November 26, 2025 • 21 mins
What if your worth didn’t hinge on output, perfection, or constant bloom? We dive into the real meaning of unconditional love and why it’s hardest to offer ourselves. From the tender roots of childhood to the playful wisdom of a rescue kitten, we unpack how acceptance not achievement creates safety, confidence, and healthier relationships.
We start by acknowledging how early experiences shape the way we love ourselves, then show a practical path to relearn it: inner child work you can feel in your body. Picture the younger you, offer a long, sincere hug, and replace the old deal of “I’ll be lovable when…” with “I’m worthy now.” Pets become our unlikely teachers; the way we adore a mischievous animal becomes a blueprint for daily self-kindness. We talk rituals that stabilize mood light, food, short check-ins. and how gentle maintenance beats self-criticism every time.
A simple nature metaphor anchors the episode: be like a tree. Some days you blossom; many days you root. Both are valuable. That reframe softens shame on “still” days, loosens the grip of hustle culture, and paradoxically fuels sustainable ambition. We also explore how unconditional self-respect attracts people who treat you well and filters out those who feed on doubt. Expect clear practices naming needs, saying no without a story, celebrating small wins to help you embody this shift.
If you’re ready to trade performance for presence and pressure for steadiness, this conversation offers tools, stories, and permission to begin. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a softer voice in their head, and leave a review with one takeaway you’ll try this week.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
What do they say about unconditional love?
SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
It's the best kind of love, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01 (00:06):
It is without any ties, without any condition.
And yet, so many of us find itso hard to give ourselves
unconditional love.
SPEAKER_00 (00:18):
Because if you give yourself unconditional love and
you love yourselfunconditionally, it gives others
permission to do the same.
Isn't that odd?
They actually they realize thatyou love yourself even with your
flaws and all yourimperfections, and that allows
(00:42):
them to love you.
SPEAKER_01 (00:43):
Exactly.
And that's what we're going tobe chatting about in this week's
episode of Get Real with theEnglish Sisters Mind, Health and
Anxiety.
And thank you all so much forshowing up for us on YouTube
where we have the video versionand on at Get Real with the
(01:04):
English Sisters on Instagram tooand X.
You've been so wonderful gettingin touch and sending us your
comments.
SPEAKER_00 (01:14):
Yeah, it's been lovely reading them.
Thank you very much.
And it's really helpful.
It does, it kind of boosts ourmorale as well because we we
write to each other, hey, lookat this comment.
It gives us it gives usinspiration to continue going.
So it's great.
SPEAKER_01 (01:32):
Yeah, we feel that we're feeling the love.
We're feeling emotional love.
SPEAKER_00 (01:36):
Yes, coming our way.
Yay! Because um, yeah, that itit is it's it's a kind of love
that if you receive it whenyou're young, when you're a
baby, and when you're little, itit is a blessing to to receive
that kind of love.
(01:58):
And it can it can be very, veryhealing.
It is very, very healing.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
We know all of you, some of you may not have had
that as children.
We were lucky enough to feelunconditional love from our
parents, where that whatever wedid, um with our choices in
life, they always supported us,and we always felt, we always
felt that we were loved, youknow, we didn't have to like
(02:27):
justify to ourselves, oh we didthis, and they love us because
we were like good or because wewere clever.
Uh it was lovely to it's alovely thing to be able to
experience, but we know if youhave not been as lucky as we
have to have had that kind oflove, it is a journey of
self-love that you have to beginto discover exactly on your own.
SPEAKER_00 (02:52):
Yes, it's um it's learning to to laugh at
yourself, learning to look atyourself with that with a softer
eye.
Uh because it's like if you havea puppy, you wouldn't expect the
puppy not to make any messes orany mistakes, would you?
(03:15):
And yet you treat your if youtreat yourself with that kind of
love, you will you will not gowrong because that's the kind of
love most of us have, like withpets or with very small
creatures that we have.
Small creatures, who do we have?
Pets, obviously.
Sounds like we've got littlefairies in our house, little
(03:37):
magical creatures that we lookafter.
And you've got your turtles, isthat what you're referring to?
Well, it's just anything,really.
Yes.
I sort of think that if youlove, if you love them
unconditionally, and that's whya lot of people say actually
that's why they love their petsmore than other humans, because
they say, My pet will just loveme unconditionally.
