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May 17, 2024 • 7 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Chapter four R why are relationships important to
my health?
How did life change for youduring COVID?
At a minimum, you probablylearned how to use Zoom or
another online video platform Inthe blink of an eye.
We were all taken away from ourfriends, classmates, teammates,

(00:20):
churches and more.
As hard as everyone tried,online education was a bust and
seeing friends over FaceTimewasn't the same as real life.
About two weeks after thelockdown began, my college
girlfriends and I officiallycanceled our annual trip.
We are spread throughout thecountry and try hard to see each

(00:42):
other in person once a year.
I know there were much moreserious issues our country was
dealing with at that time, but Icouldn't stop crying the day we
canceled.
My friends, both near and far,mean the world to me and a Zoom
meetup just wasn't the same.
Relationships matter.

(01:04):
If you're wondering how thisconversation fits into a
health-focused book, hang withme.
Let's talk about two areas ofrelationships that are critical
to healthy mindsets andlifestyles.
One relationship with God.
I will be the first to tell youthat, even as I write about all
things health, I am not perfectat all things health.

(01:26):
Sometimes I don't fully payattention to what I'm eating and
find myself over full.
I don't always get a workout inand from time to time I still
struggle with what I see in themirror.
But even on those days Istruggle, I can still lean into
my relationship with God.
By the way, this goes for daysyou might struggle with God.

(01:47):
In general, he's not afraid ofyour doubts and dark thoughts,
so try telling him about thosefeelings.
If I don't have God guiding mysteps each day, I have no idea
where I'm going.
This is the verticalrelationship that's critical to
me.
It's not a list of do's anddon'ts and earning my way to

(02:07):
eternal life.
Rather, it's knowing that Goddelights in me and has a plan
and purpose for me, even if Idon't know what that is.
There's no recipe or formula togrowing this relationship.
Reading his word in the Bibleis helpful.
So is just talking to God likeyou would talk to your best
friend.
Making time and space to dothis helps you hear him.

(02:31):
It's hard to hear God'swhispers when everything around
us is so noisy, not sure whereto begin in the Bible.
Start with the book of John.
It's a great account of Jesus'slife and lets you see him in
action as the loving person hewas.
Staying close to God helps youkeep perspective about your

(02:52):
health.
When I approach my healththrough the lens of my core
strength and my relationshipwith the one who created me,
rather than the latest Instagramad, I'm more focused, centered
and peaceful and I can betterfocus on all the other aspects
of my core strength.
Two relationships with others.
Why was I so so weepy when myfriends and I canceled our trip

(03:18):
because of COVID?
In hindsight I can see howlonely I was.
I couldn't see any of myfriends in person.
I missed hugs and laughter andconfiding and trusted friends.
But I wasn't alone.
And even if you felt lonelypandemic or no pandemic you're
not alone.

(03:38):
Some reports state that Gen Z isthe loneliest age group and
that 65% of Gen Z or Zoomers,sometimes, or always, feel
lonely.
What does this have to do withour health?
Loneliness is a one-two punch,attacking both your mental and
physical health.
In fact, being lonely can havesimilar effects to being an

(04:02):
alcoholic or smoking 15cigarettes per day Yikes.
But here's the problem Goodfriends can be hard to find.
Sure, you may have your ride ordies that have been with you
since you were all in diapers,but those can be few and far
between Middle school seems toshake up friendships, then rinse

(04:24):
and repeat when you begin highschool and after you graduate.
A friend of mine once saidanyone who has been through
middle school has experiencedlow-grade trauma.
I'm raising my hand over hereremembering the time I found a
wad of spit in my hair, and Ithink you may be raising your
hand as well for your ownreasons.

(04:45):
I really hope you never foundspit in your hair.
That was so gross andembarrassing.
Relationships with others arethe horizontal relationships we
reach out to, rather than thevertical relationships we have
with God, whom we look up to.
How can we create trustedhorizontal relationships?

(05:07):
Here are a few ideas to get yougoing.
Friends need to earn eachother's trust.
Start with small things.
Oh my gosh.
I snorted while laughing aboutgenes with a G versus genes with
a J in biology today.
Before moving on to the bigthings, I'm really struggling

(05:28):
and feel depressed.
Find activities where you'redoing something side by side.
Personally, I love walks withfriends because it can feel
awkward to look someone in theeye for an entire conversation.
I call these walk-in talks.
Some of my closest in-personfriendships have developed on
the sidewalks of my neighborhood.

(05:50):
Reach out to a teammate youenjoy practicing with and see if
they want to work on drills, orto a fellow theater friend to
run lines.
The one-on-one or small grouptime is a good way to get to
know each other better.
Faith-based small groups can bea great place to connect and
cut through the superficialstuff.
Ask your youth group leader ifthey have any groups you can

(06:12):
join or, better yet, start yourown with a Bible study and a
leader guide.
If you're not plugged into achurch, explore apps like the
YouVersion Bible or Minted Truth.
You can even grab thediscussion guide to this book
link is in the resource guideand go through it with a few
friends.
There is a time and place foronline friendships, but let

(06:33):
those supplement your in-personfriendships rather than replace
them.
If you have good, trustedfriends who have moved, though,
keep in touch.
Some of my closest friends arethose I made in college.
We live all over the country,but connect via walk and talks
and texts.
This is a good time toacknowledge that not all

(06:54):
friendships and relationshipsare unicorns and rainbows.
Again, middle school trauma isreal.
It takes time for anyone todevelop deep, meaningful
relationships.
What do we get when weintersect our vertical
relationship with with ourhorizontal relationship with

(07:16):
others.
Yes, my friend, we get thecross.
Developing both types ofrelationships gives us the
fullness God has for us.
Investing in healthyrelationships with God and
others is an important part ofour physical, emotional and
mental health.
Unfortunately, sometimes ourrelationships with others can

(07:39):
get tricky, which is why we'llbe discussing boundaries next.
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