busy, yeah, um,and we need to find and balance
time to do this.
So there's maybe the first sortof reframe I offer is that if
(02:01):
you examine yourself and allowyourself to be honest with
yourself, you'll know what it isyou really want, and when you
start to miss something, it'sprobably because you want more
of it in your life yeah andthese are, uh, instincts or
inspirations to follow.
(02:22):
So we want more of this in ourlife, but we've talked lots
about changing it, haven't we?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Changing the podcast.
Yeah yeah, so we're justthrowing around ideas.
We think we've come to a youknow, a loose outline.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
And here we are.
I think the new outline stillmight include the fact that the
sun is shining.
Yeah, that the weather wouldwork.
The lake is half frozen.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
We enjoyed watching an eagle this morning pick apart
a fish on the ice.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yeah, that was cool.
It was kind of inspiring.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
It's funny how certain players in nature have a
higher meaning, don't they?
Yeah, it would have been onething to see a crow out there
picking apart a fish.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, you'd be like me.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
But we saw an eagle doing it and that somehow
inspired us.
The meaning we put on things isamazing isn't it Speaking of
eagles the?
Oh yes, we have a constantbarrage.
We've now once again becomehighly focused on everything
that's going on in the unitedstates of america.
(03:37):
We're in canada.
Most of you are not in theUnited States.
So to tell you, those of youwho are in the United States,
yeah, the world is reallylooking on and talking about it
and fascinated by it in so manyways.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Our fascination, or my fascination right now.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
now, Les's fascination due to me is the
drones to me drones, hmm, yeah,and there are people out there
listen to this.
You say what are you talkingabout drones?
Because they they weren't awareof that, you know, and all of
(04:19):
these things that we're aware ofand not aware of that we we put
into our awareness.
You know, all change sort ofthe context at which we're
looking at our life right now.
Yeah, and all of that isrelative to our own
individuality yeah, it really isamazing.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
You know what we're researching and into things
right now that have existed forso long and it had I didn't even
know how much content was outthere about the stuff that we're
we're interested in now and howlong it's been going on for,
(04:59):
and, um, it's amazing to me howit was just not in my wheelhouse
at all, like I had no clueabout all these things.
This isn't just the drones,it's other things we're
interested in.
But you know, it's just amazingto me that once you get into
something, once you'reinterested in something, it's
like it's everywhere Suddenlyand you're thinking where has
(05:21):
this been this whole time?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
suddenly and you're thinking where has this been
this whole time?
Well, I think that you know, ifyou rewind 25 years, media was
really focused on beinggeneralist.
Right, there were two or threenews outlets that were trying to
give you all the news relatedto everything, all the time, and
, and so you looked innewspapers or you watched
(05:50):
television to feel informed,right.
But what's important tounderstand is that media only
gets paid when it delivers toadvertisers a defined audience,
and so what they work to do isto specialize their audience.
(06:12):
They want to have people whofit specific demographics, who
fit specific psychographics, sothat they can sell their
awareness, their attention, toan advertiser.
And so, in that process ofspecializing, we saw the rise of
specialty cable channels andspecialty radio, and then the
(06:38):
rise of podcasts and the rise ofYouTube, and all of these
things are really targeted in avery, very narrow way.
You know to go after aparticular audience that, for
example, you know loves football.
So you know it's easy.
Example Doritos chips wantspeople who eat a lot of Doritos,
(07:02):
and so their first target is abunch of video gamers, and so in
all media related to that,video gamers will consume.
Doritos, tries to make itselfavailable and with all the
sports that people love becausepeople who love sports tend to
eat junk food and Doritos theyfind themselves making
(07:23):
themselves present in sportingnews and sporting channels and
so in that narrowing in thatfocus, they're trying to improve
the message that they'resending to meaningful people and
they don't want to send themessage to people who never eat
Doritos and aren't interested inDoritos, so that that would be
a waste of money to spend it onthat.
So the media tries tospecialize this and they become
(07:47):
more and more targeted.
And now the advent of AI, whichbasically follows, watches you
and what you consume and thensends you more of it, because
it's in that process that theycan specialize an audience for
an advertiser, because always,always, media is not really
(08:13):
focused on its content.
It's focused on its audienceand creates content to fit them.
