April 19, 2024 • 50 mins
Bills, bills, bills! Who loves paying bills when it holds us back on spending on the things we love and value? Well, it doesn’t always have to be that way! In this episode, Jen and Jill make space on being able to spend guilt free and prioritizing it on our values.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Episode three nine nine, How to Spend when your values
income don't align.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
save money, embrace simplicity, and liver your life. Here your hosts,
Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
my name is Jill, And how the heck are we
three hundred and ninety nine episodes in? Next week?
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Is gonna be it? Mean?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
I mean, it's not even next week, it's just in
it is next week. I guess this is a Friday episode.
Is gonna be so fun? I can't wait.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
If you know how to count, you know, episode four
hundred is coming.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Right, yes, but it's gonna be very fun. So please we're.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Celebrating six years to Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
If you are a longtime listener, new listener, you will
find something fun to laugh about. It's not going to
be financial, but it's gonna be a really good time.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
We'll probably talk about money, well probably, yeah, we will.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
But today's episode is about how to spend, How to
prioritize your spending when what you love, what you value
does the amount that it costs does not align with
the amount of income you are currently bringing in.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
It sounds so good to spend on your values. That
only really works if you have the money to spend.
It's like the Marie condo thing, like throw out anything
that doesn't bring joys, like, well, I gotta keep my
spatula and my pots and pans.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Well, Jill, And so I think this is like that. Yeah,
Marie would say, maybe the spatula in itself does not
spark joy, but the times you get to cook with
your child dispatch lots. So that's kind of the approach.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
We're taking a new mindset with it, because, yeah, you
may not love paying your electricity bill, but how do
we find room for that and begin to prioritize other
values and be able to make space for being able
to spend guilt free?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yes, but first, this episode is brought to you by
white text on a white background. That makes no sense. Right,
If your background is white, you should have text that
is literally any other color besides white. Right, But sometimes
you have white text on a pink button, and Gmail
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(02:43):
sponsor wants to apologize. If you've signed up for the
friend letter and received your email to confirm your subscription
and there's no link there, and you were just like
these these girls don't know what they're doing. They have
no clue. It is not our problem. It is only
half our problem. If you actually highlight all the text
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(03:05):
white there's white text to confirm your subscription on a
white screen. And so we saw were sorry about that.
Uh so we urge you to double check your confirmation email.
If you are not getting the friend Letter but half
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(03:28):
I changed it to the second worst color, very light blue.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I love this. Yeah, we're six years in, but we
still grassroots.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
We're still a small business. So thank you and sorry
and thank you.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
But if you are getting the friend Letter, you know
that there are polls at the bottom of every friend letter.
Some of them are just goofy because we just feel
like being goofy and goofy. Some of them help us
to plan the content of our episodes and learn more
about you guys. We just sent out a poll recently
(04:06):
that asked how do you decide what to spend on
when your values and your income don't align? This very
episode title essentially, and sixty four percent of you do
say that you prioritize what you will buy. We've got
a very judicious group of people, yes' soving dirient level.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Yeah, so that's kind of what we're gonna kind of
like form this episode to better help you prioritize. So
if you're looking for a few other episodes to queue
up after this one, episode three twenty eight What to
do when you feel broke with a six figure income.
This can really be any if you feel like you're
(04:46):
making enough. Your budget says you're making enough to cover
saving and expenses, but reality is not showing that. That's
a really good episode to queue up. And then episode
two seventy four, How to align your spending with your values.
That is a big values based spending primer that is
really a good foundation for what we're talking about here.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Yeah. So this first article comes from Forbes and it
is titled how to prioritize your money based on where
you are in your financial life. And we want to
go through a few of the things on this article
because we think it's important to highlight if we're feeling
as though our money and our income is not aligning,
it's worth the refresher on what are some of the
(05:30):
basics that we should be doing with our money can
be doing with our money to be able to continue
moving closer and closer to really aligning all of our decisions,
including money decisions, with the things that we value, the
lifestyle we want to be aiming at the person we
want to become. So they begin by talking about just
(05:52):
the foundation for those kind of just getting started and
wondering what even should I be doing with my money?
What are the priorities that are going to help me
get to this spending in alignment with my values? And
it includes the basics of financial literacy, like establishing an
(06:13):
emergency fund. So they list an establishment of if you're
just beginning about two to three thousand dollars in emergency
savings to kind of kickstart what's going to come next
for you. I think eventually we want to aim at
an emergency savings that is larger than two to three thousand,
(06:34):
something that is closer to three to six months of
your basic living expenses, taking it into consideration your medical
deductible some of these things that you might need access
to cash, and you don't necessarily want to put some
of these emergencies onto a credit card. This is that
(06:54):
buffer that's going to help you. So the two to
three thousand dollars is going to help with kind of
some un first seen maybe car trouble or home or repair.
But eventually we're going to want to get it larger
than that, but it is a great place to start.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah, these foundational these first three foundational things, these are
more important than anything you value. So these are the
things you want to stop. Like, nothing is more important
than these, Nothing you value is more important than these
three like foundational things. So stop what you're doing with
your spending until you are getting until you have that
(07:30):
two thousand dollars emergency savings, and hopefully it doesn't take
you that long. If you if your income is a
lot lower and your expenses are a lot lower, then
your emergency savings doesn't have to be sky high. It
may not have to be two or three thousand dollars.
But getting something into a high yield savings account that's
(07:51):
separate from your regular spending account that can't see set
it forget it. That's super important. That's priority one. And
then priority two is to take the free money that
you get with your four oh one K match. So
if that's if you have it available to you, if
your employer offers a four oh one K match, to
(08:14):
be contributing at least that much into your four oh
one K. And if you're not sure, if you don't
know how to set it up, then you can contact
your HR department and they will walk you through it.
A lot of employers are just auto en rolling people
into the four oh one K with the match, so
a lot of times it's going in there you don't
(08:35):
even realize it. So that could be a super easy one.
And then the third one is they're saying so prioritizing
paying off debt with a high interest rate, and so
this article is saying anything above six percent, and so
we're because we really believe these foundations should be like
first foremost, really go after them. I'm going to say
(08:59):
ten anything double digits. So basically credit card debt, like
just getting to a place where you're not in recurring
credit card debt is so important. So doing something big, drastic,
like you know that can get you out of that
credit card debt, obviously not cashing out retirement accounts, but
(09:22):
looking at your lifestyle and thinking, Okay, I can do
this one thing and it will make a huge impact,
so I'm going to do it. Those are the three things.
I think that they're going to be more important than
any monetary thing that we can love or value.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Yeah, and once you've done those things, you consider you
can consider yourself to have built the foundation of your
finances and you can move beyond that or keep building
onto that. And so some of the things that they
then reference in this beyond the foundation stage is listing
your financial priorities that matter to you. Most really common
(10:00):
ones could be I want to buy a house, or
I want to grow my family, or I want to
get married have a wedding, and putting a monetary value
to all of those things. If it's a home, do
you want to be able to put twenty percent down?
Then calculate what twenty percent of the type of house
that you can afford might be. We also know that
(10:22):
for first time home buyers you don't have to do
that either. So depending on your situation, what is the
amount that you want to have for a down payment?
If you want to start a family. What do you
anticipate the parental costs are going to be, the medical costs,
the cost to welcome a new human into the world
and into your home. They're listing five to ten thousand dollars.
(10:44):
I'm going to imagine it's a little bit more than
that for immediate expenses.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Yeah, I would say that's that's about right.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Sure, Yeah, but yeah, depends on your medical deductible. How
much do you need for a wedding, So just yeah,
what are your financial goals? List them out and attach
a monetary amount to them.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Yeah, and so these are this is where we start
getting into your values. These are the values. Your financial
priorities should be the four f's sort of thing. So family, friends,
faith fulfilling work. If you're going after those things, then
you are going to have your financial priorities are going
(11:26):
to reflect those big things. So we're you know, we're
saving for the home, We're saving for the baby, We're
saving maybe to you know, quit our job, like build
a business, that sort of thing.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
I like how they put a calculator in here as well,
so they link to this savings calculator. I think a
lot of times we can kind of choose a number
and then not totally know how to get there. And
there is this handy dandy thing on the internet where
you can type in what is your goal amount. So
let's say I want to save five thousand dollars to
(11:57):
be able to take a couple of trips next year,
So I've got twelve months. You can type in the
time period in which you want to save that amount
within months, if you have any current savings that you're
already putting towards that goal. And then if these the
money is going to be in an account that's returning
you like an annual rate of return. Honestly, for checking accounts,
(12:22):
it's not going to be much. And they are talking
how you don't want to invest for short term or
mid term savings goals in the stock market. That's more
so we're talking retirement investing. But if you're using a
high yield savings account like the one at CIT Forrugal
Friends podcast dot com slash cit, you could earn an
(12:44):
annual percentage yield back on the money that you put
in if you don't need to touch it for a
certain amount of time, and we do recommend that, but
if it's a very short term goal, it's just going
to be sitting in a checking account. It's not going
to earn you much all that to say, you plug
in all these numbers and it spits back out a
monthly required savings. So if I wanted to save five
(13:04):
thousand dollars in one year and essentially not banking on
any percentage return on my money, it's going to be
four hundred and twenty nine dollars a month that I'd
have to save. So helpful to kind of put it
into perspective, how much am I going to have to
set aside? What might I have to rearrange in my
spending currently to be able to achieve this goal?
