November 6, 2025 • 28 mins
When your hormones and your heartbreak start tag-teaming your sanity, it can feel like your body and your emotions are working against you. You’re exhausted, irritable, sleepless, and half the time you can’t tell if you’re healing or falling apart.
In this episode, Dawn, Tiffini, and Joy unpack the missing link that brings your body and emotions back onto the same team. Together, they break down:
✨ Why somatics matter — and how real healing starts when you stop trying to “think” your way better and start working through the body.
🔥 The hormone connection — what perimenopause does to your nervous system, mood, and energy, and how to gently support balance again.
💧 The homeopathic solutions we swear by — including the Hot Flash Support blend that changed Joy’s life in under a week and the exclusive Divorce Recovery Blend designed just for Premium listeners.
💗 How to ground your grief — and move through divorce without staying stuck in survival mode.
If you’ve ever wondered why you can be doing “all the right things” and still feel off—this is the conversation that finally connects the dots.
Mentioned in this episode:
– The Divorce Recovery Nervous System Quiz
– Destined Homeopathics Hot Flash Support Blend
– Premium Divorce Recovery Blend (available only to Premium members)
**To order either Hot Flash Support or Divorce Recovery Blend, email hello@mycoachdawn.com and tell us your order!**
💫 Take the next step: Discover your unique nervous system type and how it’s shaping your hormones, emotions, and healing journey after divorce.
👉 Take the Divorce Recovery Nervous System Quiz
— it only takes a few minutes and can change how you understand your body forever.
✨ Subscribe to Dear Divorce Diary Premium for $5/month to access the EFT session, monthly live workshops, and exclusive product launches.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawn
Instagram: (@dawnwiggins)
Instagram: (@coachtiffini)
On the Web: https://www.mycoachdawn.com
A podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.
Post Divorce Road Map : 21 Days of Journaling
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:02):
Tuesday, we talked with the Menopause Love Lounge
about what happens when yourhormones and your emotions
during divorce feel like they'recollaboratively ganging up on
you.
You're tired, you're snappy,you're bloated, you're
sleepless, and half the time youcannot tell if you're healing or
falling apart.
And so today we're gonna bringin some solutions.
(00:23):
Tiffany, Joy, and I are gonnawalk you through the practical
tools that we recommend thatbring relief, the same ones we
use inside of our community,inside of our families and our
own lives to help women gettheir bodies and their emotions
back on the same team.
(00:44):
Hi, love.
Welcome to Dear Divorce Diary,the podcast helping divorcees go
beyond talk therapy to processyour grief, find the healing you
crave, and build back yourconfidence.
I'm your host, Don Wiggins, atherapist, coach, integrative
healer, and divorce.
Join me for a fresh approach tohealing grief and building your
(01:04):
confidence after divorce.
We are really excited abouttoday's episode because it's
featuring things that we havebeen working on behind the
scenes like so hard, and they'resuch game changers in the world
(01:25):
of healing.
Solutions that you're not gonnafind just around the corner
everywhere.
And we really believe we'refilling a gap here where women
are lacking certain answers andaccess to resources.
So so excited.
The first thing we're gonna talkabout is the nervous system,
somatics, and the divorcerecovery nervous system quiz
that we have women complete.
(01:45):
So we're gonna explain what aresomatics, what does that have to
do with my nervous system, andhow is it gonna help my
hormones?
We're gonna explain all of thatbecause we've realized that we
talk about somatics a lot, butnot everybody knows what it is.
And then we are gonna talk aboutthe way we like to support
hormones and specifically hotflashes around here.
Um, because when you are in theweeds of divorce and all the
(02:07):
things, like hot flashes areoften that thing that literally
can push you over the edge tofeel like a total crazy person.
So we're gonna talk about wewhat we do over here to gently
support hormones and um clear upthose pesky hot flashes.
And then finally, at the end ofthe episode, you are gonna wanna
stay because there is anexclusive tool that only premium
listeners get access to.
(02:28):
And we are going to unpack thetool we use to help women get
grounded in their grief duringdivorce.
And this one, like I said,completely exclusive to our
premium listeners.
So you're gonna want to hearthat to the end.
All right, let's dig in.
Ladies.
How are you this morning?
Good morning.
I'm feeling good.
I feel like we're coming in.
(02:49):
Yeah, we're coming in again.
SPEAKER_02 (02:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:55):
Tiffany's Tiffany's being our grounding force this
morning.
I am.
I'm feeling super um today.
SPEAKER_00 (03:04):
Super um today.
Super um.
SPEAKER_01 (03:06):
Yeah.
I love it.
I love it.
Okay, let's talk a bit about ourdivorce recovery nervous system
quiz and how it focuses ongrief, nervous system hormones,
and somatics.
I think there are a lot ofthings we talk about over here
that we name, we put words tothings that women have been
(03:27):
experiencing and feeling orsensing, and maybe and helping
them connect the dots betweenwhy all of this feels like such
a mess and so hard to manage.
So we developed this quiz, thisdivorce recovery nervous system
quiz, because when we're goingthrough divorce, there's a whole
list of painful experiences wehave associated with that.
(03:48):
But there is a high incidence ofdivorce during especially
perimenopause and menopause.
And so there's typically thiswhole other thing that women are
having to tackle and deal withthat is also really, really
complex.
And then we have the nervoussystem element of all of that,
right?
What grief, what being singlemom, what being a stressed-out
(04:09):
woman in general, what havingall these hormone things going
on does to a woman's nervoussystem?
And so we really just wanted tohelp women uh see themselves in
their patterns and have a bettergrip on what's going on for them
and how that pairs with all theinformation we hear in the world
of mental health, attachmentstyles, you know, coping
(04:30):
strategies.
It's a lot.
Like, it's a lot.
Can you ladies remember and sortof relate to like when you're in
the weeds of healing, trying tokeep track of all the ways that
we talk about healing anymore?
It's so overwhelming.
SPEAKER_02 (04:45):
So you could be doing all the things right, but
you're not doing somatics.
So, like, is it actually movingout of your body?
So it's just like it keeps on.
I feel like that healing spacewhere I was so in the weeds and
um nose down, and you know, I Ino drinking, no uh eating bad
(05:08):
things, no like every choice Imade, I was like, is this
intentional best?
