March 28, 2023 • 23 mins
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Knowing HOW to experience the power of gratitude is KEY to discovering more joy and happiness than you've felt in a looooong time. Because you and I both know it isn't as easy as it sounds.
But when you commit to a daily gratitude practice (WITH the necessary tools ovbi) and shift from: Pitty Party, Table of one thinking...absolute magic happens.
This episode focuses on how to cultivate gratitude by noticing and expressing what pleases you and how to find things that please you if you don't notice any! It also encourages the use of gratitude reminders such as mirror messages and other clever tools.
This is not about toxic positivity but rather about making space to feel MORE pleasure than pain in a balanced existence.
"Gratitude is a space free of resistance, and therefore it is freedom."
Post Divorce Roadmap - 21 Days of Guided Journaling
Join The list for A Different D Word, our personalized healing program.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawn
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On the Web: https://www.mycoachdawn.com
A podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hi love, this is Dawn and you're listening to Dear
Divorce Diary with my coach,dawn, where we explore the
post-divorce life and you, thewoman who lives it.
We cover everything from traumaduring and after divorce to
feeling like a stranger in yourown life and the new frontier of
life as a single woman.
Cozy in for the conversationsyou've been longing to have
(00:27):
about this new life.
Hi love, oh, my goodness, i canhear my voice wobbling.
Wanna know why My heart isracing right now in that nervous
, excited way.
And it's because so manyamazing things are bubbling up
(00:50):
right now for us, inside of me,for you, et cetera, and it's
like hard for me to like keep upwith in this moment.
So today we're talking allabout gratitude and we're gonna
like dig into the juicy detailsabout how to feel the embodiment
of gratitude.
Wouldn't that feel so good ifyou could like tap into that
(01:13):
today or any day?
that just feels so freakingheavy.
We're talking about gratitude,but that opens a different door
for me to tell you about thecommunity that's coming.
It's called a different D wordAnd because I'm a Gemini, equal
(01:34):
Parts Angel and Devil what doyou think the D word is?
love.
It's divine.
But so this community that'scoming a different D word, it is
for listeners of the pod and itis grounded in a foundation of
gratitude.
It is the basis for thecommunity is a daily gratitude
(01:58):
practice.
So, as we're talking about thistoday, i just I know this is
coming and I'm so excited It'slike beating out of my chest, so
let's talk about it.
Okay, what is gratitude?
Gratitude is the emotionalvibrational experience of
(02:21):
appreciation for all.
That is all, and I know thatmost of us have been raised with
some sort of faith practice orreligion and that in faith
practices and religions we'retaught about gratitude, we're
(02:44):
taught about rejoicing even indarkness, and it's a concept
that we've been exposed to.
But to embody it, to live it,to walk it out, is like next
level shit, and I feel likethat's the season that our
planet is in, is the, but howseason The?
(03:06):
okay, we've been taught allthese ideas, all of our lives,
but how to live it in a way thatis meaningful and and has
concrete, delicious feelings inour day to day life, and so
gratitude is that emotionalvibrational space of
(03:28):
appreciation for all.
That is Yes, that means knowing, believing and understanding
that the fact that you arecurrently in a divorce process
is an acknowledgement and anacceptance that on some level,
you prayed for this, that thispath that you are on is a
(03:51):
manifestation of your deepestdesires and that you are being
gifted This process And that theonly thing left is to sit in
appreciation of it because it isin the process of delivering
you your deepest desires.
Okay, but how do I cultivatethat level of gratitude, don?
(04:16):
how Right And the how of it isby shifting your mindset,
because so much of how we thinkand I still catch myself doing
it loves at.
Like you know, i'm on a kind ofconstant mission to eradicate
victim consciousness from myliving, because victim
(04:37):
consciousness is what suppressesthe fun in my life, and I'm on
a mission to just be likeunbridled fun as much as
possible.
Can't always, it's not alwayspossible because like shit
happens, and so when shithappens, we feel like shit.
