Questions & Quitting with Kirkland

Episode Transcript
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Siobhan (00:08):
Foreign Hey, y'all welcome to this week's episode
of Ducking Realty in the pond.
With me today, I have one of mybasically original first,
probably 10 guests in Decemberof 2022 is the last time we sat
down. Wow. So today with me ismy friend, Kirkland. Oh, hi. Hi,
Kirkland. How you do I'm good.
How are you pretty good. Good. Icouldn't believe that it's been

(00:30):
since December of 2022, since wesat down. I thought it was way
less time that passed. I didtoo. And I have to say, since
then we probably have, like,seen each other only in passing,
and for like, quick littleright? 10 minutes, Hey, how are
you what's going on exactly thattime we went to the cannabis
place. Oh, yes, was that stizzy?
Yeah, it was dizzy. Yeah, yeah,I've only been in there one time

(00:51):
after that.
We so, well, you don't smokeweed. You don't drink anymore.
No, when you were on, you wereon your way to giving it up. I
think we were talking about it,right, but you had still been
you were partaking on theepisode, I think, yeah, yeah, we
were having a cocktail. No, wedidn't. We didn't, yeah, I think
I bought it.

Kirkland (01:10):
Yes, you offered me a bottle. And I'm like, I'll come
and get it later. Yeah, I stilldon't have

Siobhan (01:15):
it.

Kirkland (01:17):
Trace it at it. It's still here, but, yeah, we'll be
back next week. I think tooright on. No, no, I gave it up.
Did I tell you how I gave it up?
I don't think so. I got covidFebruary, 27 2023
I was hosting at swell bar, andsomeone came in with it because
I didn't have it before thatnight, right? And that night,

(01:39):
when I got home after two hoursof beginning her cough and
feeling weird, I gave myself atest. I'm like, Oh, shit, I got
it. I tested positive. I textedeverybody I knew who was there.
Said, spread the word. I gotcovid. Someone else was going to
have it too. Yeah, three otherpeople did have it. Oh, wow.
They all test themselvesimmediately. 10 days in, the
symptoms I ended up with weresuper fatigue. I just wanted to

(02:02):
sleep all day, and I had one dayof non stop runny nose. But
that's not terrible. No, 10days, and I'm like, I'm gonna go
get a bottle. Then I said, Ihave no one to share it with.
Then I said, How long can you gowithout it? Haven't touched it
since? Wow, that's not true. Idid touch it July 4 this year.

(02:23):
Oh, okay, I had half a, not evenhalf, let's say maybe two
teaspoons of champagne, oh, anda hit of infused weed. Oh, we
went hard. It was bad. It was

Siobhan (02:38):
really you had a bad reaction to it. I

Kirkland (02:41):
felt like I couldn't walk. I got so high god Gnosis,
wow, yep, never again.

Siobhan (02:46):
Now your body's just like, nope. We don't need it.

Kirkland (02:48):
Nope. We hate it. We hate it. Also, what helped me
quit drinking was how much moneywas I spending drinking, if I
added up even the free drinks Igot for hosting. At that point,
I was hosting four nights aweek, yeah, 1200

Siobhan (03:01):
a month. Wow, yeah, I have not and I don't want to see
what I spend on booze. It's atest. But it's also it's harder
for me because I bartend. Somost of my drinking is behind
the bar when other people arebuying my drinks.

Kirkland (03:14):
That's super easy. So it's also cut yourself off,
right?

Siobhan (03:18):
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah.
I'm very good about, like, whenI'm behind the bar. It's so
funny, because when I'm behindthe bar, I can drink differently
than when I'm not, okay, whenyou're not behind the bar, it's
like, two drinks will hit me,really. Yeah. Do you think it's
because behind the bar, you keepmoving? You've got to keep up?
Yeah? I think it's Yeah. I thinkit's like, I'll do like, half
shots or shots, but I willspread them out, but I'm still
moving, and it's just theadrenaline, and I have to be

(03:40):
paying attention to everyone inthe room and what's going on,
and right, you know who's nextand what happens. And you don't

Kirkland (03:47):
always accept free drinks. You just have get it
later or whatever. Yeah,

Siobhan (03:50):
sometimes I'll do that, yeah? Sometimes, like, I'll have
half with someone, half ofsomeone, right on. So it's like,
I don't even know if I drink allthe free drinks.

Kirkland (03:58):
I bet you don't. I bet you don't. Did you got it? Like
you just said, keep an eye onthe bar and serve customers.
Yeah, you have

Siobhan (04:03):
to keep your wits about you. Like, I've worked with
bartenders who get, like, superdrunk, and I'm just like, I
don't know how you do that.
Like, what happens if somethinghappens?

Kirkland (04:10):
I've seen it like, yeah, when I worked the door at
a certain bar at a fireside andI did get in trouble because I
was accepting some free juice inlieu of covered yeah, oh yeah.
And Sandy said, Give me yourwrist. She slapped my wrist and
said, we've all been there.
We've all done it, but you'rethe first person they see, and
you got to keep an eye on a bar,right? So no more drinks during
your shift. Yeah, no problem.

Siobhan (04:32):
You getting free drinks in lieu of covers. Is her not
getting covers? That's

Kirkland (04:37):
right. So really trouble? Yeah, it was trouble,
yeah? But when she says, Stop, Istopped, yeah, of

Siobhan (04:42):
course. And you do it because you're not you think
it's not a big deal, like,you're like, Oh

Kirkland (04:45):
yeah, of course, yeah.
But I did max out at three, butthat's still stealing, yeah? And
it, but it's

Siobhan (04:50):
hard to say it's stealing because it doesn't feel
like stealing because, like, no,they bought something. They

Kirkland (04:55):
did buy something, but they didn't pay the cover and I
let them in, yeah, but I. Ican't do the job anymore anyway,
no, too old for it and

Siobhan (05:03):
to like, to dapper for it,

Kirkland (05:09):
fun part, dress up for

Siobhan (05:12):
it, like, for, like, the the some of the crap you
have to deal with. Oh yeah, the

Kirkland (05:19):
whole joint. Yeah, thank you. But no, yeah,
situation, I just rather host. Ilike hosting trivia. Yeah. How
many nights you hosting? Now, atthis point, it's three nights,
but four different spots. Everyother Monday is swell bar, and
tonight's going to be thecannabis place, Park, social.
Oh, okay. 630 Tuesday, fireside.
Wednesday is clubhouse nicethis. Tuesday is my 11th

(05:43):
anniversary hosting there. Oh,wow,

Siobhan (05:48):
that's awesome. It is awesome. 11 years, 11 years,

Kirkland (05:52):
even during covid.
Yep, we were the only game intown online for Alameda trivia.

Siobhan (05:56):
Oh, yeah, that's right, because you got you and Scott
Kelly, no, Scott,

Kirkland (06:03):
one sec. We had Carrie Yellen. We had Sean Keeley. Sean
Keeley is who I was thinking of.
Okay. We had Scott miner. Scottminer, yeah, yes. Sorry, Scott.
And occasionally mardia Moyerwould host or host a round. And
some we had written rounds frompeople named Jack Mingo and one
other person. But yeah, during ashelter in place. Yeah, we

(06:26):
didn't miss a week. That'samazing. It was amazing. Some
weeks were slower than others,but our biggest weeks, we had
200 No, yeah, about 200 people.
Holy shit. We had people fromacross the country. I didn't
realize that it had gotten thatbig. Got that big. Wow, like
July 2020, through July 2021,just before things, yeah,

(06:48):
reopened, we were consistent. Wehad a good crowd, wow. And then
when things started opening,right? There is still an online
version via fireside. We haven'tmarketed in a minute, but I
haven't talked to Sean. I mean,he was doing that aspect of it,
but I guess he's still doing it.
I haven't talked to him. Oh,last time I talked to him was
May of 2024, wow, yeah. But hey,we're still doing it. Yeah, I

(07:10):
was

Siobhan (07:12):
gonna say we're May of 2025. Has already passed. So
over a year, over a year, yep,every time we got nothing, no,
no, we got it. It's recordedeverything until we mentioned
will, keys name,

Kirkland (07:26):
no shit, no shit.
Should we not mention it then?
No, I

Siobhan (07:30):
think it's kind of him fucking with us. Okay? I mean, I
mean, that's

Kirkland (07:34):
on brand for real.
Yeah,

Siobhan (07:36):
everything, literally on brand. Everything up until we
said we haven't sat down. One ofthe other reasons, we both
didn't sit down, and then itcuts.

Kirkland (07:45):
He just did this stuff. I'm totally buying that.
Well, you

Siobhan (07:50):
know what else is? So last weekend, I worked the
mosswood meltdown, yeah, forSandy, and Devo was the
headliner. And so the first dayI borrowed Stevie has, like, one
of those energy dome hats, nicefrom, like, the 90s. So I
borrowed that, and I used it asmy tip jar. And then he was
supposed to work an event kindof similar to that the weekend

(08:10):
he died, or the weekend beforehe died for somebody, right?
Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be hisfirst one. So the second day
wake up to go to it, and I justwoke up feeling shitty and
missing him. It was just like,super heavy. And I was like, All
right, shower. Shake it off. Goto work. Go to work. Be at the
Music Festival. It's like a punkrock music festival. Be great.
Like, totally. Get my mind offit, right? I walk in and there's

(08:32):
fucking wrestlers everywhere. Ofcourse there are. And it's like,
hood, slam, drag wrestling. Likethey had a whole wrestling
great. And I was like, Are youfucking kidding me?

Kirkland (08:43):
You finally you had gotten a car and it was kind of
dissipating, and like, Park.

Siobhan (08:50):
And you're like, Woohoo. And I'm like, All right,
I can do it. Like, shake it off.
It'll be fine. And then I wasjust like, Are you kidding me?
And then I was in the backstagebar, so then they're all just
standing in front of my bar thewhole time,

Kirkland (09:05):
basically the year to the day.

Siobhan (09:06):
No, it was, this was just last weekend, so it's just
over two years, two yearsrather, yeah, so, because he was
early May, but it was just like,you know, when you wake up and
you just, grief is fickle, like,sure is fucking shows up out of
nowhere,

Kirkland (09:19):
out of nowhere. Most of my grief comes through my
dreams, does it family members?