Right, is this the best versionof myself?
Because I everything else isfalling apart.
I can only control me.
And but it's like it it getsoverwhelming.
And then you have a health issueon top of it, which say hot
(05:31):
flashes, like you just can't,you cannot handle one more
thing.
SPEAKER_01 (05:35):
Mm-hmm.
Hot flashes or migraines orwhatever.
And I think to your point,right, you could be doing all
the right things like journalingand therapy and reading the
books and listening to thepodcast, but if you're not doing
somatics, are you moving theneedle?
And then I would add to that,and if your hormones are not
balanced, can you make a dent inany of it?
Because hormone health is mentalhealth.
And so, like if yourtestosterone is in the toilet or
your progesterone is in thetoilet or you're having really
(05:57):
extreme hot flashes, it's a signyour hormones aren't balanced.
And then wow, like it's reallyhard to move the needle on your
mental health when your hormonesare off.
SPEAKER_02 (06:06):
So fun fact when you go through a trauma or a
situation in which your worldcollapsed, all of those things
get aggravated.
Like everything goes to shitbecause, yes, because you're so
depleted and you're so insurvival mode and your quarter's
all shot and you're likeeverything just goes to shit.
SPEAKER_01 (06:24):
And so, in a little bit, we're gonna talk about one
of the things we use for hormonesupport, but let's talk a little
bit about somatics and thenervous system and what does
that mean.
So, I'm just going to firstexplain what do we mean when we
say somatics over here?
So the word somatic just reallymeans the body.
I believe it's Greek for soma,right?
Which is just means the body.
And so somatic work meansworking with the body to heal,
(06:47):
not just the mind.
So it's noticing what'shappening in your body, the
tight chest, the knot in yourstomach, the way your shoulders
live up by your ears, andhelping those patterns unwind in
the body rather always trying tounwind them from the mind.
Because stress, grief,heartbreak, they don't just live
in your thoughts, right?
They live in your muscles, yourbreath, your posture, your
(07:08):
nervous system.
So when we talk about somatichealing, we're talking about
reconnecting with your body,releasing tension you've been
carrying, feeling grounded andsafe again, rebuilding trust
from the body awareness upthrough the mind.
I think most of the times whenwe conceptualize healing, we
think of it happening like fromthings like divorce, we think of
(07:30):
it happening in the mind.
But really, what we've learnedover here, and you know, we hear
talked about around, you know,research done by Gabor Mate and
Bessel van der Kock and allthose people we always
reference, that really healingis profoundly happening in the
body more than the mind.
And so very often, especiallywhen we're incredibly stressed
or disassociated, the mind isnot a helpful tool.
(07:53):
We want to go in.
Yeah, we want to go in throughthe body.
So when we're talking aboutsomatics, it's a lot of where do
you feel that in your body?
Slow down, take a breath, do abody scan, a body scan, and tell
me what you're sensing in yourbody.
What do you each of you rememberabout in your healing journey
when you started reallyattending to what you were
(08:14):
feeling in your body?
How did that change your healingjourney?
SPEAKER_00 (08:17):
I think one of the most impactful things that I've
ever heard you say that was sosimple, but it was this big aha
moment for me was that we have amillion ways that we express
happiness.
We have one way that we expresssadness, which is through
crying.
And crying does not expel thatenergy from the body, right, in
a way that is impactful, that'sgonna move the stress out.
(08:39):
And so I remember just feelinglike, wow, like that's huge.
And I take that and I tell myclients that now all the time.
Like there is now you have tofigure out all the ways that you
can release grief and stress,just because crying's not gonna
do it.
It's just not gonna do it.
So when you tell me you've beencrying, it does it does a
certain amount of it, right?
SPEAKER_01 (08:58):
A little bit, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It does a certain amount of it.
Mm-hmm.
It is lubricating, it does detcrying is detoxifying, it is
lubricating, it is releasing,right, but it's like not the
whole picture.
Yeah.
unknown (09:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:14):
I didn't have the awareness back then, though, in
my healing journey early on, toknow that everything that I was
experiencing physically had todo with my mental health.
And I know that sounds reallysilly, but I really didn't.
Um, I had all these healthissues, you know, and then
during extreme times of stresswhen I developed the autoimmune
disease and the breasts andthings like that, that's when I
started trying to connect likeautoimmune disease relationship
(09:37):
to storing of stress and traumain the body and how it was
manifesting in my body.
And then even when I startedtaking certain homeopathic
remedies and I would presentwith different symptoms,
everything would present aroundbladder, kidney.
Like, so that's where I knowthat I hold stress, which is was
wild to me to make thatconnection.
SPEAKER_02 (09:56):
Yeah, along with Tiffany, I didn't really
connect.
I just knew I got really intorunning, and I just and um
Pilates, I did so I just knewthat I like it was a way to
manage my anxiety outside of,and so I did a lot of um, like I
bought a treadmill and and Iwould run, I haven't got a lawn
(10:19):
driveway, and I would run up anddown my driveway because I have
three small kids, so it's notlike I could go places, but I
would do so oh I still when Iget stressed, you'll swing me up
going up and down my driveway.
And so I didn't reallyunderstand what I was doing at
the time.
But knowing that if I put myshoes on and I went outside, I
(10:41):
didn't have wireless earbudsback then.
I didn't have any type of umway.
SPEAKER_01 (10:46):
Good.
Everybody kill your wirelessearbuds.
SPEAKER_02 (10:48):
Right.
I really kind of was able, notnot knowing it intentionally.
So I am telling you to do thisbecause it helps so much.
Like without music, without um,if you go outside and you're and
you're thinking about yoursituation and you're doing a
somatic like a jog or a Pilatesor some kind of discharge where
(11:10):
you have a physical release,release, it helps you so, so
deeply to process all of that.
And again, I didn't have thewherewithal to know what I was
doing, but now looking back andunderstanding somatics better
and understanding the need tonot be so inundated with
(11:31):
information and umover-stimulated.
So, like when you're running,yes, music is wonderful and it
helps you keep pace and allthese things, but it doesn't
help you clear your mind or yourbody.
SPEAKER_01 (11:41):
Process, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (11:42):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (11:42):
So um and it's doing more stimulation, right?