But then to be able to pivotout of that shit, to like be
back to fun, that's my goal,right, and so when we are
(05:00):
feeling things are happening tous and not that they're
happening for us, that's avictim consciousness.
Like I can't deal with this.
I shouldn't have to deal withthis.
It's not fair that I'm dealingwith this.
This is happening to me, i ambeing victimized, and the
reality is in that mindset,anywhere it lives, in our
(05:24):
thoughts or in our bodies.
We cannot rise, and it is aprocess to shed that.
And so please don't put unduepressure on yourself to go from
nothing to all, because that'snot how it works.
But if we can do it, one littlebaby step at a time, and
(05:48):
sometimes we just have to startwith.
I want to want to believe that,don.
I don't believe it today, but Iwant to want to believe it.
Abraham Hicks talks aboutgetting ready to get ready, to
get ready to get ready, sosometimes we just have to start
with.
I want to want to believe, don,that the universe, god, source
(06:12):
energy, whatever it is is alwaysorganizing in my favor And all
I have to do is get out of myown way to receive that.
And gratitude is one of themost significant paths to that.
And so the how to cultivategratitude is to catch it.
When we're saying poor me,right To catch it and just
(06:36):
notice oh look, i'm doing thatpoor me thing And it would be
more useful for me to do the.
Everything is always workingout for me, god is constantly
working behind the scenes in myfavor And I just have to really
align myself with that view ofthings.
Now it's important to understandwhy gratitude is so powerful,
(07:02):
and the reason it's so powerfulloves is because, vibrationally,
when we are really feeling,we're in moments of really
feeling grateful, we are free ofall resistance.
And you notice that That whenyou're sitting in a moment of
(07:23):
contentment or appreciation,there's no drag on your system,
there's no resistance, there'sno forlornness, there's no.
But what about?
there's no what if-ness?
there's no lack, there's noscarcity, there's no fear, it's
just free.
Gratitude is a space free ofresistance and therefore it is
(07:47):
freedom.
And so when we are feeling thatlevel of appreciation, we are
fully aligned with our higherpower, fully aligned with our
inner being, with source energy,with God, and being open, being
that open-hearted being, thatopen-minded being, that aligned
with God.
Love is how we welcome ineverything we deeply desire.
(08:13):
The reason gratitude is sopowerful is because from that
space you become a funnel, awide, open funnel for everything
you deeply desire.
And so when you really chooseto believe that, you suddenly
(08:39):
have a whole lot of motivationto start getting intentional
about how you think and how youfeel.
And don't get me wrong, it's ashift to go from no, it feels
really good to talk about allthe shit that pisses me off.
It feels really good to go onand on about how I've been
(09:00):
wronged.
That is an old way of feelinggood, right, because it's
rehearsed.
It feels like externalvalidation.
It feels like oh, brene Browntalks about it like hot wiring
connection.
Right, it's not true connection, it's not heart connection, but
(09:22):
it's like when you jump in acar without a key and you gotta
hot wire it right.
So when we are building ourcase for the shit and we're
looping people in on how shittyit is, that's not true
connection, it's not truefreedom, it's not true joy, but
it is like the old way offeeling good before we discover
(09:47):
how delicious it is to feel free, high-flying, delicious, easy,
smooth, happy, abundant, wealthyin love.
The word that I've been workingon lately is desirous, satiated
(10:13):
, pleasure, all of those things.
So you're on a journey oftransitioning from the finding
deliciousness in the shit tofinding deliciousness in the joy
, in the ease, in the Abundanceof it all.
And so it's a journey, and sothat journey takes really daily
(10:38):
attention and intention, andtrust you me.
When I say daily, i'm superclear.
I just walked in today asproducer Joy and I were prepping
for our day.
We're recording two podcastepisodes today, which means
super exciting things arehappening, because we have an
interview later today And I wastelling her about needing to, in
(11:02):
my own life, go back to a dailyjournal practice.
It's something I used to do Andit's something I let go for a
period of time, and I wasgiggling as I was telling her
jokes on me, producer Joy,because here I am, the journal,
your way to freedom, right, lady?