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yeah? And then the third part, the most important is
to prioritize these goals based on their importance. So if
you don't, I mean, if you don't have unlimited income,
you're not gonna be able to say for all of
these at once, and we don't think you should even
if you do have the income. We've seen time and
time again, when you set your focus to one thing
(13:49):
at a time, you achieve it faster, and you achieve
things that you know are really in direction of where
you want to go, that you can really take the
time time to make sure that your those second, third,
fourth priorities are actually priorities and they are where they
want to be, because a lot of times they can shift.
And when you're trying to put all your money towards
(14:11):
all these financial goals all at once, you can sometimes
realize you've been saving for something that you don't actually
need to be saving as as aggressively for, or maybe
at all. Uh So try to so list out these
things first, we'd say, like list out the four fs
(14:31):
and and under each category, define what that is for you,
Define what matters in there for you, and then think
about the financial goals you're gonna need to achieve to
get to each. So for me, when we were paying
off debt, I wasn't into the idea of paying off debt.
(14:52):
I didn't want to become debt free. I had no
desire to become debt free to say I don't have debt.
That was Travis. Travis just didn't like debt. For me,
it was wanting to foster eventually, we want to foster kids.
I worked in group homes for years, and foster care
has always been something that I'm super passionate about. So
(15:16):
I know how hard it is to foster. I know
the time required is much more and the energy and
emotions required is much more than a lot of people
realize going into it. And so Travis really like encouraged
me that, like, think of how easy, how much easier
(15:38):
this really hard thing will be to do if you
do not also have the pressure of making a debt payment,
therefore having to be beholden too a job that you
may not want, and having all these responsibilities around it
because of the debt. And that is what got me
(15:58):
to that financial goal. For me, It was not paying
off debt because I quote unquote should It was because
I had that family goal and that fulfilling work goal
to push me in that financial direction. So that's why
it's important to first prioritize the things money can't buy,
(16:20):
and then list out the financial goals you're going to
need to accomplish to get to those things.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
This next article comes from Psychology Today, and it's you
can't do it all, so prioritize your values. This one
is not explicitly about financial values or prioritization, but it
certainly intersects with all those pieces, because again, we're whole
(16:47):
people and just like Jen was describing the four fs,
is what can really guide our spending and our financial goals.
And so when we can really understand ourselves, know what
we've value, we can kind of plan everything else around that.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Yeah, this was written by near Il, which is who's
a really really great author. I love his work. So
he's he's best known for like productivity. But and I
think while in this article he's talking about like core values,
we're going to kind of restructure it to be about
(17:24):
things you love to buy. So maybe the things outside
of the things money can't buy. That next step is
just like I like buying lattes because there is literally
there's no deeper meaningful reason. There's no like childhood trauma
I'm trying to correct by buying a latte.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I just like it.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
It's like it's that stuff.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Yeah. So they first describe converting your values into time,
so with what we've already talked about here of listing
out and categorizing faith, family, friends, fulfilling work, the things
that you value most, the things you want to do.
And I love the way that this particular article describes values.
(18:06):
They summarize it as who you want to become the
type of person that you want to be can also
help us get at well, then what does that say
about what I value? And then be able to talk
about from there, what are the tasks that are going
to get me there? So, like you just mentioned, Jen,
(18:26):
debt payoff is one of the things that will help
get me there. For me, flexibility with work is what
helps get me the time that I want with the
people that I love. But there's obviously monetary decisions that
have to go with that of how do I make
more or how do I live at this amount and
be content with that and it be enough. So all
(18:48):
of these things do eventually tight into our money, but
then identifying what tasks will help you move towards that
and again prioritizing from there and recognizing that that could
mean that a task or a goal takes you longer
than you thought it was going to take, or you
are deciding that that's not for you right now, you'll
(19:11):
revisit it later, or you're going to try to determine
how to do more with less because of the various
things that you have listed out. They talk about categorizing
things into work, relationships, and self So still a little
bit jacent to the four fs of faith, family, friends,
fulfilling work, so whatever kind of seems to resonate with you,
(19:33):
but listing out your values in each of those areas
and the monetary pieces that would be attached to that.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, I love the talk about like time boxing. It's
very like productivities. But I do find that I think
that I am capable of more in a time block
than I am actually capable of. And the more that
(20:00):
I time block, the more I realize what my actual
mental and physical capabilities are. So instead of feeling like
a failure for not being able to get everything I
think I should get done in a time block, I
can then either give myself more time for things or
I can expect less of myself in a time block.
(20:22):
If you're not measuring that, then you don't. Then you
just keep feeling guilty for not getting everything done that
you feel like you should get done in a day,
Like it's just this continuous like guilt. But if you
can measure it through this, then it becomes more of
like a learning experience. And maybe that's a little bit
(20:43):
of a pivot because I don't have any like tie
back to money, But I do appreciate the time boxing well.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
I think that some of what this is getting at
is the reality that so often what we value we
don't have to spend money on. So it's a little
bit of a bait and switch on our title of
what to do when your money and your values don't
align well. In reality, so often we can engage in
(21:11):
our values without spending money. So we will most likely
find that as we actually list out our values, there
are things we can do that really aren't costing us much,
and we can get a lot out of this life
without needing to hemorrhage cash. And we can realize, oh,
I didn't actually need to spend in order to have community,
spend time with friends, have an adventure, or I didn't
(21:33):
need to spend as much as I thought that I
needed to. Again, not advocating for deprivation or never spending,
but recognizing that we can get at these things. I
can seek to learn a language, read more, spend time
with family, have trips, that all of it doesn't need
(21:54):
to cost anything or much that maybe I would have
thought it needed to if I didn't engage in this
process of first identifying values and backtracking from there.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yes, absolutely, but there will be things outside of your
values that outside of your you know your core four
that you want to buy. And so they give some good,
like tried and true techniques for prioritizing competing values. So
the first is give seasons to your life, and we
(22:28):
say that all the time. Embrace your seasons. But you
can create essentially like time limits, time limits seasons. So
they say like ninety days to a year. I would
say probably closer to ninety days play into your your
limits for instant gratification. For a lot of people, a
(22:48):
year is too far into the future to feel like reality.
And depending on where you are in your life, if
a month for you feels like a month, then maybe
three months is okay. If a month for you feels
like it's a second, then you know, maybe six months.
Whatever stage of life you're in, however fast you feel
(23:10):
like it's moving, gauge it. But you can set these
limits to where you focus on one thing before moving
to the next. So if a vacation is something that
you really want to prioritize, then setting a ninety day
almost challenge for yourself to save the amount you need
(23:31):
for that vacation, that's a really good season to implement.
And then you know that you're not just arbitrarily saving,
you're saving with a deadline. And so maybe something comes
up and you are, you know, tempted to spend at target,
and you have the choice to buy the planner or
(23:52):
to save the money for your vacation. Without with having
this self imposed limit, it's easier for you to say
to saving versus spending instead of if you just had
like I'm in general in theory saving for this vacation,
or I have the rest of the year to save
(24:13):
for it because I'm saving for five things at the
same time. No, if you've got five things to save for,
split them up into two month increments and just save
for them. That way, it will it will be much
more doable for that instant gratification part of your brain.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
I love this tip and I think it's it can
make sense probably for a lot of us, because our
life is lived in seasons. Maybe you get paid weekly
or bi weekly or monthly. That's kind of a version
of a financial season. We go through actual weather seasons
and seasons of the school year, and so we can
(24:51):
kind of harness that lived reality to our money and
be able to say, Okay, well, what do I want
to do with my money in this season and use
that as a goal too. Yeah, the next one on
here is to identify what's urgent. We can ask ourselves
what matters most right now. There could be five to
(25:13):
ten things that you want that all feel really important,
But what is the most important? What if nine of
them had to leave, what could you absolutely not do without?
