September 18, 2023 • 22 mins
Ever feel tethered to your current life by a cycle of constant wanting? You're not alone, and the truth is, that cycle could be keeping you from your ideal life.
This episode is dedicated to helping you break free and transition from wanting to having. We're taking a deep dive into why the strategies that got you to your current life aren't the key to unlocking your ideal life. Plus, I'm sharing some personal tips on how incorporating more walking into my routine has been a game-changer for me. I share insights from my recent adventures in Central America, where I witnessed first-hand the power of a simple mindset shift.
I'll also be sharing exciting news about my latest audiobook release. It's time to stop wanting and start having. Let's unlock your ideal life together and make it fast and easy.
Join me in this free upcoming Masterclass! Register NOW here:
https://www.justinwenck.com/ideallife
Check out the Audiobook Version! Get your copy NOW here 👉 engineeredtolove.com
Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!
Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!
Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.
Remember to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode! Connect with me:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the show.
Today I am talking about yourideal life and how to unlock it
faster and easier than you everthought.
Isn't it time to stop wantingand start having?
That's what today's topic isgoing to be all about.
I've got a few points that I'mgoing to go over that you're
(00:24):
going to go.
Oh shit, no wonder this is whythings haven't been going the
way that I want They've beengoing the way they've been going
.
That's what the topic is goingto be.
I've even made some notes ofwhat I want to make sure I'm
going to cover.
The three things I'm going tocover is how wanting keeps you
having your current life.
(00:44):
The second thing I'm going tobe going over is what got you
here is not going to get you towherever it is you want to go.
The third thing is you just gotto stop trying to understand
your problem and get over it.
Those are the three things I'mgoing to go over, because it's
time to start having and stopwanting.
(01:05):
I'm going to be sharingsomething really special with
you at the end on how you canunlock your ideal life way way
easier than you ever thoughtpossible Before that.
We'll update on what's beengoing on with me.
The audiobook release, thelaunch celebration, went really,
(01:25):
really well.
Super excited by how it went.
I already have one review fivestar across the board.
Just super happy with thequality, the content and my
voice, which is really cool.
Which is really cool because Inarrate the audiobook the
engineer to love.
Going beyond success,fulfillment using tools to relax
, recharge and reconnect.
That's available wherever youget audiobooks, whether that's
(01:47):
audible audiobookcom, your Applestore or your Google store,
wherever it is.
I encourage you to go checkthat out.
I'm very happy.
That went really really well.
The other thing is, for a monthwas traveling around in Central
America.
We did four podcasts remotelyand been back now for the last
two, two and a half weeks.
(02:08):
It's always interesting goingaway for such a long time, such
a transformative trip whereseeing new ways of doing things,
meeting new people, beingimmersed in other cultures and
just living a completelydifferent life.
Then coming back and it's like,okay, how do I integrate in all
the good stuff into this life?
(02:29):
Because a lot of times I'vebeen really trying to watch
myself and saying, oh, finallygetting back to normal.
It's like fuck that normal, Idon't want that fucking normal.
If I wanted that fucking normal.
I would have just stayed in itReally been trying to work on
rephrasing it into like okay,finally getting things situated
(02:50):
the way I would like them to be.
Now it's a little bit of howI'm phrasing.
Could you use some work If yougot some ideas, I do encourage
you to maybe let me know in thecomments of where we maybe found
the social media posts for this, or send me an email.
Podcast at justinwinkcom.
Otherwise, you can slide intomy direct messages, justinwink,
phd, on all your greater socialmedia platforms, except not
(03:12):
doing Twitter and still haven'tgotten onto threads yet.
As part of that, one of thethings was like this was kind of
on my radar before I even wenton the trip was my lease of
where I live was going to beending at the month of September
.
It's now the beginning ofSeptember.
When I got back at the end ofAugust I was like shit, what am
(03:33):
I going to do?
Find a new place?
How is this going to work?
An interesting thing kind ofhappened because one of the main
things that I really wasinterested in as far as the
physicality of the place to livewas a nicer bathroom.
I kind of love my place.
It's two bedrooms.
One of those bedrooms I use anoffice that lets me see the
ocean, and when the whales aregoing by, that's really fucking
(03:56):
sweet.
One of the things that is likethe bathroom is teeny tiny.
I'm not a big guy, not a bigguy.
There's a tub.
There's at least a tub.
Lessonless places have a tubnowadays.
Anyway, yeah, this tub I canonly fit half of my body.
It's here like I'm getting mylegs wet.
I'm getting my upper body wetnot too much of both at the same
time.
It would have been nice to havea nicer bathroom.
(04:19):
There are some other thingsthat would have been great too,
like maybe a little bit morewalkable, a little bit easier
beach access or something likethat.
What I found interesting when Istarted getting back and
integrating some of the thingsthat I was doing before on the
trip versus how I had been whenI'm on the trip.
It's like I'm walking togrocery stores, walking to get
(04:40):
things to eat, all sorts ofstuff, and I'm going on more
adventures, and over the pastfew weeks I kind of just started
to do that here.
It's not like that anythingcould have stopped me, except
that I just wasn't in the habit,so like I would just drive to
the local yoga studio, justdrive to a local grocery store,
(05:00):
just drive to the local coffeeshop or just drive to a place to
hike.
And over the last two weeksI've decided, like you know what
, I'm just going to walk to thatand it's been interesting, like
the yoga studio.