Siobhan (09:24):
Yeah, I don't. I think I smoke too much weed to dream
really? Yeah, I don't dream alot, or at least I don't
remember my dreams. Yeah, andthey say that weed is probably
because I do. Whenever I'm Itake a break from smoking, I'll
have the craziest dreams, whichI don't remember them, but I do
get wake up going like, Huh? Ido dream

Kirkland (09:41):
so they're vivid, and yet you just came here. I don't
remember them. My dreams are 90%of my dreams. I totally remember
really super vivid. Sometimes Iwake up, mostly struck by these
dreams. I have to tell myself,that was just a fucking dream.
Do snap out, right? You're like,I'm in bed, I'm okay, yeah, I'm
in bed, I'm okay, yeah. Thishappened. This happened. Was
morning.

Siobhan (10:01):
What was your dream about this morning?

Kirkland (10:04):
Me, my mom, my sister, not getting along. Oh, it's
always that these

Siobhan (10:08):
days. Was it because they're both gone right now?

Kirkland (10:10):
My sister, oh, you know, my sister, the last two
remaining sisters, they arealive, but we are so distant. We
are we've been estranged forlike, four years. That sucks. It
does suck. I want to help him,and I want to talk to him, but I
can't, right?

Siobhan (10:23):
Yeah, and that's the hardest part, too. Is when you
want to and you can't, yeah, Ifamily that, like, we don't
really talk anymore, and it'sweird. And,

Kirkland (10:32):
but you had a trip where you saw some of your
family members,

Siobhan (10:34):
right? I did, yeah. So, yeah. I mean, so we have one of
the things on the table today,was all the magnets that I got
for you, right in my travels,and there's two years worth. So
I was putting them out on thetable earlier, I should take a
picture of them. And I was like,oh, which ones, like, do I have?
And then it was like a littlememory trip for me, every
magnet, yeah, because it's beenso when I went on my first big
trip, right after Wilke died,actually, right? You said to me,

(10:58):
when you go get me magnets, Icollect magnets from everywhere.
And so then I got you magnetsfrom that trip. From that trip,
and I'm literally everywherepeople, yep, so I gave you those
ones. And then last or two yearsago, when I went, I have not
seen you since then, that'sright. And then I have now by,
isn't it, and then I was like, Ibuy magnets wherever we go or I
go. There is not one for herefrom Prague, because, for

(11:20):
whatever reason, I did not buyany memorabilia, nothing. I
didn't buy anything in Prague.
What do you think slowed thatup? I think I was just enjoying
it so much, right on. Like, notime, kitschy, yeah. And I was
like, oh, there's a shop rightthere. I'll go get go and get it
later. I'll go and get it later.
Oh, right on. And then I justdidn't, but then I was like, I
didn't get myself, but I didn'ton the plane leaving, and I was

(11:43):
like, I didn't get Kirkland amagnet, even at the airport, I
didn't even get myself anything,but I thought of you first.

Kirkland (11:53):
Thank you so much.
This is great, yeah.

Siobhan (11:55):
So there's a ton of them, but yeah. So this one from
Aruba. That's when I went awaywith my family, actually, okay,
but that was just with myregular family, okay, like my
parents, my brother and hiskids, right on, but yeah, they
my parents were out here inMonterey Bay. But then you have
magnets here. Now, it soundslike a humble brag, but
Istanbul,

Kirkland (12:15):
she's a world traveler. She's in a group from,
not from Groupon, a travelinggroup, though, right? Yeah, we
go

Siobhan (12:19):
to bathe all across the world,

Kirkland (12:24):
like hot bathe, or whatever it's

Siobhan (12:26):
the banya, okay, is what we call it, but saunas and
cold plunges

Kirkland (12:32):
thermal water that will murder me due to sickle
cell. Well, we talked about thatpreviously.

Siobhan (12:37):
I know I wanted to find out how the sickle cell is
going, and read

Kirkland (12:40):
these things first for the Magnus, and then we'll talk
about, okay, Istanbul, fancyBudapest, Milano, taleen. Am I
saying that? Right?

Siobhan (12:49):
Tallinn, Tallinn, that's in Estonia, Frankfurt,
Saudi Arabia, Saudi Arabia. Thatwas just this year, badass

Kirkland (12:59):
Luxembourg.

Siobhan (13:01):
That was a quick trip, a drunk trip.

Kirkland (13:03):
A what trip drunk folks, I think you heard her say
it fast, it was a drug trip.

Siobhan (13:08):
Drunk. We drank a lot in Luxembourg. That was all we
did. We drank and ate and thenwe left. We were there for like,
one night.

Kirkland (13:14):
Nice. Yeah, super party, munching in my Santa,
right? Yes. What's this? That iscologne, Cologne, Berlin, Aruba,
she mentioned Palm Springs,Denver, Colorado, Aspen,
Colorado, yep, oh, it's amagnet.

Siobhan (13:29):
That is a magnet, yep.
What's this here? That is a

Kirkland (13:32):
made in Germany. Yep, it

Siobhan (13:35):
is a dragon Castle outside of Munich. When you say
dragon Castle, it has likedragons all over it, like they
had the huge dragon statues,

Kirkland (13:45):
nice, yeah, any gold?
Yes, nice. Because, you know,dragons, I found out this week.
I don't know how true it is.
Dragons poop gold. They do notpoop gold. They just thought
they protected it that, yeah,but you know, people are making
because of the internet, Latviaand finally, Vienna. Yes,

Siobhan (14:04):
nice. So many good trips outstanding.

Kirkland (14:07):
Yes, I have told you this before. I would love to
join, but I get nervous, becauseif I have a sickle cell crisis
overseas, I don't want anybodyhaving to say, oh, we gotta take
care of this guy, and he'sfucking up our trip. Right? I
found out that there are othertravel groups that I could join
via Groupon or whatever. Oh,nice where someone would be able
to do that, but I have to domore research about it. Oh,

(14:27):
that's amazing. Also, I have tosay this. I shouldn't put it on
the universe like that. I shouldjust say, let's take this trip
and see what happens. Right now,the last time I took a trip, I
merely went to North Carolinathis year. The last time before
that was Detroit. Pretty easytrips, turbulence. However, the
world has changed. Yeah, I don'tcare what people say. One proof

(14:49):
of climate change is turbulenceis not what it used to be. It's
harder, it's more powerful, andit's not just left to right,
it's up and down. Went on a tripwith Sandy for her brother's
50th birthday. For an hour and10 minute flight. The turbines
was vertical. Oh, wow. We wererising off our seats and
dropping back down our seats. Ohmy gosh. Sandy, can deal with

(15:10):
that stuff. I could deal withtoo. If it didn't shake my
innards, which would trigger asickle cell crisis, it would,
but it didn't. I got lucky, so Ihave to kind of build up to it.
But I do want to travel. I wantto travel. I want to travel this
planet. Yeah? Like you, you'rekilling it. I thank you. I envy
anyone who can travel the planetand not

Siobhan (15:27):
have problems. I am still in awe that I have gotten
to do this. And I keep sayinghave gotten to because I'm like,
it might go away. Like,

Kirkland (15:35):
well, you don't want to think that, but the bottom
falls out of state all the time.

Siobhan (15:39):
Yeah? And I don't, but I'm trying to stop that way of
thinking too, yeah, me too.
Like, maybe it's all like, mymother is very much a worrywart
and, like, always, worst casescenario, and it will aggravate
the shit out of me, yeah? ButI'm trying to be like, okay, but
mom, maybe all the bad shit it'salready happened, right? Like,
look at all the data we have.
The bad shit has happened. We'vesurvived it, and we've been

(16:00):
getting better and better, so,like, maybe all the bad shits
already done.

Kirkland (16:04):
That is very optimistic, yeah, but it depends
on what category you're talkingabout.

Siobhan (16:08):
Oh, yeah. And it's still, like, trying to lie to
myself into believing

Kirkland (16:10):
it. That's fair enough. Yeah, I will fake the
funk too, yeah. But I didn't,

Siobhan (16:15):
I guess I knew. So you've taught me the most about
sickle cell, but I didn'trealize traveling could be such
a

Kirkland (16:22):
cabin pressure has affected me at one point. The
stress of travel has affected meat one point. When I was married
and we went to New Orleans, wewere on buddy passes, and she
was so hyped up. It's weird tosay it, but it's true. I'm an
empath, right? Empath? I willabsorb people's emotions and try
to either talk through it orjust dine on it, but that will

(16:44):
affect me too. Stress, weatherand sudden physical changes will
create a sickle cell crisis.
Yeah, I've been lucky. I havenot had to go to the hospital
with this since 2016 Nice.
That's really lucky. My doctor,like, Dude, you are kind of an
anomaly. You come to these whenwe need to do a check up on you.
You come every quarter. Youdon't ask us for much, but a lot

(17:06):
of people come here just whenthey really need stuff, right?
Besides me, they just needwhatever they need. But I just
go there to make sure I'm okay,right? Currently, the sickle
cell thing has been very chill.
Do you know what creatine is?
Mine's up and that's trouble.
Okay, they also sickle cellpatients cannot do the A 1c test
for diabetes. Oh, really, itjust does not register. Oh, it's

(17:29):
very weird. I could havediabetes, and it wouldn't
surprise me. I hate to say it,but it wouldn't surprise me if I
do, because when I gave updrinking candy, yep, cakes,
donuts, pies. I have astrawberry cheesecake pie from
nations at the house right now.
Nice. I'm thinking about it aswe speak. I can't get enough of

(17:50):
Butterfingers either. I thought

Siobhan (17:52):
you were just gonna pull one out of your pocket. I
already ate it.

Kirkland (17:57):
It's bad. It's really bad. Oh, it's really bad,

Siobhan (18:04):
wow. But

Kirkland (18:06):
again, the lucky part is no hospital trips, but the
pain is consistent. I had a onemoment, yeah, this is good. It
tastes minty, like a menthol,you know what? So this supposed
to last three days before youhave to change the core.