And that's kind of related to the foundations that we
were talking about, Like the most urgent if you don't
have it yet, is a two thousand dollars emergency savings
(25:37):
and paying down high interest credit card debt. But then
beyond that, what's most urgent? For Eric and I? Recently
we've been spending a lot of money on just random
medical costs. Both of us have kind of come into
a season recently where there's just been a lot going
on and it has really depleted what we had saved
(25:59):
for our deduct the bull which is great that we
had it, but now that's the priority to begin saving
again to replenish what we've spent. So, yes, I want
to go on vacations. Yes, maybe eventually we'll want to
buy a second car. There's still more repairs we want
to do on the house, but this is the most
(26:19):
urgent because our physical health, physical bodies need to be
there to even be able to enjoy a vacation or
a working door to the patio. So that's just an example,
kind of low hanging fruit of what that looks like
for me to identify urgency.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
M hmm.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Next is to use the bubble sort method. So I
had never heard of this. So list your values on
a horizontal grid and then ask yourself which of the
two values is most important, and then move the most
important to the left. Then compare the second and third
and move the most important to the left, and can
(27:00):
you until your values are in order of importance from
left to right. So with your spending, this is a
little bit more like honestly, don't know how you do
this with core values either. I think it's a little
easy to say, hard to practice. But with your spending
not everything. You're not going to be saving for the vacation,
(27:22):
saving for the medical procedure one hundred percent of the time, right,
you need to also balance that or hold the tension
of that with instant gratification type stuff like small rewards,
So how do we decide what's worth it? Like in
(27:43):
your small rewards and what's not And so some of
it is being aware of marketing and advertising, knowing like
what desires are being manufactured for you and what your
true desires are getting swept up by all the advertising
on Instagram and TikTok, and using those physical barriers like
(28:07):
the thirty day cart, you know, keeping something in your
cart for thirty days, but also just kind of going
through your ninety day transaction inventory or even a month
if this is just something you wanted to kind of
you know, gloss overdo kind of semi quickly for the
last month and look at what your expenses are. What
(28:28):
expenses got you the result that you wanted them to get, like,
what gave you the happiness you were after whatever, And
what expenses do you not even remember what were a
result of poor planning or et cetera, et cetera. So
go back and look at your transactions to see what
(28:48):
which ones were meaningful and prioritize your past expenses and
that'll be very indicative of how you should spend moving forward.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
The next tip on technique here for prioritization is to
tackle the values that are simple to fulfill first. So
similar to when we go declutter our houses. We don't
want to begin with the most complicated area that feels overwhelming.
We don't want to go first to our memory box
(29:21):
and start slicing and dicing photos and meaningful cards. We
want to go to maybe one junk drawer or.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
The packet drawer, the back drawer.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Yes, the food drawer. So we just eat it and
declutter it in that way.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Eat snacks. That's the easiest way to declutter. Eat snacks.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
But if you've got this whole list of things, start
with what's simple too. And that may not mean this
is going to be a little bit like I'm talking
out of both sides of my mouth. It may not
mean that it is the biggest priority, but if it
can give you a quick win, then great. So let's
say getting yourself life insurance is on your list of things,
(30:05):
that this is something I really want to do with
my money, and it might not feel like the highest priority,
but it's something easy to accomplish, and you can find
an inexpensive term life insurance policy, get it done, automate it.
If investing is really important to you, and maybe you
don't have all of the money to be able to
(30:26):
invest right now, but you can start small and you
can invest twenty to one hundred bucks a month, put
it on automation. Start there that it doesn't take you
a lot of time and isn't going to necessarily cost
you a lot of time, energy or money going forward.
Give yourself some wins to kind of keep the momentum going,
(30:48):
and then identify, Okay, now what comes next. Tackle the
maybe the smallest debt first, even if it isn't necessarily
the most high interest, although I am going to encourage
you high interest at first, but give yourself some wins
and be able to take advantage of seeing that and
allow it to encourage you to do the next thing.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yeah, do what you need to do. The first thing
I thought of was like, don't save for the vacation first,
it's start. If you're new to prioritizing your values with
a limited income, then start small. Maybe you just say
for a date night and that means a dinner out
and a babysitter. That is the first thing we say
(31:29):
for because that can be saved for quick, and that's
a place where you can spend in alignment with your
values and see the result of that very quickly. And
once you get that, once you're able to afford a
beautiful dinner out with your partner and no kids. Like,
once you experience that, you want more of it. Yeah,
you want fewer planners from Target and you want more
(31:51):
of that good stuff.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
And the same strategies that you implemented to be able
to set money aside for that will be the exact
same strategies for say for maybe a larger goal or
wanting to set even more money aside quicker so that
you don't have to wait so long to achieve this goal.
And that's where all the stuff of earning more, paying
(32:13):
attention to the heavy hitters of our spending, and really
honing in.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Well that would be helped leads us to our last
part is follow the eighty twenty rule. And so he says,
you know, identify the twenty percent of your values that
contribute to eighty percent of what you want. For us,
we use the eighty twenty rule in saving essentially. So
I was talking to Haley from a price of avocado
(32:40):
toast and I and she was saying, like, when they
started paying off their debt, they sold like a high
price like paid off car and got a smaller one,
so they had like ten grand and that immediately paid
off all their credit card debt. That and one other thing,
(33:01):
and that was the thing that gave them the motivation
to say, like, oh my gosh, I think we can
pay off a debt. Before there was so much debt,
they didn't think they could. But with a big quick
win like that, that's what set them off. And that
was the Transportation is one of those eighty twenty things.
When you make one decision in a category like housing
(33:23):
and transportation, you can make so few other decisions and
the impact doesn't matter. And so that's why we like
harp On, especially housing and transportation so much, because those
are decisions that if you make those right, you make
(33:44):
them once every five, ten, fifteen years, and they make
a difference every day whether you're making the right decision
or not in the day to day. Because you made
one decision right, it impacts, you know, for decades later.
And so it really gives us like when you're focusing
(34:04):
on the twenty percent that makes the biggest impact, then
you can just the eighty percent of the time, you
can just kind of be at rest, right, Like you
don't have to be constantly overanalyzing all of your saving
decisions and so that's what we think. And with spending again,
if you're doing twenty percent of it right in the
(34:26):
highest impact areas, eighty percent can just be whatever and
you will still be okay.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
It's beautiful. Do you know what I think? Makes two
percent of our effort but ninety eight percent of our
return and reward.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
It is an oversized return for the effort, for sure.
Speaker 5 (34:49):
The bill of the week, that's right, it's time for
the best minute of your entire week.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Maybe a baby was born and his name is Williams.
Speaker 5 (35:08):
Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died,
and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Dust bills, Buffalo bills, Bill clon.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
This is the bill of the week.
Speaker 4 (35:21):
Hagee and Jill. This is Amber from East Tennessee. My
bill of the week is actually my rent because normally
this time of year rent goes up, but mine actually
went down by six dollars. I was so excited because
I was really stressing out about it, and now I
don't have to worry as bad. Thanks. I really love
(35:44):
what you do here.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
That's amazing. Take the wins. When you're expecting something to
increase in price and it decreases in price, even by
six dollars, But if you were anticipating it increased by
one hundred, then that's it's a big span.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
That's great. Yeah, we just renegotiated for our tenants to
stay in our house and I was trying to increase
it and all they did was like, hey, we want
to stay, but we really needed to stay the same.
And I was like, okay, okay, but has a landlord.
I just don't want to deal with all of I
(36:24):
don't it's going to save me money, honestly, Like it's
going to cost me that twelve hundred all of the
move out and the time to look for another tenant
and stuff like you know, I'm so negotiate with your
landlord and yes.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
Wow, hopefully they're not listening to this. They're gonna call
you up. Can you reduce our rent by six dollars?
Like Amber, this is very exciting. Amber, thanks for thinking
to call us and celebrate this little win. Here, if
you all want to submit your bill of the week,
if it has to do with something you thought was
(37:04):
going to increase but it decreased instead and you're just
over the moon about it, or again, if you're a
human who was born with the name Bill. We just
love to hear from you, Frugal Friends podcast dot com
slash Bill. We can't wait for it, and now it's
time for around you. All right.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
So this this question is kind of like tongue in cheek,
But is there a time you really wanted to spend
but your finances wouldn't allow it? What did you do? Jill?
Speaker 3 (37:44):
I did write this question?
