November 11, 2025 • 22 mins
You might be chasing happiness all wrong—and it’s costing you more than you realize.
Justin Wenck, PhD, unpacks the real reasons happiness can feel elusive, even when life looks good on the outside. He breaks down the three essential questions we rarely ask:
- What does it take to be happy?
- What does happiness actually mean to you?
- And most importantly… what even is happiness?
If you’ve ever felt like happiness is a moving target—or worse, something you’re not “allowed” to feel—this episode is for you.
💡 KEY TAKEAWAYS:
- Why overloading your "happiness checklist" makes it feel impossible
- How hidden beliefs (like “happiness means laziness”) might be sabotaging you
- Why redefining happiness could be your most important mindset shift
- A simple but powerful way to choose happiness—even during setbacks
- The role of attention and energy in shaping your emotional state
🎁 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Join the waitlist for LEAP: Life Energy Activation Process
Book a 1-on-1 clarity session with Justin
Like this episode? Leave a comment or review—it helps more people find the show.
Feeling stuck? Reach out to Justin directly at justinwenck.com/connect
Want to go deeper? Get on the LEAP waitlist to transform your energy in under 5 minutes a day.
Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!
Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!
Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Justin Wenck (00:00):
Are you happy?
(00:00):
That's what we're going to betalking about today, is, are you
(00:02):
actually happy? And what does ittake to be happy? These are two
things you might not haveconsidered when it comes to
being happy. Probably justfocused on trying to do or get
the things that, quote, make youhappy. Yet, how's that been
working out? There's some thingsthat could shift, because if
what it takes and what it meansare things that don't really go
(00:23):
well with actually being happy,then you probably gonna discover
that you're about as happy asyou'll allow yourself to be. Are
you ready to live a life withenough time money and energy
have relationships andconnections that delight you.
Are you ready for theextraordinary life you know
(00:44):
you've been missing? If so, thenthis is the place for you. I'm a
best selling author, coach,consultant and speaker who's
worked in technology for overtwo decades. I'm a leader at
transforming people andorganizations from operating in
fear, obligation and guilt torunning off joy, ease and love.
It's time for engineeringemotions and energy with me.
(01:08):
Justin Wenck, PhD, HappyThanksgiving, happy holidays.
Happy New Year, happy birthday.
But are you happy? That's whatwe're going to be talking about
today, is, are you actuallyhappy? And what does it take to
(01:31):
be happy? So with that, let'sget started. So happiness, it's
something that comes up often. Imean, who doesn't want to be
happy? Right in the US. It's,you know, life, liberty and the
pursuit of happiness veryfundamental to the human
experience. Yet, how happy areyou really? And today, I'm
(01:51):
really going to get into twothings. One is, what does it
take for you to be happy? Andtwo, what does being happy
actually mean? These are twothings you might not have
considered when it comes tobeing happy. Probably just
focused on trying to do or getthe things that, quote, make you
(02:12):
happy yet. How's that beenworking out? And when we dive
into these two questions, youmight see that, Ooh, there's
some things that could shift.
Because if what it takes andwhat it means are things that
don't really go well withactually being happy, then
probably gonna discover thatyou're about as happy as you'll
(02:33):
allow yourself to be. So at theend of this, gonna give you some
ways that you can maybe shiftthat you know, some
possibilities, some things tothat. And just by you becoming
more conscious of this, it'salready going to start to work
in your favor. And you're goingto start to be more happy, just
as sure as you are where youare. Listen to my voice, you're
(02:54):
going to start to see that it'seasier to be happy just how you
are right now. So the first is,what does it take to be happy? I
know for myself, I used to thinkthat the requirements for being
happy were just about as lengthyas the requirements of a spec
sheet for a brand new solidstate drive that the engineering
(03:15):
team needed to work when I wasstill doing that kind of work,
which I'm, you know, glad I gladI did, but I'm also glad I no
longer do that, because I'mreally do enjoy being here,
getting to talk to you and talkto you here today. And so, like,
what did i What did it take tobe happy? Well, it's, I gotta
(03:36):
have the right body. I gotta,you know, have the right looks.
I gotta be wearing the rightclothes, I gotta have the right
amount of education, gotta havethe right job with the right
impact, with the right amount ofnotoriety, and I have to have
the right kind of friends. Igotta have the right kind of
partner be having the, you know,the right kind of sensual times
and doing the right types ofvacations, eating the right
(04:00):
types of food, having the rightkind of body, and the list went
on and on, and all that shit hadto come together for me to be
happy. And even then, then it'slike, it all comes together, and
then like, oh, wait, somethingshifts or now I get an idea of,
like, something else that'smissing, and poof, it's gone. So
(04:20):
being happy was almost infucking possible, and then the
brief times I made it, poof, itwould just as, just as quickly
as it came, it went away. And soI'd be curious, what does it
take for you to be happy? Do youhave a whole laundry list of
(04:43):
things that it takes, thingsthat you know they might show up
as list of problems or challengeor things, but really it's like
you flip that around, and that'sthe list of what's required to
be happy, all this list of ands,and even, you know, in
engineering, if. Got a wholebunch of things that need to go
together, then it's going to bea lot more rare that you
actually get that that outcometo happen. But if it's, you
(05:07):
know, one of many things, thenoh my gosh, it becomes so much
easier to be happy. Like, oh,what if only one of these things
in my list is true right now?
