December 12, 2024 • 31 mins
Turning your pain into your passion, purpose and even profession is possible. Just ask mental health graduate student and intern Emily Barbosa. Court-mandated therapy as a teenager sparked her interest in psychology and sociology. That lead Emily to pursue a career dedicated to helping others understand their own traumas to triumphs. If going into the field of therapy and mental health interests you, this inspiring conversation will have you exploring the field in new ways. Emily shares the importance of empathy and education in mental health careers. She opens up to Hilary about her work-life balance ritual as both a student and counseling professional. Plus practical advice from fresh eyes on how to be kind to your mind.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Emily Barbosa (00:06):
I just remember, like a light bulb going
off, like, oh like, tell me more, what?
What did you say about this psychologist?
What about the chemicals in the brain?
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me.
And then our therapy sessions just became
very educational and I loved it and it just
lit up so many avenues for me.
And I remember getting so excited to take a
(00:28):
psychology course next semester and I took
a sociology course and it was like I found
my jam.
Hilary Russo (00:34):
What do you want to be when you grow up?
How many times have you asked somebody that
question or somebody has asked you that
question in the course of your life?
I have to say it's probably happened to me
many times and I myself have made numerous
pivots, as anybody who's been watching or
tuning into HIListically Speaking knows.
I mean, my career started as a journalist
(00:55):
and I moved into the field of mental health
and I have to say I'm continuing to learn
and grow, and I'm sure you are too.
But when you ask yourself that question,
and in this age where we are seeing more
people aligning with their emotional
well-being, their mental health, that seems
to be a question that leads to an answer.
I want to help people, I want to serve and
(01:18):
what a beautiful place to be.
And as someone who has also been a college
professor for a number of years working
with students a lot of those that age range
of 18 to 22, many have been coming back to
me saying how can I get into this field of
mental health?
And people reaching out, even wanting to
pivot, asking that question too, and I
(01:39):
thought you know what would be better than
to have somebody who is on that journey
themselves, who is in that early part of
their career and has made that commitment
and that choice to serve, to be in the
field of mental health and to just make the
world a better place.
So that is why I have Emily Barbosa joining
me today on HIListically Speaking.
(02:00):
Emily, you and I have had some time to chit
chat together.
I've been so fortunate to be on your
podcast, a Safe Place to Land, and we
really realized there was synergy there.
Whether you are in this career at an early
part of your life or coming into it later,
there's definitely a synergy of wanting to
serve and help others, and I would love for
(02:22):
you to share your journey to inspire others
who might be considering this as well.
So thanks for being here on HIListically
Speaking, returning the favor to you, my
dear Absolutely yes.
Emily Barbosa (02:32):
Thank you so much for having me.
It's been so wonderful getting to know you
and work with you, and I'm super excited to
share a little bit more about my journey.
I would say my therapy journey kind of
began when I was about 16 years old.
I unfortunately came from a very broken
home environment and didn't really realize
the situation I was in until I got older
(02:53):
and started noticing like okay, this is not
normal how my parents are acting and what
we're going through.
And so it definitely has deeply impacted me
as I've gotten older, especially in my
dating relationships, and I've been kind of
trying to undo what has been done
throughout my childhood.
(03:13):
And so when I was 16, I was actually court
mandated to go to therapy because of what
was going on at home.
And I'm thinking like you want me to go
into this room and talk to this man about
everything that's been going on.
He's not going to understand what I'm going
through.
Like I don't want to do this.
I felt so just uncomfortable with the whole
(03:34):
thing.
I remember seeing him and he was very nice
and I was like let me give him the benefit
of the doubt, I'll just give it a chance.
And so I go in and I'm just venting about
what's been going on, and he was just so
understanding and so empathetic and he just
made me feel so seen.
And I remember just asking him questions
(03:54):
like I don't understand why my parents act
this way.
Is there something wrong with me, like.
