December 28, 2022 • 13 mins
As 2022 comes to a close, Carol recaps this year’s Ground Control Parenting podcast journey. She looks back on standout topics covered this past season and highlights some of this year’s most interesting and resource-filled conversations. Happy New Year from Ground Control Parenting!
Follow us at @GroundControlParenting and on www.groundcontrolparenting.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Follow us at @GroundControlParenting and on www.groundcontrolparenting.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hello, and welcome to Ground Control Parenting, a blog and
now a podcast created for parents raising black and brown children.
I'm the creator and your host, Carol Sutton Lewis. In
this podcast series, I talked with some really interesting people
about the job and the joy of parenting. Here we
are in the final days of two and this is
the g CP Recap. I look back over some of
(00:28):
the great conversations and topics from this year's episodes. I
am so glad you've joined us. For those of you
who are new to the podcast, I'm going to start
this recap with a bit of my own backstory. I've
raised three children along with my husband. I have to
give him credit. Our children's ages range from twenty three
to thirty, so I've had a lot of experience parenting
through toddlerhood, schooling, teenage years, college days, and young adulthood.
(00:52):
I'm a lawyer, but I've spent much of my kids
lives focusing on parenting and education through research, writing, teaching,
board service for educational institutions that serve kids from kindergarten
through high school and beyond. Years of parenting groups, and
lots of heart to hearts with fellow parents. I've shared
parenting resources through my Ground Control Parenting blog, taught parenting courses,
(01:14):
and conducted parenting seminars in front of groups large and small.
I really enjoy talking with people about parenting philosophies and
sharing what I've learned. I believe that parenting is a
skill set that can be improved upon at any age
or stage, and that sharing tips and advice about the
skill sets of parenting is key to improving them. I
also find that these parenting conversations hold valuable lessons even
(01:37):
for those whose child raising days are long in the
rear view mirror and for those who never had children.
After all, the impact of how we were parented is everlasting.
So I launched the first season of this podcast in June,
in the early months of the pandemic. In July of
this year, I launched the fourth season of Ground Control Parenting,
and this year we've joined the Seneca Women podcast and
(01:59):
I Heart Network. In case you're wondering why Ground Controlled Parenting, Well,
we're not trying to be helicopter parents hovering from above,
but we do need to be on the tarmac that
ground control crew, making sure our children have what they
need for takeoff. This season is focused on wellness and
this year we've talked about this topic with many guests.
(02:20):
Dr Sharon Malone, gynecologist and menopause expert, gave us tips
on how to make sure we all get the information
and advice we need during our regular doctors visits and
gave those of us facing menopause lots of great management advice. Filmmaker,
writer and producer Tonya Lewis Lee, who was my guest
on my very first podcast episode in came back to
(02:44):
talk about wellness, childbirth, and maternal health for Black women.
We talked about the importance of women taking control of
their childbirthing decisions, and Tana explained how we need to
prioritize Black maternal health. We talked about stress in a
lot of episod so this year, since preserving mental wellness
has been one of the most important topics of Recently,
(03:06):
I got some tips on how to manage the stress
of the holiday season from our resident pediatric stress expert
Stanford Universities, Dr Victor carry On. He also offered some
practical information about therapy, what it is, what it does,
and now I can help parents and children feel better.
Former Atlanta Mayor Kesha Lance Bottoms, my first guest of
(03:27):
this season, talked about how she had to focus on
her mental wellness when determining whether to run for a
second term. You've talked about your decision not to run
for reelection as a decision to step back and protect
your peace. And I have to tell you when I
read that, I just stopped because to protect your piece.
That's such a wonderful way to describe that need, and
(03:50):
all of us can so identify with that. And you've
also talked about how as women we don't often stop
to adjust the s on our chest. I mean, we
just keep going. And again, it resonates so strongly with
with me, with parents, particularly with Black women parents. Can
you talk a little bit about how you've come to
find how important it is to protect our peace as
(04:11):
as black women and mothers, and and how tough it
is for us to do that. Oh gosh, it's so hard.
There are so many expectations that are placed upon us,
and this belief that we really are superhuman, and in
many ways we are, but the reality is that we
(04:32):
all have capacity, we all have a limit. And I've
heard people say, you know, great resignation. I think it's
a great reevaluation, and for me that's what it was, like,
what do I want? How can I be my best?
(04:54):
Managing stress was front and center of the conversation I
had with Earl and Philippa. Ellis did join to talk
about how they helped their children cope when Earl was
wrongfully accused, convicted, and imprisoned on politically motivated criminal charges.