Like, what if I'm breathinglike, right? Because it's like,
I You can't be happy if you'renot breathing, if you're dead,
(05:28):
you're there's no way you can behappy period, end of story, at
least not not you know, as as ahuman being, maybe you know, in
some other form, you can stillbe happy, but so human being,
you got to be breathing, to behappy as a human Period. End of
story. It's so what if that'sone thing that makes you happy,
(05:48):
and that's all it takes, right?
It's not to say that otherthings are going to also make
you happy. Like, you know, allof a sudden, like, oh my gosh, I
got that job that I've reallywanted to experience, because it
does all these things, yet itwas just an additional possible
way to be happy, right? Andthen, like, Oh, finally, that,
that person that you've wantedto go on the date with, or
(06:11):
wanted to marry you, or whateverit is, they said yes. Like, Oh
yeah, that's that's definitelygonna be happier, right? So
that's the first thing is, whatdoes it take to be happy? And
I'm going to challenge you toreally think and go like, yeah,
when? When do I allow myself tobe happy? What does it take?
(06:32):
Does it take, you know, aconfluence of so many different
variables, and they have to beright? But then these variables
are dynamic and always shifting.
And so soon as I get the magicrecipe, boom, it's gone, and I
gotta get to work all overagain, you know? Or maybe you're
somewhere in between, and we canall continue to work to allow
(06:55):
what it takes to be happy to beeasier and simpler. And you
might go, okay, okay, I got you.
I'm with. This makes sense onone level, but there still might
be one other thing reallygetting in your way, and that's,
what does it mean to be happy?
Because if what it means to behappy is something that goes
(07:18):
against some of your fundamentalvalues, then even if it's easy,
you're still going to find a wayto avoid it, right? Like, let's
take the miracle of driving acar. It's it's incredibly
challenging to drive a car. It'sactually really easy to crash a
(07:39):
car, if you think about it, youjust need to not pay attention.
You just gotta wildly, you know,jerk the wheel and stuff, or,
you know, hit the gas withoutthinking, slam on the brake
without thinking, really easy,yet you go out on the road, and
for the most part, there's nocrashes, when you consider all
the people out there. And now,you know, self driving cars. We
(08:01):
have a ton out here in the SanFrancisco Bay Area, and the
little amount of accidents andcrashes, again, can always do
better, right? Can always dobetter, but the amount of
crashes and accidents and stuffphenomenally low, considering
how easy it is to crash, to makemistakes, to do these things. So
(08:23):
why? Why does this not happen?
Why? Why is it? Why do, why dowe not do the easy thing?
Because it goes against what wevalue. You know, it's like,
well, we value our lives, wevalue property, we value getting
to places in a timely, efficientmanner. And these are shared
values and personal values. Andso even as easy as something
could be, if you, if you havethe value or the meaning that,
(08:45):
like, well, that's that'ssomething to be avoided, you
sure as fuck can avoid it. Andso we see that with driving,
we're able to avoid the easything, which is crashing. And
that's a good thing, yet maybebeen doing something similar
when it comes to your happiness.
Like, maybe it has been possiblefor it to be that easy, to be
(09:08):
that simple. Yet, what does itmean to be happy to you? So I
know for me, and I know for manypeople, it's like, when I really
look at like, well, what is it?
What did it used to mean to behappy? Well, it's like, well,
being happy means there's nomotivation to do anything. It's
like,I've done it like, you know,
(09:29):
that trying to be happy, thatwas the, that was the reason to
do anything to, you know, try tobetter myself, try to go out
there and do things. Try to, youknow, have impact, is try to
make money. Is because, like,well, maybe that. And, you know,
if I get, if I do these things,then I will be happy. I'm happy,
then I won't do these things.