It's an extra five minutesinstead of and that's it.
But I get the exercise and thewalk and the fresh air and a
(05:21):
little bit of nature and samething with, like, the restaurant
, and it's been kind ofinteresting with the hiking too.
If the whole point is to bewalking more, why spend the time
driving when I could just walkand some great trails start in
just a little bit or five or 10minutes.
So why waste five minutesdriving when I could be doing 10
minutes of walking, when I'mwanting to walk and be outside
(05:45):
anyway?
So why do I tell you this?
When I'm was initially talkingabout finding a new place to
live, it's that I got the noticeand I was like I don't know if
I really like that new rent andthe six month requirement was
kind of weird.
They didn't want me to lock infor a year and I said, hey, what
(06:05):
if I just kept my same rent andwent month to month.
So basically, I'm just askingfor nothing to change.
And they raised the rent andwanted six month commitment.
And he was like, yeah, verylikely going to happen, no
problem, let me get back to you.
And I got back there I was justbasically like, well, whatever
we were going to ask for the sixmonth commitment, we'll give it
(06:27):
to you month to month.
So now, if you do want toswitch, if there does become a
unit available here, you canjust keep that same rent, even
though likely somebody comingoff the street they have to pay
a couple of few hundred dollarsmore per month.
So effectively, I kind ofalready have a new place, it
feels like, and I don't reallyhave to pay that much more.
And if there does end up beinga new place that does have that
(06:48):
really awesome bathroom orsomething that I wanted, I can
just move to that whenever itbecomes available, if that ends
up working out.
So all that to say that it'sinteresting.
So a lot of it's just beingopen to not doing things the way
that they were done beforehand.
And so you know, this doesn'thave to just be with a trip.
(07:09):
This could be with anything youdo, to go and grow yourself, as
how can you be open to doingthings differently, seeing in a
new light?
So this could be going to aseminar.
Maybe you read a book, maybeyou met somebody new.
I'm sometimes just I find thisvery interesting.
When I meet new people have likereally cool, powerful
(07:29):
connections and some people justthey don't really.
They don't want to open theirlife to having new powerful
connections because it disruptstheir life and they just can't
seem to find a way.
They're too busy to.
You know, meet for an hour or acup of coffee with somebody
like you had a really goodconnection, really awesome,
beautiful, whatever with.
(07:49):
I don't really take thatpersonally anymore because I
know just not everybody is upfor that or wanting that in
their life.
But I'm as somebody who'slistening to the show.
You're somebody that's not likethe typical person out there.
You're looking to expand yourworld, you're looking to do more
, you're looking for a morepowerful, impactful life.
If you're not, then why thefuck are you listening to me,
(08:11):
right?
So if you do meet somebody likereally amazing, wherever, do
take that little time to open upsome space in your life to
reconnecting with them.
You just, you know that onehour, maybe every two weeks,
every four weeks or something,and you might go like I'm busy.
Well, I, like in the book, Isay fuck busyness, embrace
(08:35):
humanist humaneness, what itbasically means.
There's a lack of priority inyour life.
If you just met somebody superamazing, you don't have time for
them.
You're basically tellingyourself I don't have time for
what I've been asking for, whichis going to lead into the main
topic that we're here to talkabout what in your life needs to
(08:55):
go?
What do you need to go?
Hey, this is not important.
Could be a, could be arelationship, could be an
activity, or could just be someother time waster, like you know
on Facebook or maybe the news,or maybe just you know eating or
whatever it is you just startlooking like where's your time
going?
And when something amazingcomes in and you're not going to
(09:17):
make time for that, especiallyif maybe that amazing person,
place or thing is making it soeasy for you and you're saying
no.
So this brings me to the topicof the day.
Is you know, would you like tohave your idea life and are you
tired of just wanting?
Are you ready to start having?
So I mean seriously, because ifyou're not Just stop listening,
(09:42):
just stop watching, just stop,just stop Go, do, go, do
anything else.
But if you are really like I'mJustin, I'm fucking done with
going on the hamster wheel againand again of like, ah, I'm
finally gonna get my health intothe state that I want it to be.
I'm finally gonna like get therelationship Romantically in the
(10:02):
way that I've always wanted,whether it's meeting that person
or maybe already have thatperson.
Yet Maybe you've lostconnection, or maybe you just
realized the connection reallywasn't what you always wanted in
the first place.
Or maybe it's sick.
Your career, your impact in theworld.
There's just something likeyou're successful, you're making
good money, but yet there'sjust something like, oh, is this
really all?
There is just making this money, but how the fuck am I making
(10:26):
it?
What's?
What impact may I leave on theworld?
Or maybe there's just somethingyou want to create just for the
sake of creation.
Maybe there's a book you wantto put out there.
Like I put out a book alreadyand I'm I've got, I've got ideas
for another one.
I've already actually writtenthe first chapter of another
book.
Uh, we're not going to get intothat now.
So there's probably somethingthat you're just like ah, it's,
(10:46):
something's missing, there'sjust something not quite right,
and many successful people findthemselves in the situation I
know I have in the past and Ihave some very important things
that are probably not helpingyou out, and so the first of
those is Basically this ideathat wanting is what's keeping
you in your current life soeffectively.