Siobhan (18:22):
And so you're sucking on. Am a vape, but it's
different. There's

Kirkland (18:27):
no smoke. It's just a flavored core. You're pulling in
air. That's just okay. That'swhy there's no exhalation,
right? It's going to replace thecigarettes, because it tastes
like a menthol cigarette. Yep,it was expensive, but it's going
to be worth it. How much arecigarettes?

Siobhan (18:41):
My 15, $16 pack, 1450,

Kirkland (18:44):
a pack, and I put a menthol card and assess another
three bucks.

Siobhan (18:47):
Wow. Or if you can find the Menthols, what are those?
Like, 20 bucks a

Kirkland (18:51):
pack. Now, correct?
Some people will say 17. Itain't 17. That's funny. You're
paying two bucks a cigarette,yeah? So when people ask if they
can bum a cigarette,

Siobhan (19:00):
yeah, no,

Kirkland (19:03):
buy one. If they offer to buy I give it to them. Oh,
that's nice. If they come up tome talking, good, can I get a
cigarette? No, please be politewhen you got your hand out.
Yeah, maybe I'm being anasshole.

Siobhan (19:15):
No, I don't think so. I think I was talking about this
with someone else the other day.
Like, common courtesy has goneaway. It is gone. And like, why?
What can we bring that back? No,no, never. You don't think

Kirkland (19:26):
only people who appreciate it will use it. The
Internet has changed everything.
Everything has changed due totechnology. And it's cool to be
an asshole, but it's more workto be an asshole. They don't see
it like that, but it is beingfree, like to me, I see that
it's a lot of work to be in,right? But then think about your
core values. Yeah, it's supereasy to be nice. Yeah, it's

(19:48):
better to be nice. And

Siobhan (19:51):
it's like, I don't have to think about something because
I am always doing the same kindof things, right? Treating
people the same way, right? Likeit

Kirkland (19:59):
doesn't look. Hurt you to be an asshole? No? And if you
are an asshole, it's in defenseof some ass who came to you. So
are you being an asshole? Areyou just defending

Siobhan (20:07):
yourself? I would say just defending myself. Me too.
Yeah. I mean, I could just be anasshole like and sometimes I
make jokes asshole ish, I dotoo, because people know that
when

Kirkland (20:17):
you're joking, because they know you right. But

Siobhan (20:20):
do you think it's just the internet, or do you think
covid had a big part of it, too?
Covid had a huge part with wherepeople just don't know how to
interact

Kirkland (20:27):
anymore. We are all suffering some form of PTSD
after covid, but also brings outthe truth of them. Yeah, yeah,
that's I don't work the dooranymore. Did I take that story?
No, think I did. Oh yes, I thinkyou did in the first one, but
I'll remind the Yeah,

Siobhan (20:41):
please. If someone didn't listen to our I don't
know why they wouldn't listen to

Kirkland (20:45):
our either. Duh. I'm working a door. We had the
outside parklet, and my job wasto make sure that if you're
coming to the bar and you'regonna set the outside parklet,
you can smoke, you can drink,you can eat, but you got to have
your mask on, at least beneathyour chin. Here's what I would
say. Hi. My name is Kirkland. Iwork the door here, and I help
arrange the line so you can goin and get your drinks. Please

(21:07):
keep your mask going beneathyour chin. So if a cop or a Fed
person comes by and sees peoplewithout their masks, they could
shut us down. Oh, that was athing. People didn't believe it,
but it was a thing. So oneFriday night, this is when
things started to reopen. 2021 agentleman. I'm six. Two, a

(21:27):
gentleman. I gotta say it, and Idon't mean this to be racist,
but I'm going to describe thesituation. This white guy who's
about five eight. He entered mypersonal bubble, got in my face.
He didn't say anything, but hereally got close to me. And I
said, I'm just telling you therules, sir. This is how it works
here. And then I backed away,right? He didn't say anything,

(21:49):
but he really got close, like hesquared up. That's the term,
yeah, the next day was aSaturday. I said, the same.
Stick to everybody who wasthere. This guy was taller than
me, six, four. I think he got inmy face. He squared up. These
are rules. So I'm just lettingyou know the following weekend
happened again, and eachgentleman who did so was a white
male, of course, squared up atme. One guy was my height, and

(22:13):
one guy was at my chin. So 511Sandy just happened to be
outside, and I said, saying, I'mputting in my two weeks. I can't
do this anymore. At that point,I was 57 years old. Yeah, I
know, as a doorman, you can'ttouch them unless they touch
you, but they got in my face.
I'm the only black male face outthere, basically, yeah, I don't

(22:35):
know what the Alameda cops willdo. I'm gonna trust that they'll
do the right thing. But backthen, after the George Floyd
shit, I didn't trust anybody, soI had to get out of there. She
made a stern face and said, Iunderstand, and that's why I
didn't work the door anymore.
Yeah, the covid thing led me tostop drinking. I still go to
bars to host trivia. Sometimes Ivisit a bar just to hang out

(22:55):
with the people. And I don'tfeel that anymore. I don't feel
that anymore. You don't feel theneed to go to a bar. Oh

Siobhan (23:05):
yeah, yeah, because you haven't penned out just to hang
out other than trivia that I'veseen you. I

Kirkland (23:10):
go to fireside to dance. That's the only spot to
dance. Oh yeah. And I've gone toWally's. Wants to ball, to shoot
pool. They have a drinking drawon Tuesday night. So I popped in
there after that just to draw.
Yeah, been I haven't been lemon.
What's it called, let me draw. Istopped there once after hosting

(23:32):
a private trivia event, and itwas way thick with people, and I
got the hell out of I justdidn't feel comfortable. Yeah,
and then part of not drinkingmade me ask, besides money,
besides feeling better, why wasI drinking? Here's what I came
up with. Okay, I do love theflavor of Bloomberg 12. To me,
it's like sweet tea withalcohol. Yeah, in my for my

(23:54):
palate, I dig that. But if youdrink it right, you wouldn't
have a headache or get sick. Youhave to work that, because some
days the stress is high. Yeah,takes more to get that buzz
going after that. Why was Idrinking? I was thinking. I
think I was drinking to try tofit in with people. Oh, I could
see that that's sad, yeah. Soyeah, nope, yeah.

Siobhan (24:19):
There are times that I know that I know that I'll have
like, an extra shot just becauseI'm uncomfortable. And it's
like, All right, well, let mejust loosen up.

Kirkland (24:26):
Did it make you more comfortable

Siobhan (24:29):
in a way? Yes, in a way, yeah. But it wasn't.

Kirkland (24:31):
It was just to make you feel more comfortable
hanging with the baby you'rehanging Yep, yeah. So like,

Siobhan (24:35):
makes me a little, like, it gets me out of my head
a little, because I can be veryin my head, and

Kirkland (24:41):
you're always in your head, yeah? The Hyper analytical
stuff, the trying not to worry,yeah. And the trying to solve
things that can't be solved or

Siobhan (24:50):
things that aren't even my problem, yeah. Like, I was
just talking to Rolando fromMalaya botanicals the other day,
and he was like, Oh, I was justtalking to these people, and we
were talking about why thisplace? Doesn't have many people
to it, and how we should have anevent and and he's like, and
then I realized I talked myselfinto more work. There's, again,
no more talking to people. We'renot doing that anymore, right,
right? Less people like, we'renot people as much because we

(25:13):
keep giving ourselves more work.
And it's not work that like getsus well paid or like, right?
It's like, a bunch of work thatgives other people a great time,
right? But our ROI isn't great,right? Like, we're not making a
shit ton of money on it. We'renot, like, being able to relax
and enjoy it all, and if

Kirkland (25:29):
you do it enough times, you'll be expected to do
it, yeah, with no real gain,

Siobhan (25:33):
yep, yep. So I'm like, we we're not doing that anymore.
Like we're doing things thatmake us money, that we can
enjoy, or at least make ushappy, yeah, or bring us just so
much joy that we don't care thatwe're not making any money,
right? Like, but we're notwalking around at events going,
Okay, well, this was a lot ofwork for what, for what, like,
we're not doing that anymore,yeah, but it's really hard to
get and break out of thosehabits.

Kirkland (25:54):
It's super hard. Yeah, it's super hard. I got lucky
with the breaking out ofdrinking, but, and then I got
lucky with not having to go tobars. Sometimes the walls do
close anything. Sometimes yougot to go

Siobhan (26:05):
out. Yeah, so where have you really replaced it with
anything yet? Have you, like,joined to different community
groups or

Kirkland (26:11):
not yet? No, you know why. I do dig my own company.
Yeah, I do train myself all day,comic books, books, yeah, okay,
here's an example. Duringshelter in place, when I was
still on Amazon, I would orderbooks that I saw online, 6019
project The Warmth of OtherSuns. These are all written by
black authors and blackscholars. Okay, they're hard to

(26:32):
read because they're actualhistory. They're really hard to
read. Like, I'll do a coupleparagraphs. I'm like, nope. So
with that said I would join orlook on YouTube to see what
other people have said about thebook. I'm not formulating
opinion based on what they said.
I just want to see what theythought. Right. Many people
think the 1619 project is a wellresearched book, but it got her
in trouble because it made theright say CRT is being taught in

(26:54):
our schools. It is not right andtaught at certain universities.
If those universities want totake that on as part of their
curriculum, it is not beingtaught in K through 12 schools.
But that narrative got out andpeople believed it. People are
idiots. PFS, did we get our Tshirts yet? People

Siobhan (27:14):
not yet. They're coming. They're coming. I just
talked to a merch guy right on.
So much merch waiting, waitingto come. Yep, I'm always like,
I'll put that on a t

Kirkland (27:24):
shirt, right? Let's talk about the trivia for a
minute. Yeah, that's it's crazy.
I've been hosting trivia atfireside for 11 years, but I've
actually been hosting for we'rein 2025 we started when the
Benton was these way back inJuly of 2012 Oh, wow. We did
that once a month, myself and aguy named Stacy Ward, okay,
Stacy Ward would write thisstuff, and I would be the face

(27:45):
of the franchise and host thestuff. He says, I had a better
voice. You do have a good voice.
Thank you. So we would do thatonce a month, and it worked for
a while, and then diseasechanged hands, and disease
changed hands. And the lastowner, when we were doing it,
and was not a big fan of it, buthe let it keep going. Okay, some
people, I gotta mention a name,didn't like playing trivia