SPEAKER_02 (11:47):
And so going for walks, going to a run without
anything going on, um, a book ormusic or or anything like that,
it really does just clear andmake way for you to be able to
process and and kind ofdischarge some of that anxiety.
And and I did, I did my journeywithout, and I'm not saying this
(12:07):
is right for any for everybody,but I did my journey without
pharmaceuticals.
I didn't, um I had aprescription for an anti-anxiety
that I took as needed, but Itried very, very hard not to get
on anxiety medicine ordepression medicine because of
the statistics and the things.
(12:27):
And so I'm not saying thatthat's right for everybody, and
I'm not shaming you because I dothink it's a beautiful tool when
needed.
But if you can make thesechoices and do it without it,
like always try, right?
SPEAKER_00 (12:41):
Like strive to do it without pharmaceuticals.
I think that we all have theawareness too.
Like when people hear somatics,I feel like they get very in the
weeds about, okay, well, what isthat though, and how do I do it?
And there's so much likequestions.
When, like Joy said, your bodyinstinctively will tell you what
you need.
The problem is we're notlistening to it.
So I always ask my clients,like, what do you feel like you
(13:04):
need in this moment?
And a lot of them will say, Ifeel like I need to go walk or I
need to throw something.
Curl up in a ball, or like youknow it, right?
But I think too, what what themind gonna say it, I feel like
what the mind fuck is in thisgeneration, is that we have so
many opportunities forstimulation that when we become
(13:27):
aware of what we need, we don'ttake the action because there's
so many things that we could bedoing other than the things that
we need to be doing.
SPEAKER_01 (13:33):
Well, but it's it's it's two-pronged.
It's stimulation.
We're overstimulated and we'realso oversuppressed.
So A, there is so much noise inour systems, we often can't
discern the thing that we needmost, and then we are so
suppressed or numb via ourpharmaceuticals or our what
Brene Brown said so many yearsago: a beer and a banana nut
(13:54):
muffin, right?
Like we use food, we usescreens, we use pharmaceuticals,
we use alcohol, we use coffeeuntil wine, we use all these
things to suppress.
So we can't hear our innerwisdom, right?
So yeah.
Okay, awesome.
So for any woman who feels like,wow, this is an interesting
conversation, the intersectionof grief, modern living, maybe
perimenopause, menopausalissues, nervous system somatics,
(14:15):
right?
Please, if you haven't checkedout our divorce recovery nervous
system quiz, please, please,please do that because it's
going to help identify somepatterns and put some words to
things that you maybe haven'tyet connected the dots about,
right?
And then once we understandsomething better, then we can
tackle it better.
All right, let's dig into whatwe do around here for things
(14:35):
like hot flashes and hormonesupport.
So we have been behind thescenes, um, of course, treating
all of the folks that we workwith, um, you know, in therapy
and coaching and in our programat Different D Word using
homeopathics, but we've alsobeen developing our very own
product line that is coming tomarket in the next few months.
And so, in the meantime, I knowit's like ridiculously exciting.
(14:58):
So, one of the things we havebeen working on is a hot flash
support remedy, and it is readyto go.
And recently, actually, we putJoy on a hot flash uh support
blend and it changed her lifewithin, I don't know, what, five
days time, six days time?
SPEAKER_02 (15:14):
Yeah, it was when I tell you I had gotten to the
point where I'm I so I I have aum performance-based acceptance,
um, you know, a seed apart,right?
That um I am very, very good atjust being like, uh, you know,
like putting pushing it down.
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine,I'm fine, I'm fine.
(15:36):
It's not a big deal, it's not onfire.
It's just here and there.
It's a little, it's a little hotflash here and there.
I had gotten to the point whereI could not function.
Like it was on my head.
SPEAKER_01 (15:46):
Touch the top of my head, touch the top of my head,
you took my head, touch the topof my head, and it was on fire.
And hot flashes can manifest ina lot of different parts in the
body, but there are a lot ofpeople that experience them at
the top of the head like that.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (15:57):
It was intense.
And so I finally was just like,Don, I just like I I just need
help.
I just need support.
And I felt like a burden and Ihad to work through all my parts
and everything.
And when she put me on it, uhoh, and she was just like, duh,
like this is a product, just trythis, right?
So she put me on it.
I um was just like, it's it justit just doesn't work.
(16:20):
It doesn't work.
And she was like, Joy, like takea breath and do the breath.
Yeah, yeah, give a time.
And so, and then I haven't hadone since.
And when I tell you the reliefthat I feel that I can function
on a regular talking to someoneface to face and not feeling
this the bead sweats start onthe face, like it's embarrassing
(16:43):
where it's like 40 degreesoutside and you're sweating.
Um, have you guys has anybodyseen that that uh clip on social
media that went viral about thisbeautiful black woman in a um
like a like a bleacher scene andliterally smoke or steam was
billowing from her and she wasin a scarf.
It was like no it was like aliteral hot flash.
(17:06):
That is me every day, all day.
And so I uh will I will die onthe hill that this changed my
life.
That is amazing.
SPEAKER_01 (17:17):
Can we use a handful of a follow-up question?
Tell me.
SPEAKER_00 (17:19):
Yeah, yeah, tell me.
So the follow-up question isbecause your hot flashes have
gone away, are you gonna turninto a summer beach girl now?
SPEAKER_02 (17:26):
Probably not because I live I do.
I live my best life in the cold.
Like go outside and you fillyour your breath, you fill your
lungs with cold air and a firepit.
I can't really see myself beinga summer beach girl, but maybe I
can handle it.
Maybe I won't be.
My husband says all the time,Joy, nobody likes you when
(17:48):
you're hot.
And so I felt like the last Ifelt the last few months have
been nobody, I've just not been,not been my uh living my best
life.
Um, I didn't, I didn't sufferfor months, but like it had
gotten to the point where I wasI was really struggling.
And so knowing that we have aproduct that can do that can
(18:12):
move the needle and give a womansuch relief, like, why aren't we
screaming it from the rooftops?
SPEAKER_01 (18:18):
You know, like well, we're getting ready to get
ready.
SPEAKER_02 (18:20):
Let's put this on let's put this on glass, ladies.
