October 17, 2024 • 22 mins
What if the effort you put into finding the perfect internet signal could transform your personal and professional relationships? Join us, Ken and Patti Leith, as we recount our Rocky Mountain escapade to uncover a strong connection—not just digitally, but among our community. Welcome to the Four Bars podcast, where we explore how prioritizing genuine bonds can enhance our lives and inspire you to engage more meaningfully with those around you. This episode is packed with stories and strategies aimed at strengthening your personal connections, with a sprinkle of laughter courtesy of our ongoing battle with a mischievous squirrel.
We're thrilled to introduce EDGES Inc., a growth advisory firm focused on fostering innovation and collaboration. Discover how our initiative, Unform Your Bias, is using storytelling to break down societal biases and encourage inclusive interactions. Tune in to learn about our vision of thriving communities, and get sneak peeks into upcoming episodes featuring guest speakers who'll offer diverse perspectives on connection and innovation. Whether you're looking to grow personally, professionally, or both, we've got insights that will inspire you to consider leadership roles in your own circles. Let's build a stronger community together!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the 4.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Bars podcast.
I'm Ken Leith and I'm PattiLeith.
We're your hosts for somecompelling dialogue, encouraging
our listeners to strengthentheir connections and build
strong communities, lifting eachother up and connecting in ways
that matter.
We named the podcast 4 Bars asa reference to how hard we work
to find a 4 Bars connection onour devices.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And we wondered what could happen with relationships
if we worked as hard atconnecting.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Let's find out.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Welcome to Four Bars.
This is our first episode andwe are just today just going to
spend some time talking aboutwhat Four Bars is and why.
We're here to share theexperiences with you, and I'm
your co-host, ken Leith.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
And I'm Patti Leith.
We're going to be mostlyhosting the future episodes and
having conversations with ourspeakers, but today we wanted to
just keep it the two of us toexplain to you why we're doing
this in the first place.
So I think, to me, this is theculmination of the things that
(01:01):
I'm really passionate about, andthat is about equipping people
and exploring ways to buildstrong connections that lift up
our circles, and that, in turn,then, is around our lives, it's
around our work, and it buildscommunities around us, both in
life and work.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Absolutely.
We do a lot of different workwith individuals, and one of the
things that we hear most oftenis the difficulty in making
connections, and that connectioncould be, as we say here,
exploring good connections inlife, work and community.
It's in all facets of our life.
The discussions that we will behosting here will be with
(01:44):
different people who havedifferent experiences and
different perspectives, andthey'll just share with us the
impact of that the impact onthem, people within their
communities and how people whoare listening and watching can
have some of that same impact.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Yeah, fantastic.
Let's tell the listeners whatFour Bars is all about and how
we came up with it.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Yes, 4bars, and we've been asked this several times
as we were coming up with moreinitiatives.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
No bar hopping.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
So anyway, 4Bars is really about we work really hard
to get that connection on ourdevices and we will go to great
lengths to get that connection.
But do we always take advantageof what do we do once we get
that connection on our devices?
And we will go to great lengthsto get that connection, but do
we always take advantage of whatdo we do once we get that
connection?
Because sometimes we read a lottoday about how devices really
(02:33):
are somewhat draining to acertain extent if we overuse
them and things of that nature.
So that is really part of fourbars.
It is helping people to decidehow am I going to make best use
of that connection.
Now that I've gone so hard toget that connection, how will I
actually make it beneficial tothe person I'm speaking with,
beneficial for me, and make itsomething that is impactful for
(02:57):
the human being that each of usare?
Patty, you want to talk alittle bit about the specific
event we had that took us tothis.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I will.
We do a special party as ourkids reach a certain birthday
milestone and we were throwing aparty for our son for his 30th
birthday in the Rocky Mountains.
We booked a place that was verydeep into the wilderness and
(03:26):
they had told us that they'resort of off the grid.
But I don't think that werealized how off the grid they
were and we didn't reallyprepare to be fully off the grid
.
When we got there there was nota strong internet connection
without walking a mile over themountain or driving 45 minutes
into town, and so we did thatevery day.
We drove 45 minutes into townand we so we did that every day.
We drove 45 minutes into townand we found a place where we
(03:47):
could get four bars outside ofthe Ace Hardware and we did our
business and then went back into be party hosts.
But it really kind of dawned onme that we were trying to figure
out what we wanted to name thepodcast and how we wanted to
focus it.
It really dawned on me that wego to such great connection or
(04:08):
great effort, excuse me we go tosuch great effort to make sure
that we have a connection, butwe don't necessarily put a lot
of effort or the same amount ofeffort into the connection that
we build.
So we want to encouragelisteners to do that.
