November 5, 2025 • 29 mins
A single fridge door can tell the truth you’ve been avoiding. When our guest boxed up their home to break a cycle of compulsive shopping, a shelf of condiments sparked an unexpected reckoning with grief, a father’s dry alcoholism, and the way addiction quietly changes shape. What follows is a candid, practical journey from clutter to clarity—using 12-step tools not just to stop a behavior, but to understand the feelings that built it.
We swap stories about how recovery becomes a way of living: creating literal space so better things can enter, replacing numbing with writing and meditation, and choosing community over isolation. The conversation gets personal and grounded, from carnivore diet routines and motorcycle “moving meditations” to the stark honesty of recognizing transferable addictions like sympathy-seeking, overwork, or endless caffeine. The body weighs in too. Autoimmune flares and carpal tunnel become loud nudges to tune life toward purpose instead of pushing through pain.
Creativity sits at the center. As a painter, leatherworker, filmmaker, and playwright, our guest finds that making art calms the nervous system and brings pain down to a whisper. Their new immersive play about a recovery meeting invites audiences into a safer space where loss, divorce, and addiction can be named without shame—normalizing recovery language for anyone who needs a starting point. Along the way we share sponsor wisdom that sticks: if you want to use, have a milkshake; if that doesn’t work, have another. Then follow three rules—don’t use, go to meetings, be nice—especially to yourself.
If you’re carrying more than you can see, this story offers tools you can try today and a community you can return to tomorrow. Listen, share with someone who needs a gentle nudge, and leave a review so more people can find their way to this circle.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Notice my alcoholism is gathering things and I'm
excessive in shopping, excessiveand gathering things, and
excessive um just excessive andthat and so I applied my my
program into shopaholics type ofthing.
Um and so I decided to declutterthings.
(00:23):
Nice.
So I gather my items into movingboxes and left them in each
room.
And whenever I got like I neededsomething, I took it out and I
put it away when I used it.
And then I applied why I amholding on to these items.
And if it's an emotional tie,then I use the program, my
(00:46):
12-step program, to figure outwhat's the emotional tie.
And I have to use um is it aneed, is it a want?
Is it a is it a regret?
And like, okay, what is my partto it?
Is it something that I can workwith, or is it is it can I give
it as an heirloom to someone?
(01:07):
So I I use a process to get ridof it or keep it.
But if I keep it, am I able topass it along?
SPEAKER_00 (01:14):
You know, then I'm insightful.
I I I um I don't think thatpeople realize so much that an
addiction is easily transferredinto something else.
Like you see the guys at the12-step program, they're all
smoking, chain smoking anddrinking cup after cup of
coffee.
Yeah, and it's like, well, okay,I guess you're not drinking
(01:36):
anymore, but you're doingsomething else that's pretty it
it is transferable.
SPEAKER_01 (01:43):
Like, so I had the nice blessing to be a
hairstylist to notice clientsand habits of like I had some
clients that are divorced, andthey'll say that they're
divorced, even it's been 15years, and I finally had enough
with a client.
I'm like, bro, you're single,you got a divorce 15 years ago.
(02:08):
Yeah, you're just single, right?
And I'm not gonna feed your egoanymore.
You're yeah, you're addicted tothat sympathy, and I'm I'm not
gonna give it to you.
SPEAKER_00 (02:17):
Yeah, yeah, you're good for that for a year or so,
but I'm not gonna be able to doit.
SPEAKER_01 (02:20):
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, like you're no, you're nolonger divorced anymore, man.
Like you, you need to work alike I can help you.
Like, so I applied that thatrecovery program to that that
mentality of an addiction, ofthat sympathy.
I'm like, let's work that, let'swork that out, you know, let's
work that out.
(02:40):
So uh it could be applied to alot of different things.
So when I was decluttering, whenI was trying to figure out uh
creating space, physical space,so I can let things in.
So that was one thing I wastrying to do is creating more
space, freedom for something newto come into my life, because I
(03:02):
was hoarding and creatingproblems and not creating room
for something to enter.
So I decided to remove thingslike old clothes and items in my
apartment.
I got rid of items I don't need.
SPEAKER_00 (03:18):
And I had very insightful because that's
exactly what happens when youremove whether it's a
relationship or uh uh whatevercareer or whatever it is, or
items, all of a sudden newthings come and take their
place, and they're usuallybetter for you.
SPEAKER_01 (03:34):
Exactly, exactly.
And all of a sudden, I when Igot into the kitchen, this was
an epitome, like like aha.
Uh I got to the refrigerator,and uh I I was cleaning the
refrigerator out, and and atthis time I was on the carnivore
(03:57):
diet, and I I'm on I'm still onthe carnivore, but a little
dirty on the carnivore.
But the carnivore is basicallyjust meat and fats and dairy,
and that's that's pretty muchit.
Um and I looked at into thedoor, and I'm like, I have a lot
of condiments, like a lot ofcondiments, like an excessive
amount.
(04:18):
And uh that bothered me.
And luckily, I was in tunedenough.
That's a great thing aboutrecovery.
You become more beware, sure,insightful.
I'm like, okay, this issomething I need to work on,
let's hold off on it, let'swrite about it, or let's just
put a little jock note and justput it away and come back to it.
(04:40):
So shut the door, wrote aboutit, thought about it.
When I meditate or I need tothink about something, I'll
write it and I'll go on amotorcycle ride.
Okay, and that's my presentmeditation.
So I go on a ride.
So I wrote on it a month later,came back to it.
(05:00):
I'm like, oh uh, I did ameditation, walked to the the
refrigerator, and I was like,it's my dad.
SPEAKER_00 (05:11):
Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_01 (05:13):
Um my dad, he admitted to me and to my mom
that he is a dry alcoholic.
