October 29, 2025 • 23 mins
Holiday magic loses its shine when our schedules overflow and our confidence takes a hit. We’ve been there—wrapping gifts at midnight, missing the moments we wanted to savor, and second-guessing our choices. So we put together a practical, heart-forward confidence reset built on four pillars: body, family connection, schedule, and mindset. It’s not about doing more. It’s about aligning with what actually matters and creating room to feel present.
We start with body confidence by choosing energy over appearance. Think five-minute morning rituals, hydration, gentle movement, and dressing for joy in colors that love you back. Add simple, science-supported cues—a mirror high-five, a quick power pose, and attunement to your body’s signals—to steady your day when gatherings, sugar, and late nights ramp up.
Family connection deepens when we plan small moments before the chaos. We map one-on-one time with kids and partners, set kind but firm boundaries, and build anchors—Friday movie night, Sunday cocoa, or a shared playlist—that give the week a reliable rhythm. Authenticity sits at the core: when we show up as ourselves, connection feels easy and confidence grows.
On the schedule front, we walk through a three-step confidence calendar reset: brain dump everything, highlight what truly matters, and cross out or delegate the rest. Then we put priorities on the calendar now, move plans instead of deleting them, and protect white space for recovery and spontaneity. For mindset, we swap I have to for I get to, use simple affirmations, journal on what the confident version of us would choose, stop the comparison spiral, and deploy the 5-4-3-2-1 rule to take the next step. We wrap with a free giant holiday calendar to help your family plan with clarity and calm.
If this helped you breathe easier, tap follow, share it with a friend who needs holiday peace, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find the show.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ciera (00:03):
You're listening to Confidently Beautiful with
Cieraa, a podcast to help youstay confidently beautiful
because we all have confidenceinside us.
We just need to bring it out,and I'm here to show you how.
Body image, dreams, parentingstyle, personality, and more.
Here we cover it all.
Get ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
This time of year can bebeautiful and busy all at once.
(00:28):
Between all of the familygatherings, all of our endless
to-do list, and trying to makethis beautiful season magical
for our kids, our confidence canreally take a hit.
So today I want to help youreset your confidence before the
holidays even begin.
Today we're going to focus onbody, family connection,
schedule, and mindset because Ithink these are four areas with
(00:48):
our confidence that can reallykind of struggle during this
holiday season.
With so much that we have goingon and all the things that we
are doing, we don't want thesefour things to struggle at all.
And so I'm going to hopefullyhelp to give some strategies to
help prep yourself so thatyou're not letting these areas
of your life take confidencedive.
When I was in my very, veryfirst early holiday years as a
(01:11):
parent, I found myself oftenwrapping presents Christmas Eve,
or missing all of the momentsthat I really wanted to enjoy
with my family, or going anddoing the traditions that we
wanted to do, but not actuallylike being fully there and
present for them.
Like I was still in the back ofmy mind thinking all these
things that I wanted to getdone, all the things that we're
(01:34):
slacking on, and all the thingsthat I still wanted to have
happen that hadn't yet happened.
So as I have learned as theholidays have come and gone as
my with my kids and being a mom,I've learned to start
practicing getting things readya lot earlier.
So I get things ready forChristmas as early as September.
(01:54):
Like I really want it to bedone and the lists are made.
It's helped me to have mybetter family connection time.
It's helped me with my scheduleto be able to get the things on
my schedule that are priority.
It has helped with my mindsetbecause I haven't been
overwhelmed.
I've been feeling like I amconfidently on top of things.
(02:17):
And it has helped with mybudget as well because I have
been confident with my spending.
I know exactly what I am tryingto buy.
There were so many Christmasesthat I would be wrapping
presents and, like, oh my gosh,I have so many presents.
Like I spent so much money, andthere were so many times that I
really didn't need that manygifts for my kids.
(02:38):
My kids definitely would havebeen happy with less gifts.
And the financial pillar of mylife has definitely increased
with confidence as I haveprepared more for the holidays
times and prepared in advance soI know exactly what I'm buying
and I can buy things withconfidence.
So let's dive in to confidencein your body.
So reconnecting with your bodyin a way that feels nurturing
(03:00):
and not critical.
There can be a lot of times inthis holiday season where there
is a lot of food involved.
There is a lot of sugar.
There is a lot of exhaustionfrom going and going and going.
But confidence starts with howyou treat your body and not how
it looks.
So I think reminding ourselvesof this as we are getting into
the end of the year, maybe wehad some goals that we wanted to
(03:23):
set for that this year.
And we're getting to the end ofthe year and we're like, wow, I
did not hit my health or bodygoals that I was wanting to.
So to protect ourselves fromfeeling less confident that we
maybe didn't hit our goals, butto be more focusing on how we
are feeling, focus on our energyinstead of our appearance.
I think that can be reallyhelpful as we're entering this
holiday season when you'rereflecting on maybe some
(03:45):
physical goals that you had forthe year.
And also as you are gettingtired a lot easier because
you're doing so much more thistime of year than maybe other
times.
And there's a lot more foodaround, like every gathering
this time of year, it seemsthere is food involved.
So try to focus more on whatthe food that we're eating is
(04:07):
making us feel and the thingsthat we are doing, how that is
helping with our energy.
That can really help to feelmore confident in our bodies.
You could try a body resetritual.
So maybe like five minutes ofstretching or hydration first
thing in the morning, or maybetake a walk outside in the
morning.
And if you can start your daywith some sort of small ritual
(04:28):
to help you with your body andto feel good in your body, then
I think this can be reallyhelpful, especially this time of
year when things can get sohectic and busy.
