November 6, 2025 • 28 mins
Searching for a stronger signal in your relationships than on your phone? We sit down with a multigenerational panel, from a Gen Z builder of virtual villages to a family physician who’s practiced for fifty years, to unpack what actually creates belonging across age, tech, and time. The through-line is simple and surprising: depth happens when we schedule community with the same urgency we chase notifications.
We begin with the roots of connection shaped by upheavals, World War II, the Vietnam War, 9/11, and COVID, and explore how those eras formed habits of resilience, service, and community life. A boomer recalls El Paso blocks where any kitchen fed any kid, while a Gen X'er explains the pragmatic career ladder that once defined success. A veteran shows how the military doubled as an education and a crucible. Then Gen Z brings clarity to the pandemic divide: video games and TikTok held friendships together, but the moment the doors opened, long drives replaced laptops because bodies need shared spaces to feel seen.
Technology isn’t the enemy or the answer; it’s a tool. We trade MapQuest memories for late-night meme exchanges and learn to read those pings as bids for connection. We also make a case for analog anchors: handwritten notes that cut through crowded inboxes, monthly letters that slow the scroll, and third spaces, libraries, parks, maker labs, faith halls, where different ages collide and ideas cross-pollinate. The panel champions men’s covenant groups, neighborhood rituals, and family storytellers as the glue that holds a community’s memory in place.
You’ll leave with practical ideas to build intergenerational community: mix your rooms on purpose, pair digital ease with tangible rituals, and put storytelling back at the center. If this conversation sparks a plan for your block, your team, or your circle, subscribe, share the show with a friend, and leave a review with one tradition you’ll revive this week.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_06 (00:00):
Welcome to the Four Bars Podcast.
I'm Ken Leith.
SPEAKER_03 (00:02):
And I'm Patty Leith.
We are your host for somecompelling dialogue, encouraging
our listeners to strengthentheir connections and build
strong communities lifting eachother up and connecting in ways
that matter.
We named the podcast Four Barsas a reference to how hard we
work to find a four barsconnection on our devices.
SPEAKER_06 (00:19):
And we wondered what could happen with relationships
if we worked as hard atconnecting.
SPEAKER_03 (00:24):
Let's find out.
So it's a great panel.
We're just super excited.
We're going to get started withsome questions that we had for
them.
Be thinking about questions thatyou have, um, and and let's get
the conversation going.
SPEAKER_06 (00:40):
Yes.
So uh don't put the mic down toolong, Jim, because we're gonna
come to you first here.
Um, so a couple things here.
I want to start you off.
Oh, everyone heard that we askeveryone about their song.
Favorite song, song that meantsomething to them.
Can you tell us your song andwhy you chose that?
SPEAKER_05 (01:01):
Well, anybody know who Dean Martin is, was?
Okay, all right.
Uh he was from Steubenville,Ohio.
I went to high school inSteubenville, Ohio, and started
taking art lessons at age 14from Dean Martin's voice
teacher.
unknown (01:16):
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05 (01:16):
Uh and so my wife and I, uh unfortunately I'm
widowed now.
My Ann's been gone two and ahalf years, but our love song
was by Dean Martin, That's aMoray.
SPEAKER_06 (01:28):
That's a perfect reason.
Thank you for sharing.
Okay, so first question we have,Jim, if you would.
How did your generation's way ofconnecting with family,
neighbors, and friends shape thesense of belonging?
And what lessons couldstrengthen intergenerational
communities today based uponthat?
SPEAKER_05 (01:52):
Given a lot of thought to that, uh, how much my
life, my generation, is actuallyinfluenced by World War II.
Just like your generations,9-11, uh, we can go on and on,
uh, uh, the Vietnam War, etcetera.
Um, my dad was a pipe fitter.
We lived in a trailer and wemoved wherever there was work.
(02:14):
Uh and uh actually, the way Iended up in Arkansas, I was born
in Little Rock, never lived inArkansas, and my mom owned an
acre of land in South Arkansasin the Delta that might have
been worth$10, but it allowed meto come to Arkansas as an
in-state student and came herein 60, fell in love with
(02:35):
Northwest Arkansas.
But getting back to the family,I've just it's a it's a passion
that I've had, moving around alot.
And then my wife as well, herdad was career military, he was
uh landed at Normandy day two,wounded in Battle of the Bulge,
career military.
Uh so they moved a lot.
(02:55):
So the idea of being in oneplace more than two years and
establishing family, it just itliterally became a passion, uh
to even to the point of choosinga career, going into family
medicine, which wasintergenerational.
Uh and I look back at thosealmost 50 years now of
(03:16):
practicing medicine here inBentonville, and it's it's like
a trifecta as I look back when Ifirst started, because everybody
grew old with me.
And the generation, the first10, 12, 15 years, the fear was
AIDS.
And then as we all got older,then the fear became cancer
(03:40):
because that was becomingcommon.
And then that last third wasaging and dementia.
So you can see from that theintergenerational, it's like a
timeline.
I'm I'm able to look back, justas you do, as you look back on
your family history, yourbackground.
But uh it's just I think it's acore element.
(04:03):
Uh and walking over here, sincemy daughter wouldn't let me
drive, uh thinking about whatcan I say that would be
profound, you know, and itoccurred to me thinking about
how w much we need community.
And it's not just us, evenanimals.
You know, we we're in poultryland, okay?
Uh and we think about free-rangechickens, but you look at
(04:26):
chickens, they all hang outtogether.
You know, so we're no different.
We want to hang out, but the theissue I think is we need to hang
out intergenerational becauseit's real easy to get
comfortable in our age group.
Um as I look out here, I'mlooking at at mixed, I see
almost equal number of men andand women.
(04:47):
Guys, ladies, y'all have soulsisters, okay, that you're close
to.
We don't have that as men.
We've got golfing buddies andfishing buddies and and that
type of thing.
Uh and early on, I became awareof the need for me as a man to
have a true soul brother.
