Fireside Chat with Sandy Russell

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This week on Ducking Realitea, I sit down with my mentor, former boss, and lifelong badass Sandy Russell, someone I talk about all the time for good reason. Sandy is co-owner of Alameda’s beloved Fireside Lounge, a community hub known for live music, trivia, queer-friendly fundraisers, and the iconic “Be Nice or Leave” sign. But Sandy’s impact goes way beyond the bar.

Born on the Santa Monica boardwalk and hustling by age six, Sandy has built a life rooted in grit, generosity, and radical accountability. During the pandemic, while many bars shut down, Sandy stepped up, launching to-go cocktails, building outdoor event spaces, and helping her staff and community survive one of the hardest chapters in recent history.

She’s also a driving force behind West End Arts and the Healing Garden project, a sober bar owner who’s navigated addiction with honesty and humor, and one of the most gracious leaders I know, equal parts “do better” and “get the fuck out if you can’t be kind.”

We talk about her path from foster care to fierce community builder, why doing the right thing matters (even when no one’s watching), and what it means to keep growing when the world tells you to quit. Sandy’s story is a reminder that healing, hard work, and hilarity can—and should—coexist.

So pour yourself a mocktail (or cocktail), and get ready for a real one. Let’s dive in.

Episode Transcript

Siobhan (00:08):
Sandy, Hey y'all, welcome to this week's episode
of Ducking reality in the pondwith me today is my my friend
and mentor and former boss.
Sandy Russell, hello, and youprobably have heard, if you've
been a listener, you've heardabout Sandy countless times
already, and she is a sponsor ofthe squirrel girls podcast. So

(00:29):
if you haven't checked that out,go check that out. And by
sponsor, I mean she just lets ususe her name and the bars name,
because that's where Anna and Imet. That's where I've grown
some confidence to be able to dothis. I just kind of catch
everyone up, because I moved tothe islands, actually five years
ago this month. Wow, yeah, and awild ride. It's been but I used

(00:51):
to live around the corner fromfireside, and it was during the
pandemic, so every time I wouldwalk by, it was closed, but I
would think I'm gonna, like,I'll probably work there one day
when it's open, like, I'd neverseen inside of it. And then one
day when I was walking by, thepatio was there. And Greg,
musician, Greg, that's his lastname, Greg feeler. Greg feeler

(01:12):
was outside, and I was walkingby, he's like, Yo, what's up
with you? How are you doingtoday? And I was just like, I'm
good. And then, like, a coupleof times when I walked by,
people were there. So I finallygot to go in a little bit during
the pandemic, and then get it togo cocktail. And then we met
like three or four times inbetween other

Sandy Russel (01:30):
people and more, yeah, it's the one I remember
most,

Siobhan (01:34):
yeah, yeah. And so then you gave me a job part time so I
could meet people and not haveto just be alone on the islands.

Sandy Russel (01:43):
I mean, I didn't give you a job because of that.
I gave you a job because you'reawesome, great personality and
great bartending experience andand all of that. But I'm glad
you met people and got to knowthe island a little bit. Yeah,

Siobhan (01:57):
and it was amazing to get to meet you too, because
then I found out of all thethings that you do, because you
were then still part of WABA,you were part of the West End
art community. You were doingthings I'd never seen bar owner
do before. Like, most bars wereshutting down and, like, just
firing their staff. And you werecoming up with to go cocktails.

(02:17):
You put together a part like theoutdoor, well, the park was
after, right,

Sandy Russel (02:23):
the the the healing garden that was created
in the parking lot with a venuethat came during COVID, yes,

Siobhan (02:31):
but even before, like pre, like, during, well, at the
start of COVID, you were doingall of these things to help keep
your staff and Keep them makingmoney.

Sandy Russel (02:41):
Yeah, yeah, it was a really scary time. And, you
know, I think my actions weretwofold. One, I was scared to
death if I was gonna loseeverything. And, you know,
didn't know what sort ofeconomic relief was on the other
end, or anything. And, yeah,strong commitment to my team and

(03:04):
and I, I'm not the sort ofperson that can just sit around
and go, Oh, woe is me. What do Ido next? So we just kept going,
and had to do whatever crazyidea I came up with next. Some
of it works, some of it didn't,but it certainly kept us busy
and engaged and engaged with thecommunity. And, you know, ever

(03:29):
so grateful for all the supportthat the community did show us.

Siobhan (03:34):
So let's we'll get back to the fireside stuff, but tell
us a little bit about you, like,where did you come from? How did
you get to be such a badass.

Sandy Russel (03:43):
Well, let's see. I was born in Southern California
and lived there until I was 31all over Southern California,
but I grew up in Los AngelesCounty, but near Santa Monica
beach area, and a good portionof that on the kind of right on

(04:07):
the Santa Monica boardwalk,there's apartments there above
the businesses and stuff. And Ilived there, and actually had my
first job on the Santa MonicaBoardwalk. I worked in the dime
pitch restocking glassware andashtrays and, you know,
collecting all the dimes andgiving them back to the carnies.

(04:30):
And I'd go get their lunch andand stuff, they'd pay me like
five bucks a day. I was six.

Unknown (04:36):
That had to be a wild place to grow up. It was fun. It

Sandy Russel (04:39):
was fun, you know, got to do things like, you know,
the big slide that has to bewaxed every day. You know, a
bunch of the neighborhood kids,we got to go up there early in
the morning and wax the slidefor them. And, you know, climb
the stairs, write it down. Climbthe stairs, write it down, like,
over and over and over again.
But you know, got to do it forfree. Same with like. And, you
know, knowing the people thathad the merry go merry go round

(05:02):
on the Santa Monica Pier thatthat ran that, you know, they'd
let us go in there with whenthey weren't open, and on our
roller skates and hang on to thehorse's tail and go around and
around and around. Oh my god,which was super fun. And then
got to play all the games in thearcades and and the carnival
games. So yeah, ride the bumpercars. Yeah, that part was really

(05:22):
cool, yeah,

Siobhan (05:25):
and you must have just like that just exposes you to so
many different types of peopleand things and jobs and ways of
thinking.

Sandy Russel (05:35):
Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure, My early childhood was
of very modest means. And youknow, that was in the 70s. So,
you know, kids just kind of ranamok and did what they did. I

(05:56):
was a talking about going kidand you know, would meet people
and love to help, and I stilldo. And, you know, offer to help
would turn into, you know,making five bucks a day on the
weekends, or, you know, gettingto do fun stuff, you know, and

(06:17):
then later down the road thatturned into paper routes and and
things like that. So those weremy

Unknown (06:23):
your hustle has always been strong, yeah? Strong.
Hustle early, yeah, I thought

Siobhan (06:29):
I was bad working at 14. You were working at six.

Sandy Russel (06:32):
Well, I mean, if you call it work, well, yeah, I
mean, you were getting paid. Soyeah, that's work. Yeah, I was
getting paid. I was getting paidfive bucks was a lot to a kid.
Yeah, yeah.