We want to bring speakers inwho talk about ways that that
can impact the world and talkabout methodologies and
(04:29):
strategies to enable people tobe thinking about doing some
things differently in theirlives to build their
relationships and build theircommunities.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Yeah, and for a little more context, when Patty
was saying we had to go to greateffort to get connectivity, we
were, for anyone who's been outin the mountains of Colorado, we
were near Buena Vista, colorado, and very off the grid on this
free range type of a valley whenI say free range, you had cows,
you had sheep, you had goats,you had all these things openly
walking across this dirt road,and this was about five and a
half or so miles off the mainroad.
(04:59):
Sheep, you had goats, you hadall these things openly walking
across this dirt road, and thiswas about five and a half or so
miles off the main road.
It was all dirt road ruts,things of that nature, and it
would literally take us 40minutes to go those four to five
miles in the vehicle to get inand out.
So we really wanted thatconnectivity, uh, to get there,
(05:23):
so we had to work for it and, um, to get back there in town.
So, in the end, though, it wasa great experience for us,
because it really brought us toreally realizing what we wanted
to do as far as bringing somediscussion around community and
how to build strong communitiesand communities where people are
interacting the way they want.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
And how does it impact us in our daily lives,
with our our families, with ourfriends or even in our workplace
?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, and I'm going to ask you a couple questions.
You asked me a couple questions.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
What really prompted you to be this passionate about
relationship building andcommunity building at this point
in your life?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Well, by nature I am inquisitive and I like to hear
stories, people's stories but itreally for me, goes back to
where I grew up and how I grewup.
I came from a large family andI had this incredible
grandmother who was four footten and red hair, and she had a
(06:24):
huge heart and a huge faith andshe always instilled certain
things in all of her grandkidsand great-grandkids and our
parents, her children.
So it really was natural to me.
But then I also grew up in aplace where it was very diverse
with respect to the people fromall over the world.
(06:44):
So you wanted to know thestories In that area, which was
in a suburb of Washington DC, inMaryland.
It was a time where you wereencouraged to go on these field
trips, to go on these thingsthat were really sponsored by
the schools because it cost verylittle money, and so you would
(07:04):
go and go talk to people or hearpeople talk.
You had these experiences andinteractions and we had an
elementary school right behindmy house.
That was one of the newer onesin the area, but they built a
gym on it that was way beyondanything that should have been
there at the time, and anyonewho lived there could come in
and just do things, but thatnaturally led us to having
(07:41):
conversations and hearingpeople's stories.
So I kind of grew up that way,through my family and through
where I lived in my environment,and so, as I now I'm an adult
and we do a lot of this for ourliving, you and I, and Patty and
I, obviously work together also.
It's something that is verymuch entwined with being able to
(08:02):
help people.
You have to understand theirstory and you have to share a
little bit about you to gaintrust.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
I love that story about schools.
The research will show thatthere are four ingredients in a
good community.
It's people, places, activitiesand things.
And I will say that for eachindividual who is a part of a
community it is the willingnessto build a relationship and both
share and ask about stories.
And so you know Ken and I aremarried.
(08:29):
If you don't know us, you don'tknow that we have a lot of fun
as a married couple.
But one of the things that Ithink probably resonated with
both of us early in ourrelationship was we were very
interested in the other's storyand I also have really gone
after this understanding ofstories for my whole career.
I've had an opportunity to dowork with a lot of different
(08:51):
groups and communities and themore you learn about those
community stories, the more youunderstand them.
Communities and the more youlearn about those community
stories, the more you understandthem.
I was sharing with Ken a coupleof days ago that I think, if I
look back really early in mycareer, I had an opportunity to
do work through the Rotary Clubin working with homeless and
also at-risk students, as wellas in my first job, I had an
(09:15):
opportunity to work to buildliteracy and I was raised in a
pretty sheltered environmentwhere I probably didn't really
know or understand some of thosethings.
When I started the work, andthe thing that I was so struck
with is the storytelling and thestories that you can share that
help everyone understand eachother better, and we are very
(09:41):
passionate about reducing bias.
Stories can do that, becausebias is what we fill in when we
don't know the story.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Yes, indeed, part of what we do.
We have a nonprofit that iscalled Unformative Bias and it
focuses on storytelling forchildren and for adults as a way
to connect people and to movebeyond just the first thing that
we may think about when we seeor meet someone.
And this Bentonville, arkansas,where we live.
(10:08):
Here.
They started a multiculturalfestival three years ago and
it's fabulous, and so we hostedan event with wonderful
volunteers that helped us andthen so many other groups that
were involved for supportingthis effort.