(28:07):
because they didn't, they didn'tfeel comfortable with it. You
can name me. It's okay, not justyou. There's several people,
yeah, Wilkie was one. Chrissy isanother. Oh, really. And there
was one other person, what otherperson? Anyway, when we were
hosting that z's, she and Iwould team up and buy the

(28:27):
prizes, cheesy prizes from $1store. They're the best. They
are the best. And we would comeup with the questions and blah,
blah, blah. Stacy had to movevarious times. He was going
through a lot of stuff with hiskids, so he had to be safe, and
he would, he kind of fizzled outof writing the questions. By
this point, two years havepassed, and I'm got the gist of
it. I know how to createquestions. Now, one night, I'll

(28:52):
tell you the Chrissy storyfirst, then the Willkie story.
Chrissy was bartending, and wehad just enough of a car, like
maybe 15 people. This is at theBenton, yeah, which was back
fancies, I hate this. Kirk, Ihate this. So she had another
bartender. My May, May May. Shejoined her, and they were on a
team. This was mostly aHalloween themed trivia. They

(29:14):
did. Well, yep, 1f JeffCampbell, Jeff Lynham were a
team. They were very good attrivia. They were super good at
trivia. Yeah, they was recentlycame up on a candy round. Oh,

(29:37):
they had the same amount ofcorrect that each had 10 the
tiebreaker question was, in theyear 2017 please name the top
selling candy of that year andhow much money that candy made
for its company? Wow. So theJeff team. I think their their
team name was f them all. That'swhat I gave them. But I think

(29:58):
they would call themselves thesuper Jefferson. I can't
remember they come up withwhat's my call it, $1.3 million
Chrissy came up with the rightanswer and the right number on
the money. Wow. The answer is,Snickers, $2 billion $2 billion
$2 billion she didn't write 2billion with a, b, she wrote two

(30:19):
Oh, comma, oh, comma, oh, comma,oh, point, oh. When I told her,
not only did you get the candyright, you got the number right,
she almost did back flips behindthat bar. I'm never good. I'm
like, you don't know whatquestions you're gonna be good.
You just won this round. Shelost her shit. May also lost her
shit. And the Jeff fellows werelike, stunned. It was so funny.

(30:45):
She ended up loving trivia.
Yeah, Wilkie said the same thingto me. I don't want to play
Kirk. I'm like, Okay, I'll justleave it here, and you can just
write down answer if you want toor not, right? Of course, the
questions were in hiswheelhouse. Like, I do know
that, I do know that I do knowthat. I do know that he came in
second place on that round. Oh,wow. Same with you when you
play. Didn't we do the samething? Did you get, like, six or
something, right? Yep, I hatetrivia. Then you didn't. I know

(31:06):
people never know. What can I

Siobhan (31:09):
do? Like, I won't actively seek to go to trivia,
because it does make me feeldumb,

Kirkland (31:14):
sure, but once you're in, okay, I know you play more
than once under my

Siobhan (31:18):
trivia. Yeah, I have, but it's only because I've,
like, because I'll come by andsee you and

Kirkland (31:22):
then leave. Okay, right? You do bounce out, but
you did give it a shot. But Ihave a couple times

Siobhan (31:27):
when friends are there, been like, Oh, I'll stay for a
bit, and then end up staying forthe whole thing

Kirkland (31:30):
and having a good time. The plan is just to sneak
it up on you, yeah, because Iget test

Siobhan (31:35):
anxiety, and I think it translates to trivia, where I'm
like, I don't know. And peoplewould be like, you know this?
I'm like, I don't know this. Idon't know

Kirkland (31:40):
anything. A lot of people go through, what's my
last name? What am I doing here?
I've heard people say, Hey, youshould use a red pen with your
scores.

Siobhan (31:50):
I can't. No, I can't.
Oh, my God, that just gave meanxiety thinking about it. I

Kirkland (31:54):
did a purple pin because I thought I grabbed the
black pen, but it was purple.
Yeah. And people were like, Whydo you have a purple pen? I'm
like, I use this to score.
Please don't yeah, it reminds meof third grade. I'm like, Yoink.
I had to throw it out. Peopleget freaked out with that stuff.
I've had teachers who come toplay trivia. This is like,
school, no, it's not. I did notteach you this stuff. I'm just
hoping you remember this stuff.

Siobhan (32:15):
But I'm a big fan of, like, sorry, when you have,
like, the picture rounds or logorounds or movie rounds. Like,
that's my wheelhouse. History.
Love that. Yeah, history ones,not so much. Okay, I'm

Kirkland (32:24):
gonna give everybody a secret. Okay, I'll never do
geography. I hate geography. Idon't necessarily do hard
history. I do pop culturehistory. That's better. Yes, my
favorite round to do, tointroduce it. This is what
helped me get the gig atpreacher's daughter. She was

(32:44):
already gonna hire me, right?
Because I had enough reputation,and the person who recommended
me was a good friend of hers.
But I said, Let's do a round soyou can get the feel of it. I
did a candy round. Nice. We didnot do this in the previous
discussion, right? Let's playnow. All right. All right. She's
not nervous. Gosh, she's notnervous. People. Here we get in

(33:04):
there candy slogans. I read theslogan, you name the candy. This
is one of my favorite rounds tointroduce this to, for anybody.
All right, Kirkland, here we go.
Oh, wrong. Nope. Not that one.

(33:26):
I'm gonna do a more recent one.
Makes mouths happy. Now give youa hint. It's red. It's not a
chocolate bar.

Siobhan (33:41):
Liquor, no, yeah, Twizzlers, correct. Oh yeah,
makes mouth happy. Little smile,correct, yep, the fresh maker.
Oh gum. It's mints. It'sAltoids. You were close.

Kirkland (33:52):
You said the word Oh, juicy. No, you said the word
mint, mint. These have somereally stupid commercials.
Really stupid commercials. It'snot quite a gumbo, not quite a
candy.

Siobhan (34:04):
Oh, oh, the Listerine strips, no, no, that's not
candy. What is it? Mentos, oh.
Mentos,

Kirkland (34:11):
you were there. Okay, crispy, crunchy peanut buttery,
butterfingers. Correct yourfavorite, my favorite, Taste the
rainbow. Skittles. Correct. Meltin your mouth, not in your
hands. Eminem. Correct, get thesensation. Peppermint Patty.
Correct, your pepper patty.
Don't let hunger happen to you.
Snickers. Correct, two greattastes that taste great

(34:32):
together. I

Siobhan (34:35):
want to say it's Twix.
It's not, I don't know that onetoo. I do peanut butter and
chocolate. Oh, my God, it's myfavorite candy in the whole wide
world. Reese's Peanut ButterCup.

Kirkland (34:49):
Correct? Now, this is not a candy. Double your
pleasure, double your funny. Youalready said double mint gum.
Correct, that's rich.

Siobhan (34:59):
I can see the cup.
Commercial, the chocolatedrizzling. Yes, yeah, yeah,
that's right, what?

Kirkland (35:09):
I don't know. It has a monetary amount,

Siobhan (35:13):
dollar, no paid. What is it called? I want to say it's
a payday, but it's not. It's amillion No,

Kirkland (35:27):
I don't know you. Do know what you just saw? It the
drizzling over. Yeah, of thecandy that's

Siobhan (35:36):
rich. Let's see, this is my why. I don't like trivia.
My brain is now completelyempty. 100 grand, 100 grand.
It's white and blue, isn't it?
The wrapper,

Kirkland (35:50):
it's all red, chocolate.

Siobhan (35:53):
Maybe that's why I was thinking of

Kirkland (35:55):
the Oh, the payday is all white, yeah, and the drizzle
on that is just the peanuts.
They don't judge only chocolateon it. 100 grand bar was
introduced in what year. Ourtiebreakers do not involve
prices, right rules. If you'reover and closest you win, under
and closest you win, orobviously, if you're exact, you
win paid Wait. 100 grand barintroducing what year?

Siobhan (36:18):
Hmm, 19. 53

Kirkland (36:24):
very good. Go up and try again.

Siobhan (36:27):
1962

Kirkland (36:29):
very good.

Siobhan (36:30):
64 Oh, all right, not bad. Not bad. It was in
Jerusalem,

Kirkland (36:33):
1964 it was originally called the $100,000 bar, and
later changed to 100 grand inthe mid 1980s huh? I love that
bar. I love Milky Ways. I usedto love Milky Ways, dark, Milky
Ways and Snickers, but caramelmakes my throat feel funny for
some reason. Oh no, it's like atiny allergy. Or, who knows, the

(36:53):
restroom, yeah, please, whichway too,

Siobhan (36:55):
right across the hall.
And then I'm gonna ask you onemore thing about trivia. Okay,

Kirkland (36:59):
this is so nice. Well done. Thank you.

Siobhan (37:03):
You're welcome. I was just thinking, I can always edit
that so I get them all right.

Kirkland (37:12):
Super editing. I have to get used the fact that I can
use this indoors. So

Siobhan (37:17):
cool. That is cool. I have an oral fixation, so that
would be good. This would begood, yeah, that's one of the
reasons why I like to smoke weedright on.

Kirkland (37:27):
This has a nice weight. You can fidget with it.
These tips are replaceable. Thecores are easily replaced. Nice.
The initial pack was 130 bucksalready paying for itself. Very
nice.

