May 17, 2023 • 21 mins
And that’s a wrap for Season 4—and what a season it has been! This season was packed with helpful ideas, thoughtful reflections, and trustworthy advice across all stages of child development, helping parents to fully realize their potential for parenting with effectiveness and joy. In this episode Carol talks about some of the memorable moments of the season and shares clips from some of the amazing guests–experts in education, healthcare, and the arts. Tune in for an overview of some of the advice, stories and resources Carol and her guests shared this season. Be sure to catch up on any shows you’ve missed, and stay tuned for Season 5! Follow us @GroundControlparenting or at groundcontrolparenting.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hello, and welcome to the season four rewind of Ground
Control Parenting, a podcast creative of parents raising black and
brown children. I'm the creator and your host, Carol Sutton Lewis.
In this podcast series, I talk with some really interesting
people about the job and the joy of parenting. We
have come to the end of season four. This season
(00:25):
had three times more episodes than any of my previous seasons,
So yeah, I've been working really hard to bring you
helpful ideas, thoughtful reflections, and trustworthy advice across all stages
of child development, helping parents to fully realize their potential
for parenting with effectiveness and joy. And this season was
packed with lots of great guests offering their unique insights,
(00:49):
expert advice, and inspiring stories to help us raise our
Black children to be curious, confident, and resilient. Our experts
gave us lots of resources to help us keep our
kids on the right tight and we heard from lots
of guests about how they navigated some real parenting challenges
in this season. For a rewind, I'm going to touch
on some highlights from this season, but I can only
(01:10):
give you a flavor of some of the over forty
shows that we have had. You're going to have to
scroll through all the episodes and listen to them in
their entirety to get all the good stuff. Let's get started.
I'm going to start by talking about some of the
experts who weighed in on this season. First, the education experts.
Early in the season, we heard from Wendy Lopeze Flido,
(01:31):
the VP of content and partnership set Learning Heroes, a
national organization which helps parents support their children's learning, about
how parents can best understand how their kids are doing
in school, which is really important after the pandemic's impact.
We also talked about how to get our children the
help they need when they hit those inevitable bumps along
their academic roads. Wendy and I got to the bottom
(01:53):
of why there's such a large gap between how parents
understand their children's grade level progress and how their kids
are actually doing in school.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Wendy explained the majority of parents report that their children
are getting a's and b's, as high as eighty four
percent of parents saying their children are getting a's and b's,
and they believe those a's and b's mean grade level
mastery to no fault of their own right, whereas teachers
tell us very quickly that those grades equate effort even
(02:23):
more than mastery. So there's a lot of disconnects happening
here in terms of what these different measures mean. And
that's why we think it's an opportunity. It's an opportunity,
and it feels solvable to us.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Wendy offered practical ways for parents to get smarter about
how their children learn and explained how we can work
with teachers to make sure our children are engaged in
their school work and getting as much as they can
out of it. She gave us lots of useful tips
about using the learning Hero's website be a learning hero
dot org to help parents better understand how our children
are doing. I dove into the reading crisis among black
(02:57):
children with literacy expert Maya Smart, author of the book
Reading for Our Lives, a Literary Action Plan from Birth
to Six. Maya has written a practical guide to help
parents raise skilled, confident readers, and this guy tells parents
how to start their focus on reading with their children
from day one. Maya's interest in children's literacy grew out
(03:17):
of reading the sobering staffs about Black kids and reading.