And the people who came up, wholive here in this region because
it was more than justBentonville were so appreciative
(10:29):
of the fact that the communitywas wanting to reach out and
celebrate the differences,celebrate who we are as
individuals, as human beings,not just what we do on a
day-to-day basis.
Some people came up.
They were so moved to it thatthey were emotional.
They were so again, thankful isthe word that keeps coming to
(10:50):
my mind and children got to comeand experience storytelling
from different children,different adults, and it was
just one of those specialmoments that you know you can
help people connect at that time.
What stories do you have tokind of how we connect and how
it is beneficial to connect?
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Well, I think that as human beings, we are creatures
that need connection, and someof us seek that out very much
because we gather energy from it.
Those are more externallyfocused or more extroverted
people, and some of us don'tseek it out as readily because
we might be a little more shy ora little more internally
focused, but we need it.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
And.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I think that coming out of the pandemic, where we as
human beings were forced toisolate with a very small group
of people and I love you and wehad fun but you know, when you
emerge from that, whateverskills you've built up, you need
to rethink.
And so I think that, coming outof the pandemic, this
(12:00):
connectivity is critical andimportant.
There's a lot being written nowabout what they call the
epidemic of loneliness, and itreally, I believe, is because we
got used to not doing it andthe importance of doing it and
the importance of doing it, andI've seen so many people in my
efforts to do this that are justso grateful to have the
(12:21):
connection, and I think thatwhen I think about the
importance of it and why it'sespecially important now, that's
what I think about.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Very, very true.
I think that, as we look to thefuture, going back to the
epidemic of loneliness, thereare studies out there from the
CDC, from Harvard Medical andother different around the globe
agencies and facilities,facilities, and the one thing is
(12:58):
that you said it is partlybecause of pandemic, partly
because of the devices that werereally intended to connect us
sometimes really pull us awayand we then interact with people
in the same way of just onekind of bit of information at a
time.
So we want to expand upon thatand let people come together and
tell their stories.
As we go through our podcastand we go from episode to
(13:21):
episode, we want to introduceyou to different people from
different walks of life,different places in the world,
who have these differentexperiences that they can share.
That can help all of us tolearn a little bit more about
how we can connect, why it'simportant we connect and what
happens when there's not a goodconnection.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah, what would you say?
You want the impact of this tobe?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
An awareness of the value of it, and I say the value
of it, the value for you as ahuman being, for those you care
about, and then for someone whoyou just meet.
It is so think about the lasttime someone came up or you met
them just somewhere Maybe youwere out at dinner or something
and you met someone for thefirst time and you have a
(14:08):
conversation.
Patty and I, we are wired sothat if we go out we tend to
meet people everywhere we go andnext thing, you know, it's a
funny 30, 60-minute conversationwe walk away knowing a whole
lot more about, because neitherof us want to have a superficial
oh where are you from?
Kind of conversation.
(14:29):
What do you do?
Conversation Because that'swhat most of us we get most of
the time is where are you from?
What do you do?
But when you go deeper andpeople are appreciative.
That's one thing I notice whenwe have those conversations how
about you?
Because that, for me, is a bigone, absolutely absolutely yeah,
and I want, I want.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
There's so much I want for this podcast.
I want to.
I want speakers to share theirstories about building
relationships and buildingcommunities and the power of
that and the strategies andmethodologies to do it.
But I also want people to tolisten and hear just a little
snippet of a skill they can tryto change to become more
(15:08):
connective with their circles orto become more of a leader in
the community building with thepeople around them.
So I really wanted to also becompelling and inspirational for
the listeners.
Whether it's to do somethingthat is, hey, I'm going to ask
somebody to coffee or I'm goingto see about leading an effort
(15:32):
within this community to buildmore connectivity.
There's a lot of different waysthat I think this can inspire
and motivate people, and so ifyou are interested in that, feel
like that's something that youand your circles can get better
at.
I know I can get better atdoing it.
We want you to keep watching.
(15:52):
If you think that you have somegreat stories to share as a
speaker, please contact usthrough our website.
You can go into our website andyou'll have the ability to do
that, because we'd love to hearfrom you.
I'm also really interested inthe kinds of things you'd like
to see us focus on.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Absolutely, because this is really to be able to
connect with everyone who may bewatching this podcast.
I'll say in the future, rightnow, because I'm not sure that
we have more than a couple ofwatching today's initial podcast
, probably not that we do in abuild.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Thanks to all of you who know us.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
There's 10 of you out there, but thanks to all of you
who know us there's 10 of youout there.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
The other thing is that we really bring into our
for-profit work that we do everyday, which is working with
companies, is.
There's a lot of importantthings that people do and it's
sometimes stressful, but we tellpeople in our work on a daily
basis you have to take a momentto relax.
You have to take a moment torelax, you have to take a moment
(16:51):
to laugh.
