July 31, 2025 • 13 mins
You’ve been invited to dinner… and your stomach drops.
Not because you don’t want to go—but because you know you’ll be the only one there who’s gluten free.
Will there be anything safe to eat? Will the host understand cross-contamination? Will people think you’re being picky or rude?
In today’s episode, we’re tackling the stress of being the only gluten-free person at the table—and how to handle it with confidence, safety, and grace.
Save money, and no more guessing for dinner! Use code GFE to get 20% off annual membership at thedinnerdaily.com. Plan meals for less than $4/month and save money at the grocery store!
Come join us in our free Facebook Community, The Gluten Free Engineer.
It’s a space where you can connect with others living gluten-free, ask questions, swap tips and recipes, and get support from people who truly get it. Whether you’re newly diagnosed or a seasoned gluten-free pro, you’ll feel right at home.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Carrie Saunders (00:00):
Quick reminder before we get started on this
episode this podcast is based onmy personal experiences and
isn't medical advice.
You've been invited to dinnerand your stomach drops, not
because you don't want to go,but because you know you'll be
the only one there who'sgluten-free.
Will there be anything to eat?
Will the host understandcross-contamination?
Will people think you're beingpicky or rude?
(00:22):
In today's episode, we'retackling the stress of being the
only gluten-free person at thetable and how to handle it with
confidence, safety and grace.
So let's dive in.
Welcome to the Gluten-FreeEngineer Podcast.
I'm your host, Saunders.
In 2011, I was diagnosed withceliac disease, a moment that
changed everything, but I wasdetermined not to let it hold me
(00:44):
back.
With my two engineering degrees, I set out to reverse engineer
the gluten-free lifestyle,breaking down recipes, safety
tips, travel hacks andeverything in between to rebuild
a life I love.
Whether you have celiac disease, gluten intolerance or simply
choose to live gluten-free, thispodcast is for you.
Join me each week as wesimplify the gluten-free
(01:05):
lifestyle, make it fun and provethat you don't have to miss out
on anything.
Welcome back to the show.
Today we're talking about whatto do when you're the only
gluten-free person at the table.
And first let's start off withour first tip, and that is
mindset.
You need to have the mindsetthat you're not a burden.
You're managing a medical needand you're not being picky.
(01:27):
You're managing your health andhow you feel, and it's okay to
prioritize your health.
Think of it no differently thansomebody with a food allergy.
It's still both health issues.
Now, yes, it's a differentreaction in our body.
I do want to recognize that,but it's still a health problem
for both of you, for both typesof people.
(01:47):
So make sure in your mindsetyou feel like you're not a
burden and that will help themalso perceive you not to be a
burden so you can reframe thesituation.
You're making it easier forothers by coming prepared.
You are helping them not feelthe burden themselves, feeling
(02:08):
you know helpless and doesn'tknow what to do.
You're actually helping themwhen you help them be prepared.
So that leads us into pointnumber two.
We want to communicate early andclearly with the host.
I would recommend calling ortexting them ahead of time or
speaking with them in person.
Ask what's being served andoffer to bring something safe if
(02:30):
you need to.
You can also explaincross-contamination in a
friendly, non-intimidating way,especially if they want to have
some gluten-free dishes for youto have yourself from them or
from others that bring itemsthere.
So you can explain that even acrumb from a regular bread can
make me sick, so I just have tobe super careful.
(02:52):
Sometimes people get reallysurprised by that and I tried to
explain it in the fact that youknow the more our bodies heal,
the more we can feel the impactof a smaller piece of gluten.
It's just our bodies aren'tused to it anymore and it reacts
a bit more severely.
It is simple.
You know you wouldn't feedsomebody who has an allergy
(03:13):
allergy a little piece ofsomething either.
Even though it's a differentbodily reaction one's autoimmune
and one is a true allergy weare still affected by a small
amount amount and we need to beextra careful and many times
when I explain this it comesover pretty well and I try to
equate it to you know peanutallergy or a meat allergy or
(03:35):
something like that and explainyou know it's not the same as
that quite, but it's still.
I can get affected in the samemanner as somebody with an
allergy and usually that helpsthem get it, because many people
are have been exposed tosomebody who has an allergy a
food allergy and so celiac or agluten intolerance can be a
(03:56):
little bit of a differentmindset for them, because they
don't quite understand that.
It's kind of similar as far asthe procedures go in helping
keeping you safe.
And then another thing I love todo is bring a dish that you can
eat and that others will lovetoo.