(11:08):
If you're just wanting somethingthat's basically adjacent to
the neighborhood of complainingand complaining Is such a
fantastic way to keep thefriends and the family having
your life and stay connected, um, through basically just
bitching about what you don'thave and so, even if something
good does come up, you might beamazed at how you just find ways
(11:32):
to let it slip.
Because if you actually had itand then the rest of the people
in your peer group didn't,you're gonna be like the weirdo
in that peer group.
If you actually won the lotteryand you kept that money and you
turned it even more money andeveryone else was the same
socioeconomic status, they'regonna feel like uncomfortable,
(11:54):
like they became part of yourworld because they were part of
that world when you didn't havethe money, you didn't have the
success.
If you change your level ofsuccess In whatever area.
So maybe you're just successfulwith Dollars, yet your complete
shit show in other areas ofyour life.
I'm gonna guess.
Probably you have friends thatone way or the other, support
(12:16):
this.
Maybe they put on the same showlike you do.
Like you know, come new years,it's oh, let's go to the gym and
you put in a half-ass attempt,but ultimately, you know, come
november, december, you're fivepounds heavier than you were the
previous year and you just havethe same goal.
So If all you do is want it'sreally allowing you to keep and
(12:38):
have the life that you have, andthe point is you got to stop
doing that.
And you might be like, how dowe do that?
I'm going to tell you away whenI get to the end of this
episode.
Um, and it's don't, don't worry, it's not going to cost you
anything.
Yeah, but just keep thesethings in mind and you can
always Just stop doing thesethings.
You don't need you don't needme to do it.
(13:00):
There's lots of ways that youcan stop doing these things.
The second, the second thing isthis concept of what got you
here?
Is it going to get you there?
So Think of it like you have asuper sports car that got you
from New York to California.
That's basically how you got towhere you are in your life now.
(13:20):
It was probably an awesome ride.
Maybe there were somechallenges.
It was probably really long.
It was challenging.
Maybe you almost fell asleepand hurt yourself.
Maybe the car even broke downat times because it's a sports
car and a little finicky.
You were just redlining becauseyou wanted to get there as soon
as possible, but the harder youdrove it, the more likely you
(13:41):
were to run into something orsomething was going to break
down.
The point is, you're inCalifornia, I live in California
, I love California, butCalifornia is not necessarily
the Beale Indole, especially ifyou're like me and you like some
palm trees and some coconutsand shit like that and beaches
where the water is actually warm.
(14:02):
So maybe now you want to go toHawaii.
That's okay.
That's the part of life ishaving these new desires and to
go for them and get a taste ofit and bring them to reality.
And then you do the whole thingover again.
Yet the problem is we think whatgot us here is going to get us
there.
So that sports car.
Last I checked there's nobridge to Hawaii.
(14:24):
This isn't the world of BojackHorsemen, where they built the
bridge to Hawaii.
It's not going to go well, it'snot going to get you there at
all.
In fact, you're probably goingto get a little distance and
then you're going to bewaterlogged and you're going to
get your car fixed.
So, if you're lucky, maybe yourealize that you need a boat.
Yet there's other ways to getplaces, and I'm here saying I'm
(14:49):
at the end of this, going totell you about the jet plane
that will get you fromCalifornia to Hawaii Super,
super fast, super, super easy.
Yet again, I'm not here to makeyou do anything.
So if you want to stay in yourboat, that's great too.
Or if you want to keep doingthe car method, cool, but to me
(15:09):
I don't get it.
Come jump on the plane.
I'm captain of the friendlyskies here.
Let's go, let's have some fun,let's go do this together.
It's going to be really fuckingawesome.
So what got you here isn'tgoing to get you there.
So, also tied into this concept,the second point I want to make
is how do you feel about yourcurrent life?
(15:30):
Now, I'm guessing there couldbe some fear, maybe some
obligations, like you're doingsome things just because you
feel like you're half to, you'resupposed to.
That's what you signed up to inthe relationship, the job,
whatever.
Or maybe there's a little bitof guilt or shame.
That do you really deserve?
Do you really deserve any morethan you have?
(15:51):
And so you just keep doingbecause it just feels like
you're supposed to and to wantor do anything different.
There's maybe something badabout it Nothing, nothing.
I'm gonna guess that maybe thepath that got you to where you
are had a lot of that, thosesame feelings, where it was
fueled by fear, obligation,guilt.
(16:11):
This is the fog that I talkabout in my book, and that's how
I got a lot of my earlysuccesses, too was like, oh fuck
, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have tolike live with my parents if I'm
not, if I don't get a good joband make money.
I don't want that.
So I better.
I better make sure I do good inschool and better make sure I
didn't get in my job.
And then, okay, I better not doanything like too weird.
(16:32):
I better not like start apodcast or fuck like do social
media posts where I talk aboutmy family or talk about my life
or talk about what I want or mychallenge is I better not do
that.
That's like just not right.
That bring a lot of shame ontothe family.
So you probably did have a lotof fear, obligation, guilt and
(16:52):
maybe anxiety, depression andall that sort of stuff that got
you on your path to where youare now, and Maybe you have a
lot of stuff still.
So sometimes how we got to oneplace is what it's gonna feel
like when we get there, and sodo you actually want to have a
life of more fear, obligation,guilt, or does your ideal life
look like there's a lot more joy, like fun, excitement, like
(17:15):
growth?
You know amazing people likefriendships, connection, like
love, romance.