And very clear that I need to goback to a daily journaling
(11:23):
practice and feeling thatfeeling you're having in your
own awareness right now about adaily gratitude practice like,
oh, where am I going to makespace for that?
How am I going to make spacefor that?
And, it's true, i have tofigure out how I'm going to make
space for it.
So, now that I've set theintention, i'm going to look for
(11:46):
the gap.
I'm probably going to go backto putting a journal in the
front seat of my car And Ialways have one next to my bed
and making sure it's next to mycomputer at work and making sure
it's super handy And when Ihave the thought, come about
something that I want to writeabout actually taking the next
step to write rather than justsaying to myself oh, i'll
(12:07):
remember that That's never howit works.
So how can you make space fordaily gratitude?
Well, i know one way you couldjoin a different D word
community, because in there weare practicing daily gratitude.
You know, part of the reasonit's so important is because we
(12:29):
forget, right, we're forgetful.
We do what we are mostprogrammed to do, we do the
things that are habits, right,we are habitual, habitual,
habitual creatures, and so whenwe don't have a container to
help us remember to do it everyday, we forget and we go back to
the old way and then we get theold results.
(12:50):
And so this is why communitiesand reminders and spaces that
reinforce the new way are so, so, so important.
Because it's hard to remember,because the brain likes the path
of least resistance and itknows the old way and it's
familiar.
So when we're startingsomething that we know needs to
(13:13):
be a daily intention, it'sreally important to have cues
all around us to remind us,right.
So this is why I'm a hugeadvocate of mirror messages, and
if you've done my 21 day guidedjournaling program, you know
that that's one of thecomponents is to actually write
the thing on your mirror, and Itypically have something written
on my bathroom mirror and it'sthose things to cue us to
(13:38):
remember to do the thing Now,how to express it, how to show
it, how to tap into it.
One of the things I learned fromlistening to a lot of law of
attraction content and listeningto Abraham Hicks is the way she
frames it And this is how I'velearned to do it is to just move
(14:00):
through life, identifying whatpleases me, and that could be
hmm, seeing a drop of dew on aleaf Oh, that's so pleasing.
A beautiful sunrise Oh that'sso pleasing.
The perfect foam on mycappuccino This is so pleasing.
(14:22):
A really delicious hug A theperfect boozy-beach meme on
Instagram This is so pleasing.
It doesn't matter what it ismoving through my day, the way
my head feels on the pillow,when it's just right, whatever
it is, and being able to notice,acknowledge and express in the
(14:46):
moment how pleasing it is.
That is a gratitude practice, asense of appreciation for
probably a very mundane moment.
And that's really wheregratitude takes root and then
blossoms is from being able tomove through your day
(15:08):
highlighting and expressing thethings that are pleasing, that
are delicious, versus movingthrough our day focused on the
things that suck.
And it has become my habit inpractice And in the community.
A different D word.
You'll notice there's differentlevels, but the first level is
(15:30):
this pleases me and the secondlevel is this pleases me more,
and that's because I have madethose words foundational to how
my own gratitude practice livesAnd the people that kind of live
in my inner circle, they'rereally, really used to that
language And we've all kind ofadopted it and started living by
it.
Right, and just saying like thispleases me, oh, this is so
pleasing, this is my kid says it, producer Joy says it, colleen,
(15:53):
my trainers, we all just kindof say it And it's so effective
because it just feels good.
And so I encourage you in yourjournaling, ideally daily, to
just jot down a couple of things.
I encourage you to, whether youcome find us in this pleases me
(16:17):
, in the gratitude thread and inthe community that I'm building
, whether you join us there toexpress gratitude, or you just
have your own text thread thatyou have with your besties right
, where you just text themthings.
This pleases me, this pleasesme, this pleases me right,
because when you start doingthat every day, you will see
(16:38):
your life change.