(03:58):
They don't care what what I'vebeen up to during the day, if I
failed at this or I failed atthat, and I didn't get in here
and in use uni or didn't dothat, they'll come home and
they'll still love me.
And I think that's a kind oflove that we have to learn to
give ourselves.
We have to understand that weare the pet.
(04:23):
And if we look at ourselves likewe would look at our pets, or
you know, something gentle,something fragile, something
that needs to be nurtured, thenwe'll find that we'll nurture
ourselves more with that kind ofcare.
SPEAKER_01 (04:38):
Well, I think that's why pets are so healing, aren't
they?
Yes, that's why they arehealing.
Yeah.
It's a good thing if you'venever had a pet, if you can,
even if it's just a little smallfurry animal, to get something
that you can, you know, you canshare your love with.
SPEAKER_00 (04:56):
Yes, yes, definitely.
I mean, now my son, he's 25 now,and for the first time in his
life, he's actually got his ownlittle pet, a little kitten that
he he saved.
It was a rescue kitten that hefound in the garden, in
somebody's garden on a holiday.
And it was just completelyabandoned and so so tiny.
And he's had to look after itand give it the bottle and and
(05:18):
and feed it and look after it,and now it gets up to all sorts
of mischief.
And I can see him, ah, he says,Oh gosh, what a little rascal he
is.
He's all up to all sorts oftrouble getting the toilet
paper, goodness that he biteshis feet.
He's up to in the morning, hewakes him up, he says he nibbles
my ears, he does all kinds oflittle mischief things, but yet
(05:40):
the love that he has for thislittle kitten, and he says, It's
actually really amazing becauseit's my first.
I know at home we've had dogsand cats and all kinds of little
animals, but he said, for me,it's my first pet in my own
apartment, and I really feellove for it.
(06:01):
Yeah, I really feel this, itdoesn't really matter what that
pet does, what that littlekitten does.
He loves that kitten.
Boy, does he love it, you know?
Because he's nurtured it, he'staken care of it, and he he's
put time and energy into it.
So that's why I say if we lookafter ourselves the same way.
SPEAKER_01 (06:22):
Well, we have to put time and energy into ourselves,
and so many of us aren't willingto do that or don't know how to
do that because we've never doneit.
SPEAKER_00 (06:33):
We've never done it, we've never looked at ourselves
and looked inside and seen thatsmall, fragile child, which is
what we all have inside us.
We all have that child insideus, no matter how grown up we
are, there's a fragility withinus that still needs to be
(06:53):
nurtured and loved and loved somuch.
That's why the example of thepet is similar because we we do
have that in us.
SPEAKER_01 (07:07):
Yeah, I think um I think like like if you if you if
you want to to think about itfor a moment, if you think about
your inner child and think, waswas was my inner child loved um
by by the people that took careof me, by my parents or my
caregivers.
(07:27):
And if your inner child wasn'tloved, you can say, Well, I'm
here for you now because I'm anadult and I know about these
things, and I've learned how Ican give you my inner child
love, and you can give your yourinner child a hug, and you can
just stay there with her or himor they for a while and just
(07:52):
just love them and until alovely inner smile come out, and
they they will thank you, andthen that will carry with you
throughout your day and in thedays to come, and you'll feel
more love for yourself and moreforgiveness as well.
SPEAKER_00 (08:11):
Yes, absolutely.
Well while you were saying that,I was thinking of a little
photograph of me as a child, asa five-year-old, and um so I
could I could visualize that sothat can help as well if you
look through some old photos ofyou and you can sort of uh pick
one and just see that child andsee that child within yourself,
(08:34):
and uh you know, be you know,you can help that child.
Be kind, be kind, you can lovethat child, uh, and you can
nurture definitely, it's a goodthat's a good way, and to and to
know that with all our flaws, weare enough.
SPEAKER_01 (08:54):
We don't need to be perfect, we don't need to be
like the perfect parents or theperfect children or the perfect
employees or the perfect boss.
We just because that's whatmakes us so special, the fact
that we're not perfect, and thefact that we're learning all the
time and we're always evolvingand learning, and and that's
(09:18):
what make life so so wonderful,really.
SPEAKER_00 (09:23):
A tree isn't required to blossom every day.
A tree is just required to standstill and and and to live.
So it's not every day that wehave to do exceptional things,
it's the little things in everyday that count.
So sometimes it just means wejust stand still and look at
(09:45):
ourselves and look inside, andeven if we're not doing these
amazing things all the time,we're we're we're getting along
with our lives.