Once her daughter was born.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
We know that those are numbers on average, like on average,
black children's score lower than white children in this metric,
in that metric, but I really wanted to know why,
as a black mom, what was different about the education
our kids were receiving in school, what was different about
their preparation prior to school, What was going on in
(03:43):
all these different kinds of kindergarten or all the different
kinds of preschool programs.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Maya's journalism background kicked in full force.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
So I just had a lot of questions. So it's
a combination of feeling like I needed to be doing
more and not knowing what the more was, and then
just deep concern for black children in general. So then
when I put the two together, it was sort of like,
I need to figure this out for myself, and then
whatever I learned that works, I want to share with
other parents.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
This season, we talked about teachers. I talked with Christina
joy Lyles, vice president of Equity and Impact for Donors Choose,
which is a national nonprofit organization that enables public school
teachers to share wish lists for their classrooms to interested
donors around the country. In the course of her work,
Christina surveyed black male public school teachers on their needs, wants,
(04:33):
and goals as educators, and she shared with me how,
through Donors Choose, she's using US research to lift up
and support black male teachers across the country. In this episode,
she gave us details of this really important work to
help the teachers who have such a significant impact on
our school communities. Teachers were also the topic of conversation
with my last guest of the season, doctor Charlene Reid,
(04:55):
expert educator and co CEO of Excellence Community Schools. Charlene
talk to me about how teachers have fared over the
past few tough years of remote learning and the return
to the classroom, and what teachers really want parents to
know to help children recover from the pandemic slide. Her
invaluable expertise is a teacher, principal, administrator, and parent, later
(05:17):
to offer insights on how parents can strengthen the all
important parent teacher relationship. Charlene started her educational journey in
Oakland public schools, and she told me about how her
black teachers shaped her worldview from a really young age.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
My teachers were, I mean, they made us proud. We
would we would come to like my first grade teacher,
we would come into class, we would we would sing
the Negro national anthem, which I know by heart, all
those as.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Everyone listening should all.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
The verses, and we would chant that we were queens
and kings and we could do anything, and we can
be anybody we wanted to be. And it was kind
of like our kind of affirmation chen like as a
six year old, as a seven year old. So by
the time I moved to Union City and I was
(06:14):
being told that I wasn't that person, there was no
way that. I mean, you can say it, but I
don't believe it. I felt like I can compete with
anyone in the classroom, like I'm gonna do well, and
so everything else is noise. It was definitely an affirming,
uplifting I remember my teachers spending time with us during
(06:36):
lunchtime and talking to us about how great we were.
And I remember specifically in fourth grade, my teachers saying
our history did not start with slavery. That was the
first time I heard that when I when I was
like eight years old, and it always kind of stuck
with me.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
This season, I was so happy to talk about one
of my favorite places for after school fun art museums.
With my guest Naima Keith, vice President of Education and
Public Programs at the Los Angeles Museum of Art, we
talked about how to introduce children to the wonderful world
of art and art museums. Naima shared practical tips for
(07:16):
parents on how to encourage their kids to appreciate art
from an early age, and how parents and kids can
get the most out of the museum experience even if
the little ones just want to run around and try
to touch all the artwork. I talked with many experts
in other fields as well. My friend doctor Sharer Malone,
gynecologist and menopause expert, gave us some concrete tips on
(07:37):
how to make sure we all get the information and
advice we need during our regular doctor's visits. And she
gave those of us facing menopause and it happens sooner
than you think, lots of great management advice. Alexis McGill johnson,
President of Planned Parenthood, talk with me about how to
have healthy and honest talks with our kids about sexual health,
(07:58):
even if those talks could be a little uncomfortable for us.
Alexis and I discussed planned parenthood's role in a post
Roe v. Wade world, and she offered valuable advice on
how to discuss the future of reproductive rights with our children.
And doctor Dasman Heard, director of the Mount Sinai Addiction Institute,
talked with me about the complex landscape of drug use today.
(08:21):
With marijuana available recreationally or medically in most states and
new synthetic drugs regularly hitting the market, parents really need
to know when and how to discuss drugs and drug
use with our children. Doctor Hurd shared her helpful insights
on this, and in a first for Ground Control Parenting,
we asked listeners to send in questions and we answered
(08:41):
some of them during the episode. So season four offered
a lot of great expertise that was just a taste
of it, but it also brought lots of inspirational stories
of parents helping their children work through challenges, or parents
working through challenges in their own lives which impacted their families.
In our season four opener, former Atlanta mayor Keisha Lance
(09:02):
Bottoms talked with me about the challenges she faced raising
her four children while helping her city cope during the pandemic.
Also cope with the murder of George Floyd and the
protests which followed. She told me how her decision not
to run for reelection required her to prioritize mental wellness
for herself and her family over the knowledge as she
could successfully pursue a second term. Howard CEO and mom
(09:25):
Roz Brewer, who leads Walgreens Boots Alliance, a twenty six
billion dollar global pharmacy led healthcare company, sat down with
me and gave great advice on how we can do
our best work at the office and at home. Roz
has worked really hard to build a loving and stable
family as well as an impressive career goals for so
(09:46):
many of us, and in this episode she gives valuable
tips and real talk about what it took to get
this done.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
We wanted the best for the kids, so you know,
that's where we put our investments. So here's a funny thing, Carol.
We never went out for like seven or eight years.