Here's the thing when you'veexperienced a trauma or a
conflict shock a conflict shockis anything you know when you
have a near miss of a caraccident and you have all that
electric zing through your body,that adrenaline, right, anytime
you've experienced somethingthat's had that amount of
(16:59):
adrenaline course through yourbody and it stayed activated for
a period of time.
So obviously, divorce,obviously, when your children
are in pain, obviously, whenyou've sustained a physical
injury or right, anytime youhave that kind of a shock or a
trauma, it has an impact at astructural level in your brain.
Love In your brain.
(17:21):
We can in an MRI we can see itStructural impact on the brain.
When you practice gratitude,you start to reverse those
impacts on the brain.
Now, when you start to embodygratitude, your brain can go
(17:42):
back to a balanced, whole mm,safe, non-compartmentalized
place to be, and so this is whyit is so necessary for your
well-being love.
And let me clarify somethingThis is not a space of toxic
positivity.
This isn't where we only embodygratitude.
(18:04):
And anytime we experiencepainful things, we don't give
those painful things space.
Screw that.
We create space for painfulthings.
We create space to meet ourrepressed shadow shit that lives
inside of us.
We create space to meetourselves in the dark places, in
the rage, in the grief.
(18:25):
We're gonna go there too, right, but we're gonna face those
things, we're gonna express them, we're gonna pour love on them,
we're gonna snuggle the crapout of them, and then we're
gonna pivot back to gratitude.
Right, gratitude becomes likeour state of being, where we
visit darkness, because in abalanced existence, the light
(18:50):
and the dark just are balanced.
And so I am not here to teachyou to be in gratitude all the
time.
I am here to teach you how totransmute your habitual
negativity into habitualpositivity so that you can let
(19:11):
all the good things in.
Right, that's it.
You just wanna reduce the pileof shit and grow the pile of
daisies until eventually it justbecomes a commonplace way.
But we're always gonna makespace for when the hard stuff
happens, to hold space for thehard as well, because that
(19:32):
matters just as much in abalanced existence.
Okay, i cannot wait for you toembark or continue on this
journey, because sometimes it'sjust a reminder.
Sometimes I already tell youthe things that you know, you
know right.
Sometimes you just need areminder to go back to that
daily practice and to find thosecontainers where we can live
(19:54):
that out right.
And so really, the big, bigreminder here is to switch from
victim thinking poor me, it'snot fair, this shouldn't be
happening to me, this sucks Whyme to.
Something about this is leadingto my fullest expression of
(20:15):
glory And I cannot freaking waitto know what that is right,
like.
I got some big dreams, loves,and I know and I've also heard
this in Law of Attraction thatthe people that are the hardest
to love, the situations that arehardest to resolve.
It's because those situationsare leading us to our greatest
desires, and the more weintegrate them and the more we
(20:37):
shed the resistance around them,the more we are stepping into
our fullest manifestations.
And so when we can say thankyou, when we can sit in
appreciation for all that thegauntlet is doing for us, right,
right, all the pressure iscreating turning coal into a
diamond-ness of a thing, right,we can sit in appreciation for
(20:59):
that and say, like I know thisis leading to something amazing.
That's really what I'mreminding you about today.
And then the daily walking outof.
That is the expression, thepracticing of noticing that dew
drop, of that perfect bite ofchocolate cake, of the beauty in
(21:22):
my kid's face, or watching mypuppy play, or whatever it is to
just sit in those moments.
You know, so long in my life Ionly enjoyed this kind of
snapshot.
I had this image of perfection,and only when I felt like I was
(21:45):
living in that snapshot could Ireally feel good about myself
and my life and things.
And that wasn't working.
It was hard and it wasn't funbecause it was always this
impossible goal of perfection.
And so this daily just enjoyingthe good stuff, moment to moment
(22:10):
, that has nothing to do withperfection.
It just has to do with beingpresent and in appreciation for
the little things and the bigthings.
And the little things.
It's cumulative, the littlethings add up to the big things.
Every drop of dew that I haveappreciated led up to the
(22:32):
biggest things, and knowing thatis what's so motivating to live
it out, and I love how we'reliving it out together.