SPEAKER_01 (09:56):
And we're and we're showing ourselves kindness as
well as it's not.
It's that kindness, thateveryday kindness.
SPEAKER_00 (10:02):
The kindness is that even if we're not doing amazing
things, we're getting up in themorning, we're going along with
our day, we're standing there,we're living, we're being
present just like the tree is,and that's enough.
That's enough for many days.
Then there'll come a time whenwe're blossomed too, and we can
(10:24):
produce fruits and flowers andeverything else, but for the
moment we're part of a largerforest.
SPEAKER_01 (10:32):
And we've lovely, yeah, we're part of a larger
forest, and the more we nurturethat forest, the more we'll feel
good and loved ourselves, andwe'll be able to blossom one
day.
And and you know, if we justaccept the fact that every day
we make what about if we neverblossom, doesn't matter, we're
(10:54):
there, we're part of it.
SPEAKER_00 (10:56):
We're part of a larger forest where there's
we're contributing.
We're contributing, our presenceis still of great value, even
though we're just sitting thereeating.
SPEAKER_01 (11:10):
And because a lot of people might think that they've
never blossomed or that theywon't blossom.
SPEAKER_00 (11:15):
Yes, but they're still doing the little things
and they're they're part of alarger thing because even if
they're just there and they'remanaging to have their breakfast
in the morning or whatever itis, they're still contributing
to a larger, a larger plan, alarger forest, aren't they?
SPEAKER_01 (11:35):
They're very what you're the the tiny thing that
you do, you don't know what thatwill blossom into.
Your one action could blossominto someone or something you
say might give someone else athought that could have a
scientific breakthrough orsomething.
You don't know.
Exactly.
You don't know, you're not indoing anything here of what
(11:59):
you're doing, but a kind wordthat you may give out to
yourself or to someone else thatday might make someone have a
light bulb moment for all youknow.
We're all connected in everyway, aren't we?
SPEAKER_00 (12:12):
We are absolutely connected.
That's why I said, even ifyou're there sitting eating the
honey, you're there because theother day I was just thinking
I've done nothing today.
I'm just eating honey.
Then I actually looked at thelittle jar of honey and I
thought, well, I'm actuallyhelping the person that's making
this honey.
You know, so even me justsitting here eating honey has
(12:34):
helped somebody else who'sproducing the honey.
Exactly, and I am, I am doingsomething, and even if it's not
much for today, it's enough fortoday.
And I will love myself in thisbody, in my person, even though
I am not producing, and I'm not,I don't feel you are you are a
(12:55):
person that always feels thatyou have to be doing something.
Yeah, so if I have those sickdays or those days, I think, oh
god, I'm not doing anythingtoday, you know.
What on earth?
And then I thought, no, I'meating honey, I'm having my
toast, that's fine.
That's just good enough fortoday because sometimes it's
just the little things, and Iwill love myself completely
(13:18):
today for that, and with all myflaws and imperfections, my
illnesses that I may have.
And sometimes you have to lookat yourself and think that you
know you have to accept that.
SPEAKER_01 (13:32):
Yeah, I think it's hard for people that are real
go-getters or they're alwaysstriving for something to just
accept those days where they'renot doing anything.
That's why they criticizethemselves for they realise
they're standing still, likeeither.
Yeah, and they're not likeloving themselves for that
(13:53):
moment either, for just beingstill and and and knowing that
maybe that still day is whatthey need, and then tomorrow may
not be a still day.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (14:05):
Tomorrow may be the day when they're and it may not.
It may not, their roots may haveabsorbed enough nutrients for
them to go on, or maybe not,maybe they need some still some
more quiet time, and thatdoesn't matter.
It really doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_01 (14:23):
But what do you say to those people that feel as if
they can't love themselvesbecause they feel as if they're
like not happy with themselves?
SPEAKER_00 (14:32):
Because they haven't done enough, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:34):
Because they're not they haven't done enough or they
haven't lived up to what theirparents wanted them to be.
Um what do you say to that?
SPEAKER_00 (14:45):
How can you how can you, if you're in that
situation, how can you stilllove yourself for that when you
are doing because you are stilla tree if we're going back to
that metaphor, and you areworthy, and your existence is
important, and you're here for areason.
(15:06):
You are definitely here for areason.
You can believe in a spiritualreason or just a reason for
because you're connected witheverything else in this world,
you're part of the universe.