So as we, as we take news beinga general idea for everybody and
we, we refine it all the waydown to the number of news
outlets that there are now,targeted at particular kinds of
people who are interested inparticular kinds of news and can
(08:37):
become fixated on particularstories, ai drives those
particular stories into the wayyou consume the media and for a
lot of people now.
It's Instagram and Facebook andTwitter and it just drives to
them the same topics over andover and over.
(08:58):
So on the one hand, when you goon YouTube, you think, well,
the world's my oyster.
There's like a million thingssitting there for me to examine
and consider.
I can do everything, from learna new song on my guitar to
fixing my tractor, tounderstanding the nature of
cryptocurrency.
(09:18):
I can do all these differentthings all on YouTube.
But what I searched yesterday isnow what's going to be offered
to me today and that's going toallow me to sort of spiral into
these topics and get in themreally deep and, at the same
time, it's going to allow otherswho didn't you know, all the
people who had no idea thatthere was this phenomenon of
(09:43):
drones going on over the USeastern seaboard.
That has been going on for amonth and people are very
fixated on it right now.
There are people out there whodidn't know about it, who are
now going to take out theirphone and they're going to do
that search and now it's goingto be in their feed and the more
they read, the more they watch,the more they pay attention to
it, the more it's going to be intheir feed, and the more they
(10:03):
read, the more they watch, themore they pay attention to it,
the more it's going to be intheir feed, which means the less
other things are going to be intheir feed.
Yeah, and so being informed andbeing aware has become very,
very difficult in a world that'strying to sell you things and
(10:24):
the media is not driven byanything other than assembling
audiences for advertisers.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah, I mean, we've all had that.
If we're on the internet, if wehave social media, we've
probably all experienced thatthing where you, you look up one
thing one time, you know, andthen suddenly it's all over
marketplace trying to sell toyou in different formats.
I looked up a friend of mine,said she she was looking for a
(10:59):
game boy.
Um, uh, because there's thisgame.
She really, you know, nostalgiais taking over her life and she
wants to play Kirby's DreamLand.
And so me, you know, being oneof her best friends, I'm like
secretly going on to mymarketplace and looking for Game
(11:22):
Boys and just typing it in onetime.
Now it's just all over, likeI'm constantly trying to get it
out of my feed because this wasa couple months ago and it's
still pushing it to me indifferent ways.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
So, yeah, I think we've all experienced that in
some ways for sure, those thoseold goofy experiments where
people would just say you knowtennis racket a thousand times
and watch tennis rackets show upin there because your phone's
always listening.
Yeah, you know, I the long andthe short of it.
I think for me, when I thinkabout our mind, when I think
(12:03):
about our mind, when I thinkabout the way we manage
ourselves in the world with ourmind and some of the tricks our
mind can play on us, is that wemight think that because now I
have all this information in myfeed about these drones that are
in the Eastern US, you knowthat's suddenly the most
(12:27):
important thing.
It must be the most importantthing, or I wouldn't be seeing
all these stories about it, andthat's a misinterpretation of
what's going on.
I'm not suggesting it isn'timportant, nor am I suggesting
to anyone who is upset by itthat they shouldn't be I'm.
I am suggesting that the amountthat it turns up in your media
(12:50):
is a function of advertising,not a function of importance,
that there are other veryimportant things going on in the
world that are not showing upin your feed and that we are
easily tricking ourselves intothinking we're informed when
(13:14):
we're really not.
We're not aware of everythingwe could be aware of, and not
that you should be either.
I want to draw that line in thesand.
At some point or another wehave to say this is not
important to me, this stuff thateverybody's worked up about in
(13:37):
this area or that area or thisissue or that political issue.
At some point or another we'reallowed to say you know, that's
not important to me and I don'tneed to be pulled into other
people's concerns, because if itdoesn't relate to me, if it's
not meaningful to me, thenprobably if I formulate an
(13:59):
opinion on it, it's kind of itwould likely be in incomplete
opinion, based on incompleteinformation, with not fully, not
full awareness of all thedimensions.
And then we can dive into ouropinion and start saying their
(14:20):
opinion is really important andwe have strong opinions about
stuff that really doesn't relateto us.