SPEAKER_01 (18:24):
Yeah, so our hot flash remedy blend, it has a lot
of different remedies in it,right?
A handful of like stars of theshow homeopathically, where it
comes to hormones and hotflashes in general.
One of um Coach Tiffany'sfavorite remedies, sepia, has a
little sepia in it along withsome others, but then it also
has some hormone supplementationin there in, you know,
homeopathic potency.
(18:44):
So we definitely are gently umsupporting the estrogen and um
the progesterone and a handfulof other things.
We're also supporting the partof the br parts of the brain
that regulate um hormones andhot flashes and all of those
things.
So it's a multifaceted approachto um, you know, really hormone
support and nervous systemsupport.
So we would like to see womenlike have less hot flashes,
(19:07):
sleep better, less mood swings,you know, um, less cortisol
spikes, like all these thingsthat would just help smooth all
of that out.
So we are really, reallyexcited.
So if this is something you'reinterested in, go ahead.
SPEAKER_02 (19:18):
Yeah, I was gonna say, I just really love, um, I
really love that you added theregulate sleep and wake cycles
um remedy because you know, youheal your best, your body does
its best work when you'reasleep.
And so for you to be able toregulate your sleep and your
wake cycles of hormoneproduction, um, it's just like
(19:38):
it's a next level.
There's not another product onthe market that does such a
well-rounded support of youradrenals and your sleep and your
hormones, and like just it'sjust such a beautiful product.
SPEAKER_01 (19:52):
Hoorays! So if this is something you're interested
in, uh there will be a link inthe show notes where you can
shoot us an order form uh andyou know, try it for yourself.
Super exciting.
So, ladies, we have this finalthing we're gonna talk about
that's completely exclusive forour premium listeners.
And that's because we are reallymoving in the direction of
(20:13):
premium listenership, is it's alifestyle, right?
And there's an exclusivity toit, right?
We are wanting to buildcommunity.
That is one of our top linegoals here is that divorce is
one of the most isolatingexperiences.
It's devastating, and we'rewanting to build, build, build
community.
And so in our premiumlistenership community, you are
now having access to monthlyworkshops, and you get access to
(20:37):
all of these great healingtools, and you get exclusive
access to our divorce recoveryhomeopathic blend.
Nobody else gets to purchasethis product, only premium
listeners or people who are inour paid community.
So we developed this divorcerecovery blend to specifically
address the type of grief thatdivorce is, because grief is
(20:59):
multifaceted, and there are alot of grief products out there
to help you support movingthrough grief, but it's not
nuanced for divorce.
Divorce has an incredible amountof anger, an incredible amount
of identity-related pain andsuffering, incredible amount of
betrayal.
Um, you know, there are just somany facets of divorce that are
(21:21):
unique to the way that womengrieve.
And so this is a homeopathicblend that we designed very,
very specifically with some verycool niche homeopathic remedies
that really help women movethrough the stuckness of divorce
recovery, move through thegrief, move through the anger
and the resentment, sleepbetter, rest better, process
better.
(21:42):
And it's really exciting.
SPEAKER_02 (21:43):
I love this bespoke product for our listeners who
are going through divorcebecause it's so tailored to
their moment in time and theirjourney.
One of the one of the quotesthat comes with this is that we
can all relate to in this momentwas um, I've been rejected so
(22:04):
deeply, I'm not sure I'm humananymore.
I'm unworthy, tainted, andoutside the circle of life.
Right.
Like that's such a quote from alistener that we were just like,
Don used all of her knowledge onhomeopathy, all of her hours and
hours and hours, and I'm notbeing dramatic, like hours of
reading and learning and schooland everything to create this
(22:27):
product that is so bespoke tothis moment for our listeners
that I just feel so proud.
I'm proud of Dawn, I'm proud ofthis product, I'm proud to be a
part of it.
Like it's just it would be sucha warm hug for you at this
moment in time.
SPEAKER_01 (22:47):
That was amazing.
Okay, so Coach Tiffany, you haveused homeopathy, your family is
using homeopathy, your clientsare using homeopathy, right?
Talk about what our premiumlisteners could anticipate
pairing something like thisexclusive divorce recovery blend
and attending your monthlyworkshops inside of our
Heartbeat community.
(23:07):
What do you think would be thedifference for a woman who
attends the workshop, takes ahomeopathic remedy versus a
woman who doesn't?
What's your sort of before andafter observation from your
life, your family's life, yourclients' lives, you know, life
before, life after?
SPEAKER_00 (23:21):
I would tell you that before I met Don, I was not
familiar with homeopathy at all.
It wasn't that I didn't believein it, but it was kind of one of
those woo-woo things that wasout there that I was like, okay,
I've heard of it, right?
Does it work?
I don't know.
I was somebody that was onantidepressants for over a
decade, you know, and I also, mydaughter, um, she also has some
mental health struggles, youknow, she's about to be 21 years
(23:43):
old.
They had tried her on differentmedications and pharmaceuticals.
Nothing has pushed the needlefurther than homeopathy for her,
period.
I swear by it, I recommend it toall of my friends.
It's literally like I want toshout it from the rooftop.
And I can tell you that I had adivorce client who at the time
(24:04):
was not taking homeopathicremedies.
We got her pretty far with IFS,but once the remedy started and
she finally said, I want to tryit, the amount of healing and
relief that she has gotten,there is no comparison to what
homeopathy can do to transcendyour healing when you're pairing
it with IFS, EMDR.
The first workshop that we havecoming up, I'm so excited.
(24:27):
So all of our premium listenersget, yeah, they get access to a
free workshop, free liveworkshop with me every month.
The first one we're doing, we'vealready got women RSVP and I'm
so excited.
We're gonna talk about nervoussystem 101 and how your anxiety
is actually your bestie, whatyou can learn from it, how to be
able to control it, differenttools.
Like we are on fire, and everymonth we have these incredible
(24:49):
workshops to help take youfurther and further through your
healing journey.
Obsessed.
SPEAKER_01 (24:55):
Amazing.
So there are a lot of ways foryou to get involved, to be a
part of our community, to reallysupercharge at this moment in
your life.
If any of these things appeal toyou today, just reach out and
ask us like, how can I get moreconnected?
How can I, you know, become apremium subscriber?