Also try dressing for joy.
Choose outfits that feel likeyou, outfits that allow like
comfort and movement, but yetyou still feel put together.
Add some color that is good foryour skin.
I recently did a color analysison which is one of the free
(04:51):
apps, and it was so interestingto hear what I am.
I am a warm autumn apparently,and so to look in my closet and
see like, oh yeah, that'sprobably why I never want to
wear that outfit because that isnot a color that naturally
looks good on me.
So I think that is a really funthing that maybe you could try
this holiday season is figureout what your color palette is
(05:12):
and start to maybe dress in yourcolors that are best for you.
Some other things that you cando to help boost your body
confidence and your self-esteemis do what Mel Robins suggests
in her high five habit.
Give yourself a high five inthe mirror every morning.
This can help boost yourself-trust and your body
confidence.
So greet yourself in themorning with a high five in the
(05:35):
mirror.
There is a lot of research thatMel talks about, about how this
is so beneficial for yourconfidence and for your
self-worth if you give yourselfa high five in the mirror.
In the book, The Body KeepsScore.
This book talks about howturning into your body helps
regulate stress and confidence.
So being aware of like what weare feeling in our body and all
(05:55):
of the environments that we arein, the past experiences that we
have had, and how our body isreacting to situations.
This can help us to be moreaware and to regulate our
stress, which is going to makeus feel more confident.
Harvard Health has done someresearch on the power pose.
You know, you can see it withthe hands on the hips, just
looking up and how this powerpose can really affect our body
(06:17):
language and our confidencecues.
So high-five yourself in themirror, do a power pose,
whatever it is that you need todo to get your body to be
feeling confident and to remindyourself that you are beautiful
just the way you are, and it'show we feel that really matters,
not how we look.
Confidence and familyconnection.
The holidays are a time forfamily, right?
And so feeling confident inyour role and your interactions
(06:40):
is really important.
So if we're feeling confidentin those roles and confident
with our interactions with ourfamily members and not walking
away feeling drained, then ourconfidence, our confidence is
going to grow.
That is the goal, right?
So reconnect before the chaos.
So plan like some intentionalconnection moments with each
family member.
So maybe before December hits,try and have a walk with some
(07:04):
family members, a special movienight or a car chat, or if you
see someone's going to run anerror and maybe say, Hey, can I
go with you and go with them andspend that one-on-one quality
time?
If we can spend realintentional connected time with
people one-on-one, then when weare in big group gatherings, I
find that that really helps theconnection of the group as a
(07:25):
whole.
And so finding those momentswhere you can take just those
little intentional connectionmoments are going to be really
helpful as we are getting in thebusyness of the holiday season.
I know I think of my kids.
My kids are going to, I mean,they're going to be overwhelmed,
they're going to beoverstimulated, just like I am.
And they're going to have allthe fun and excitement things
(07:45):
going on, and they're going toneed that connection.
They're going to need that toknow that they can rely on me
and that I am there for them.
And so having those quietmoments where we can have some
one-on-one time, going for awalk, playing a game, extra
cuddles in bed before they go tosleep, whatever it is, having
those times for reconnection isreally important.
(08:06):
And also setting emotionalboundaries early.
So learn for the times that youwant to say no, or I'm sorry, I
can't do that this year.
You can be kind about it, butyou can be firm in your
boundaries and setting thoseboundaries.
So think now, like it's onlyOctober right now, but what do
you want your holidays to looklike in November and December?
(08:27):
Do you want to be committing tocertain things?
Do you know that there's somethings that maybe you've done in
the past that you don't want todo?
So setting up those emotionalboundaries now can be really
helpful with family members andeven friends as we are trying to
protect those relationships,but also those connections.
And then maybe we can think ofalternatives that we could do to
help keep that connection withthat person, but also protecting
(08:49):
our boundaries.
This can also go with likeconversations, like things that
you know, like I don't want tobe talking about this at the
Thanksgiving table.
I don't want to be havingconversations about this.
You can maybe even like thinkof some responses that you would
say if you found yourself in asituation with some family
members of conversations thatmaybe make you feel drained or
less confident or just don'tmake you feel like your best
(09:13):
self and conversations that youmaybe don't want to be having.
And you can keep thoseboundaries while still being
kind and protecting thatconnection.
One thing as I have beenraising a neurodivergent child
that I have noticed has beenreally helpful is to have
anchors.
So have like things that weknow are always going to happen.
We know in our family, Fridaynight is pizza movie night.
(09:35):
That's just what it is.
That's what it's always beenfor as long as I can remember.
And having those anchors, Ithink, at this time is really
important when it things are sobusy and your schedule is going
to be a little bit differentthan normal.
If you can find something thatcan stay consistent and it's
just a small family traditionthat just grounds you and just
(09:56):
reminds you of what reallymatters and the routine and the
people that really matter, thenthese anchors can be really
helpful as the holiday chaos isgoing around.
So, like I said, family FridayFamily Movie Night is ours, but
other suggestions could be likeSunday cocoa night or having a
gratitude jar or a morningplaylist that maybe you listen
(10:18):
to like the same morning songevery morning.
Uh, there's another one that wedo in our family as kind of an
anchor is school is a hard thingfor a lot of kids, but
especially for ourneurodivergent kiddo, like it's
hard for the transition frombeing home to going to school.
And so they have an affirmationsong.
It's the Snoop Dogg affirmationsong that um they will listen
(10:41):
to in the car on the way toschool every morning.
And that having that anchor,it's like a trigger for your
mind that, like, okay, this thistransition is coming or like
I'm safe.