So if that's what your ideallook life looks like, maybe the
way you get there is gonnainvolve a lot of that too.
Less of the old stuff, more ofthe new stuff.
I don't know.
That might be a little bit of apart of what what I'm you
(17:37):
talking about here later.
The third thing is so much ofhow people live their lives.
How you've been living yourlife, is focused on your
problems, and how are you gonnasolve the problem?
How are you gonna solve theproblem of health?
How are you gonna solve theproblem of even more money, how
you gonna solve the problem,having impact on how you gonna
solve the problem of having theright people in your life right?
(17:58):
And when you're so busy tryingto understand the problem,
you're still underneath it,you're still being weighed down,
when really it's all aboutgetting over the problem and
just getting beyond it andgetting into that world of yeah,
what, what's the point of this?
How do I feel?
What am I doing?
What is this enable?
Like, whom I impacting?
(18:19):
Like getting over it.
And Again, this also leads tohaving the feelings that are
associated with that now andusing that as the vehicle, the
vehicle to get you to your ideallife.
So there's the life you havenow, which I'm sure there's a
lot of great stuff.
I'm not saying that you got togive up any of that.
What I'm saying is give up thestuff that's not working and
(18:41):
let's put in the stuff that doeswork.
And you're probably Justin what, what, what works like.
And that's the whole point of Igot an upcoming offering.
It's free.
This is a hundred dollaroffering, I think 97.
I'm offering a completely free,and so when this comes out, you
(19:02):
should still be able toregister for it.
Live, I'm gonna be having itSeptember 20th at noon Pacific.
Yet if you're like watchingthis late or you know you missed
it, I'm gonna make therecording available for free for
seven days too, because the endof the year is Almost up and I
don't want you to end up thisyear like you did last year,
where it's like, oh fuck, I justmarginally got like a little
(19:25):
bit better, but ultimately thethings that really matter mate
to me.
I Didn't even move the needle.
It's like this year is like thelast year.
Just I'm one year older.
When you're closer to wheneverI'm gonna die.
Let's get real.
Let's get real.
Every year that goes by, that'sone last year.
You have to live the life thatyou could be having, that ideal
life, and I Live too many yearslike that and I've known too
(19:48):
many people and, if you know now, had too many people die in my
life.
You know my grandmother thispast year, my mom the last year
that I really I just don't wantyou or anyone you care about.
So that's why I'm gonna beshowing you a super simple,
super straightforward techniqueof how to actually start having
(20:08):
and stop wanting, and it'scalled the unlock your ideal
life 10x faster and easiermasterclass and you just go to
Justin winkcom slash Ideal life.
So just a winkcom slash ideallife register for free.
Again, even if I can nestedlive, it's gonna be live
September 20th I.
(20:28):
And again, this is alsoavailable in my book too, so you
could just get my book and Iteach the same technique in the
book.
I'm not going to tell you whichexact ones, because it's going
to be half of the fun.
So, for even less than gettingmy book on Kindle for absolutely
(20:50):
free, I'm going to teach youone of the techniques, and the
thing is for me is like Icontinue to grow, I continue to
evolve, and so the way I'm goingto be teaching this and giving
this to you is going to be evenbetter than how it was in the
book.
So you're just not going tomiss this, even if you do
already have the book and you'vedone all of the exercises,
which thank you so much.
(21:10):
That is so fucking cool.
Yet even if you don't, this isnot.
I have enough book sales.
I don't need.
I don't need anymore.
I really don't.
It's done what it was meant todo.
I'm very happy I did it.
I'm on to helping, connectingwith more people, helping them
have their ideal life, causewhen more people have their
ideal life like, it just makesthe world a better fucking place
(21:32):
.
Like you know, I'm still alittle bit optimistic, even
though I'm incredibly pragmaticand nuts and bolts, like I only
do stuff that works and thistechnique that helps you,
basically, you know, get overyour problems, have a new
vehicle to get to where you wantto go and get you out of the
mode of wanting Like you I callit.
(21:52):
You know, 10 X faster andeasier to unlock your ideal life
.
And it's.
It's one of those like well,the faster part that that could
technically be quantifiableCause maybe you know, maybe
you've lost 10 pounds before andyou know like, oh, that took me
, that, that took me 10 weeks.
So you're telling me this isgoing to take me one week.
I this is more on the, the, theeasier part, which is a little
(22:13):
bit more qualitative thanquantitative, and qualitatively
the easiness is off the charts.
So I feel very comfortabledoing the, the 10 X faster and
easier.
So we're, you know, for rexing.
So maybe it still only takesyou 10 weeks.
Shit, maybe it.
Maybe it takes you twice aslong to learn that 10 pounds.
But if it was.
But if it's a hundred timeseasier and took twice as long,
uh, isn't that, isn't that a nobrainer?
(22:36):
Wouldn't you want a hundredtimes easier?
Like, just, it just feels likeit happens easily, magically,
and that's that's what I'm goingto be teaching in this
masterclass, totally free.
And again, you know a hint, ifyou can't wait, it's in the it's
in the it's in the book.
It's one of the chapters, oneof the exercises in my book.
But again, you don't need to dothe book, cause I'm going to do
this for free and you don'teven have to worry about like,
oh, can I make it?
(22:57):
Not make it, although if youmake it live, you get to ask
questions, uh, which can alwaysbe a little bit more valuable.