We never really went on a date or anything. We
were like home every Friday night, you know, when we
had the young ones. It's like just because you know,
we were investing in the kids. The one thing that
John and I have complete alignment on is our philosophy
(10:15):
on how we wanted to raise the children. We wanted
to be present, and so I would work, travel and
be at home and that was it. And so that
second child really, you know, put pressure on everything, but
we learned how to make do because it was probably
the most wonderful sacrifice we could ever make.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
We'll be right back after these messages, welcome back to
the show. This season, I also had the pleasure of
talking with several very well known women in the arts
and the entertainment industry about how they're managing motherhood and
their careers. Loraine Toussaint, the award winning actress and one
of the stars of CBS is The Equalizer, who's a
(10:53):
single mom and a mommy blogger, talked with me about
how to develop more open, honest, and healthier parenting practices
we raise our children. Loraine was born in Trinidad and
spent her early childhood there, and she was separated from
her mother for several years when her mother left Trinidad
to work as a nanny in the United States. As
Lorraine told me.
Speaker 6 (11:12):
I grew up into the British system and in a
sort of very traditional middle class Caribbean way, which meant
you children were seen and not heard. You did as
you were told, you didn't interrupt, you didn't have even
your own thoughts.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Lorraine shared how she made the conscious choice to ensure
that her daughter grew up differently. She worked to make
sure her daughter could access her own voice and feel
free to express her emotions. We talked about the turbulence
that can come along with open, honest and vulnerable parenting,
because it's not always easy for parents or kids to
be in this kind of open, honest, vulnerable space, and
(11:50):
how to manage it. The Fabulous Lachan's award winning stage
and screen actress who's now also a Tony nominated Broadway producer,
explained in our episode how after she tragically lost her
husband in the nine to eleven World Trade Center terrorist attack,
she managed to raise two black girls in predominantly white
spaces and taught them to be outspoken, strong, confident women.
(12:12):
I love that one of her daughters calls her a
sniper mom, and I just had to ask her about that.
I got to go back to the sniper mom thing,
which I love that phrase sniper mom, and Celia has
defined it as all seeing but from afar and her
QUOTEA is she's two hundre feet away and twenty stories
up focusing because as soon as something is a hair off,
(12:34):
she's right there.
Speaker 7 (12:35):
So how are you able to do this?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Well?
Speaker 8 (12:39):
You know, the term helicopter mom was kind of weird.
It was born out of because you know, there are
people that are helicopter parents, and I never wanted to
be that for my daughters. I never wanted to be
the one who was always at every single I mean,
I wanted to be supportive, but I didn't want to
be all up in the mix a little bit. I
wanted them to sort of find their own way and
(13:00):
stake their own claim and make and create their own
presence in the world. But I always always always knew
where they were. I had that what's that app that
that when you can see where your kids are all.
Speaker 9 (13:11):
The time to find her?
Speaker 10 (13:13):
Yeah, but you can share, oh, share your location.
Speaker 8 (13:16):
So I insisted that, you know, we share locations. I
always tried to keep my third eye on everything that
was happening, but gave them the space.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
And at the same time, the amazing Misty Copeland also
joined me in conversation. Misty was the first black woman
to become principal dancer with the American Ballet Theater in
their seventy five year history, she has broken down barriers
and paved a path for so many young artists, and
this season, she sat down with me to share her
views about motherhood. She's a new mom, and she's been
(13:49):
really careful and really thoughtful about sharing her life as
a mom after the birth of her son, Jackson.
Speaker 10 (13:54):
As she noted, you know, I'm very private in terms
of my you know, my personal life out side of
my career as a ballerina. And it's just been a
whole new world entering into motherhood and and and deciding,
you know, the things I will share and uh, you
know in terms of my experience or even just you know,
(14:16):
sharing Jackson with the world. And so I'm thankful for
this space that you have, you know, created, and you know,
it's it's a first for me. So this is you know,
a little nerve wrecking, you know, talking about you know,
I'm a I'm a new mother, and it's been one
(14:40):
of the most rewarding things that I've ever experienced.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Mystery reflected on how she and her husband are raising
Jackson in a world very different from the one in
which she grew up. She and her five siblings were
raised by a single mom under really challenging circumstances, and
this day and I discussed the strengths born of that experience.
We talked about how to raise black children who are grounded, aware,
and who have the resilience they need, even if they're
(15:05):
growing up in more privileged spaces. During our conversation, Misty
also reflected on the incredible impact mentors have had on
her life and career, and we talked about the critical
intersection of mentoring and parenting and stressed how mentors can
and should be a welcome part of a family's village.
