November 27, 2024 • 20 mins
Could gratitude truly be the key to transforming the chaos of foster and adoptive parenting into moments of peace and resilience? Join me, Nicole T Barlow, as we challenge the conventional approach to parenting stress by embracing gratitude as a divine stress reliever. This episode explores how consciously choosing gratitude, even in the toughest seasons, can not only rewire our brains but also strengthen our spiritual resilience. Through personal stories and reflections, we journey through the sacred, albeit challenging, path of foster and adoptive parenting, where every obstacle is an opportunity for growth, and every moment of connection with our children is a gift.
As we navigate the blessings and lessons inherent in the foster care and adoption journey, we find ourselves celebrating grace, patience, and unconditional love. These transformative experiences teach us to focus on the beauty within brokenness, acknowledging God's faithfulness and the small victories that enrich our lives. Together, we'll explore how gratitude shifts our perspectives, deepens our faith, and forges a stronger bond with our community and children. Let's commit to cultivating a spirit of gratitude daily, recognizing the unique privilege of guiding our children as they grow into the individuals they're meant to be.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome to the Foster Parent Well podcast, where we
have real candid, faith-filledconversations about all things
foster care, adoption and trauma.
I'm your host, nicole T Barlow.
I'm a certified parent trainer,a certified health coach and an
adoptive parent myself.
This is a space where you canfind support so that you can
care for your kids with asteadfast faith, endurance and
(00:53):
joy.
I want you to foster parentwell.
I'm your host, nicole T Barlow.
It's the day before Thanksgivingand if your house looks
anything like mine, there'sprobably a weird mix of chaos
and holiday magic happening.
My kitchen smells like cinnamonand maybe something slightly
burnt because, let's be honest,not everything turns out like I
(01:15):
want it to.
Thank goodness, mysister-in-law and brother are
the ones that host Thanksgiving,and I'm really only responsible
for a few things.
Now I know some of you are alsorunning around trying to pull
everything together.
You're juggling kids andcasseroles, and maybe even an
episode of family drama or two,or maybe Thanksgiving isn't
(01:36):
quite this warm, fuzzy picturefilled with family and loved
ones for you at all.
Wherever you are today, I wantyou to know this episode is just
for you.
Today we're talking all aboutgratitude in the hard seasons.
Gratitude sounds really greatin theory, but what happens when
(01:57):
life gets overwhelming, whenit's messy or when it's not at
all what you expected?
That's where things get real.
In this episode, we're divinginto why gratitude matters, how
it impacts your brain and body,and what it looks like to
cultivate gratitude even in thetoughest seasons of foster and
adoptive parenting.
We're going to keep itpractical, faith-filled, and we
(02:20):
might even add a little bit offunny, because laughter is
basically free therapy, right?
So grab your coffee, hide fromthe laundry for a minute and
let's dig in.
Let's start with the why.
Why does gratitude matter,especially in seasons that feel
overwhelming?
Well, when we choose gratitude,something remarkable happens in
(02:42):
our body and brain.
Gratitude literally rewiresyour brain by strengthening
neural pathways associated withpositivity and resilience.
So think of it like a workoutfor your mental muscles.
The more you practice gratitude, the stronger those pathways
become, and it makes it easierto notice the good, even when
(03:04):
life feels hard.
Gratitude also triggers therelease of dopamine and
serotonin.
We've talked about those on theshow before.
Those are feel-good chemicalsthat boost your mood and calm
your nerves.
So it's like God built in abuilt-in stress reliever right
into us.
Choosing gratitude tells yourbrain hey, things aren't as bad
(03:27):
as they seem and your bodyresponds by relaxing a little.
So, from a nervous systemperspective, gratitude activates
the parasympathetic nervoussystem, which is your body's
kind of rest and digest mode.
This mode is the opposite offight or flight, and all of us
are far too familiar with fightor flight.
(03:50):
Right, when you're in fight orflight, your body is on high
alert and it pumps out stresshormones like cortisol and
adrenaline, because it's notjust your kids that go into
fight or flight mode, you do aswell.
So while these are great foremergencies, staying in this
state long term it can lead toburnout, exhaustion, even health
(04:11):
issues.
Gratitude is the thing thatshifts your body back into a
state of calm.
It reduces those stresshormones and kind of gives your
mind and body a chance torecover, and kind of gives your
mind and body a chance torecover.