Philip A champions the role of therapy and helping her
keep her children around it during this ordeal. I am
(05:16):
so happy that we made that decision and made it early.
And I think, in my view, you don't seek therapy
when you're already in trouble. When I say in trouble,
you mean what I mean is you don't seek therapy
after you've already spun out of control with dealing with
the situation. Therapy can help you walk through and keep
you from spinning out of control in terms of trying
to deal with your emotions or the psychiatric issues that
(05:38):
can come with dealing with trying to activate your coping mechanism.
When I asked Philip how she held it together when
she had to tell her children their father had been
wrongfully convicted and immediately taken off to prison. She shared
her concept of the epic cry. One of the things
to his parents, you have to allow your children to
(05:59):
see you an emotional state. And so I did allow
them to see me just I was just in tears,
and so it gave me an opportunity to talk to
them about what an epic cry is. So an epic
cry is when you just let it go in. At
the end of it, you feel better, because I learned
(06:20):
that from a therapist. She didn't call it an epic cry,
but she said, if your children don't see you express emotion,
it will affect their development as emotional beings. And so
we just had an epic cry together and then we
just said in silence, and it was just a feeling
of numbness. But then walking our children through how to
(06:42):
be resilient, that is when that journey began because they
had not prior had then had the experience of what
it meant to be resilient. This season, several other guests
have shared how they've handled challenging parenting circumstances. Author and
lb G t q I A Plus advocate Jody Patterson
told me how she worked to expand her knowledge perspective
(07:05):
and language in order to become the mother that her
transsn panel and her four other children needed. She talked
with me about the importance of pivoting to meet your
child's needs and learning to parent in a way that
supports your children while giving yourself room to reflect and grow.
The Tony and Emmy Award winning actress Lashawn's explained how
(07:25):
after she tragically lost her husband in the nine eleven
World Trade Center terrorist attack, she managed to raise two
black girls in predominantly white spaces and taught them to
be outspoken, strong, confident women. One of her daughters calls
her a sniper mom, and I just had to ask
about that. I got to go back to the sniper
mom thing at your which I love that phrase, sniper mom,
(07:48):
and and Salia has defined it as all seeing but
from afar into her QUOTEA is she's two hund feet
away and twenty stories up focusing because as soon as
something is a hair off, she right there. So I
love that. I love the imagery. And what's really impressive
about that is, by the way, as you are doing
all this really important raising of your daughters, you're also
(08:11):
holding down an award winning career in an industry that
requires you to be places, and I mean that's not
a nine to five by any stretch. So I'd love
to know some secrets of the sniper mom. I mean,
if people parents listening, I mean so many of us
would love that. I mean, it's like perfect, You're not
in the midst You're that, you got that, You've got
(08:33):
the scope trained on them. How how did how are
you able to do this? Well? You know, the term
helicopter mom was kind of where it was born out
of because you know, there are people that are helicopter parents,
and I never wanted to be that from my daughters.
I never wanted to be the one who was always
at every single I mean I wanted to be supportive,
(08:55):
but I didn't want to be all up in the
mix a little bit. I wanted them to sort of
in their own way and stick their own claim and
make and create their own presence in the world. But
I always always always knew where they were. I had
that what's what's that app that that when you can
see where your kids are all the time to find
find when you can share or share your location. So
(09:18):
I insisted that you know, we share locations. I would
oftentimes have conversations with those around them. You know. For instance,
if if there was a I always made sure that
I was friendly with their best friends. I hosted gatherings
at my home a lot, you know, A lot of
the parties and get togethers were right here in my
(09:38):
kids play area I had, you know, so I always
tried to keep my third eye on everything that was happening,
but but gave them the space and it's at the
same time. And finally, the GCP podcasts were filled with
practical parenting information. We got great tips for helping our
(09:58):
children find success in school from Wendy Lopez a Fleeto,
one of the leaders of Learning Heroes, an organization which
provides parents with information and resources to help support their
children's educational and developmental success. We heard about how they
introduce kids to art and art museums from Naima Keith,
who runs education and public programs at the Los Angeles
County Museum of Art. Naima shared practical tips on how
(10:22):
we can encourage our kids to appreciate art from an
early age and how to get the most out of
museum experiences even if all the little ones want to
do is run around and touch at the artwork. Naima
returned for a second episode, which was also filled with
practical parenting info as she and I talked about how
to manage posting about our children on social media. Naima,
(10:42):
who has a seven year old daughter, shared some of
our concerns about how much is too much, and we
talked about the pros and cons of sharing things where
parents can get carried away with sharing info about their
kids online. I got some additional expertise on this subject
from Tally Horowitz, who works with Common Sense, me, a
great source for information and education about the digital world.