And now for 45 years, I haveit's there's been as many 12 of
(05:11):
us that we meet every Thursdaymorning uh and we're a covenant
relationship till death us dopart.
In fact, we're we're dying off.
I've got one just died Sunday,uh dear dear friend.
But where I'm going with that isthe importance of community.
And I think Bentonville sets anexample that the rest of the
(05:33):
state, the rest of the nationcan look at because for the work
that you do, the work thatothers do, uh, we're truly an
intergenerational community, butwe have to be intentional.
And I like that word, brother,you mentioned being intentional.
So with that, that's why I'mhere.
SPEAKER_03 (05:52):
Other thoughts on that question from the other
panelists?
Like how your generationactually shapes your way of
connecting with family, friends,and neighbors actually shapes
the way that you build communitynow.
SPEAKER_06 (06:06):
It's hard to go after.
SPEAKER_03 (06:08):
Fair enough.
SPEAKER_04 (06:10):
It is hard to go after that.
Um Jim, I I think the one thingthat maybe I didn't hear from
you that happened in our in mygeneration is that well, first
of all, I grew up on a cityblock in El Paso, Texas.
And and uh in the suburbs,fortunately, because my my
parents initially started outright next to the railroad
tracks in downtown El Paso.
(06:32):
But living in the suburbs andgrowing up in the can I guess it
fifties we that lived in that onthat block, we all knew each
other.
And you know, I ran around withthe kids of my neighbors and and
uh whenever we got hungry,whoever's house we were closest
(06:54):
to, we would just kind of movein there and the parents would
just feed us.
You know, we were we were justpart of the extended family.
And and I think I think thatthat sort of freedom that you
had to know everybody that youlive with or nearby, um, you
know, I didn't see that anymore.
You got people that live on topof each other here now, and they
hardly even speak to each other.
They're so busy getting readyand going off to work and doing
(07:16):
their own thing that that Idon't think they have that sense
of of neighborly community likelike you know we had uh many
years ago.
SPEAKER_03 (07:27):
Great, thank you.
Um the next question, um, we'regonna ask Malia to start us off.
We're gonna dig into a littlebit about technology and change.
How has your generation umadapted to major shifts in
technology?
And what can that teach us allabout bridging generations
(07:48):
divides in the community?
SPEAKER_02 (07:51):
Honestly, our generation grew up with
technology, and the technologywas changing all the time.
So adapting to whatever new techis coming out doesn't even feel
like adapting.
It feels like the normal for us.
The one time where I really feellike we had to adapt with
technology was during COVID.
We had to change how weconnected and how we used
(08:12):
technology.
And just to level set where mygeneration was at the time, we
were in high school and college,and COVID kind of divided us
because those are really bigdevelopmental times.
And being isolated for two yearswhen you're in high school is
gonna have a very differenteffect on you than if you're in
a job or college or internship,if you've already graduated high
(08:35):
school.
I was part of that older groupof Gen Z.
And when we were teens, wereally rejected institutions,
and that was a big part ofcommunity.
And teenagers, the point ofteenagers in a society is to
question the status quo.
It's to question and rejectparts of society.
They come in with fresh eyes andfresh ideas and they look around
(08:58):
and they go, why are we doing itlike this?
This part feels like it's notthe healthiest for us.
Why do we do it like this?
And my generation looked around,didn't really like institutions.
And then you get to your 20s andyou start to look around and go,
maybe we threw the baby out withthe bathwater, maybe some parts
of that were good.
My generation was looking aroundright before COVID and realizing
(09:22):
that when we rejectedinstitutions and a lot of like
organized things, we were losingcommunity.
And right when we realized weneeded that community and we had
to figure out how to rebuildcommunity, COVID hit and we were
staring at our bedroom walls.
My friends and I used technologyto adapt, and everyone did.
We all know how popular TikTokgot during COVID.
(09:45):
But my friends and Ispecifically would play in video
games together.
We would have this 3D spacewhere we could build a village,
we could grow food, we couldpull pranks on each other, we
could laugh and talk with eachother.
We were connected all of thetime.
But as soon as COVID ended, wedidn't go in that game anymore.
We drove multiple hours to seeeach other instead of opening
(10:08):
our laptop that was right nextto us.
Because even though that gamegave us connection all of the
time, we were still lonely.
Technology wasn't enough for usto have that sense of community
that we needed.
And I think that's the biggesttakeaway from when we did have
to adapt to tech was that wereally need to be building
spaces where we can cometogether as a community, where
(10:31):
we can have third spaces andmeet people at different life
stages than us to get advice, tolearn.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (10:39):
Thank you, Valia.
Any other panelists want todiscuss technology and impact?
Any input?
SPEAKER_01 (10:49):
I think that's really insightful about COVID.
Uh my kids actually, uh, my songraduated college during COVID,
and I work with a lot of Gen Zin my in my current role, but in
my previous role as well, and inthese roles where it's really
important to connect withwhether it's clients or the
public.
(11:09):
And I think the rest of us,older generations, really
underestimated the how quicklydamage can be done to an entire
cohort of people that are not,they're at that very formative
age and not getting the practiceof just connecting with other
(11:31):
people, whether it's forpersonal, like you're talking
about, or for professional.
And, you know, I I think we wereall just kind of shocked when we
got these sorry kids back in theoffice.
We're like, they don't know howto look people in the eye.
They don't know how to shake ahand.
And it wasn't anybody's fault.
It was it was the circumstance,and then it's on us to, you
(11:53):
know, figure out how do we getnurture this skill and create
the space, like you said.
SPEAKER_00 (12:03):
Malia, I think you did a masterful job of
explaining that.
I mean, I really do.
We should snap it up because Ithink that was beautiful.
That was beautiful, that wasbeautiful, and and I don't I
don't know how much I have toadd, but I do think it's very
important that we surroundourselves with people whose
perspective can illuminatesomething that we don't
necessarily think about.
(12:24):
So, for example, I am one ofeight in some of my younger
siblings.