I had the chance this season to talk with several
parents about how they navigated some pretty big challenges for
(15:28):
their families. Former DeKalb County Georgia CEO Burle Ellis and
his wife Philippa talked with me about how they made
it through a crisis that rocked their family. While Burle
was in office, he was charged with, convicted of, and
imprisoned for crimes he maintained he did not commit, and
ultimately a court agreed that he had not received a
fair trial and overturned his conviction. I asked Burle, whom
(15:51):
I've known since our college days, and his wife philip
Are to talk about how they managed throughout this ordeal,
and particularly how they parented their twin children, who were
set at the time through it all. This was the
first time birl and Philippa have had a detailed conversation
about how their family coped during this crisis. They were
thoughtful and candid about how tough it was to have
this crisis play out in front of their kids and
(16:13):
on such a public stage. They describe how they focused
on maintaining their strong family unit, prioritizing honesty and openness
with their children, relying on both their faith and on
therapy to help them make it through. Philip and talked
about how this ordeal taught them and in tough times,
it's important that you don't hide all your emotions from
(16:33):
your children.
Speaker 7 (16:34):
One of the things to his parents, you have to
allow your children to see you in an emotional state.
And so I did allow them to see me just
I was just in tears, and so it gave me
an opportunity to talk to them about what an epic
cry is. So an epic cry is when you just
let it go and at the end of it, you
(16:57):
feel better because I learned that from a therapists as.
She didn't call it an epic cry, but she said,
if your children don't see you express emotion, it will
affect their development as emotional beings. And so we just
had an epic cry together.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I loved her description of this epic cry. I certainly
will keep that one in my back pocket and pull
it out if I ever need to. Later in the season,
I talked with media producer and radio personality Angelique Francis
and her son Sage about how their family worked to
provide their strong support for black LGBTQIA plus youth. Sage
(17:33):
is a gay young man who led affinity groups for
queer students at his college. One of his siblings is
gender non conforming and a transwrites activist, so their mom, Angelique,
has had invaluable experience raising confident, self loving Black children
who help others find their voices and who advocate for
equitable change. In this two part episode, Angelique and Sage
(17:55):
share their journey to this point, and Angelique explains how
that journey began.
Speaker 11 (18:00):
I did not realize what my children were going through
as young people, as much as I knew, I was
meeting their needs where they're in the best schools, they're
doing all the sports, all the activities. So you're we're
thinking that we're doing all that we can do. But
I didn't understand why my oldest child in high school
was so depressing, was experiencing social anxiety. I didn't understand.
(18:23):
And you know, thinking, Okay, you've got two parents who
love you, who adore you, who try to give you
all that you can. We love it on. You got
great siblings. And I don't think I ever said this
to my oldest but I was thinking, what could you
have to be depressed about? And so I have, with
Sagees help, with Jay's help, and with Ariama's help, have
(18:44):
had to learn some new ways of thinking, some new
ways of living and loving. And as compassionate as I
thought I was, I was still clueless. So it's been
a learning curve.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Another highlight of the season was my conversation with Michelle
Miller Morriel, who returned to the podcast for a second time.
Her first was with her husband National Urbanly President Mark Morril.
Michelle returned to dive deeply into a story that she
began telling us when she last joined the podcast how
she was raised by her paternal grandmother, her father, and
family friends after her mother abandoned her at birth. She's
(19:21):
written a book about it called Belonging, A Daughter's Search
for Identity through Loss and Love, which tells the gripping
story of growing up with a mother whom she knew
about and had met on occasion, but who refuses to
this day to publicly acknowledge her existence. I was eager
to explore the story with Michelle and hear her feelings
towards her mother and the choices she made shifted during
(19:42):
different phases of Michelle's life. Understandably, the birth of Michelle's
oldest child triggered a new wave of pain and angst,
as her mother refused to engage even after learning of
the birth of her only biological grandchild as.
Speaker 9 (19:56):
Such an open mind about it. M that all changed
when I have my own kid and I sent her
a notice about it. She didn't answer the notice, and
when I eventually spoke to her, she didn't even ask
about my son and waxed on about her step granddaughter.
It was so I just felt so I was hurt
(20:21):
because I thought, okay, well, you didn't have a shot
with me. But here's your grandchild. You have no other
children by blood, and so that was also a clue
for me that blood alone does not make a parent.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
In this episode, Michelle speaks candidly and openly with me
about her journey to acceptance of her mother's choices, the
impact of that journey on her own parenting, and how
that journey continues. Those are just a few of the many,
many great parenting conversations that we've had over the course
of this season. And now I'm off to work on
(20:58):
our next season of helpful ideas, thoughtful reflections, and trustworthy advice.
I hope you'll take some time during this break to
catch up on any season four episodes you've missed, and
any you've missed in our previous seasons as well. And
please check out the ground Control parenting blog, which will
soon have even more parenting info and advice. And as
I say at the end of every episode, please subscribe, rate,
(21:22):
and review where you find your podcasts, and tell your friends.