Laughter is a component thatdisarms people.
It is a connecting componentand as we bring these stories to
life through others and forfeedback that we get, we're
going to have some laughs and wehope that anyone who's watching
is laughing along with us,because that is part of it.
(17:12):
It releases the emotionssometimes that get tied up into
us, that prevent.
They become what I would saybarriers yeah, potential
barriers while we don't connect,and you have to connect to be
able to feel good aboutourselves as human beings.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah, laughter is good for the soul, so we'll want
to do a lot of that here.
Absolutely we have a lot tolaugh about.
There's something we've beenlaughing about a lot lately.
We were impacted by theregion's storms just before
Memorial Day in May and we havea lot of damage to the house and
I shouldn't laugh when I saythat but the squirrels have
found their way into the rafters, and one of them actually
(17:49):
sleeps on the rafter above mymakeup mirror, where they have
removed the wall and they'recurrently have plastic, and so
Ken has been trying to eradicatethis squirrel using a number of
ideas.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
You want to share some of the things that you've
done, yeah well, I'll start outby saying I'm working in a very
humane way and researching waysto help to get the squirrel out
of there in a safe manner sothat we can ensure everything is
sealed up.
One reason he's there isbecause we still have a couple
of holes in our house that hecan get up to through the roof.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
So each time he makes a move, then the squirrel makes
a move and it's not the movethat Ken wants him to make.
So then when Ken goes back tothe drawing board to rethink his
next move, he sort of lookslike Christopher Lloyd, with the
crazy eyes in Back to theFuture.
So you can imagine that.
So we've been having a lot offun with this.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yep, I'm not sure I'm having much fun with it towel
oh, I'll go back a little bitfrom there as my research uh has
been kind of helping me likeget a, get uh humane traps, live
traps, so you can trap them andand safely get them out of the
house and uh put some yummythings on there.
Well, I tried that a coupletimes and apparently there's not
(19:03):
a taste for that for thissquirrel.
I gotta find the right type ofdiet for him so that he'll be
about bringing acorns in fromthat ground.
But the other thing is thatthere are different um scents
that supposedly squirrels do notlike, because they eat and feed
because of their sense of smellthey can find food.
(19:23):
That's why they burrow throughthe ground, because they can
smell.
So one of the things that theysaid is peppermint essential oil
, make a spray.
So I got to get some fresh Idon't know why I said fresh uh
essential oil and and mix thatup with some water, as I said to
do, and put it into a spraybottle, and spent about 20
(19:46):
minutes up in our attic on anice warm day spraying all the
beams of wood, different areaswhere he had been sitting, which
is including in the plasticabove your area over in the
master bathroom.
So we, after doing due diligence, one of the things they said
was you have cotton balls orsomething like that sprayed on
there and it will reallypermeate.
(20:07):
And so I did that.
But I didn't have cotton balls.
I used a paper towel and I hungit over a rafter, probably 10
feet from where this plastic isand the hole and the squirrel is
.
So I go in the next morning andI look up at that holes.
I am likely to do every dayjust making sure that nothing
else has happened there.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Mainly making sure he hasn't come into the house
looking for and uh.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
So what happened was I noticed something there wasn't
there in the day before and itwas the piece of paper towel
that I had saturated, uh, to tryto get that to be even more of
a strong smell, and apparentlyit does not bother this squirrel
because he was sleeping on it.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Later in the day I asked ken about it and he's like
he's mocking me.
So I bring up this story to sayyou got to have a little levity
in life.
And we want to have a fairamount of levity in this podcast
.
We want it to be fun and staytuned.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
We'll let you know how the squirrel story ends up.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
We're hoping that the squirrel is removed soon.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
So, as we end today's initial podcast yes, inaugural
Inaugural podcast we want tofirst again thank anyone who is
watching today.
Share with others, please,because we would like to build
up the viewership and we want todo that so we can connect with
people.
We want to be able to, as wesaid earlier, help them explore,
(21:29):
be willing to explore thosegood connections in their lives
and the work and in theircommunities in order to build
better communities.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
And I'll just do a little preview for our next
guest.
We have Emily Medlock andKelsey McIntyre from Blake
Street House one of the coolestcommunities in our region and
they're going to talk aboutcommunity building.
It's going to be pretty awesome.
And then we also have MayorOrman, who will be joining us
for actually a couple ofepisodes where she's going to
(21:58):
talk about community buildingand some of the things that
she's learned in the time thatshe's been mayor here.
So we're super excited and moreexciting guests to come.
Again, let us know what youwant to hear, Let us know if
you're interested in speakingand keep watching.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Thank you so much.
Thank you, have a good week.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
The 4 Bars Podcast has been brought to you by Edges
Inc.