Speaker 6 (37:46):
Good for you, Jill, and I I do feel like
all the time, like all that's why she wrote this
because she wanted to answer it, and you should.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
You should be able to ask questions that you want
to want to answer just because you want to share
the answer to that.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Well, here's the thing though, too. You love vulnerability, and
I feel like this is right on par with this.
I think we love to say how we have gotten
to a place of guilt free spending, but I think
it's important to still acknowledge that there are times that
I want things that it just isn't for me, and
(38:27):
I can feel okay about that. Again, it doesn't feel
like deprivation. Sometimes it feels like sacrifice. I've been able
to implement creativity to get the things that are important
to me. But yeah, even though I would qualify myself
as a little bit more of a saver than a spender,
I don't really struggle with impulse spending. But there's still
(38:49):
things I want and it's just like, yeah, that's not
necessarily in my spending plan. So, for example, right now
you've heard us talk about this. Jen and I are
working on a book. We're in the throes of it.
We're in the deep, deep trenches.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
My brain hurts of it.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
And because of this, we don't really have the time
to travel as much. Like this, Jen asked me, Hey,
what's your schedule for next month? We need to update
our calendar. Blah blah blah. I'm like, we're writing a book.
I'm not going anywhere. No one's coming here, We're not
doing anything.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Sa We're so used to her blocking out half of
the month for recording, so when she says she's like,
I'm not going anywhere, I'm like, oh my gosh, you're right.
We are writing nothing. We are actually writing a book.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
I am just I'm just sequestered to my home and
and that can feel different to me. And also there's
been some other demands for our money that have put
a bit of a financial pinch on us, but that's okay.
What that means is I had to take a deeper
(39:57):
look at what I really like about travel. Like I
always say, travel is a value, so I make room
for it, and it still is, but what exactly of it?
And I think one of the things that I realized
was the trying new things, the feeling like I'm having
an adventure, the getting out of the house, and then
to realize I can still have that. I can get
(40:21):
all of those things without needing to buy a plane
ticket or get a hotel. I can find those things
right here in my area. Hear me. I'm definitely going
to be traveling again in the future, but it's created
kind of this fun challenge to see what are the
things that I can do within driving distance and explore
(40:43):
within my area. So Eric and I have checked out
a state park that's like two hours away that we've
been wanting to check out. I have followed more accounts
on Instagram of fun things to do in Florida. We
found a race track, an amateur race track in our
area where they do bus races in figure eights. And
(41:06):
if that's not an adventure and an adrenaline rush.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
I don't know what else is.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
And so we've been to this race track that you
pay in cash and it's really inexpensive to go, and
just exploring some things that are pretty low cost but
really fun. And I didn't know about until this new
kind of experience in my life where I've got these
(41:34):
boundaries and these parameters that are telling me that life
can't look exactly maybe how it did look a year ago.
But then to find ways to lean into that has
been really thrilling.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Yeah, I think you kind of hit the nail on
the head, Like for the purpose of this episode is
to take like a critical look on the things that
you quote unquote value and really dig deep to think
about what are the things about those things that I'm
actually after. Because I say this all the time, like
(42:09):
people are like I buy experiences, not things, and they're
talking about traveling vacations to these destinations. I was like,
that's not what it means. You don't want to travel.
You want X X or X, Like you want the
things that travel brings, and you can have those things
an other way. Traveling is not bad. Like we're going
(42:30):
to Mexico in June. I love it, but like I
am not a big traveler because I've identified like the
things that I want, I don't have to like get
on a plane for most of the time. Sometimes I do,
and I will do that, but I'm not like a
(42:50):
digital nomad traveler because I don't I can get experiences
without taking a road trip or get on a plane.
Those are actually my least favorite things about traveling planes
and cars.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
I love a plane ride because it is the only
time I can truly disconnect, Like I don't have Internet,
I can't text you or call you. I just feel
complete permission to disengage. Lane rides. Yeah, well that's okay.
We can enjoy different things, but for now I'm staying
put and I'm enjoying it. Yeah. Anyways, do you have
an example, Jen, Oh.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Gosh, I kind of forgot about it because I got
really invested in.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Your You're listening so well, you're active listening.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Yes, but I think, like, gosh, I let me see
if I can remember it. When I really wanted to
spend but my finances so okay. So I did want
to take a cruise with Kai and Travis this year,
(43:55):
but with the end of the renovation nearing, I didn't
want to like, I just want to have enough in
the bank account to accommodate any unforeseen things happening, and
they do, and they do, right, they have a reasonable Yeah,
so we said no, even though it's something I've wanted
(44:19):
to do for a year, Like I've wanted over a year.
I've been wanting to do this, and I didn't intentionally
say for it because all the savings have been going
to the renovation. It's just not the season for it.
It's just not And then yeah with the book, like
it's just I haven't had the capacity to plan for
(44:40):
any other financial goals other than this renovation and all
of my babies dayg medical expenses, gosh, this kid. So
so yeah, like we just had to decide that it
was not something normally we would do this stuff like
when we get quote unquote distributions from the business, which
(45:06):
sounds so not for business candidates, when we pay ourselves
a living wage. But it's just like not where I
budgeted our distribution this time around, which is how are you?
Speaker 3 (45:24):
How are you managing that though? Like you wanted to
go on a cruise with your family and you're realizing,
I just need more, I need that money to just
stay in the account.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Well, I use my comforter to cry into. That's why
I wash it regularly. But when I'm not doing that,
I am. I think we might go to a Disney World,
just Travis and I to like the after they have
an after hours party with shorter lines and Travis hat's lines.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
So which for most people going to Disney World would
be the more expensive option than a cruise, but for you,
being a Florida resident a day's drive of Disney.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Right, it is actually it is actually cheaper. So that
is maybe what we will do instead, Okay, But other
than that, I'm just kind of trying to, like, you know,
grip my teeth and get through it.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
It's lessons and contentment, I do think, and that's an
okay lesson to engage in. Yeah, thanks everyone for listening.
We really are enjoying reading your reviews. Speaking of things
we can do that don't cost us money, reading your
reviews and for you writing reviews, that's the way you
can support us without spending money. We really liked this
(46:47):
one from teeg in one four nine two The Perfect
Frugality Podcast, five stars, longtime listener who still enjoys every
new episode episode. Food full of relevant tips on how
to enjoy a frugal life, whether as a single person
or with a large family. Even when I think the
episode subject won't apply to me, I always hear accessible
(47:10):
tips with a bit of humor thrown in. I especially
love the tips and meal planning episodes. Keep up the
good work.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
I don't know how crying into my comforter is funny
to you take it.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
And I'm laughing.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Guys, thank you for listening. If you enjoyed the show,
please take a minute to leave a review. It would
be helpful if it was five stars. But we want
you to be honest, and.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
Be honest in the email.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
Yeah, remember I cry so when you're writing these reviews.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
See next time.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.
Speaker 3 (47:59):
You did something really nice today that I'm excited about.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Oh yeah, I'm excited. Well, I did it partly for me,
but mostly for you. I was in I was in
publics this morning buying my lunch, and I saw I
was going to buy some Jalipano kettle chips because we
finished your bag yesterday. And but as on my way
(48:23):
to the chip aisle, I passed an end cap with
chips and saw this special public's brand Jalapanio popper chips
kettle cooked, and I'm like, I, well, we have to know,
we gotta know, we have to know. Yeah, and so
I'm so excited to.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Know, me too. And that was so kind and thoughtful
to bring chippies because we realized yesterday when we ate
sandwiches together here that because that's a perk, that's a
perk of this situation. We can work together, we can
have lunch together, we can chit chat and laugh cry
into our comforters that we feel it is a tragedy
(49:11):
to serve sandwiches without chips. You've got to have the chippies.
Speaker 1 (49:15):
It's really it's rude to serve a sandwich without chippies.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
And so you should be on the watch list if
you're just out here eating sandwiches no chippies.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
Well, I was saying, like, I will at home, will
make myself a sandwich without chippies. But that's a self
worth issue. I would never treat my friends the way
I treat myself, and I will always add the chippies
for them.
Speaker 3 (49:41):
We really work on that. Deserving of chippies.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
I deserve them, and I just need to like continually,
like believe that just.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
A little crunch with the sandwich.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
If somebody could write a review and just like expound
on how chip worthy like is like five chippies.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
Like give us five chips, five chippies, and don't come
at me with carrot sticks and apple slices. You can
have those too, but you need the chippies.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
You need chippies.