The ground Contral parenting community is growing and expanding, and
with your help, it will continue to do so in
the coming seasons. I'd love to hear more from you
to know what kind of parenting issues you'd like to
hear more about. I'm Carol Sutton Lewis. Thank you so
much for listening and take care.
Hello, and welcome to the season four rewind of Ground
Control Parenting, a podcast creative of parents raising black and
brown children. I'm the creator and your host, Carol Sutton Lewis.
In this podcast series, I talk with some really interesting
people about the job and the joy of parenting. We
have come to the end of season four. This season
(00:25):
had three times more episodes than any of my previous seasons,
So yeah, I've been working really hard to bring you
helpful ideas, thoughtful reflections, and trustworthy advice across all stages
of child development, helping parents to fully realize their potential
for parenting with effectiveness and joy. And this season was
packed with lots of great guests offering their unique insights,
(00:49):
expert advice, and inspiring stories to help us raise our
Black children to be curious, confident, and resilient. Our experts
gave us lots of resources to help us keep our
kids on the right tight and we heard from lots
of guests about how they navigated some real parenting challenges
in this season. For a rewind, I'm going to touch
on some highlights from this season, but I can only
(01:10):
give you a flavor of some of the over forty
shows that we have had. You're going to have to
scroll through all the episodes and listen to them in
their entirety to get all the good stuff. Let's get started.
I'm going to start by talking about some of the
experts who weighed in on this season. First, the education experts.
Early in the season, we heard from Wendy Lopeze Flido,
(01:31):
the VP of content and partnership set Learning Heroes, a
national organization which helps parents support their children's learning, about
how parents can best understand how their kids are doing
in school, which is really important after the pandemic's impact.
We also talked about how to get our children the
help they need when they hit those inevitable bumps along
their academic roads. Wendy and I got to the bottom
(01:53):
of why there's such a large gap between how parents
understand their children's grade level progress and how their kids
are actually doing in school.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Wendy explained the majority of parents report that their children
are getting a's and b's, as high as eighty four
percent of parents saying their children are getting a's and b's,
and they believe those a's and b's mean grade level
mastery to no fault of their own right, whereas teachers
tell us very quickly that those grades equate effort even
(02:23):
more than mastery. So there's a lot of disconnects happening
here in terms of what these different measures mean. And
that's why we think it's an opportunity. It's an opportunity,
and it feels solvable to us.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Wendy offered practical ways for parents to get smarter about
how their children learn and explained how we can work
with teachers to make sure our children are engaged in
their school work and getting as much as they can
out of it. She gave us lots of useful tips
about using the learning Hero's website be a learning hero
dot org to help parents better understand how our children
are doing. I dove into the reading crisis among black
(02:57):
children with literacy expert Maya Smart, author of the book
Reading for Our Lives, a Literary Action Plan from Birth
to Six. Maya has written a practical guide to help
parents raise skilled, confident readers, and this guy tells parents
how to start their focus on reading with their children
from day one. Maya's interest in children's literacy grew out
(03:17):
of reading the sobering staffs about Black kids and reading.
Once her daughter was born.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
We know that those are numbers on average, like on average,
black children's score lower than white children in this metric,
in that metric, but I really wanted to know why,
as a black mom, what was different about the education
our kids were receiving in school, what was different about
their preparation prior to school, What was going on in
(03:43):
all these different kinds of kindergarten or all the different
kinds of preschool programs.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Maya's journalism background kicked in full force.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
So I just had a lot of questions. So it's
a combination of feeling like I needed to be doing
more and not knowing what the more was, and then
just deep concern for black children in general. So then
when I put the two together, it was sort of like,
I need to figure this out for myself, and then
whatever I learned that works, I want to share with
other parents.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
This season, we talked about teachers. I talked with Christina
joy Lyles, vice president of Equity and Impact for Donors Choose,
which is a national nonprofit organization that enables public school
teachers to share wish lists for their classrooms to interested
donors around the country. In the course of her work,
Christina surveyed black male public school teachers on their needs, wants,
(04:33):
and goals as educators, and she shared with me how,
through Donors Choose, she's using US research to lift up
and support black male teachers across the country. In this episode,
she gave us details of this really important work to
help the teachers who have such a significant impact on
our school communities. Teachers were also the topic of conversation
with my last guest of the season, doctor Charlene Reid,
(04:55):
expert educator and co CEO of Excellence Community Schools. Charlene
talk to me about how teachers have fared over the
past few tough years of remote learning and the return
to the classroom, and what teachers really want parents to
know to help children recover from the pandemic slide. Her
invaluable expertise is a teacher, principal, administrator, and parent, later
(05:17):
to offer insights on how parents can strengthen the all
important parent teacher relationship. Charlene started her educational journey in
Oakland public schools, and she told me about how her
black teachers shaped her worldview from a really young age.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
My teachers were, I mean, they made us proud. We
would we would come to like my first grade teacher,
we would come into class, we would we would sing
the Negro national anthem, which I know by heart, all
those as.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Everyone listening should all.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
The verses, and we would chant that we were queens
and kings and we could do anything, and we can
be anybody we wanted to be. And it was kind
of like our kind of affirmation chen like as a
six year old, as a seven year old. So by
the time I moved to Union City and I was
(06:14):
being told that I wasn't that person, there was no
way that. I mean, you can say it, but I
don't believe it. I felt like I can compete with
anyone in the classroom, like I'm gonna do well, and
so everything else is noise. It was definitely an affirming,
uplifting I remember my teachers spending time with us during
(06:36):
lunchtime and talking to us about how great we were.