A growth advisory firm based inBentonville, arkansas.
I founded the company in 2001.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Edges promotes growth , people, companies and ideas.
Our team collaboration tool,called Interface Methods, is a
basis for teams to work togethermore collaboratively,
understand each other and acceptdifferences and address
challenges together.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
We also started a nonprofit called Unform your
Bias.
We teach kids and their adultinfluencers how to utilize
storytelling as a means toreduce bias in the world.
We hope you'll check us out,subscribe to our podcast and
look at our website.
Welcome to the 4.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Bars podcast.
I'm Ken Leith and I'm PattiLeith.
We're your hosts for somecompelling dialogue, encouraging
our listeners to strengthentheir connections and build
strong communities, lifting eachother up and connecting in ways
that matter.
We named the podcast 4 Bars asa reference to how hard we work
to find a 4 Bars connection onour devices.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And we wondered what could happen with relationships
if we worked as hard atconnecting.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Let's find out.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Welcome to Four Bars.
This is our first episode andwe are just today just going to
spend some time talking aboutwhat Four Bars is and why.
We're here to share theexperiences with you, and I'm
your co-host, ken Leith.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
And I'm Patti Leith.
We're going to be mostlyhosting the future episodes and
having conversations with ourspeakers, but today we wanted to
just keep it the two of us toexplain to you why we're doing
this in the first place.
So I think, to me, this is theculmination of the things that
(01:01):
I'm really passionate about, andthat is about equipping people
and exploring ways to buildstrong connections that lift up
our circles, and that, in turn,then, is around our lives, it's
around our work, and it buildscommunities around us, both in
life and work.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Absolutely.
We do a lot of different workwith individuals, and one of the
things that we hear most oftenis the difficulty in making
connections, and that connectioncould be, as we say here,
exploring good connections inlife, work and community.
It's in all facets of our life.
The discussions that we will behosting here will be with
(01:44):
different people who havedifferent experiences and
different perspectives, andthey'll just share with us the
impact of that the impact onthem, people within their
communities and how people whoare listening and watching can
have some of that same impact.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Yeah, fantastic.
Let's tell the listeners whatFour Bars is all about and how
we came up with it.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Yes, 4bars, and we've been asked this several times
as we were coming up with moreinitiatives.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
No bar hopping.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
So anyway, 4Bars is really about we work really hard
to get that connection on ourdevices and we will go to great
lengths to get that connection.
But do we always take advantageof what do we do once we get
that connection on our devices?
And we will go to great lengthsto get that connection, but do
we always take advantage of whatdo we do once we get that
connection?
Because sometimes we read a lottoday about how devices really
(02:33):
are somewhat draining to acertain extent if we overuse
them and things of that nature.
So that is really part of fourbars.
It is helping people to decidehow am I going to make best use
of that connection.
Now that I've gone so hard toget that connection, how will I
actually make it beneficial tothe person I'm speaking with,
beneficial for me, and make itsomething that is impactful for
(02:57):
the human being that each of usare?
Patty, you want to talk alittle bit about the specific
event we had that took us tothis.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I will.
We do a special party as ourkids reach a certain birthday
milestone and we were throwing aparty for our son for his 30th
birthday in the Rocky Mountains.
We booked a place that was verydeep into the wilderness and
(03:26):
they had told us that they'resort of off the grid.
But I don't think that werealized how off the grid they
were and we didn't reallyprepare to be fully off the grid
.
When we got there there was nota strong internet connection
without walking a mile over themountain or driving 45 minutes
into town, and so we did thatevery day.
We drove 45 minutes into townand we so we did that every day.
We drove 45 minutes into townand we found a place where we
(03:47):
could get four bars outside ofthe Ace Hardware and we did our
business and then went back into be party hosts.
But it really kind of dawned onme that we were trying to figure
out what we wanted to name thepodcast and how we wanted to
focus it.
It really dawned on me that wego to such great connection or
(04:08):
great effort, excuse me we go tosuch great effort to make sure
that we have a connection, butwe don't necessarily put a lot
of effort or the same amount ofeffort into the connection that
we build.
So we want to encouragelisteners to do that.
We want to bring speakers inwho talk about ways that that
can impact the world and talkabout methodologies and
(04:29):
strategies to enable people tobe thinking about doing some
things differently in theirlives to build their
relationships and build theircommunities.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Yeah, and for a little more context, when Patty
was saying we had to go to greateffort to get connectivity, we
were, for anyone who's been outin the mountains of Colorado, we
were near Buena Vista, colorado, and very off the grid on this
free range type of a valley whenI say free range, you had cows,
you had sheep, you had goats,you had all these things openly
walking across this dirt road,and this was about five and a
half or so miles off the mainroad.