Siobhan (06:44):
So did you go to you lived in Southern California
till you were 31 did you go tocollege in San

Sandy Russel (06:49):
in, uh, I attempted to go to college. I

Siobhan (06:52):
don't know if we've ever talked about whether or not
you went to college. I attempted

Sandy Russel (06:55):
to go to college a few times. Yeah, local junior
colleges and whatnot. Um, but Imoved out of my parents home
when I was 17, and you know, it,it's hard to work and pay for
life when you don't have a tonof skills. You know, let alone,

(07:22):
and a college education and, youknow, could have done things
differently, but I didn't, yeah,I mean, I also have the
attention span of a gnat, soschool is a little slow for me,
yeah, but, yeah, I am def. Iwould say I am adequately smart,

(07:51):
but I am not an academic, but Ican hold my own.

Siobhan (07:56):
Yeah, no, I mean to watch you, because now I've seen
you like I've worked with you onjust worked for you and worked
with you on all differentaspects. And to watch you, like,
run numbers. I'm like, I don'tunderstand how you can do that.
You're like, Oh no, this andthat and this divides by that.
And like, you're doing fast mathin your head, like most people
can't. You do it faster thanmost people can use it with a

(08:16):
calculator, like, so yourintelligence is not anything I
would have ever questioned.
Yeah, attention span, yes,intelligence,

Sandy Russel (08:24):
no, yeah, I don't know. Numbers make sense to me.
Sometimes, you know, sometimes Ican look at something and it's
looks like a foreign language.
But, yeah, I don't know. Youknow, whatever, maybe whatever,
my touch of the tism is, there'sdefinitely an ability to

(08:49):
recognize patterns in numbers.
Yeah,

Siobhan (08:57):
so when you weren't, so when you weren't attempting to
go to college. What were youdoing? What got you ready to do?
Everything that you've beendoing now?

Sandy Russel (09:06):
Wow. So as a teenager, young teenager, I had
paper routes, you know, had one,and then I found out I could
have three. So, you know, itwas, might as well do three,
delivering three differentpapers at one point, and then,
you know, went to work fordifferent retail companies. And

(09:29):
when I was 17, I was working fora retail company, and was then
offered my first managementposition the day I turned 18.
Wow, officially, I was doingthis stuff before then, but, and
that's kind of where it started,I started managing people and
managing numbers, and had aknack for it, and then ended up

(09:56):
in the bar industry. So havinggone retail to food service,
quick service, what have you,and then had a really great
opportunity where I learned alot and found an industry that I
loved.

Siobhan (10:13):
Yeah, what kind of I mean, you worked at nightclubs
in LA for a long time, right?
Yeah, huge warehouse sizenightclubs

Sandy Russel (10:21):
I worked for an incredible nightclub owner named
Sandy Sachs, who still ownsclubs. She owns a big club,
Bourbon pub and parade in NewOrleans. I learned a lot
watching her and learning fromher, and just really enjoyed the

(10:45):
industry. And even, even when Ileft that job and moved up to
northern California, something Iwanted to do, but I was, you
know, when I got here, I was inthe quick serve and food
industry again for a number ofyears, until the fireside

(11:08):
opportunity came up.

Siobhan (11:10):
And then you bought fireside with two of your
partners from the Quick foodservice industry place, right?

Sandy Russel (11:15):
Yeah. So two of my really good friends, Bitsy, Eddy
and Keely Rogers free, we allworked for Starbucks at one
point together. And Keely and Iat one point would go and kind
of sit in other businesses andtalk about, what would we do

(11:36):
differently, and how would wechange it, and how could we make
it better, kind of as a learningactivity for us with the desire
to do something. We didn't knowwhat, but we wanted to do
something. And the firesideopportunity came up. A friend of
mine, James had called and said,Hey, fireside for sale. You

(11:59):
should buy it, and I'm me, andwhat army, right? And I just it
didn't, didn't get it didn'tseem possible. And, God,
probably four or six monthslater, he called again, said,
fireside is still for sale. Andat that point, Bitsy was leaving

(12:20):
Starbucks, and it just kind oflined up her husband at the
time, Christopher helped us getinto that. And the three of us
all really strong operators inour previous work life, right?

(12:41):
But you know all the things youdidn't know that you didn't know
until you know them. So therewas a whole bunch of stuff that
you don't realize, thatcorporations take care of that
back end, right, that you don'tyou know, and you just go
through the operations they'veset up for you. So there's, you
know, a huge learning curvethere. Yeah, and then at one

(13:08):
point, keeley's day job gotreally big. Keely and I still
had our day jobs when we firstopened Bitsy, kind of ran day to
day operations.

Siobhan (13:19):
Well, that's smart that way, like your interests are
slightly still diversified, andyou have opposite, like, other
incomes coming in while you'regetting your business off the
ground. And, yeah,

Sandy Russel (13:29):
and that was necessary, because it was, you
know, the the fireside had beenclosed for the better part of
two years. Oh, wow, yeah, peoplethat owned it before us had some
personal stuff going on, and sothey were not open consistently,
and there were some otherissues. But, you know, we knew
Alameda would be a great spot.
Certainly thought the trajectorywould be steeper with the

(13:53):
development happening out onthis part of the island where
you live, it took a littlelonger just to happen, but it's
happening, which is great. So wehad to get super creative. But
Keely Keeley left, I forget whatyear that was, maybe 2015 and

(14:14):
then

Siobhan (14:19):
after you bought the bar, you

Sandy Russel (14:22):
mean 11, right?
And then Keely had a couplekids, her day job got very big
and complicated and demanding.
And around 2018 Betsy and I wereat dinner, and she said, I don't
think I want to do this anymore.
And you know, I said, Well,let's figure out what you do

(14:43):
want to do, because this is whatI want to do, right? So let's
figure out what you want to doand what it's going to take for
you to get there. And now she'straveling all over the world,
working with Doctors WithoutBorders, doing logistics stuff.
And I. Are fighting the goodfight. And

Siobhan (15:04):
I know next time she's in town, I want to talk to her
too, because when I found outwhat she did, I was like, wow.
Like, how do you even get intothat? Like, going from being a
bar owner operator to nowrunning logistics for Doctors
Without Borders. Like, how didyou transition that? Like, how
did you

Sandy Russel (15:19):
it's all really good story. Yeah, you
definitely, definitely need totalk to Bitsy. Yeah. Keely, too.
Keely, he's,

Siobhan (15:27):
I don't know what Kelly's day job is.

Sandy Russel (15:31):
Keely is a really high level analyst, I think at
this point, yeah, she worked inthe banking industry for a long
time. Now she's in tech. Stuff.
Is

Siobhan (15:42):
gonna say, I knew she did some kind of tech business,
but I wasn't sure what it was.
Yeah,

Sandy Russel (15:47):
high level analysts and project management
kind of things.

Siobhan (15:50):
So like, yeah, the three sirens that started
fireside are three badasses. Sothen in 2018 Keeley left and but
so when they Bitsy left. Bitsyleft. I'm sorry, when were they
there? When you started like,so, just to for people that
don't know Alameda, like, whatwas the island like in 2011 was
it still kind of deserted on theside of Webster because of the

(16:14):
when the Navy pulled out, fromwhat I understand, like so much,
shut down.