Speaker 3 (50:13):
Yes, yes,
Episode three nine nine, How to Spend when your values
income don't align.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
save money, embrace simplicity, and liver your life. Here your hosts,
Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
my name is Jill, And how the heck are we
three hundred and ninety nine episodes in? Next week?
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Is gonna be it? Mean?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
I mean, it's not even next week, it's just in
it is next week. I guess this is a Friday episode.
Is gonna be so fun? I can't wait.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
If you know how to count, you know, episode four
hundred is coming.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Right, yes, but it's gonna be very fun. So please we're.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Celebrating six years to Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
If you are a longtime listener, new listener, you will
find something fun to laugh about. It's not going to
be financial, but it's gonna be a really good time.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
We'll probably talk about money, well probably, yeah, we will.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
But today's episode is about how to spend, How to
prioritize your spending when what you love, what you value
does the amount that it costs does not align with
the amount of income you are currently bringing in.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
It sounds so good to spend on your values. That
only really works if you have the money to spend.
It's like the Marie condo thing, like throw out anything
that doesn't bring joys, like, well, I gotta keep my
spatula and my pots and pans.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Well, Jill, And so I think this is like that. Yeah,
Marie would say, maybe the spatula in itself does not
spark joy, but the times you get to cook with
your child dispatch lots. So that's kind of the approach.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
We're taking a new mindset with it, because, yeah, you
may not love paying your electricity bill, but how do
we find room for that and begin to prioritize other
values and be able to make space for being able
to spend guilt free?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yes, but first, this episode is brought to you by
white text on a white background. That makes no sense. Right,
If your background is white, you should have text that
is literally any other color besides white. Right, But sometimes
you have white text on a pink button, and Gmail
hides that pink button because images are bad. So today's
(02:43):
sponsor wants to apologize. If you've signed up for the
friend letter and received your email to confirm your subscription
and there's no link there, and you were just like
these these girls don't know what they're doing. They have
no clue. It is not our problem. It is only
half our problem. If you actually highlight all the text
on the screen, you will see that there is a
(03:05):
white there's white text to confirm your subscription on a
white screen. And so we saw were sorry about that.
Uh so we urge you to double check your confirmation email.
If you are not getting the friend Letter but half
signed up, and if you haven't signed up, and maybe
you want to see how we've changed for the better,
head to frugalfriendspodcast dot com. Sign up for the friend Letter.
(03:28):
I changed it to the second worst color, very light blue.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I love this. Yeah, we're six years in, but we
still grassroots.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
We're still a small business. So thank you and sorry
and thank you.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
But if you are getting the friend Letter, you know
that there are polls at the bottom of every friend letter.
Some of them are just goofy because we just feel
like being goofy and goofy. Some of them help us
to plan the content of our episodes and learn more
about you guys. We just sent out a poll recently
(04:06):
that asked how do you decide what to spend on
when your values and your income don't align? This very
episode title essentially, and sixty four percent of you do
say that you prioritize what you will buy. We've got
a very judicious group of people, yes' soving dirient level.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Yeah, so that's kind of what we're gonna kind of
like form this episode to better help you prioritize. So
if you're looking for a few other episodes to queue
up after this one, episode three twenty eight What to
do when you feel broke with a six figure income.
This can really be any if you feel like you're
(04:46):
making enough. Your budget says you're making enough to cover
saving and expenses, but reality is not showing that. That's
a really good episode to queue up. And then episode
two seventy four, How to align your spending with your values.
That is a big values based spending primer that is
really a good foundation for what we're talking about here.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Yeah. So this first article comes from Forbes and it
is titled how to prioritize your money based on where
you are in your financial life. And we want to
go through a few of the things on this article
because we think it's important to highlight if we're feeling
as though our money and our income is not aligning,
it's worth the refresher on what are some of the
(05:30):
basics that we should be doing with our money can
be doing with our money to be able to continue
moving closer and closer to really aligning all of our decisions,
including money decisions, with the things that we value, the
lifestyle we want to be aiming at the person we
want to become. So they begin by talking about just
(05:52):
the foundation for those kind of just getting started and
wondering what even should I be doing with my money?
What are the priorities that are going to help me
get to this spending in alignment with my values? And
it includes the basics of financial literacy, like establishing an
(06:13):
emergency fund. So they list an establishment of if you're
just beginning about two to three thousand dollars in emergency
savings to kind of kickstart what's going to come next
for you. I think eventually we want to aim at
an emergency savings that is larger than two to three thousand,
(06:34):
something that is closer to three to six months of
your basic living expenses, taking it into consideration your medical
deductible some of these things that you might need access
to cash, and you don't necessarily want to put some
of these emergencies onto a credit card. This is that
(06:54):
buffer that's going to help you. So the two to
three thousand dollars is going to help with kind of
some un first seen maybe car trouble or home or repair.
But eventually we're going to want to get it larger
than that, but it is a great place to start.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah, these foundational these first three foundational things, these are
more important than anything you value. So these are the
things you want to stop. Like, nothing is more important
than these, Nothing you value is more important than these
three like foundational things. So stop what you're doing with
your spending until you are getting until you have that
(07:30):
two thousand dollars emergency savings, and hopefully it doesn't take
you that long. If you if your income is a
lot lower and your expenses are a lot lower, then
your emergency savings doesn't have to be sky high. It
may not have to be two or three thousand dollars.
But getting something into a high yield savings account that's
(07:51):
separate from your regular spending account that can't see set
it forget it. That's super important. That's priority one. And
then priority two is to take the free money that
you get with your four oh one K match. So
if that's if you have it available to you, if
your employer offers a four oh one K match, to
(08:14):
be contributing at least that much into your four oh
one K. And if you're not sure, if you don't
know how to set it up, then you can contact
your HR department and they will walk you through it.
A lot of employers are just auto en rolling people
into the four oh one K with the match, so
a lot of times it's going in there you don't
(08:35):
even realize it. So that could be a super easy one.
And then the third one is they're saying so prioritizing
paying off debt with a high interest rate, and so
this article is saying anything above six percent, and so
we're because we really believe these foundations should be like
first foremost, really go after them. I'm going to say
(08:59):
ten anything double digits. So basically credit card debt, like
just getting to a place where you're not in recurring
credit card debt is so important. So doing something big, drastic,
like you know that can get you out of that
credit card debt, obviously not cashing out retirement accounts, but
(09:22):
looking at your lifestyle and thinking, Okay, I can do
this one thing and it will make a huge impact,
so I'm going to do it. Those are the three things.
I think that they're going to be more important than
any monetary thing that we can love or value.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Yeah, and once you've done those things, you consider you
can consider yourself to have built the foundation of your
finances and you can move beyond that or keep building
onto that. And so some of the things that they
then reference in this beyond the foundation stage is listing
your financial priorities that matter to you. Most really common
(10:00):
ones could be I want to buy a house, or
I want to grow my family, or I want to
get married have a wedding, and putting a monetary value
to all of those things. If it's a home, do
you want to be able to put twenty percent down?
Then calculate what twenty percent of the type of house
that you can afford might be. We also know that
(10:22):
for first time home buyers you don't have to do
that either. So depending on your situation, what is the
amount that you want to have for a down payment?
If you want to start a family. What do you
anticipate the parental costs are going to be, the medical costs,
the cost to welcome a new human into the world
and into your home. They're listing five to ten thousand dollars.
(10:44):
I'm going to imagine it's a little bit more than
that for immediate expenses.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Yeah, I would say that's that's about right.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Sure, Yeah, but yeah, depends on your medical deductible. How
much do you need for a wedding, So just yeah,
what are your financial goals? List them out and attach
a monetary amount to them.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Yeah, and so these are this is where we start
getting into your values. These are the values. Your financial
priorities should be the four f's sort of thing. So family, friends,
faith fulfilling work. If you're going after those things, then
you are going to have your financial priorities are going
(11:26):
to reflect those big things. So we're you know, we're
saving for the home, We're saving for the baby, We're
saving maybe to you know, quit our job, like build
a business, that sort of thing.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
I like how they put a calculator in here as well,
so they link to this savings calculator. I think a
lot of times we can kind of choose a number
and then not totally know how to get there. And
there is this handy dandy thing on the internet where
you can type in what is your goal amount. So
let's say I want to save five thousand dollars to
(11:57):
be able to take a couple of trips next year,
So I've got twelve months. You can type in the
time period in which you want to save that amount
within months, if you have any current savings that you're
already putting towards that goal. And then if these the
money is going to be in an account that's returning
you like an annual rate of return. Honestly, for checking accounts,
(12:22):
it's not going to be much. And they are talking
how you don't want to invest for short term or
mid term savings goals in the stock market. That's more
so we're talking retirement investing. But if you're using a
high yield savings account like the one at CIT Forrugal
Friends podcast dot com slash cit, you could earn an
(12:44):
annual percentage yield back on the money that you put
in if you don't need to touch it for a
certain amount of time, and we do recommend that, but
if it's a very short term goal, it's just going
to be sitting in a checking account. It's not going
to earn you much all that to say, you plug
in all these numbers and it spits back out a
monthly required savings. So if I wanted to save five
(13:04):
thousand dollars in one year and essentially not banking on
any percentage return on my money, it's going to be
four hundred and twenty nine dollars a month that I'd
have to save. So helpful to kind of put it
into perspective, how much am I going to have to
set aside? What might I have to rearrange in my
spending currently to be able to achieve this goal?