This is like this is part of myroutine, maybe if other things
are different that day.
So in this busy, busy holidayseason, finding like some sort
of holiday anchor could bereally fun.
So those anchors are anchorsthat we have throughout the
(11:03):
year.
But if you want to find asimple like family tradition
just for this holiday season,that can help to bring you
together as a family and to knowthat like it is consistently
going to happen every week orwhatever it is that you choose
for your holiday anchor.
Maybe it's a daily thing, maybeit's a weekly thing.
I think that can be reallybeneficial in helping your
relationships stay strong andconnected.
(11:26):
In Brene Brown's book, TheGifts of Imperfection, she talks
about how authenticity is thekey to confident connection.
So being authentic with thepeople around us.
We're not going to feel likewe're connected to our family
members if we're not beingourselves.
So I think that's where thoseboundaries that I talked about
come into play and like settingup your boundaries beforehand,
going into situations, knowinglike how you feel about things
(11:50):
and not being afraid to standyour ground for respectfully for
what you believe, um, but alsobeing yourself, going into
situations and just like totallybeing you, letting your family
see the true you and laughingand having fun and just being
yourself.
Authenticity is so important inconnection.
(12:10):
You can't have a real genuineconnection if you're not being
authentic.
And confidence in yourschedule.
So feeling calm and in controlof your time is going to really
help you to feel confident thisholiday season.
As there's so much going on,knowing what you have on your
schedule and what is importantto you will help you to feel
more confident.
So overbooking is going todestroy your confidence.
(12:32):
So do not overbook.
Don't spread yourself too thin,especially this holiday season.
We want to be enjoying it.
Our goal is to enjoy life.
We want joy in our life.
We want to feel confident.
So don't overbook yourself.
And do a confidence calendarreset now.
So write down all the thingsthat you know that you are going
to be committed to this holidayseason.
That was your step one.
(12:53):
So just write it all out.
Step two, highlight what trulymatters to you and your family.
What brings your family joy?
What is in line with yourfamily values?
What are your priorities?
Which of those things on thatlist that you just made are
actually going to really matterto you?
And step three is going toeither cross out, just
(13:16):
completely say this doesn'tmatter this year, or delegate
the rest of the things.
Is there something on the listthat you didn't highlight that
like you could turn over tosomeone else that you didn't
that you don't necessarily needto do yourself?
Is there something on that listthat maybe actually doesn't
really matter?
Like, do you really need to dothat thing that you think that
you need to do?
I know for me, something that Ihave crossed off, I I crossed
(13:39):
it off my list a couple yearsago and I honestly don't think
anyone has noticed.
But I crossed off Christmascards.
I don't send Christmas cards.
Sometimes I will do a virtualcard where I send a picture and
say, Merry Christmas, we loveyou.
But I don't, I don't take thetime to design the cards, print
them, and mail them to all myfamily and friends.
(14:00):
Maybe that makes me terrible,but that is something for me
with my schedule and mybandwidth and like the time that
I want to take.
I just did not want to put thetime into doing that.
And hopefully my friends andfamily know that we love them
anyways, and we're thinkingabout them, but I don't know.
I just feel like sometimes asocial media or a text one can
be good enough, and that isokay.
So don't feel bad aboutcrossing things off your list or
(14:23):
delegating things that you feellike are not what truly matter
to you.
And then once you have yourthings highlighted, like the
things that really matter, it'sso important to actually
schedule them, like and to makeit so that those things actually
happen.
So schedule them now or they'renot gonna happen.
(14:43):
And then as the season is goingon, maybe you scheduled
something, maybe you said thatyou wanted to go and look at
Christmas lights and drivearound and look at Christmas
lights on this night, but thenyou find out that your kid has
acquired a performance thatnight.
Well, that's okay.
We're not going to cross thatitem off our list, we're just
gonna move it to another day.
So it's still gonna happenbecause it was still on our
(15:04):
calendar.
We're just going to adjust andmove things to a different day.
So never cross things off, butit's okay to move things around.
But put them on your calendarnow, even if it's a tentative
plan, so that you know that it'sgoing to happen.
And I think it's also reallyimportant, especially for kids,
as they need that downtime, buteven for moms, even for adults,
like we need downtime too.
(15:24):
So build in white space, havebuffer days or no plans for
certain days.
Give yourself room to breathe,and this is going to help you
feel a lot more confident inyour schedule and also give room
for things that pop up thatactually really do matter to
you, and you feel like you canstill fit them into your
schedule.
Confidence grows when you keeppromises to yourself.
So even these small ones like abedtime routine or a workout,
(15:49):
trying to not fall out of theroutines and the normal things
that you're doing is going to bereally helpful with your
confidence in your schedule thisholiday season.
Don't let the busyness of theholidays allow you to break
promises that you've made toyourself.
Keep the promises that you'vemade to yourself.
Keep up with your routines,keep up with your family dinner,
whatever it is that's importantto you that you do throughout
(16:10):
the year.
Trying to keep up on thosethings is going to help you feel
more confident in your schedulethis holiday season.
And confidence in our mindset.
So resetting our mental habitsnow to support a calm and
joyful, confident season isgoing to be really important.
So replace your I have to blankwith I get to blank.
This is going to shift ourgratitude and our energy and
(16:33):
help us to feel more gratefulfor the things that we get to
do, not the things that we haveto do.
Practice self-self-affirmations like I am
enough even when I do less.
I am creating a joyful seasoneven if my kids aren't getting
everything that they're askingfor.
Whatever those affirmationsare, that will help our mindset
to believe that we are doing thebest that we can and that we
(16:56):
are the person who we need to befor this holiday season that
will help us to just feel moreconfident and at peace.