Isn't it amazing how Goddesigned us?
It's like he knew we'd need away to kind of recalibrate in
the middle of these hard seasons.
(04:34):
But let's get real.
Practicing gratitude is a loteasier said than done,
especially when you're in atough season.
Foster and adoptive parentingcan come with layers and layers
and layers and layers ofchallenges and sometimes the
weight of it all just feelsimpossible.
It can be really hard, justbeing honest here.
(04:58):
It can be really hard to bethankful for cases that linger
in the system for way too long.
It can be hard to be thankfulfor the case manager that never
returns your call, or formeltdown after meltdown after
meltdown, because, well, I mean,just think about this season
(05:19):
that we're in right now.
Trauma and holidays don't oftenmix well right.
So the truth is, gratitudedoesn't mean that you're
ignoring all of that.
It's not slapping on a fakesmile.
It's not pretending everythingis fine.
It's really choosing to see thegood in spite of all of that
(05:39):
hard.
It's saying God, I don'tunderstand why things are so
tough right now, but I trustthat you are still good.
Philippians 4, 6 through 7reminds us do not be anxious
about anything, but in everysituation, by prayer and
petition with thanksgiving,present your request to God, and
(06:03):
the peace of God, whichtranscends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and mindsin Christ Jesus.
He will give you peace.
You aren't responsible forcultivating that on your own
right.
He will give it to you, and thereality is that the hard is
often God's grace to us.
(06:24):
I was reading in Luke this weekand I was reminded that pride,
which is something that soeasily creeps into our hearts,
right, it keeps us away from God.
It is actually the hard thingsin our lives, these hard things
that we face, that usually drawus closer to him.
(06:46):
It works that pride out of us.
These hard things humble us andthey remind us that we can't do
all of this alone, right?
So these hard things are a gift, and gratitude, you guys in the
hard, is a direct blow to theenemy.
I mean, just think about it.
(07:07):
The enemy thinks that thesehard things are going to turn us
away from God.
And when they instead turn ustowards God, when we can not
only praise God in the midst ofthe hard but also be thankful
for the hard, can you imaginethe blow that that is to the
enemy?
Now, I know some of you arelistening and thinking.
(07:29):
Nicole, I can barely keep myhead above water.
How am I supposed to even thinkabout gratitude?
Friend, I hear you.
If you're in survival moderight now, let me give you
permission to breathe, likeright now.
Take a minute to breathe In andout.
(07:50):
Gratitude doesn't have to be bigor flashy.
It's not about creating thisPinterest perfect moment, right?
It's just sometimes like sayinga quiet thank you, lord when
the baby finally goes to sleepfor their nap, or smiling at
your child when they dosomething small but sweet, even
(08:12):
if the rest of the day has beena mess, when they do something
small but sweet even if the restof the day has been a mess.
Or thanking God for yourmorning coffee and the five
minute of peace it brings.
Or even if it doesn't bringpeace but you still get morning
coffee.
We can take a second, as wetake that first sip, to say
thank you Lord.
I am so thankful for this cupof coffee.
Those small wins matter.
(08:37):
They're proof that God's graceis woven into the fabric of your
every day.
And listen, I will say this too,especially because we're in the
holiday seasons, like part ofwhat we have to let go of is
other people's expectations ofus and the expectations that
they put on us.
We don't have to create thisPinterest perfect life right?
(08:58):
Extended family and friends.
They may have opinions abouthow you're doing Thanksgiving or
how you parent, but here's thedeal you don't have to meet
their expectations.
Your priority is your family,not Aunt Sue's idea of a perfect
turkey, or Uncle Joe'sunsolicited parenting advice.
(09:18):
Right, you are doing hardthings that most people don't
know anything about.
We can give our families grace,but keep our focus on our
calling and the blessings thatcome with it.
Now I know you're thinking,nicole, blessings.
Did you see the morning we justhad?
And I get it.
The challenges are real, but soare the blessings if we take
(09:42):
the time to see them.
First, let's talk about theblessing of your purpose as a
foster and adoptive parent.
You are stepping into a sacredcalling.
James 127 reminds us thatreligion that God, our Father,
accepts as pure and faultless,is this to look after orphans
and widows in their distress andto keep oneself from being
(10:04):
polluted by the world.
You are living out God's heartfor vulnerable children.
That's huge.