The way they bond with me is notin the way that I bond with
them.
So I want to take them out tothe park, go have a burger.
Like they want to send meTikToks at three in the morning,
and and to make them feel seenand valued and like I care about
that, I need to watch thatvideo, laugh at it, and respond
(12:47):
to them because that is theirway of connecting.
You know what I mean?
And so um I have a uniqueperspective because my
generation, the millennials, weremember what it's like going to
MapQuest.
Do y'all remember MapQuest outthere?
Raise your hand.
Come on now, like we remember,you know, I used I watched my
mom print off like 30 pages ofcome on now, like seriously.
(13:12):
We were we were going toOrlando, Florida from Arkansas.
She printed off 30 pages ofdirections and had to remember
to look at signs and read.
And so when the the app cameout, Apple Maps, we was like,
hold on, like what?
It'll tell you where to go.
Like, you don't have to doanything.
Um, and so you know, I rememberwhat it was like before
(13:33):
technology just becameingratiated and everything.
And so, all of that to say I canbe a little bit biased and I can
see things a certain way, but Imean, Malia's perspective and my
little sister's perspective, itjust helps me view technology,
connection, and belonging in away that I would have never done
so.
So I would encourage you all to,you know, do the same.
SPEAKER_02 (13:55):
And Jeremiah, I want to add on to something you said.
You mentioned that it's good tosurround ourselves with people
whose opinions and ideasilluminate things and make us
think about new perspectives.
When I send my friends a TikTok,it's usually a TikTok that has
some commentary on an idea orsociety.
Like that's what I'm sending.
It's a bid for connection in thearea of thinking about new
(14:15):
ideas.
So when you said that, I justwas like, hmm, that's a cool.
SPEAKER_05 (14:22):
I'd like to approach you with a little different
perspective.
Uh I'm uh firmly entrenched intechnology.
I don't know much about it, butI'm entrenched in it.
But let's not forget the benefitof a handwritten note.
Let me share a story.
(14:42):
Uh those of us that are oldenough, when Bill Clinton was
governor, youngest governor inthe United States, got beat by a
man by the name of Frank White.
Frank White campaigned onreducing waiting time at the DMV
office and beat Bill Clinton.
Now I campaigned againstClinton, and we're not supposed
(15:05):
to talk politics, but uh anyway,his his speech that he gave when
he lost the election to FrankWhite was so profound.
I'm a notewriter.
I like to write notes.
And I was I wrote him a note, ahandwritten note, and I said,
Governor Clinton, I first ofall, you need to know that not
(15:26):
only did I not vote for you, Iworked against you, but I
appreciate your service as thegovernor.
And I'll in his speech he saidthat maybe the Lord was telling
him he needed to give uppolitics.
And I said, Let me assure youthat I think there's a place for
you in politics.
Wasn't very long I received afour-page handwritten letter
(15:48):
from Bill Clinton.
Even while president, wecommunicated with some notes.
If you were to go to yourmailbox today and look, and if
you had six envelopes there, ofthose six, five of them were
typed, one of them was addressedhandwritten, which one would you
(16:09):
open?
Yeah.
So let's not forget the power.
I underline the word, the power.
It's like touch.
The power of touch, but thepower of a handwritten note.
I cherish those notes.
Uh and I'm sure you, if you goback and you pull out some
things, uh, you know, you'regonna there's ones you're gonna
(16:33):
cherish.
So technology is wonderful, butthere's still the power of a
handwritten note.
SPEAKER_02 (16:39):
And I actually, I love that you pointed that out.
I have a shoebox full ofhandwritten notes and letters
from all my friends or teachersor parents.
And my friends and I, there'stwo of my friends who have
gotten a bit overwhelmed withhow often we have to check our
texts and how often we'reupdating each other about the
little things in life.
So we've switched to snail mill.
We handwrite each other lettersonce every month or two, and we
(17:02):
get to catch each other up onthe big things without feeling
the pressure to constantly checkour texts or call each other.
So I just we still do that.
And there's a bit of a comebackwhere people are trying to be a
bit more detached.
SPEAKER_06 (17:14):
Yeah.
Excellent, excellent.
Thank you all.
I love that dialogue and all thedifferent perspectives.
Give you really a quick thing ofagain, challenges during, for
example, COVID.
We were driving through town,and uh thank you for telling me
move it up.
Um, as we were driving throughtown, we saw over on um central
(17:34):
there was corner central in asecond, two people standing
there with their mask on.
And they were younger people,you could tell.
And you know, COVID just rampanteverywhere.
We're not you know concerned.
I'm not concerned sure what'sgoing on.
But two people humaninteraction.
But what you could tell by theeyes, and Patty and I looked at
each other and go, they'relearning the flirt with a mask
(17:57):
on, can't touch, on the corner.
And it's like, so I mean, humanhuman nature, I mean, we still
have this connections point thatyou need to make to your point,
Jim, and then to all of you.
Um, so thank you.
We're gonna move to our next uhquestion here, and that's gonna
be for Lee Love.
And this one's gonna bereferring to education and work.
(18:19):
And for this one, Lee, if youwould, how did your generation
approach uh approach toeducation or to career shape
opportunities to connect withand learn from other
generations?
SPEAKER_01 (18:31):
Yeah, thank you.
Um, so when I was asked to be onthis panel, I thought I have I
can talk for a long time, but II'm trying to be a good
representative of my generation.
So I did a little informalFacebook poll because I'm a
power gen X Facebook user.
And uh the top three values thatsurfaced were grit,
(18:57):
self-reliance, and then a lot ofother words, some of which are
appropriate or not for thisvenue.
But if you have them on acontinuum, call it from realism
to cynicism.
Um, but really were verypragmatic.
And so, you know, kind ofgrounded in that, because I can
definitely identify with thoseuh values.
(19:20):
I mean to think about work andschool, if you think about it,
uh Gen X was really thegeneration and maybe the only
generation where we were notonly, you know, expected to go
to college, we were told thiswas the only path that would
lead to success.