What I love to do is a journal,and you can have a holiday
journal, you can have like anykind of type of notebook,
whatever, and just say, whatwould the confident version of
me choose this holiday season?
Reflect on that now.
How you would feel confident.
What would you do if you werethis holiday season, if you were
(17:19):
that confident person?
How would that person look?
How would she act?
How would she talk to herself?
What is she going to be doing?
And so to be doing that journalprompt before the business
starts and then to continuejournaling as the holiday season
goes on.
Continue and journal thoseconfident moments where you feel
confident and where you noticedthat you were shining and you
(17:40):
were sticking to your boundariesand you were increasing those
family connections and you weredoing all the things that you
are working so hard to do,especially now as we are doing
this work before all thecraziness starts, so that we can
prep ourselves to feel moreconfident.
And limit comparison.
Confidence expands when youdefine your success in your own
(18:00):
terms, not when you're lookingat the success of other people
and comparing where you are towhere they are, because where we
are in our story is going to bedifferent where the other
person is.
They were may have been wherewe are now, but we just can't
see that.
We don't know where they were.
And we all we can see is wherethey are right now.
And we don't know all of thecircumstances, and we don't
(18:22):
know, we just there's just somuch that we don't know.
We're creating our own storywhen we're comparing.
When we look at somebody andwe're comparing ourselves to
them, then we are creating ourown story.
I am so guilty of this.
I do this all the time.
Where I look at someone andthink, oh man, they just have it
all.
They've they've succeeded inthis business.
Their kids are so much so wellbehaved.
(18:42):
And like I just create thisstory about how they are just
like this rock star person, andI'm comparing myself to them
where I don't know what happensbehind closed doors.
I don't know what they had towalk through to get to where
they are now.
And so trying to avoidcomparing ourselves can help to
protect our mindset and ourconfidence in ourself.
(19:03):
When our confidence feels low,I'm gonna go back to Mel
Robbins.
She's just one of my favoritepeople.
She talks about the five-secondrule.
So she has her five-five habitand she also has the five-second
rule.
And the five-second rule iswhere if she doesn't want to do
something, she's scared to dosomething, she's feeling like
doubtful about something, shecounts backwards from five.
Five, four, three, two, one,and then she just does it.
(19:26):
And this can help to buildmomentum and it can also help us
when our confidence is feelinglow.
So if we tell ourselves, I'mjust doing it, five, four,
three, two, one, and then wejust do it, then we are
naturally going to build ourconfidence.
Our confidence is going toincrease just because we are
pushing ourselves to do it.
Our confidence shines when weare expressing our joy, whether
it's through our style orthrough our creativity or
(19:50):
through our traditions.
So find your way that you canjust express your joy this
holiday season.
Decorate for the holidays,dress up for the holidays, give
gifts in a way that feels trueto you and doesn't necessarily
need to go along with thetrends.
We're going to be seeing somuch going on on social media
from all the influencers saying,this is the best list for
(20:11):
toddler gifts.
This is the best sister giftlist.
This is what your husband wantsthis Christmas.
But we don't need to go alongwith those trends.
We don't need to get the numberone bestsellers on Amazon.
We can just get the gifts thatfeel like they are authentic to
us because again, authenticityis going to bring that
connection and that confidence.
And confidence doesn't need tobe loud.
(20:32):
It's just what our alignmentis.
Confidence is just going toalign to what we believe and
what we feel.
Confidence isn't something youhave to find.
It's something you resetthrough small intentional
choices before all of thisholiday craziness begins.
So we don't need to search forit.
We have it.
Confidence is in us.
Let's just do this reset and wecan find our confidence in our
(20:53):
small intentional choices.
So just choose one of theseareas.
We talked about body, we talkedabout family connection, we
talked about schedule, we talkedabout mindset.
Just pick one of these and tryand commit to it this week.
What are you going to do tohelp improve yourself in this
area with your confidence as weare getting into this busy
holiday season?
You are confidently beautifulinside and out, and this holiday
(21:14):
season let's let confidencelead the way.
And I have a freebie for you,okay?
We've talked about familyconnection, we've talked about
scheduling.
So this one is gonna go greatwith both of those uh because
this is a super cute bigprintable calendar for November
and December.
So I recommend going to yourlocal print shop and getting the
(21:35):
architectural print.
This is like a big 24 by 36print, so you can put it on a
wall somewhere where your familycan see.
You can put it on the back of acloset door, uh, just somewhere
where your whole family can seeit.
And I want you to just take thetime to just get a piece of
paper, write down all thethings, have your kids tell you
all the things that areimportant to them this holiday
season, have your spouse tellyou, you write down all of your
(21:58):
important things and just braindump everything on there, and
then also the things that youknow will be happening.
Put all of that on the paper,then go through and highlight,
like I said when we were talkingabout our scheduling section,
go through and highlight thethings that are most important,
the priorities, the big things,and then go ahead and put them
on the calendar.
Put them on the calendar that Imade for you, have them
(22:18):
penciled in.
You can always erase them andmove them around, but we're not
going to erase them and not letthem happen, right?
We want them to happen thiscomp this holiday season so that
we can feel confident that weare living the holidays the way
that we want to and getting ourpriorities met and all of the
memories created.
So let's have a holiday seasonfull of joyful memories and
family connection.
(22:39):
So you can go to the link inthe show notes to download this
calendar.
It's totally free and you canfill it out for you and your
family, or you can head toconfidentexpression.com and
click on the freebies tab, andyou will be led to where you can
download it.