Siobhan (37:41):
All right, so sticking with trivia for a moment. Okay,
what's the most impressivetrivia flex no one talks about
or appreciates enough

Kirkland (37:52):
that's hard to answer because there's so many as
hosts, when I see people who saythey hate trivia, I have you I
used to say this, but it stillhappens. Every person who has
ever said they hate trivia getsat least one right. That one
answer, I've seen it a milliontimes, has won that round or won
the game, right? It reallyhappens. It keeps happening. I

(38:15):
can't stand trivia. Sometimespeople say what you say, because
it's true for them. I just don'tfeel smart. I don't feel
comfortable playing this gameright. Give it a shot nine times
out of 10. It's a picture roundthat they'll get, that one
picture that nobody else on theteam got right, and then nobody
else in the room got, and theywin the round, and they love the
trivia. It's crazy. When you sayflex, what do you mean? Like, I
don't

Siobhan (38:35):
know. I was just trying to think of like, what's
something that you are like whenthere's a team that either has,
like, a really good team name,or like they have a good vibe,
or like they're just, oh,there's like, stuff like that.
Like, what's like, the one thingthat you're always like, this
makes trivia, like, the goodnight, or, yeah,

Kirkland (38:50):
when people who were not ahead suddenly win the whole
fucking thing. There was a teamof three people this back when
preacher's daughter was open.
They came once a summer. I wasworking there, I think we did
five years there, 2021 to 24years older people. The daughter
was my age, okay. They were alittle overweight. They moved

(39:13):
slow, and the other her parentswere from another country, I
think, Germany, okay, they dugthe trivia. When they came here
to visit her, they came to seeme right on one night they came,
I had, like, maybe 12 teams.
Preacher's daughter always had apretty consistent crowd. That's
big, gotta say it. These threepeople were down. They were

(39:36):
always mid range per everyround, one team, the team of the
owners, no no no collusion, nobullet. They were just a good
team. They had 10 on the firstround. Purpose going, this team
had six or 710 on the nextround. Purpose score. This team
six or 710 on the third round.
This team seven or eight and onthe last picture, round 10. So

(39:58):
they were rocking a perfectscore, right? This team got
eight, yeah, eight, the finalround double points. Right? The
team with the six people, theygot another 10, but that's not a
perfect score. This team got 14and beat them. Wow, they beat
them because they had justenough points with the double

(40:19):
one, right? You have never seenelderly people raise their arms
and gently get up like in avictorious if you and I do that
right now, yeah, do it fast.
These guys

Siobhan (40:33):
slow motion.

Kirkland (40:36):
I was like, they're doing it. They're doing the
victory rise, but it's takingthem a week to do it. That is
one of the things that's I'mlike, that's why I love trivia.
Yeah, when you see people justlose their shit to win a trivia
round. Currently, I had a goodyear last year, a really good
year, good I've worked at fiveto six, maybe seven different

(41:03):
places in Alameda, used to workat Harbor Bay. We did that once
a month. And excuse me, privateevents. I can go to your house.
I've done events for schools.
I've done private birthdayparties. I've done professional
events in Oakland, all trivia.
When I started a preacher'sdaughter, you just meet a bunch

(41:26):
of people? Yeah, I know a ladynamed Kim Duckworth, and I know
her husband, Lynn, and Kiminvited me to try out at
ansonville Yacht Club. That'sonce a month. Is for members
only. We do it every thirdSunday of the month. So I would
do that. And people dug it. Andsometimes it's a lot of people,
sometimes not right. One night Ihad 99 people. It just happened

(41:46):
they marketed hella andeverything worked out. 100
people. The dining room and thebar era were full of Wow. One of
the managers said, Hey, Kirk,there anybody can speed this up?
There's no way I can speed thisup. I have to go to every table,
because I like as host to talkto everybody who's playing,
right, just to chat them up,tease them and make them giggle,
or get them to know me as ahost, as a person, right? I do

(42:09):
not like when teams hand overtheir work and come to me and I
scored. I like to go to thempart of the full service, right?
One night, a gentleman had adevice that looks like a phone,
but it's a video game thing.
Okay? He is a programmer, asoftware program. He said, I
cannot figure out how to playthe games on this thing. Maybe
you can, like, do your program.

(42:31):
I'm not gonna have a chance,like, just take the thing. So I
took, I still had that thing. Istill can't figure out how to do
this game thing, and I've had itfor two years. That Christmas
had the sun that Sunday, beforethat Christmas week, he was
there, and he said, Hey, Kirk,come over here. I'm like, Hey
man, what's going on? Snap, hehas me 100 bucks. I tip
everybody 100 bucks who workshere. Great service. And I love
your trivia. Yes, look me up sowe can come up with a way to

(42:56):
spread the joy that you bringwith trivia. Thanks, bro. I sure
will. He gave me his email. Ilooked him up, super software
guy. Yeah, he is not a big namein the public arena for software
guys, but he's huge. He's huge.
I'm not gonna

Siobhan (43:14):
say anything, right?
Yeah, we'll keep his privacy.
We'll keep his privacy.

Kirkland (43:18):
He sent me information on the companies that he feels
is doing good work. He is a yesand multi millionaire who
donated a million to eightcompanies who are doing good
work. He said his kids are takencare of. They're all going to
have a house and a couple ofcars. They're going to be on
their own right. Want to dosomething good for the planet,

(43:39):
and he did something good for metoo. He said, I love your trivia
so much. One time gift over 10kWow. I've been using that to add
on to people who come to playtrivia, like clubhouse drops 30
bucks for scratchers. I'vematched that and give out double
prizes. Wow. I've been giving$30 in Scratchers as prizes at

(44:01):
fireside and at every place Ihost, swell bar different
fluctuations, but I add on towhat they offer, right? I can do
that marketing for trivia. I cando that too. I did buy some
marketing materials from agraphic designer I know in
Detroit. Dude was a great guy.
He hooked it up. Yeah, so I'mtrying to do that, paying it
forward. And also that's beenhelping with, uh, certain things

(44:23):
I do need for trivial like newtabling. What have you, right?
That guy's a saint. That guy's agood dude. So I just he posted
on Reddit and a bunch of spotswhere he donated that kind of
money, right? He just said, Justthumbs up this and we'll call it
even. So I thumbs it up. That'sit. Recall it even, wow, that's
what kind of year I had lastyear. That's amazing, different,

(44:43):
because I lost preacher'sdaughter because she sold the
business, right? Why did shesell the business? That's her
business. The reason she soldthe business because she wanted
to be with her kids, right? Shewas putting in 12 and 13 hours.
Everybody who worked with herwhile she was there knew that
she was doing everything.
Ducking. They were doing right?
If she had to wash dishes, shehad to wash dishes. Had to do
some serve food prep. She had todo food prep, delivering the

(45:06):
food and doing all the papertoo. Yeah, great boss. Great
boss.

Siobhan (45:12):
She was fun to watch.
She was, yeah, she was amazing,from what I've heard, and

Kirkland (45:15):
she's super fun to just hang out with. Yeah. Have
you seen her do karaoke? No, herhusband do karaoke. I don't
think so. They are hilarious.
They can crush it.

Siobhan (45:23):
My goal is to try karaoke this year, because I've
never sang karaoke. They

Kirkland (45:28):
now have it at fireside on the first and third
Sundays. And Hobnob is excellentfor or for your warm up. If you
can Thursday nights atclubhouse, hosted by Amanda.
There's a few people there youcan relax into it. Yeah, the
karaoke community is supposed tobe people who support you if you
can sing or you can, right? It'salways fun when people who can't

(45:51):
sing act out the song, right?
That is a stream. I've seenpeople do it at Hobnob, but now
that girl can really sing, sonow that she can really sing and
she acts out the song.

Siobhan (46:01):
Nice, nice. Yep, nice.
Yeah. I don't think I can reallysing, but

Kirkland (46:06):
it's pick a song that you don't have. Yeah, there you
go. It's perfect. You only saythis word three times, tequila,

Siobhan (46:13):
that's all you do. I like for you, maybe even a
little Janis Joplin, becausethat way it's supposed to sound
kind of terrible.

Kirkland (46:19):
Yes, she could really sing. I know she could really
sing, but you could do that too.
Yep,

Siobhan (46:23):
little Mercedes Benz.
Can you mock her?

Kirkland (46:26):
Would it be mockery, or would it be homage?

Siobhan (46:30):
Slightly? Both depends on, depends on how many tequilas
and peanut butter sandwichesI've had.

Kirkland (46:36):
Let's talk about you have tequila with peanut butter?
Because I was gonna say I'malready

Siobhan (46:43):
by the thrill. Was it Mama Cass that choked on a
peanut butter sandwich? Or wasit Janice Joplin, ham sandwich?
Oh, ham sandwich.

Kirkland (46:52):
Let's look all of it up. Let's see you look up.
Joplin, I look up. Okay, Mama,cast death cause of death? Died
of a heart attack in London, twoweek run at the Palladium made
for fleshy bro from a heartattack. There were no drugs.

(47:12):
Mama Cass did not choke to deathon a ham sandwich. She had a
heart

Siobhan (47:15):
attack. Okay? Janice, overdue. Don heroin. Age 27 Oh,
she's in a 27 club, huh? Yeah.
Often side is part of the socalled 27 club. That 27 club, do
you know, off the top of yourhead, who, who's in it? Mr.
Trivia Buddy Holly. Oh, not onthis list.

Kirkland (47:37):
No. Okay, maybe he went 28 uh, Jimmy. Hendrix, yep,

Siobhan (47:45):
we had a round of this.
That's what I figured you did,20 names. Oh, this only has like
five so

Kirkland (47:52):
Jim Hendrix, Not Buddy Holly. Ricky Nelson,

Siobhan (47:59):
well, now I have to ask who else is in it, because it
only gives me five,because it gives me a couple,
but from her, all Right,Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison, Kurt,
Cobain, Amy, Winehouse, lesserbut also notable members, Brian

(48:22):
Jones from Rolling Stones,Robert Johnson, blues guitars,

Kirkland (48:30):
guitars, yeah, he sold allegedly,

Siobhan (48:33):
Richie Edwards, who's only kind of presumed dead. He's
guitarist for Manic StreetPreachers never heard of Hmm.
Ron pigeon, mckernman, foundingmember of Grateful Dead, okay.
And Kristen plaff, bassist forwhole Courtney loves Courtney

(48:54):
loves band, yeah.

Kirkland (48:56):
Courtney Love had talent, but I wonder if she was
riding the coattails before sheput her band together. I don't

Siobhan (49:03):
know. I don't know, because I don't I think she was
famous about the same time KurtCobain was and then they fell in
love after maybe she was in adifferent band, maybe different
bands. Okay, she has someskills, I thought. But our
friend Jonathan butts has madeout with her and danced with
her. Yeah, every time she comesup, he tells that story. I'd

(49:25):
brag about it. I'd brag about

Kirkland (49:26):
it too. With this was this before any work done?

Siobhan (49:29):
Yes, it was like college store. Yes.