How can I access, you know, thedivorce recovery blend or the
(25:17):
hot flash blend?
PS, we have so many otheramazing products coming to
market.
Um, and and we just can't waitto tell you all about all of
them.
But these are the first two, andyou're the first to hear about
it, honestly.
Like, so uh we're just reallyexcited to share all these
things with you and want toencourage you to just get
involved, be a part ofsomething.
Um, because you coulddramatically shortcut how long
(25:40):
you are in sort of the weeds ofrecovery by using these tools
that we have just seen shortcutpeople's healing processes,
smooth out the edges of people'shealing processes, get deeper
than anything else we've seen.
These are the tools we wish wehad back then, right?
And that's sort of, yeah, that'ssort of the whole deal.
We we did it without thesetools.
Do not recommend it.
(26:01):
Do not recommend zero stars,zero stars.
Yeah.
Awesome.
Thanks, ladies.
We love you so much.
Peace.
Tuesday, we talked with the Menopause Love Lounge
about what happens when yourhormones and your emotions
during divorce feel like they'recollaboratively ganging up on
you.
You're tired, you're snappy,you're bloated, you're
sleepless, and half the time youcannot tell if you're healing or
falling apart.
And so today we're gonna bringin some solutions.
(00:23):
Tiffany, Joy, and I are gonnawalk you through the practical
tools that we recommend thatbring relief, the same ones we
use inside of our community,inside of our families and our
own lives to help women gettheir bodies and their emotions
back on the same team.
(00:44):
Hi, love.
Welcome to Dear Divorce Diary,the podcast helping divorcees go
beyond talk therapy to processyour grief, find the healing you
crave, and build back yourconfidence.
I'm your host, Don Wiggins, atherapist, coach, integrative
healer, and divorce.
Join me for a fresh approach tohealing grief and building your
(01:04):
confidence after divorce.
We are really excited abouttoday's episode because it's
featuring things that we havebeen working on behind the
scenes like so hard, and they'resuch game changers in the world
(01:25):
of healing.
Solutions that you're not gonnafind just around the corner
everywhere.
And we really believe we'refilling a gap here where women
are lacking certain answers andaccess to resources.
So so excited.
The first thing we're gonna talkabout is the nervous system,
somatics, and the divorcerecovery nervous system quiz
that we have women complete.
(01:45):
So we're gonna explain what aresomatics, what does that have to
do with my nervous system, andhow is it gonna help my
hormones?
We're gonna explain all of thatbecause we've realized that we
talk about somatics a lot, butnot everybody knows what it is.
And then we are gonna talk aboutthe way we like to support
hormones and specifically hotflashes around here.
Um, because when you are in theweeds of divorce and all the
(02:07):
things, like hot flashes areoften that thing that literally
can push you over the edge tofeel like a total crazy person.
So we're gonna talk about wewhat we do over here to gently
support hormones and um clear upthose pesky hot flashes.
And then finally, at the end ofthe episode, you are gonna wanna
stay because there is anexclusive tool that only premium
listeners get access to.
(02:28):
And we are going to unpack thetool we use to help women get
grounded in their grief duringdivorce.
And this one, like I said,completely exclusive to our
premium listeners.
So you're gonna want to hearthat to the end.
All right, let's dig in.
Ladies.
How are you this morning?
Good morning.
I'm feeling good.
I feel like we're coming in.
(02:49):
Yeah, we're coming in again.
SPEAKER_02 (02:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:55):
Tiffany's Tiffany's being our grounding force this
morning.
I am.
I'm feeling super um today.
SPEAKER_00 (03:04):
Super um today.
Super um.
SPEAKER_01 (03:06):
Yeah.
I love it.
I love it.
Okay, let's talk a bit about ourdivorce recovery nervous system
quiz and how it focuses ongrief, nervous system hormones,
and somatics.
I think there are a lot ofthings we talk about over here
that we name, we put words tothings that women have been
(03:27):
experiencing and feeling orsensing, and maybe and helping
them connect the dots betweenwhy all of this feels like such
a mess and so hard to manage.
So we developed this quiz, thisdivorce recovery nervous system
quiz, because when we're goingthrough divorce, there's a whole
list of painful experiences wehave associated with that.
(03:48):
But there is a high incidence ofdivorce during especially
perimenopause and menopause.
And so there's typically thiswhole other thing that women are
having to tackle and deal withthat is also really, really
complex.
And then we have the nervoussystem element of all of that,
right?
What grief, what being singlemom, what being a stressed-out
(04:09):
woman in general, what havingall these hormone things going
on does to a woman's nervoussystem?
And so we really just wanted tohelp women uh see themselves in
their patterns and have a bettergrip on what's going on for them
and how that pairs with all theinformation we hear in the world
of mental health, attachmentstyles, you know, coping
(04:30):
strategies.
It's a lot.
Like, it's a lot.
Can you ladies remember and sortof relate to like when you're in
the weeds of healing, trying tokeep track of all the ways that
we talk about healing anymore?
It's so overwhelming.
SPEAKER_02 (04:45):
So you could be doing all the things right, but
you're not doing somatics.
So, like, is it actually movingout of your body?
So it's just like it keeps on.
I feel like that healing spacewhere I was so in the weeds and
um nose down, and you know, I Ino drinking, no uh eating bad
(05:08):
things, no like every choice Imade, I was like, is this
intentional best?
Right, is this the best versionof myself?
Because I everything else isfalling apart.
I can only control me.
And but it's like it it getsoverwhelming.
And then you have a health issueon top of it, which say hot
(05:31):
flashes, like you just can't,you cannot handle one more
thing.
SPEAKER_01 (05:35):
Mm-hmm.
Hot flashes or migraines orwhatever.
And I think to your point,right, you could be doing all
the right things like journalingand therapy and reading the
books and listening to thepodcast, but if you're not doing
somatics, are you moving theneedle?
And then I would add to that,and if your hormones are not
balanced, can you make a dent inany of it?
Because hormone health is mentalhealth.
And so, like if yourtestosterone is in the toilet or
your progesterone is in thetoilet or you're having really
(05:57):
extreme hot flashes, it's a signyour hormones aren't balanced.
And then wow, like it's reallyhard to move the needle on your
mental health when your hormonesare off.