(09:50):
I'm not doing anything, then I'mnot experiencing. And so
happiness means lack ofexperience. And part of being
human is to experience. To enjoyour five senses in various
contexts and to see like, well,what's that like, and what is
the emotional response, andwhat's the experience? What's
the adventure? So it's likehappiness. Happiness would mean
(10:13):
no no more experience, no moreadventure, no more enjoying
sensory feeling, no more gettingto have other possibilities of
emotion. And effectively, it'slike being dead. And it's like,
well, if I'm not doing anything,then I probably would soon be
dead. So shit, happiness isdeath. I don't want to die. I
(10:34):
want to live. So best not to behappy. And this might not be
your meaning, although for manyof you listening, it probably is
pretty damn close to you knowwhat the meaning of happiness
is, that true happiness thatmight actually last longer than
a quarter of a second, is thislike as sure as shit, the same
as eventual death and so, boy,why? Why be happy? Try to avoid
(10:58):
happy. Avoid happiness like youavoid wrecking your car, yet,
there's other meetings that arepossible, right? And so to me
now, the meaning of being happyis, oh, it's it's so expansive.
It's like, now I can see whatelse makes me happy, or
modulates the feeling ofhappiness, or joy, or and the
other thing is that it'senergizing that being happy
(11:23):
provides energy that allows itto be more easy to go and
experience the things I want toexperience, and I can choose
them. And then the other thingis being happy being so easy.
It's also being very attractiveand magnetic, because happiness
brings in more happiness. Soit's like becomes even easier to
(11:46):
attract the people, theexperiences, the opportunities,
the impact that I want, wellbeing happy. And so it's just
like, if happiness means allthat, and yeah, I want, I want
to be as happy as I can be asoften. And you might be kind of
(12:06):
going, like, Whoa, no. But noteverything is going to be happy.
Like, you know, like, you know,sometimes things happen. Your
car gets in a wreck. And again,just because the car gets in a
wreck doesn't necessarily, it'slike, yeah, that's that sucks.
That's not fun yet. The amountof time spent in that, that
stuckness, that ickiness, thatwhatever doesn't have to last
(12:29):
long, because it can be like,Okay, well, what's the message
here of of the wrecking the caror the the ending of the
relationship or the loss of thejob or the or the the diagnosis
of something, some, some healthailment. It might be like, it's
a time to go, oh, what's goingon here? What have I missed? And
how can I make a difference?
Like, oh, I'm good. I'm havingan experience. I'm getting to
(12:51):
learn. I'm getting to choose howto do something differently that
maybe I've been on autopilot andI didn't realize what was going
on here. And now it's the timeto look and ponder and reflect
and go, Ah, now I see what I gotto do now. And you can then more
happily go about doing it, asopposed to like, oh boy, I got
(13:13):
to get out of this shit and tryto get to the happiness at the
end of this. The happiness isn'tat the end, the happiness is a
state of being right now. And I,you know, said I was going to
talk about, you know, two thingsto consider. And you know that
being the, what does it take tobe happy? And then the, what
does it mean to be happy? Butlet's get to the third thing,
(13:36):
which is, what actually ishappiness? It's it's a state of
being, and you choose your stateby choice. Often you're not
consciously choosing it. You'reallowing that decision to be
made for you by what's going on,on what is happening externally
in your world. Once yourecognize that, that's why you
(13:57):
know, do lots of you knowepisodes on this did one episode
about, you know, what's the mostimportant, most valuable thing
that you have, and it's yourattention, which is why
advertisers pay millions,billions of dollars to get your
attention. Because when someonehas your attention, they
(14:18):
basically they have you, you canget you to feel however you want
they want you to, and once theyhave you feeling the way they
want you to do the you'll kindof do what it is they want you
to do. It's been veryinteresting. I've been reading
Isaac Asimov, his books, thefoundation series of books
(14:39):
because I started watching theseries on Apple. It's not an ad
for them, but supposedly I justgot, don't worry, I'm going to
get to the point of what it isto be happy. But you know, as a
podcaster, I get all thesenotices from, you know, where I
have my podcast, and so Applesends it, going like, Hey, we
got. Some some changing ourprivacy policy, because new
(15:01):
things are happening. Where, ifyou mentioned, you know, other
podcasts on the Apple podcasts,or if you mentioned Apple
services or whatever, we'regoing to put links in your
description or on the on theapp. I don't know what, but I'm
just like, What a weird, wildworld where things are happening
that, again, again, that tryingto get the attention, because
(15:24):
it's like, well, if they can getthe attention to stay in the
Apple verse, Then you were goingto stay an apple, apple person
again. You know, if youconsciously know that that's
happening, you can go all right,I'm this works for me. But if
you're like, wait, this doesn'twork. I'm going to put my
attention elsewhere again. Thisputs you in the driver's seat.
(15:45):
So you might be going like,Well, Justin, how can I choose
to be, choose to be happy,right? You know, let's, let's
take an instance of maybe ifthere was a time in your life
where somebody did you wrong,you were just innocently going
about your life. You'refollowing all the rules. You
were doing the right things, butsomebody came up and they did
something that harmed you, thatit made it hurt you. It harmed
(16:07):
you. They did you wrong. Theymaybe they slandered you, they
said bad things about you, orthey took something of yours, or
maybe they just didn't recognizethat you were there, and they
just it, just disregards you.