I say to those people, lookinside, go inside, imagine that
photograph of you as a littleperson, and go inside and see
(15:29):
yourself as that child and andgive yourself one of the biggest
hugs possible.
You can imagine yourself grownup and going towards yourself,
and and actually, you can eitherpick yourself up literally and
hug yourself wonderfully andwarmly, and give yourself a
really long embrace, a real onewhere you can feel the small
(15:54):
heart and your larger heart nowconnecting and melding into as
one, and truly appreciateeverything that has gone on in
your life, and you'll see thatyou have done much with your
life, but you may not have doneanything, but you have done
because your heart is beating,and you are you are part of the
(16:17):
universe.
You have done whether youbelieve you you have not done
much for your as you as youbelieve, then you can seek what
is it that I want to be doing?
What is it?
Maybe you have loved somebodyelse, maybe you love somebody
and you don't realize how muchthat love is important to that
(16:40):
person, or for your pet.
Maybe you're taking care of youryour your dog or your cat, and
that has an importance.
It does.
SPEAKER_01 (16:49):
So what are you saying that you have done and
because sometimes I think peoplethey come to they come to re the
realization that they f theyfeel as if they're you know,
because maybe because they'reslightly depressed, they feel as
if they're like not worthy, thatthey haven't done enough.
I mean we see this with ourclients.
Yes, and the thing is that thissociety is always it's always
(17:14):
like making us strive for more.
Yes.
It's like we without evenrealizing we're always being
brainwashed into striving formore, wanting more, being more,
being more successful, wantingmore things, having more money,
having more financial uhsecurity, for instance.
When I think all these thingswill come more naturally to you
(17:37):
if you just allow yourself justto be and say, Well, it's okay,
today is a it's a tree day, andI'm yeah, yeah, you know, I'm
just here and I'm just chillingout, and it's fine.
Um, as long as I love myself,because I think when you begin
to truly love yourself andappreciate yourself, that's when
all the magic kind of unfoldsbecause you realize that because
(17:59):
you all of the need is love, andyou are, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (18:04):
You you are the song, yeah.
You are the yeah, it's goingback to ancient times.
Yes, it's back to the ancienttimes.
We're mammals, we're like thoselittle pets.
What were we supposed to bedoing?
We're supposed to be absorbingsunshine, we're supposed to be
eating, finding our own food,and that was kind of enough.
(18:28):
You were surviving, okay.
But imagine if you lived in atribe where everything was
possible like that, you did haveenough food, and you had already
discovered fire or whatever, andyou could you were okay.
SPEAKER_01 (18:40):
And that what was that?
That was enough, yeah.
To see the sun come up with it.
SPEAKER_00 (18:45):
To see the sun to plant your little veggies or
whatever, eat them, to haveenough food for the day.
That was it.
There wasn't some grand plan ofyou having to become this
massive, successful person.
Afterwards, and we're not sayingambition isn't good.
(19:05):
Ambition is brilliant when thetime is for you to bloom, but
you have if you love yourselfunconditionally, you will see
how you will blossom, how thelife around you, other people
will see you and say, hey,they're confident, they won't
know it, but they kind of feelthat you love yourself and they
(19:28):
will treat you with respect thatyou deserve.
SPEAKER_01 (19:31):
Yeah, people do treat you differently, don't
they?
Absolutely.
You'll even notice that if youif you're on a if you're like if
you're looking for a partner, ifyou first if you learn to love
yourself, then you will attractum a partner to you that's more
uh a healthy partner, like aperson that's that's good for
(19:53):
you, and you won't be attractingmaybe people that are uh wanting
to make the most of you.
SPEAKER_00 (19:58):
Yeah, take advantage of you.
Because they see your weaknessesand they think, oh yeah,
absolutely.
It's always like that.
When you're ready to to findlove, is most of the time is
when you've sort of acceptedyourself and managed to find
love within yourself.
(20:19):
When you found yourself is whenyou find others, exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (20:25):
So we hope that you've enjoyed this episode, and
we hope that if you are notfeeling love for yourself and
this unconditional love withoutany strings or attachments, that
you'll uh think about what we'vebeen talking about today, and
that hopefully it will help youin some way, and that you'll
(20:45):
write to us and tell us.
And we're also online, we'rehere to help you.
If you'd like to book a therapysession, we we can see you
online and uh and sending lotsof love, and we're gonna be more
loving to ourselves because allof us have that inner quitting,
aren't we?
