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February 6, 2024 57 mins

What You’ll Hear In This Episode:

- Challenges faced when dating as a widow

- Balancing the program's time commitment with personal life

- The value of investing in personal growth and dating success

- Feelings of loneliness and lack of control in the dating process

- Finding confidence and determination to pursue love again

- Learning from past relationships through the program

- Overcoming grief and reevaluating life priorities after loss

- Embracing femininity and letting go of anxious attachment styles

- Open communication and shared commitments establishing a strong connection

- The "final five" approach and focusing on compatibility

- The non-linear approach of the program and its advantages over traditional therapy

- Success in finding a fulfilling relationship with a previously divorced man

Key Quotes:

The Power of Spontaneity: "And I was actually surprised because I don't do spontaneous things typically. I always make long and hard decisions and I do all the analysis and think about. But I guess we just clicked and I made that spontaneous decision at the end of our call, which was supposed to be an hour and a half."

— Elaine

Understanding Grief Cycles in Retirement: "Because I was also having grief cycles from the retirement, which I didn't have the first or second year after I lost my husband."

— Elaine

Reflecting on Past Relationships: "I think the piece that resonates with me the most is the exercise where you go back and do an analysis of your past relationship, from your parents to people you dated, to people you were married. And it's a group, but it's individual. And I was scared to death to do it on my late husband. Right. And I talked to Rebecca, my coach, and, you know, this one worries me, because I try to think of all of the positives, and you have to come up with positives and negatives. I haven't tried to think backwards, well, this could have been better, and that could have been better because he passed and he had a good marriage. Well, I did the exercise, and it shocked me because he had a lot of the traits that all of my past relationships had."

— Elaine

Embracing Femininity and Overcoming Attachment Styles: "And being able to step back and let the guy be the guy and be playful, that was hard for me, being playful. But you gave all the tips and the tricks and the samples and the other women that we can talk to all the time, we all kind of come up with little things that we could do."

— Elaine 

Exploring Modern Dating: "Because what I wanted to do was get comfortable with the whole process, tap into my naked data, and be curious and open minded."

— Elaine 

Dating Priorities and Compatibility: "Even if he had the money, he'd be uncomfortable, and so I would use that as my. Instead of just, oh, he doesn't make enough money to do what I want to do because, I don't know, maybe he's got millions, but does he like to travel the way? Does he like to eat out the places I like to eat? Does he like to do the things I like to do?"

— Elaine

The Power of Vulnerability in New Relationships: "I went in this with, I'm going to just be open and vulnerable because I don't have time, right? I could be dead tomorrow, so I want to make sure this is the right fit."

— Elaine 

Finding Love in the Digital Age: "And that's what started our connection, because I had also gone through a journey where I lost a bunch of weight, too. So we had that in common."

— Elaine

Personal Development Courses: "And it makes you feel so good after you take it that you actually start looking forward to it."

— Elaine

Investing in Personal Growth: "Who better to invest in is me. What I didn't know is how much value I would get out of it until I started down the process. And to me, I got every dollar out of it and to justify it."

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