Yet you're probably also one ofthose types of people that, like
, you're going to figure it outand you're going to nail it,
knock it.
I don't know, I'm not good atsports ball.
You're going to do great.
So, with that, I do thank youfor listening and I really do
want you to stop wanting andstart having.
(23:17):
But I want you to have yourideal life and I wish you have
it fast and easy, cause, if it'spossible, why not do it, you
deserve it.
Uh, just because you want it,you really don't need much more
reason than that.
So with that I thank you andgood day.
Welcome to the show.
Today I am talking about yourideal life and how to unlock it
faster and easier than you everthought.
Isn't it time to stop wantingand start having?
That's what today's topic isgoing to be all about.
I've got a few points that I'mgoing to go over that you're
(00:24):
going to go.
Oh shit, no wonder this is whythings haven't been going the
way that I want They've beengoing the way they've been going
.
That's what the topic is goingto be.
I've even made some notes ofwhat I want to make sure I'm
going to cover.
The three things I'm going tocover is how wanting keeps you
having your current life.
(00:44):
The second thing I'm going tobe going over is what got you
here is not going to get you towherever it is you want to go.
The third thing is you just gotto stop trying to understand
your problem and get over it.
Those are the three things I'mgoing to go over, because it's
time to start having and stopwanting.
(01:05):
I'm going to be sharingsomething really special with
you at the end on how you canunlock your ideal life way way
easier than you ever thoughtpossible Before that.
We'll update on what's beengoing on with me.
The audiobook release, thelaunch celebration, went really,
(01:25):
really well.
Super excited by how it went.
I already have one review fivestar across the board.
Just super happy with thequality, the content and my
voice, which is really cool.
Which is really cool because Inarrate the audiobook the
engineer to love.
Going beyond success,fulfillment using tools to relax
, recharge and reconnect.
That's available wherever youget audiobooks, whether that's
(01:47):
audible audiobookcom, your Applestore or your Google store,
wherever it is.
I encourage you to go checkthat out.
I'm very happy.
That went really really well.
The other thing is, for a monthwas traveling around in Central
America.
We did four podcasts remotelyand been back now for the last
two, two and a half weeks.
(02:08):
It's always interesting goingaway for such a long time, such
a transformative trip whereseeing new ways of doing things,
meeting new people, beingimmersed in other cultures and
just living a completelydifferent life.
Then coming back and it's like,okay, how do I integrate in all
the good stuff into this life?
(02:29):
Because a lot of times I'vebeen really trying to watch
myself and saying, oh, finallygetting back to normal.
It's like fuck that normal, Idon't want that fucking normal.
If I wanted that fucking normal.
I would have just stayed in itReally been trying to work on
rephrasing it into like okay,finally getting things situated
(02:50):
the way I would like them to be.
Now it's a little bit of howI'm phrasing.
Could you use some work If yougot some ideas, I do encourage
you to maybe let me know in thecomments of where we maybe found
the social media posts for this, or send me an email.
Podcast at justinwinkcom.
Otherwise, you can slide intomy direct messages, justinwink,
phd, on all your greater socialmedia platforms, except not
(03:12):
doing Twitter and still haven'tgotten onto threads yet.
As part of that, one of thethings was like this was kind of
on my radar before I even wenton the trip was my lease of
where I live was going to beending at the month of September
.
It's now the beginning ofSeptember.
When I got back at the end ofAugust I was like shit, what am
(03:33):
I going to do?
Find a new place?
How is this going to work?
An interesting thing kind ofhappened because one of the main
things that I really wasinterested in as far as the
physicality of the place to livewas a nicer bathroom.
I kind of love my place.
It's two bedrooms.
One of those bedrooms I use anoffice that lets me see the
ocean, and when the whales aregoing by, that's really fucking
(03:56):
sweet.
One of the things that is likethe bathroom is teeny tiny.
I'm not a big guy, not a bigguy.
There's a tub.
There's at least a tub.
Lessonless places have a tubnowadays.
Anyway, yeah, this tub I canonly fit half of my body.
It's here like I'm getting mylegs wet.
I'm getting my upper body wetnot too much of both at the same
time.
It would have been nice to havea nicer bathroom.
(04:19):
There are some other thingsthat would have been great too,
like maybe a little bit morewalkable, a little bit easier
beach access or something likethat.
What I found interesting when Istarted getting back and
integrating some of the thingsthat I was doing before on the
trip versus how I had been whenI'm on the trip.
It's like I'm walking togrocery stores, walking to get
(04:40):
things to eat, all sorts ofstuff, and I'm going on more
adventures, and over the pastfew weeks I kind of just started
to do that here.
It's not like that anythingcould have stopped me, except
that I just wasn't in the habit,so like I would just drive to
the local yoga studio, justdrive to a local grocery store,
(05:00):
just drive to the local coffeeshop or just drive to a place to
hike.
And over the last two weeksI've decided, like you know what
, I'm just going to walk to thatand it's been interesting, like
the yoga studio.
It's an extra five minutesinstead of and that's it.
But I get the exercise and thewalk and the fresh air and a
(05:21):
little bit of nature and samething with, like, the restaurant
, and it's been kind ofinteresting with the hiking too.
If the whole point is to bewalking more, why spend the time
driving when I could just walkand some great trails start in
just a little bit or five or 10minutes.
So why waste five minutesdriving when I could be doing 10
minutes of walking, when I'mwanting to walk and be outside
(05:45):
anyway?