(19:40):
And, you know, the boomers thatcame before us, it was still
somewhat of a privilege.
The millennials that came after,I feel like there is even more
freedom.
There's the gig economy, there'sentrepreneur life.
We, you know, despite all of ourrebel uh exterior image and
independence and self-reliance,I feel like our generation
(20:04):
really did follow this linearpath of if we do these steps, we
will be successful.
And I think that really shapedour, you know, the way we
approach school, the way weapproach professional life, just
go through the steps.
And, you know, personally, I wasin school for business, I was in
(20:25):
an accounting class, I'm talkingto the guidance counselor.
He's like, you know, how do youlike accounting?
I'm like, it's easy.
I can do accounting.
It's like, oh my gosh, that'syour major because it's not
easy.
And so it was just a pragmaticchoice.
Did I have a passion for debitsand credits?
Not really, but it was just apragmatic choice.
I talked to a lot of peers andit's the same thing, whether
(20:46):
it's, you know, how we'rechoosing our neighborhood or
what, you know, what school wewent to, what we studied, the
kinds of jobs we chose.
Um, you know, I felt like wejust followed this linear path.
And I see the next generationand I love the questioning.
(21:06):
And sometimes when you're inyour you have your work hat on,
it's frustrating because thatgeneration is behaving
differently.
But it's just like for theparents out there, it's like
with when you have independentkids or kids that have a
different viewpoint of you,you're like, yes, do it.
Don't, don't just follow therules that I thought I had to
follow.
(21:27):
So I do, I do think that um, Ido think that impacted our
generation, those those rules wewere expected to follow.
And I think today it's impactingin the workplace because whether
it is generational or whether itis life stage, you have a lot of
Gen X that are kind of runningthe show.
And there is kind of thatbristling of the the next
(21:52):
generations pushing on us tomake things different, to
improve our institutions.
SPEAKER_06 (21:58):
So any other feedback?
SPEAKER_04 (22:18):
Um in my generation uh that there wasn't always the
opportunity to go to college.
Like you said, it was more of aprivilege than than anything
else, and and not everybody wasseeking that that path.
Uh for a lot of us, especiallyduring that time, uh during the
(22:39):
Vietnam War, uh the path tocollege was through the
military.
The military rolled out thisreal beautiful plan where they
would uh take care of yourcollege for you as long as you
serve a minimum of four yearsand survive.
Uh and and uh and so that seemedlike like the easiest path to
(23:01):
education for most of us.
But the real education we weregetting was serving in the
military.
That that was the I mean, youyou couldn't even pay us enough
for that kind of education thatwe were getting back then.
And in my case, I stuck aroundfor 20 years.
So the um the promise of aneducation was gonna sun down two
(23:26):
years after I retired from themilitary.
So I didn't even get a chance touse that.
Fortunately for me, they sent meto to college while I was in in
the Marine Corps, and and I didmanage to get my education in
art back then.
SPEAKER_03 (23:38):
Interesting.
Yeah, thanks.
SPEAKER_05 (23:44):
Tailgating on what's been said uh and the value, the
incredible value of technology.
I mean, just thinking back wherewe were 10 years ago and where
we are now.
But then also uh not onlytechnology, but the concept of
building community.
And as I've listened to the tothe four of you, and as we would
(24:06):
talk and interact, it's sort ofthe question would come up is
where are our storytellers?
We can't lose sight of ourstorytellers because that's a
connection that bringsgeneration to generation to
generation.
Uh, and it's almost like we needto have that as the forefront
(24:27):
because the clans, whatever,there was always a storyteller.
Now, I've sort of become thestoryteller for my clan.
The problem is I've told so manystories, I don't know which ones
are true and which ones are not.
Uh my daughter's sitting outthere, and my son-in-law, the
(24:47):
they heard countless UncleDeacon stories.
Uh, but uh a dear friend,they're here.
We I'd hope they would be here,Jack and Marguerite Thomas.
And Jack is he and I, he's theformer mayor of Park City, Utah,
now lives in Bentonville.
Uh, and uh he and I got totalking about storytellers.
I've got an Uncle Deacon, he'sgot me beat.
(25:08):
He's got an Uncle Frank.
And Uncle Frank got struck bylightning and it changed his
polarity to where he wasanti-gravity, and they would
have to put lead in his shoesbecause he would go up to the
sky.
And they couldn't find UncleFrank because he would be up in
a tree up somewhere.
And obviously Uncle Frank neverexisted, but how that would
(25:30):
connect the family.
So if you talk, if when you see,if you meet Jack, say, how's I
and it may not be Frank, whoeverhe is, but he may be up in a
tree or in the cloud orwhatever.
But how we can take storytellingand we can connect our family,
and that my story will connectto your story.
(25:51):
And it's not an age issue, butit but it's that connection,
it's that DNA that's part of oursoul.
So let's not forget thestorytellers.
SPEAKER_03 (26:02):
Storytelling is key, yeah.
Awesome.
So our next question uh is Rayhas agreed to lead off, but I'm
gonna pause before I uh ask thequestion.
And Ray, can you tell us aboutyour song that you picked?
Staying Staying Alive.
SPEAKER_04 (26:21):
I I actually picked two, but staying alive, well
that's that's pretty obvious.
Well uh but uh but I'm a childof the of the sixties and and uh
you know that was that was myteenage years uh from the the
assassination of Kennedy upuntil um the whenever I managed
(26:44):
to get out of high school.
But uh the the staying alive isuh first of all it's it's uh
it's a movie and a song that mywife and I both enjoy because
it's peppy.
The Bee Gees, for some reason,they were so connected to how
teenagers interacted with oneanother, and everything that
they say is it or sang about orwrote about is so so very true,
(27:08):
and and that's that's whythey're you know they're still
famous to this day, even thoughI think there's only one of them
remaining.
Yeah, yeah, awesome.