Sandy Russel (16:17):
It was desolate.
It definitely was not what it istoday. Definitely, businesses
were starting to move in. Ithink kind of the catalyst was
West cafe, Monica and Miguel. Ithink they were kind of the
catalyst to what happened. Andthen big

Siobhan (16:37):
shout out to them. Big shout out, thank you for always
feeding me and having goodcoffee. Yeah, absolutely,

Sandy Russel (16:44):
absolutely, just talk to them too. Yeah. I think
that was the catalyst with, withthe kind of revamp of Webster we
came in maybe two years later,and 1400 opened a couple months
right after us. And then itjust, you know, it kept going.

Siobhan (17:04):
So, but did you create West End Business Association,
or were you just help to elevate

Sandy Russel (17:11):
it? WABA has been around for years. Oh, okay,
when, excuse me, when I joinedWABA. It was because there was
some scuttlebutt, and I don'teven remember what, but a friend
of mine said to me, if you don'tlike what's happening, then get

(17:34):
involved. And I was like, Oh,yeah. I mean, I can sit here and
complain, or I can do somethingabout it. So I got involved with
WABA, and then, year after Istarted, I took over as
president of the organization.
Sandeep had been the presidentfor 15 years, wow. And was just

(17:57):
time to move on. It was adifferent organization then, and
seemed like a good idea and anopportunity. I was excited to
make a difference and and, youknow, help grow the businesses
in the neighborhood. I didn'treally know anything about it or

(18:20):
how that was going to happen,but I really wanted to learn.
And you know, I think I wasready to be moving on to
something else when COVIDhappened, and that would have
been the wrong time to leavethat organization, right?

Siobhan (18:40):
Yeah, you helped keep that whole street kind of alive
during

Sandy Russel (18:43):
that well, there was a, definitely a group of us
that put together, we turned theparking lot next to colafia,
initially healing garden thatduring the George Floyd riots
that were going on, I got aphone call that said, Hey, we

(19:08):
recommend that you board up yourbusiness, because there's stuff
happening just the other side ofthe tube, and we don't know what
that's going to look like. Andthat was kind of a call on the
down low, I think then said,Okay, so let's do that. My
friends that own featheredoutlaw, my friends that owned

(19:33):
Alameda tattoo, I was like, Hey,we're going to get plywood to
board up. Do you want us toboard up your businesses too? To
Noah,

Siobhan (19:42):
who's your audio and agency and events? Yeah, to
Noah, we might talk to him inNovember, once his busy season's
over. Yes,

Sandy Russel (19:50):
to know who's all things amazing to know was
available. Was like, Yeah, youknow, I'll board these things
up. So we went, got plywood anddid that. And then, you know.
When that civil unrest was notover, because it's never going
to be over, but the when theriots had died down, well even

(20:12):
before that, we're like, thislooks terrible plywood, like,
let's, can we get some art, artdone on this? Just just kind of
take some of the sting away. Youknow, businesses were boarded up
and dark, and it was just,right.

Siobhan (20:29):
So we're already dealing with this terrible thing
that's happened in ourcommunities, right? We've
already been closed down becauseof COVID, right? And then it
just, and then, I mean, they're,they're marching in the riots.
Now, you know, there's differentconspiracy theories on some of
that, but like, the fact thatthis had happened was already,
like terrible enough, and now wehave to look at our businesses
like shuttering right, andpeople being scared of coming

(20:52):
out and right? You know, beingscared of whether or not your
business would be there in themorning was a terrible feeling.

Sandy Russel (20:59):
It is. It was even more terrible, though, to sit
inside the business that hadbeen boarded up and it's pitch
black, yeah, because you've got,you know, sunlight coming in
from the windows or anything,which was that that had a
profound effect on me, and thatwas kind of the impetus to,
we've got to get some art doneon these, on these, on this

(21:20):
plywood, right? A number ofartists from around the
community. Did you know minimurals? Once the plywood came
down, we were like, this is nowa piece of Alameda history. We
gotta do something with this. Soin the parking lot next to
colafia, we created a healinggarden. Or, you know, that's

(21:42):
what we envisioned as an outdoorcommunity space that told a
story and would hopefully allowpeople some some way to heal
that later turned into the wholeTaylor Webster lot becoming an
outdoor venue, yes, with a stageand picnic tables and and

(22:06):
whatnot, so that communityevents and outdoor concerts and
things like that could be donebecause we couldn't do anything
inside, right, right? So, like,the first year with that, we did
local events and to Noah and Itried to put together a few

(22:27):
concerts. The organ, the WABAwas hugely involved, as to know,
and I were both on the board,Marie Ortega, you know, a bunch
of folks trying to put thesethings together, to bring
community out together in a waythat was safe, right? Which we
were able to do

Siobhan (22:48):
with the help of Linda Ashbury too. We want to give her
a shout out. Since she's alreadybeen on the pod, people have
already met her with, yeah,Linda, like with Linda,

Sandy Russel (22:55):
my favorite partner in crime, yes, when I
was president, Linda was theexecutive director,

Siobhan (23:00):
right? Years we were so you two worked hand in hand with

Sandy Russel (23:03):
all of that, yeah, yeah. And I love Linda. She's
like, my my bonus mom, yes.
So, yeah, putting all thattogether, you know, not just the
concerts, but craft markets andyou know, organizations were

(23:24):
able to gather in a safe wayoutside to do fundraisers and
things like that. The secondyear, in terms of the concerts,
I reached out to my friends atthe ivy room. Hey summer and
Lonnie, they have a much broadermusical reach than the fireside
does. We're really small room.
They're much bigger than we are,and they've got really great

(23:45):
connections in the local musicindustry and beyond. And we took
that on together. So we wereable to do outdoor concerts. We
did 26 events, 21 concerts thatyear. That's amazing. Yeah. And
they brought some solid Bay areaand beyond talent the fireside,
kind of operationally put theoutdoor bars together, and we

(24:12):
were able to serve ourcommunity, and they were able to
gather in a safe way untileverything started to open
again. So we were a little bitearly. I mean, I think in the in
the outdoor ideas that thatspurred out of COVID, but you
know, that series was calledtiny towns because we're both

(24:33):
two smaller cities. I know ourmayor would correct me and say,
We're not a small town, but, youknow, as compared to San
Francisco or Oakland or LosAngeles, that kind of thing,
right? The Ivy room is inAlbany, which is a few cities
away, north of us, and we're inAlameda, and they're both kind

(24:54):
of medium sized

Siobhan (24:56):
cities, right, but they both have a small town feel,
though,

Sandy Russel (24:59):
totally. A totally small town feel. And yeah. So
that happened, and then theworld opened up again, and we
were both able to start doingmusic and stuff inside again.

Siobhan (25:12):
Yeah, and you guys do live music, usually two nights a
week, but up to three, right upto

Sandy Russel (25:17):
three, sometimes four. So we have an open mic
night every Wednesday. We do ajazz jam on the last Monday of
the month with Larry noble niceand other Mondays, we have guest
DJs. Are

Siobhan (25:35):
you still doing comedy on Monday the first Mondays of
the month?

Sandy Russel (25:38):
We were doing comedy until the comedy club
close right before they close.

Siobhan (25:44):
I could put you probably into contact with Dan
Levy. He's one that he doescomedy for the Bunya for us once
a month. You do the last Fridayof the month. I'd love that. I'd
love to have it back on thefirst Monday of the month or
something, because now that wedon't have a comedy club like I
never get to go see comedyanymore.