So at some point or another,you know, we all know, you know
like there are people, you knowwhen our I'll use the example
you know when my, when my son issick, right, that's important
to me and I want to know.
(14:41):
And when my son's friend is sick, that's just less important to
me.
And when my son's friend'sfriend knows somebody that's
sick, that's not important to meand that's okay.
It's okay for me to say, well,people are going to get sick and
(15:01):
I'm not going to pay attentionto everybody who gets sick.
And it's not like I'm heartlessand I don't care about people.
It's that certain extensions ofconnection start to become less
and less important.
It's really easy to trickyourself into thinking
everything is important to youand that's going to lead you
(15:24):
down a heck of a spiral.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yeah, it ends up being, I see with clients all
the time, especially this year,the fear and anxiety related to
things totally out of theircontrol, things halfway across
the world.
And again, not that weshouldn't think about our fellow
(15:52):
humans and humanity as a whole,but I think, as a human, we get
caught up in the idea that wewant to help right, we want to
help, and what the media tendsto do, and with AI just driving
(16:13):
it, especially if we look it uponce, you know, um, if we can't
help, there's this fear thatcomes up, there's this anxiety
that comes up.
We want to help, we want, wewant them to be okay, we want,
um, we want the whole world tobe okay.
(16:33):
Uh, and it's just not thereality of what can happen.
Really, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Well, yeah, it's not the reality of your sphere of
influence.
You really have, you know, acertain reach, a certain ability
to reach out into the world andhave an impact on it, and you
should never shy away from yourability to have an impact on the
world in a loving, caring,supportive, meaningful way.
(17:06):
But we can also find ourselvesthinking that everything out
there is somehow related to meyes right.
Somehow this has meaning to me.
If somebody else isexperiencing this negative
experience that relates to meand my kind and I need to be
(17:29):
vocal and I need to be activeand I need to be engaged and I
think some of that's just agreat big illusion.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Just a great big illusion and uh, and then a huge
um, I'll call it a misdirectionof our energies.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yeah, so I think, first of all, you got to deal
with the fact that theinformation you're receiving is
much more a function ofadvertising and your interests
at the time than it is aboutreally being informed.
That your concern over thingsthat are out of your reach, um
is well-intentioned andgood-hearted, but, um, in many
(18:09):
respects, um I'm going to usethe word impotent you can't have
an impact on it.
You can be of it, but there area million things to be aware of
at any given time, and thenature of mind says that our
attention can only be in oneplace at a time.
So, if I'm aware of 10 issuesin the world, right, if I'm
(18:35):
aware that there's a war goingon in the Ukraine, I'm aware
that there still continues to berebel uprisings in Afghanistan,
that there continues to be anenormous fear on the part of the
people in Taiwan about what'sgoing to happen with China and
(18:56):
their perceived independence andtheir perceived independence.
That there are citizens in NewJersey who are freaked right out
about these drones that areflying over their head.
That there are money systems inthe world that are changing and
(19:18):
changes are being are takingplace sort of below people's
awareness, um, and so you know,I I haven't even begun to list
all the things that ourlisteners might be aware of and
are concerned about civil warsand and crime, and just all
these things that are within oursphere of awareness and then we
(19:42):
feel like it's ourresponsibility to be aware and
to take an opinion and to take aside, and there are dozens of
these things we're busy beingaware of and taking sides to.
It is just no surprise that wehave a flood of people coming in
(20:04):
with anxiety that they can'tdeal with, that there are people
going to doctors and justwanting pills to get rid of this
anxiety.
And knowing their sphere ofinfluence, knowing that they
can't influence all these things, while at the same time hearing
in the media that they havesomehow a global responsibility
(20:26):
as a global citizen to beengaged in this, you know and
feel so utterly powerless inregards to it.
It's just no surprise thatdepression and anxiety are just
rampant, right, and it reallystarts, I believe, with having a
better awareness of why certainsignificant dynamics in the
(20:55):
world are being brought to yourattention and that if they can't
, in their messages, make themrelated specifically to you,
then you won't care, and sothey're always trying to find a
way to get you to care aboutthings you have no ability to
(21:17):
impact right.
And in that process and it's aphrase I love, you know, because
it's so many of us I, I, sufferfrom it, everybody suffers from
it.
You know you're living outsideyourself.