SPEAKER_00 (05:22):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (05:24):
Um, he made a couple comments, but before I got
sober, when I was younger, in myin my early 20s, he admitted
that he could have been or is orwas is was a dry alcoholic.
And now I reflect on at thattime, he ref I reflected on he
would drink a a koozy, uh like a40-ounce koozie of dry instant
(05:48):
decaf tea.
SPEAKER_00 (05:50):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (05:51):
About seven of them a day.
SPEAKER_00 (05:53):
Yeah, eggs.
SPEAKER_01 (05:54):
Like excessively.
Then he would uh like uh uh soysauce.
Every time we have rice orsomething like that, he would
have like like a cup of soysauce on his rice, or he would
have like a cup of ketchup onhis eggs, or like uh he would
have two cups of like um syrupon his pancakes, like excessive
(06:14):
amount of condiments.
All right.
And um back in the day, it wasPace or Sam's Club.
Back I'm from Des Moines, Iowa,technically Urbindale.
So these we we buy these bigbulks of condiments, right?
And he would excessively usethese condiments.
(06:35):
Okay, and subconsciously I wouldhold on to these condiments
because it was a constantreminder.
So I held on to this grief orthis um sorrow about my father,
and uh, I'm still in theprocess, and that was five years
ago.
I'm still grieving and stillprocessing the death and also
(06:59):
the lost connection and dealingwith the the type of neglect I'm
dealing with.
SPEAKER_00 (07:05):
But you're actually processing it now.
I'm still processing it, but youare actually processing it, you
know?
SPEAKER_01 (07:11):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:11):
I'm I'm processing it, yeah.
Sort of doing something and nowbeing aware of it, but you're
you're working through it now.
SPEAKER_01 (07:18):
Oh, yeah.
It and and the fact that I wasacknowledging it and not
drinking over it, right?
You know, um, that's thebeautiful beautiful part of of
recovery is finding the tools todeal with something.
And the healing part is finallythe the the letting go and being
(07:40):
present of the having that aha,and like all of a sudden your
system is like finally, finally,thank you, uh, for letting that
go.
And then able to help someoneelse in recognizing I know that
sign.
I I can see that you might beholding on to some type of
(08:01):
grief.
SPEAKER_00 (08:02):
Yeah, I you know you are aware, I'm sure deeply aware
that this is not just a thingyou have to accomplish, but it's
a lifetime of of practice.
And these problems that you haveare part of your DNA and you're
wired, it's never gonna go away.
It's like my cancer.
(08:23):
I I have to deal with it for therest of my life.
Even when I have it gone, it'sstill gonna want to come back
and it'll always be looking fora place to come in and and and
and set those bad habits up thatallow it to be.
So, you know, you've you'veacknowledged or accepted the
fact that you know this is mynew life.
I I live this way now.
(08:43):
Yeah.
You you talk a lot about yourart, um, but you didn't really
um kind of clarify about that.
I know you're you're working infilm and and writing.
Yeah.
So why don't you tell us alittle bit about your art?
SPEAKER_01 (08:55):
So um, yeah, thank you.
I I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_00 (09:00):
Um, you know, we're we're gonna go a little long
because we're we're in this.
I don't want to, I don't want tocut it.
I think this is beautiful.
Let's just keep going.
SPEAKER_01 (09:09):
Thank you.
I appreciate the time.
And um, you know, uh so I I do acouple different artistic uh
capabilities I'm creativity isso so important.
All right, the human soul, thehuman body.
We we humans we like to create,we have to create, and my my
(09:32):
source of creation is art.
And I I paint uh abstractpainting, and I I also work with
leather, so I create that way.
And also my new adventures areuh uh ironically, playwriting
slash uh uh filmmaking.
Uh and my new adventure is uhI'm developing a play about
(09:55):
recovery.
SPEAKER_00 (09:56):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (09:57):
And I'm also working on um a couple of short films
right now uh about recovery aswell.
And it it is it's interesting.
Finally, you once you it you'rein your your zone, your clicking
zone, all of a sudden like youryour health issues are it aligns
(10:20):
and it kind of disappears.
Like you don't notice them,right?
You know they're there, right?
But all of a sudden they kind oflike dwindle a little bit.
SPEAKER_00 (10:28):
But they're not such a stark feature that has to be
reckoned with every time.
Like correct, correct.
SPEAKER_01 (10:34):
You can you can now navigate your life, and it's
there, but yeah, you're you knowthey're there, it's just like
they're not they're not presentas much.
Like so, um like this is what Inoticed about health and then
with being lined within yourpassions.
Uh um, so I have an autoimmunedisease, and it's interesting
(10:57):
about autoimmune, allautoimmune, it's it's the root
cause is unknown.
Right.
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (11:04):
But something your body attacks itself.
Okay, great.
SPEAKER_01 (11:07):
Right.
But if you talk to uh uh adoctor and a psychologist, uh
the common denominator istrauma.
Okay, so you get those two thoseprofessions talking together,
they're like, oh wait, yourperson over here that has trauma
and your person are the samepeople that have autoimmune,
(11:28):
okay.
SPEAKER_00 (11:29):
Something about it, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (11:31):
Something about it.
And so if you try to heal thetrauma, and so something reveals
itself.
So I notice when I'm in alignwith my passions, my autoimmune
pain generally softens.
Nice.
And uh when I'm not inalignment, it flares up.
(11:53):
All right, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00 (11:56):
Pretty dramatic.
It's a it's it's a pretty loudvoice talking to you.
SPEAKER_01 (12:00):
It is, it really is.
Like um, I I went to a retreat,a meditation retreat this past
weekend, and we did someharmonation uh meditation
things, and all of a sudden, ifyou're a musician, I used to
sing.
Um I was a music art major whenI first went to college, and we
studied uh the God note a littlebit.