Yes, yes, we're going to beworking on ourselves too,
(21:07):
because I think in life it is ajourney, it's a journey of
self-discovery and working onyourself and and just just being
like a tree and enjoying thewind and the sun and the the
waves.
SPEAKER_00 (21:21):
Yeah, exactly.
The waves that come at us, thewaves that come at us, learning
to ride them gently and withlove.
SPEAKER_01 (21:29):
So thank you for listening once more.
Do come and say hi.
Say hi on Instagram, on YouTube,wherever you get your podcast,
Apple Podcasts 2.
Thank you so much.
Lots of love and smiles from theEnglish sisters.
Bye.
What do they say about unconditional love?
SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
It's the best kind of love, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01 (00:06):
It is without any ties, without any condition.
And yet, so many of us find itso hard to give ourselves
unconditional love.
SPEAKER_00 (00:18):
Because if you give yourself unconditional love and
you love yourselfunconditionally, it gives others
permission to do the same.
Isn't that odd?
They actually they realize thatyou love yourself even with your
flaws and all yourimperfections, and that allows
(00:42):
them to love you.
SPEAKER_01 (00:43):
Exactly.
And that's what we're going tobe chatting about in this week's
episode of Get Real with theEnglish Sisters Mind, Health and
Anxiety.
And thank you all so much forshowing up for us on YouTube
where we have the video versionand on at Get Real with the
(01:04):
English Sisters on Instagram tooand X.
You've been so wonderful gettingin touch and sending us your
comments.
SPEAKER_00 (01:14):
Yeah, it's been lovely reading them.
Thank you very much.
And it's really helpful.
It does, it kind of boosts ourmorale as well because we we
write to each other, hey, lookat this comment.
It gives us it gives usinspiration to continue going.
So it's great.
SPEAKER_01 (01:32):
Yeah, we feel that we're feeling the love.
We're feeling emotional love.
SPEAKER_00 (01:36):
Yes, coming our way.
Yay! Because um, yeah, that itit is it's it's a kind of love
that if you receive it whenyou're young, when you're a
baby, and when you're little, itit is a blessing to to receive
that kind of love.
(01:58):
And it can it can be very, veryhealing.
It is very, very healing.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
We know all of you, some of you may not have had
that as children.
We were lucky enough to feelunconditional love from our
parents, where that whatever wedid, um with our choices in
life, they always supported us,and we always felt, we always
felt that we were loved, youknow, we didn't have to like
(02:27):
justify to ourselves, oh we didthis, and they love us because
we were like good or because wewere clever.
Uh it was lovely to it's alovely thing to be able to
experience, but we know if youhave not been as lucky as we
have to have had that kind oflove, it is a journey of
self-love that you have to beginto discover exactly on your own.
SPEAKER_00 (02:52):
Yes, it's um it's learning to to laugh at
yourself, learning to look atyourself with that with a softer
eye.
Uh because it's like if you havea puppy, you wouldn't expect the
puppy not to make any messes orany mistakes, would you?
(03:15):
And yet you treat your if youtreat yourself with that kind of
love, you will you will not gowrong because that's the kind of
love most of us have, like withpets or with very small
creatures that we have.
Small creatures, who do we have?
Pets, obviously.
Sounds like we've got littlefairies in our house, little
(03:37):
magical creatures that we lookafter.
And you've got your turtles, isthat what you're referring to?
Well, it's just anything,really.
Yes.
I sort of think that if youlove, if you love them
unconditionally, and that's whya lot of people say actually
that's why they love their petsmore than other humans, because
they say, My pet will just loveme unconditionally.
(03:58):
They don't care what what I'vebeen up to during the day, if I
failed at this or I failed atthat, and I didn't get in here
and in use uni or didn't dothat, they'll come home and
they'll still love me.
And I think that's a kind oflove that we have to learn to
give ourselves.
We have to understand that weare the pet.
(04:23):
And if we look at ourselves likewe would look at our pets, or
you know, something gentle,something fragile, something
that needs to be nurtured, thenwe'll find that we'll nurture
ourselves more with that kind ofcare.
SPEAKER_01 (04:38):
Well, I think that's why pets are so healing, aren't
they?
Yes, that's why they arehealing.
Yeah.
It's a good thing if you'venever had a pet, if you can,
even if it's just a little smallfurry animal, to get something
that you can, you know, you canshare your love with.