I'm sure there's some time inyour life that's coming up, and
how do you how did that make youfeel like you're probably, like,
getting all frustrated and angryand upset and like that,
(16:30):
motherfucker, yeah, you'reright. They did cut in front of
me in line and I was next. I wasnext, or, yeah, they, they kept
ignoring me. They kept callingme by the wrong name? Yeah, they
kept calling me whatever, stinkypants, and I sucked, and I don't
like that. So see just how thatyou're based on where your
(16:51):
attention is, your emotions areshifting. And you can shift that
just as easily to imagine a timein your life when, like, you
just got something that was sucha treasure. Somebody said
something that, like, oh mygosh, I love it when you do
this. This is so great. Thankyou so much. Like, you mean so
much to me when you say this andwhen you do these things for me.
And I just, I'm so glad that youknow you're in my life and you
(17:14):
do these things, or maybe theyjust, they just let you know in
some way, and just let yourself,like, remember that time, and to
feel that and just like, Ohyeah, yeah. And you're probably
starting to feel like, happy,maybe there's a little smile or
a little just friend and and soyou can do this on your own,
(17:35):
because happiness is just astate of being, and so you can
choose it. And doesn't mean it'sgoing to be easy or you're going
to be perfect, because, again,things are going to be happen,
right? But it's as soon as yourecognize, like, oh boy, I have
I could shift this. What's thegift in what's happening?
(17:55):
Because every time else in mylife, as sure as I've listened
to Justin's podcast. As sure asI am thinking and breathing
right now, I have gotten out offixes in the past, and they've
worked out, and I've had othergood, amazing times. What is the
gift? What is the thing to belearned and gained so that my
life can be even better and Ican have other experiences that
(18:19):
provide more options to be happyand enjoyable and to have
impact, right that I can bedoing things in the world and
I'm at choice. I'm no longerrequired to have to strive, to
struggle like it gets to be ajoy
and a pleasure to do the thingsthat come up in my world and in
(18:40):
my life, and I get to choosewhere I go, what to experience,
instead of just okay, well,maybe someday, eventually, I'll
be able to get out of this, andI'll do enough, and I'll get to
be happy. But as sure as you'veseen and felt, that day never
comes. It's just like the thesign in front of the bar, you
know, it says free beertomorrow, or maybe it's free
(19:02):
acai bowls tomorrow. And yousee, you go in and go, Well, can
I get, can I get the free bowl,the free beer? And they go, Oh,
it's tomorrow. And so you showup the next day, and it's like,
it's okay, it's tomorrow. Andthey go, No, it's today. It's
the free stuff is tomorrow.
Tomorrow never comes. It's now,now, now, now. Now is the time.
(19:25):
Now is the time to be happy, andnow is the time to choose what
it means to you to be happy. Andif you're wondering, like, Okay,
I think I get it conceptually,because the concept is one
thing, but it's the reallygetting it into your whole body,
to be part of your beliefs, tobe part of your identity, to be
part of your very essence, thatis another thing. And if you're
(19:48):
looking for ways, I'm going toencourage you to go check out my
life energy activation processleap, because it is an
incredibly. Potent and powerfulenergy. Practice that I have
created, developed, puttogether, takes less than five
minutes to practice, and you canlearn it in between 30 minutes
(20:08):
and 60 minutes. And currently, Igot a wait list so that when the
when the course is ready, sothat you can take, do this
anytime, anywhere. So it's outthat you can be one of the first
to know. So you want to just goto Justin wenck.com, forward,
slash, leap, L, E, A, P, forlife, energy activation process.
(20:29):
So that's going to be, you know,super easy, super incredible,
super powerful. And yet, ifyou're like, I can't wait, or
you really want to deep dive onsome things, because, you know,
leap, it's a process that it'sgoing to, it's going to bring
things up and shift thesepowerfully, potently, you know,
(20:49):
over a little bit of time, yetagain, just five minutes a yet,
if you really want to, like,deep dive and, like, maybe shift
something bigger, maybe you're,like, I don't even know what to
shift, but I know there'ssomething and I want to get
figured out, and I want to do itnow, then really encourage you
to, you know, maybe book asession with me and we can, you
know, get that figured out andget that shifted and changed,
(21:10):
you know, really, reallyquickly. So go to Justin Wenck,
com slash connect. And, yeah,there's a place where you can
sign up to have a little littlechat. You me have a little chat
and figure out how we can best,best get you happy now, right?
Because now is the time so thatwishing you happy now, whatever
the holiday may be, just happynow. And I'd love to hear like,
(21:38):
what's what have you found tobe? What has it taken for you to
be happy in the past? What hasit What has it meant to you to
be happy? And then you know,even more importantly, what,
what could it take, and whatcould it mean to be happy for
you going forward? So love foryou. To let me know in the
(21:58):
comments, shoot me an email.