Sandy Russel (26:01):
I would love to talk to him. All right, yeah,
and then, so most Thursdays, wehave some live music, and then
either Friday or Saturday,either a band or a DJ, sometimes
two bands

Siobhan (26:18):
Friday. And we can't forget Kirkland on Tuesday with
his trivia. Tuesday trivia withKirkland is handsomest man on
island, or most dapper at least.

Sandy Russel (26:27):
He definitely is the most dapper. Yes, on the
island, and people

Siobhan (26:33):
here have met Kirkland too. Yeah, Kirkland was on the
podcast when we use one of myfirst guests. Okay, we keep
talking about having him comeback, but we haven't coordinated

Sandy Russel (26:41):
that yet. Oh yeah, Kirkland's the best. I love him.

Siobhan (26:47):
But so in addition to all the stuff you're doing at
fireside, keeping it afloat andkeeping your employees paid
during the pandemic, which Istill am always in awe of, like
you were doing things like theto go, to go cocktails. You were
doing cocktail kits. You wereselling merch. You were setting
up events outside. You were onSaturday mornings. You were

(27:10):
doing, like, makers events sothat there was vendors. You were
supporting all the local artistsand vendors. Here you have WABA
going, you're like, sitting out,you're and then where does West
End art, like, fall into all of

Sandy Russel (27:22):
this. Okay? So, yeah, all of the WABA stuffing.
Like, I want to be really clearthis, it's a huge group effort,

Siobhan (27:29):
but you were still the president of it.

Sandy Russel (27:32):
I guess I was.
Yeah, I'm not now, right? ButWest End arts, how did that
happen? I don't even rememberwhat year 2013 1415, I don't
remember. Heroku Cooper and Istarted doing an event, blues,
bruise and barbecue after thefirst or second year. Put

(27:53):
together a nonprofit around thatto help facilitate the growth of
that event and somehow givingback to the community to support
arts. We really had only used itfor the

Siobhan (28:21):
blues brews, the blues

Sandy Russel (28:22):
Bruce and barbecue, because both business
owners and doing differentthings.

Siobhan (28:27):
What? What is Heroku hirokum

Sandy Russel (28:30):
Hiroko Cooper.
Mike Cooper was the originalpartner at 1400 Oh, okay with
the current owner and in hero ishis lovely wife, okay? Hero went
on to do some other things.

(28:54):
Rachel campos dyvanov, gotinvolved with West End arts with
me Marie Ortega, who again, WABAto Noah, who was also WABA in
all things, sound, lighting,everything. So that kind of
grew. And then Rachel introducedus to a woman named Tara

(29:16):
pilbrow, who you know, and Tarastarted out as a volunteer and
started really making moves withRachel in the arts community,
with West End arts as a vehicle,and, you know, they took it and
ran with it, and theorganization, At a point, was

(29:40):
able to start paying Tara, whichis fantastic and well deserved,
and Rachel and Tara have kind ofrun with it, and have done so
much more than I could have everdreamed that organization would
be. And it's, it's super fun towatch what. Doing what to do

(30:00):
next

Siobhan (30:01):
It is, yeah, I'm so excited for the in plain sight
show in May. That's gonna beamazing. Bum. I won't be here
for all of it, but I'm glad I'llbe here for some

Sandy Russel (30:10):
of it. Good, good.
I'll be in Europe.

Siobhan (30:16):
But so like, you helped start all of that, and then you
kind of find the right people torun it and take it over. Like
Has that always been a gift thatyou've had is spotting talent.

Sandy Russel (30:26):
I I have been told by my mentors that my kind of
leadership superpower is puttingthe right people together to
accomplish the goal, right? Youknow, I'm not the smartest one

(30:47):
in the room. I'm not, you know,I don't have the strongest skill
set in the room, all of thosethings, but I guess you could
say I have the ability torecognize it in others and
nothing thrills me more thanthan people doing awesome
things. You know, watchingeverybody succeed, or watching

(31:11):
their ideas grow, or watchingtheir businesses grow. You know
this about me, I very much comefrom a mentality of, if everyone
wins, then everyone wins, andthat, of course, that includes
me, but it isn't, it isn't justabout me, right? I don't want to
win at the expense of anyoneelse.

Siobhan (31:32):
But where does that come from? Like, where does that
kind of selflessness come from?
Or that, like, drive for thecommunity as a whole, versus,
because, especially right now inthe world, like, everyone is so
individualistic and like, Thisis who I am, and this is my
label, and this is my group, andthis is what I'm going to do for
my group. And fuck your groupwhere you're just like, time
out, time out. You know that ifwe could all just be happy, we
could all win like, and it wouldbe enough for everyone like,

(31:53):
that's it's a different mindsetthat not a lot of people have.
Never mind people that have beenin in no shade to them, because
it's been where I've lived.
Yeah, is, like, in therestaurant bar industry, like,
we can get real caddy and reallike, Fuck the people on the
other side of the bar, you know,and you have still maintained,
like, this graciousness and thiswant to create more community.

Sandy Russel (32:18):
I don't, I don't know. I think that's a two fold
answer. I think the desire to bein community we know, kind of
probably was born out of myearly childhood, which was
really complicated. I was infoster care until I was or Well,

(32:42):
I went into foster care at six,and then was adopted when I was
12. So did a lot of differentaccess to a lot of different
types of people in a lot ofdifferent situations, and had to
adapt. But, you know, I don'tknow. I think even in my own

(33:04):
little kid way, being ingratitude that people were
there, you know, to make, youknow, make sure I didn't die.
You know, it helped me learn andgrow and those kinds of things.
And then I was very fortunate tobe adopted by a family the
Russells, and to grow and learnand be taken care of in a

(33:30):
different way. And then I thinkin where I really got the idea
of or how much I enjoyed workingin the community to make a
difference. Was working withStarbucks as a training store

(33:50):
manager and a mentor and acoach. They kind of give you
additional responsibilities thatwork with your skill set and
your interests. So I got to do alot of community events for our
district group, whether that wasHabitat for Humanity or working

(34:15):
at the garden with AlamedaCommunity Collaborative, or
Alameda point collaborative,Doug Biggs and some and some of
the other events that they didthere, and just realizing like
It felt good to give back to thecommunity And that people

(34:37):
appreciated it and it, I kindof, that's where I adopted the
the feeling like I, if I can, Ishould, people did that for me,
and it feel, it feels good, youknow. And you definitely have to

(34:58):
find a balance with it. Uh, withall things, but, yeah, I'm
learning to do that.

Siobhan (35:07):
Yeah? No. I mean, you're not only learning, but
you're setting a good examplefor us, like

Sandy Russel (35:11):
for all of us.
Yeah, sometimes, I mean, you'veseen me when I used to drink,
not a good example.