(11:03):
Tally gave lots of helpful information to ease the anxieties
of social media can create for us parents. We got
more helpful practical guidance from Alexis McGill Johnson, President of
Planned Parenthood, about how to have healthy, honest, and sometimes
uncomfortable talks with our kids about sexual health. Alexis and
I discussed Planned Parenthoods role in a post Robi raide world,
(11:26):
and she offered valuable advice on how to discuss the
future of reproductive rights with our children. Journalist Helena Andrews Dyer,
author of The Mamas, What I learned about kids, class,
and race from mom's not like me helped us appreciate
the great source of practical parenting info that parent groups provide,
and if you've been a listener for a while, you'll
know I love parent groups. Helena talked with me about
(11:49):
the complexities of raising her black children in the gentrifying
DC neighborhood and how parent groups, including one in which
she was the only black mom, fueled her parenting and
personal growth. Helena and I shared parent group experiences and
lots of info on how parents can benefit from these
important and helpful communities. So these are just a few
of the many topics I've been talking about since the
(12:12):
start of season four, and I've explored them with a
great group of interesting and inspiring guests. I hope you've
enjoyed g CP this year and that these conversations help
you reflect on how you were parented and how this
impacts your parenting. Most of all, I hope they encourage
you to have more parenting conversations with your friends and families.
There is so much to talk about and so much
(12:33):
we can learn from each other. I'll be back with
more of season four and the second week of January
twenty twenty three. Until then, I hope you'll take some
time to dive into any GCP episodes you've missed. As
I wrap up this recap, I really want to thank
you so much for joining me on this journey. I'm
thrilled to be a part of the Seneca Women podcast
(12:54):
I Heart Network for season four, and I am so
happy and grateful to have you as a member of
the Ground Controlled parent In community. I've been thrilled to
read your positive reviews and to get your messages of
how much you're enjoying the episodes, so please keep those
comments coming on Instagram and Facebook at Ground Control Parenting
and on LinkedIn under Carol Sutton Lewis and as We
(13:14):
Happen to three, I resolve in the new year to
bring you more really interesting conversations about the joy and
the real work of parenting black children. I can't wait
to have you join me until then, Happy New Year,
take care, and thanks for listening.
Hello, and welcome to Ground Control Parenting, a blog and
now a podcast created for parents raising black and brown children.
I'm the creator and your host, Carol Sutton Lewis. In
this podcast series, I talked with some really interesting people
about the job and the joy of parenting. Here we
are in the final days of two and this is
the g CP Recap. I look back over some of
(00:28):
the great conversations and topics from this year's episodes. I
am so glad you've joined us. For those of you
who are new to the podcast, I'm going to start
this recap with a bit of my own backstory. I've
raised three children along with my husband. I have to
give him credit. Our children's ages range from twenty three
to thirty, so I've had a lot of experience parenting
through toddlerhood, schooling, teenage years, college days, and young adulthood.
(00:52):
I'm a lawyer, but I've spent much of my kids
lives focusing on parenting and education through research, writing, teaching,
board service for educational institutions that serve kids from kindergarten
through high school and beyond. Years of parenting groups, and
lots of heart to hearts with fellow parents. I've shared
parenting resources through my Ground Control Parenting blog, taught parenting courses,
(01:14):
and conducted parenting seminars in front of groups large and small.
I really enjoy talking with people about parenting philosophies and
sharing what I've learned. I believe that parenting is a
skill set that can be improved upon at any age
or stage, and that sharing tips and advice about the
skill sets of parenting is key to improving them. I
also find that these parenting conversations hold valuable lessons even
(01:37):
for those whose child raising days are long in the
rear view mirror and for those who never had children.
After all, the impact of how we were parented is everlasting.
So I launched the first season of this podcast in June,
in the early months of the pandemic. In July of
this year, I launched the fourth season of Ground Control Parenting,
and this year we've joined the Seneca Women podcast and
(01:59):
I Heart Network. In case you're wondering why Ground Controlled Parenting, Well,
we're not trying to be helicopter parents hovering from above,
but we do need to be on the tarmac that
ground control crew, making sure our children have what they
need for takeoff. This season is focused on wellness and
this year we've talked about this topic with many guests.