You are a vessel of his love,his care, his redemption.
You are doing, though, messyand exhausting and often unseen.
You are doing kingdom work.
(10:26):
That's a big deal, friends.
Second, there's an incrediblegift of witnessing
transformation.
You get to see transformationhappen up close and personal.
Yes, there are challenges.
Yes, that road is long.
That transformation doesn'thappen in an instant most of the
(10:49):
time, but think about themoments when your child feels
safe enough to let down theirguard, or when they achieve
something that maybe they didn'tthink was possible.
Or maybe it's a smile wherethere used to be fear, or a
connection that seemedunreachable at some point.
(11:10):
These moments are like glimpsesof God's handiwork and you get
to see it up close.
You're not just a parent.
You're part of their healingjourney.
Then there's also what ourchildren teach us.
Let's be honest.
Our kids have a way of growingus in ways we didn't necessarily
(11:32):
know that we needed.
They teach us patience,compassion, humility and how to
love unconditionally.
They stretch our hearts andthey remind us what really
matters.
Gratitude as a foster oradoptive parent isn't just
glossing over all of the hardstuff.
It's about acknowledging theblessings within the hard stuff.
(11:56):
Here are some of the things toreflect on.
First is the gift of perspective.
Think about how yourperspective has changed through
all of this.
I know if your journey isanything like mine.
This journey has given you aunique lens to see the world.
I see the world totallydifferent than I used to.
(12:19):
You understand the battles thatsome people face just to
survive because you've seen itin your kids.
You understand grace becauseyou needed it yourself in ways
that maybe you didn't understandthat need before and you
understand what it means tofight for love, even when it's
(12:41):
really, really hard.
And can I tell you something?
When you understand what it isto fight for it, I feel like we
appreciate it more.
We can appreciate it more.
Then we can be thankful for thebeauty of connection.
Think about the moments whenyour child finally lets you in,
(13:01):
when they call you mom or dadfor the first time, or when they
reach for your hand, or thetimes they just let them see.
They let you see theirauthentic selves.
These moments are sacred andnot everybody gets to see them.
We can be thankful for thesupport that we have around us
(13:22):
and our communities.
So, whether it's a spouse, afriend, church, community,
fellow, foster parent, we can bethankful for the people that
stand with us in this journey.
And I'll tell you, if you don'thave those people I talked
about this in the last episodebut if you don't have those
(13:47):
people, pray for it, becausethey are God's provision for you
.
God will give you community.
Just pray for it, and then wecan be thankful also for the
opportunity to be the hands andfeet of Jesus.
What an incredible privilege itis to be able to model some
version of God's love.
You guys, we're not going to doit perfectly and our kids may
(14:11):
not see it yet, but every act ofkindness, every boundary we set
, every prayer you whisper, allof these things are planting
seeds of hope and love andhealing, and you know, it's my
prayer that Even the things thatare unseen have an impact way
(14:35):
beyond what I can even imagine.
So here's a couple of questionsthat you can ask yourself in
order to kind of reflect on yourown journey and maybe come up
with a list of things that youcan be thankful for.
So think through what has Godtaught me through this journey.
Write it down.
Think through what has Godtaught me through this journey.
(14:58):
Write it down, keep a runningtally, because what you will
learn will change from season toseason.
Think about what moments ofconnection can I treasure today,
really, looking at our kids,what moments can we take to have
them help us bake cookies, orjust to ask about each other's
day, really to focus ongratitude as a family?
(15:20):
How do we cultivate that?
How do we treasure each andevery day with our kids?
We can ask ourselves how has myfamily grown through these
challenges?
Because challenges do grow us,all of us.
So how have we grown?
And then what small victoriescan I celebrate and write them
down?
(15:41):
A lot of times we forget how farwe have come, how far our
family has come, how far ourkids have come, because we're
not looking at the big picture.
We forget where we started,right?
So write all of those thingsdown so that you have quick
things you can go to to bethankful for.
(16:02):
Remember the blessings in thisjourney aren't they're not
always big or obvious.
Sometimes they're just little,quiet whispers of God's
faithfulness.
I can't tell you how much myfaith has grown over the years
just because of small momentswhere I have learned to trust
(16:22):
and rely on the Lord.
Over and over and over againand over and over and over again
, he has showed up for me and ithas built my faith in huge ways
over the span of our fostercare and adoption journey.