SPEAKER_00 (04:56):
Yes, yes, definitely.
I mean, now my son, he's 25 now,and for the first time in his
life, he's actually got his ownlittle pet, a little kitten that
he he saved.
It was a rescue kitten that hefound in the garden, in
somebody's garden on a holiday.
And it was just completelyabandoned and so so tiny.
And he's had to look after itand give it the bottle and and
(05:18):
and feed it and look after it,and now it gets up to all sorts
of mischief.
And I can see him, ah, he says,Oh gosh, what a little rascal he
is.
He's all up to all sorts oftrouble getting the toilet
paper, goodness that he biteshis feet.
He's up to in the morning, hewakes him up, he says he nibbles
my ears, he does all kinds oflittle mischief things, but yet
(05:40):
the love that he has for thislittle kitten, and he says, It's
actually really amazing becauseit's my first.
I know at home we've had dogsand cats and all kinds of little
animals, but he said, for me,it's my first pet in my own
apartment, and I really feellove for it.
(06:01):
Yeah, I really feel this, itdoesn't really matter what that
pet does, what that littlekitten does.
He loves that kitten.
Boy, does he love it, you know?
Because he's nurtured it, he'staken care of it, and he he's
put time and energy into it.
So that's why I say if we lookafter ourselves the same way.
SPEAKER_01 (06:22):
Well, we have to put time and energy into ourselves,
and so many of us aren't willingto do that or don't know how to
do that because we've never doneit.
SPEAKER_00 (06:33):
We've never done it, we've never looked at ourselves
and looked inside and seen thatsmall, fragile child, which is
what we all have inside us.
We all have that child insideus, no matter how grown up we
are, there's a fragility withinus that still needs to be
(06:53):
nurtured and loved and loved somuch.
That's why the example of thepet is similar because we we do
have that in us.
SPEAKER_01 (07:07):
Yeah, I think um I think like like if you if you if
you want to to think about itfor a moment, if you think about
your inner child and think, waswas was my inner child loved um
by by the people that took careof me, by my parents or my
caregivers.
(07:27):
And if your inner child wasn'tloved, you can say, Well, I'm
here for you now because I'm anadult and I know about these
things, and I've learned how Ican give you my inner child
love, and you can give your yourinner child a hug, and you can
just stay there with her or himor they for a while and just
(07:52):
just love them and until alovely inner smile come out, and
they they will thank you, andthen that will carry with you
throughout your day and in thedays to come, and you'll feel
more love for yourself and moreforgiveness as well.
SPEAKER_00 (08:11):
Yes, absolutely.
Well while you were saying that,I was thinking of a little
photograph of me as a child, asa five-year-old, and um so I
could I could visualize that sothat can help as well if you
look through some old photos ofyou and you can sort of uh pick
one and just see that child andsee that child within yourself,
(08:34):
and uh you know, be you know,you can help that child.
Be kind, be kind, you can lovethat child, uh, and you can
nurture definitely, it's a goodthat's a good way, and to and to
know that with all our flaws, weare enough.
SPEAKER_01 (08:54):
We don't need to be perfect, we don't need to be
like the perfect parents or theperfect children or the perfect
employees or the perfect boss.
We just because that's whatmakes us so special, the fact
that we're not perfect, and thefact that we're learning all the
time and we're always evolvingand learning, and and that's
(09:18):
what make life so so wonderful,really.
SPEAKER_00 (09:23):
A tree isn't required to blossom every day.
A tree is just required to standstill and and and to live.
So it's not every day that wehave to do exceptional things,
it's the little things in everyday that count.
So sometimes it just means wejust stand still and look at
(09:45):
ourselves and look inside, andeven if we're not doing these
amazing things all the time,we're we're we're getting along
with our lives.
SPEAKER_01 (09:56):
And we're and we're showing ourselves kindness as
well as it's not.
It's that kindness, thateveryday kindness.
SPEAKER_00 (10:02):
The kindness is that even if we're not doing amazing
things, we're getting up in themorning, we're going along with
our day, we're standing there,we're living, we're being
present just like the tree is,and that's enough.
That's enough for many days.
Then there'll come a time whenwe're blossomed too, and we can
(10:24):
produce fruits and flowers andeverything else, but for the
moment we're part of a largerforest.
SPEAKER_01 (10:32):
And we've lovely, yeah, we're part of a larger
forest, and the more we nurturethat forest, the more we'll feel
good and loved ourselves, andwe'll be able to blossom one
day.