And I remember specifically in fourth grade, my teachers saying
our history did not start with slavery. That was the
first time I heard that when I when I was
like eight years old, and it always kind of stuck
with me.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
This season, I was so happy to talk about one
of my favorite places for after school fun art museums.
With my guest Naima Keith, vice President of Education and
Public Programs at the Los Angeles Museum of Art, we
talked about how to introduce children to the wonderful world
of art and art museums. Naima shared practical tips for
(07:16):
parents on how to encourage their kids to appreciate art
from an early age, and how parents and kids can
get the most out of the museum experience even if
the little ones just want to run around and try
to touch all the artwork. I talked with many experts
in other fields as well. My friend doctor Sharer Malone,
gynecologist and menopause expert, gave us some concrete tips on
(07:37):
how to make sure we all get the information and
advice we need during our regular doctor's visits. And she
gave those of us facing menopause and it happens sooner
than you think, lots of great management advice. Alexis McGill johnson,
President of Planned Parenthood, talk with me about how to
have healthy and honest talks with our kids about sexual health,
(07:58):
even if those talks could be a little uncomfortable for us.
Alexis and I discussed planned parenthood's role in a post
Roe v. Wade world, and she offered valuable advice on
how to discuss the future of reproductive rights with our children.
And doctor Dasman Heard, director of the Mount Sinai Addiction Institute,
talked with me about the complex landscape of drug use today.
(08:21):
With marijuana available recreationally or medically in most states and
new synthetic drugs regularly hitting the market, parents really need
to know when and how to discuss drugs and drug
use with our children. Doctor Hurd shared her helpful insights
on this, and in a first for Ground Control Parenting,
we asked listeners to send in questions and we answered
(08:41):
some of them during the episode. So season four offered
a lot of great expertise that was just a taste
of it, but it also brought lots of inspirational stories
of parents helping their children work through challenges, or parents
working through challenges in their own lives which impacted their families.
In our season four opener, former Atlanta mayor Keisha Lance
(09:02):
Bottoms talked with me about the challenges she faced raising
her four children while helping her city cope during the pandemic.
Also cope with the murder of George Floyd and the
protests which followed. She told me how her decision not
to run for reelection required her to prioritize mental wellness
for herself and her family over the knowledge as she
could successfully pursue a second term. Howard CEO and mom
(09:25):
Roz Brewer, who leads Walgreens Boots Alliance, a twenty six
billion dollar global pharmacy led healthcare company, sat down with
me and gave great advice on how we can do
our best work at the office and at home. Roz
has worked really hard to build a loving and stable
family as well as an impressive career goals for so
(09:46):
many of us, and in this episode she gives valuable
tips and real talk about what it took to get
this done.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
We wanted the best for the kids, so you know,
that's where we put our investments. So here's a funny thing, Carol.
We never went out for like seven or eight years.
We never really went on a date or anything. We
were like home every Friday night, you know, when we
had the young ones. It's like just because you know,
we were investing in the kids. The one thing that
John and I have complete alignment on is our philosophy
(10:15):
on how we wanted to raise the children. We wanted
to be present, and so I would work, travel and
be at home and that was it. And so that
second child really, you know, put pressure on everything, but
we learned how to make do because it was probably
the most wonderful sacrifice we could ever make.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
We'll be right back after these messages, welcome back to
the show. This season, I also had the pleasure of
talking with several very well known women in the arts
and the entertainment industry about how they're managing motherhood and
their careers. Loraine Toussaint, the award winning actress and one
of the stars of CBS is The Equalizer, who's a
(10:53):
single mom and a mommy blogger, talked with me about
how to develop more open, honest, and healthier parenting practices
we raise our children. Loraine was born in Trinidad and
spent her early childhood there, and she was separated from
her mother for several years when her mother left Trinidad
to work as a nanny in the United States. As
Lorraine told me.