Siobhan (35:18):
Yeah, even then, even, yeah, great point. Like, while
you were doing all of this, youare also struggling with
alcohol, or, I don't know if,like, struggling doesn't feel
like the right word to describewhat you like, because you would
get, you know, like you are areally high functioning
alcoholic, like you're you werefunctioning at a level. Most

(35:38):
people don't function withoutbeing an alcoholic until I
wasn't, you know, right? Buteven still, like, I guess, as,
like, an outsider, and I knowthat I don't know how you feel
like, but like, as an as anobserver and a person that was
kind of in it with yousometimes, like, your bottom was
high, you know what I mean?
Like, I guess that's where Ilook at it, from growing up with
addiction and seeing where mostpeople's bottoms are, oh, it

(36:00):
could have been so much worse,yeah? Like you didn't lose all
your stuff, you still kept allyour shit pretty much together,
you know what I mean? And likeyou were, even when you were
kind of in the throes of it, attimes, you were like, I know I'm
gonna get my shit together. Iknow, I know. But right now I
have to go to bed like youdidn't mean, like you were never
a nasty, real drunk, like itwasn't that, yeah.

Sandy Russel (36:20):
Well, I mean, there were a handful of people
that cared enough to stay on myass, and you were one of them.
Yeah, I love you. Not gonna loveyou too. I love Thank God, you
know, I don't know. Yeah, like,like, the reality is, my stop
button is broken, right, right?
I'm an alcoholic. I'm like, whywould anybody just have two

(36:42):
drinks? Like, what's the point?
And, you know, God the universe,whatever twisted sense of humor
to own a bar and then now besober, and there are a number of
us out there sober bar owners,is definitely an occupational

(37:03):
hazard if you don't have a stopbutton. I think that my
addiction to alcohol almost costme everything, and I feel like
I've figured that piece out. Youknow, I don't. I'm so much

(37:24):
better sober, so much happier.
Some people can do it. I cannot.

Siobhan (37:31):
But you also like were what my uncle and I talk about,
white knuckling it is that youweren't a meetings person.

Sandy Russel (37:39):
Well, truth be told I did go to into the
program when I had quit drinkinganother time. And some things
about it, if I'm very valuable,some other things about it
freaked me out. And it's not theGod stuff, you know, it was just

(37:59):
some of the some of the peopleinteractions that I had were
not, not how I want to do mysobriety, and I learned a lot
from that program. I carry a lotof that with me, but there's

(38:22):
some stuff that just didn't workfor me, you know? I mean, it's,
I think it that that program,and all programs, have merit to
them, and they'll work for whothey work for. And like, I don't
really have anything bad to say,other than there were some
things for for me that weretraumatic in that space and I

(38:50):
needed to not do that,

Siobhan (38:51):
right? Well, it's a good I mean, it's a good
reminder to people thatsometimes, like, just because it
works for some people doesn'tmean it's gonna work for you.
Like, you have to find whatworks for you and

Sandy Russel (39:00):
keep that totally, totally, like some people can,
you know, work with, you know,just cutting back, or harm
control, or whatever it'scalled. Some people can cut
back. Some people can, you know,just going to drink beer and
wine, because that's not myvice, you know, just keep me

(39:22):
away from the whiskey, whateverI've tried all of it, right?

Siobhan (39:26):
But also, just like that, that eight doesn't work
for everyone, yeah? Like, itdoesn't work for everyone, yeah?
Like, not getting caught inthat. Like, well, I have to do
it this way, right?

Sandy Russel (39:34):
But I'll tell you that having started with it was
super helpful for me. Yeah, theyhave a thing, 90 meetings in 90
days, is the suggestion. And Ithink that definitely helped.
And even though I got sober,stopped being sober, got sober,
stop being sober, sober. Now Ifeel like I. Uh, that 9090,

(40:01):
meetings in 90 days showed me Icould do it, and that was
probably the most importantthing, and that it wasn't just
me that couldn't handle it,right, right? So,

Siobhan (40:13):
yeah, it makes you, does make you feel less alone.
And if I'm honest, like, whenI've gone to meetings before and
I've been like, all right, Idon't have it that bad. Like, my
shit is not like, my excuses forwhatever I'm doing is, like, now
then I don't really have anexcuse. That person has an
excuse. Like, it's almost like agut check, and not, like,
because you should becomparison, but just it gives
you a whole differentperspective, where you're like,

(40:34):
Oh yeah, I'm whining about this,and that guy's like, our
person's been unhoused and thisand that. And you're just like,
All right, so my shits not thatbad, like,

Sandy Russel (40:42):
you know what?
Though it's all relative. Ithink, I think it's what you
what you've experienced and whatyou lived through, right? Like
we talked about, you know,physical pain. We both know that
well. And some people think theyknow, yeah, I always want to put
living with that, yeah, you wantto punch someone that they think

(41:05):
they know what living with thatis, is actually like and and
they don't. Or they, you know,the worst had it really tough in
growing up. Or I, you know, Idon't know, bad relationship.
Someone told me I didn't get alollipop when you know someone
else was getting the shit beatout. Right? Who knows? It's all,

(41:26):
it's all relative to yourexperience. And I think all of
my experience, childhood to now,some of it's been tough, but I
think I'm so grateful, yeah, sograteful to have experienced all
of it, lived through it, grownfrom it, and, you know, and

(41:49):
becoming a person that I'd wantto hang out with, right, Right,
like I could have let all thatstuff destroy me, or I could
have learned from it and grownfrom it. And I think that takes
just not everybody's gonna getpersonal accountability right,

(42:12):
but I think recognizing what mypart in situations that didn't
go the way that I wanted them togo, recognizing my part in that
problem and recognizing that Icould not do those things and
they would go away rather thanbeing victim to everything.

(42:34):
Taking ownership of myresponsibility and things made
my life so much easier. Did you

Siobhan (42:43):
learn that? Where did you learn that from? Though,
because

Sandy Russel (42:47):
interesting. I I was working at Starbucks. I had
a district manager named marcaClark, and I was training, and
someone, another manager, haddone something or didn't do
something they were supposed todo and didn't take

(43:08):
responsibility for it. And hercomment to me is, you know,
things would be so easy if theywould just accept responsibility
and fix it. And it wasn't evenmy lesson to learn in that
moment, but I recognized myselfin the not taking responsibility
for what I didn't do. And I waslike, Oh yeah, you could have

(43:29):
done that. I'm like, oh my god,it's that easy. Yeah, it's that
easy,

Siobhan (43:34):
but maybe it was also so easy for you to learn,
because it wasn't actually yourlesson, or it was your lesson,
but it was your lesson to seelike, outside of yourself,
because if it was about you,maybe you wouldn't have learned
it. Probably, you know what Imean, you're like, Oh, what an
idiot. If you just said, like,oh, yeah, I fucked up here.
Sorry. Let me grab that. Itwould have wiped it. And you

(43:54):
were like, Oh, wait, I've beenmaking excuses this whole time,
too.