So I know it's not easy toalways focus on blessings and
(16:45):
gratefulness when things aren'tgoing well.
It's easier to focus on thetantrums, on the hard
conversations, on unmetexpectations, and there are
times that we need to look atthose things.
We do need to grieve thoselosses of unmet expectations
right, but when we shift ourfocus to gratitude, we start to
(17:06):
see beauty in the middle of allof that brokenness.
Think about the Israelites.
So they're wandering in thewilderness, right, and they're
grumbling, always grumbling,about what they didn't have.
But God was providing manna forthem every single day.
They just had to look for it.
(17:28):
The same is true for us.
God's blessings are there, evenin the hard seasons.
We just have to slow down longenough to notice them, and
sometimes that can be the hardpart.
Your child's story, yourfamily's journey it's all a part
of something bigger and that,my friend, is something to be
deeply thankful for.
(17:49):
So, as you head intoThanksgiving, I want to
encourage you.
Choose gratitude, not becauselife is perfect, but because God
is faithful.
Look for those little sparks ofjoy, even in the moments of
hard, and remember you are doingbetter than you think Now.
(18:11):
Speaking of looking ahead,because the new year will be
here before you know it, let'stalk about your health.
My six-week health coachinggroup kicks off January 6th and
this Black Friday I'm offering$50 off to help you start the
year strong.
My group is all about equippingyou to take care of your health
body, mind and spirit.
(18:32):
We focus on nutrition, movement, supporting your nervous system
so you can show up for yourfamily the way that you want to.
The discount code and all thedetails are in the show notes,
so don't wait.
Plan now and set yourself upfor success in 2025.
All right, friends.
That's it for today.
Remember, gratitude isn't aboutperfect circumstances.
(18:55):
It's about choosing to seeGod's goodness even in the mess.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving,give yourself grace and don't
forget to grab that Black Fridaydeal.
I'll see you here next week,same time, same place.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Let me pray for us as we closeout today.
Let me pray for us as we closeout today.
Heavenly Father, thank you forthe blessings of foster care and
(19:19):
adoption.
Lord, thank you for calling usinto this work.
Thank you for giving us theopportunity, lord, to reflect
your glory in our world and inour community.
Thank you for pulling us in todo hard things, for calling us
to things that are bigger thanus, where we have to learn to
(19:41):
rely on you.
Lord, thank you for the gift ofour kids.
Thank you for the up-close viewthat we get to get to know our
kids, to get to know who theyare, to watch them become the
people that you have createdthem to be.
Lord, thank you for that frontrow seat to that.
(20:04):
It is such a blessing.
Lord, help us to be morefocused on our blessings and to
give gratitude every single day.
We love you, jesus.
We trust you In Jesus' name,amen.
Welcome to the Foster Parent Well podcast, where we
have real candid, faith-filledconversations about all things
foster care, adoption and trauma.
I'm your host, nicole T Barlow.
I'm a certified parent trainer,a certified health coach and an
adoptive parent myself.
This is a space where you canfind support so that you can
care for your kids with asteadfast faith, endurance and
(00:53):
joy.
I want you to foster parentwell.
I'm your host, nicole T Barlow.
It's the day before Thanksgivingand if your house looks
anything like mine, there'sprobably a weird mix of chaos
and holiday magic happening.
My kitchen smells like cinnamonand maybe something slightly
burnt because, let's be honest,not everything turns out like I
(01:15):
want it to.
Thank goodness, mysister-in-law and brother are
the ones that host Thanksgiving,and I'm really only responsible
for a few things.
Now I know some of you are alsorunning around trying to pull
everything together.
You're juggling kids andcasseroles, and maybe even an
episode of family drama or two,or maybe Thanksgiving isn't
(01:36):
quite this warm, fuzzy picturefilled with family and loved
ones for you at all.
Wherever you are today, I wantyou to know this episode is just
for you.
Today we're talking all aboutgratitude in the hard seasons.
Gratitude sounds really greatin theory, but what happens when
(01:57):
life gets overwhelming, whenit's messy or when it's not at
all what you expected?
That's where things get real.
In this episode, we're divinginto why gratitude matters, how
it impacts your brain and body,and what it looks like to
cultivate gratitude even in thetoughest seasons of foster and
adoptive parenting.
We're going to keep itpractical, faith-filled, and we
(02:20):
might even add a little bit offunny, because laughter is
basically free therapy, right?