SPEAKER_02 (06:06):
So fun fact when you go through a trauma or a
situation in which your worldcollapsed, all of those things
get aggravated.
Like everything goes to shitbecause, yes, because you're so
depleted and you're so insurvival mode and your quarter's
all shot and you're likeeverything just goes to shit.
SPEAKER_01 (06:24):
And so, in a little bit, we're gonna talk about one
of the things we use for hormonesupport, but let's talk a little
bit about somatics and thenervous system and what does
that mean.
So, I'm just going to firstexplain what do we mean when we
say somatics over here?
So the word somatic just reallymeans the body.
I believe it's Greek for soma,right?
Which is just means the body.
And so somatic work meansworking with the body to heal,
(06:47):
not just the mind.
So it's noticing what'shappening in your body, the
tight chest, the knot in yourstomach, the way your shoulders
live up by your ears, andhelping those patterns unwind in
the body rather always trying tounwind them from the mind.
Because stress, grief,heartbreak, they don't just live
in your thoughts, right?
They live in your muscles, yourbreath, your posture, your
(07:08):
nervous system.
So when we talk about somatichealing, we're talking about
reconnecting with your body,releasing tension you've been
carrying, feeling grounded andsafe again, rebuilding trust
from the body awareness upthrough the mind.
I think most of the times whenwe conceptualize healing, we
think of it happening like fromthings like divorce, we think of
(07:30):
it happening in the mind.
But really, what we've learnedover here, and you know, we hear
talked about around, you know,research done by Gabor Mate and
Bessel van der Kock and allthose people we always
reference, that really healingis profoundly happening in the
body more than the mind.
And so very often, especiallywhen we're incredibly stressed
or disassociated, the mind isnot a helpful tool.
(07:53):
We want to go in.
Yeah, we want to go in throughthe body.
So when we're talking aboutsomatics, it's a lot of where do
you feel that in your body?
Slow down, take a breath, do abody scan, a body scan, and tell
me what you're sensing in yourbody.
What do you each of you rememberabout in your healing journey
when you started reallyattending to what you were
(08:14):
feeling in your body?
How did that change your healingjourney?
SPEAKER_00 (08:17):
I think one of the most impactful things that I've
ever heard you say that was sosimple, but it was this big aha
moment for me was that we have amillion ways that we express
happiness.
We have one way that we expresssadness, which is through
crying.
And crying does not expel thatenergy from the body, right, in
a way that is impactful, that'sgonna move the stress out.
(08:39):
And so I remember just feelinglike, wow, like that's huge.
And I take that and I tell myclients that now all the time.
Like there is now you have tofigure out all the ways that you
can release grief and stress,just because crying's not gonna
do it.
It's just not gonna do it.
So when you tell me you've beencrying, it does it does a
certain amount of it, right?
SPEAKER_01 (08:58):
A little bit, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It does a certain amount of it.
Mm-hmm.
It is lubricating, it does detcrying is detoxifying, it is
lubricating, it is releasing,right, but it's like not the
whole picture.
Yeah.
unknown (09:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:14):
I didn't have the awareness back then, though, in
my healing journey early on, toknow that everything that I was
experiencing physically had todo with my mental health.
And I know that sounds reallysilly, but I really didn't.
Um, I had all these healthissues, you know, and then
during extreme times of stresswhen I developed the autoimmune
disease and the breasts andthings like that, that's when I
started trying to connect likeautoimmune disease relationship
(09:37):
to storing of stress and traumain the body and how it was
manifesting in my body.
And then even when I startedtaking certain homeopathic
remedies and I would presentwith different symptoms,
everything would present aroundbladder, kidney.
Like, so that's where I knowthat I hold stress, which is was
wild to me to make thatconnection.
SPEAKER_02 (09:56):
Yeah, along with Tiffany, I didn't really
connect.
I just knew I got really intorunning, and I just and um
Pilates, I did so I just knewthat I like it was a way to
manage my anxiety outside of,and so I did a lot of um, like I
bought a treadmill and and Iwould run, I haven't got a lawn
(10:19):
driveway, and I would run up anddown my driveway because I have
three small kids, so it's notlike I could go places, but I
would do so oh I still when Iget stressed, you'll swing me up
going up and down my driveway.
And so I didn't reallyunderstand what I was doing at
the time.
But knowing that if I put myshoes on and I went outside, I
(10:41):
didn't have wireless earbudsback then.
I didn't have any type of umway.
SPEAKER_01 (10:46):
Good.
Everybody kill your wirelessearbuds.
SPEAKER_02 (10:48):
Right.
I really kind of was able, notnot knowing it intentionally.
So I am telling you to do thisbecause it helps so much.
Like without music, without um,if you go outside and you're and
you're thinking about yoursituation and you're doing a
somatic like a jog or a Pilatesor some kind of discharge where
(11:10):
you have a physical release,release, it helps you so, so
deeply to process all of that.
And again, I didn't have thewherewithal to know what I was
doing, but now looking back andunderstanding somatics better
and understanding the need tonot be so inundated with
(11:31):
information and umover-stimulated.
So, like when you're running,yes, music is wonderful and it
helps you keep pace and allthese things, but it doesn't
help you clear your mind or yourbody.
SPEAKER_01 (11:41):
Process, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (11:42):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (11:42):
So um and it's doing more stimulation, right?
SPEAKER_02 (11:47):
And so going for walks, going to a run without
anything going on, um, a book ormusic or or anything like that,
it really does just clear andmake way for you to be able to
process and and kind ofdischarge some of that anxiety.
And and I did, I did my journeywithout, and I'm not saying this
(12:07):
is right for any for everybody,but I did my journey without
pharmaceuticals.
I didn't, um I had aprescription for an anti-anxiety
that I took as needed, but Itried very, very hard not to get
on anxiety medicine ordepression medicine because of
the statistics and the things.
(12:27):
And so I'm not saying thatthat's right for everybody, and
I'm not shaming you because I dothink it's a beautiful tool when
needed.
But if you can make thesechoices and do it without it,
like always try, right?
SPEAKER_00 (12:41):
Like strive to do it without pharmaceuticals.
I think that we all have theawareness too.