You're busy being concernedwith things you can't control,
(21:38):
trying to control them, tryingto control yourself so that you
can control them.
You're just so focused outsideof who you are and what you are
and what you can be and what youcan accomplish and what you can
influence and what you'rereally able to impact, to impact
(22:06):
, and this just creates chaos inthe mind.
Yeah, and I think that's that'swhat's going on, and it's
what's going on for most peoplemost of the time.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Hillary and Les offer both in-person and online
hypnosis services for clientsaround the world.
If that that interests you,visit our website
psalmhypnosiscom and sign up fora free consultation or send us
an email at info atpsalmhypnosiscom.
There's different emotionsgoing on with the people that
(22:38):
are taking the video, emotionsgoing on with the people that
are taking the video.
There's different questionsfrom people taking the video, as
they're looking at it or whenthey're sort of showing the
video to people and then in thebackground making a commentary.
So we kind of wanted to breakit down into kind of
(23:13):
understanding what these youknow where they're coming from
emotions, belief systems.
I mean, this is all hypnosis.
Right, it's all related tohypnosis.
I mean, anything in life can be, I suppose in a sense.
But we wanted to kind of take adeeper look at what's going on
(23:34):
for these people and whatthey're uh, going through yeah,
it's about the way we use ourmind.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
I think a lot of times, you know probably for all
of us our mind can get thebetter of us.
Better of us, we'll be usingour mind in ways that we think
is important and the resultwon't be positive because there
(24:07):
are too many things outside ofour sphere of influence and
we're using our mind and, morespecifically, we're using our
attention.
So I always like the analogythat our mind is kind of like
our hand.
Right, our hand has thisinfinite potential.
It can do everything from writea letter to play a musical
(24:30):
instrument, to make food, tosend love and caressing touch.
You know we can do so much withour hand.
It has this unlimited potential, but it can only do one thing
at a time.
It's only able to.
(24:50):
It can't beat an egg and writea letter at the same time, and
that's really the same as yourmind.
Your mind can't do multiplethings at once.
So whatever is drawing yourattention is pulling you away
from something you might prefer.
The mind can only hold reallyone idea at a time.
(25:15):
This idea of multitasking hasbeen sort of debunked yeah,
that's a good word for it andreplaced with psychological
studies that have proven that.
It's not that you multitask,it's that you switch.
You switch from task to taskand you're actually very good at
(25:36):
switching.
You're very fast at switching.
Most people are.
Most people are very good atswitching from.
You're very fast at switching,most people are.
Most people are very good atswitching from task to task,
from idea to idea.
You can be sitting reading abook and someone can call your
name and you can lift up yourhead and see another situation
that needs to be dealt with andjump up out of your chair and go
deal with that.
We're really really good atswitching.
We're really good at switchingfrom cooking the eggs cooking
(25:58):
the eggs to also, you know,preparing the plates as we make
a meal, and these are things wecan switch back and forth with,
and we switch them very well andvery quickly.
But it's not that we're doingmultiple things at once.
It's that we're switching soquickly from thing to thing to
thing that a whole bunch ofthings can be accomplished
(26:20):
simultaneously, right?
So this, this isn't.
This is where we are.
So things are drawing ourattention away, and it's
important to realize that it'svery easy to draw your attention
to things that you would beafraid of your mind has a bit of
a hierarchy in the way itresponds to the external
(26:41):
environment, and it will respondalways to threats.
Anything perceived as a threat,anything perceived as dangerous
, anything perceived aschallenging your safety, right
now is the thing that will riseto the top.
And so, in a world that'sconstantly trying to make you
(27:01):
afraid, here's another thing youshould be afraid of.
Here's another thing you shouldbe afraid of.
You can find yourself cycling,switching from negative thing to
negative thing to negativething, from fear to different
fear to a different fear, overand over and over, and it
becomes impossible to resolvemost of those fears.
(27:24):
There's absolutely nothing Ican do about the drones that are
going over New Jersey right nowAbsolutely nothing.
But what I can be is have myattention pulled away and be
afraid of it.
And the question then becomesis it good or bad for me to
allow my attention to be drawntowards it and having and
(27:47):
dwelling in and spending time inthe resulting fear of something
that I can do absolutelynothing about?