However you get a hold of me, Imake myself quit. Pretty
available. Love to hear fromyou. So with that, thank you so
much and good day. Thanks fortuning in to engineering
emotions and energy with JustinWenck PhD, today's episode
resonated with you. Pleasesubscribe and leave a five star
review. Your feedback not onlysupports the show, but also
(22:20):
helps others find us and starttheir journey of emotional and
energetic mastery. You can alsohelp by sharing this podcast
with someone you think will loveit just as much as you do.
Together, we're engineering moreamazing lives you.
Are you happy?
(00:00):
That's what we're going to betalking about today, is, are you
(00:02):
actually happy? And what does ittake to be happy? These are two
things you might not haveconsidered when it comes to
being happy. Probably justfocused on trying to do or get
the things that, quote, make youhappy. Yet, how's that been
working out? There's some thingsthat could shift, because if
what it takes and what it meansare things that don't really go
(00:23):
well with actually being happy,then you probably gonna discover
that you're about as happy asyou'll allow yourself to be. Are
you ready to live a life withenough time money and energy
have relationships andconnections that delight you.
Are you ready for theextraordinary life you know
(00:44):
you've been missing? If so, thenthis is the place for you. I'm a
best selling author, coach,consultant and speaker who's
worked in technology for overtwo decades. I'm a leader at
transforming people andorganizations from operating in
fear, obligation and guilt torunning off joy, ease and love.
It's time for engineeringemotions and energy with me.
(01:08):
Justin Wenck, PhD, HappyThanksgiving, happy holidays.
Happy New Year, happy birthday.
But are you happy? That's whatwe're going to be talking about
today, is, are you actuallyhappy? And what does it take to
(01:31):
be happy? So with that, let'sget started. So happiness, it's
something that comes up often. Imean, who doesn't want to be
happy? Right in the US. It's,you know, life, liberty and the
pursuit of happiness veryfundamental to the human
experience. Yet, how happy areyou really? And today, I'm
(01:51):
really going to get into twothings. One is, what does it
take for you to be happy? Andtwo, what does being happy
actually mean? These are twothings you might not have
considered when it comes tobeing happy. Probably just
focused on trying to do or getthe things that, quote, make you
(02:12):
happy yet. How's that beenworking out? And when we dive
into these two questions, youmight see that, Ooh, there's
some things that could shift.
Because if what it takes andwhat it means are things that
don't really go well withactually being happy, then
probably gonna discover thatyou're about as happy as you'll
(02:33):
allow yourself to be. So at theend of this, gonna give you some
ways that you can maybe shiftthat you know, some
possibilities, some things tothat. And just by you becoming
more conscious of this, it'salready going to start to work
in your favor. And you're goingto start to be more happy, just
as sure as you are where youare. Listen to my voice, you're
(02:54):
going to start to see that it'seasier to be happy just how you
are right now. So the first is,what does it take to be happy? I
know for myself, I used to thinkthat the requirements for being
happy were just about as lengthyas the requirements of a spec
sheet for a brand new solidstate drive that the engineering
(03:15):
team needed to work when I wasstill doing that kind of work,
which I'm, you know, glad I gladI did, but I'm also glad I no
longer do that, because I'mreally do enjoy being here,
getting to talk to you and talkto you here today. And so, like,
what did i What did it take tobe happy? Well, it's, I gotta
(03:36):
have the right body. I gotta,you know, have the right looks.
I gotta be wearing the rightclothes, I gotta have the right
amount of education, gotta havethe right job with the right
impact, with the right amount ofnotoriety, and I have to have
the right kind of friends. Igotta have the right kind of
partner be having the, you know,the right kind of sensual times
and doing the right types ofvacations, eating the right
(04:00):
types of food, having the rightkind of body, and the list went
on and on, and all that shit hadto come together for me to be
happy. And even then, then it'slike, it all comes together, and
then like, oh, wait, somethingshifts or now I get an idea of,
like, something else that'smissing, and poof, it's gone. So
(04:20):
being happy was almost infucking possible, and then the
brief times I made it, poof, itwould just as, just as quickly
as it came, it went away. And soI'd be curious, what does it
take for you to be happy? Do youhave a whole laundry list of
(04:43):
things that it takes, thingsthat you know they might show up
as list of problems or challengeor things, but really it's like
you flip that around, and that'sthe list of what's required to
be happy, all this list of ands,and even, you know, in
engineering, if. Got a wholebunch of things that need to go
together, then it's going to bea lot more rare that you
actually get that that outcometo happen. But if it's, you
(05:07):
know, one of many things, thenoh my gosh, it becomes so much
easier to be happy. Like, oh,what if only one of these things
in my list is true right now?