So grab your coffee, hide fromthe laundry for a minute and
let's dig in.
Let's start with the why.
Why does gratitude matter,especially in seasons that feel
overwhelming?
Well, when we choose gratitude,something remarkable happens in
(02:42):
our body and brain.
Gratitude literally rewiresyour brain by strengthening
neural pathways associated withpositivity and resilience.
So think of it like a workoutfor your mental muscles.
The more you practice gratitude, the stronger those pathways
become, and it makes it easierto notice the good, even when
(03:04):
life feels hard.
Gratitude also triggers therelease of dopamine and
serotonin.
We've talked about those on theshow before.
Those are feel-good chemicalsthat boost your mood and calm
your nerves.
So it's like God built in abuilt-in stress reliever right
into us.
Choosing gratitude tells yourbrain hey, things aren't as bad
(03:27):
as they seem and your bodyresponds by relaxing a little.
So, from a nervous systemperspective, gratitude activates
the parasympathetic nervoussystem, which is your body's
kind of rest and digest mode.
This mode is the opposite offight or flight, and all of us
are far too familiar with fightor flight.
(03:50):
Right, when you're in fight orflight, your body is on high
alert and it pumps out stresshormones like cortisol and
adrenaline, because it's notjust your kids that go into
fight or flight mode, you do aswell.
So while these are great foremergencies, staying in this
state long term it can lead toburnout, exhaustion, even health
(04:11):
issues.
Gratitude is the thing thatshifts your body back into a
state of calm.
It reduces those stresshormones and kind of gives your
mind and body a chance torecover, and kind of gives your
mind and body a chance torecover.
Isn't it amazing how Goddesigned us?
It's like he knew we'd need away to kind of recalibrate in
the middle of these hard seasons.
(04:34):
But let's get real.
Practicing gratitude is a loteasier said than done,
especially when you're in atough season.
Foster and adoptive parentingcan come with layers and layers
and layers and layers ofchallenges and sometimes the
weight of it all just feelsimpossible.
It can be really hard, justbeing honest here.
(04:58):
It can be really hard to bethankful for cases that linger
in the system for way too long.
It can be hard to be thankfulfor the case manager that never
returns your call, or formeltdown after meltdown after
meltdown, because, well, I mean,just think about this season
(05:19):
that we're in right now.
Trauma and holidays don't oftenmix well right.
So the truth is, gratitudedoesn't mean that you're
ignoring all of that.
It's not slapping on a fakesmile.
It's not pretending everythingis fine.
It's really choosing to see thegood in spite of all of that
(05:39):
hard.
It's saying God, I don'tunderstand why things are so
tough right now, but I trustthat you are still good.
Philippians 4, 6 through 7reminds us do not be anxious
about anything, but in everysituation, by prayer and
petition with thanksgiving,present your request to God, and
(06:03):
the peace of God, whichtranscends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and mindsin Christ Jesus.
He will give you peace.
You aren't responsible forcultivating that on your own
right.
He will give it to you, and thereality is that the hard is
often God's grace to us.
(06:24):
I was reading in Luke this weekand I was reminded that pride,
which is something that soeasily creeps into our hearts,
right, it keeps us away from God.
It is actually the hard thingsin our lives, these hard things
that we face, that usually drawus closer to him.
(06:46):
It works that pride out of us.
These hard things humble us andthey remind us that we can't do
all of this alone, right?
So these hard things are a gift, and gratitude, you guys in the
hard, is a direct blow to theenemy.
I mean, just think about it.
(07:07):
The enemy thinks that thesehard things are going to turn us
away from God.
And when they instead turn ustowards God, when we can not
only praise God in the midst ofthe hard but also be thankful
for the hard, can you imaginethe blow that that is to the
enemy?
Now, I know some of you arelistening and thinking.
(07:29):
Nicole, I can barely keep myhead above water.
How am I supposed to even thinkabout gratitude?
Friend, I hear you.
If you're in survival moderight now, let me give you
permission to breathe, likeright now.
Take a minute to breathe In andout.
(07:50):
Gratitude doesn't have to be bigor flashy.
It's not about creating thisPinterest perfect moment, right?
It's just sometimes like sayinga quiet thank you, lord when
the baby finally goes to sleepfor their nap, or smiling at
your child when they dosomething small but sweet, even
(08:12):
if the rest of the day has beena mess, when they do something
small but sweet even if the restof the day has been a mess.