So I hope that this is fun foryou and that you can share this
with some of your friends andfamily who maybe want this fun
(22:59):
calendar, and we can all have ajoyful, happy, and confident
holiday season.
Thank you for listening anduntil next time, stay
confidently beautiful.
If you've been wanting to boostyour confidence in a simple but
meaningful way, my new dailyconfidence journals are here.
Each page starts with today Ifelt confident when to help you
(23:21):
notice and celebrate youreveryday wins.
The rainbow collection comes inseven gorgeous colors with
really fun designs, and you cangrab yours now at
confidentexpression.com.
Thanks for listening.
Connect with me on Instagram atConfidently Beautiful Podcast
and share this episode withsomeone in your life who could
use a little reminder of justhow amazing they already are.
(23:43):
Stay Confidently Beautiful.
You're listening to Confidently Beautiful with
Cieraa, a podcast to help youstay confidently beautiful
because we all have confidenceinside us.
We just need to bring it out,and I'm here to show you how.
Body image, dreams, parentingstyle, personality, and more.
Here we cover it all.
Get ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
This time of year can bebeautiful and busy all at once.
(00:28):
Between all of the familygatherings, all of our endless
to-do list, and trying to makethis beautiful season magical
for our kids, our confidence canreally take a hit.
So today I want to help youreset your confidence before the
holidays even begin.
Today we're going to focus onbody, family connection,
schedule, and mindset because Ithink these are four areas with
(00:48):
our confidence that can reallykind of struggle during this
holiday season.
With so much that we have goingon and all the things that we
are doing, we don't want thesefour things to struggle at all.
And so I'm going to hopefullyhelp to give some strategies to
help prep yourself so thatyou're not letting these areas
of your life take confidencedive.
When I was in my very, veryfirst early holiday years as a
(01:11):
parent, I found myself oftenwrapping presents Christmas Eve,
or missing all of the momentsthat I really wanted to enjoy
with my family, or going anddoing the traditions that we
wanted to do, but not actuallylike being fully there and
present for them.
Like I was still in the back ofmy mind thinking all these
things that I wanted to getdone, all the things that we're
(01:34):
slacking on, and all the thingsthat I still wanted to have
happen that hadn't yet happened.
So as I have learned as theholidays have come and gone as
my with my kids and being a mom,I've learned to start
practicing getting things readya lot earlier.
So I get things ready forChristmas as early as September.
(01:54):
Like I really want it to bedone and the lists are made.
It's helped me to have mybetter family connection time.
It's helped me with my scheduleto be able to get the things on
my schedule that are priority.
It has helped with my mindsetbecause I haven't been
overwhelmed.
I've been feeling like I amconfidently on top of things.
(02:17):
And it has helped with mybudget as well because I have
been confident with my spending.
I know exactly what I am tryingto buy.
There were so many Christmasesthat I would be wrapping
presents and, like, oh my gosh,I have so many presents.
Like I spent so much money, andthere were so many times that I
really didn't need that manygifts for my kids.
(02:38):
My kids definitely would havebeen happy with less gifts.
And the financial pillar of mylife has definitely increased
with confidence as I haveprepared more for the holidays
times and prepared in advance soI know exactly what I'm buying
and I can buy things withconfidence.
So let's dive in to confidencein your body.
So reconnecting with your bodyin a way that feels nurturing
(03:00):
and not critical.
There can be a lot of times inthis holiday season where there
is a lot of food involved.
There is a lot of sugar.
There is a lot of exhaustionfrom going and going and going.
But confidence starts with howyou treat your body and not how
it looks.
So I think reminding ourselvesof this as we are getting into
the end of the year, maybe wehad some goals that we wanted to
(03:23):
set for that this year.
And we're getting to the end ofthe year and we're like, wow, I
did not hit my health or bodygoals that I was wanting to.
So to protect ourselves fromfeeling less confident that we
maybe didn't hit our goals, butto be more focusing on how we
are feeling, focus on our energyinstead of our appearance.
I think that can be reallyhelpful as we're entering this
holiday season when you'rereflecting on maybe some
(03:45):
physical goals that you had forthe year.
And also as you are gettingtired a lot easier because
you're doing so much more thistime of year than maybe other
times.
And there's a lot more foodaround, like every gathering
this time of year, it seemsthere is food involved.
So try to focus more on whatthe food that we're eating is
(04:07):
making us feel and the thingsthat we are doing, how that is
helping with our energy.
That can really help to feelmore confident in our bodies.
You could try a body resetritual.
So maybe like five minutes ofstretching or hydration first
thing in the morning, or maybetake a walk outside in the
morning.
And if you can start your daywith some sort of small ritual
(04:28):
to help you with your body andto feel good in your body, then
I think this can be reallyhelpful, especially this time of
year when things can get sohectic and busy.
Also try dressing for joy.
Choose outfits that feel likeyou, outfits that allow like
comfort and movement, but yetyou still feel put together.
Add some color that is good foryour skin.
I recently did a color analysison which is one of the free
(04:51):
apps, and it was so interestingto hear what I am.
I am a warm autumn apparently,and so to look in my closet and
see like, oh yeah, that'sprobably why I never want to
wear that outfit because that isnot a color that naturally
looks good on me.
So I think that is a really funthing that maybe you could try
this holiday season is figureout what your color palette is
(05:12):
and start to maybe dress in yourcolors that are best for you.
Some other things that you cando to help boost your body
confidence and your self-esteemis do what Mel Robins suggests
in her high five habit.
Give yourself a high five inthe mirror every morning.
This can help boost yourself-trust and your body
confidence.