It feels so good, it feels likeI'm not alone, to know that I'm
doing it and you're doing itwith me and we're doing it
together, and that you're juston the other side of this
(22:54):
microphone or my DMs.
I love you so much And I am sostinking grateful for you.
I love you so much Peace.
The Divorce Diary.
Dear Divorce Diary is a podcastby My Coach, john.
(23:16):
You can find more atMyCoachJohncom.
Hi love, this is Dawn and you're listening to Dear
Divorce Diary with my coach,dawn, where we explore the
post-divorce life and you, thewoman who lives it.
We cover everything from traumaduring and after divorce to
feeling like a stranger in yourown life and the new frontier of
life as a single woman.
Cozy in for the conversationsyou've been longing to have
(00:27):
about this new life.
Hi love, oh, my goodness, i canhear my voice wobbling.
Wanna know why My heart isracing right now in that nervous
, excited way.
And it's because so manyamazing things are bubbling up
(00:50):
right now for us, inside of me,for you, et cetera, and it's
like hard for me to like keep upwith in this moment.
So today we're talking allabout gratitude and we're gonna
like dig into the juicy detailsabout how to feel the embodiment
of gratitude.
Wouldn't that feel so good ifyou could like tap into that
(01:13):
today or any day?
that just feels so freakingheavy.
We're talking about gratitude,but that opens a different door
for me to tell you about thecommunity that's coming.
It's called a different D wordAnd because I'm a Gemini, equal
(01:34):
Parts Angel and Devil what doyou think the D word is?
love.
It's divine.
But so this community that'scoming a different D word, it is
for listeners of the pod and itis grounded in a foundation of
gratitude.
It is the basis for thecommunity is a daily gratitude
(01:58):
practice.
So, as we're talking about thistoday, i just I know this is
coming and I'm so excited It'slike beating out of my chest, so
let's talk about it.
Okay, what is gratitude?
Gratitude is the emotionalvibrational experience of
(02:21):
appreciation for all.
That is all, and I know thatmost of us have been raised with
some sort of faith practice orreligion and that in faith
practices and religions we'retaught about gratitude, we're
(02:44):
taught about rejoicing even indarkness, and it's a concept
that we've been exposed to.
But to embody it, to live it,to walk it out, is like next
level shit, and I feel likethat's the season that our
planet is in, is the, but howseason The?
(03:06):
okay, we've been taught allthese ideas, all of our lives,
but how to live it in a way thatis meaningful and and has
concrete, delicious feelings inour day to day life, and so
gratitude is that emotionalvibrational space of
(03:28):
appreciation for all.
That is Yes, that means knowing, believing and understanding
that the fact that you arecurrently in a divorce process
is an acknowledgement and anacceptance that on some level,
you prayed for this, that thispath that you are on is a
(03:51):
manifestation of your deepestdesires and that you are being
gifted This process And that theonly thing left is to sit in
appreciation of it because it isin the process of delivering
you your deepest desires.
Okay, but how do I cultivatethat level of gratitude, don?
(04:16):
how Right And the how of it isby shifting your mindset,
because so much of how we thinkand I still catch myself doing
it loves at.
Like you know, i'm on a kind ofconstant mission to eradicate
victim consciousness from myliving, because victim
(04:37):
consciousness is what suppressesthe fun in my life, and I'm on
a mission to just be likeunbridled fun as much as
possible.
Can't always, it's not alwayspossible because like shit
happens, and so when shithappens, we feel like shit.
But then to be able to pivotout of that shit, to like be
back to fun, that's my goal,right, and so when we are
(05:00):
feeling things are happening tous and not that they're
happening for us, that's avictim consciousness.
Like I can't deal with this.
I shouldn't have to deal withthis.
It's not fair that I'm dealingwith this.
This is happening to me, i ambeing victimized, and the
reality is in that mindset,anywhere it lives, in our
(05:24):
thoughts or in our bodies.
We cannot rise, and it is aprocess to shed that.