Or thanking God for yourmorning coffee and the five
minute of peace it brings.
Or even if it doesn't bringpeace but you still get morning
coffee.
We can take a second, as wetake that first sip, to say
thank you Lord.
I am so thankful for this cupof coffee.
Those small wins matter.
(08:37):
They're proof that God's graceis woven into the fabric of your
every day.
And listen, I will say this too,especially because we're in the
holiday seasons, like part ofwhat we have to let go of is
other people's expectations ofus and the expectations that
they put on us.
We don't have to create thisPinterest perfect life right?
(08:58):
Extended family and friends.
They may have opinions abouthow you're doing Thanksgiving or
how you parent, but here's thedeal you don't have to meet
their expectations.
Your priority is your family,not Aunt Sue's idea of a perfect
turkey, or Uncle Joe'sunsolicited parenting advice.
(09:18):
Right, you are doing hardthings that most people don't
know anything about.
We can give our families grace,but keep our focus on our
calling and the blessings thatcome with it.
Now I know you're thinking,nicole, blessings.
Did you see the morning we justhad?
And I get it.
The challenges are real, but soare the blessings if we take
(09:42):
the time to see them.
First, let's talk about theblessing of your purpose as a
foster and adoptive parent.
You are stepping into a sacredcalling.
James 127 reminds us thatreligion that God, our Father,
accepts as pure and faultless,is this to look after orphans
and widows in their distress andto keep oneself from being
(10:04):
polluted by the world.
You are living out God's heartfor vulnerable children.
That's huge.
You are a vessel of his love,his care, his redemption.
You are doing, though, messyand exhausting and often unseen.
You are doing kingdom work.
(10:26):
That's a big deal, friends.
Second, there's an incrediblegift of witnessing
transformation.
You get to see transformationhappen up close and personal.
Yes, there are challenges.
Yes, that road is long.
That transformation doesn'thappen in an instant most of the
(10:49):
time, but think about themoments when your child feels
safe enough to let down theirguard, or when they achieve
something that maybe they didn'tthink was possible.
Or maybe it's a smile wherethere used to be fear, or a
connection that seemedunreachable at some point.
(11:10):
These moments are like glimpsesof God's handiwork and you get
to see it up close.
You're not just a parent.
You're part of their healingjourney.
Then there's also what ourchildren teach us.
Let's be honest.
Our kids have a way of growingus in ways we didn't necessarily
(11:32):
know that we needed.
They teach us patience,compassion, humility and how to
love unconditionally.
They stretch our hearts andthey remind us what really
matters.
Gratitude as a foster oradoptive parent isn't just
glossing over all of the hardstuff.
It's about acknowledging theblessings within the hard stuff.
(11:56):
Here are some of the things toreflect on.
First is the gift of perspective.
Think about how yourperspective has changed through
all of this.
I know if your journey isanything like mine.
This journey has given you aunique lens to see the world.
I see the world totallydifferent than I used to.
(12:19):
You understand the battles thatsome people face just to
survive because you've seen itin your kids.
You understand grace becauseyou needed it yourself in ways
that maybe you didn't understandthat need before and you
understand what it means tofight for love, even when it's
(12:41):
really, really hard.
And can I tell you something?
When you understand what it isto fight for it, I feel like we
appreciate it more.
We can appreciate it more.
Then we can be thankful for thebeauty of connection.
Think about the moments whenyour child finally lets you in,
(13:01):
when they call you mom or dadfor the first time, or when they
reach for your hand, or thetimes they just let them see.
They let you see theirauthentic selves.
These moments are sacred andnot everybody gets to see them.
We can be thankful for thesupport that we have around us
(13:22):
and our communities.
So, whether it's a spouse, afriend, church, community,
fellow, foster parent, we can bethankful for the people that
stand with us in this journey.
And I'll tell you, if you don'thave those people I talked
about this in the last episodebut if you don't have those
(13:47):
people, pray for it, becausethey are God's provision for you
.
God will give you community.
Just pray for it, and then wecan be thankful also for the
opportunity to be the hands andfeet of Jesus.
What an incredible privilege itis to be able to model some
version of God's love.