One of my most favorite dishesto bring is that chicken
casserole recipe that we have onour website that people
absolutely love and rave aboutit.
(04:17):
So make sure you check that outafter listening to this podcast
at theglutenfreeengineercom, soyou can share a delicious
gluten-free side, main ordessert.
I obviously recommend a maindish just because you can then
have your whole meal with thatone dish if you need to.
So let's say, you don't feellike you're comfortable eating
(04:39):
anything else there.
If you use something like mychicken casserole, which has not
only protein but it has carbsand it has veggies in it, you
have a complete meal there.
So it's great to bringsomething that's a complete meal
like that.
You can mention your dish inadvance so the host can factor
it in, and I also recommend that, especially if you're celiac.
(05:01):
You ask if you can go throughthe line first, not to be
prioritized or anything likethat, but it's prioritizing your
health.
That way you don't have a riskof cross-contamination on those
dishes that are actually safeand you can get the items safely
first.
We've done this at church,we've done this in pot safely
first.
We've done this at church,we've done this in potlucks,
we've done this at people'shouses.
It's just something that wehave gotten used to doing, and
(05:24):
the more you do this, the moreother people be used to it, and
when you go back to explain thatcross-contamination a bit again
, they will start to get it.
And when you bring something, adish, that you you can eat, you
get something that you actuallywant and that you feel
comfortable with and that you'renot stressed about.
So that's one of the keys tobringing something that you can
(05:45):
actually eat too.
It can really calm your nerves,especially if you're celiac or
highly sensitive to gluten, andthen sometimes you might want to
bring a backup option just incase.
You can bring a small discreetcontainer of safe food, just in
case.
I've done this before when I'vegone someplace and I thought I
could eat, but I ended upfinding out after talking
(06:07):
because I didn't get a chance totalk ahead that I couldn't eat
there.
And another thing I do, too isI even eat before I go, if I'm
unsure.
There's many times we've beento family events where me and my
whole family have eaten beforewe left the house, knowing that
it wasn't going to be safe toeat there.
So there's nothing wrong withthat, and you can maybe bring
like a small stack, somethinglike that, in your bag or your
(06:31):
car for emergencies or if youget extra hungry.
That's some things that we'vedone before, and it can feel a
little bit more awkward justbecause you're not eating with
everybody else.
But, depending on the situation, if it's like in a house and
everybody's spread out, not atjust one dinner table, then it's
really not quite so awkward.
And then when you are going outto eat with some people, whether
(06:54):
it's at another home or in arestaurant, you want to watch
the buffet or shared utensils,and that's one of the reasons
why, in one of my earlier points, is that you know asking you to
go first is very important.
Be politely, serve yourselffirst If you're unsure.
It's just something simple thatyou have to do, and don't be
(07:15):
afraid to skip dishes that feelrisky.
I've had to do this before wheneating at a restaurant buffet
and even though I talked to theserver and they told me you know
what's safe and what's not,there was one time I was like,
oh, I don't know if I should eatthese potatoes.
And then the next time we cameto that same restaurant they
told me that they were not safe.
So I actually kind of had a gutfeeling they weren't safe, even
(07:36):
though.
And then what do we do if weget common questions or comments
when we're at a dinner party orout to eat with somebody?
Many times I will get.
Is it really that bad if you eatgluten and you can just share a
simple version of your storyand I tell them you know, it's
(07:59):
not just the digestive issuesfor me, it gives me migraines,
it makes me feel like I have theflu and I just feel terrible
for several days.
So don't be afraid to explainthe other symptoms that many
people don't know about.
Most people think aboutdigestive issues and GI tract
issues, but you might actuallyreally get their attention if
(08:19):
you talk about the otherproblems.
You get the skin issues, themigraines, like we said.
So you know, be prepared foryou know kindly talking about
the other things that actuallycan happen and that usually gets
their attention.
I have found and sometimes I getthe comment I can never do that
.
I can never go gluten free.
And I tell people you'd besurprised what you can do when
(08:43):
it makes you feel better.
I said I don't even look atgluten and want it anymore.
I said it makes me feel soterrible I just don't even
consider it.
It's just not even an option onthe table.
And when you're a force to dosomething, you can be really
surprised at what you can do.
You know you're forced to do itfor your health, so it makes it
(09:06):
a lot easier.
So usually I explain it aroundthat and then I like to keep it
light when I can.
But if you need to stand firmwhen it matters, you have to try
to find that balance that workswith your personality too, and
also be prepared emotionally.