And so please don't put unduepressure on yourself to go from
nothing to all, because that'snot how it works.
But if we can do it, one littlebaby step at a time, and
(05:48):
sometimes we just have to startwith.
I want to want to believe that,don.
I don't believe it today, but Iwant to want to believe it.
Abraham Hicks talks aboutgetting ready to get ready, to
get ready to get ready, sosometimes we just have to start
with.
I want to want to believe, don,that the universe, god, source
(06:12):
energy, whatever it is is alwaysorganizing in my favor And all
I have to do is get out of myown way to receive that.
And gratitude is one of themost significant paths to that.
And so the how to cultivategratitude is to catch it.
When we're saying poor me,right To catch it and just
(06:36):
notice oh look, i'm doing thatpoor me thing And it would be
more useful for me to do the.
Everything is always workingout for me, god is constantly
working behind the scenes in myfavor And I just have to really
align myself with that view ofthings.
Now it's important to understandwhy gratitude is so powerful,
(07:02):
and the reason it's so powerfulloves is because, vibrationally,
when we are really feeling,we're in moments of really
feeling grateful, we are free ofall resistance.
And you notice that That whenyou're sitting in a moment of
(07:23):
contentment or appreciation,there's no drag on your system,
there's no resistance, there'sno forlornness, there's no.
But what about?
there's no what if-ness?
there's no lack, there's noscarcity, there's no fear, it's
just free.
Gratitude is a space free ofresistance and therefore it is
(07:47):
freedom.
And so when we are feeling thatlevel of appreciation, we are
fully aligned with our higherpower, fully aligned with our
inner being, with source energy,with God, and being open, being
that open-hearted being, thatopen-minded being, that aligned
with God.
Love is how we welcome ineverything we deeply desire.
(08:13):
The reason gratitude is sopowerful is because from that
space you become a funnel, awide, open funnel for everything
you deeply desire.
And so when you really chooseto believe that, you suddenly
(08:39):
have a whole lot of motivationto start getting intentional
about how you think and how youfeel.
And don't get me wrong, it's ashift to go from no, it feels
really good to talk about allthe shit that pisses me off.
It feels really good to go onand on about how I've been
(09:00):
wronged.
That is an old way of feelinggood, right, because it's
rehearsed.
It feels like externalvalidation.
It feels like oh, brene Browntalks about it like hot wiring
connection.
Right, it's not true connection, it's not heart connection, but
(09:22):
it's like when you jump in acar without a key and you gotta
hot wire it right.
So when we are building ourcase for the shit and we're
looping people in on how shittyit is, that's not true
connection, it's not truefreedom, it's not true joy, but
it is like the old way offeeling good before we discover
(09:47):
how delicious it is to feel free, high-flying, delicious, easy,
smooth, happy, abundant, wealthyin love.
The word that I've been workingon lately is desirous, satiated
(10:13):
, pleasure, all of those things.
So you're on a journey oftransitioning from the finding
deliciousness in the shit tofinding deliciousness in the joy
, in the ease, in the Abundanceof it all.
And so it's a journey, and sothat journey takes really daily
(10:38):
attention and intention, andtrust you me.
When I say daily, i'm superclear.
I just walked in today asproducer Joy and I were prepping
for our day.
We're recording two podcastepisodes today, which means
super exciting things arehappening, because we have an
interview later today And I wastelling her about needing to, in
(11:02):
my own life, go back to a dailyjournal practice.
It's something I used to do Andit's something I let go for a
period of time, and I wasgiggling as I was telling her
jokes on me, producer Joy,because here I am, the journal,
your way to freedom, right, lady?
And very clear that I need to goback to a daily journaling
(11:23):
practice and feeling thatfeeling you're having in your
own awareness right now about adaily gratitude practice like,
oh, where am I going to makespace for that?
How am I going to make spacefor that?
And, it's true, i have tofigure out how I'm going to make
space for it.
So, now that I've set theintention, i'm going to look for
(11:46):
the gap.