You guys, we're not going to doit perfectly and our kids may
(14:11):
not see it yet, but every act ofkindness, every boundary we set
, every prayer you whisper, allof these things are planting
seeds of hope and love andhealing, and you know, it's my
prayer that Even the things thatare unseen have an impact way
(14:35):
beyond what I can even imagine.
So here's a couple of questionsthat you can ask yourself in
order to kind of reflect on yourown journey and maybe come up
with a list of things that youcan be thankful for.
So think through what has Godtaught me through this journey.
Write it down.
Think through what has Godtaught me through this journey.
(14:58):
Write it down, keep a runningtally, because what you will
learn will change from season toseason.
Think about what moments ofconnection can I treasure today,
really, looking at our kids,what moments can we take to have
them help us bake cookies, orjust to ask about each other's
day, really to focus ongratitude as a family?
(15:20):
How do we cultivate that?
How do we treasure each andevery day with our kids?
We can ask ourselves how has myfamily grown through these
challenges?
Because challenges do grow us,all of us.
So how have we grown?
And then what small victoriescan I celebrate and write them
down?
(15:41):
A lot of times we forget how farwe have come, how far our
family has come, how far ourkids have come, because we're
not looking at the big picture.
We forget where we started,right?
So write all of those thingsdown so that you have quick
things you can go to to bethankful for.
(16:02):
Remember the blessings in thisjourney aren't they're not
always big or obvious.
Sometimes they're just little,quiet whispers of God's
faithfulness.
I can't tell you how much myfaith has grown over the years
just because of small momentswhere I have learned to trust
(16:22):
and rely on the Lord.
Over and over and over againand over and over and over again
, he has showed up for me and ithas built my faith in huge ways
over the span of our fostercare and adoption journey.
So I know it's not easy toalways focus on blessings and
(16:45):
gratefulness when things aren'tgoing well.
It's easier to focus on thetantrums, on the hard
conversations, on unmetexpectations, and there are
times that we need to look atthose things.
We do need to grieve thoselosses of unmet expectations
right, but when we shift ourfocus to gratitude, we start to
(17:06):
see beauty in the middle of allof that brokenness.
Think about the Israelites.
So they're wandering in thewilderness, right, and they're
grumbling, always grumbling,about what they didn't have.
But God was providing manna forthem every single day.
They just had to look for it.
(17:28):
The same is true for us.
God's blessings are there, evenin the hard seasons.
We just have to slow down longenough to notice them, and
sometimes that can be the hardpart.
Your child's story, yourfamily's journey it's all a part
of something bigger and that,my friend, is something to be
deeply thankful for.
(17:49):
So, as you head intoThanksgiving, I want to
encourage you.
Choose gratitude, not becauselife is perfect, but because God
is faithful.
Look for those little sparks ofjoy, even in the moments of
hard, and remember you are doingbetter than you think Now.
(18:11):
Speaking of looking ahead,because the new year will be
here before you know it, let'stalk about your health.
My six-week health coachinggroup kicks off January 6th and
this Black Friday I'm offering$50 off to help you start the
year strong.
My group is all about equippingyou to take care of your health
body, mind and spirit.
(18:32):
We focus on nutrition, movement, supporting your nervous system
so you can show up for yourfamily the way that you want to.
The discount code and all thedetails are in the show notes,
so don't wait.
Plan now and set yourself upfor success in 2025.
All right, friends.
That's it for today.
Remember, gratitude isn't aboutperfect circumstances.
(18:55):
It's about choosing to seeGod's goodness even in the mess.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving,give yourself grace and don't
forget to grab that Black Fridaydeal.
I'll see you here next week,same time, same place.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Let me pray for us as we closeout today.
Let me pray for us as we closeout today.
Heavenly Father, thank you forthe blessings of foster care and
(19:19):
adoption.
Lord, thank you for calling usinto this work.
Thank you for giving us theopportunity, lord, to reflect
your glory in our world and inour community.
Thank you for pulling us in todo hard things, for calling us
to things that are bigger thanus, where we have to learn to
(19:41):
rely on you.
Lord, thank you for the gift ofour kids.
Thank you for the up-close viewthat we get to get to know our
kids, to get to know who theyare, to watch them become the
people that you have createdthem to be.
Lord, thank you for that frontrow seat to that.
(20:04):
It is such a blessing.
Lord, help us to be morefocused on our blessings and to
give gratitude every single day.
We love you, jesus.
We trust you In Jesus' name,amen.
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