(12:20):
And the God notes is aharmonization note that you
generally cannot produce, it's aharmonization between voices,
and um I produced it within myown chamber of my my vocals.
Wow.
Um, and it was an instant umreminder that um I had to get
(12:42):
back into harmonization ofmyself.
SPEAKER_00 (12:45):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (12:46):
Uh and and it was something that had I I was off
kilter now that this pastweekend was a reminder, like,
okay, I'm on the right path.
SPEAKER_00 (12:56):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (12:57):
You know, so um you had to keep the course straight.
And so if you're in recovery orseeking recovery, it hopefully
you're aware that nudges willget you back on course.
And I'm in that I'm aware ofthese these these nudges, like
(13:22):
I'll give you an example.
This is very so fresh in my liferight now, and I'll tell you.
So as a hairstylist, old career,I'm doubling careers right now,
filmmaker, playwright, andhairstylist.
Yeah, I'm multi-creative,talented.
Um, but as a hairstylist, thenormal health issues are carpal
(13:47):
tunnel, and um I'm developingcarpal tunnel in both hands.
So I'm I'm unable to grasp itcorrectly.
And in the last couple years, uhI've been wanting or thinking I
should move forward into adifferent path, and I've been
(14:08):
unable to step out of it.
Okay.
Now I have no choice to do so.
And either I can fight it or Ican be core, like listen to my
body and be like, okay, this istime.
And I'm not gonna fight itbecause obviously, if I fight
(14:30):
it, I'm gonna have more physicalproblems.
SPEAKER_00 (14:32):
Right, right.
It's one of those things, themore you do, the more it
develops, and the less you cancorrect.
SPEAKER_01 (14:39):
Yeah, and the universe is letting me know,
like God, the universe, it'slike, hey, this is me saying,
go.
Right, right.
That's the thing.
Please.
Yeah, exactly.
So I'm developing this playabout recovery, and uh it is a
passion of mine, and it's it'sdesigned and spread the world of
(15:01):
the spread the world of recoveryto everyone as a commonality um
to make it common and to spreadthe idea that everyone is
addictive, has addictive traits.
And um and it's the introductoryto recovery, and but in an
artistic way.
So I'm really excited aboutthat.
(15:22):
I'm gonna be testing it hereshortly in Los Angeles in
January.
And after that, I'm hoping to mygoal is to hit other cities
after that.
SPEAKER_00 (15:34):
Well, you know, um we have a uh nonprofit called
Gardens of Hope.
Um, nice hours south of LA.
And uh we use our gardens fortherapeutic horticulture and
people overcoming addiction ormental health issues or physical
issues or special needs of anykind, um, education.
(15:58):
We do all those things throughthe gardens.
I would love to uh walk thegardens with you when you come
out this way.
SPEAKER_01 (16:06):
Yeah, um, that'd be awesome.
SPEAKER_00 (16:07):
Maybe we'll record an episode live just uh in
person.
Yeah, I love that.
Well, well, definitely keep thatin mind.
So as you're going through this,you know what I've noticed, many
of our guests they go through aproblem, uh, an obstacle, a
trauma, a calamity, whatever youwant to call it, that thing.
(16:28):
Yours is addiction, mine'scancer, somebody else's is is uh
a disease, whatever it is, itdoesn't matter.
And we decide we're gonnaovercome it.
Overcome it, or we we we find away through it uh as it is, you
know.
Sometimes overcoming it means wewe we live our life with it, but
(16:49):
not being ruled by it or notbeing you know controlled by it.
Um, but generally what I see thepeople that come to this show,
um they find a way to helpothers with it.
And I know you're workingthrough your art.
Is there it like, did you cometo a place where you said, like,
(17:09):
for me, I I made a commitment.
Like I got hit with a you know,basically God jumped in my head
and said, What are you willingto do for this?
And I'm like, whoa, you know,and I'm like, Yeah, I'll do
whatever it takes, you know.
And then ultimately I made acommitment to help anybody I
can, you know, for the rest ofmy life.
And that's my, you know, mycalling.
(17:29):
And you know, that doesn't meanthat's the only thing I do in
life, but but when I seesomebody that needs help, I have
answers.
I know how to find solutions,and and that's now my you know,
a big part of my life.
Did you come to a place likethat or is it just sort of
happening?
SPEAKER_01 (17:45):
Uh you know, it's coming full circle right now,
um, with that whole helpingothers.
I always I always like helpingothers like in helping educate
within the hair, and like evenon set, I like to help others um
and just spreading informationout.
(18:06):
As for uh um um helping anddiscovering uh a recovery as a
whole, um health information,like in behind the chair, I'm
just indulging them withinformation.
It's great, uh I love it.
(18:26):
Um I I just have this intuitionto um I have to do something and
and change for myself or otherpeople to help them.
And and it's a it's a gnawing uheffect, like I'm I'm not
(18:49):
complete unless I'm doing it.
I love it.
If that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00 (18:53):
Yeah yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:55):
Uh and but I'm super, super uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_00 (18:58):
Uh because that's how you know you're doing the
right thing, you know.
You get you're in anuncomfortable place and you do
it anyways.
SPEAKER_01 (19:04):
Yeah, it is it feels unna I mean it's feels natural,
but unnatural at the same time.
Um I'm I'm not a social mediaperson, and and it it's a hard
battle between like, oh, I needto be on social media, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
I'm like, but I don't want to beon it.
Right, uh but I realize uh youhave to make yourself stand in
(19:30):
front of it.
But um as for helping others,discovering even the hardest
scenarios of cancer or divorceor a loss of loved one, there
are ways to go through it, andgoing through it alone is the
(19:50):
wrong way.
SPEAKER_00 (19:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (19:52):
Because I've been through it alone.