I'm probably going to go backto putting a journal in the
front seat of my car And Ialways have one next to my bed
and making sure it's next to mycomputer at work and making sure
it's super handy And when Ihave the thought, come about
something that I want to writeabout actually taking the next
step to write rather than justsaying to myself oh, i'll
(12:07):
remember that That's never howit works.
So how can you make space fordaily gratitude?
Well, i know one way you couldjoin a different D word
community, because in there weare practicing daily gratitude.
You know, part of the reasonit's so important is because we
(12:29):
forget, right, we're forgetful.
We do what we are mostprogrammed to do, we do the
things that are habits, right,we are habitual, habitual,
habitual creatures, and so whenwe don't have a container to
help us remember to do it everyday, we forget and we go back to
the old way and then we get theold results.
(12:50):
And so this is why communitiesand reminders and spaces that
reinforce the new way are so, so, so important.
Because it's hard to remember,because the brain likes the path
of least resistance and itknows the old way and it's
familiar.
So when we're startingsomething that we know needs to
(13:13):
be a daily intention, it'sreally important to have cues
all around us to remind us,right.
So this is why I'm a hugeadvocate of mirror messages, and
if you've done my 21 day guidedjournaling program, you know
that that's one of thecomponents is to actually write
the thing on your mirror, and Itypically have something written
on my bathroom mirror and it'sthose things to cue us to
(13:38):
remember to do the thing Now,how to express it, how to show
it, how to tap into it.
One of the things I learned fromlistening to a lot of law of
attraction content and listeningto Abraham Hicks is the way she
frames it And this is how I'velearned to do it is to just move
(14:00):
through life, identifying whatpleases me, and that could be
hmm, seeing a drop of dew on aleaf Oh, that's so pleasing.
A beautiful sunrise Oh that'sso pleasing.
The perfect foam on mycappuccino This is so pleasing.
(14:22):
A really delicious hug A theperfect boozy-beach meme on
Instagram This is so pleasing.
It doesn't matter what it ismoving through my day, the way
my head feels on the pillow,when it's just right, whatever
it is, and being able to notice,acknowledge and express in the
(14:46):
moment how pleasing it is.
That is a gratitude practice, asense of appreciation for
probably a very mundane moment.
And that's really wheregratitude takes root and then
blossoms is from being able tomove through your day
(15:08):
highlighting and expressing thethings that are pleasing, that
are delicious, versus movingthrough our day focused on the
things that suck.
And it has become my habit inpractice And in the community.
A different D word.
You'll notice there's differentlevels, but the first level is
(15:30):
this pleases me and the secondlevel is this pleases me more,
and that's because I have madethose words foundational to how
my own gratitude practice livesAnd the people that kind of live
in my inner circle, they'rereally, really used to that
language And we've all kind ofadopted it and started living by
it.
Right, and just saying like thispleases me, oh, this is so
pleasing, this is my kid says it, producer Joy says it, colleen,
(15:53):
my trainers, we all just kindof say it And it's so effective
because it just feels good.
And so I encourage you in yourjournaling, ideally daily, to
just jot down a couple of things.
I encourage you to, whether youcome find us in this pleases me
(16:17):
, in the gratitude thread and inthe community that I'm building
, whether you join us there toexpress gratitude, or you just
have your own text thread thatyou have with your besties right
, where you just text themthings.
This pleases me, this pleasesme, this pleases me right,
because when you start doingthat every day, you will see
(16:38):
your life change.
Here's the thing when you'veexperienced a trauma or a
conflict shock a conflict shockis anything you know when you
have a near miss of a caraccident and you have all that
electric zing through your body,that adrenaline, right, anytime
you've experienced somethingthat's had that amount of
(16:59):
adrenaline course through yourbody and it stayed activated for
a period of time.
So obviously, divorce,obviously, when your children
are in pain, obviously, whenyou've sustained a physical
injury or right, anytime youhave that kind of a shock or a
trauma, it has an impact at astructural level in your brain.
Love In your brain.