So greet yourself in themorning with a high five in the
(05:35):
mirror.
There is a lot of research thatMel talks about, about how this
is so beneficial for yourconfidence and for your
self-worth if you give yourselfa high five in the mirror.
In the book, The Body KeepsScore.
This book talks about howturning into your body helps
regulate stress and confidence.
So being aware of like what weare feeling in our body and all
(05:55):
of the environments that we arein, the past experiences that we
have had, and how our body isreacting to situations.
This can help us to be moreaware and to regulate our
stress, which is going to makeus feel more confident.
Harvard Health has done someresearch on the power pose.
You know, you can see it withthe hands on the hips, just
looking up and how this powerpose can really affect our body
(06:17):
language and our confidencecues.
So high-five yourself in themirror, do a power pose,
whatever it is that you need todo to get your body to be
feeling confident and to remindyourself that you are beautiful
just the way you are, and it'show we feel that really matters,
not how we look.
Confidence and familyconnection.
The holidays are a time forfamily, right?
And so feeling confident inyour role and your interactions
(06:40):
is really important.
So if we're feeling confidentin those roles and confident
with our interactions with ourfamily members and not walking
away feeling drained, then ourconfidence, our confidence is
going to grow.
That is the goal, right?
So reconnect before the chaos.
So plan like some intentionalconnection moments with each
family member.
So maybe before December hits,try and have a walk with some
(07:04):
family members, a special movienight or a car chat, or if you
see someone's going to run anerror and maybe say, Hey, can I
go with you and go with them andspend that one-on-one quality
time?
If we can spend realintentional connected time with
people one-on-one, then when weare in big group gatherings, I
find that that really helps theconnection of the group as a
(07:25):
whole.
And so finding those momentswhere you can take just those
little intentional connectionmoments are going to be really
helpful as we are getting in thebusyness of the holiday season.
I know I think of my kids.
My kids are going to, I mean,they're going to be overwhelmed,
they're going to beoverstimulated, just like I am.
And they're going to have allthe fun and excitement things
(07:45):
going on, and they're going toneed that connection.
They're going to need that toknow that they can rely on me
and that I am there for them.
And so having those quietmoments where we can have some
one-on-one time, going for awalk, playing a game, extra
cuddles in bed before they go tosleep, whatever it is, having
those times for reconnection isreally important.
(08:06):
And also setting emotionalboundaries early.
So learn for the times that youwant to say no, or I'm sorry, I
can't do that this year.
You can be kind about it, butyou can be firm in your
boundaries and setting thoseboundaries.
So think now, like it's onlyOctober right now, but what do
you want your holidays to looklike in November and December?
(08:27):
Do you want to be committing tocertain things?
Do you know that there's somethings that maybe you've done in
the past that you don't want todo?
So setting up those emotionalboundaries now can be really
helpful with family members andeven friends as we are trying to
protect those relationships,but also those connections.
And then maybe we can think ofalternatives that we could do to
help keep that connection withthat person, but also protecting
(08:49):
our boundaries.
This can also go with likeconversations, like things that
you know, like I don't want tobe talking about this at the
Thanksgiving table.
I don't want to be havingconversations about this.
You can maybe even like thinkof some responses that you would
say if you found yourself in asituation with some family
members of conversations thatmaybe make you feel drained or
less confident or just don'tmake you feel like your best
(09:13):
self and conversations that youmaybe don't want to be having.
And you can keep thoseboundaries while still being
kind and protecting thatconnection.
One thing as I have beenraising a neurodivergent child
that I have noticed has beenreally helpful is to have
anchors.
So have like things that weknow are always going to happen.
We know in our family, Fridaynight is pizza movie night.
(09:35):
That's just what it is.
That's what it's always beenfor as long as I can remember.
And having those anchors, Ithink, at this time is really
important when it things are sobusy and your schedule is going
to be a little bit differentthan normal.
If you can find something thatcan stay consistent and it's
just a small family traditionthat just grounds you and just
(09:56):
reminds you of what reallymatters and the routine and the
people that really matter, thenthese anchors can be really
helpful as the holiday chaos isgoing around.
So, like I said, family FridayFamily Movie Night is ours, but
other suggestions could be likeSunday cocoa night or having a
gratitude jar or a morningplaylist that maybe you listen
(10:18):
to like the same morning songevery morning.
Uh, there's another one that wedo in our family as kind of an
anchor is school is a hard thingfor a lot of kids, but
especially for ourneurodivergent kiddo, like it's
hard for the transition frombeing home to going to school.
And so they have an affirmationsong.
It's the Snoop Dogg affirmationsong that um they will listen
(10:41):
to in the car on the way toschool every morning.
And that having that anchor,it's like a trigger for your
mind that, like, okay, this thistransition is coming or like
I'm safe.
This is like this is part of myroutine, maybe if other things
are different that day.
So in this busy, busy holidayseason, finding like some sort
of holiday anchor could bereally fun.
So those anchors are anchorsthat we have throughout the
(11:03):
year.
But if you want to find asimple like family tradition
just for this holiday season,that can help to bring you
together as a family and to knowthat like it is consistently
going to happen every week orwhatever it is that you choose
for your holiday anchor.
Maybe it's a daily thing, maybeit's a weekly thing.
I think that can be reallybeneficial in helping your
relationships stay strong andconnected.
(11:26):
In Brene Brown's book, TheGifts of Imperfection, she talks
about how authenticity is thekey to confident connection.
So being authentic with thepeople around us.
We're not going to feel likewe're connected to our family
members if we're not beingourselves.