Speaker 2 (27:55):
but then it starts, you know.
Question is can you look at itand say, oh, isn't that
interesting.
I wonder what the people aregoing through.
I wonder what I would do ifthey were here.
Can you do that without fear?
And more curiosity, maybe, andI think it's leading to where
(28:18):
we're going.
Is you know?
You mentioned the context.
What were your beliefs andthoughts, and all this before
the drones showed up, right?
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Yeah, I believe that again, if I'm trying to sell you
stuff, I know that I can getyou to buy stuff.
If you're afraid, if what I'mselling will protect you from
something you fear, you'll buyit and it's the first thing.
You'll buy it and it's thefirst thing you'll buy.
And so when it comes toadvertising, fear is at the top
of the list of emotions to tryto stimulate, to get people to
(29:11):
buy.
And if I can get a society as awhole generally afraid all the
time, then they start to reactto things with fear.
Now I'm going to rewind and I'mgoing to come at it from a
different angle.
(29:32):
I have a son and he loves snakes.
He just loves them.
He can hold them.
When you say, oh, there's asnake over here, he'll come
running, he'll pick it up, he'llplay with it.
He has absolutely no fear of it.
He's not the slightest bitconcerned.
He's been bit by garden snakesand that's no big deal.
(29:55):
It hurt, but it's not a reason,you know.
It's just because he picked itup wrong and he knows that and
he's very, very comfortable.
But he's probably the only onein our family that doesn't have
an immediate negative reactionto snakes.
For me.
I see a snake and I just lockup fast and I then have a
conversation with myself sayingLes, this is not going to hurt
(30:17):
you, this is just another one ofthe beings on the planet, just
let it be.
And then I do that thinkingprocess.
But he didn't have the fear ofsnakes programmed into him and
so because of that, he's open tothe world of snakes and lizards
(30:39):
and all kinds of things that somany people go ooh, yuck, keep
it away from me right, and I'mgoing to go to the extreme of
you know, if you are raised in aworld where orbs in the sky are
scary and that if you're livingin a world where multiple
(31:04):
countries around the world aretargeting, trying to destroy you
and your life which I think isreally common in the US to see
China and Russia and all kindsof places even now Mexico and
Canada, for Pete's sake they'regetting people to say we need to
be afraid of these guys, weneed to protect ourselves.
(31:27):
And then, all of a sudden,there's these unexplained drones
over the sky and in thebackground are these other
flying objects that people arebeing, you know, concerned with.
You know, if all of this is tobe afraid of, right, then you're
(31:48):
going to be overwhelmed rightnow.
And if you can take that fearback and say wait a second, I
don't have to be afraid of thesethings, I could choose to be
curious about them, the way myson is with snakes, right, I
could be curious about them.
(32:08):
I could see them as interesting.
Yeah, I suppose there's thechance that my son could be
wrong one day and pick up asnake that might hurt him.
I don't think that's likely.
Because I think that becausehe's curious about it, because
he feels comfortable with it.
He won't run from a snakebecause it's a snake.
(32:31):
He'll look at a snake and say,oh, that one's different,
because I know what I normallylook at.
He's got an awareness of thesethings, that that one is not the
kind of one I should be pickingup.
I've never seen one with thosecolors before.
I've never seen one in thatshape before.
Let me just step back and takea look for a second.
Then he has the right degree ofcaution because he's not just
(32:54):
plain afraid of snakes.
He is interested in snakes andknows that there are some to be
concerned about and some not tobe concerned about, and so I I
guess what I'm getting at isit's important to recognize when
you have been somehow trainedor raised to be afraid of things
(33:16):
that aren't necessarily fearful, necessarily fearful, and when
you are trained to seeeverything as fearful,
everything as attack, everythingas something for you.
You can't even listen to mywords right now For me
suggesting that everything thatyou're afraid of you don't need
(33:36):
to be afraid of.
You're going to say, les,you're nuts, you're crazy.
Don't be saying things likethat, because people will get
hurt because they're notsufficiently afraid of the
things they're supposed to beafraid of, which is everything,
right, everything, anythingthat's unusual we need to be
afraid of, and it becomes ournatural response to everything
(34:05):
response to everything, and soall I'm suggesting is that maybe
everything you become aware ofis much more a function of
advertisers trying to get yourattention, knowing that your
fears are such a dominant thingin your life that they can
trigger them in a heartbeat.