Like when people hear somatics,I feel like they get very in the
weeds about, okay, well, what isthat though, and how do I do it?
And there's so much likequestions.
When, like Joy said, your bodyinstinctively will tell you what
you need.
The problem is we're notlistening to it.
So I always ask my clients,like, what do you feel like you
(13:04):
need in this moment?
And a lot of them will say, Ifeel like I need to go walk or I
need to throw something.
Curl up in a ball, or like youknow it, right?
But I think too, what what themind gonna say it, I feel like
what the mind fuck is in thisgeneration, is that we have so
many opportunities forstimulation that when we become
(13:27):
aware of what we need, we don'ttake the action because there's
so many things that we could bedoing other than the things that
we need to be doing.
SPEAKER_01 (13:33):
Well, but it's it's it's two-pronged.
It's stimulation.
We're overstimulated and we'realso oversuppressed.
So A, there is so much noise inour systems, we often can't
discern the thing that we needmost, and then we are so
suppressed or numb via ourpharmaceuticals or our what
Brene Brown said so many yearsago: a beer and a banana nut
(13:54):
muffin, right?
Like we use food, we usescreens, we use pharmaceuticals,
we use alcohol, we use coffeeuntil wine, we use all these
things to suppress.
So we can't hear our innerwisdom, right?
So yeah.
Okay, awesome.
So for any woman who feels like,wow, this is an interesting
conversation, the intersectionof grief, modern living, maybe
perimenopause, menopausalissues, nervous system somatics,
(14:15):
right?
Please, if you haven't checkedout our divorce recovery nervous
system quiz, please, please,please do that because it's
going to help identify somepatterns and put some words to
things that you maybe haven'tyet connected the dots about,
right?
And then once we understandsomething better, then we can
tackle it better.
All right, let's dig into whatwe do around here for things
(14:35):
like hot flashes and hormonesupport.
So we have been behind thescenes, um, of course, treating
all of the folks that we workwith, um, you know, in therapy
and coaching and in our programat Different D Word using
homeopathics, but we've alsobeen developing our very own
product line that is coming tomarket in the next few months.
And so, in the meantime, I knowit's like ridiculously exciting.
(14:58):
So, one of the things we havebeen working on is a hot flash
support remedy, and it is readyto go.
And recently, actually, we putJoy on a hot flash uh support
blend and it changed her lifewithin, I don't know, what, five
days time, six days time?
SPEAKER_02 (15:14):
Yeah, it was when I tell you I had gotten to the
point where I'm I so I I have aum performance-based acceptance,
um, you know, a seed apart,right?
That um I am very, very good atjust being like, uh, you know,
like putting pushing it down.
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine,I'm fine, I'm fine.
(15:36):
It's not a big deal, it's not onfire.
It's just here and there.
It's a little, it's a little hotflash here and there.
I had gotten to the point whereI could not function.
Like it was on my head.
SPEAKER_01 (15:46):
Touch the top of my head, touch the top of my head,
you took my head, touch the topof my head, and it was on fire.
And hot flashes can manifest ina lot of different parts in the
body, but there are a lot ofpeople that experience them at
the top of the head like that.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (15:57):
It was intense.
And so I finally was just like,Don, I just like I I just need
help.
I just need support.
And I felt like a burden and Ihad to work through all my parts
and everything.
And when she put me on it, uhoh, and she was just like, duh,
like this is a product, just trythis, right?
So she put me on it.
I um was just like, it's it justit just doesn't work.
(16:20):
It doesn't work.
And she was like, Joy, like takea breath and do the breath.
Yeah, yeah, give a time.
And so, and then I haven't hadone since.
And when I tell you the reliefthat I feel that I can function
on a regular talking to someoneface to face and not feeling
this the bead sweats start onthe face, like it's embarrassing
(16:43):
where it's like 40 degreesoutside and you're sweating.
Um, have you guys has anybodyseen that that uh clip on social
media that went viral about thisbeautiful black woman in a um
like a like a bleacher scene andliterally smoke or steam was
billowing from her and she wasin a scarf.
It was like no it was like aliteral hot flash.
(17:06):
That is me every day, all day.
And so I uh will I will die onthe hill that this changed my
life.
That is amazing.
SPEAKER_01 (17:17):
Can we use a handful of a follow-up question?
Tell me.
SPEAKER_00 (17:19):
Yeah, yeah, tell me.
So the follow-up question isbecause your hot flashes have
gone away, are you gonna turninto a summer beach girl now?
SPEAKER_02 (17:26):
Probably not because I live I do.
I live my best life in the cold.
Like go outside and you fillyour your breath, you fill your
lungs with cold air and a firepit.
I can't really see myself beinga summer beach girl, but maybe I
can handle it.
Maybe I won't be.
My husband says all the time,Joy, nobody likes you when
(17:48):
you're hot.
And so I felt like the last Ifelt the last few months have
been nobody, I've just not been,not been my uh living my best
life.
Um, I didn't, I didn't sufferfor months, but like it had
gotten to the point where I wasI was really struggling.
And so knowing that we have aproduct that can do that can
(18:12):
move the needle and give a womansuch relief, like, why aren't we
screaming it from the rooftops?
SPEAKER_01 (18:18):
You know, like well, we're getting ready to get
ready.
SPEAKER_02 (18:20):
Let's put this on let's put this on glass, ladies.
SPEAKER_01 (18:24):
Yeah, so our hot flash remedy blend, it has a lot
of different remedies in it,right?
A handful of like stars of theshow homeopathically, where it
comes to hormones and hotflashes in general.
One of um Coach Tiffany'sfavorite remedies, sepia, has a
little sepia in it along withsome others, but then it also
has some hormone supplementationin there in, you know,
homeopathic potency.
(18:44):
So we definitely are gently umsupporting the estrogen and um
the progesterone and a handfulof other things.
We're also supporting the partof the br parts of the brain
that regulate um hormones andhot flashes and all of those
things.
So it's a multifaceted approachto um, you know, really hormone
support and nervous systemsupport.
So we would like to see womenlike have less hot flashes,
(19:07):
sleep better, less mood swings,you know, um, less cortisol
spikes, like all these thingsthat would just help smooth all
of that out.
So we are really, reallyexcited.
So if this is something you'reinterested in, go ahead.