Yeah, and and then the othersong was uh the The Way We Were
by uh Barbara Streisand, andthat was a song from a movie
that my wife went to see, and mywife and I went to see when when
(27:30):
we were dating.
SPEAKER_03 (27:32):
Very cool, very cool.
The Four Bars podcast has beenbrought to you by Edges Inc., a
growth advisory firm based inBentonville, Arkansas.
I founded the company in 2001.
SPEAKER_06 (27:42):
Edges promotes growth people, companies, and
ideas.
Our team collaboration toolcalled Interface Methods is a
basis for teams to work togethermore collaboratively, understand
each other, and acceptdifferences and address
challenges together.
SPEAKER_03 (27:55):
We also started a nonprofit called Unform Your
Bias.
We teach kids and their adultinfluencers how to utilize
storytelling as a means toreduce bias in the world.
We hope you'll check us out,subscribe to our podcast, and
look at our website.
Welcome to the Four Bars Podcast.
I'm Ken Leith.
SPEAKER_03 (00:02):
And I'm Patty Leith.
We are your host for somecompelling dialogue, encouraging
our listeners to strengthentheir connections and build
strong communities lifting eachother up and connecting in ways
that matter.
We named the podcast Four Barsas a reference to how hard we
work to find a four barsconnection on our devices.
SPEAKER_06 (00:19):
And we wondered what could happen with relationships
if we worked as hard atconnecting.
SPEAKER_03 (00:24):
Let's find out.
So it's a great panel.
We're just super excited.
We're going to get started withsome questions that we had for
them.
Be thinking about questions thatyou have, um, and and let's get
the conversation going.
SPEAKER_06 (00:40):
Yes.
So uh don't put the mic down toolong, Jim, because we're gonna
come to you first here.
Um, so a couple things here.
I want to start you off.
Oh, everyone heard that we askeveryone about their song.
Favorite song, song that meantsomething to them.
Can you tell us your song andwhy you chose that?
SPEAKER_05 (01:01):
Well, anybody know who Dean Martin is, was?
Okay, all right.
Uh he was from Steubenville,Ohio.
I went to high school inSteubenville, Ohio, and started
taking art lessons at age 14from Dean Martin's voice
teacher.
unknown (01:16):
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05 (01:16):
Uh and so my wife and I, uh unfortunately I'm
widowed now.
My Ann's been gone two and ahalf years, but our love song
was by Dean Martin, That's aMoray.
SPEAKER_06 (01:28):
That's a perfect reason.
Thank you for sharing.
Okay, so first question we have,Jim, if you would.
How did your generation's way ofconnecting with family,
neighbors, and friends shape thesense of belonging?
And what lessons couldstrengthen intergenerational
communities today based uponthat?
SPEAKER_05 (01:52):
Given a lot of thought to that, uh, how much my
life, my generation, is actuallyinfluenced by World War II.
Just like your generations,9-11, uh, we can go on and on,
uh, uh, the Vietnam War, etcetera.
Um, my dad was a pipe fitter.
We lived in a trailer and wemoved wherever there was work.
(02:14):
Uh and uh actually, the way Iended up in Arkansas, I was born
in Little Rock, never lived inArkansas, and my mom owned an
acre of land in South Arkansasin the Delta that might have
been worth$10, but it allowed meto come to Arkansas as an
in-state student and came herein 60, fell in love with
(02:35):
Northwest Arkansas.
But getting back to the family,I've just it's a it's a passion
that I've had, moving around alot.
And then my wife as well, herdad was career military, he was
uh landed at Normandy day two,wounded in Battle of the Bulge,
career military.
Uh so they moved a lot.
(02:55):
So the idea of being in oneplace more than two years and
establishing family, it just itliterally became a passion, uh
to even to the point of choosinga career, going into family
medicine, which wasintergenerational.
Uh and I look back at thosealmost 50 years now of
(03:16):
practicing medicine here inBentonville, and it's it's like
a trifecta as I look back when Ifirst started, because everybody
grew old with me.
And the generation, the first10, 12, 15 years, the fear was
AIDS.
And then as we all got older,then the fear became cancer
(03:40):
because that was becomingcommon.
And then that last third wasaging and dementia.
So you can see from that theintergenerational, it's like a
timeline.
I'm I'm able to look back, justas you do, as you look back on
your family history, yourbackground.
But uh it's just I think it's acore element.
(04:03):
Uh and walking over here, sincemy daughter wouldn't let me
drive, uh thinking about whatcan I say that would be
profound, you know, and itoccurred to me thinking about
how w much we need community.
And it's not just us, evenanimals.
You know, we we're in poultryland, okay?
Uh and we think about free-rangechickens, but you look at
(04:26):
chickens, they all hang outtogether.
You know, so we're no different.
We want to hang out, but the theissue I think is we need to hang
out intergenerational becauseit's real easy to get
comfortable in our age group.
Um as I look out here, I'mlooking at at mixed, I see
almost equal number of men andand women.
(04:47):
Guys, ladies, y'all have soulsisters, okay, that you're close
to.
We don't have that as men.
We've got golfing buddies andfishing buddies and and that
type of thing.
Uh and early on, I became awareof the need for me as a man to
have a true soul brother.
And now for 45 years, I haveit's there's been as many 12 of
(05:11):
us that we meet every Thursdaymorning uh and we're a covenant
relationship till death us dopart.
In fact, we're we're dying off.
I've got one just died Sunday,uh dear dear friend.
But where I'm going with that isthe importance of community.
And I think Bentonville sets anexample that the rest of the
(05:33):
state, the rest of the nationcan look at because for the work
that you do, the work thatothers do, uh, we're truly an
intergenerational community, butwe have to be intentional.
And I like that word, brother,you mentioned being intentional.
So with that, that's why I'mhere.
SPEAKER_03 (05:52):
Other thoughts on that question from the other
panelists?
Like how your generationactually shapes your way of
connecting with family, friends,and neighbors actually shapes
the way that you build communitynow.
SPEAKER_06 (06:06):
It's hard to go after.