So I think that's where thoseboundaries that I talked about
come into play and like settingup your boundaries beforehand,
going into situations, knowinglike how you feel about things
(11:50):
and not being afraid to standyour ground for respectfully for
what you believe, um, but alsobeing yourself, going into
situations and just like totallybeing you, letting your family
see the true you and laughingand having fun and just being
yourself.
Authenticity is so important inconnection.
(12:10):
You can't have a real genuineconnection if you're not being
authentic.
And confidence in yourschedule.
So feeling calm and in controlof your time is going to really
help you to feel confident thisholiday season.
As there's so much going on,knowing what you have on your
schedule and what is importantto you will help you to feel
more confident.
So overbooking is going todestroy your confidence.
(12:32):
So do not overbook.
Don't spread yourself too thin,especially this holiday season.
We want to be enjoying it.
Our goal is to enjoy life.
We want joy in our life.
We want to feel confident.
So don't overbook yourself.
And do a confidence calendarreset now.
So write down all the thingsthat you know that you are going
to be committed to this holidayseason.
That was your step one.
(12:53):
So just write it all out.
Step two, highlight what trulymatters to you and your family.
What brings your family joy?
What is in line with yourfamily values?
What are your priorities?
Which of those things on thatlist that you just made are
actually going to really matterto you?
And step three is going toeither cross out, just
(13:16):
completely say this doesn'tmatter this year, or delegate
the rest of the things.
Is there something on the listthat you didn't highlight that
like you could turn over tosomeone else that you didn't
that you don't necessarily needto do yourself?
Is there something on that listthat maybe actually doesn't
really matter?
Like, do you really need to dothat thing that you think that
you need to do?
I know for me, something that Ihave crossed off, I I crossed
(13:39):
it off my list a couple yearsago and I honestly don't think
anyone has noticed.
But I crossed off Christmascards.
I don't send Christmas cards.
Sometimes I will do a virtualcard where I send a picture and
say, Merry Christmas, we loveyou.
But I don't, I don't take thetime to design the cards, print
them, and mail them to all myfamily and friends.
(14:00):
Maybe that makes me terrible,but that is something for me
with my schedule and mybandwidth and like the time that
I want to take.
I just did not want to put thetime into doing that.
And hopefully my friends andfamily know that we love them
anyways, and we're thinkingabout them, but I don't know.
I just feel like sometimes asocial media or a text one can
be good enough, and that isokay.
So don't feel bad aboutcrossing things off your list or
(14:23):
delegating things that you feellike are not what truly matter
to you.
And then once you have yourthings highlighted, like the
things that really matter, it'sso important to actually
schedule them, like and to makeit so that those things actually
happen.
So schedule them now or they'renot gonna happen.
(14:43):
And then as the season is goingon, maybe you scheduled
something, maybe you said thatyou wanted to go and look at
Christmas lights and drivearound and look at Christmas
lights on this night, but thenyou find out that your kid has
acquired a performance thatnight.
Well, that's okay.
We're not going to cross thatitem off our list, we're just
gonna move it to another day.
So it's still gonna happenbecause it was still on our
(15:04):
calendar.
We're just going to adjust andmove things to a different day.
So never cross things off, butit's okay to move things around.
But put them on your calendarnow, even if it's a tentative
plan, so that you know that it'sgoing to happen.
And I think it's also reallyimportant, especially for kids,
as they need that downtime, buteven for moms, even for adults,
like we need downtime too.
(15:24):
So build in white space, havebuffer days or no plans for
certain days.
Give yourself room to breathe,and this is going to help you
feel a lot more confident inyour schedule and also give room
for things that pop up thatactually really do matter to
you, and you feel like you canstill fit them into your
schedule.
Confidence grows when you keeppromises to yourself.
So even these small ones like abedtime routine or a workout,
(15:49):
trying to not fall out of theroutines and the normal things
that you're doing is going to bereally helpful with your
confidence in your schedule thisholiday season.
Don't let the busyness of theholidays allow you to break
promises that you've made toyourself.
Keep the promises that you'vemade to yourself.
Keep up with your routines,keep up with your family dinner,
whatever it is that's importantto you that you do throughout
(16:10):
the year.
Trying to keep up on thosethings is going to help you feel
more confident in your schedulethis holiday season.
And confidence in our mindset.
So resetting our mental habitsnow to support a calm and
joyful, confident season isgoing to be really important.
So replace your I have to blankwith I get to blank.
This is going to shift ourgratitude and our energy and
(16:33):
help us to feel more gratefulfor the things that we get to
do, not the things that we haveto do.
Practice self-self-affirmations like I am
enough even when I do less.
I am creating a joyful seasoneven if my kids aren't getting
everything that they're askingfor.
Whatever those affirmationsare, that will help our mindset
to believe that we are doing thebest that we can and that we
(16:56):
are the person who we need to befor this holiday season that
will help us to just feel moreconfident and at peace.
What I love to do is a journal,and you can have a holiday
journal, you can have like anykind of type of notebook,
whatever, and just say, whatwould the confident version of
me choose this holiday season?
Reflect on that now.
How you would feel confident.
What would you do if you werethis holiday season, if you were
(17:19):
that confident person?
How would that person look?
How would she act?
How would she talk to herself?
What is she going to be doing?
And so to be doing that journalprompt before the business
starts and then to continuejournaling as the holiday season
goes on.
Continue and journal thoseconfident moments where you feel
confident and where you noticedthat you were shining and you
(17:40):
were sticking to your boundariesand you were increasing those
family connections and you weredoing all the things that you
are working so hard to do,especially now as we are doing
this work before all thecraziness starts, so that we can
prep ourselves to feel moreconfident.