Right, and while you'regrabbing those YouTube videos
that are all about the drones,don't forget you had to watch
(34:27):
two ads before you could watchthat video, and you had to watch
two ads in the middle of thatvideo and you got offered two
more ads at the end of thatvideo.
And the only reason that videoexists on that platform is so
that they can show you someadvertising, because they don't
get paid because people posttheir videos.
They get paid becauseadvertisers want to be part of
them, and now, all of a sudden,I'm looking at this information
(34:50):
and I'm seeing it now issomething that's being offered
to me to try to make me afraid,so that I'll consume advertising
.
And being afraid means I can nowbe sold something, something
that might protect me from myfear.
And this is a cycle, and all Ican say is just be aware of it,
just allow yourself to be awareof it.
(35:10):
There's got to be some aspectof the things that you fear that
you can say I don't understandwhy we're afraid of that.
Now there's that 's.
I always use the phrase there'sthe door cracked open Right.
There's the opportunity toreconsider, to use the phrase
there's the door cracked openright.
There's the opportunity toreconsider, to use your mind, to
(35:32):
rethink this, to use your mindfor you, about you, with your
abilities, and say I don't knowthat I buy this.
I don't know that I'm going tolet myself get sucked into this.
I can be aware of this withouthaving it dominate my emotions.
I can be aware that this iswhat's going on in the world and
that, in truth, its likelihoodof affecting me is very small
(35:55):
and therefore I can be moreaware.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
I can be more aware, more critical, less engaged, and
observe it rather than becomeit, I suppose.
Yeah, if you can't be there inperson, you know.
I guess what I'm getting at isif you're not on the ground
filming the drones and whateverelse is up there, the only way
that that information gets to usis through what you feel about
this.
Have deeper critical thinkingwhen you're watching it, and
(36:51):
that will help to alleviate theanxieties or fears surrounding
it.
You know, I could go down arabbit hole with this.
I I think about, um, what cameto me before, uh, earlier, was
(37:11):
this idea that we were talkingabout earlier how people put
trust in the government right,and how, something like this,
where the government is, uh,what would you say tight-lipped,
like nothing coming out, theyfirst gaslit people saying that
(37:38):
there was nothing up there, andand now they're saying, okay,
yeah, there's some stuff upthere, it's not an issue, but
they're not coming out withthings, and so you have a whole
section of people that fearagain comes from trusting in the
government.
And then suddenly, well, howcan we trust the government?
(38:00):
They're not giving us theinformation we need, right?
So then there's another elementof fear, and we could you know?
I'm sure talk about that forages, but there's just so many
(38:22):
facets to you said to just takea step back whenever you're
consuming the information aboutit.
Number one, I mean what comes tomind is not believing every
video.
There's many made with AI, youknow, and it's hard, it's hard
to try to sift through those.
Many made with AI, you know,and it's hard, it's hard to try
(38:43):
to sift through those.
There's videos of peoplesensationalizing it, hyping the
fear.
So it's all out there, you know, and even, unfortunately,
people sharing this stuff, noteven the news networks, know
(39:05):
that fear sells.
People will watch my video if Ihave an element of excitement
or fear in it.
So just being critical aboutwhat you're consuming, and that
should alleviate a lot of, maybe, what's going on for you yeah,
(39:26):
and remember that emotions arethere for a reason.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
You know.
We like to reframe fear.
One of my favorite reframes forfear is that fear is a warning,
it's not a wall.
Fear is a warning, it's not awall.
Fear is a suggestion that theremight be something you should
be concerned about because therecould be some danger there.
But that doesn't mean you can'tact.
It just means that you probablyshould be thoughtful in your
(39:59):
actions.
So it's not to stop you fromdoing things, it's to warn you
that some things could in fact,you know, be dangerous.
So use the example of my sonagain, you know, for me.
I see a snake and my fear mightget the better of me and I jump
back and I say what the heck isthat?
And I get all upset.
But my son will do that oh,what's that?
(40:22):
Which is the perfect questionwhat's that?
Then he examines it and says,well, it's just a garden snake.
They're actually quite neat andthe way they move, they're so
different.