SPEAKER_03 (06:08):
Fair enough.
SPEAKER_04 (06:10):
It is hard to go after that.
Um Jim, I I think the one thingthat maybe I didn't hear from
you that happened in our in mygeneration is that well, first
of all, I grew up on a cityblock in El Paso, Texas.
And and uh in the suburbs,fortunately, because my my
parents initially started outright next to the railroad
tracks in downtown El Paso.
(06:32):
But living in the suburbs andgrowing up in the can I guess it
fifties we that lived in that onthat block, we all knew each
other.
And you know, I ran around withthe kids of my neighbors and and
uh whenever we got hungry,whoever's house we were closest
(06:54):
to, we would just kind of movein there and the parents would
just feed us.
You know, we were we were justpart of the extended family.
And and I think I think thatthat sort of freedom that you
had to know everybody that youlive with or nearby, um, you
know, I didn't see that anymore.
You got people that live on topof each other here now, and they
hardly even speak to each other.
They're so busy getting readyand going off to work and doing
(07:16):
their own thing that that Idon't think they have that sense
of of neighborly community likelike you know we had uh many
years ago.
SPEAKER_03 (07:27):
Great, thank you.
Um the next question, um, we'regonna ask Malia to start us off.
We're gonna dig into a littlebit about technology and change.
How has your generation umadapted to major shifts in
technology?
And what can that teach us allabout bridging generations
(07:48):
divides in the community?
SPEAKER_02 (07:51):
Honestly, our generation grew up with
technology, and the technologywas changing all the time.
So adapting to whatever new techis coming out doesn't even feel
like adapting.
It feels like the normal for us.
The one time where I really feellike we had to adapt with
technology was during COVID.
We had to change how weconnected and how we used
(08:12):
technology.
And just to level set where mygeneration was at the time, we
were in high school and college,and COVID kind of divided us
because those are really bigdevelopmental times.
And being isolated for two yearswhen you're in high school is
gonna have a very differenteffect on you than if you're in
a job or college or internship,if you've already graduated high
(08:35):
school.
I was part of that older groupof Gen Z.
And when we were teens, wereally rejected institutions,
and that was a big part ofcommunity.
And teenagers, the point ofteenagers in a society is to
question the status quo.
It's to question and rejectparts of society.
They come in with fresh eyes andfresh ideas and they look around
(08:58):
and they go, why are we doing itlike this?
This part feels like it's notthe healthiest for us.
Why do we do it like this?
And my generation looked around,didn't really like institutions.
And then you get to your 20s andyou start to look around and go,
maybe we threw the baby out withthe bathwater, maybe some parts
of that were good.
My generation was looking aroundright before COVID and realizing
(09:22):
that when we rejectedinstitutions and a lot of like
organized things, we were losingcommunity.
And right when we realized weneeded that community and we had
to figure out how to rebuildcommunity, COVID hit and we were
staring at our bedroom walls.
My friends and I used technologyto adapt, and everyone did.
We all know how popular TikTokgot during COVID.
(09:45):
But my friends and Ispecifically would play in video
games together.
We would have this 3D spacewhere we could build a village,
we could grow food, we couldpull pranks on each other, we
could laugh and talk with eachother.
We were connected all of thetime.
But as soon as COVID ended, wedidn't go in that game anymore.
We drove multiple hours to seeeach other instead of opening
(10:08):
our laptop that was right nextto us.
Because even though that gamegave us connection all of the
time, we were still lonely.
Technology wasn't enough for usto have that sense of community
that we needed.
And I think that's the biggesttakeaway from when we did have
to adapt to tech was that wereally need to be building
spaces where we can cometogether as a community, where
(10:31):
we can have third spaces andmeet people at different life
stages than us to get advice, tolearn.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (10:39):
Thank you, Valia.
Any other panelists want todiscuss technology and impact?
Any input?
SPEAKER_01 (10:49):
I think that's really insightful about COVID.
Uh my kids actually, uh, my songraduated college during COVID,
and I work with a lot of Gen Zin my in my current role, but in
my previous role as well, and inthese roles where it's really
important to connect withwhether it's clients or the
public.
(11:09):
And I think the rest of us,older generations, really
underestimated the how quicklydamage can be done to an entire
cohort of people that are not,they're at that very formative
age and not getting the practiceof just connecting with other
(11:31):
people, whether it's forpersonal, like you're talking
about, or for professional.
And, you know, I I think we wereall just kind of shocked when we
got these sorry kids back in theoffice.
We're like, they don't know howto look people in the eye.
They don't know how to shake ahand.
And it wasn't anybody's fault.
It was it was the circumstance,and then it's on us to, you
(11:53):
know, figure out how do we getnurture this skill and create
the space, like you said.
SPEAKER_00 (12:03):
Malia, I think you did a masterful job of
explaining that.
I mean, I really do.
We should snap it up because Ithink that was beautiful.
That was beautiful, that wasbeautiful, and and I don't I
don't know how much I have toadd, but I do think it's very
important that we surroundourselves with people whose
perspective can illuminatesomething that we don't
necessarily think about.
(12:24):
So, for example, I am one ofeight in some of my younger
siblings.
The way they bond with me is notin the way that I bond with
them.
So I want to take them out tothe park, go have a burger.
Like they want to send meTikToks at three in the morning,
and and to make them feel seenand valued and like I care about
that, I need to watch thatvideo, laugh at it, and respond
(12:47):
to them because that is theirway of connecting.
You know what I mean?
And so um I have a uniqueperspective because my
generation, the millennials, weremember what it's like going to
MapQuest.
Do y'all remember MapQuest outthere?
Raise your hand.
Come on now, like we remember,you know, I used I watched my
mom print off like 30 pages ofcome on now, like seriously.
(13:12):
We were we were going toOrlando, Florida from Arkansas.
She printed off 30 pages ofdirections and had to remember
to look at signs and read.
And so when the the app cameout, Apple Maps, we was like,
hold on, like what?
It'll tell you where to go.