So why do I tell you this?
When I'm was initially talkingabout finding a new place to
live, it's that I got the noticeand I was like I don't know if
I really like that new rent andthe six month requirement was
kind of weird.
They didn't want me to lock infor a year and I said, hey, what
(06:05):
if I just kept my same rent andwent month to month.
So basically, I'm just askingfor nothing to change.
And they raised the rent andwanted six month commitment.
And he was like, yeah, verylikely going to happen, no
problem, let me get back to you.
And I got back there I was justbasically like, well, whatever
we were going to ask for the sixmonth commitment, we'll give it
(06:27):
to you month to month.
So now, if you do want toswitch, if there does become a
unit available here, you canjust keep that same rent, even
though likely somebody comingoff the street they have to pay
a couple of few hundred dollarsmore per month.
So effectively, I kind ofalready have a new place, it
feels like, and I don't reallyhave to pay that much more.
And if there does end up beinga new place that does have that
(06:48):
really awesome bathroom orsomething that I wanted, I can
just move to that whenever itbecomes available, if that ends
up working out.
So all that to say that it'sinteresting.
So a lot of it's just beingopen to not doing things the way
that they were done beforehand.
And so you know, this doesn'thave to just be with a trip.
(07:09):
This could be with anything youdo, to go and grow yourself, as
how can you be open to doingthings differently, seeing in a
new light?
So this could be going to aseminar.
Maybe you read a book, maybeyou met somebody new.
I'm sometimes just I find thisvery interesting.
When I meet new people have likereally cool, powerful
(07:29):
connections and some people justthey don't really.
They don't want to open theirlife to having new powerful
connections because it disruptstheir life and they just can't
seem to find a way.
They're too busy to.
You know, meet for an hour or acup of coffee with somebody
like you had a really goodconnection, really awesome,
beautiful, whatever with.
(07:49):
I don't really take thatpersonally anymore because I
know just not everybody is upfor that or wanting that in
their life.
But I'm as somebody who'slistening to the show.
You're somebody that's not likethe typical person out there.
You're looking to expand yourworld, you're looking to do more
, you're looking for a morepowerful, impactful life.
If you're not, then why thefuck are you listening to me,
(08:11):
right?
So if you do meet somebody likereally amazing, wherever, do
take that little time to open upsome space in your life to
reconnecting with them.
You just, you know that onehour, maybe every two weeks,
every four weeks or something,and you might go like I'm busy.
Well, I, like in the book, Isay fuck busyness, embrace
(08:35):
humanist humaneness, what itbasically means.
There's a lack of priority inyour life.
If you just met somebody superamazing, you don't have time for
them.
You're basically tellingyourself I don't have time for
what I've been asking for, whichis going to lead into the main
topic that we're here to talkabout what in your life needs to
(08:55):
go?
What do you need to go?
Hey, this is not important.
Could be a, could be arelationship, could be an
activity, or could just be someother time waster, like you know
on Facebook or maybe the news,or maybe just you know eating or
whatever it is you just startlooking like where's your time
going?
And when something amazingcomes in and you're not going to
(09:17):
make time for that, especiallyif maybe that amazing person,
place or thing is making it soeasy for you and you're saying
no.
So this brings me to the topicof the day.
Is you know, would you like tohave your idea life and are you
tired of just wanting?
Are you ready to start having?
So I mean seriously, because ifyou're not Just stop listening,
(09:42):
just stop watching, just stop,just stop Go, do, go, do
anything else.
But if you are really like I'mJustin, I'm fucking done with
going on the hamster wheel againand again of like, ah, I'm
finally gonna get my health intothe state that I want it to be.
I'm finally gonna like get therelationship Romantically in the
(10:02):
way that I've always wanted,whether it's meeting that person
or maybe already have thatperson.
Yet Maybe you've lostconnection, or maybe you just
realized the connection reallywasn't what you always wanted in
the first place.
Or maybe it's sick.
Your career, your impact in theworld.
There's just something likeyou're successful, you're making
good money, but yet there'sjust something like, oh, is this
really all?
There is just making this money, but how the fuck am I making
(10:26):
it?
What's?
What impact may I leave on theworld?
Or maybe there's just somethingyou want to create just for the
sake of creation.
Maybe there's a book you wantto put out there.
Like I put out a book alreadyand I'm I've got, I've got ideas
for another one.
I've already actually writtenthe first chapter of another
book.
Uh, we're not going to get intothat now.
So there's probably somethingthat you're just like ah, it's,
(10:46):
something's missing, there'sjust something not quite right,
and many successful people findthemselves in the situation I
know I have in the past and Ihave some very important things
that are probably not helpingyou out, and so the first of
those is Basically this ideathat wanting is what's keeping
you in your current life soeffectively.
(11:08):
If you're just wanting somethingthat's basically adjacent to
the neighborhood of complainingand complaining Is such a
fantastic way to keep thefriends and the family having
your life and stay connected, um, through basically just
bitching about what you don'thave and so, even if something
good does come up, you might beamazed at how you just find ways
(11:32):
to let it slip.
Because if you actually had itand then the rest of the people
in your peer group didn't,you're gonna be like the weirdo
in that peer group.