Sandy Russel (43:58):
Right? Right? For everything, yeah, everything.
And, you know, being able toapply that and and grow that in
myself, and realizing how muchstuff I didn't take
responsibility for, right? Sothat, that that's a life, a life
lesson in progress and, and, youknow, I look forward to getting

(44:23):
to learn more parts of thingsthat, you know, I don't have to
keep screwing up. I can, I canfix those things, do better and
keep going right and learn more.
I think it's life gets easierand not easy. Let's be clear
like it's never gonna be it'snever gonna be easy. It just but
that piece of it gets easier,you know. And the I think the

(44:47):
personal growth is, is isexponential, as you really. Own
those lessons. Yeah,

Siobhan (45:04):
yeah. Do you ever think that you take too much personal
accountability, though, like youthink you over correct it?
Sometimes,

Sandy Russel (45:10):
sure I do, and you are not my first friend or loved
one who has pointed that out?
Yeah, I definitely takeresponsibility. I think that I
could always have done somethingdifferent. You know, someone can
really do me dirty, and I'mstill looking for what I could
have done differently to havethat not happen, right? And, you

(45:32):
know, 2024 was some huge lessonsaround
you know some sometimes caringtoo much allows you to be taken
advantage of. And you know, Ihave always said to Melissa, my

(45:58):
person, I felt like if you threwenough love or money at it, you
could fix anything. I learned in2024 that that is absolutely not
true. Yeah, right. But I've alsofound that I can, I can also
love at a distance and wishpeople well and hope that life

(46:22):
gives them the lessons that theyneed to learn to be better and
not hurt, right, right? Becausepeople who are people who are
taking advantage of other peopleare hurting, hurting in some
other way. You know what I mean?
Well, they don't need to do it.
Yeah,

Siobhan (46:38):
hurt people. Do it.
Hurt people. Hurt people, andthen some people, and I don't
understand the thought process,but some people are like, well,
if I'm miserable, I'm gonna makeyou miserable too.

Sandy Russel (46:48):
Yeah, yeah. I don't know if they feed on that

Siobhan (46:59):
terrible energy. That

Sandy Russel (47:00):
terrible energy, right? Like we've talked about.
You know, Misery loves company,but so does joy, yeah, you know,
you put an aquarium together,and you put the little rocks in,
and the sea monkeys and stuff,and you do it right? And it
grows. You take care of a plant,and it grows. You give something

(47:22):
what it needs, and it grows andit flourishes. You know, if you
if you kept that plant in a darkroom and yelled at it all the
time, you know, it's it, youknow, why aren't you growing?
Fuck you. You know what I'msaying. Yeah, it's it. I don't
knowwhere I'm headed with that, but
I think we all have theopportunity to be better. Do

(47:48):
better, learn. Just do better.
People

Siobhan (47:54):
do better. Yeah, like, I love the fireside motto is, be
nice or leave.

Sandy Russel (47:57):
Be nice or leave.
Yes, Bitsy brought that in.
There is a guy in New Orleansnamed Dr Bob who paints these
signs, and they're all over benice or leave, right? Yeah. And
we have it up above the bar. Aguy that Bitsy was dating at one
point made that for her. Thatwas kind of His love language,

(48:18):
just like his dozen roses,right? And we've kept that up
there. And when we repainted thebar, I painted it gold so it
would stand out, because it usedto be gray, yeah, be nice or
leave. And that that's kind ofthat includes the fireside team
and the customer, and ourcustomers, right? Like, there's,

(48:40):
I'm not saying there's not aplace for, you know, sarcasm and
a little bit of shit talk andfun, but, you know, be nice or
leave. Yeah, yeah. And I'm kindof at that point in my life with
people.

Siobhan (49:02):
I It feels good. Yeah, it's helped me get there, too,
because I as a trying to recoverpeople pleaser, like in my life,
I can be very forgiving and verylike, no, no, it's my fault, or
like, I should do better, or andthen sometimes, and especially,
watching people take advantageof you has made me crazy. I
mean, that's probably the onlything that we fight about. Is

(49:23):
when I'm like, No, do not letthem back into this life or your
world, or, you know, and I thinknow, especially after we went
through when a couple times Idid say to you, like, Listen,
your drinking is like, this is aproblem, yeah? And like, that
was a scary place for me,because I'm like, this could go
either way, yeah. Like, at onepoint I still working for you,
and I was just like, I won'twork for you. If this is what
we're gonna do, like, I'll quit.
I'll quit like, and I was like,Do not quit your job, bitch. But

(49:44):
also, I felt so strongly aboutit, and it was to a testament to
who you are. I knew like, hey,if, and I if I really care about
this person, not just gonna keepwatching them crash and burn.
I'm gonna keep coming around totry to say things in a way that
was like, not try. To make youfeel bad about it, but knowing
like you're not living the lifeyou want to be living. It's not
about what I want for you. It'sabout what I know you want

Sandy Russel (50:08):
because you love me. Yeah, and, you know, you
talk you talk about you seeingpeople's potential. You know, I
said that maybe a leadershipskill, the one leadership skill
I might have that also, youknow, I see people's potential
so much that, no, you know, youcan do this, that I'll take on a

(50:33):
lost puppy that has no abilityto have any personal
accountability or want tochange. They're just like, you
know, how can I get over right?
And I see the potential. That'sthe lesson in 2024. Was like,
you have so much potential, butyou're just, you're not going to
use it, right, right? You'regoing to use your powers for

(50:54):
evil instead of for good. So yougo off and do those things. I
Yeah, no more lost puppies likeyou know, if you want to, if you
lack confidence, but you want tobe living up to your own
potential, I'm in. I want tohelp. I want to support, right?

(51:15):
If you don't see your potentialand your that confidence is
misplaced, and it's you know,you do the wrong thing because
you can, yeah, I don't have timefor that anymore.

Siobhan (51:38):
I don't either. I think I still have magnet on my
friendship says, do the rightthing even when no one's looking
right. Like, and you have toquestion, right? And sometimes
people like, did you say this? Ibet, yep. Like, yeah, that was
an asshole thing to say. But Isaid it like, because I'm always
gonna, I mean, I'm not sayingthat I'm perfect and that I
don't still fuck up saying, or,you know, same park where I

(51:59):
shouldn't for 10 minutes,everyone's, well, you know what
I mean? Like, there's stuff thatyou stuff that, you know, none
of us are perfect, but for themost part, like, I never have to
worry about something I've done,because I'm going to do it,
whether you're looking or not,I'm going to, and if you ask me,
I'll tell you, even if it hurtsyour feelings, like, probably
don't ask me,

Sandy Russel (52:17):
right, right? But

Siobhan (52:19):
it's that, it's I want to be giving to the community
that I'm involved in. I want tobe more like people like you
that are trying to figure outways to give back and to be
supporting the community andmaking it a better place, and
sharing and spreading joy, asopposed to like I just the last
five years. When I think abouthow far I've come, it's amazing.

(52:39):
But then to think back, like,where I was 678, years ago and
10 years ago, I'm like, Holyshit, two different people.
Like, I don't even remember whatmy life was like 10 years ago.
Same in a lot of ways. And it'sI wasn't doing anything, I
wasn't giving to the communityin any meaningful way. And it's
probably some of the reasons whythat part of my life is just now

(53:00):
almost forgotten, but alsowasn't anything I was proud of,

Sandy Russel (53:04):
right? I'll tell you. I mean, it's like, it's not
like, you know, you said you'renot perfect. I'm not either
like, I can think back in andways that I have treated people
or spoken to people that werenot kind or generous, and you
know, moments where I've beenout integrity, and you know, had

(53:29):
to face my own harsh realitiesabout those mistakes and things.
And you know, again every day,just trying to do better, trying
to fix those things and takeownership of them, right? And,
you know,

Siobhan (53:46):
okay, so you were just that you when you look back 510,
years ago,

Sandy Russel (53:52):
oh yeah, I, I'm not the same person either. I
Ah, let me find that train ofthought.
I'm not I'm not saying I wasperfect in any way. I just think

(54:16):
now there are less times, fewertimes every day where I'm doing
anything that I'm going toregret later. You know, it's and
when something does come up,whether it's a thought or you

(54:37):
say the wrong thing, or you, youknow, whatever, I think that
that accountability come piececomes up and goes, that wasn't
okay, or that was shitty, then Igo back and correct it, you
know, now I can even, even morequickly now. Long process. Wow.