Like, what if I'm breathinglike, right? Because it's like,
I You can't be happy if you'renot breathing, if you're dead,
(05:28):
you're there's no way you can behappy period, end of story, at
least not not you know, as as ahuman being, maybe you know, in
some other form, you can stillbe happy, but so human being,
you got to be breathing, to behappy as a human Period. End of
story. It's so what if that'sone thing that makes you happy,
(05:48):
and that's all it takes, right?
It's not to say that otherthings are going to also make
you happy. Like, you know, allof a sudden, like, oh my gosh, I
got that job that I've reallywanted to experience, because it
does all these things, yet itwas just an additional possible
way to be happy, right? Andthen, like, Oh, finally, that,
that person that you've wantedto go on the date with, or
(06:11):
wanted to marry you, or whateverit is, they said yes. Like, Oh
yeah, that's that's definitelygonna be happier, right? So
that's the first thing is, whatdoes it take to be happy? And
I'm going to challenge you toreally think and go like, yeah,
when? When do I allow myself tobe happy? What does it take?
(06:32):
Does it take, you know, aconfluence of so many different
variables, and they have to beright? But then these variables
are dynamic and always shifting.
And so soon as I get the magicrecipe, boom, it's gone, and I
gotta get to work all overagain, you know? Or maybe you're
somewhere in between, and we canall continue to work to allow
(06:55):
what it takes to be happy to beeasier and simpler. And you
might go, okay, okay, I got you.
I'm with. This makes sense onone level, but there still might
be one other thing reallygetting in your way, and that's,
what does it mean to be happy?
Because if what it means to behappy is something that goes
(07:18):
against some of your fundamentalvalues, then even if it's easy,
you're still going to find a wayto avoid it, right? Like, let's
take the miracle of driving acar. It's it's incredibly
challenging to drive a car. It'sactually really easy to crash a
(07:39):
car, if you think about it, youjust need to not pay attention.
You just gotta wildly, you know,jerk the wheel and stuff, or,
you know, hit the gas withoutthinking, slam on the brake
without thinking, really easy,yet you go out on the road, and
for the most part, there's nocrashes, when you consider all
the people out there. And now,you know, self driving cars. We
(08:01):
have a ton out here in the SanFrancisco Bay Area, and the
little amount of accidents andcrashes, again, can always do
better, right? Can always dobetter, but the amount of
crashes and accidents and stuffphenomenally low, considering
how easy it is to crash, to makemistakes, to do these things. So
(08:23):
why? Why does this not happen?
Why? Why is it? Why do, why dowe not do the easy thing?
Because it goes against what wevalue. You know, it's like,
well, we value our lives, wevalue property, we value getting
to places in a timely, efficientmanner. And these are shared
values and personal values. Andso even as easy as something
could be, if you, if you havethe value or the meaning that,
(08:45):
like, well, that's that'ssomething to be avoided, you
sure as fuck can avoid it. Andso we see that with driving,
we're able to avoid the easything, which is crashing. And
that's a good thing, yet maybebeen doing something similar
when it comes to your happiness.
Like, maybe it has been possiblefor it to be that easy, to be
(09:08):
that simple. Yet, what does itmean to be happy to you? So I
know for me, and I know for manypeople, it's like, when I really
look at like, well, what is it?
What did it used to mean to behappy? Well, it's like, well,
being happy means there's nomotivation to do anything. It's
like,I've done it like, you know,
(09:29):
that trying to be happy, thatwas the, that was the reason to
do anything to, you know, try tobetter myself, try to go out
there and do things. Try to, youknow, have impact, is try to
make money. Is because, like,well, maybe that. And, you know,
if I get, if I do these things,then I will be happy. I'm happy,
then I won't do these things.
(09:50):
I'm not doing anything, then I'mnot experiencing. And so
happiness means lack ofexperience. And part of being
human is to experience. To enjoyour five senses in various
contexts and to see like, well,what's that like, and what is
the emotional response, andwhat's the experience? What's
the adventure? So it's likehappiness. Happiness would mean
(10:13):
no no more experience, no moreadventure, no more enjoying
sensory feeling, no more gettingto have other possibilities of
emotion. And effectively, it'slike being dead. And it's like,
well, if I'm not doing anything,then I probably would soon be
dead. So shit, happiness isdeath. I don't want to die. I
(10:34):
want to live. So best not to behappy. And this might not be
your meaning, although for manyof you listening, it probably is
pretty damn close to you knowwhat the meaning of happiness
is, that true happiness thatmight actually last longer than
a quarter of a second, is thislike as sure as shit, the same
as eventual death and so, boy,why? Why be happy? Try to avoid
(10:58):
happy. Avoid happiness like youavoid wrecking your car, yet,
there's other meetings that arepossible, right? And so to me
now, the meaning of being happyis, oh, it's it's so expansive.