Like, you don't have to doanything.
Um, and so you know, I rememberwhat it was like before
(13:33):
technology just becameingratiated and everything.
And so, all of that to say I canbe a little bit biased and I can
see things a certain way, but Imean, Malia's perspective and my
little sister's perspective, itjust helps me view technology,
connection, and belonging in away that I would have never done
so.
So I would encourage you all to,you know, do the same.
SPEAKER_02 (13:55):
And Jeremiah, I want to add on to something you said.
You mentioned that it's good tosurround ourselves with people
whose opinions and ideasilluminate things and make us
think about new perspectives.
When I send my friends a TikTok,it's usually a TikTok that has
some commentary on an idea orsociety.
Like that's what I'm sending.
It's a bid for connection in thearea of thinking about new
(14:15):
ideas.
So when you said that, I justwas like, hmm, that's a cool.
SPEAKER_05 (14:22):
I'd like to approach you with a little different
perspective.
Uh I'm uh firmly entrenched intechnology.
I don't know much about it, butI'm entrenched in it.
But let's not forget the benefitof a handwritten note.
Let me share a story.
(14:42):
Uh those of us that are oldenough, when Bill Clinton was
governor, youngest governor inthe United States, got beat by a
man by the name of Frank White.
Frank White campaigned onreducing waiting time at the DMV
office and beat Bill Clinton.
Now I campaigned againstClinton, and we're not supposed
(15:05):
to talk politics, but uh anyway,his his speech that he gave when
he lost the election to FrankWhite was so profound.
I'm a notewriter.
I like to write notes.
And I was I wrote him a note, ahandwritten note, and I said,
Governor Clinton, I first ofall, you need to know that not
(15:26):
only did I not vote for you, Iworked against you, but I
appreciate your service as thegovernor.
And I'll in his speech he saidthat maybe the Lord was telling
him he needed to give uppolitics.
And I said, Let me assure youthat I think there's a place for
you in politics.
Wasn't very long I received afour-page handwritten letter
(15:48):
from Bill Clinton.
Even while president, wecommunicated with some notes.
If you were to go to yourmailbox today and look, and if
you had six envelopes there, ofthose six, five of them were
typed, one of them was addressedhandwritten, which one would you
(16:09):
open?
Yeah.
So let's not forget the power.
I underline the word, the power.
It's like touch.
The power of touch, but thepower of a handwritten note.
I cherish those notes.
Uh and I'm sure you, if you goback and you pull out some
things, uh, you know, you'regonna there's ones you're gonna
(16:33):
cherish.
So technology is wonderful, butthere's still the power of a
handwritten note.
SPEAKER_02 (16:39):
And I actually, I love that you pointed that out.
I have a shoebox full ofhandwritten notes and letters
from all my friends or teachersor parents.
And my friends and I, there'stwo of my friends who have
gotten a bit overwhelmed withhow often we have to check our
texts and how often we'reupdating each other about the
little things in life.
So we've switched to snail mill.
We handwrite each other lettersonce every month or two, and we
(17:02):
get to catch each other up onthe big things without feeling
the pressure to constantly checkour texts or call each other.
So I just we still do that.
And there's a bit of a comebackwhere people are trying to be a
bit more detached.
SPEAKER_06 (17:14):
Yeah.
Excellent, excellent.
Thank you all.
I love that dialogue and all thedifferent perspectives.
Give you really a quick thing ofagain, challenges during, for
example, COVID.
We were driving through town,and uh thank you for telling me
move it up.
Um, as we were driving throughtown, we saw over on um central
(17:34):
there was corner central in asecond, two people standing
there with their mask on.
And they were younger people,you could tell.
And you know, COVID just rampanteverywhere.
We're not you know concerned.
I'm not concerned sure what'sgoing on.
But two people humaninteraction.
But what you could tell by theeyes, and Patty and I looked at
each other and go, they'relearning the flirt with a mask
(17:57):
on, can't touch, on the corner.
And it's like, so I mean, humanhuman nature, I mean, we still
have this connections point thatyou need to make to your point,
Jim, and then to all of you.
Um, so thank you.
We're gonna move to our next uhquestion here, and that's gonna
be for Lee Love.
And this one's gonna bereferring to education and work.
(18:19):
And for this one, Lee, if youwould, how did your generation
approach uh approach toeducation or to career shape
opportunities to connect withand learn from other
generations?
SPEAKER_01 (18:31):
Yeah, thank you.
Um, so when I was asked to be onthis panel, I thought I have I
can talk for a long time, but II'm trying to be a good
representative of my generation.
So I did a little informalFacebook poll because I'm a
power gen X Facebook user.
And uh the top three values thatsurfaced were grit,
(18:57):
self-reliance, and then a lot ofother words, some of which are
appropriate or not for thisvenue.
But if you have them on acontinuum, call it from realism
to cynicism.
Um, but really were verypragmatic.
And so, you know, kind ofgrounded in that, because I can
definitely identify with thoseuh values.
(19:20):
I mean to think about work andschool, if you think about it,
uh Gen X was really thegeneration and maybe the only
generation where we were notonly, you know, expected to go
to college, we were told thiswas the only path that would
lead to success.
(19:40):
And, you know, the boomers thatcame before us, it was still
somewhat of a privilege.
The millennials that came after,I feel like there is even more
freedom.
There's the gig economy, there'sentrepreneur life.
We, you know, despite all of ourrebel uh exterior image and
independence and self-reliance,I feel like our generation
(20:04):
really did follow this linearpath of if we do these steps, we
will be successful.
And I think that really shapedour, you know, the way we
approach school, the way weapproach professional life, just
go through the steps.
And, you know, personally, I wasin school for business, I was in
(20:25):
an accounting class, I'm talkingto the guidance counselor.
He's like, you know, how do youlike accounting?
I'm like, it's easy.
I can do accounting.
It's like, oh my gosh, that'syour major because it's not
easy.
And so it was just a pragmaticchoice.