Speaker 6 (11:12):
I grew up into the British system and in a
sort of very traditional middle class Caribbean way, which meant
you children were seen and not heard. You did as
you were told, you didn't interrupt, you didn't have even
your own thoughts.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Lorraine shared how she made the conscious choice to ensure
that her daughter grew up differently. She worked to make
sure her daughter could access her own voice and feel
free to express her emotions. We talked about the turbulence
that can come along with open, honest and vulnerable parenting,
because it's not always easy for parents or kids to
be in this kind of open, honest, vulnerable space, and
(11:50):
how to manage it. The Fabulous Lachan's award winning stage
and screen actress who's now also a Tony nominated Broadway producer,
explained in our episode how after she tragically lost her
husband in the nine to eleven World Trade Center terrorist attack,
she managed to raise two black girls in predominantly white
spaces and taught them to be outspoken, strong, confident women.
(12:12):
I love that one of her daughters calls her a
sniper mom, and I just had to ask her about that.
I got to go back to the sniper mom thing,
which I love that phrase sniper mom, and Celia has
defined it as all seeing but from afar and her
QUOTEA is she's two hundre feet away and twenty stories
up focusing because as soon as something is a hair off,
(12:34):
she's right there.
Speaker 7 (12:35):
So how are you able to do this?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Well?
Speaker 8 (12:39):
You know, the term helicopter mom was kind of weird.
It was born out of because you know, there are
people that are helicopter parents, and I never wanted to
be that for my daughters. I never wanted to be
the one who was always at every single I mean,
I wanted to be supportive, but I didn't want to
be all up in the mix a little bit. I
wanted them to sort of find their own way and
(13:00):
stake their own claim and make and create their own
presence in the world. But I always always always knew
where they were. I had that what's that app that
that when you can see where your kids are all.
Speaker 9 (13:11):
The time to find her?
Speaker 10 (13:13):
Yeah, but you can share, oh, share your location.
Speaker 8 (13:16):
So I insisted that, you know, we share locations. I
always tried to keep my third eye on everything that
was happening, but gave them the space.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
And at the same time, the amazing Misty Copeland also
joined me in conversation. Misty was the first black woman
to become principal dancer with the American Ballet Theater in
their seventy five year history, she has broken down barriers
and paved a path for so many young artists, and
this season, she sat down with me to share her
views about motherhood. She's a new mom, and she's been
(13:49):
really careful and really thoughtful about sharing her life as
a mom after the birth of her son, Jackson.
Speaker 10 (13:54):
As she noted, you know, I'm very private in terms
of my you know, my personal life out side of
my career as a ballerina. And it's just been a
whole new world entering into motherhood and and and deciding,
you know, the things I will share and uh, you
know in terms of my experience or even just you know,
(14:16):
sharing Jackson with the world. And so I'm thankful for
this space that you have, you know, created, and you know,
it's it's a first for me. So this is you know,
a little nerve wrecking, you know, talking about you know,
I'm a I'm a new mother, and it's been one
(14:40):
of the most rewarding things that I've ever experienced.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Mystery reflected on how she and her husband are raising
Jackson in a world very different from the one in
which she grew up. She and her five siblings were
raised by a single mom under really challenging circumstances, and
this day and I discussed the strengths born of that experience.
We talked about how to raise black children who are grounded, aware,
and who have the resilience they need, even if they're
(15:05):
growing up in more privileged spaces. During our conversation, Misty
also reflected on the incredible impact mentors have had on
her life and career, and we talked about the critical
intersection of mentoring and parenting and stressed how mentors can
and should be a welcome part of a family's village.
I had the chance this season to talk with several
parents about how they navigated some pretty big challenges for
(15:28):
their families. Former DeKalb County Georgia CEO Burle Ellis and
his wife Philippa talked with me about how they made
it through a crisis that rocked their family. While Burle
was in office, he was charged with, convicted of, and
imprisoned for crimes he maintained he did not commit, and
ultimately a court agreed that he had not received a
fair trial and overturned his conviction. I asked Burle, whom
(15:51):
I've known since our college days, and his wife philip
Are to talk about how they managed throughout this ordeal,
and particularly how they parented their twin children, who were
set at the time through it all. This was the
first time birl and Philippa have had a detailed conversation
about how their family coped during this crisis. They were
thoughtful and candid about how tough it was to have
this crisis play out in front of their kids and
(16:13):
on such a public stage. They describe how they focused
on maintaining their strong family unit, prioritizing honesty and openness
with their children, relying on both their faith and on
therapy to help them make it through. Philip and talked
about how this ordeal taught them and in tough times,
it's important that you don't hide all your emotions from
(16:33):
your children.