And and you know, if we justaccept the fact that every day
we make what about if we neverblossom, doesn't matter, we're
(10:54):
there, we're part of it.
SPEAKER_00 (10:56):
We're part of a larger forest where there's
we're contributing.
We're contributing, our presenceis still of great value, even
though we're just sitting thereeating.
SPEAKER_01 (11:10):
And because a lot of people might think that they've
never blossomed or that theywon't blossom.
SPEAKER_00 (11:15):
Yes, but they're still doing the little things
and they're they're part of alarger thing because even if
they're just there and they'remanaging to have their breakfast
in the morning or whatever itis, they're still contributing
to a larger, a larger plan, alarger forest, aren't they?
SPEAKER_01 (11:35):
They're very what you're the the tiny thing that
you do, you don't know what thatwill blossom into.
Your one action could blossominto someone or something you
say might give someone else athought that could have a
scientific breakthrough orsomething.
You don't know.
Exactly.
You don't know, you're not indoing anything here of what
(11:59):
you're doing, but a kind wordthat you may give out to
yourself or to someone else thatday might make someone have a
light bulb moment for all youknow.
We're all connected in everyway, aren't we?
SPEAKER_00 (12:12):
We are absolutely connected.
That's why I said, even ifyou're there sitting eating the
honey, you're there because theother day I was just thinking
I've done nothing today.
I'm just eating honey.
Then I actually looked at thelittle jar of honey and I
thought, well, I'm actuallyhelping the person that's making
this honey.
You know, so even me justsitting here eating honey has
(12:34):
helped somebody else who'sproducing the honey.
Exactly, and I am, I am doingsomething, and even if it's not
much for today, it's enough fortoday.
And I will love myself in thisbody, in my person, even though
I am not producing, and I'm not,I don't feel you are you are a
(12:55):
person that always feels thatyou have to be doing something.
Yeah, so if I have those sickdays or those days, I think, oh
god, I'm not doing anythingtoday, you know.
What on earth?
And then I thought, no, I'meating honey, I'm having my
toast, that's fine.
That's just good enough fortoday because sometimes it's
just the little things, and Iwill love myself completely
(13:18):
today for that, and with all myflaws and imperfections, my
illnesses that I may have.
And sometimes you have to lookat yourself and think that you
know you have to accept that.
SPEAKER_01 (13:32):
Yeah, I think it's hard for people that are real
go-getters or they're alwaysstriving for something to just
accept those days where they'renot doing anything.
That's why they criticizethemselves for they realise
they're standing still, likeeither.
Yeah, and they're not likeloving themselves for that
(13:53):
moment either, for just beingstill and and and knowing that
maybe that still day is whatthey need, and then tomorrow may
not be a still day.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (14:05):
Tomorrow may be the day when they're and it may not.
It may not, their roots may haveabsorbed enough nutrients for
them to go on, or maybe not,maybe they need some still some
more quiet time, and thatdoesn't matter.
It really doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_01 (14:23):
But what do you say to those people that feel as if
they can't love themselvesbecause they feel as if they're
like not happy with themselves?
SPEAKER_00 (14:32):
Because they haven't done enough, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:34):
Because they're not they haven't done enough or they
haven't lived up to what theirparents wanted them to be.
Um what do you say to that?
SPEAKER_00 (14:45):
How can you how can you, if you're in that
situation, how can you stilllove yourself for that when you
are doing because you are stilla tree if we're going back to
that metaphor, and you areworthy, and your existence is
important, and you're here for areason.
(15:06):
You are definitely here for areason.
You can believe in a spiritualreason or just a reason for
because you're connected witheverything else in this world,
you're part of the universe.
I say to those people, lookinside, go inside, imagine that
photograph of you as a littleperson, and go inside and see
(15:29):
yourself as that child and andgive yourself one of the biggest
hugs possible.
You can imagine yourself grownup and going towards yourself,
and and actually, you can eitherpick yourself up literally and
hug yourself wonderfully andwarmly, and give yourself a
really long embrace, a real onewhere you can feel the small
(15:54):
heart and your larger heart nowconnecting and melding into as
one, and truly appreciateeverything that has gone on in
your life, and you'll see thatyou have done much with your
life, but you may not have doneanything, but you have done
because your heart is beating,and you are you are part of the
(16:17):
universe.