Kirkland (49:33):
I mean, she was cute, but I mean, the work for her did
come out?

Siobhan (49:35):
Okay, yes, yeah, some people who

Kirkland (49:39):
Lisa arena, yeah, Gary Hamlet's way,

Siobhan (49:43):
yep, oh yeah,

Kirkland (49:45):
full lips. Why would she increase that? But hey, it's
her money.

Siobhan (49:50):
Her Yep. Do you think I had my lips done? Actually, did
you I did? Did ya I did? Butjust a little

Kirkland (49:56):
like a tiny dot.net, yep. When was this

Siobhan (49:59):
about? Four months ago, because I have no upper lip
usually, and then go for it.
Yeah. And someone the other day,I was saying something. They
were saying something about howno woman should ever do it.

Kirkland (50:12):
Blah, blah, blah. I can kind of tell now, but you'd
have to put some lipstick on. Ican

Siobhan (50:15):
kind of Yeah, just, but it's very light. And I said to
the girl, I don't want to belike, and she's like, looking at
me, and she's the full duck lipgoing. And I was like, you know,
I just want to be

Kirkland (50:24):
soft. I don't want to look like you. That is adorable.
Yep, young lady. But

Siobhan (50:29):
we had some because I was going to get my Botox, and
they offered it to me for, oh,inexpensive.

Kirkland (50:33):
That's different. Yes, you didn't go out there saying,
today's the day I'm living itup. No, they were

Siobhan (50:37):
like, Hey, do you want to? And I was like, I've always
wanted to, but I'm scared tobecause I don't want to look
that's totally fair. Yeah, yougave it a shot. And then I was
out talking to friends, and hewas like, oh, any woman that
does anything to her face, blah,blah, blah. And I was, again,
you mean, like a woman like me,because I do stuff to my face.
And he was like,

Kirkland (50:55):
nobody could tell, yeah, which means it's good
work, yeah? Plus you're notaddicted to it. No,

Siobhan (51:00):
I couldn't afford it to be addicted to it. Mostly my
elevens, okay, and a little inmy like, smile lines. But your
smile lines are great, yeah. Butthey get, like, a little too
deep, and then you don't evenhave How old are you? I am 4045

Kirkland (51:16):
I keep saying, 46 you ready for it to happen?

Siobhan (51:20):
I don't know why I think 45 in 45 has been a good
year right on, like it's been,it's been a wild ride. It's been
a wild life. I

Kirkland (51:28):
mean, what has changed for you this year?

Siobhan (51:33):
I am more comfortable in me, I think good, like I have
made the decision, like, I amgoing to go full force in this
I'm gonna try to make thishappen. And, you know, I keep
this week, I've actually twodifferent people come to me and
be like, well, you know, youwere, like, such an inspiration,
or you're a huge turning point,or inspired me. And someone else
was like, you know, you're hisanchor. And I was like, I Okay.

(51:56):
And I'm like, I love that. I'vehelped to, like, shift someone's
perspective and help them maketheir life better, or, like,
with Ducking reality, or justme, just me in general, yeah,
but I'm like, getting thepodcast can help do that to more
people. That's the plan. Like,yeah, yeah. But I've always been
a little like, who am I inimposter syndrome? And like,
don't want

Kirkland (52:16):
you have never said I'm a therapist. You said we're
just talking, yeah, we're justtalking. Well, because that's an
important distinction,

Siobhan (52:23):
yeah, and I think that's where people change.
Like, the conversations I've hadwith random strangers across the
bar, or sitting next to someonein the bar, or, like, I was
talking to someone about howthis woman, I was on a walk, and
she, like, came up, and we endedup taking, like, a huge two hour
walk together. Well, she wasjust talking to me about her
daughter's upcoming wedding andall the stress about it. We just
kind of, like, bullshitted ourway through it. And

Kirkland (52:43):
like, that's bullshit that was just talking and
listening Yeah, and she Yeah

Siobhan (52:47):
and like, that probably helped change her whole it does
experience and like, those are,I think, where to

Kirkland (52:52):
listen and not interrupt, and especially not
thinking about them, yeah, yeah.

Siobhan (52:57):
I think that's yeah.
And not everyone can afford orwe'll go seek it, but someone
will listen to a conversationand be like, Oh, hey. Like, if
that person went through that, Ican get through this. Or like,
oh, this doesn't have to defineme, or whatever it is, like, or,
Oh, I'm going to be in pain allthe time. I might as well learn
how to be paid in pain out inpublic, because it's not going

(53:17):
to change from being on thecouch. Like, being on the couch
does not make your pain anybetter. It does not it actually,
I think sometimes makes itworse. It depends on the level
of pain. Yeah, sometimes youhave to give in and you have to,
like, couch it.

Kirkland (53:30):
Have you had any type of romantic relationship where
the pain caused a problem? Yeah?
Me too. Me too. Yeah, my exhusband used

Siobhan (53:39):
to tell me he didn't want to tell me he didn't want
to touch me because he didn'twant to make my pain worse. And
I'm like, how about you touch meand then check in. Like, how
about you just try not to nottouch me ever, because then that
feels worse. That feels worsebecause now I feel like I'm
broken or damaged or correct,like, and that fucks me up even

Kirkland (53:56):
more. Here's another question, did he ever try to
doctor you? Not really. Did anyof your romantic partners try to
doctor you? Why don't you trythis? Why don't you try that?
Let's

Siobhan (54:06):
try this. Oh yeah, yeah. Thank

Kirkland (54:09):
you for your help, but you're not a doctor, right? The
doctors that I do have are doingthe best they can with what they
know after all their years oftraining, yep, sadly for me,
medication does help? Yeah, itdoesn't always help immediately,
but it does knock things down,right? Yeah? And I like, it's
sad and it's scary, because nowI think me being 60 is not going

(54:30):
to get any better, right, evenif the medication gets better,
but the romantic relationships,if I have a problem while we're
out,

Siobhan (54:38):
right? Well, yeah, because it gets at for. And the
other thing too is, at firstthey're okay with it. They think
they can do and they're like, Ohno, no, it's fine. It's fine.
Oh, it's almost like, cute thatyou're now in pain and we have
to take you home and take careof you. And then it's like,
again, it gets old, super fast,super fast. And then they get,
like, resentful towards it, orangry. And you're like, Yeah, I
just rather not have someonethan. Have to, like, explain to

(55:01):
you why I

Kirkland (55:01):
need to go through that right now. We had a blast
for five weeks, but I think it'sover. That sucks. I had pain
when we went out. And the worstpart is not just the pain. Some
drunk lady touched herinappropriately, and I wasn't
there to help. Oh, I think shegot so mad about that. She

(55:24):
hasn't said it, but her whole,well actually, before we that
even happened, everything kindof shifted anyway, because I was
in pain, things kind of shifted.
She said to me weeks ago, Idon't abandon people, but yeah,
it's coming. My head's ready forit. Yeah, it sucks. But you know
what? I'm not trying to putanybody through anything that's
problematic for them. Yep, wehad a good time. Yeah, sometimes

(55:44):
all I can say,

Siobhan (55:47):
sometimes I wonder if, because I haven't dated a lot,
and I've been trying to, in thelast like month or so, I've been
trying to, like, get myself backout there, and, like, I would
like to have a partner or maybea couple, thinking about the
poly thing, maybe that wouldwork for me. But I also, like,
don't want people in my house,like, when I get home and I'm
that tired and I No, no, keep iton, yeah. And I like, am like, I

(56:09):
just need to get to my tub. Ijust need to get to my heating
pad. I just need to, like, smokea whole joint to my head and not
feel this bad. And I don't wantto have to talk to you about how
I'm feeling like,

Kirkland (56:19):
Oh, my God. Do you think that you have spoiled
yourself with that self love,self care to the point where,
like, I really don't needanybody sometimes, I sometimes
think that too. Yeah, I waspraying about this. I want to
grow her, not I have one. It'slike, and now that that just
happened, it's like, I don'tneed to put anybody through
that. And she knows it's notintentional, right? But should

(56:39):
she have to go through this,right? I shouldn't phrase it
like that. If I could help mypain and not get sick, I'd never
be sick. No one would.

Siobhan (56:52):
Yeah, yeah, anything shifted, and it gets there, and
I get like, their frustration init. I understand it, but it's
also like, I can't, do youunderstand my frustration with
it? Like I can't take like, Ican't control my own body,
correct? I can't I could doeverything right, and do all of
the things I'm supposed to do,and all of a sudden, will be
angry for some reason and belike, same here, yeah, I'm just

(57:15):
not today, or I will do stuff,and I won't be like, as bright
and shiny as I always am. Andthen it's like, but you're just
why you so what's going on? I'mlike, I'm good. I'm just a
little uncomfortable today. Mypains a little higher today. But
what else? What else? What else?
What else? No, no, it's justthat. Just told you that, yeah,
are you sure that's it,

Kirkland (57:31):
do you? And you can pinpoint some reasons why it
happens, right? Oh, yeah, I havethree main reasons, stress,
what? Uh, barometric pressurechange will always cause pain.
And like I said before,something that happens to my
physical body, an outside sourcewill trigger it. Yeah, lately,
it's just been these crazyfucking weather shifts. When

(57:51):
it's super cold, something willhappen when it warms up, some
will happen, yeah, when it'ssuper hot, some will happen
super cold, some will happen.
Everything in between. Well, ifI were to live in a spot where
seasons happened. Like I grew upin Detroit, yeah, every seasonal
change would trigger something,but once that weather gets
consistent, I'm okay, right? ButI was living in a stressful
situation. When I was living inDetroit, I was always sick,

(58:12):
yeah, when I was married, I gotsick a lot. It was a stressful
situation. No matter how muchtime you try to suppress your
feelings and emotions. Makesthings worse,

Siobhan (58:21):
yep, because it seeps out in other ways. It sure. And
for us, because we deal withpain, it seeps out that way.