SPEAKER_00 (19:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (19:55):
Uh, except for cancer.
I have not gone through cancer.
SPEAKER_00 (19:58):
You never will, because you won't uh be able to
be on that carnivore dietanymore.
SPEAKER_01 (20:03):
I've been told that, yeah.
Yeah, like uh, but any majortrauma situation, you always
feel like you're always alone.
Yeah, but that it's really nottrue.
Any spiritual practices thatthat that are out there, it's
they teach you it's never you'renever alone.
SPEAKER_00 (20:25):
Oh fellowship, community, and and connection.
SPEAKER_01 (20:28):
Yeah, it's always that's always, always, always
important.
So wherever you're at, you know,whatever the the situation is,
there is a community.
That's the beautiful thing aboutsocial media now.
Right.
And and what you're doing,you're creating a space for
people to seek help.
SPEAKER_00 (20:46):
The point of all of this is building a community,
you know, that a listener canplop in and go through, you
know, 300 episodes and findsomething that connects with
them and listen to them and go,Oh, wow, look, there's somebody
else that shares this thing withme.
And you know, usually there's away to reach out to that person
or or find their way.
I love it.
SPEAKER_01 (21:07):
Yeah.
It's awesome.
So, like the the the play I'mdeveloping that I wrote, it it's
it it's it's a it's a platformand a it's a play about a
recovering meeting.
Okay.
And you you you follow astoryline of a female and a
villain that happens in front ofyou, but it's a organization, a
(21:29):
group of people that have lifeproblems, and they have they
they have a place where theyseek refuge, and from addiction
to a death to a divorce, to anyother any elements uh problems,
and they just have a safe placeto come to and just be
like-minded health.
(21:50):
That that that's all it is.
Okay, uh, and I just give it aplace for that, and it's
interactive, inner immersivetype of play.
So my audience members will be apart of the play.
And so the goal is my audiencemembers hopefully will plant a
little seed for the future.
So if they have a problem,they'll be like, Oh, I have a
(22:12):
problem subconsciously, like, ohyeah, that play.
Like, oh wait, da da da andda-da-da-da-da.
Yeah, so um, that's the goal.
SPEAKER_00 (22:22):
So you're talking about January, maybe uh yes,
yeah.
So I start showing.
SPEAKER_01 (22:28):
Yep, I I'm in the middle um in submission of
castings right now.
Uh uh January 4th through thethrough the 10th is my I have
two nights, but that's the roughweek that I'm testing it.
And after that, uh back to thedrawing board to readjust.
(22:49):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_00 (22:49):
Then after that, um maybe by next summer something
will be uh somewhere to be seen,huh?
SPEAKER_01 (22:57):
Oh well, 100%.
I have my one-year goal is gonnabe there is a festival in
Scotland.
I'm I'm gonna be going toScotland with it.
So for this one year, I'm gonnabe hitting some major cities
throughout.
SPEAKER_00 (23:14):
So that's exciting.
Well, I hope you uh film thething as well.
SPEAKER_01 (23:19):
And I no, I yeah, I'm I'm gonna be shooting it as
well uh to help get some fundingso I can travel with it as well.
So yeah, I'm a filmmaker.
Of course I'm gonna film it.
SPEAKER_00 (23:31):
I would say, yeah, it seems like a natural uh oh
yeah, yeah.
Well, listen, Severn, I I I amexcited about the doing, and I
would love to help you promotethis any way that I can.
So feel free to stay in touch.
And I will I can always, as youhave a link to share, I can put
that into your show notes.
You know, the thing about thisis once we publish it, it's out
(23:54):
there.
Yeah, and so we can makeadditions and and and you know,
tweak the show notes to toreflect some upcoming.
And also, if you've got somemore to talk about, we can
always come back and do anotherepisode.
Yeah, love to.
Wonderful, wonderful.
Well, listen.
I appreciate you.
I think I'm gonna break thisinto two episodes because people
(24:15):
have a little short attentionspan, and uh we'll get more
listeners doing it that way tolisten to it.
SPEAKER_01 (24:22):
Yeah, yeah.
You do you.
It's all good, my friend.
SPEAKER_00 (24:24):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Well, I just really want tothank you for uh sharing your
story with us.
And I I think um this is soaligned with what we're doing as
a not only as a podcast, butwith my nonprofit and the
community we're building.
So I want to welcome you to thefamily.
SPEAKER_01 (24:40):
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
You your your movement is verypowerful for other people that
are seeking for help.
So uh it's it's an honor to be apart of it.
SPEAKER_00 (24:50):
Beautiful.
And it do you have any sort ofcontact information if somebody
wants to connect with you insome way?
SPEAKER_01 (24:56):
Uh I'm pretty simple to find uh severinlang.com or
severinlang um on Instagram.
Um Severn Lang, you can find methere.
Yeah, perfect.
I appreciate you, Ann.
Is there anything?
Uh yeah, so I'd love to connectdefinitely.
SPEAKER_00 (25:18):
And you know, if you just had a 20-second elevator
pitch to share with ourlisteners, what would that look
like?
SPEAKER_01 (25:26):
Yeah, so um so in recovery, we we have this this
thing called sponsors.
And my late one of my sponsorspassed away.
Uh, and I'm wanting to spreadhis word around.
Uh Matthew Perry was my sponsor.
He passed away not too long ago.
(25:48):
And his nugget for myself tokeep me aligned a lot when I'm
in the my darkest period is uhtwo things.
If you feel like you're gonnarelapse or use um with one of
your isms, go have a milkshake.
If you're gonna feel after thatone milkshake, if you feel like
you're gonna use or drink, gohave another milkshake.
(26:10):
That's one yeah, one that solvesa lot of problems, yeah.
Yeah, right.
But uh the biggest one was uhsobriety is easy.
All you have to do is don't useor drink, okay.