SPEAKER_02 (19:18):
Yeah, I was gonna say, I just really love, um, I
really love that you added theregulate sleep and wake cycles
um remedy because you know, youheal your best, your body does
its best work when you'reasleep.
And so for you to be able toregulate your sleep and your
wake cycles of hormoneproduction, um, it's just like
(19:38):
it's a next level.
There's not another product onthe market that does such a
well-rounded support of youradrenals and your sleep and your
hormones, and like just it'sjust such a beautiful product.
SPEAKER_01 (19:52):
Hoorays! So if this is something you're interested
in, uh there will be a link inthe show notes where you can
shoot us an order form uh andyou know, try it for yourself.
Super exciting.
So, ladies, we have this finalthing we're gonna talk about
that's completely exclusive forour premium listeners.
And that's because we are reallymoving in the direction of
(20:13):
premium listenership, is it's alifestyle, right?
And there's an exclusivity toit, right?
We are wanting to buildcommunity.
That is one of our top linegoals here is that divorce is
one of the most isolatingexperiences.
It's devastating, and we'rewanting to build, build, build
community.
And so in our premiumlistenership community, you are
now having access to monthlyworkshops, and you get access to
(20:37):
all of these great healingtools, and you get exclusive
access to our divorce recoveryhomeopathic blend.
Nobody else gets to purchasethis product, only premium
listeners or people who are inour paid community.
So we developed this divorcerecovery blend to specifically
address the type of grief thatdivorce is, because grief is
(20:59):
multifaceted, and there are alot of grief products out there
to help you support movingthrough grief, but it's not
nuanced for divorce.
Divorce has an incredible amountof anger, an incredible amount
of identity-related pain andsuffering, incredible amount of
betrayal.
Um, you know, there are just somany facets of divorce that are
(21:21):
unique to the way that womengrieve.
And so this is a homeopathicblend that we designed very,
very specifically with some verycool niche homeopathic remedies
that really help women movethrough the stuckness of divorce
recovery, move through thegrief, move through the anger
and the resentment, sleepbetter, rest better, process
better.
(21:42):
And it's really exciting.
SPEAKER_02 (21:43):
I love this bespoke product for our listeners who
are going through divorcebecause it's so tailored to
their moment in time and theirjourney.
One of the one of the quotesthat comes with this is that we
can all relate to in this momentwas um, I've been rejected so
(22:04):
deeply, I'm not sure I'm humananymore.
I'm unworthy, tainted, andoutside the circle of life.
Right.
Like that's such a quote from alistener that we were just like,
Don used all of her knowledge onhomeopathy, all of her hours and
hours and hours, and I'm notbeing dramatic, like hours of
reading and learning and schooland everything to create this
(22:27):
product that is so bespoke tothis moment for our listeners
that I just feel so proud.
I'm proud of Dawn, I'm proud ofthis product, I'm proud to be a
part of it.
Like it's just it would be sucha warm hug for you at this
moment in time.
SPEAKER_01 (22:47):
That was amazing.
Okay, so Coach Tiffany, you haveused homeopathy, your family is
using homeopathy, your clientsare using homeopathy, right?
Talk about what our premiumlisteners could anticipate
pairing something like thisexclusive divorce recovery blend
and attending your monthlyworkshops inside of our
Heartbeat community.
(23:07):
What do you think would be thedifference for a woman who
attends the workshop, takes ahomeopathic remedy versus a
woman who doesn't?
What's your sort of before andafter observation from your
life, your family's life, yourclients' lives, you know, life
before, life after?
SPEAKER_00 (23:21):
I would tell you that before I met Don, I was not
familiar with homeopathy at all.
It wasn't that I didn't believein it, but it was kind of one of
those woo-woo things that wasout there that I was like, okay,
I've heard of it, right?
Does it work?
I don't know.
I was somebody that was onantidepressants for over a
decade, you know, and I also, mydaughter, um, she also has some
mental health struggles, youknow, she's about to be 21 years
(23:43):
old.
They had tried her on differentmedications and pharmaceuticals.
Nothing has pushed the needlefurther than homeopathy for her,
period.
I swear by it, I recommend it toall of my friends.
It's literally like I want toshout it from the rooftop.
And I can tell you that I had adivorce client who at the time
(24:04):
was not taking homeopathicremedies.
We got her pretty far with IFS,but once the remedy started and
she finally said, I want to tryit, the amount of healing and
relief that she has gotten,there is no comparison to what
homeopathy can do to transcendyour healing when you're pairing
it with IFS, EMDR.
The first workshop that we havecoming up, I'm so excited.
(24:27):
So all of our premium listenersget, yeah, they get access to a
free workshop, free liveworkshop with me every month.
The first one we're doing, we'vealready got women RSVP and I'm
so excited.
We're gonna talk about nervoussystem 101 and how your anxiety
is actually your bestie, whatyou can learn from it, how to be
able to control it, differenttools.
Like we are on fire, and everymonth we have these incredible
(24:49):
workshops to help take youfurther and further through your
healing journey.
Obsessed.
SPEAKER_01 (24:55):
Amazing.
So there are a lot of ways foryou to get involved, to be a
part of our community, to reallysupercharge at this moment in
your life.
If any of these things appeal toyou today, just reach out and
ask us like, how can I get moreconnected?
How can I, you know, become apremium subscriber?
How can I access, you know, thedivorce recovery blend or the
(25:17):
hot flash blend?
PS, we have so many otheramazing products coming to
market.
Um, and and we just can't waitto tell you all about all of
them.
But these are the first two, andyou're the first to hear about
it, honestly.
Like, so uh we're just reallyexcited to share all these
things with you and want toencourage you to just get
involved, be a part ofsomething.
Um, because you coulddramatically shortcut how long
(25:40):
you are in sort of the weeds ofrecovery by using these tools
that we have just seen shortcutpeople's healing processes,
smooth out the edges of people'shealing processes, get deeper
than anything else we've seen.
These are the tools we wish wehad back then, right?
And that's sort of, yeah, that'ssort of the whole deal.
We we did it without thesetools.
Do not recommend it.
(26:01):
Do not recommend zero stars,zero stars.
Yeah.
Awesome.
Thanks, ladies.
We love you so much.
Peace.
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