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yeah? And then the third part, the most important is
to prioritize these goals based on their importance. So if
you don't, I mean, if you don't have unlimited income,
you're not gonna be able to say for all of
these at once, and we don't think you should even
if you do have the income. We've seen time and
time again, when you set your focus to one thing
(13:49):
at a time, you achieve it faster, and you achieve
things that you know are really in direction of where
you want to go, that you can really take the
time time to make sure that your those second, third,
fourth priorities are actually priorities and they are where they
want to be, because a lot of times they can shift.
And when you're trying to put all your money towards
(14:11):
all these financial goals all at once, you can sometimes
realize you've been saving for something that you don't actually
need to be saving as as aggressively for, or maybe
at all. Uh So try to so list out these
things first, we'd say, like list out the four fs
(14:31):
and and under each category, define what that is for you,
Define what matters in there for you, and then think
about the financial goals you're gonna need to achieve to
get to each. So for me, when we were paying
off debt, I wasn't into the idea of paying off debt.
(14:52):
I didn't want to become debt free. I had no
desire to become debt free to say I don't have debt.
That was Travis. Travis just didn't like debt. For me,
it was wanting to foster eventually, we want to foster kids.
I worked in group homes for years, and foster care
has always been something that I'm super passionate about. So
(15:16):
I know how hard it is to foster. I know
the time required is much more and the energy and
emotions required is much more than a lot of people
realize going into it. And so Travis really like encouraged
me that, like, think of how easy, how much easier
(15:38):
this really hard thing will be to do if you
do not also have the pressure of making a debt payment,
therefore having to be beholden too a job that you
may not want, and having all these responsibilities around it
because of the debt. And that is what got me
(15:58):
to that financial goal. For me, It was not paying
off debt because I quote unquote should It was because
I had that family goal and that fulfilling work goal
to push me in that financial direction. So that's why
it's important to first prioritize the things money can't buy,
(16:20):
and then list out the financial goals you're going to
need to accomplish to get to those things.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
This next article comes from Psychology Today, and it's you
can't do it all, so prioritize your values. This one
is not explicitly about financial values or prioritization, but it
certainly intersects with all those pieces, because again, we're whole
(16:47):
people and just like Jen was describing the four fs,
is what can really guide our spending and our financial goals.
And so when we can really understand ourselves, know what
we've value, we can kind of plan everything else around that.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Yeah, this was written by near Il, which is who's
a really really great author. I love his work. So
he's he's best known for like productivity. But and I
think while in this article he's talking about like core values,
we're going to kind of restructure it to be about
(17:24):
things you love to buy. So maybe the things outside
of the things money can't buy. That next step is
just like I like buying lattes because there is literally
there's no deeper meaningful reason. There's no like childhood trauma
I'm trying to correct by buying a latte.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I just like it.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
It's like it's that stuff.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Yeah. So they first describe converting your values into time,
so with what we've already talked about here of listing
out and categorizing faith, family, friends, fulfilling work, the things
that you value most, the things you want to do.
And I love the way that this particular article describes values.
(18:06):
They summarize it as who you want to become the
type of person that you want to be can also
help us get at well, then what does that say
about what I value? And then be able to talk
about from there, what are the tasks that are going
to get me there? So, like you just mentioned, Jen,
(18:26):
debt payoff is one of the things that will help
get me there. For me, flexibility with work is what
helps get me the time that I want with the
people that I love. But there's obviously monetary decisions that
have to go with that of how do I make
more or how do I live at this amount and
be content with that and it be enough. So all
(18:48):
of these things do eventually tight into our money, but
then identifying what tasks will help you move towards that
and again prioritizing from there and recognizing that that could
mean that a task or a goal takes you longer
than you thought it was going to take, or you
are deciding that that's not for you right now, you'll
(19:11):
revisit it later, or you're going to try to determine
how to do more with less because of the various
things that you have listed out. They talk about categorizing
things into work, relationships, and self So still a little
bit jacent to the four fs of faith, family, friends,
fulfilling work, so whatever kind of seems to resonate with you,
(19:33):
but listing out your values in each of those areas
and the monetary pieces that would be attached to that.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, I love the talk about like time boxing. It's
very like productivities. But I do find that I think
that I am capable of more in a time block
than I am actually capable of. And the more that
(20:00):
I time block, the more I realize what my actual
mental and physical capabilities are. So instead of feeling like
a failure for not being able to get everything I
think I should get done in a time block, I
can then either give myself more time for things or
I can expect less of myself in a time block.
(20:22):
If you're not measuring that, then you don't. Then you
just keep feeling guilty for not getting everything done that
you feel like you should get done in a day,
Like it's just this continuous like guilt. But if you
can measure it through this, then it becomes more of
like a learning experience. And maybe that's a little bit
(20:43):
of a pivot because I don't have any like tie
back to money, But I do appreciate the time boxing well.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
I think that some of what this is getting at
is the reality that so often what we value we
don't have to spend money on. So it's a little
bit of a bait and switch on our title of
what to do when your money and your values don't
align well. In reality, so often we can engage in
(21:11):
our values without spending money. So we will most likely
find that as we actually list out our values, there
are things we can do that really aren't costing us much,
and we can get a lot out of this life
without needing to hemorrhage cash. And we can realize, oh,
I didn't actually need to spend in order to have community,
spend time with friends, have an adventure, or I didn't
(21:33):
need to spend as much as I thought that I
needed to. Again, not advocating for deprivation or never spending,
but recognizing that we can get at these things. I
can seek to learn a language, read more, spend time
with family, have trips, that all of it doesn't need
(21:54):
to cost anything or much that maybe I would have
thought it needed to if I didn't engage in this
process of first identifying values and backtracking from there.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yes, absolutely, but there will be things outside of your
values that outside of your you know your core four
that you want to buy. And so they give some good,
like tried and true techniques for prioritizing competing values. So
the first is give seasons to your life, and we
(22:28):
say that all the time. Embrace your seasons. But you
can create essentially like time limits, time limits seasons. So
they say like ninety days to a year. I would
say probably closer to ninety days play into your your
limits for instant gratification. For a lot of people, a
(22:48):
year is too far into the future to feel like reality.
And depending on where you are in your life, if
a month for you feels like a month, then maybe
three months is okay. If a month for you feels
like it's a second, then you know, maybe six months.
Whatever stage of life you're in, however fast you feel
(23:10):
like it's moving, gauge it. But you can set these
limits to where you focus on one thing before moving
to the next. So if a vacation is something that
you really want to prioritize, then setting a ninety day
almost challenge for yourself to save the amount you need
(23:31):
for that vacation, that's a really good season to implement.
And then you know that you're not just arbitrarily saving,
you're saving with a deadline. And so maybe something comes
up and you are, you know, tempted to spend at target,
and you have the choice to buy the planner or
(23:52):
to save the money for your vacation. Without with having
this self imposed limit, it's easier for you to say
to saving versus spending instead of if you just had
like I'm in general in theory saving for this vacation,
or I have the rest of the year to save
(24:13):
for it because I'm saving for five things at the
same time. No, if you've got five things to save for,
split them up into two month increments and just save
for them. That way, it will it will be much
more doable for that instant gratification part of your brain.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
I love this tip and I think it's it can
make sense probably for a lot of us, because our
life is lived in seasons. Maybe you get paid weekly
or bi weekly or monthly. That's kind of a version
of a financial season. We go through actual weather seasons
and seasons of the school year, and so we can
(24:51):
kind of harness that lived reality to our money and
be able to say, Okay, well, what do I want
to do with my money in this season and use
that as a goal too. Yeah, the next one on
here is to identify what's urgent. We can ask ourselves
what matters most right now. There could be five to
(25:13):
ten things that you want that all feel really important,
But what is the most important? What if nine of
them had to leave, what could you absolutely not do without?