Your ism, your your addiction.
unknown (26:28):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_01 (26:28):
Um, go to meetings, meaning community and be nice.
I love it.
But that last one is hard.
SPEAKER_00 (26:36):
Yeah, yeah.
Be loving.
That's the whole key toeverything in life, right?
SPEAKER_01 (26:40):
You can be nice.
It's easy to be nice toeveryone, yeah.
But be nice to yourself is thehardest one.
I hear so be nice to yourself.
And and after that, it's easy.
Wonderful.
SPEAKER_00 (26:52):
Well, Severin, again, it's been an absolute uh
treat to to share this with you.
And uh for our listeners, thishas been another episode of the
Healthy Living Podcast.
And I want to thank you all foruh making this show possible,
and we will see you next week.
Notice my alcoholism is gathering things and I'm
excessive in shopping, excessiveand gathering things, and
excessive um just excessive andthat and so I applied my my
program into shopaholics type ofthing.
Um and so I decided to declutterthings.
(00:23):
Nice.
So I gather my items into movingboxes and left them in each
room.
And whenever I got like I neededsomething, I took it out and I
put it away when I used it.
And then I applied why I amholding on to these items.
And if it's an emotional tie,then I use the program, my
(00:46):
12-step program, to figure outwhat's the emotional tie.
And I have to use um is it aneed, is it a want?
Is it a is it a regret?
And like, okay, what is my partto it?
Is it something that I can workwith, or is it is it can I give
it as an heirloom to someone?
(01:07):
So I I use a process to get ridof it or keep it.
But if I keep it, am I able topass it along?
SPEAKER_00 (01:14):
You know, then I'm insightful.
I I I um I don't think thatpeople realize so much that an
addiction is easily transferredinto something else.
Like you see the guys at the12-step program, they're all
smoking, chain smoking anddrinking cup after cup of
coffee.
Yeah, and it's like, well, okay,I guess you're not drinking
(01:36):
anymore, but you're doingsomething else that's pretty it
it is transferable.
SPEAKER_01 (01:43):
Like, so I had the nice blessing to be a
hairstylist to notice clientsand habits of like I had some
clients that are divorced, andthey'll say that they're
divorced, even it's been 15years, and I finally had enough
with a client.
I'm like, bro, you're single,you got a divorce 15 years ago.
(02:08):
Yeah, you're just single, right?
And I'm not gonna feed your egoanymore.
You're yeah, you're addicted tothat sympathy, and I'm I'm not
gonna give it to you.
SPEAKER_00 (02:17):
Yeah, yeah, you're good for that for a year or so,
but I'm not gonna be able to doit.
SPEAKER_01 (02:20):
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, like you're no, you're nolonger divorced anymore, man.
Like you, you need to work alike I can help you.
Like, so I applied that thatrecovery program to that that
mentality of an addiction, ofthat sympathy.
I'm like, let's work that, let'swork that out, you know, let's
work that out.
(02:40):
So uh it could be applied to alot of different things.
So when I was decluttering, whenI was trying to figure out uh
creating space, physical space,so I can let things in.
So that was one thing I wastrying to do is creating more
space, freedom for something newto come into my life, because I
(03:02):
was hoarding and creatingproblems and not creating room
for something to enter.
So I decided to remove thingslike old clothes and items in my
apartment.
I got rid of items I don't need.
SPEAKER_00 (03:18):
And I had very insightful because that's
exactly what happens when youremove whether it's a
relationship or uh uh whatevercareer or whatever it is, or
items, all of a sudden newthings come and take their
place, and they're usuallybetter for you.
SPEAKER_01 (03:34):
Exactly, exactly.
And all of a sudden, I when Igot into the kitchen, this was
an epitome, like like aha.
Uh I got to the refrigerator,and uh I I was cleaning the
refrigerator out, and and atthis time I was on the carnivore
(03:57):
diet, and I I'm on I'm still onthe carnivore, but a little
dirty on the carnivore.
But the carnivore is basicallyjust meat and fats and dairy,
and that's that's pretty muchit.
Um and I looked at into thedoor, and I'm like, I have a lot
of condiments, like a lot ofcondiments, like an excessive
amount.
(04:18):
And uh that bothered me.
And luckily, I was in tunedenough.
That's a great thing aboutrecovery.
You become more beware, sure,insightful.
I'm like, okay, this issomething I need to work on,
let's hold off on it, let'swrite about it, or let's just
put a little jock note and justput it away and come back to it.
(04:40):
So shut the door, wrote aboutit, thought about it.
When I meditate or I need tothink about something, I'll
write it and I'll go on amotorcycle ride.
Okay, and that's my presentmeditation.
So I go on a ride.
So I wrote on it a month later,came back to it.
(05:00):
I'm like, oh uh, I did ameditation, walked to the the
refrigerator, and I was like,it's my dad.
SPEAKER_00 (05:11):
Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_01 (05:13):
Um my dad, he admitted to me and to my mom
that he is a dry alcoholic.
SPEAKER_00 (05:22):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (05:24):
Um, he made a couple comments, but before I got
sober, when I was younger, in myin my early 20s, he admitted
that he could have been or is orwas is was a dry alcoholic.
And now I reflect on at thattime, he ref I reflected on he
would drink a a koozy, uh like a40-ounce koozie of dry instant
(05:48):
decaf tea.
SPEAKER_00 (05:50):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (05:51):
About seven of them a day.
SPEAKER_00 (05:53):
Yeah, eggs.
SPEAKER_01 (05:54):
Like excessively.
Then he would uh like uh uh soysauce.
Every time we have rice orsomething like that, he would
have like like a cup of soysauce on his rice, or he would
have like a cup of ketchup onhis eggs, or like uh he would
have two cups of like um syrupon his pancakes, like excessive
(06:14):
amount of condiments.