(02:20):
Dr Sharon Malone, gynecologist and menopause expert, gave us tips
on how to make sure we all get the information
and advice we need during our regular doctors visits and
gave those of us facing menopause lots of great management advice. Filmmaker,
writer and producer Tonya Lewis Lee, who was my guest
on my very first podcast episode in came back to
(02:44):
talk about wellness, childbirth, and maternal health for Black women.
We talked about the importance of women taking control of
their childbirthing decisions, and Tana explained how we need to
prioritize Black maternal health. We talked about stress in a
lot of episod so this year, since preserving mental wellness
has been one of the most important topics of Recently,
(03:06):
I got some tips on how to manage the stress
of the holiday season from our resident pediatric stress expert
Stanford Universities, Dr Victor carry On. He also offered some
practical information about therapy, what it is, what it does,
and now I can help parents and children feel better.
Former Atlanta Mayor Kesha Lance Bottoms, my first guest of
(03:27):
this season, talked about how she had to focus on
her mental wellness when determining whether to run for a
second term. You've talked about your decision not to run
for reelection as a decision to step back and protect
your peace. And I have to tell you when I
read that, I just stopped because to protect your piece.
That's such a wonderful way to describe that need, and
(03:50):
all of us can so identify with that. And you've
also talked about how as women we don't often stop
to adjust the s on our chest. I mean, we
just keep going. And again, it resonates so strongly with
with me, with parents, particularly with Black women parents. Can
you talk a little bit about how you've come to
find how important it is to protect our peace as
(04:11):
as black women and mothers, and and how tough it
is for us to do that. Oh gosh, it's so hard.
There are so many expectations that are placed upon us,
and this belief that we really are superhuman, and in
many ways we are, but the reality is that we
(04:32):
all have capacity, we all have a limit. And I've
heard people say, you know, great resignation. I think it's
a great reevaluation, and for me that's what it was, like,
what do I want? How can I be my best?
(04:54):
Managing stress was front and center of the conversation I
had with Earl and Philippa. Ellis did join to talk
about how they helped their children cope when Earl was
wrongfully accused, convicted, and imprisoned on politically motivated criminal charges.
Philip A champions the role of therapy and helping her
keep her children around it during this ordeal. I am
(05:16):
so happy that we made that decision and made it early.
And I think, in my view, you don't seek therapy
when you're already in trouble. When I say in trouble,
you mean what I mean is you don't seek therapy
after you've already spun out of control with dealing with
the situation. Therapy can help you walk through and keep
you from spinning out of control in terms of trying
to deal with your emotions or the psychiatric issues that
(05:38):
can come with dealing with trying to activate your coping mechanism.
When I asked Philip how she held it together when
she had to tell her children their father had been
wrongfully convicted and immediately taken off to prison. She shared
her concept of the epic cry. One of the things
to his parents, you have to allow your children to
(05:59):
see you an emotional state. And so I did allow
them to see me just I was just in tears,
and so it gave me an opportunity to talk to
them about what an epic cry is. So an epic
cry is when you just let it go in. At
the end of it, you feel better, because I learned
(06:20):
that from a therapist. She didn't call it an epic cry,
but she said, if your children don't see you express emotion,
it will affect their development as emotional beings. And so
we just had an epic cry together and then we
just said in silence, and it was just a feeling
of numbness. But then walking our children through how to
(06:42):
be resilient, that is when that journey began because they
had not prior had then had the experience of what
it meant to be resilient. This season, several other guests
have shared how they've handled challenging parenting circumstances. Author and
lb G t q I A Plus advocate Jody Patterson
told me how she worked to expand her knowledge perspective
(07:05):
and language in order to become the mother that her
transsn panel and her four other children needed. She talked
with me about the importance of pivoting to meet your
child's needs and learning to parent in a way that
supports your children while giving yourself room to reflect and grow.
The Tony and Emmy Award winning actress Lashawn's explained how
(07:25):
after she tragically lost her husband in the nine eleven
World Trade Center terrorist attack, she managed to raise two
black girls in predominantly white spaces and taught them to
be outspoken, strong, confident women. One of her daughters calls
her a sniper mom, and I just had to ask
about that. I got to go back to the sniper
mom thing at your which I love that phrase, sniper mom,
(07:48):
and and Salia has defined it as all seeing but
from afar into her QUOTEA is she's two hund feet
away and twenty stories up focusing because as soon as
something is a hair off, she right there. So I
love that. I love the imagery. And what's really impressive
about that is, by the way, as you are doing
all this really important raising of your daughters, you're also
(08:11):
holding down an award winning career in an industry that
requires you to be places, and I mean that's not
a nine to five by any stretch. So I'd love
to know some secrets of the sniper mom. I mean,
if people parents listening, I mean so many of us
would love that. I mean, it's like perfect, You're not
in the midst You're that, you got that, You've got
(08:33):
the scope trained on them. How how did how are
you able to do this? Well? You know, the term
helicopter mom was kind of where it was born out
of because you know, there are people that are helicopter parents,
and I never wanted to be that from my daughters.