(55:02):
What? You know, that person justsaid something. Why am I upset
about it? What did they reallymean? What? Okay, let me adjust
how I'm going to respond tothis, right? I don't know. I
feel like I've been able to keepmy gratitude and wonder about

(55:25):
the world, and still learn thelessons and get a little tougher
and a little more discerning.
You know definitely 2025 hasbeen about discernment, and
cultivating the relationships Iwant to have in my life and not

(55:46):
leaving any space for the onesthat I don't.

Siobhan (55:57):
But do you think you got to kind of this? Enlighten
might not be the right word, butI like it so. But do you think
you got into this more, like,self assured, enlightened aspect
just by that one comment? Orhave you been doing like, the
other work of like, therapy andreading self help books and
like, how have you kind ofdeveloped this like radical

(56:18):
like, personal accountabilityand being okay with apologizing
or being wrong,

Sandy Russel (56:24):
sure, years of therapy, off and on, I think
learning to trust people andknowing who you can trust right,
like I can talk to you aboutanything, right? I could tell
you my worst, deep, darksecrets, and we could laugh

(56:47):
about them, and know, here's thelessons we've learned from it,
right? You know what I mean? II totally lost my train of
thought again, what were wetalking about? Squirrel?

Siobhan (57:07):
Oh, sorry, that's a different podcast. Yeah, the
what we were talking about howyou got to be so kind of okay
with being wrong, or, you know,being very accountable, like
your self accountability isgreat, and like you, like, you
just said you can get therefaster to apologize or correct
the situation or realize you'retaking things in a way that's
probably not meant to be, right?
I was just wondering, like, howdid you get to that point?

(57:30):
Because, you know, like, I wantto be there, and I'm not sure I
always am, and I get superinsecure sometimes if I've made
a mistake about like, that's nowconnected to my worth and like
it's still stuff that I strugglewith. I

Sandy Russel (57:45):
am learning, and I'm haven't mastered it. Don't
know if I ever will, butlearning that what other people
think doesn't matter to doesn'tdoesn't make who I am, right,
how I respond to the people thatI care about and care about

(58:09):
their opinions and suggestionsand input and and whatever that
matters, how I respond to thatand how I feel about my own
place and things. People talkshit all the time, about me,

(58:32):
about you, about everything,right? That's all noise now, you
know, and some of it, and thiswas something. I was on the
phone with a doctor the otherday, and I realized that what
they were just explainingsomething to me, and my
listening was, Oh, here they goagain, right? And I caught

(58:56):
myself saying that and going,ooh, how much of my own chatter
do I put into what someone elsesays? Oh, right, yeah. So I
just, I like, I had to, I took astep back for a second and just
listen to her. And it was alovely conversation. I feel like

(59:17):
I found the right doctor andand, you know, I felt heard, I
felt like we have a proactivesolution, or proactive path
forward to better health. AndI'm actually excited to go meet
her in person on Thursday, butthat was a big aha moment for

(59:43):
me. Was recognizing I wasfeeling some kind of way, yeah,
and all she was doing wasexplaining something to me, and
I caught myself in that moment,was like, Ooh, that was totally
me. I just had one

Unknown (59:55):
of those moments too the other day. Yeah, it was, it
was exciting. You. It wasexciting. I just came back

Siobhan (01:00:01):
in and I was like, I think I've just been hurting my
own feelings all day. And myfriend looked at me and they
were like, what? I was like, youknow, I was just sitting here,
kind of like, in my headcompletely. And she's like,
Yeah, because a couple times Iwas like, I just am in my head.
I just need to stop like, andshe's like, what's the matter?
I'm like, I don't know. And Ilike, walked back in and I was
like, I'm just hurting my ownfeelings. I was like, I have
this whole storyline in my headabout this issue that is not

(01:00:23):
true. Like, I don't know any ofthe if that's true, but like, in
my head, I've now convincedmyself that this person hates me
and doesn't want to talk to meand is, like, avoiding me, yes.
And they were like, Why do youthink I was like, I don't know.
Apparently, the little gremlinthat lives in my head is fucking
on it today, right? I'm like,and they just, I was like, I've
been sitting here all afternoonwith hurt feelings about

(01:00:44):
something that didn't even

Sandy Russel (01:00:45):
happen, right? And we all do, we all do that. I
can't say we all do that. No,I've

Siobhan (01:00:49):
heard some people don't I've heard some people do not
have that problem. They just getup in the morning and they're
happy and they're just, there'sno inside voice that tells them
they're a terrible, shittyperson. I don't believe that,
but that's true.

Sandy Russel (01:01:04):
Bless their hearts, right? I like yourself,
right? No, I love, I love thatfor

Siobhan (01:01:08):
them, I do too. I'm astonished. It's like some
people don't have anxiety. Younever get nervous,

Sandy Russel (01:01:15):
right? Right, right? Yeah, I don't understand
that I would aspire to. Yes, butyeah, I am vehemently aware that
much of the torture I have putmyself through, or continue to
put myself through, is selfinduced. Yes, nobody's thinking

(01:01:39):
about how I feel as much as I'mthinking about how I feel about
a situation, because they're allthinking about how they feel
Yes, and what they want and howthey want a situation to look.
You know, when stuff comestogether, you're all on the same
plane and timeline and it works.
And sometimes you're, you know,we're, we're all in our own

(01:02:01):
little reality, and getting outof it sometimes is hard, harder
for some people than others.

Siobhan (01:02:11):
Yeah, that's what part of why I want to keep having
conversations like this, is tolike, talk to people that I that
have inspired me, that I aspireto kind of be like and not I
don't want to be you, but I wantto be my version of you. I want
to be you're way cuter than me.
You're way richer than I am. Soyou know, no,

Sandy Russel (01:02:34):
same, same,

Siobhan (01:02:37):
Yeah, but you're poor because you're starting new
businesses, you're investing inthings, you're growing your
company. I

Sandy Russel (01:02:43):
also make stupid decisions sometimes, and you
know, retail therapy is a thing.

Siobhan (01:02:50):
I'm so glad we can't shop on Amazon anymore.

