#TimaTalks: Goal Setting vs ”Your Ideal Self” with Tima Elhajj

Each week we will deconstruct a concept, an idea, a thought.  Basically it will be something valuable to you. Here at the Deconstructing Success Podcast our focus is for you to take action so we can help you & inspire you to improve your thoughts and ultimately your life.  

This week we are deconstructing “identity drives behaviour”.  

 

In today’s episode we discuss:

• The concept of “Identity drives behaviour”.
• Why this is powerful.
• The process on how to do this.
• What to do when faced with challenges.

 

This is not just about money, work & business.  This is about transforming your identity and applying these behaviours (habits) every day to make changes in all areas of your life. 

The areas to look at include; your career, your wealth, your health, your relationships, your family, your friendships, your community & your spirituality.

Every area that you want to create a change for must be accompanied with a paragraph describing your ideal self.  So once you have chosen what your identity will be, think of how this person show’s up in many scenarios;

 

• the good and the bad
• work & family
• when confronted with challenges
• when they are celebrating
• their morning / night routine
• the foods that they eat
• how they deal with stressful situations
• what type of clothes do they wear
• how they speak when under pressure
• how they lead their family, wife / husband, children etc.

 

Be very specific here. Be detailed and include descriptions including, what you are wearing, how you are feeling, the smells and colours of your surroundings, the time of the year it is, describe every possible detail that you can think of. 

The identity and the scenarios need to feel real in your mind, this is why describing things in such a depth is important.

This exercise will show you the person you are capable of becoming. 

Start each paragraph with.....

• "As a business woman/man I want to......."
• "As a wealthy woman/man I want to......."
• "As a healthy woman/man I want to......."
• "As a wife/husband/partner I want to......."
• "As a mother/father/brother/sister/daughter/son/family member I want to......."
• "As a friend I want to......."
• "As a community member I want to......."
• "As a spiritual person I want to......."

 

When you are writing your paragraph, detail how you will face challenges as well as your successes.  So when you are writing these descriptive paragraphs, If you are including other people who are in your life / may want to have in your life also describe how you want to make them feel through the action you are taking by applying these behaviours.  Be detailed, be specific, be creative and have fun whilst doing this. 

So with this identity you are constructing you also need to construct a new internal dialogue so that when you are applying the behaviours / habits, you believe them to be true.  Of course, it is not just about thinking it, it is only powerful & results will come through with application.

 

• I am a creative, so I need to create everyday.
• I am a writer, so I need to write everyday.
• I am a runner, so I need to run everyday.

 

Think of the outcomes that you want in your life and ask yourself this question…

 

“Who is the type of person that (fill in the gaps)?”  For example, “Who is the type of person that writes a book?”  

 

Another powerful question to ask yourself throughout the day when faced with challenges is this, so for example let’s say you want to be healthy and you have not prepared a healthy mean for yourself and you are hungry and want to eat.  You could order fast food or a salad. 

 

The question to ask here is, “what would a healthy person do?”

 

The point of all of this is that if you act / show up as this person (this identity) you have created for yourself, you apply these behaviours on a daily basis then you will eventually become that person.  Focus on becoming this type of person everyday.  The frequency is just as important as everything else we covered today.

You have the power to change your beliefs about yourself.  Your identity is not set in stone and we all have the ability to change our beliefs through applying different behaviours or applying habits. 

The more you repeat a habit / behaviour the more you will reinforce the identity associated with that behaviour.  So the more evidence you have for a belief, you will organically believe in this in a powerful way.

Our lives are a series of moments, and you have a choice in every moment.  

2020 was a challenging year for all of us, but I want you to think of all of the