All right.
And um back in the day, it wasPace or Sam's Club.
Back I'm from Des Moines, Iowa,technically Urbindale.
So these we we buy these bigbulks of condiments, right?
And he would excessively usethese condiments.
(06:35):
Okay, and subconsciously I wouldhold on to these condiments
because it was a constantreminder.
So I held on to this grief orthis um sorrow about my father,
and uh, I'm still in theprocess, and that was five years
ago.
I'm still grieving and stillprocessing the death and also
(06:59):
the lost connection and dealingwith the the type of neglect I'm
dealing with.
SPEAKER_00 (07:05):
But you're actually processing it now.
I'm still processing it, but youare actually processing it, you
know?
SPEAKER_01 (07:11):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:11):
I'm I'm processing it, yeah.
Sort of doing something and nowbeing aware of it, but you're
you're working through it now.
SPEAKER_01 (07:18):
Oh, yeah.
It and and the fact that I wasacknowledging it and not
drinking over it, right?
You know, um, that's thebeautiful beautiful part of of
recovery is finding the tools todeal with something.
And the healing part is finallythe the the letting go and being
(07:40):
present of the having that aha,and like all of a sudden your
system is like finally, finally,thank you, uh, for letting that
go.
And then able to help someoneelse in recognizing I know that
sign.
I I can see that you might beholding on to some type of
(08:01):
grief.
SPEAKER_00 (08:02):
Yeah, I you know you are aware, I'm sure deeply aware
that this is not just a thingyou have to accomplish, but it's
a lifetime of of practice.
And these problems that you haveare part of your DNA and you're
wired, it's never gonna go away.
It's like my cancer.
(08:23):
I I have to deal with it for therest of my life.
Even when I have it gone, it'sstill gonna want to come back
and it'll always be looking fora place to come in and and and
and set those bad habits up thatallow it to be.
So, you know, you've you'veacknowledged or accepted the
fact that you know this is mynew life.
I I live this way now.
(08:43):
Yeah.
You you talk a lot about yourart, um, but you didn't really
um kind of clarify about that.
I know you're you're working infilm and and writing.
Yeah.
So why don't you tell us alittle bit about your art?
SPEAKER_01 (08:55):
So um, yeah, thank you.
I I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_00 (09:00):
Um, you know, we're we're gonna go a little long
because we're we're in this.
I don't want to, I don't want tocut it.
I think this is beautiful.
Let's just keep going.
SPEAKER_01 (09:09):
Thank you.
I appreciate the time.
And um, you know, uh so I I do acouple different artistic uh
capabilities I'm creativity isso so important.
All right, the human soul, thehuman body.
We we humans we like to create,we have to create, and my my
(09:32):
source of creation is art.
And I I paint uh abstractpainting, and I I also work with
leather, so I create that way.
And also my new adventures areuh uh ironically, playwriting
slash uh uh filmmaking.
Uh and my new adventure is uhI'm developing a play about
(09:55):
recovery.
SPEAKER_00 (09:56):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (09:57):
And I'm also working on um a couple of short films
right now uh about recovery aswell.
And it it is it's interesting.
Finally, you once you it you'rein your your zone, your clicking
zone, all of a sudden like youryour health issues are it aligns
(10:20):
and it kind of disappears.
Like you don't notice them,right?
You know they're there, right?
But all of a sudden they kind oflike dwindle a little bit.
SPEAKER_00 (10:28):
But they're not such a stark feature that has to be
reckoned with every time.
Like correct, correct.
SPEAKER_01 (10:34):
You can you can now navigate your life, and it's
there, but yeah, you're you knowthey're there, it's just like
they're not they're not presentas much.
Like so, um like this is what Inoticed about health and then
with being lined within yourpassions.
Uh um, so I have an autoimmunedisease, and it's interesting
(10:57):
about autoimmune, allautoimmune, it's it's the root
cause is unknown.
Right.
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (11:04):
But something your body attacks itself.
Okay, great.
SPEAKER_01 (11:07):
Right.
But if you talk to uh uh adoctor and a psychologist, uh
the common denominator istrauma.
Okay, so you get those two thoseprofessions talking together,
they're like, oh wait, yourperson over here that has trauma
and your person are the samepeople that have autoimmune,
(11:28):
okay.
SPEAKER_00 (11:29):
Something about it, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (11:31):
Something about it.
And so if you try to heal thetrauma, and so something reveals
itself.
So I notice when I'm in alignwith my passions, my autoimmune
pain generally softens.
Nice.
And uh when I'm not inalignment, it flares up.
(11:53):
All right, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00 (11:56):
Pretty dramatic.
It's a it's it's a pretty loudvoice talking to you.
SPEAKER_01 (12:00):
It is, it really is.
Like um, I I went to a retreat,a meditation retreat this past
weekend, and we did someharmonation uh meditation
things, and all of a sudden, ifyou're a musician, I used to
sing.
Um I was a music art major whenI first went to college, and we
studied uh the God note a littlebit.
(12:20):
And the God notes is aharmonization note that you
generally cannot produce, it's aharmonization between voices,
and um I produced it within myown chamber of my my vocals.
Wow.
Um, and it was an instant umreminder that um I had to get
(12:42):
back into harmonization ofmyself.
SPEAKER_00 (12:45):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (12:46):
Uh and and it was something that had I I was off
kilter now that this pastweekend was a reminder, like,
okay, I'm on the right path.
SPEAKER_00 (12:56):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (12:57):
You know, so um you had to keep the course straight.
And so if you're in recovery orseeking recovery, it hopefully
you're aware that nudges willget you back on course.
And I'm in that I'm aware ofthese these these nudges, like
(13:22):
I'll give you an example.
This is very so fresh in my liferight now, and I'll tell you.