Did I have a passion for debitsand credits?
Not really, but it was just apragmatic choice.
I talked to a lot of peers andit's the same thing, whether
(20:46):
it's, you know, how we'rechoosing our neighborhood or
what, you know, what school wewent to, what we studied, the
kinds of jobs we chose.
Um, you know, I felt like wejust followed this linear path.
And I see the next generationand I love the questioning.
(21:06):
And sometimes when you're inyour you have your work hat on,
it's frustrating because thatgeneration is behaving
differently.
But it's just like for theparents out there, it's like
with when you have independentkids or kids that have a
different viewpoint of you,you're like, yes, do it.
Don't, don't just follow therules that I thought I had to
follow.
(21:27):
So I do, I do think that um, Ido think that impacted our
generation, those those rules wewere expected to follow.
And I think today it's impactingin the workplace because whether
it is generational or whether itis life stage, you have a lot of
Gen X that are kind of runningthe show.
And there is kind of thatbristling of the the next
(21:52):
generations pushing on us tomake things different, to
improve our institutions.
SPEAKER_06 (21:58):
So any other feedback?
SPEAKER_04 (22:18):
Um in my generation uh that there wasn't always the
opportunity to go to college.
Like you said, it was more of aprivilege than than anything
else, and and not everybody wasseeking that that path.
Uh for a lot of us, especiallyduring that time, uh during the
(22:39):
Vietnam War, uh the path tocollege was through the
military.
The military rolled out thisreal beautiful plan where they
would uh take care of yourcollege for you as long as you
serve a minimum of four yearsand survive.
Uh and and uh and so that seemedlike like the easiest path to
(23:01):
education for most of us.
But the real education we weregetting was serving in the
military.
That that was the I mean, youyou couldn't even pay us enough
for that kind of education thatwe were getting back then.
And in my case, I stuck aroundfor 20 years.
So the um the promise of aneducation was gonna sun down two
(23:26):
years after I retired from themilitary.
So I didn't even get a chance touse that.
Fortunately for me, they sent meto to college while I was in in
the Marine Corps, and and I didmanage to get my education in
art back then.
SPEAKER_03 (23:38):
Interesting.
Yeah, thanks.
SPEAKER_05 (23:44):
Tailgating on what's been said uh and the value, the
incredible value of technology.
I mean, just thinking back wherewe were 10 years ago and where
we are now.
But then also uh not onlytechnology, but the concept of
building community.
And as I've listened to the tothe four of you, and as we would
(24:06):
talk and interact, it's sort ofthe question would come up is
where are our storytellers?
We can't lose sight of ourstorytellers because that's a
connection that bringsgeneration to generation to
generation.
Uh, and it's almost like we needto have that as the forefront
(24:27):
because the clans, whatever,there was always a storyteller.
Now, I've sort of become thestoryteller for my clan.
The problem is I've told so manystories, I don't know which ones
are true and which ones are not.
Uh my daughter's sitting outthere, and my son-in-law, the
(24:47):
they heard countless UncleDeacon stories.
Uh, but uh a dear friend,they're here.
We I'd hope they would be here,Jack and Marguerite Thomas.
And Jack is he and I, he's theformer mayor of Park City, Utah,
now lives in Bentonville.
Uh, and uh he and I got totalking about storytellers.
I've got an Uncle Deacon, he'sgot me beat.
(25:08):
He's got an Uncle Frank.
And Uncle Frank got struck bylightning and it changed his
polarity to where he wasanti-gravity, and they would
have to put lead in his shoesbecause he would go up to the
sky.
And they couldn't find UncleFrank because he would be up in
a tree up somewhere.
And obviously Uncle Frank neverexisted, but how that would
(25:30):
connect the family.
So if you talk, if when you see,if you meet Jack, say, how's I
and it may not be Frank, whoeverhe is, but he may be up in a
tree or in the cloud orwhatever.
But how we can take storytellingand we can connect our family,
and that my story will connectto your story.
(25:51):
And it's not an age issue, butit but it's that connection,
it's that DNA that's part of oursoul.
So let's not forget thestorytellers.
SPEAKER_03 (26:02):
Storytelling is key, yeah.
Awesome.
So our next question uh is Rayhas agreed to lead off, but I'm
gonna pause before I uh ask thequestion.
And Ray, can you tell us aboutyour song that you picked?
Staying Staying Alive.
SPEAKER_04 (26:21):
I I actually picked two, but staying alive, well
that's that's pretty obvious.
Well uh but uh but I'm a childof the of the sixties and and uh
you know that was that was myteenage years uh from the the
assassination of Kennedy upuntil um the whenever I managed
(26:44):
to get out of high school.
But uh the the staying alive isuh first of all it's it's uh
it's a movie and a song that mywife and I both enjoy because
it's peppy.
The Bee Gees, for some reason,they were so connected to how
teenagers interacted with oneanother, and everything that
they say is it or sang about orwrote about is so so very true,
(27:08):
and and that's that's whythey're you know they're still
famous to this day, even thoughI think there's only one of them
remaining.
Yeah, yeah, awesome.
Yeah, and and then the othersong was uh the The Way We Were
by uh Barbara Streisand, andthat was a song from a movie
that my wife went to see, and mywife and I went to see when when
(27:30):
we were dating.
SPEAKER_03 (27:32):
Very cool, very cool.
The Four Bars podcast has beenbrought to you by Edges Inc., a
growth advisory firm based inBentonville, Arkansas.
I founded the company in 2001.
SPEAKER_06 (27:42):
Edges promotes growth people, companies, and
ideas.
Our team collaboration toolcalled Interface Methods is a
basis for teams to work togethermore collaboratively, understand
each other, and acceptdifferences and address
challenges together.
SPEAKER_03 (27:55):
We also started a nonprofit called Unform Your
Bias.
We teach kids and their adultinfluencers how to utilize
storytelling as a means toreduce bias in the world.
We hope you'll check us out,subscribe to our podcast, and
look at our website.
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For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
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