And that's kind of related to the foundations that we
were talking about, Like the most urgent if you don't
have it yet, is a two thousand dollars emergency savings
(25:37):
and paying down high interest credit card debt. But then
beyond that, what's most urgent? For Eric and I? Recently
we've been spending a lot of money on just random
medical costs. Both of us have kind of come into
a season recently where there's just been a lot going
on and it has really depleted what we had saved
(25:59):
for our deduct the bull which is great that we
had it, but now that's the priority to begin saving
again to replenish what we've spent. So, yes, I want
to go on vacations. Yes, maybe eventually we'll want to
buy a second car. There's still more repairs we want
to do on the house, but this is the most
(26:19):
urgent because our physical health, physical bodies need to be
there to even be able to enjoy a vacation or
a working door to the patio. So that's just an example,
kind of low hanging fruit of what that looks like
for me to identify urgency.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
M hmm.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Next is to use the bubble sort method. So I
had never heard of this. So list your values on
a horizontal grid and then ask yourself which of the
two values is most important, and then move the most
important to the left. Then compare the second and third
and move the most important to the left, and can
(27:00):
you until your values are in order of importance from
left to right. So with your spending, this is a
little bit more like honestly, don't know how you do
this with core values either. I think it's a little
easy to say, hard to practice. But with your spending
not everything. You're not going to be saving for the vacation,
(27:22):
saving for the medical procedure one hundred percent of the time, right,
you need to also balance that or hold the tension
of that with instant gratification type stuff like small rewards,
So how do we decide what's worth it? Like in
(27:43):
your small rewards and what's not And so some of
it is being aware of marketing and advertising, knowing like
what desires are being manufactured for you and what your
true desires are getting swept up by all the advertising
on Instagram and TikTok, and using those physical barriers like
(28:07):
the thirty day cart, you know, keeping something in your
cart for thirty days, but also just kind of going
through your ninety day transaction inventory or even a month
if this is just something you wanted to kind of
you know, gloss overdo kind of semi quickly for the
last month and look at what your expenses are. What
(28:28):
expenses got you the result that you wanted them to get, like,
what gave you the happiness you were after whatever, And
what expenses do you not even remember what were a
result of poor planning or et cetera, et cetera. So
go back and look at your transactions to see what
(28:48):
which ones were meaningful and prioritize your past expenses and
that'll be very indicative of how you should spend moving forward.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
The next tip on technique here for prioritization is to
tackle the values that are simple to fulfill first. So
similar to when we go declutter our houses. We don't
want to begin with the most complicated area that feels overwhelming.
We don't want to go first to our memory box
(29:21):
and start slicing and dicing photos and meaningful cards. We
want to go to maybe one junk drawer or.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
The packet drawer, the back drawer.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Yes, the food drawer. So we just eat it and
declutter it in that way.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Eat snacks. That's the easiest way to declutter. Eat snacks.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
But if you've got this whole list of things, start
with what's simple too. And that may not mean this
is going to be a little bit like I'm talking
out of both sides of my mouth. It may not
mean that it is the biggest priority, but if it
can give you a quick win, then great. So let's
say getting yourself life insurance is on your list of things,
(30:05):
that this is something I really want to do with
my money, and it might not feel like the highest priority,
but it's something easy to accomplish, and you can find
an inexpensive term life insurance policy, get it done, automate it.
If investing is really important to you, and maybe you
don't have all of the money to be able to
(30:26):
invest right now, but you can start small and you
can invest twenty to one hundred bucks a month, put
it on automation. Start there that it doesn't take you
a lot of time and isn't going to necessarily cost
you a lot of time, energy or money going forward.
Give yourself some wins to kind of keep the momentum going,
(30:48):
and then identify, Okay, now what comes next. Tackle the
maybe the smallest debt first, even if it isn't necessarily
the most high interest, although I am going to encourage
you high interest at first, but give yourself some wins
and be able to take advantage of seeing that and
allow it to encourage you to do the next thing.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yeah, do what you need to do. The first thing
I thought of was like, don't save for the vacation first,
it's start. If you're new to prioritizing your values with
a limited income, then start small. Maybe you just say
for a date night and that means a dinner out
and a babysitter. That is the first thing we say
(31:29):
for because that can be saved for quick, and that's
a place where you can spend in alignment with your
values and see the result of that very quickly. And
once you get that, once you're able to afford a
beautiful dinner out with your partner and no kids. Like,
once you experience that, you want more of it. Yeah,
you want fewer planners from Target and you want more
(31:51):
of that good stuff.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
And the same strategies that you implemented to be able
to set money aside for that will be the exact
same strategies for say for maybe a larger goal or
wanting to set even more money aside quicker so that
you don't have to wait so long to achieve this goal.
And that's where all the stuff of earning more, paying
(32:13):
attention to the heavy hitters of our spending, and really
honing in.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Well that would be helped leads us to our last
part is follow the eighty twenty rule. And so he says,
you know, identify the twenty percent of your values that
contribute to eighty percent of what you want. For us,
we use the eighty twenty rule in saving essentially. So
I was talking to Haley from a price of avocado
(32:40):
toast and I and she was saying, like, when they
started paying off their debt, they sold like a high
price like paid off car and got a smaller one,
so they had like ten grand and that immediately paid
off all their credit card debt. That and one other thing,
(33:01):
and that was the thing that gave them the motivation
to say, like, oh my gosh, I think we can
pay off a debt. Before there was so much debt,
they didn't think they could. But with a big quick
win like that, that's what set them off. And that
was the Transportation is one of those eighty twenty things.
When you make one decision in a category like housing
(33:23):
and transportation, you can make so few other decisions and
the impact doesn't matter. And so that's why we like
harp On, especially housing and transportation so much, because those
are decisions that if you make those right, you make
(33:44):
them once every five, ten, fifteen years, and they make
a difference every day whether you're making the right decision
or not in the day to day. Because you made
one decision right, it impacts, you know, for decades later.
And so it really gives us like when you're focusing
(34:04):
on the twenty percent that makes the biggest impact, then
you can just the eighty percent of the time, you
can just kind of be at rest, right, Like you
don't have to be constantly overanalyzing all of your saving
decisions and so that's what we think. And with spending again,
if you're doing twenty percent of it right in the
(34:26):
highest impact areas, eighty percent can just be whatever and
you will still be okay.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
It's beautiful. Do you know what I think? Makes two
percent of our effort but ninety eight percent of our
return and reward.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
It is an oversized return for the effort, for sure.
Speaker 5 (34:49):
The bill of the week, that's right, it's time for
the best minute of your entire week.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Maybe a baby was born and his name is Williams.
Speaker 5 (35:08):
Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died,
and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Dust bills, Buffalo bills, Bill clon.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
This is the bill of the week.
Speaker 4 (35:21):
Hagee and Jill. This is Amber from East Tennessee. My
bill of the week is actually my rent because normally
this time of year rent goes up, but mine actually
went down by six dollars. I was so excited because
I was really stressing out about it, and now I
don't have to worry as bad. Thanks. I really love
(35:44):
what you do here.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
That's amazing. Take the wins. When you're expecting something to
increase in price and it decreases in price, even by
six dollars, But if you were anticipating it increased by
one hundred, then that's it's a big span.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
That's great. Yeah, we just renegotiated for our tenants to
stay in our house and I was trying to increase
it and all they did was like, hey, we want
to stay, but we really needed to stay the same.
And I was like, okay, okay, but has a landlord.
I just don't want to deal with all of I
(36:24):
don't it's going to save me money, honestly, Like it's
going to cost me that twelve hundred all of the
move out and the time to look for another tenant
and stuff like you know, I'm so negotiate with your
landlord and yes.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
Wow, hopefully they're not listening to this. They're gonna call
you up. Can you reduce our rent by six dollars?
Like Amber, this is very exciting. Amber, thanks for thinking
to call us and celebrate this little win. Here, if
you all want to submit your bill of the week,
if it has to do with something you thought was
(37:04):
going to increase but it decreased instead and you're just
over the moon about it, or again, if you're a
human who was born with the name Bill. We just
love to hear from you, Frugal Friends podcast dot com
slash Bill. We can't wait for it, and now it's
time for around you. All right.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
So this this question is kind of like tongue in cheek,
But is there a time you really wanted to spend
but your finances wouldn't allow it? What did you do? Jill?
Speaker 3 (37:44):
I did write this question?