Whenever you go out you mightfeel left out or frustrated and
give yourself some grace.
Especially if you're new togluten free, this might, you
(09:28):
know, be a lot harder.
This part, the emotional partof it and I know it honestly was
for me for a very long time,probably longer than I would
have liked looking back.
So just be prepared emotionallythat you might feel left out or
frustrated and just rememberwhy you are doing this.
This is your health, yourenergy, your long-term wellness,
(09:48):
your next couple of days.
If you're somebody like me, youknow I don't want to ruin my
next couple of days and risksomething.
It's just not worth that fewbites of something that might
make me sick.
And if you can have a supportperson with you, if you can, or
somebody you can text or checkin with, if you are, have a
support person with you if youcan, or somebody you can text or
check in with if you arefeeling a bit anxious, it's
(10:11):
always great to have somebodythere by your side, whether it's
another friend or family memberor somebody you can reach out
to via text whenever you arefeeling a bit more emotional,
when you're out to eat, likethat.
And then, finally, I want youto celebrate the wins.
Focus on the connection, notjust the food.
You are there for theconnection.
(10:32):
Food is just part of the meansof it and we want to make sure
that we are being present.
We are, you know, getting toknow the people even better and
we're really connecting withthem, and I want you to notice
when things go well, even ifit's just that your dish was a
hit or you didn't get sick.
I want you to notice thosethings.
(10:52):
Always focus on the positiveand you'll have a more positive
experience.
It will really help you feelbetter and help you do a lot
better mentally and emotionallyaround having to be gluten-free.
You don't have to choose betweenbeing polite and being safe
when you're gluten-free.
With a little preparation and alot of health kindness, you can
(11:12):
navigate dinners, parties andfamily events confidently.
It does take practice, though,so give yourself grace.
Follow some of these tips thatwe've given you in today's
podcast episode and even ifyou're the only gluten-free
person at the table, you canstill have fun and you can still
enjoy yourself.
Thank you for listening to thisepisode of the Gluten-Free
(11:34):
Engineer.
If you found value in this story, please share it with someone
who might need encouragement ontheir own gluten-free journey.
For more tips, recipes,resources and even links to my
YouTube channel, head on over totheglutenfreeengineercom.
It's your one-stop hub to makegluten-free living simple, fun
and full of flavor.
(11:55):
And don't forget to subscribeso you never miss out on an
episode and we will see you nextweek.
The Gluten-Free Engineerpodcast is for informational and
entertainment purposes only.
I share my personal experiencesand stories about living with
celiac disease and navigating agluten-free lifestyle.
This podcast does not providemedical advice.
(12:15):
Always consult with a qualifiedhealthcare professional for
medical questions, concerns oradvice specific to your health.
Quick reminder before we get started on this
episode this podcast is based onmy personal experiences and
isn't medical advice.
You've been invited to dinnerand your stomach drops, not
because you don't want to go,but because you know you'll be
the only one there who'sgluten-free.
Will there be anything to eat?
Will the host understandcross-contamination?
Will people think you're beingpicky or rude?
(00:22):
In today's episode, we'retackling the stress of being the
only gluten-free person at thetable and how to handle it with
confidence, safety and grace.
So let's dive in.
Welcome to the Gluten-FreeEngineer Podcast.
I'm your host, Saunders.
In 2011, I was diagnosed withceliac disease, a moment that
changed everything, but I wasdetermined not to let it hold me
(00:44):
back.
With my two engineering degrees, I set out to reverse engineer
the gluten-free lifestyle,breaking down recipes, safety
tips, travel hacks andeverything in between to rebuild
a life I love.
Whether you have celiac disease, gluten intolerance or simply
choose to live gluten-free, thispodcast is for you.
Join me each week as wesimplify the gluten-free
(01:05):
lifestyle, make it fun and provethat you don't have to miss out
on anything.
Welcome back to the show.
Today we're talking about whatto do when you're the only
gluten-free person at the table.
And first let's start off withour first tip, and that is
mindset.
You need to have the mindsetthat you're not a burden.
You're managing a medical needand you're not being picky.
(01:27):
You're managing your health andhow you feel, and it's okay to
prioritize your health.
Think of it no differently thansomebody with a food allergy.
It's still both health issues.
Now, yes, it's a differentreaction in our body.
I do want to recognize that,but it's still a health problem
for both of you, for both typesof people.
(01:47):
So make sure in your mindsetyou feel like you're not a
burden and that will help themalso perceive you not to be a
burden so you can reframe thesituation.