(04:59):
Sheep, you had goats, you hadall these things openly walking
across this dirt road, and thiswas about five and a half or so
miles off the main road.
It was all dirt road ruts,things of that nature, and it
would literally take us 40minutes to go those four to five
miles in the vehicle to get inand out.
So we really wanted thatconnectivity, uh, to get there,
(05:23):
so we had to work for it and, um, to get back there in town.
So, in the end, though, it wasa great experience for us,
because it really brought us toreally realizing what we wanted
to do as far as bringing somediscussion around community and
how to build strong communitiesand communities where people are
interacting the way they want.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
And how does it impact us in our daily lives,
with our our families, with ourfriends or even in our workplace
?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, and I'm going to ask you a couple questions.
You asked me a couple questions.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
What really prompted you to be this passionate about
relationship building andcommunity building at this point
in your life?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Well, by nature I am inquisitive and I like to hear
stories, people's stories but itreally for me, goes back to
where I grew up and how I grewup.
I came from a large family andI had this incredible
grandmother who was four footten and red hair, and she had a
(06:24):
huge heart and a huge faith andshe always instilled certain
things in all of her grandkidsand great-grandkids and our
parents, her children.
So it really was natural to me.
But then I also grew up in aplace where it was very diverse
with respect to the people fromall over the world.
(06:44):
So you wanted to know thestories In that area, which was
in a suburb of Washington DC, inMaryland.
It was a time where you wereencouraged to go on these field
trips, to go on these thingsthat were really sponsored by
the schools because it cost verylittle money, and so you would
(07:04):
go and go talk to people or hearpeople talk.
You had these experiences andinteractions and we had an
elementary school right behindmy house.
That was one of the newer onesin the area, but they built a
gym on it that was way beyondanything that should have been
there at the time, and anyonewho lived there could come in
and just do things, but thatnaturally led us to having
(07:41):
conversations and hearingpeople's stories.
So I kind of grew up that way,through my family and through
where I lived in my environment,and so, as I now I'm an adult
and we do a lot of this for ourliving, you and I, and Patty and
I, obviously work together also.
It's something that is verymuch entwined with being able to
(08:02):
help people.
You have to understand theirstory and you have to share a
little bit about you to gaintrust.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
I love that story about schools.
The research will show thatthere are four ingredients in a
good community.
It's people, places, activitiesand things.
And I will say that for eachindividual who is a part of a
community it is the willingnessto build a relationship and both
share and ask about stories.
And so you know Ken and I aremarried.
(08:29):
If you don't know us, you don'tknow that we have a lot of fun
as a married couple.
But one of the things that Ithink probably resonated with
both of us early in ourrelationship was we were very
interested in the other's storyand I also have really gone
after this understanding ofstories for my whole career.
I've had an opportunity to dowork with a lot of different
(08:51):
groups and communities and themore you learn about those
community stories, the more youunderstand them.
Communities and the more youlearn about those community
stories, the more you understandthem.
I was sharing with Ken a coupleof days ago that I think, if I
look back really early in mycareer, I had an opportunity to
do work through the Rotary Clubin working with homeless and
also at-risk students, as wellas in my first job, I had an
(09:15):
opportunity to work to buildliteracy and I was raised in a
pretty sheltered environmentwhere I probably didn't really
know or understand some of thosethings.
When I started the work, andthe thing that I was so struck
with is the storytelling and thestories that you can share that
help everyone understand eachother better, and we are very
(09:41):
passionate about reducing bias.
Stories can do that, becausebias is what we fill in when we
don't know the story.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Yes, indeed, part of what we do.
We have a nonprofit that iscalled Unformative Bias and it
focuses on storytelling forchildren and for adults as a way
to connect people and to movebeyond just the first thing that
we may think about when we seeor meet someone.
And this Bentonville, arkansas,where we live.
(10:08):
Here.
They started a multiculturalfestival three years ago and
it's fabulous, and so we hostedan event with wonderful
volunteers that helped us andthen so many other groups that
were involved for supportingthis effort.
And the people who came up, wholive here in this region because
it was more than justBentonville were so appreciative
(10:29):
of the fact that the communitywas wanting to reach out and
celebrate the differences,celebrate who we are as
individuals, as human beings,not just what we do on a
day-to-day basis.
Some people came up.
They were so moved to it thatthey were emotional.
They were so again, thankful isthe word that keeps coming to
(10:50):
my mind and children got to comeand experience storytelling
from different children,different adults, and it was
just one of those specialmoments that you know you can
help people connect at that time.
What stories do you have tokind of how we connect and how
it is beneficial to connect?
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Well, I think that as human beings, we are creatures
that need connection, and someof us seek that out very much
because we gather energy from it.