So as a hairstylist, old career,I'm doubling careers right now,
filmmaker, playwright, andhairstylist.
Yeah, I'm multi-creative,talented.
Um, but as a hairstylist, thenormal health issues are carpal
(13:47):
tunnel, and um I'm developingcarpal tunnel in both hands.
So I'm I'm unable to grasp itcorrectly.
And in the last couple years, uhI've been wanting or thinking I
should move forward into adifferent path, and I've been
(14:08):
unable to step out of it.
Okay.
Now I have no choice to do so.
And either I can fight it or Ican be core, like listen to my
body and be like, okay, this istime.
And I'm not gonna fight itbecause obviously, if I fight
(14:30):
it, I'm gonna have more physicalproblems.
SPEAKER_00 (14:32):
Right, right.
It's one of those things, themore you do, the more it
develops, and the less you cancorrect.
SPEAKER_01 (14:39):
Yeah, and the universe is letting me know,
like God, the universe, it'slike, hey, this is me saying,
go.
Right, right.
That's the thing.
Please.
Yeah, exactly.
So I'm developing this playabout recovery, and uh it is a
passion of mine, and it's it'sdesigned and spread the world of
(15:01):
the spread the world of recoveryto everyone as a commonality um
to make it common and to spreadthe idea that everyone is
addictive, has addictive traits.
And um and it's the introductoryto recovery, and but in an
artistic way.
So I'm really excited aboutthat.
(15:22):
I'm gonna be testing it hereshortly in Los Angeles in
January.
And after that, I'm hoping to mygoal is to hit other cities
after that.
SPEAKER_00 (15:34):
Well, you know, um we have a uh nonprofit called
Gardens of Hope.
Um, nice hours south of LA.
And uh we use our gardens fortherapeutic horticulture and
people overcoming addiction ormental health issues or physical
issues or special needs of anykind, um, education.
(15:58):
We do all those things throughthe gardens.
I would love to uh walk thegardens with you when you come
out this way.
SPEAKER_01 (16:06):
Yeah, um, that'd be awesome.
SPEAKER_00 (16:07):
Maybe we'll record an episode live just uh in
person.
Yeah, I love that.
Well, well, definitely keep thatin mind.
So as you're going through this,you know what I've noticed, many
of our guests they go through aproblem, uh, an obstacle, a
trauma, a calamity, whatever youwant to call it, that thing.
(16:28):
Yours is addiction, mine'scancer, somebody else's is is uh
a disease, whatever it is, itdoesn't matter.
And we decide we're gonnaovercome it.
Overcome it, or we we we find away through it uh as it is, you
know.
Sometimes overcoming it means wewe we live our life with it, but
(16:49):
not being ruled by it or notbeing you know controlled by it.
Um, but generally what I see thepeople that come to this show,
um they find a way to helpothers with it.
And I know you're workingthrough your art.
Is there it like, did you cometo a place where you said, like,
(17:09):
for me, I I made a commitment.
Like I got hit with a you know,basically God jumped in my head
and said, What are you willingto do for this?
And I'm like, whoa, you know,and I'm like, Yeah, I'll do
whatever it takes, you know.
And then ultimately I made acommitment to help anybody I
can, you know, for the rest ofmy life.
And that's my, you know, mycalling.
(17:29):
And you know, that doesn't meanthat's the only thing I do in
life, but but when I seesomebody that needs help, I have
answers.
I know how to find solutions,and and that's now my you know,
a big part of my life.
Did you come to a place likethat or is it just sort of
happening?
SPEAKER_01 (17:45):
Uh you know, it's coming full circle right now,
um, with that whole helpingothers.
I always I always like helpingothers like in helping educate
within the hair, and like evenon set, I like to help others um
and just spreading informationout.
(18:06):
As for uh um um helping anddiscovering uh a recovery as a
whole, um health information,like in behind the chair, I'm
just indulging them withinformation.
It's great, uh I love it.
(18:26):
Um I I just have this intuitionto um I have to do something and
and change for myself or otherpeople to help them.
And and it's a it's a gnawing uheffect, like I'm I'm not
(18:49):
complete unless I'm doing it.
I love it.
If that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00 (18:53):
Yeah yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:55):
Uh and but I'm super, super uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_00 (18:58):
Uh because that's how you know you're doing the
right thing, you know.
You get you're in anuncomfortable place and you do
it anyways.
SPEAKER_01 (19:04):
Yeah, it is it feels unna I mean it's feels natural,
but unnatural at the same time.
Um I'm I'm not a social mediaperson, and and it it's a hard
battle between like, oh, I needto be on social media, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
I'm like, but I don't want to beon it.
Right, uh but I realize uh youhave to make yourself stand in
(19:30):
front of it.
But um as for helping others,discovering even the hardest
scenarios of cancer or divorceor a loss of loved one, there
are ways to go through it, andgoing through it alone is the
(19:50):
wrong way.
SPEAKER_00 (19:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (19:52):
Because I've been through it alone.
SPEAKER_00 (19:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (19:55):
Uh, except for cancer.
I have not gone through cancer.
SPEAKER_00 (19:58):
You never will, because you won't uh be able to
be on that carnivore dietanymore.
SPEAKER_01 (20:03):
I've been told that, yeah.
Yeah, like uh, but any majortrauma situation, you always
feel like you're always alone.
Yeah, but that it's really nottrue.
Any spiritual practices thatthat that are out there, it's
they teach you it's never you'renever alone.
SPEAKER_00 (20:25):
Oh fellowship, community, and and connection.
SPEAKER_01 (20:28):
Yeah, it's always that's always, always, always
important.
So wherever you're at, you know,whatever the the situation is,
there is a community.
That's the beautiful thing aboutsocial media now.
Right.
And and what you're doing,you're creating a space for
people to seek help.