Kirkland (58:27):
It does seep out that way, or it explodes out that
way, or it gushes out that way,however it works. Yeah. Have you
ever had the freight train ofpain where always coming up is
here, yeah? Or the slow movingtrain of pain, yeah? If I get to
the hospital and give you thesemeds, and maybe if we time it
right, the hard pain will behere. I'll be at 11 right. The
meds will be right there, yeah,

Siobhan (58:46):
or, like, by the time I'm getting get to 11, it'll are
the meds will already be in me.
So I'll only be at 11 for likean hour, and then it'll back
down, and I can be at like aseven right before I can even
realize I'm in that much of an11. When

Kirkland (58:59):
you were in that much of an 11, how long time did you
spend in the hospital before itall went away? Oh,

Siobhan (59:06):
sometimes it depends on the case. Sometimes it was a few
hours right on. Sometimes I'd belooking at the nurse being like,
you sure you gave me stuff.
Like, what are we doing, right?
Like,

Kirkland (59:18):
would your whole body change? Like, you're crumbling
up a pain, crying and weeping orshouting, yep, it's the same
with sickle cell. It's the samething. What is the cause of your
chronic pain? Well, for a whileit was endometriosis, okay? But
then I dated a lady with thatway back in the 80s, yeah, and I
don't have a baby yet. No, youknow that will cure it

Siobhan (59:34):
well. So when I was 1718, night, I kept asking for
hysterectomy, because I'm like,so like, I had a schedule
surgically diagnosed in myfreshman year in high school.
Okay, so what do you like? 12 or13? But I had pained. I got my
period when I was like nine anda half. Oh, wow. And by 10,

Kirkland (59:53):
yeah, we're living with it, oh yeah for a solid
year, yeah.

Siobhan (59:57):
And then by the time I was like 10, i. Uh, an 11, I was
in so much pain all the timethat I had a but I think by the
time I was 12, I had aprescription for morphine,
because that's how bad my painwould be at 12 years old. Yeah,
and

Kirkland (01:00:10):
prescription, yeah, not No, five milligram
prescription, like, a 30,

Siobhan (01:00:17):
like, uh, yeah, because I would, they would just, like,
because I would get it for like13 days. So your periods usually
seven days. It can be five toseven days, but you would get
like, cramps before, crampsduring, and sometimes cramps
after. So for like 10 to 14days, I would be in terrible
pain.

You were having to rock four to five morphine pills
a day.

Siobhan (01:00:38):
And then, are we lucky?
Yeah, so lucky. And and then,like that, I said, Can I just
have a hysterectomy? Like, takeit out. I don't need to have a
baby. Like, have you seen mycousins? I have 1000 of them.
Like, I agree. I'll just stealone of them. If I have I need a
kid or I'll adopt. Adoption isgreat. Adoption is great. The
kids are out there. They needlove. You're not old enough to
make that decision, but herewe're gonna put you on hormone

(01:00:58):
blockers and all this otherstuff.

Oh, not to say, take out my lady parts. Yes, I can
have a baby, but you're gonnaput me on all this BS that can
make things worse in other partsof my life.

Siobhan (01:01:10):
Or you can have a baby.
Yeah, that was their option.
That was their option, drugs orhave a baby. So you're gonna
tell a 17 year old, I'm not oldenough to make the decision that
I don't want kids, right? But Iam old enough to make the
decision. I do want one. So youthink as 17, 1819, year old,
even I should have, inMassachusetts, it was illegal

(01:01:30):
for a woman to get ahysterectomy before the age of
26 because you might change your

mind. Who writes those laws? White men. Means, yep,
white men. White men's let's, Iwant That's right. That's
right, because they are the oneswho said Roe v Wade is wrong.
Yeah. They have no clue about awoman's physiology, nope. And
they still think they

Siobhan (01:01:50):
probably have never made their wives come, but they
think they should ever, ever.
The amount of women I know thathave not had orgasms with a
partner, even at my age, islike, I'm like, Well, you at
least have them by yourself,right? Like, and some of them
don't even still. Are like, Imean, I think so. Or like, I
they're like, I don't know if Ireally ever got there, and I
don't know. I'm like, let's goto a class that is so sad. Let's

(01:02:13):
figure

something class now, YouTube will have some Oh yeah,

Siobhan (01:02:19):
yes, that is sad. Yeah, it is. It's terrible, and

I don't know what's sad, or the fact that this
exists, or the fact that it'sgoing to keep existing, because
we are now in The Handmaid'sTale.

Siobhan (01:02:30):
Yeah, I can't watch that movie, the when the
handmade series? Yeah,

I think I got through episode center like, I'm not
gonna watch this, because it'sall coming true. Yeah,

Siobhan (01:02:39):
when it first I think this when the second season was
out, people kept talking aboutit, so I started to try to watch
it, and I was just like, Icouldn't, I couldn't sit down. I
was like, Nope, it's too real.
It's happening. Yeah? Like, andI don't understand how we're
going backwards. Yeah,

you do. You don't want to admit it. I really, I It's

Siobhan (01:02:56):
so far from the way I think I know. But you know why?
Because old white men arethreatened that the world is
just becoming more brown, gayerand and

they talk diverse people who are eligible to vote
to make sure that they get thattype of thinking into the
mainstream. But, but worse, theydon't care that it's affecting
them too, until it does affectand now they say, I didn't vote
for that, but you did. But youdid. You were warned no one
wanted to read. Did you readproject 2025,

Siobhan (01:03:27):
I started to but I was like, this is gonna have, like,
our lives are falling apart.

I've read the comic version of it so I could digest
it, smart, horrible,

Siobhan (01:03:36):
like, I read parts of it that. I was just like, if you
get it to this part, like, youhave to be, like, this whole
documents fucked, right? Andlike, we're not going to really
do this. And then I keptthinking, no one would read past
where I read, and think thatthis was a good idea, or that
there could be more good ideasin here, because, like, nothing
I read was a good idea.

You really give people a lot of credit.

Siobhan (01:03:55):
I just, I keep trying to, I don't know why.

The same thing, he kept saying he can't do that.
I'm like, Dude, we're not. We'repast that. He can't because he
is, yeah, well, you are right.
They could sue him to get him tostop. He's just gonna keep you
doing it. Yeah, and the laws aregonna take forever, and if they
do get passed through, he's justgonna appeal them or get rid of
those judges. Yep. So what do wedo? What do we do? Fight Club,
it can we fight club would haveto lead to guns. Well, I mean,

(01:04:23):
that just they blow up thebuildings. At the end of it,
there was a show calledDesignated Survivor. Did you
ever

Siobhan (01:04:29):
watch? Oh, yes, my dad used to love that show. I could

only watch the first season. I'm like, it's all it's
happening looped back. It allbecame the same shit it was when

Siobhan (01:04:37):
it started. Right?
That's the worst part. Is wehave all these, like, you know,
science fiction esque, likedystopian TV shows and movies
that are like projecting wherewe're going.

But everyone says that can't happen here. It can't
happen here, but it's happeningunder our very noses. Yeah, it's
literally happening.

Siobhan (01:04:54):
And I but I still, yeah, what the whole Alligator
Alley Alcatraz thing? Like Iwas. Like, that can never
happen. And, like, three dayslater, it was like, people are
there, people are there. And I'mlike, How are we? Like, is the
movie holes? Remember the moviewhere the kids used to just dig
ditches? Like, don't care. How?
How do you not care about a

person? Because it didn't directly happen to them,
but they're

Siobhan (01:05:15):
only moments away from it happening to them. They still
think

it's not gonna happen to him. That's one of the things
that's going on, but you don'tthink it's not

Siobhan (01:05:21):
gonna happen. Yeah, people that were voting in not
their best interest that I just

part of it is the hate. I don't want any brown
skin person or any black personor any gay person, or any blah
blah blah to have something goodthat would help me, because they
don't deserve it, becausethey're

Siobhan (01:05:38):
that, right? But how do you distill someone down to a
label?

They don't care, they just they hate to hate,

Siobhan (01:05:46):
but it's like being an asshole that takes more effort,
like

they don't care, as long as they don't get it, I
don't need it, until they doneed it, right? Look at the
floods that just happened. Yeah,it's sad. Now I have this
question they ask you traveling?
Woman, hmm, can you see movingout of this country? Yes. Do you
know where you would go? Idon't. She was like, you've got
some research? Yeah, this littleset of magnets tells me that you

(01:06:11):
are researching on the low.

Siobhan (01:06:14):
Yeah. Like, I because I've had a few friends that now
are expats and that have movedout, and they love living in
Europe, I

have a question. Are they dual citizenship or
complete expats?

Siobhan (01:06:24):
Most of them are like Visa is in on their way to dual
citizenship. Some of them arejust on work visas. Some of them
are looking into it.

Are your friends who are there? Let's say they're
there for three months andthey've been there and you're
kind of moving in thatdirection. Are those countries
move in as an expat? Lawsgetting more stringent?

Siobhan (01:06:48):
Not so far, okay, not so far. But I have heard
rumblings of things being

harder. Are any of these people black?

Siobhan (01:06:56):
No, okay, okay, no two are of Latin descent, but not
no, none of my black friendshave left this country yet.

The Latin people, what country do they choose? Two, one
is

Siobhan (01:07:11):
in Spain, and one is in I think she's in Greece. Now,
okay, but she wasn't sure whereshe was staying. Right on, she
was Greece and she was in buck,maybe Italy before that, okay?
She wasn't sure, Italy orGreece. The

reason I'm asking is because there's a lady that I
follow on YouTube and onthreads, Nicole Phillip. I think
her name a lovely, dark skinnedwoman. She and I, I think she's
a little lighter than me, okay,but she has to preface it
sometimes. She's traveled theworld. How do they treat black
women? How do they treat darkskinned black women? Where she
goes, right? She says, Columbiais the jam. Oh, dark skinned

(01:07:49):
black people. You're likeinstant their family. Nice. It
is nice. Where else could I go?
Right? But first you got tobuild up a stack of money. You
got to have some loot. You do,yeah, and because of the sickle
cell, you gotta have some kindof work because they don't want
you to move there, becausesuddenly you got the perfect
health care, right? You got todo something, yeah, contribute,

Siobhan (01:08:08):
yeah. And you have to, like, I have a friend that does.
She's in Amsterdam now, andshe's been there, I think, two
years, but she started her owncompany because she couldn't get
hired because of the work visa.
But if she started her owncompany, it was easier for her
to get a work visa to movethere, and she's working on her
citizenship

score, yeah, and what's her What does her company
do? She does grant

Siobhan (01:08:27):
writing. What? Yeah, can do that. So she did grant
writing here, but she movedthere, and she's been doing a
lot of grant writing, I think,still for the US, because that's
where most of her clients havebeen from. But she does it from
there, and that works for her,arguable,

a digital nomad, yep, killing it, yeah, kind of happy

Siobhan (01:08:44):
there, yeah, she loves it right on. She loves it. And
she

don't even smoke weed, does she? Well, they, I
understand. They changed thebars there too. They used to be
weed bars. It's not what it usedto be, but what is what it used

Siobhan (01:08:59):
to be? I will have to go and investigate, add it to my
list. But you've been therealready, right? I have I went to
Amsterdam, but not for the last20 years. Yeah, I have a cousin
that lives there. He lives parttime in Amsterdam and part time
in Portugal. How cool is that?
Yeah, he moved to Europe when wewere young, like, for his job,
and then he just never cameback, right? Yeah, his job sent

(01:09:20):
him over for like, a year ortwo, and then he met this
beautiful man, and they fell inlove, and it's been happy

and jealous. Yeah, he moved across the planet, found a
Love is life. Demo, yeah, andthey're still together.