And he just made me feel like you're just a
kid, like you're just a kid, like you're
just a kid and there's nothing that you're
doing and the choices that these adults are
making around you have nothing to do with
you and everything to do with them.
And he just kind of explained to me like
Maslow's hierarchy of needs and all these
(04:16):
different things, and it's like this is
where your parents are at.
They can't think about how they're
impacting you emotionally or relationally,
they're really just on survival mode,
making not the best decisions right now.
And I just remember like a light bulb going
off, like, oh, like, tell me more.
What did you say about this psychologist?
What about the chemicals in the brain?
(04:37):
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me.
And then our therapy sessions just became
very educational and I loved it and it just
lit up so many avenues for me.
And I remember getting so excited to take a
psychology course next semester and I took
a sociology course and it was like I found
my jam, like I was always decent at school,
(04:57):
but there wasn't really anything that I
felt like really just connected with me and
I just fell in love with these classes.
I was so interested in it and, you know,
very quickly I knew like I want to do this,
like I want to tell people about this.
This has helped me so much and people need
to know this, like other kids need to know
(05:18):
this, like you're not your parents, like
you're not doomed it's.
There's so much more.
There's an explanation behind all of this.
There's science behind all of this.
This is so enlightening and so I was just
kind of like lit on fire from the beginning
and I was very fortunate to get a track and
field scholarship and I went and got my
(05:38):
undergrad degree at North Greenville
University super small school.
I wanted to go to a big school for so long
and it just didn't work out.
Those doors did not open for me.
But you know, kind of just following my
path and it was such a great experience and
I just learned so much and my professors
just loved us and cared for us so much.
(06:01):
On, like a more deeper level.
I will say that is the benefit of going to
a smaller school Lots of one on one time
and I got to just open up more about my, my
situation and where I'm at and when I was
struggling, and they just saw me and guided
me and held my hand through it and just
every time I wanted to quit, they were just
right there, like no, like I don't know.
(06:22):
It's like they saw something in me that I
couldn't see and just yeah, just kept
encouraging me.
Hilary Russo (06:29):
I love that you mentioned that they saw
something that you didn't see in the moment
and I say that a lot with my clients.
I'll say my job is not to change you, fix
you, heal you.
Anything like that is to help you see parts
of you that perhaps you aren't seeing
yourself in the moment because you're in it
and sometimes you just need a guide by your
side to process some of that with you.
(06:49):
But in the long run, you're the one finding
the resolve, you're the one finding the
answer.
That's how you build resiliency and
everything you're sharing.
As someone who is a graduate student going
into the therapy field also, you're already
working in the field as a graduate student,
so you're seeing firsthand learning from
doing right, which is so important.
I would imagine that this is something
(07:10):
where knowing that you're able to help
others and give them possibilities that
perhaps you didn't have at an earlier age,
but they can make different choices now
with the knowledge that you're sharing with
them Is that right?
Emily Barbosa (07:26):
Yeah, that's like pretty much.
It to a T is just kind of like everything
that I've been through and all of the
knowledge that's been passed down to me and
my experiences.
I like to meet people wherever they're at
and just kind of show them all the
different extra, you know, paths that they
can go down and perspectives that they can
go down and just also share about me and
(07:47):
we've talked about this therapist, not
super open about their personal lives or
sharing.
I think that's one of my superpowers.
I connect very deeply with my clients.
I do self disclose a little bit more,
especially if I feel like they are afraid
to open up.
If they say things like I'm the only one
who's gone through this, I feel so they are
afraid to open up.
If they say things like I'm the only one
who's gone through this or I feel so alone
(08:08):
through this, and I like, hey, me, yeah,
I've been, I've actually been there, or I
know someone who's been there.
You are not alone and it's so powerful I
can just see their faces.
They're like what?
Hilary Russo (08:21):
Like it's not just me Right, we're human
and you're right, we did talk about that
and I love that you're touching on that,
because the days of just being that
therapist on the couch that's taking notes
like tell me about your feelings, and the
person can feel judged, like they're being
monitored or assessed, rather than having a
conversation and experience and a
(08:43):
connection with their therapist, and you're
that new age of therapy which I love seeing
and I choose to be like that as well.