SPEAKER_00 (20:46):
The point of all of this is building a community,
you know, that a listener canplop in and go through, you
know, 300 episodes and findsomething that connects with
them and listen to them and go,Oh, wow, look, there's somebody
else that shares this thing withme.
And you know, usually there's away to reach out to that person
or or find their way.
I love it.
SPEAKER_01 (21:07):
Yeah.
It's awesome.
So, like the the the play I'mdeveloping that I wrote, it it's
it it's it's a it's a platformand a it's a play about a
recovering meeting.
Okay.
And you you you follow astoryline of a female and a
villain that happens in front ofyou, but it's a organization, a
(21:29):
group of people that have lifeproblems, and they have they
they have a place where theyseek refuge, and from addiction
to a death to a divorce, to anyother any elements uh problems,
and they just have a safe placeto come to and just be
like-minded health.
(21:50):
That that that's all it is.
Okay, uh, and I just give it aplace for that, and it's
interactive, inner immersivetype of play.
So my audience members will be apart of the play.
And so the goal is my audiencemembers hopefully will plant a
little seed for the future.
So if they have a problem,they'll be like, Oh, I have a
(22:12):
problem subconsciously, like, ohyeah, that play.
Like, oh wait, da da da andda-da-da-da-da.
Yeah, so um, that's the goal.
SPEAKER_00 (22:22):
So you're talking about January, maybe uh yes,
yeah.
So I start showing.
SPEAKER_01 (22:28):
Yep, I I'm in the middle um in submission of
castings right now.
Uh uh January 4th through thethrough the 10th is my I have
two nights, but that's the roughweek that I'm testing it.
And after that, uh back to thedrawing board to readjust.
(22:49):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_00 (22:49):
Then after that, um maybe by next summer something
will be uh somewhere to be seen,huh?
SPEAKER_01 (22:57):
Oh well, 100%.
I have my one-year goal is gonnabe there is a festival in
Scotland.
I'm I'm gonna be going toScotland with it.
So for this one year, I'm gonnabe hitting some major cities
throughout.
SPEAKER_00 (23:14):
So that's exciting.
Well, I hope you uh film thething as well.
SPEAKER_01 (23:19):
And I no, I yeah, I'm I'm gonna be shooting it as
well uh to help get some fundingso I can travel with it as well.
So yeah, I'm a filmmaker.
Of course I'm gonna film it.
SPEAKER_00 (23:31):
I would say, yeah, it seems like a natural uh oh
yeah, yeah.
Well, listen, Severn, I I I amexcited about the doing, and I
would love to help you promotethis any way that I can.
So feel free to stay in touch.
And I will I can always, as youhave a link to share, I can put
that into your show notes.
You know, the thing about thisis once we publish it, it's out
(23:54):
there.
Yeah, and so we can makeadditions and and and you know,
tweak the show notes to toreflect some upcoming.
And also, if you've got somemore to talk about, we can
always come back and do anotherepisode.
Yeah, love to.
Wonderful, wonderful.
Well, listen.
I appreciate you.
I think I'm gonna break thisinto two episodes because people
(24:15):
have a little short attentionspan, and uh we'll get more
listeners doing it that way tolisten to it.
SPEAKER_01 (24:22):
Yeah, yeah.
You do you.
It's all good, my friend.
SPEAKER_00 (24:24):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Well, I just really want tothank you for uh sharing your
story with us.
And I I think um this is soaligned with what we're doing as
a not only as a podcast, butwith my nonprofit and the
community we're building.
So I want to welcome you to thefamily.
SPEAKER_01 (24:40):
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
You your your movement is verypowerful for other people that
are seeking for help.
So uh it's it's an honor to be apart of it.
SPEAKER_00 (24:50):
Beautiful.
And it do you have any sort ofcontact information if somebody
wants to connect with you insome way?
SPEAKER_01 (24:56):
Uh I'm pretty simple to find uh severinlang.com or
severinlang um on Instagram.
Um Severn Lang, you can find methere.
Yeah, perfect.
I appreciate you, Ann.
Is there anything?
Uh yeah, so I'd love to connectdefinitely.
SPEAKER_00 (25:18):
And you know, if you just had a 20-second elevator
pitch to share with ourlisteners, what would that look
like?
SPEAKER_01 (25:26):
Yeah, so um so in recovery, we we have this this
thing called sponsors.
And my late one of my sponsorspassed away.
Uh, and I'm wanting to spreadhis word around.
Uh Matthew Perry was my sponsor.
He passed away not too long ago.
(25:48):
And his nugget for myself tokeep me aligned a lot when I'm
in the my darkest period is uhtwo things.
If you feel like you're gonnarelapse or use um with one of
your isms, go have a milkshake.
If you're gonna feel after thatone milkshake, if you feel like
you're gonna use or drink, gohave another milkshake.
(26:10):
That's one yeah, one that solvesa lot of problems, yeah.
Yeah, right.
But uh the biggest one was uhsobriety is easy.
All you have to do is don't useor drink, okay.
Your ism, your your addiction.
unknown (26:28):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_01 (26:28):
Um, go to meetings, meaning community and be nice.
I love it.
But that last one is hard.
SPEAKER_00 (26:36):
Yeah, yeah.
Be loving.
That's the whole key toeverything in life, right?
SPEAKER_01 (26:40):
You can be nice.
It's easy to be nice toeveryone, yeah.
But be nice to yourself is thehardest one.
I hear so be nice to yourself.
And and after that, it's easy.
Wonderful.
SPEAKER_00 (26:52):
Well, Severin, again, it's been an absolute uh
treat to to share this with you.
And uh for our listeners, thishas been another episode of the
Healthy Living Podcast.
And I want to thank you all foruh making this show possible,
and we will see you next week.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.