(17:21):
We can in an MRI we can see itStructural impact on the brain.
When you practice gratitude,you start to reverse those
impacts on the brain.
Now, when you start to embodygratitude, your brain can go
(17:42):
back to a balanced, whole mm,safe, non-compartmentalized
place to be, and so this is whyit is so necessary for your
well-being love.
And let me clarify somethingThis is not a space of toxic
positivity.
This isn't where we only embodygratitude.
(18:04):
And anytime we experiencepainful things, we don't give
those painful things space.
Screw that.
We create space for painfulthings.
We create space to meet ourrepressed shadow shit that lives
inside of us.
We create space to meetourselves in the dark places, in
the rage, in the grief.
(18:25):
We're gonna go there too, right, but we're gonna face those
things, we're gonna express them, we're gonna pour love on them,
we're gonna snuggle the crapout of them, and then we're
gonna pivot back to gratitude.
Right, gratitude becomes likeour state of being, where we
visit darkness, because in abalanced existence, the light
(18:50):
and the dark just are balanced.
And so I am not here to teachyou to be in gratitude all the
time.
I am here to teach you how totransmute your habitual
negativity into habitualpositivity so that you can let
(19:11):
all the good things in.
Right, that's it.
You just wanna reduce the pileof shit and grow the pile of
daisies until eventually it justbecomes a commonplace way.
But we're always gonna makespace for when the hard stuff
happens, to hold space for thehard as well, because that
(19:32):
matters just as much in abalanced existence.
Okay, i cannot wait for you toembark or continue on this
journey, because sometimes it'sjust a reminder.
Sometimes I already tell youthe things that you know, you
know right.
Sometimes you just need areminder to go back to that
daily practice and to find thosecontainers where we can live
(19:54):
that out right.
And so really, the big, bigreminder here is to switch from
victim thinking poor me, it'snot fair, this shouldn't be
happening to me, this sucks Whyme to.
Something about this is leadingto my fullest expression of
(20:15):
glory And I cannot freaking waitto know what that is right,
like.
I got some big dreams, loves,and I know and I've also heard
this in Law of Attraction thatthe people that are the hardest
to love, the situations that arehardest to resolve.
It's because those situationsare leading us to our greatest
desires, and the more weintegrate them and the more we
(20:37):
shed the resistance around them,the more we are stepping into
our fullest manifestations.
And so when we can say thankyou, when we can sit in
appreciation for all that thegauntlet is doing for us, right,
right, all the pressure iscreating turning coal into a
diamond-ness of a thing, right,we can sit in appreciation for
(20:59):
that and say, like I know thisis leading to something amazing.
That's really what I'mreminding you about today.
And then the daily walking outof.
That is the expression, thepracticing of noticing that dew
drop, of that perfect bite ofchocolate cake, of the beauty in
(21:22):
my kid's face, or watching mypuppy play, or whatever it is to
just sit in those moments.
You know, so long in my life Ionly enjoyed this kind of
snapshot.
I had this image of perfection,and only when I felt like I was
(21:45):
living in that snapshot could Ireally feel good about myself
and my life and things.
And that wasn't working.
It was hard and it wasn't funbecause it was always this
impossible goal of perfection.
And so this daily just enjoyingthe good stuff, moment to moment
(22:10):
, that has nothing to do withperfection.
It just has to do with beingpresent and in appreciation for
the little things and the bigthings.
And the little things.
It's cumulative, the littlethings add up to the big things.
Every drop of dew that I haveappreciated led up to the
(22:32):
biggest things, and knowing thatis what's so motivating to live
it out, and I love how we'reliving it out together.
It feels so good, it feels likeI'm not alone, to know that I'm
doing it and you're doing itwith me and we're doing it
together, and that you're juston the other side of this
(22:54):
microphone or my DMs.
I love you so much And I am sostinking grateful for you.
I love you so much Peace.
The Divorce Diary.
Dear Divorce Diary is a podcastby My Coach, john.
(23:16):
You can find more atMyCoachJohncom.
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