You're making it easier forothers by coming prepared.
You are helping them not feelthe burden themselves, feeling
(02:08):
you know helpless and doesn'tknow what to do.
You're actually helping themwhen you help them be prepared.
So that leads us into pointnumber two.
We want to communicate early andclearly with the host.
I would recommend calling ortexting them ahead of time or
speaking with them in person.
Ask what's being served andoffer to bring something safe if
(02:30):
you need to.
You can also explaincross-contamination in a
friendly, non-intimidating way,especially if they want to have
some gluten-free dishes for youto have yourself from them or
from others that bring itemsthere.
So you can explain that even acrumb from a regular bread can
make me sick, so I just have tobe super careful.
(02:52):
Sometimes people get reallysurprised by that and I tried to
explain it in the fact that youknow the more our bodies heal,
the more we can feel the impactof a smaller piece of gluten.
It's just our bodies aren'tused to it anymore and it reacts
a bit more severely.
It is simple.
You know you wouldn't feedsomebody who has an allergy
(03:13):
allergy a little piece ofsomething either.
Even though it's a differentbodily reaction one's autoimmune
and one is a true allergy weare still affected by a small
amount amount and we need to beextra careful and many times
when I explain this it comesover pretty well and I try to
equate it to you know peanutallergy or a meat allergy or
(03:35):
something like that and explainyou know it's not the same as
that quite, but it's still.
I can get affected in the samemanner as somebody with an
allergy and usually that helpsthem get it, because many people
are have been exposed tosomebody who has an allergy a
food allergy and so celiac or agluten intolerance can be a
(03:56):
little bit of a differentmindset for them, because they
don't quite understand that.
It's kind of similar as far asthe procedures go in helping
keeping you safe.
And then another thing I love todo is bring a dish that you can
eat and that others will lovetoo.
One of my most favorite dishesto bring is that chicken
casserole recipe that we have onour website that people
absolutely love and rave aboutit.
(04:17):
So make sure you check that outafter listening to this podcast
at theglutenfreeengineercom, soyou can share a delicious
gluten-free side, main ordessert.
I obviously recommend a maindish just because you can then
have your whole meal with thatone dish if you need to.
So let's say, you don't feellike you're comfortable eating
(04:39):
anything else there.
If you use something like mychicken casserole, which has not
only protein but it has carbsand it has veggies in it, you
have a complete meal there.
So it's great to bringsomething that's a complete meal
like that.
You can mention your dish inadvance so the host can factor
it in, and I also recommend that, especially if you're celiac.
(05:01):
You ask if you can go throughthe line first, not to be
prioritized or anything likethat, but it's prioritizing your
health.
That way you don't have a riskof cross-contamination on those
dishes that are actually safeand you can get the items safely
first.
We've done this at church,we've done this in pot safely
first.
We've done this at church,we've done this in potlucks,
we've done this at people'shouses.
It's just something that wehave gotten used to doing, and
(05:24):
the more you do this, the moreother people be used to it, and
when you go back to explain thatcross-contamination a bit again
, they will start to get it.
And when you bring something, adish, that you you can eat, you
get something that you actuallywant and that you feel
comfortable with and that you'renot stressed about.
So that's one of the keys tobringing something that you can
(05:45):
actually eat too.
It can really calm your nerves,especially if you're celiac or
highly sensitive to gluten, andthen sometimes you might want to
bring a backup option just incase.
You can bring a small discreetcontainer of safe food, just in
case.
I've done this before when I'vegone someplace and I thought I
could eat, but I ended upfinding out after talking
(06:07):
because I didn't get a chance totalk ahead that I couldn't eat
there.
And another thing I do, too isI even eat before I go, if I'm
unsure.
There's many times we've beento family events where me and my
whole family have eaten beforewe left the house, knowing that
it wasn't going to be safe toeat there.
So there's nothing wrong withthat, and you can maybe bring
like a small stack, somethinglike that, in your bag or your
(06:31):
car for emergencies or if youget extra hungry.
That's some things that we'vedone before, and it can feel a
little bit more awkward justbecause you're not eating with
everybody else.
But, depending on the situation, if it's like in a house and
everybody's spread out, not atjust one dinner table, then it's
really not quite so awkward.
And then when you are going outto eat with some people, whether
(06:54):
it's at another home or in arestaurant, you want to watch
the buffet or shared utensils,and that's one of the reasons
why, in one of my earlier points, is that you know asking you to
go first is very important.
Be politely, serve yourselffirst If you're unsure.