Speaker 7 (16:34):
One of the things to his parents, you have to
allow your children to see you in an emotional state.
And so I did allow them to see me just
I was just in tears, and so it gave me
an opportunity to talk to them about what an epic
cry is. So an epic cry is when you just
let it go and at the end of it, you
(16:57):
feel better because I learned that from a therapists as.
She didn't call it an epic cry, but she said,
if your children don't see you express emotion, it will
affect their development as emotional beings. And so we just
had an epic cry together.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I loved her description of this epic cry. I certainly
will keep that one in my back pocket and pull
it out if I ever need to. Later in the season,
I talked with media producer and radio personality Angelique Francis
and her son Sage about how their family worked to
provide their strong support for black LGBTQIA plus youth. Sage
(17:33):
is a gay young man who led affinity groups for
queer students at his college. One of his siblings is
gender non conforming and a transwrites activist, so their mom, Angelique,
has had invaluable experience raising confident, self loving Black children
who help others find their voices and who advocate for
equitable change. In this two part episode, Angelique and Sage
(17:55):
share their journey to this point, and Angelique explains how
that journey began.
Speaker 11 (18:00):
I did not realize what my children were going through
as young people, as much as I knew, I was
meeting their needs where they're in the best schools, they're
doing all the sports, all the activities. So you're we're
thinking that we're doing all that we can do. But
I didn't understand why my oldest child in high school
was so depressing, was experiencing social anxiety. I didn't understand.
(18:23):
And you know, thinking, Okay, you've got two parents who
love you, who adore you, who try to give you
all that you can. We love it on. You got
great siblings. And I don't think I ever said this
to my oldest but I was thinking, what could you
have to be depressed about? And so I have, with
Sagees help, with Jay's help, and with Ariama's help, have
(18:44):
had to learn some new ways of thinking, some new
ways of living and loving. And as compassionate as I
thought I was, I was still clueless. So it's been
a learning curve.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Another highlight of the season was my conversation with Michelle
Miller Morriel, who returned to the podcast for a second time.
Her first was with her husband National Urbanly President Mark Morril.
Michelle returned to dive deeply into a story that she
began telling us when she last joined the podcast how
she was raised by her paternal grandmother, her father, and
family friends after her mother abandoned her at birth. She's
(19:21):
written a book about it called Belonging, A Daughter's Search
for Identity through Loss and Love, which tells the gripping
story of growing up with a mother whom she knew
about and had met on occasion, but who refuses to
this day to publicly acknowledge her existence. I was eager
to explore the story with Michelle and hear her feelings
towards her mother and the choices she made shifted during
(19:42):
different phases of Michelle's life. Understandably, the birth of Michelle's
oldest child triggered a new wave of pain and angst,
as her mother refused to engage even after learning of
the birth of her only biological grandchild as.
Speaker 9 (19:56):
Such an open mind about it. M that all changed
when I have my own kid and I sent her
a notice about it. She didn't answer the notice, and
when I eventually spoke to her, she didn't even ask
about my son and waxed on about her step granddaughter.
It was so I just felt so I was hurt
(20:21):
because I thought, okay, well, you didn't have a shot
with me. But here's your grandchild. You have no other
children by blood, and so that was also a clue
for me that blood alone does not make a parent.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
In this episode, Michelle speaks candidly and openly with me
about her journey to acceptance of her mother's choices, the
impact of that journey on her own parenting, and how
that journey continues. Those are just a few of the many,
many great parenting conversations that we've had over the course
of this season. And now I'm off to work on
(20:58):
our next season of helpful ideas, thoughtful reflections, and trustworthy advice.
I hope you'll take some time during this break to
catch up on any season four episodes you've missed, and
any you've missed in our previous seasons as well. And
please check out the ground Control parenting blog, which will
soon have even more parenting info and advice. And as
I say at the end of every episode, please subscribe, rate,
(21:22):
and review where you find your podcasts, and tell your friends.
The ground Contral parenting community is growing and expanding, and
with your help, it will continue to do so in
the coming seasons. I'd love to hear more from you
to know what kind of parenting issues you'd like to
hear more about. I'm Carol Sutton Lewis. Thank you so
much for listening and take care.
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