Siobhan (01:09:35):
Yeah, they've been married 22 years now. I think I
keep saying, like, I'm comingback out to visit

you. Pause there so I can cry openly. Yeah,

Siobhan (01:09:44):
yes, please. Let me grab some

what a story. Oh, yeah, that's so good. He's

Siobhan (01:09:51):
super smart, too. He retired at 40, and we went back
to work because he was bored.
What

I have a six o'clock.
Actually, I have to be there atsix o'clock. All right, let's
wrap this up. Then, what a talk.
I know. Thank you. Thank you.
You know what I do have to dothis. More nervous about this,
because normally I starttalking, I won't shut up, and I
don't want to give all mybusiness

Siobhan (01:10:12):
away. No, but I think just really hearing your pain
and like, because you the onething I want before we wrap this
up. Okay, um, I use becausesince we talked you had your hip
surgery.

Hip surgery was in May of 2023, right? So, yeah, I'd
been on the list for four yearsbecause

Siobhan (01:10:31):
we had been talking about your pain, and how has
that helped with the sickle cellpain? Because you got kind of
rid of one pain, okay? I mean,now I know the inside baseball,
but of the other side,

here's what story with insurance. I was my last job, if
you will, was with a non profitorganization, ARBs was in
Oakland. They were headquarteredin Philadelphia. That company,
the had great insurance andgreat benefits. The insurance
company had me on their longterm disability since 2011 Oh,

(01:11:05):
wow, when everything went tohell in 2010 because I got so
sick, they had to call family infrom Detroit because they didn't
know I was going to make it. Oh,wow. Two years after that,
finally, disability, but I onlyget half a disability check
because the insurance companywas covering the rest, right?

(01:11:27):
They only covered monetary theydid not cover anything health
wise. That's why Medicare worksfor me. If the government gets
rid of Medicare, yeah. Okay, sothe hip operation. I had hip
operation in 2002 on the righthip. I was working then, so the
insurance covered that right.
When that Job was over 2008 Iwas on long term disability,

(01:11:48):
just for monetary and I get thatcheck once a month, the
disability check from the UnitedStates government that I put
into the other two Yeah, thatI've earned. Yeah, all right. So
as of two years ago, when Ifirst had to have the surgery,
they were saying, we are goingto have to cut you off because
the surgery was successful. Oh,they thought that they knew the

(01:12:12):
sickle cell caused the hipproblem because it was that in
arthritis, right? They wereleaning on more the arthritis
side of that. Now that you haveyour hip surgery, we don't have
to pay you anymore. There'sanother cut. Another company
that bought them, and they werecleaning house, so they were
closing claims, left, right andcenter. My doctor, not the
surgeon, my main doctor in SanFrancisco, General. Her name is
Robin. She wrote a 13 pageletter describing what sickle

(01:12:35):
cell is and why it's difficultfor Kirkland to work. Kirkland
looks great all the time, if youwill. Right? He dresses dapper,
blah, blah, but that does notmean he's not in pain. People
around here saw me when I was inpain before the surgery, I was
basically almost on a cane. Ididn't look right. I was on a
shit ton of meds, and I wasfaking it to do the work of
hosting trivia. When that wasover, I took the few weeks off

(01:12:57):
to recover. When I got back towork, I heard it everywhere I
went, dude, you look fantastic.
I'm glad so you're doing better.
Blah, blah, blah. The insurancecompany said you are doing
better, and if you can ride yourbike, you don't need our money.
They tried to cut me off. Wow,so that was a threat that was
happening, and somebody hookedme up with a GoFundMe thing, and

(01:13:18):
that helped me with thosemonths, because they did cut me
off. That was a $1,100 a monthgone. Sure, the trivia helps,
but it's not that much money ifI was working for it,

Siobhan (01:13:31):
right? Yeah, a lot of money you get basically

tips, like basically tips, some spots weren't paying,
but then they all startedpaying, because I became kind of
a commodity, yeah, kind of workout it did, kind of work out
that GoFundMe helped me pay formost of his medication and the
surgery, because Medicare onlycovers 80% right? Two surgeons
would not operate on me becausethey can't say it, but they were

(01:13:56):
basically saying, I'm not doingall this work for 80% of the
pay. Right? The surgeon that diddo it, he was like, This is my
first he did it. It wassuccessful. He came to my bed
post op and said, let me showyou something. This is you. Now,
you were my first patient I'veever done a hip replacement for
he said, Just fix broken armsand broken legs. And I was like,
right on, bro, yeah, I've heardtwo people that started like,

(01:14:19):
fuck that. That's some bullshit.
He should have told you thisfrom jump. I'm like, had you
been experiencing the pain Iexperienced for four years? You
would have said, I want you todo it. And you don't even have
surgical training, the pain wasso immense, yeah, and I was on
so many meds, any part in thestorm,

Siobhan (01:14:35):
yeah? You would have let me do it in the kitchen,
correct? Yep. Just

pour all the man's down my throat. Let's go, yep.
People don't understand whatchronic pain can do. This guy
knocked it out. I have not had aproblem on that hip since. The
problem is the Overcompensationon the other hip, the left hip,
because the right hip is the onethat got replaced in 2023 right
the hip got replaced in 2002maybe that hip, that ball joint,
is messed up. Or maybe the.
Musculature and the sinew fromthe conversation of walking,

(01:15:02):
cane crutch et cetera has caughtup with me. I'm living in that
pain right now as we speak, Itook minutes before we started
discussion. I'm gonna takeanother minute before I go to
work tonight.

Siobhan (01:15:14):
Yeah, I was hoping that that's what's up. You've had
some more relief, because I knowwhen I saw you right after
surgery, you were having, like,you had, like, a little golden
period where you didn't havemuch pain at all. The pain was
super we were like, it's justrecovery pain. It feels it
almost feels good. Yes, I mean,

I still try to go dancing. The pain that I'm
experiencing right now has beengoing on for the past three
weeks because the weather duringthe day, what do we got? 50,
6070,

Siobhan (01:15:38):
degree, the coldest summer San Francisco has had
since 1983

not a surprise, what's it at night between 49 degrees
and 59 degrees at night. So allthat little bumping around
barometric pressure createsweather chips, and that's the
kind of pain I'm in. That'swhat's triggering it. Yeah, if
we were having 70 degree d daysand 60 degree nights, I bet
there'd be no pain.

Siobhan (01:16:01):
No pain, no problem.
Yeah. I said to some I was atthe pool this morning, doing my
workout, and one of the women'slike, how are you today? And,
like, I could see on her face,she was like, you don't look
like you're you look like you'rehaving a rough day. And I was
just like, I just need the sun.
Like, the pools probably, likein the 70s, 60s, 70s. Like, it's

(01:16:21):
not warm, not a warm pool. No. Imean, they have a hot tub there,
sure, but the pool, like theOlympic sized swimming pool, is
not heated, so it's, it's alittle chilly, but I was just
like, I just need the sun andit, it's like, the easiest way
of saying, like, one, like, thegray days make me a little gray,
like, I have a little bit of theseasonal depression, but it's
also this weather makes my bodyhurt, right? Because it's like,

(01:16:43):
almost on the cusp of raining,like it's been sprinkling a
little less.

Where's the rain?
Yeah, if it cracks open, maybewe get some humidity, maybe
it'll warm up a little bit. Butare you living on a five right
now?

Siobhan (01:16:53):
Yeah, between a five and six. I got up the other day
from my chair and someone waslike, Are you all right? I'm
like, Uh huh. Just takes me aminute to get going, yeah, by
the time I got up and like,moving, and like, once I'm
moving, you can't tell as much,right, but the transition from
sitting to standing right islike, my

lady friend was over the other day. I went outside to
have a cigarette, and I cameback in. The pain had jumped
from a four to eight. I had tosit down. I had to sit down. The
pills were right in my pocket.
I'm like, I am in too much painto reach in my pocket, unscrew
this little cap and get this onemid. Yeah, and we still went
out. I still tried to go out. Wesaw a couple live bands. It was

(01:17:30):
fun, but I had to go and sitdown a lot. Yeah, that was not
good. It was not good. But now,now she knows, yeah. I mean, I
don't like it, but I think she'sgonna make that decision, and if
she doesn't, by the end of theweek, we still have plans to do
a couple things. We're gonna dothose things because my plans
are set, yeah, but if itfizzles, yeah, and I can do
about it, I hate that. I

Siobhan (01:17:53):
hope it doesn't fizzle.

I hope, I hope it's I can, well, we had sizzle, but I
gotta say this, if this is howit goes, it's nobody's fault,
right? It's just how it is.

Siobhan (01:18:06):
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Kirkland. I'm gonnalet you go, because you have to
go get ready for trivia. Lovetalking to you, and we'll see
you next time. Yes, all right,y'all Thank you for listening.
We're gonna

hug guys. We're hugging it out. Yes, yay.

Siobhan (01:18:20):
Thank you. All right, y'all go find some joy, and
we'll talk to you soon. We loveyou.

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