It's just something simple thatyou have to do, and don't be
(07:15):
afraid to skip dishes that feelrisky.
I've had to do this before wheneating at a restaurant buffet
and even though I talked to theserver and they told me you know
what's safe and what's not,there was one time I was like,
oh, I don't know if I should eatthese potatoes.
And then the next time we cameto that same restaurant they
told me that they were not safe.
So I actually kind of had a gutfeeling they weren't safe, even
(07:36):
though.
And then what do we do if weget common questions or comments
when we're at a dinner party orout to eat with somebody?
Many times I will get.
Is it really that bad if you eatgluten and you can just share a
simple version of your storyand I tell them you know, it's
(07:59):
not just the digestive issuesfor me, it gives me migraines,
it makes me feel like I have theflu and I just feel terrible
for several days.
So don't be afraid to explainthe other symptoms that many
people don't know about.
Most people think aboutdigestive issues and GI tract
issues, but you might actuallyreally get their attention if
(08:19):
you talk about the otherproblems.
You get the skin issues, themigraines, like we said.
So you know, be prepared foryou know kindly talking about
the other things that actuallycan happen and that usually gets
their attention.
I have found and sometimes I getthe comment I can never do that
.
I can never go gluten free.
And I tell people you'd besurprised what you can do when
(08:43):
it makes you feel better.
I said I don't even look atgluten and want it anymore.
I said it makes me feel soterrible I just don't even
consider it.
It's just not even an option onthe table.
And when you're a force to dosomething, you can be really
surprised at what you can do.
You know you're forced to do itfor your health, so it makes it
(09:06):
a lot easier.
So usually I explain it aroundthat and then I like to keep it
light when I can.
But if you need to stand firmwhen it matters, you have to try
to find that balance that workswith your personality too, and
also be prepared emotionally.
Whenever you go out you mightfeel left out or frustrated and
give yourself some grace.
Especially if you're new togluten free, this might, you
(09:28):
know, be a lot harder.
This part, the emotional partof it and I know it honestly was
for me for a very long time,probably longer than I would
have liked looking back.
So just be prepared emotionallythat you might feel left out or
frustrated and just rememberwhy you are doing this.
This is your health, yourenergy, your long-term wellness,
(09:48):
your next couple of days.
If you're somebody like me, youknow I don't want to ruin my
next couple of days and risksomething.
It's just not worth that fewbites of something that might
make me sick.
And if you can have a supportperson with you, if you can, or
somebody you can text or checkin with, if you are, have a
support person with you if youcan, or somebody you can text or
check in with if you arefeeling a bit anxious, it's
(10:11):
always great to have somebodythere by your side, whether it's
another friend or family memberor somebody you can reach out
to via text whenever you arefeeling a bit more emotional,
when you're out to eat, likethat.
And then, finally, I want youto celebrate the wins.
Focus on the connection, notjust the food.
You are there for theconnection.
(10:32):
Food is just part of the meansof it and we want to make sure
that we are being present.
We are, you know, getting toknow the people even better and
we're really connecting withthem, and I want you to notice
when things go well, even ifit's just that your dish was a
hit or you didn't get sick.
I want you to notice thosethings.
(10:52):
Always focus on the positiveand you'll have a more positive
experience.
It will really help you feelbetter and help you do a lot
better mentally and emotionallyaround having to be gluten-free.
You don't have to choose betweenbeing polite and being safe
when you're gluten-free.
With a little preparation and alot of health kindness, you can
(11:12):
navigate dinners, parties andfamily events confidently.
It does take practice, though,so give yourself grace.
Follow some of these tips thatwe've given you in today's
podcast episode and even ifyou're the only gluten-free
person at the table, you canstill have fun and you can still
enjoy yourself.
Thank you for listening to thisepisode of the Gluten-Free
(11:34):
Engineer.
If you found value in this story, please share it with someone
who might need encouragement ontheir own gluten-free journey.
For more tips, recipes,resources and even links to my
YouTube channel, head on over totheglutenfreeengineercom.
It's your one-stop hub to makegluten-free living simple, fun
and full of flavor.
(11:55):
And don't forget to subscribeso you never miss out on an
episode and we will see you nextweek.
The Gluten-Free Engineerpodcast is for informational and
entertainment purposes only.
I share my personal experiencesand stories about living with
celiac disease and navigating agluten-free lifestyle.
This podcast does not providemedical advice.
(12:15):
Always consult with a qualifiedhealthcare professional for
medical questions, concerns oradvice specific to your health.
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