It's like, now I can see whatelse makes me happy, or
modulates the feeling ofhappiness, or joy, or and the
other thing is that it'senergizing that being happy
(11:23):
provides energy that allows itto be more easy to go and
experience the things I want toexperience, and I can choose
them. And then the other thingis being happy being so easy.
It's also being very attractiveand magnetic, because happiness
brings in more happiness. Soit's like becomes even easier to
(11:46):
attract the people, theexperiences, the opportunities,
the impact that I want, wellbeing happy. And so it's just
like, if happiness means allthat, and yeah, I want, I want
to be as happy as I can be asoften. And you might be kind of
(12:06):
going, like, Whoa, no. But noteverything is going to be happy.
Like, you know, like, you know,sometimes things happen. Your
car gets in a wreck. And again,just because the car gets in a
wreck doesn't necessarily, it'slike, yeah, that's that sucks.
That's not fun yet. The amountof time spent in that, that
stuckness, that ickiness, thatwhatever doesn't have to last
(12:29):
long, because it can be like,Okay, well, what's the message
here of of the wrecking the caror the the ending of the
relationship or the loss of thejob or the or the the diagnosis
of something, some, some healthailment. It might be like, it's
a time to go, oh, what's goingon here? What have I missed? And
how can I make a difference?
Like, oh, I'm good. I'm havingan experience. I'm getting to
(12:51):
learn. I'm getting to choose howto do something differently that
maybe I've been on autopilot andI didn't realize what was going
on here. And now it's the timeto look and ponder and reflect
and go, Ah, now I see what I gotto do now. And you can then more
happily go about doing it, asopposed to like, oh boy, I got
(13:13):
to get out of this shit and tryto get to the happiness at the
end of this. The happiness isn'tat the end, the happiness is a
state of being right now. And I,you know, said I was going to
talk about, you know, two thingsto consider. And you know that
being the, what does it take tobe happy? And then the, what
does it mean to be happy? Butlet's get to the third thing,
(13:36):
which is, what actually ishappiness? It's it's a state of
being, and you choose your stateby choice. Often you're not
consciously choosing it. You'reallowing that decision to be
made for you by what's going on,on what is happening externally
in your world. Once yourecognize that, that's why you
(13:57):
know, do lots of you knowepisodes on this did one episode
about, you know, what's the mostimportant, most valuable thing
that you have, and it's yourattention, which is why
advertisers pay millions,billions of dollars to get your
attention. Because when someonehas your attention, they
(14:18):
basically they have you, you canget you to feel however you want
they want you to, and once theyhave you feeling the way they
want you to do the you'll kindof do what it is they want you
to do. It's been veryinteresting. I've been reading
Isaac Asimov, his books, thefoundation series of books
(14:39):
because I started watching theseries on Apple. It's not an ad
for them, but supposedly I justgot, don't worry, I'm going to
get to the point of what it isto be happy. But you know, as a
podcaster, I get all thesenotices from, you know, where I
have my podcast, and so Applesends it, going like, Hey, we
got. Some some changing ourprivacy policy, because new
(15:01):
things are happening. Where, ifyou mentioned, you know, other
podcasts on the Apple podcasts,or if you mentioned Apple
services or whatever, we'regoing to put links in your
description or on the on theapp. I don't know what, but I'm
just like, What a weird, wildworld where things are happening
that, again, again, that tryingto get the attention, because
(15:24):
it's like, well, if they can getthe attention to stay in the
Apple verse, Then you were goingto stay an apple, apple person
again. You know, if youconsciously know that that's
happening, you can go all right,I'm this works for me. But if
you're like, wait, this doesn'twork. I'm going to put my
attention elsewhere again. Thisputs you in the driver's seat.
(15:45):
So you might be going like,Well, Justin, how can I choose
to be, choose to be happy,right? You know, let's, let's
take an instance of maybe ifthere was a time in your life
where somebody did you wrong,you were just innocently going
about your life. You'refollowing all the rules. You
were doing the right things, butsomebody came up and they did
something that harmed you, thatit made it hurt you. It harmed
(16:07):
you. They did you wrong. Theymaybe they slandered you, they
said bad things about you, orthey took something of yours, or
maybe they just didn't recognizethat you were there, and they
just it, just disregards you.
I'm sure there's some time inyour life that's coming up, and
how do you how did that make youfeel like you're probably, like,
getting all frustrated and angryand upset and like that,
(16:30):
motherfucker, yeah, you'reright. They did cut in front of
me in line and I was next. I wasnext, or, yeah, they, they kept
ignoring me. They kept callingme by the wrong name? Yeah, they
kept calling me whatever, stinkypants, and I sucked, and I don't
like that. So see just how thatyou're based on where your
(16:51):
attention is, your emotions areshifting. And you can shift that
just as easily to imagine a timein your life when, like, you
just got something that was sucha treasure. Somebody said
something that, like, oh mygosh, I love it when you do
this. This is so great. Thankyou so much. Like, you mean so
much to me when you say this andwhen you do these things for me.