If you actually won the lotteryand you kept that money and you
turned it even more money andeveryone else was the same
socioeconomic status, they'regonna feel like uncomfortable,
(11:54):
like they became part of yourworld because they were part of
that world when you didn't havethe money, you didn't have the
success.
If you change your level ofsuccess In whatever area.
So maybe you're just successfulwith Dollars, yet your complete
shit show in other areas ofyour life.
I'm gonna guess.
Probably you have friends thatone way or the other, support
(12:16):
this.
Maybe they put on the same showlike you do.
Like you know, come new years,it's oh, let's go to the gym and
you put in a half-ass attempt,but ultimately, you know, come
november, december, you're fivepounds heavier than you were the
previous year and you just havethe same goal.
So If all you do is want it'sreally allowing you to keep and
(12:38):
have the life that you have, andthe point is you got to stop
doing that.
And you might be like, how dowe do that?
I'm going to tell you away whenI get to the end of this
episode.
Um, and it's don't, don't worry, it's not going to cost you
anything.
Yeah, but just keep thesethings in mind and you can
always Just stop doing thesethings.
You don't need you don't needme to do it.
(13:00):
There's lots of ways that youcan stop doing these things.
The second, the second thing isthis concept of what got you
here?
Is it going to get you there?
So Think of it like you have asuper sports car that got you
from New York to California.
That's basically how you got towhere you are in your life now.
(13:20):
It was probably an awesome ride.
Maybe there were somechallenges.
It was probably really long.
It was challenging.
Maybe you almost fell asleepand hurt yourself.
Maybe the car even broke downat times because it's a sports
car and a little finicky.
You were just redlining becauseyou wanted to get there as soon
as possible, but the harder youdrove it, the more likely you
(13:41):
were to run into something orsomething was going to break
down.
The point is, you're inCalifornia, I live in California
, I love California, butCalifornia is not necessarily
the Beale Indole, especially ifyou're like me and you like some
palm trees and some coconutsand shit like that and beaches
where the water is actually warm.
(14:02):
So maybe now you want to go toHawaii.
That's okay.
That's the part of life ishaving these new desires and to
go for them and get a taste ofit and bring them to reality.
And then you do the whole thingover again.
Yet the problem is we think whatgot us here is going to get us
there.
So that sports car.
Last I checked there's nobridge to Hawaii.
(14:24):
This isn't the world of BojackHorsemen, where they built the
bridge to Hawaii.
It's not going to go well, it'snot going to get you there at
all.
In fact, you're probably goingto get a little distance and
then you're going to bewaterlogged and you're going to
get your car fixed.
So, if you're lucky, maybe yourealize that you need a boat.
Yet there's other ways to getplaces, and I'm here saying I'm
(14:49):
at the end of this, going totell you about the jet plane
that will get you fromCalifornia to Hawaii Super,
super fast, super, super easy.
Yet again, I'm not here to makeyou do anything.
So if you want to stay in yourboat, that's great too.
Or if you want to keep doingthe car method, cool, but to me
(15:09):
I don't get it.
Come jump on the plane.
I'm captain of the friendlyskies here.
Let's go, let's have some fun,let's go do this together.
It's going to be really fuckingawesome.
So what got you here isn'tgoing to get you there.
So, also tied into this concept,the second point I want to make
is how do you feel about yourcurrent life?
(15:30):
Now, I'm guessing there couldbe some fear, maybe some
obligations, like you're doingsome things just because you
feel like you're half to, you'resupposed to.
That's what you signed up to inthe relationship, the job,
whatever.
Or maybe there's a little bitof guilt or shame.
That do you really deserve?
Do you really deserve any morethan you have?
(15:51):
And so you just keep doingbecause it just feels like
you're supposed to and to wantor do anything different.
There's maybe something badabout it Nothing, nothing.
I'm gonna guess that maybe thepath that got you to where you
are had a lot of that, thosesame feelings, where it was
fueled by fear, obligation,guilt.
(16:11):
This is the fog that I talkabout in my book, and that's how
I got a lot of my earlysuccesses, too was like, oh fuck
, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have tolike live with my parents if I'm
not, if I don't get a good joband make money.
I don't want that.
So I better.
I better make sure I do good inschool and better make sure I
didn't get in my job.
And then, okay, I better not doanything like too weird.
(16:32):
I better not like start apodcast or fuck like do social
media posts where I talk aboutmy family or talk about my life
or talk about what I want or mychallenge is I better not do
that.
That's like just not right.
That bring a lot of shame ontothe family.
So you probably did have a lotof fear, obligation, guilt and
(16:52):
maybe anxiety, depression andall that sort of stuff that got
you on your path to where youare now, and Maybe you have a
lot of stuff still.
So sometimes how we got to oneplace is what it's gonna feel
like when we get there, and sodo you actually want to have a
life of more fear, obligation,guilt, or does your ideal life
look like there's a lot more joy, like fun, excitement, like
(17:15):
growth?
You know amazing people likefriendships, connection, like
love, romance.
So if that's what your ideallook life looks like, maybe the
way you get there is gonnainvolve a lot of that too.
Less of the old stuff, more ofthe new stuff.
I don't know.
That might be a little bit of apart of what what I'm you
(17:37):
talking about here later.
The third thing is so much ofhow people live their lives.
How you've been living yourlife, is focused on your
problems, and how are you gonnasolve the problem?
How are you gonna solve theproblem of health?
How are you gonna solve theproblem of even more money, how
you gonna solve the problem,having impact on how you gonna
solve the problem of having theright people in your life right?