I never wanted to be the one who was always
at every single I mean I wanted to be supportive,
(08:55):
but I didn't want to be all up in the
mix a little bit. I wanted them to sort of
in their own way and stick their own claim and
make and create their own presence in the world. But
I always always always knew where they were. I had
that what's what's that app that that when you can
see where your kids are all the time to find
find when you can share or share your location. So
(09:18):
I insisted that you know, we share locations. I would
oftentimes have conversations with those around them. You know. For instance,
if if there was a I always made sure that
I was friendly with their best friends. I hosted gatherings
at my home a lot, you know, A lot of
the parties and get togethers were right here in my
(09:38):
kids play area I had, you know, so I always
tried to keep my third eye on everything that was happening,
but but gave them the space and it's at the
same time. And finally, the GCP podcasts were filled with
practical parenting information. We got great tips for helping our
(09:58):
children find success in school from Wendy Lopez a Fleeto,
one of the leaders of Learning Heroes, an organization which
provides parents with information and resources to help support their
children's educational and developmental success. We heard about how they
introduce kids to art and art museums from Naima Keith,
who runs education and public programs at the Los Angeles
County Museum of Art. Naima shared practical tips on how
(10:22):
we can encourage our kids to appreciate art from an
early age and how to get the most out of
museum experiences even if all the little ones want to
do is run around and touch at the artwork. Naima
returned for a second episode, which was also filled with
practical parenting info as she and I talked about how
to manage posting about our children on social media. Naima,
(10:42):
who has a seven year old daughter, shared some of
our concerns about how much is too much, and we
talked about the pros and cons of sharing things where
parents can get carried away with sharing info about their
kids online. I got some additional expertise on this subject
from Tally Horowitz, who works with Common Sense, me, a
great source for information and education about the digital world.
(11:03):
Tally gave lots of helpful information to ease the anxieties
of social media can create for us parents. We got
more helpful practical guidance from Alexis McGill Johnson, President of
Planned Parenthood, about how to have healthy, honest, and sometimes
uncomfortable talks with our kids about sexual health. Alexis and
I discussed Planned Parenthoods role in a post Robi raide world,
(11:26):
and she offered valuable advice on how to discuss the
future of reproductive rights with our children. Journalist Helena Andrews Dyer,
author of The Mamas, What I learned about kids, class,
and race from mom's not like me helped us appreciate
the great source of practical parenting info that parent groups provide,
and if you've been a listener for a while, you'll
know I love parent groups. Helena talked with me about
(11:49):
the complexities of raising her black children in the gentrifying
DC neighborhood and how parent groups, including one in which
she was the only black mom, fueled her parenting and
personal growth. Helena and I shared parent group experiences and
lots of info on how parents can benefit from these
important and helpful communities. So these are just a few
of the many topics I've been talking about since the
(12:12):
start of season four, and I've explored them with a
great group of interesting and inspiring guests. I hope you've
enjoyed g CP this year and that these conversations help
you reflect on how you were parented and how this
impacts your parenting. Most of all, I hope they encourage
you to have more parenting conversations with your friends and families.
There is so much to talk about and so much
(12:33):
we can learn from each other. I'll be back with
more of season four and the second week of January
twenty twenty three. Until then, I hope you'll take some
time to dive into any GCP episodes you've missed. As
I wrap up this recap, I really want to thank
you so much for joining me on this journey. I'm
thrilled to be a part of the Seneca Women podcast
(12:54):
I Heart Network for season four, and I am so
happy and grateful to have you as a member of
the Ground Controlled parent In community. I've been thrilled to
read your positive reviews and to get your messages of
how much you're enjoying the episodes, so please keep those
comments coming on Instagram and Facebook at Ground Control Parenting
and on LinkedIn under Carol Sutton Lewis and as We
(13:14):
Happen to three, I resolve in the new year to
bring you more really interesting conversations about the joy and
the real work of parenting black children. I can't wait
to have you join me until then, Happy New Year,
take care, and thanks for listening.
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