You have done whether youbelieve you you have not done
much for your as you as youbelieve, then you can seek what
is it that I want to be doing?
What is it?
Maybe you have loved somebodyelse, maybe you love somebody
and you don't realize how muchthat love is important to that
(16:40):
person, or for your pet.
Maybe you're taking care of youryour your dog or your cat, and
that has an importance.
It does.
SPEAKER_01 (16:49):
So what are you saying that you have done and
because sometimes I think peoplethey come to they come to re the
realization that they f theyfeel as if they're you know,
because maybe because they'reslightly depressed, they feel as
if they're like not worthy, thatthey haven't done enough.
I mean we see this with ourclients.
Yes, and the thing is that thissociety is always it's always
(17:14):
like making us strive for more.
Yes.
It's like we without evenrealizing we're always being
brainwashed into striving formore, wanting more, being more,
being more successful, wantingmore things, having more money,
having more financial uhsecurity, for instance.
When I think all these thingswill come more naturally to you
(17:37):
if you just allow yourself justto be and say, Well, it's okay,
today is a it's a tree day, andI'm yeah, yeah, you know, I'm
just here and I'm just chillingout, and it's fine.
Um, as long as I love myself,because I think when you begin
to truly love yourself andappreciate yourself, that's when
all the magic kind of unfoldsbecause you realize that because
(17:59):
you all of the need is love, andyou are, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (18:04):
You you are the song, yeah.
You are the yeah, it's goingback to ancient times.
Yes, it's back to the ancienttimes.
We're mammals, we're like thoselittle pets.
What were we supposed to bedoing?
We're supposed to be absorbingsunshine, we're supposed to be
eating, finding our own food,and that was kind of enough.
(18:28):
You were surviving, okay.
But imagine if you lived in atribe where everything was
possible like that, you did haveenough food, and you had already
discovered fire or whatever, andyou could you were okay.
SPEAKER_01 (18:40):
And that what was that?
That was enough, yeah.
To see the sun come up with it.
SPEAKER_00 (18:45):
To see the sun to plant your little veggies or
whatever, eat them, to haveenough food for the day.
That was it.
There wasn't some grand plan ofyou having to become this
massive, successful person.
Afterwards, and we're not sayingambition isn't good.
(19:05):
Ambition is brilliant when thetime is for you to bloom, but
you have if you love yourselfunconditionally, you will see
how you will blossom, how thelife around you, other people
will see you and say, hey,they're confident, they won't
know it, but they kind of feelthat you love yourself and they
(19:28):
will treat you with respect thatyou deserve.
SPEAKER_01 (19:31):
Yeah, people do treat you differently, don't
they?
Absolutely.
You'll even notice that if youif you're on a if you're like if
you're looking for a partner, ifyou first if you learn to love
yourself, then you will attractum a partner to you that's more
uh a healthy partner, like aperson that's that's good for
(19:53):
you, and you won't be attractingmaybe people that are uh wanting
to make the most of you.
SPEAKER_00 (19:58):
Yeah, take advantage of you.
Because they see your weaknessesand they think, oh yeah,
absolutely.
It's always like that.
When you're ready to to findlove, is most of the time is
when you've sort of acceptedyourself and managed to find
love within yourself.
(20:19):
When you found yourself is whenyou find others, exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (20:25):
So we hope that you've enjoyed this episode, and
we hope that if you are notfeeling love for yourself and
this unconditional love withoutany strings or attachments, that
you'll uh think about what we'vebeen talking about today, and
that hopefully it will help youin some way, and that you'll
(20:45):
write to us and tell us.
And we're also online, we'rehere to help you.
If you'd like to book a therapysession, we we can see you
online and uh and sending lotsof love, and we're gonna be more
loving to ourselves because allof us have that inner quitting,
aren't we?
Yes, yes, we're going to beworking on ourselves too,
(21:07):
because I think in life it is ajourney, it's a journey of
self-discovery and working onyourself and and just just being
like a tree and enjoying thewind and the sun and the the
waves.
SPEAKER_00 (21:21):
Yeah, exactly.
The waves that come at us, thewaves that come at us, learning
to ride them gently and withlove.
SPEAKER_01 (21:29):
So thank you for listening once more.
Do come and say hi.
Say hi on Instagram, on YouTube,wherever you get your podcast,
Apple Podcasts 2.
Thank you so much.
Lots of love and smiles from theEnglish sisters.
Bye.
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