Those are more externallyfocused or more extroverted
people, and some of us don'tseek it out as readily because
we might be a little more shy ora little more internally
focused, but we need it.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
And.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I think that coming out of the pandemic, where we as
human beings were forced toisolate with a very small group
of people and I love you and wehad fun but you know, when you
emerge from that, whateverskills you've built up, you need
to rethink.
And so I think that, coming outof the pandemic, this
(12:00):
connectivity is critical andimportant.
There's a lot being written nowabout what they call the
epidemic of loneliness, and itreally, I believe, is because we
got used to not doing it andthe importance of doing it and
the importance of doing it, andI've seen so many people in my
efforts to do this that are justso grateful to have the
(12:21):
connection, and I think thatwhen I think about the
importance of it and why it'sespecially important now, that's
what I think about.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Very, very true.
I think that, as we look to thefuture, going back to the
epidemic of loneliness, thereare studies out there from the
CDC, from Harvard Medical andother different around the globe
agencies and facilities,facilities, and the one thing is
(12:58):
that you said it is partlybecause of pandemic, partly
because of the devices that werereally intended to connect us
sometimes really pull us awayand we then interact with people
in the same way of just onekind of bit of information at a
time.
So we want to expand upon thatand let people come together and
tell their stories.
As we go through our podcastand we go from episode to
(13:21):
episode, we want to introduceyou to different people from
different walks of life,different places in the world,
who have these differentexperiences that they can share.
That can help all of us tolearn a little bit more about
how we can connect, why it'simportant we connect and what
happens when there's not a goodconnection.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah, what would you say?
You want the impact of this tobe?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
An awareness of the value of it, and I say the value
of it, the value for you as ahuman being, for those you care
about, and then for someone whoyou just meet.
It is so think about the lasttime someone came up or you met
them just somewhere Maybe youwere out at dinner or something
and you met someone for thefirst time and you have a
(14:08):
conversation.
Patty and I, we are wired sothat if we go out we tend to
meet people everywhere we go andnext thing, you know, it's a
funny 30, 60-minute conversationwe walk away knowing a whole
lot more about, because neitherof us want to have a superficial
oh where are you from?
Kind of conversation.
(14:29):
What do you do?
Conversation Because that'swhat most of us we get most of
the time is where are you from?
What do you do?
But when you go deeper andpeople are appreciative.
That's one thing I notice whenwe have those conversations how
about you?
Because that, for me, is a bigone, absolutely absolutely yeah,
and I want, I want.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
There's so much I want for this podcast.
I want to.
I want speakers to share theirstories about building
relationships and buildingcommunities and the power of
that and the strategies andmethodologies to do it.
But I also want people to tolisten and hear just a little
snippet of a skill they can tryto change to become more
(15:08):
connective with their circles orto become more of a leader in
the community building with thepeople around them.
So I really wanted to also becompelling and inspirational for
the listeners.
Whether it's to do somethingthat is, hey, I'm going to ask
somebody to coffee or I'm goingto see about leading an effort
(15:32):
within this community to buildmore connectivity.
There's a lot of different waysthat I think this can inspire
and motivate people, and so ifyou are interested in that, feel
like that's something that youand your circles can get better
at.
I know I can get better atdoing it.
We want you to keep watching.
(15:52):
If you think that you have somegreat stories to share as a
speaker, please contact usthrough our website.
You can go into our website andyou'll have the ability to do
that, because we'd love to hearfrom you.
I'm also really interested inthe kinds of things you'd like
to see us focus on.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Absolutely, because this is really to be able to
connect with everyone who may bewatching this podcast.
I'll say in the future, rightnow, because I'm not sure that
we have more than a couple ofwatching today's initial podcast
, probably not that we do in abuild.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Thanks to all of you who know us.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
There's 10 of you out there, but thanks to all of you
who know us there's 10 of youout there.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
The other thing is that we really bring into our
for-profit work that we do everyday, which is working with
companies, is.
There's a lot of importantthings that people do and it's
sometimes stressful, but we tellpeople in our work on a daily
basis you have to take a momentto relax.
You have to take a moment torelax, you have to take a moment
(16:51):
to laugh.
Laughter is a component thatdisarms people.
It is a connecting componentand as we bring these stories to
life through others and forfeedback that we get, we're
going to have some laughs and wehope that anyone who's watching
is laughing along with us,because that is part of it.
(17:12):
It releases the emotionssometimes that get tied up into
us, that prevent.
They become what I would saybarriers yeah, potential
barriers while we don't connect,and you have to connect to be
able to feel good aboutourselves as human beings.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah, laughter is good for the soul, so we'll want
to do a lot of that here.