I like feeling them in my hands, I like looking at them with my
eyes.
It's a wholly differentinterpretation.
He still uses his fear responseand says, hey, hey, what's that
(40:45):
?
But he doesn't have a universalfear of everything, right?
So when you hear about thesethings and you have a fear
response, understand, it's awarning, not a wall.
You can examine it, you canconsider it and you can use that
conscious part of your mind,right, that incredibly powerful
(41:05):
thinking part of your mind, tosay well, what do I know?
What do I know?
What I know is that there's apicture here on a video.
That may or may not be true,that may or may not be accurate
to what was going on.
What I see is a picture of thiskind of dynamic, these kinds of
things.
What does that say to me.
Well, it says to me something'sup there in the sky, um, I
(41:27):
don't know what it is.
I turn to those in authoritythat I think should be able to
tell me, and they're not tellingme.
But they are telling me, hey,we, we're not concerned about it
, right, we don't know what itis, but we're not concerned
about it, which is really, in aworld so filled with fear,
shocking.
(41:47):
This government is not tellingyou to be afraid, right?
So there's a certain amount ofconfusion there, because you're
not getting the response younormally get.
But you can use your criticalthinking, your own ability to
use that conscious part of yourmind right, to think through and
(42:08):
to examine and collectinformation without jumping to
conclusions.
The emotion needs to beprocessed, right?
So I offer you this refrain Iam not my emotions, I am not my
feelings, I am the feeler of thefeelings, I am the one
(42:31):
experiencing the emotion.
The emotion is there to takecare of me, to help me live a
better life.
It's an indicator or asuggestion that something's
going on.
The emotion might be one ofhappiness, and then the
suggestion is to engage it.
The emotion might be one ofanger, which suggests I'm being
(42:55):
treated unfairly, and so I wantto.
I really want to address theperson or persons that are
treating me unfairly.
Or maybe what's best issomebody's treating me unfairly
and it's all because of them, soI'm just going to walk away
from it.
I'm just going to create adistance.
These emotions are there toguide us, to understand what
(43:18):
we're experiencing and tomotivate us to act in a way to
resolve the emotion, get theemotion to go away.
Carrying the emotion around isnot helpful.
So if you're feeling afraid, ofanything ask yourself what
you're afraid of.
Try to be clear and specific.
What is it that I'm actuallyafraid of?
(43:40):
Be sure, be confident whetheror not it's something that's
actually going to happen.
Is it that I'm actually afraidof?
Be sure, be confident whetheror not it's something that's
actually going to happen.
Is it really something thatcould happen?
Is it something that's going tohappen imminently, right right
now, right in front of me?
Is it going to happen now, oris it something that might
happen down the road?
Understanding what you'reafraid of allows you to then
strategize on how to respond toit and taking the time, using
(44:09):
that incredibly smart, consciousmind of yours to examine these
things and not let them justflow into activating fear and
then clinging to the fear.
Using these things, I am not myemotions, I am the feeler of the
emotions.
The emotion is here to bring mean awareness of what I might do
.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Take the time and think about what you might do.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
that would be helpful Without getting yourself in an
emotional state where thinkingstarts to become impossible.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I think that was a goodchat, hopefully it helps people.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Yeah, I think awareness of how our mind works
and awareness of how we're usingour mind is the most important
first step if you really want tolive a life of happiness is the
most important first step Ifyou really want to live a life
of happiness and curiosity andcreativity and joy.
We have to understand thethings that are interfering with
(45:15):
that and that's usually howwe're using our mind.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
Yeah, yeah, the mind got us into it.
It can get us out of it yeah,yeah, our mind got us into it,
it can get us out of it.
There you go, all right, allright, okay.
So have a good day and we'llsee you later.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
We hope you enjoyed today's podcast and that maybe
it helped Even a little, so havea good day and we'll see you
later.
For more information abouthypnosis and the various online
or in-person services we provide, please visit our website
wwwpsalmhypnosiscom.
The link is in the notes below.
(46:10):
While you're there, why don'tyou book a free one-hour journey
, meeting with Hillary or Les,to learn more about what
hypnosis is and how you mightuse it to make your life what
you want it to be?
Bye for now.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Talk to you tomorrow, thank you.
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