Speaker 6 (37:46):
Good for you, Jill, and I I do feel like
all the time, like all that's why she wrote this
because she wanted to answer it, and you should.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
You should be able to ask questions that you want
to want to answer just because you want to share
the answer to that.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Well, here's the thing though, too. You love vulnerability, and
I feel like this is right on par with this.
I think we love to say how we have gotten
to a place of guilt free spending, but I think
it's important to still acknowledge that there are times that
I want things that it just isn't for me, and
(38:27):
I can feel okay about that. Again, it doesn't feel
like deprivation. Sometimes it feels like sacrifice. I've been able
to implement creativity to get the things that are important
to me. But yeah, even though I would qualify myself
as a little bit more of a saver than a spender,
I don't really struggle with impulse spending. But there's still
(38:49):
things I want and it's just like, yeah, that's not
necessarily in my spending plan. So, for example, right now
you've heard us talk about this. Jen and I are
working on a book. We're in the throes of it.
We're in the deep, deep trenches.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
My brain hurts of it.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
And because of this, we don't really have the time
to travel as much. Like this, Jen asked me, Hey,
what's your schedule for next month? We need to update
our calendar. Blah blah blah. I'm like, we're writing a book.
I'm not going anywhere. No one's coming here, We're not
doing anything.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Sa We're so used to her blocking out half of
the month for recording, so when she says she's like,
I'm not going anywhere, I'm like, oh my gosh, you're right.
We are writing nothing. We are actually writing a book.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
I am just I'm just sequestered to my home and
and that can feel different to me. And also there's
been some other demands for our money that have put
a bit of a financial pinch on us, but that's okay.
What that means is I had to take a deeper
(39:57):
look at what I really like about travel. Like I
always say, travel is a value, so I make room
for it, and it still is, but what exactly of it?
And I think one of the things that I realized
was the trying new things, the feeling like I'm having
an adventure, the getting out of the house, and then
to realize I can still have that. I can get
(40:21):
all of those things without needing to buy a plane
ticket or get a hotel. I can find those things
right here in my area. Hear me. I'm definitely going
to be traveling again in the future, but it's created
kind of this fun challenge to see what are the
things that I can do within driving distance and explore
(40:43):
within my area. So Eric and I have checked out
a state park that's like two hours away that we've
been wanting to check out. I have followed more accounts
on Instagram of fun things to do in Florida. We
found a race track, an amateur race track in our
area where they do bus races in figure eights. And
(41:06):
if that's not an adventure and an adrenaline rush.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
I don't know what else is.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
And so we've been to this race track that you
pay in cash and it's really inexpensive to go, and
just exploring some things that are pretty low cost but
really fun. And I didn't know about until this new
kind of experience in my life where I've got these
(41:34):
boundaries and these parameters that are telling me that life
can't look exactly maybe how it did look a year ago.
But then to find ways to lean into that has
been really thrilling.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Yeah, I think you kind of hit the nail on
the head, Like for the purpose of this episode is
to take like a critical look on the things that
you quote unquote value and really dig deep to think
about what are the things about those things that I'm
actually after. Because I say this all the time, like
(42:09):
people are like I buy experiences, not things, and they're
talking about traveling vacations to these destinations. I was like,
that's not what it means. You don't want to travel.
You want X X or X, Like you want the
things that travel brings, and you can have those things
an other way. Traveling is not bad. Like we're going
(42:30):
to Mexico in June. I love it, but like I
am not a big traveler because I've identified like the
things that I want, I don't have to like get
on a plane for most of the time. Sometimes I do,
and I will do that, but I'm not like a
(42:50):
digital nomad traveler because I don't I can get experiences
without taking a road trip or get on a plane.
Those are actually my least favorite things about traveling planes
and cars.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
I love a plane ride because it is the only
time I can truly disconnect, Like I don't have Internet,
I can't text you or call you. I just feel
complete permission to disengage. Lane rides. Yeah, well that's okay.
We can enjoy different things, but for now I'm staying
put and I'm enjoying it. Yeah. Anyways, do you have
an example, Jen, Oh.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Gosh, I kind of forgot about it because I got
really invested in.
Speaker 3 (43:29):
Your You're listening so well, you're active listening.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Yes, but I think, like, gosh, I let me see
if I can remember it. When I really wanted to
spend but my finances so okay. So I did want
to take a cruise with Kai and Travis this year,
(43:55):
but with the end of the renovation nearing, I didn't
want to like, I just want to have enough in
the bank account to accommodate any unforeseen things happening, and
they do, and they do, right, they have a reasonable Yeah,
so we said no, even though it's something I've wanted
(44:19):
to do for a year, Like I've wanted over a year.
I've been wanting to do this, and I didn't intentionally
say for it because all the savings have been going
to the renovation. It's just not the season for it.
It's just not And then yeah with the book, like
it's just I haven't had the capacity to plan for
(44:40):
any other financial goals other than this renovation and all
of my babies dayg medical expenses, gosh, this kid. So
so yeah, like we just had to decide that it
was not something normally we would do this stuff like
when we get quote unquote distributions from the business, which
(45:06):
sounds so not for business candidates, when we pay ourselves
a living wage. But it's just like not where I
budgeted our distribution this time around, which is how are you?
Speaker 3 (45:24):
How are you managing that though? Like you wanted to
go on a cruise with your family and you're realizing,
I just need more, I need that money to just
stay in the account.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Well, I use my comforter to cry into. That's why
I wash it regularly. But when I'm not doing that,
I am. I think we might go to a Disney World,
just Travis and I to like the after they have
an after hours party with shorter lines and Travis hat's lines.
Speaker 3 (45:58):
So which for most people going to Disney World would
be the more expensive option than a cruise, but for you,
being a Florida resident a day's drive of Disney.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Right, it is actually it is actually cheaper. So that
is maybe what we will do instead, Okay, But other
than that, I'm just kind of trying to, like, you know,
grip my teeth and get through it.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
It's lessons and contentment, I do think, and that's an
okay lesson to engage in. Yeah, thanks everyone for listening.
We really are enjoying reading your reviews. Speaking of things
we can do that don't cost us money, reading your
reviews and for you writing reviews, that's the way you
can support us without spending money. We really liked this
(46:47):
one from teeg in one four nine two The Perfect
Frugality Podcast, five stars, longtime listener who still enjoys every
new episode episode. Food full of relevant tips on how
to enjoy a frugal life, whether as a single person
or with a large family. Even when I think the
episode subject won't apply to me, I always hear accessible
(47:10):
tips with a bit of humor thrown in. I especially
love the tips and meal planning episodes. Keep up the
good work.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
I don't know how crying into my comforter is funny
to you take it.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
And I'm laughing.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Guys, thank you for listening. If you enjoyed the show,
please take a minute to leave a review. It would
be helpful if it was five stars. But we want
you to be honest, and.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
Be honest in the email.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
Yeah, remember I cry so when you're writing these reviews.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
See next time.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.
Speaker 3 (47:59):
You did something really nice today that I'm excited about.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Oh yeah, I'm excited. Well, I did it partly for me,
but mostly for you. I was in I was in
publics this morning buying my lunch, and I saw I
was going to buy some Jalipano kettle chips because we
finished your bag yesterday. And but as on my way
(48:23):
to the chip aisle, I passed an end cap with
chips and saw this special public's brand Jalapanio popper chips
kettle cooked, and I'm like, I, well, we have to know,
we gotta know, we have to know. Yeah, and so
I'm so excited to.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Know, me too. And that was so kind and thoughtful
to bring chippies because we realized yesterday when we ate
sandwiches together here that because that's a perk, that's a
perk of this situation. We can work together, we can
have lunch together, we can chit chat and laugh cry
into our comforters that we feel it is a tragedy
(49:11):
to serve sandwiches without chips. You've got to have the chippies.
Speaker 1 (49:15):
It's really it's rude to serve a sandwich without chippies.
Speaker 3 (49:19):
And so you should be on the watch list if
you're just out here eating sandwiches no chippies.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
Well, I was saying, like, I will at home, will
make myself a sandwich without chippies. But that's a self
worth issue. I would never treat my friends the way
I treat myself, and I will always add the chippies
for them.
Speaker 3 (49:41):
We really work on that. Deserving of chippies.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
I deserve them, and I just need to like continually,
like believe that just.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
A little crunch with the sandwich.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
If somebody could write a review and just like expound
on how chip worthy like is like five chippies.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
Like give us five chips, five chippies, and don't come
at me with carrot sticks and apple slices. You can
have those too, but you need the chippies.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
You need chippies.
Speaker 3 (50:13):
Yes, yes,
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