Absolutely we have a lot tolaugh about.
There's something we've beenlaughing about a lot lately.
We were impacted by theregion's storms just before
Memorial Day in May and we havea lot of damage to the house and
I shouldn't laugh when I saythat but the squirrels have
found their way into the rafters, and one of them actually
(17:49):
sleeps on the rafter above mymakeup mirror, where they have
removed the wall and they'recurrently have plastic, and so
Ken has been trying to eradicatethis squirrel using a number of
ideas.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
You want to share some of the things that you've
done, yeah well, I'll start outby saying I'm working in a very
humane way and researching waysto help to get the squirrel out
of there in a safe manner sothat we can ensure everything is
sealed up.
One reason he's there isbecause we still have a couple
of holes in our house that hecan get up to through the roof.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
So each time he makes a move, then the squirrel makes
a move and it's not the movethat Ken wants him to make.
So then when Ken goes back tothe drawing board to rethink his
next move, he sort of lookslike Christopher Lloyd, with the
crazy eyes in Back to theFuture.
So you can imagine that.
So we've been having a lot offun with this.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yep, I'm not sure I'm having much fun with it towel
oh, I'll go back a little bitfrom there as my research uh has
been kind of helping me likeget a, get uh humane traps, live
traps, so you can trap them andand safely get them out of the
house and uh put some yummythings on there.
Well, I tried that a coupletimes and apparently there's not
(19:03):
a taste for that for thissquirrel.
I gotta find the right type ofdiet for him so that he'll be
about bringing acorns in fromthat ground.
But the other thing is thatthere are different um scents
that supposedly squirrels do notlike, because they eat and feed
because of their sense of smellthey can find food.
(19:23):
That's why they burrow throughthe ground, because they can
smell.
So one of the things that theysaid is peppermint essential oil
, make a spray.
So I got to get some fresh Idon't know why I said fresh uh
essential oil and and mix thatup with some water, as I said to
do, and put it into a spraybottle, and spent about 20
(19:46):
minutes up in our attic on anice warm day spraying all the
beams of wood, different areaswhere he had been sitting, which
is including in the plasticabove your area over in the
master bathroom.
So we, after doing due diligence, one of the things they said
was you have cotton balls orsomething like that sprayed on
there and it will reallypermeate.
(20:07):
And so I did that.
But I didn't have cotton balls.
I used a paper towel and I hungit over a rafter, probably 10
feet from where this plastic isand the hole and the squirrel is
.
So I go in the next morning andI look up at that holes.
I am likely to do every dayjust making sure that nothing
else has happened there.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Mainly making sure he hasn't come into the house
looking for and uh.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
So what happened was I noticed something there wasn't
there in the day before and itwas the piece of paper towel
that I had saturated, uh, to tryto get that to be even more of
a strong smell, and apparentlyit does not bother this squirrel
because he was sleeping on it.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Later in the day I asked ken about it and he's like
he's mocking me.
So I bring up this story to sayyou got to have a little levity
in life.
And we want to have a fairamount of levity in this podcast
.
We want it to be fun and staytuned.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
We'll let you know how the squirrel story ends up.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
We're hoping that the squirrel is removed soon.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
So, as we end today's initial podcast yes, inaugural
Inaugural podcast we want tofirst again thank anyone who is
watching today.
Share with others, please,because we would like to build
up the viewership and we want todo that so we can connect with
people.
We want to be able to, as wesaid earlier, help them explore,
(21:29):
be willing to explore thosegood connections in their lives
and the work and in theircommunities in order to build
better communities.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
And I'll just do a little preview for our next
guest.
We have Emily Medlock andKelsey McIntyre from Blake
Street House one of the coolestcommunities in our region and
they're going to talk aboutcommunity building.
It's going to be pretty awesome.
And then we also have MayorOrman, who will be joining us
for actually a couple ofepisodes where she's going to
(21:58):
talk about community buildingand some of the things that
she's learned in the time thatshe's been mayor here.
So we're super excited and moreexciting guests to come.
Again, let us know what youwant to hear, Let us know if
you're interested in speakingand keep watching.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Thank you so much.
Thank you, have a good week.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
The 4 Bars Podcast has been brought to you by Edges
Inc.
A growth advisory firm based inBentonville, arkansas.
I founded the company in 2001.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Edges promotes growth , people, companies and ideas.
Our team collaboration tool,called Interface Methods, is a
basis for teams to work togethermore collaboratively,
understand each other and acceptdifferences and address
challenges together.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
We also started a nonprofit called Unform your
Bias.
We teach kids and their adultinfluencers how to utilize
storytelling as a means toreduce bias in the world.
We hope you'll check us out,subscribe to our podcast and
look at our website.
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