(17:58):
And when you're so busy tryingto understand the problem,
you're still underneath it,you're still being weighed down,
when really it's all aboutgetting over the problem and
just getting beyond it andgetting into that world of yeah,
what, what's the point of this?
How do I feel?
What am I doing?
What is this enable?
Like, whom I impacting?
(18:19):
Like getting over it.
And Again, this also leads tohaving the feelings that are
associated with that now andusing that as the vehicle, the
vehicle to get you to your ideallife.
So there's the life you havenow, which I'm sure there's a
lot of great stuff.
I'm not saying that you got togive up any of that.
What I'm saying is give up thestuff that's not working and
(18:41):
let's put in the stuff that doeswork.
And you're probably Justin what, what, what works like.
And that's the whole point of Igot an upcoming offering.
It's free.
This is a hundred dollaroffering, I think 97.
I'm offering a completely free,and so when this comes out, you
(19:02):
should still be able toregister for it.
Live, I'm gonna be having itSeptember 20th at noon Pacific.
Yet if you're like watchingthis late or you know you missed
it, I'm gonna make therecording available for free for
seven days too, because the endof the year is Almost up and I
don't want you to end up thisyear like you did last year,
where it's like, oh fuck, I justmarginally got like a little
(19:25):
bit better, but ultimately thethings that really matter mate
to me.
I Didn't even move the needle.
It's like this year is like thelast year.
Just I'm one year older.
When you're closer to wheneverI'm gonna die.
Let's get real.
Let's get real.
Every year that goes by, that'sone last year.
You have to live the life thatyou could be having, that ideal
life, and I Live too many yearslike that and I've known too
(19:48):
many people and, if you know now, had too many people die in my
life.
You know my grandmother thispast year, my mom the last year
that I really I just don't wantyou or anyone you care about.
So that's why I'm gonna beshowing you a super simple,
super straightforward techniqueof how to actually start having
(20:08):
and stop wanting, and it'scalled the unlock your ideal
life 10x faster and easiermasterclass and you just go to
Justin winkcom slash Ideal life.
So just a winkcom slash ideallife register for free.
Again, even if I can nestedlive, it's gonna be live
September 20th I.
(20:28):
And again, this is alsoavailable in my book too, so you
could just get my book and Iteach the same technique in the
book.
I'm not going to tell you whichexact ones, because it's going
to be half of the fun.
So, for even less than gettingmy book on Kindle for absolutely
(20:50):
free, I'm going to teach youone of the techniques, and the
thing is for me is like Icontinue to grow, I continue to
evolve, and so the way I'm goingto be teaching this and giving
this to you is going to be evenbetter than how it was in the
book.
So you're just not going tomiss this, even if you do
already have the book and you'vedone all of the exercises,
which thank you so much.
(21:10):
That is so fucking cool.
Yet even if you don't, this isnot.
I have enough book sales.
I don't need.
I don't need anymore.
I really don't.
It's done what it was meant todo.
I'm very happy I did it.
I'm on to helping, connectingwith more people, helping them
have their ideal life, causewhen more people have their
ideal life like, it just makesthe world a better fucking place
(21:32):
.
Like you know, I'm still alittle bit optimistic, even
though I'm incredibly pragmaticand nuts and bolts, like I only
do stuff that works and thistechnique that helps you,
basically, you know, get overyour problems, have a new
vehicle to get to where you wantto go and get you out of the
mode of wanting Like you I callit.
(21:52):
You know, 10 X faster andeasier to unlock your ideal life
.
And it's.
It's one of those like well,the faster part that that could
technically be quantifiableCause maybe you know, maybe
you've lost 10 pounds before andyou know like, oh, that took me
, that, that took me 10 weeks.
So you're telling me this isgoing to take me one week.
I this is more on the, the, theeasier part, which is a little
(22:13):
bit more qualitative thanquantitative, and qualitatively
the easiness is off the charts.
So I feel very comfortabledoing the, the 10 X faster and
easier.
So we're, you know, for rexing.
So maybe it still only takesyou 10 weeks.
Shit, maybe it.
Maybe it takes you twice aslong to learn that 10 pounds.
But if it was.
But if it's a hundred timeseasier and took twice as long,
uh, isn't that, isn't that a nobrainer?
(22:36):
Wouldn't you want a hundredtimes easier?
Like, just, it just feels likeit happens easily, magically,
and that's that's what I'm goingto be teaching in this
masterclass, totally free.
And again, you know a hint, ifyou can't wait, it's in the it's
in the it's in the book.
It's one of the chapters, oneof the exercises in my book.
But again, you don't need to dothe book, cause I'm going to do
this for free and you don'teven have to worry about like,
oh, can I make it?
(22:57):
Not make it, although if youmake it live, you get to ask
questions, uh, which can alwaysbe a little bit more valuable.
Yet you're probably also one ofthose types of people that, like
, you're going to figure it outand you're going to nail it,
knock it.
I don't know, I'm not good atsports ball.
You're going to do great.
So, with that, I do thank youfor listening and I really do
want you to stop wanting andstart having.
(23:17):
But I want you to have yourideal life and I wish you have
it fast and easy, cause, if it'spossible, why not do it, you
deserve it.
Uh, just because you want it,you really don't need much more
reason than that.
So with that I thank you andgood day.
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