Sandy Russel (01:02:52):
Trying to get better about all of this,

Siobhan (01:02:55):
it's hard. It's hard to want to do everything right for
our communities and beconvenient for ourselves. It's
hard to, like, give up some ofthe conveniences because it's
going to help in the long runfor me, at least, like, I want
to just Kohl's is right or not,Kohl's target is right there.
But like, if you don't want tobe not an asshole, then I can't

(01:03:19):
go there, you know. Like, right?
You know, like, I don't want togive my money to people that are
doing terrible things in theworld, right? But it's harder
and harder to discern who's thegood people, who's the bad
people, because when you look atit and it goes all up to the
same, like, eight people thatown everything,

Sandy Russel (01:03:35):
right, right? So that comes back to shop, local,
shop, small, right? It's hardbecause it's cert it's certainly
not as convenient. And why thesecompanies have succeeded is
because we've become such aconvenience based society. But I
think assessing what one what dowe really need? Things are more

(01:03:57):
expensive, and for theforeseeable future are going to
get more expensive. I thinklocals, farmers market, support
them, right? Support the farmersmarket. It's not, you know,
you're supporting somethinglocal, but you know you're also
getting a better quality productthat you know hasn't been messed
with is fresher and right? Youknow you're supporting local

(01:04:19):
farmer Yeah. Yeah. I thinklooking at, I don't know, maybe
this is the big universal lessonright now, is looking at what we
need and not as much about whatwe want. We all want a lot of
things, but I think importantwhat we need and who do Who do
you want to be in the world? Ithink

Siobhan (01:04:42):
that's one of the biggest questions, is, who do
you want to be in the world, orwhat do you want to put out in
the world, right? Like, youknow, who do you want to be and
what do you want to leave? Kindof, I don't really believe too
much in, like, it was probably ashitty thing to say, but, like,
a legacy, like, I. I don't thinkyou should live your whole life
to leave one legacy, yeah,because it, it doesn't last. You

(01:05:06):
know, your legacy doesn't lastmore than what do they say?
Like, three generations or maybetwo, right? Like, do you know
your great grandfather's name,right? Don't you know? Like,
there's not that legacy thatpeople sometimes start striving
for is like, well, you couldhave done all that good while
you were alive. Like, you couldhave used some of that energy
to, like, make differences todayin the people's lives. Instead

(01:05:29):
of, I'm gonna do all this formyself, and then I'll leave this
charity a bunch of money whenI'm dead. Like, I think it's
shifting that Right,

Sandy Russel (01:05:38):
right? I think, yeah, I don't know. I think
people focused more on what isessential and what matters to
them, which may not be the sameas what matters to me. I think

(01:05:58):
people could live in communitybetter. You find your tribe, you
find your people. And that'sbecoming more and more evident,
I think to a lot of us, who ourtribe is and what purposes we
align with. I think it'simportant say everything just

(01:06:23):
needs to be simplified.

Siobhan (01:06:28):
And what right now in your life are you focusing on
growing because you've givenWest End over to a new regime.
You and Linda both have moved onto other projects. Tara and
Rachel have West End arts. Yeah,you know. So you still have
fireside, but what are you?
What's the future for fireside?
What's the future for you? Wow.

Sandy Russel (01:06:47):
Well, I'm now spending about half my time in
Grass Valley. I share a housewith my dear friends, and going
back and forth has been good. Itallows me to clear my head and
rest my body, which was, isdefinitely a necessity, and I

(01:07:08):
can come back to Alameda and bemore focused and hit the ground
running get more done. Myfireside is growing in that out
of COVID and doing outdoorevents and stuff, grown a whole
side of the business that wherewe do off site events. So now I

(01:07:29):
do a bunch of events on theHornet as their preferred bar
services vendor, the USS Hornet,right here in Alameda. And super
excited that we'll be doing themosswood meltdown this year in
Oakland. That's amazing. And soexcited to be working with that

(01:07:49):
team, Mark and Parker and thewhole mosswood team. Super
excited. I was fortunate to begiven the gift of a guy named
Maddie mesner Who has a ton ofexperience with music festivals

(01:08:11):
and things like what we'redoing. So he's been able to
teach us a lot. We've been ableto combine some experience and
catering background, along withhis festival background, and I
think we've got really dynamiteformula for making this work. So
we're excited about that, andthere's some other things

(01:08:33):
coming, but, you know, too soonto talk about All right,

Siobhan (01:08:36):
well, I would talk to you all day, and I probably
will, because we're going todinner. Yeah, I know I need to
give you off to carry for acouple hours of work. So thank
you so much for sitting downwith us, for telling us about
how to find some of our ownaccountability, how to figure
out how to be better in theworld and to build community.

Sandy Russel (01:08:53):
You're welcome. Do they need to know that this is
the third time we've recorded

Siobhan (01:09:01):
we can share that, Sandy is because you're humble,
like almost to a fault, and Ilike that about you, and I see
that myself in that about you,because I can be very humble and
very Don't look at me. It's notabout me, it's about this. It's
about that. And we both have toget better at being like, oh
yeah. We also are the bad asses,and like, you are an inspiration

(01:09:21):
to so many people on thisisland. Like you have created a
safe space for so many people onthis island. You do events and
fundraisers for school, for theLGBTQ community, for the
softball teams, for you knowwhat I mean? Like your care to
the community isn't for onetribe, one group, it's for the
whole community. And it's youtry to create spaces that all of

(01:09:43):
those different tribes andcommunities and and groups can
come to together and share andenjoy the things that overlap in
those things. You know, firesideis that their only thing is be
nice, or your or yours. Youknow, however it got there Bitsy
and, you know, I. It's that'sthe overarching golden rule. And
I think it's kind of, you know,amazing that it's painted in

(01:10:06):
sparkling gold that says, Benice to leave, because that's
all that matters. We don't carewho, who you sleep with, how you
look. If you're polite, you'rewelcome in. If you're not, get
the fuck out. Like it's thepeople that come there know that
about you, know that about yourstaff, and they feel comfortable
coming, yeah,

Sandy Russel (01:10:23):
and I think that's also the personal lesson that
we, you know, we're sayingthere's, there's a whole bunch
of people who are like,fireside, Sandy, whatever. They
don't have to like me, right?
But be nice or leave my worldRight, right? And, and I'm gonna
be nice in yours. And if thatworks great, right? If it
doesn't, you know, yeah, I'llleave. You can leave, right? You

(01:10:44):
know, I,you know, we both know a bunch
of people that, yay, want tohang out with you, or yay, I
don't, yeah, i i Those aren'tpeople I want to hang out with
either. You

Siobhan (01:11:04):
know, it's a good reminder too, that like you
don't have not everything is foreveryone, and not everyone has
to like everyone. You shouldrespect and be courteous. For
sure. Don't need to, you don'tneed to be in love with
everybody, or want to beeverywhere everyone

Sandy Russel (01:11:18):
else is absolutely, absolutely, and I'll
just keep doing my best to doright by myself and by others.
And you know, honor and love thepeople that I love the most.
Well

Siobhan (01:11:36):
I honor and love you.
Yay, same. Thank you all forlistening. If you're in Alameda,
come check out Fireside Loungeat 1453 Webster Street in
Alameda, California, FiresideLounge, Alameda on the webs or
fireside

Sandy Russel (01:11:52):
at at fireside Alameda is, is our Instagram,
our website is the firesidelounge.com. And you can reach me
at Sandy at the firesidelounge.com.

Siobhan (01:12:06):
Perfect. Yeah. Any bands want to come book through
Sandy, let us know. All right,y'all, I love you too, and go
find some joy today. You.