And I just, I'm so glad that youknow you're in my life and you
(17:14):
do these things, or maybe theyjust, they just let you know in
some way, and just let yourself,like, remember that time, and to
feel that and just like, Ohyeah, yeah. And you're probably
starting to feel like, happy,maybe there's a little smile or
a little just friend and and soyou can do this on your own,
(17:35):
because happiness is just astate of being, and so you can
choose it. And doesn't mean it'sgoing to be easy or you're going
to be perfect, because, again,things are going to be happen,
right? But it's as soon as yourecognize, like, oh boy, I have
I could shift this. What's thegift in what's happening?
(17:55):
Because every time else in mylife, as sure as I've listened
to Justin's podcast. As sure asI am thinking and breathing
right now, I have gotten out offixes in the past, and they've
worked out, and I've had othergood, amazing times. What is the
gift? What is the thing to belearned and gained so that my
life can be even better and Ican have other experiences that
(18:19):
provide more options to be happyand enjoyable and to have
impact, right that I can bedoing things in the world and
I'm at choice. I'm no longerrequired to have to strive, to
struggle like it gets to be ajoy
and a pleasure to do the thingsthat come up in my world and in
(18:40):
my life, and I get to choosewhere I go, what to experience,
instead of just okay, well,maybe someday, eventually, I'll
be able to get out of this, andI'll do enough, and I'll get to
be happy. But as sure as you'veseen and felt, that day never
comes. It's just like the thesign in front of the bar, you
know, it says free beertomorrow, or maybe it's free
(19:02):
acai bowls tomorrow. And yousee, you go in and go, Well, can
I get, can I get the free bowl,the free beer? And they go, Oh,
it's tomorrow. And so you showup the next day, and it's like,
it's okay, it's tomorrow. Andthey go, No, it's today. It's
the free stuff is tomorrow.
Tomorrow never comes. It's now,now, now, now. Now is the time.
(19:25):
Now is the time to be happy, andnow is the time to choose what
it means to you to be happy. Andif you're wondering, like, Okay,
I think I get it conceptually,because the concept is one
thing, but it's the reallygetting it into your whole body,
to be part of your beliefs, tobe part of your identity, to be
part of your very essence, thatis another thing. And if you're
(19:48):
looking for ways, I'm going toencourage you to go check out my
life energy activation processleap, because it is an
incredibly. Potent and powerfulenergy. Practice that I have
created, developed, puttogether, takes less than five
minutes to practice, and you canlearn it in between 30 minutes
(20:08):
and 60 minutes. And currently, Igot a wait list so that when the
when the course is ready, sothat you can take, do this
anytime, anywhere. So it's outthat you can be one of the first
to know. So you want to just goto Justin wenck.com, forward,
slash, leap, L, E, A, P, forlife, energy activation process.
(20:29):
So that's going to be, you know,super easy, super incredible,
super powerful. And yet, ifyou're like, I can't wait, or
you really want to deep dive onsome things, because, you know,
leap, it's a process that it'sgoing to, it's going to bring
things up and shift thesepowerfully, potently, you know,
(20:49):
over a little bit of time, yetagain, just five minutes a yet,
if you really want to, like,deep dive and, like, maybe shift
something bigger, maybe you're,like, I don't even know what to
shift, but I know there'ssomething and I want to get
figured out, and I want to do itnow, then really encourage you
to, you know, maybe book asession with me and we can, you
know, get that figured out andget that shifted and changed,
(21:10):
you know, really, reallyquickly. So go to Justin Wenck,
com slash connect. And, yeah,there's a place where you can
sign up to have a little littlechat. You me have a little chat
and figure out how we can best,best get you happy now, right?
Because now is the time so thatwishing you happy now, whatever
the holiday may be, just happynow. And I'd love to hear like,
(21:38):
what's what have you found tobe? What has it taken for you to
be happy in the past? What hasit What has it meant to you to
be happy? And then you know,even more importantly, what,
what could it take, and whatcould it mean to be happy for
you going forward? So love foryou. To let me know in the
(21:58):
comments, shoot me an email.
However you get a hold of me, Imake myself quit. Pretty
available. Love to hear fromyou. So with that, thank you so
much and good day. Thanks fortuning in to engineering
emotions and energy with JustinWenck PhD, today's episode
resonated with you. Pleasesubscribe and leave a five star
review. Your feedback not onlysupports the show, but also
(22:20):
helps others find us and starttheir journey of emotional and
energetic mastery. You can alsohelp by sharing this podcast
with someone you think will loveit just as much as you do.
Together, we're engineering moreamazing lives you.
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