And limit comparison.
Confidence expands when youdefine your success in your own
(18:00):
terms, not when you're lookingat the success of other people
and comparing where you are towhere they are, because where we
are in our story is going to bedifferent where the other
person is.
They were may have been wherewe are now, but we just can't
see that.
We don't know where they were.
And we all we can see is wherethey are right now.
And we don't know all of thecircumstances, and we don't
(18:22):
know, we just there's just somuch that we don't know.
We're creating our own storywhen we're comparing.
When we look at somebody andwe're comparing ourselves to
them, then we are creating ourown story.
I am so guilty of this.
I do this all the time.
Where I look at someone andthink, oh man, they just have it
all.
They've they've succeeded inthis business.
Their kids are so much so wellbehaved.
(18:42):
And like I just create thisstory about how they are just
like this rock star person, andI'm comparing myself to them
where I don't know what happensbehind closed doors.
I don't know what they had towalk through to get to where
they are now.
And so trying to avoidcomparing ourselves can help to
protect our mindset and ourconfidence in ourself.
(19:03):
When our confidence feels low,I'm gonna go back to Mel
Robbins.
She's just one of my favoritepeople.
She talks about the five-secondrule.
So she has her five-five habitand she also has the five-second
rule.
And the five-second rule iswhere if she doesn't want to do
something, she's scared to dosomething, she's feeling like
doubtful about something, shecounts backwards from five.
Five, four, three, two, one,and then she just does it.
(19:26):
And this can help to buildmomentum and it can also help us
when our confidence is feelinglow.
So if we tell ourselves, I'mjust doing it, five, four,
three, two, one, and then wejust do it, then we are
naturally going to build ourconfidence.
Our confidence is going toincrease just because we are
pushing ourselves to do it.
Our confidence shines when weare expressing our joy, whether
it's through our style orthrough our creativity or
(19:50):
through our traditions.
So find your way that you canjust express your joy this
holiday season.
Decorate for the holidays,dress up for the holidays, give
gifts in a way that feels trueto you and doesn't necessarily
need to go along with thetrends.
We're going to be seeing somuch going on on social media
from all the influencers saying,this is the best list for
(20:11):
toddler gifts.
This is the best sister giftlist.
This is what your husband wantsthis Christmas.
But we don't need to go alongwith those trends.
We don't need to get the numberone bestsellers on Amazon.
We can just get the gifts thatfeel like they are authentic to
us because again, authenticityis going to bring that
connection and that confidence.
And confidence doesn't need tobe loud.
(20:32):
It's just what our alignmentis.
Confidence is just going toalign to what we believe and
what we feel.
Confidence isn't something youhave to find.
It's something you resetthrough small intentional
choices before all of thisholiday craziness begins.
So we don't need to search forit.
We have it.
Confidence is in us.
Let's just do this reset and wecan find our confidence in our
(20:53):
small intentional choices.
So just choose one of theseareas.
We talked about body, we talkedabout family connection, we
talked about schedule, we talkedabout mindset.
Just pick one of these and tryand commit to it this week.
What are you going to do tohelp improve yourself in this
area with your confidence as weare getting into this busy
holiday season?
You are confidently beautifulinside and out, and this holiday
(21:14):
season let's let confidencelead the way.
And I have a freebie for you,okay?
We've talked about familyconnection, we've talked about
scheduling.
So this one is gonna go greatwith both of those uh because
this is a super cute bigprintable calendar for November
and December.
So I recommend going to yourlocal print shop and getting the
(21:35):
architectural print.
This is like a big 24 by 36print, so you can put it on a
wall somewhere where your familycan see.
You can put it on the back of acloset door, uh, just somewhere
where your whole family can seeit.
And I want you to just take thetime to just get a piece of
paper, write down all thethings, have your kids tell you
all the things that areimportant to them this holiday
season, have your spouse tellyou, you write down all of your
(21:58):
important things and just braindump everything on there, and
then also the things that youknow will be happening.
Put all of that on the paper,then go through and highlight,
like I said when we were talkingabout our scheduling section,
go through and highlight thethings that are most important,
the priorities, the big things,and then go ahead and put them
on the calendar.
Put them on the calendar that Imade for you, have them
(22:18):
penciled in.
You can always erase them andmove them around, but we're not
going to erase them and not letthem happen, right?
We want them to happen thiscomp this holiday season so that
we can feel confident that weare living the holidays the way
that we want to and getting ourpriorities met and all of the
memories created.
So let's have a holiday seasonfull of joyful memories and
family connection.
(22:39):
So you can go to the link inthe show notes to download this
calendar.
It's totally free and you canfill it out for you and your
family, or you can head toconfidentexpression.com and
click on the freebies tab, andyou will be led to where you can
download it.
So I hope that this is fun foryou and that you can share this
with some of your friends andfamily who maybe want this fun
(22:59):
calendar, and we can all have ajoyful, happy, and confident
holiday season.
Thank you for listening anduntil next time, stay
confidently beautiful.
If you've been wanting to boostyour confidence in a simple but
meaningful way, my new dailyconfidence journals are here.
Each page starts with today Ifelt confident when to help you
(23:21):
notice and celebrate youreveryday wins.
The rainbow collection comes inseven gorgeous colors with
really fun designs, and you cangrab yours now at
confidentexpression.com.
Thanks for listening.
Connect with me on Instagram atConfidently Beautiful Podcast
and share this episode withsomeone in your life who could
use a little reminder of justhow amazing they already are.
(23:43):
Stay Confidently Beautiful.
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