But that's a totally different relationship
and of course, it's not sharing all of your
stuff, but it's allowing that person that
you're holding space for to know that
you're human too and you've got stuff 100%.
Emily Barbosa (09:06):
I think it would be difficult for me to go
to a therapist who's never been in therapy
before.
That would just be difficult to connect on
that level.
And you know they do teach us in school.
The best results come from the connection.
It doesn't matter the theory, it doesn't
matter the interventions, it's how much
does this person trust you, how deep are
(09:26):
they willing to go with you?
Do you guys have a good rapport and I find
that me being myself is the best way to do
that.
And I didn't know what to say.
I didn't know what to wear.
I'm like, who am I supposed to be?
(09:49):
I was like I was hearing my supervisor's
lines and I was getting all jumbled up,
trying to like get them to come out right.
And then finally I was just like Emily, be
yourself, Be yourself.
Like if they like you, they like you, and
if they don't, they don't.
But you got to be yourself, because you're
playing mental gymnastics right now and you
didn't even listen to like half the things
(10:10):
that they just said, because you're so
freaked out right now.
And once I just kind of gave myself
permission to just be human and be Emily,
everything just kind of felt better.
Hilary Russo (10:14):
Yeah you know, and you can't be everything
to everyone.
You know that's, that's a conversation I
think we're seeing people have more and
more, especially in the coaching and
therapeutic world, because there's so many
coaches out there online.
There's so many people that are sharing how
they can help you on your healing journey,
some of which are, you know, maybe not so
authentic.
(10:35):
Hopefully, more of those who do share are,
I think, where you're going with being the
true self that you are, is where you're
going to align with people, and there will
be people that come to you because they see
you and the authentic person you are Human.
Human first, before the job title Human
(10:55):
first.
Yeah, yeah, yes, absolutely yeah.
Emily Barbosa (10:58):
And I love working with attachment IFS,
inner child work, you know, working through
all of these limiting beliefs.
And there was a book that I read that
actually one of my professors gave to me,
and it was called Personality Isn't
Permanent by Benjamin Hardy, and I love
Benjamin.
Hardy books, it's so good and it just, oh
(11:22):
my god, that was one of the catalysts to me
working through my trauma and it just gave
me such a different perspective of I can be
whoever I want to be.
I can walk into a room and introduce myself
as hi, I'm Emily, I'm a therapist, I love
running, I live in St Pete, I have my dog,
kylo.
Instead of like, hi, my name is Emily, and
(11:43):
like I was abused as a child and I have all
this trauma and I'm broken and like I'm
doomed.
Because that's how I felt for so long.
I felt like people could look at me and see
that like I'm broken and that there was
something wrong with me.
Hilary Russo (11:57):
That's a really good point because I think
in this day and age, trauma has become a
buzzword everywhere.
In this day and age, trauma has become a
buzzword everywhere and, while we have the
big T's and the little t's, it's
encouraging people that, yes, we have
trauma and it probably doesn't ever go away.
It's building a relationship with it,
understanding it and being able to say that
(12:22):
this thing happened but it's not happening
right, and build that love and that
relationship with that part of ourselves
that we're able to cultivate a new,
healthier relationship with ourselves.
Really, it's about healing parts of
ourselves more than trying to change anyone
else.
Yes, yes, I love what you said of building
a relationship with that part.
Emily Barbosa (12:40):
Yes, yes, I love what you said of like
building a relationship with that part,
because for so long I think I hated that
part of myself that felt abandonment and
shame and guilt and embarrassment, like I
didn't like her, and it was hard for me to
have empathy for her and to work through
(13:01):
that.
I just hated it so much and I hated that it
happened and there was a lot of acceptance
that needed to happen for me to get there.
And that book just helped me see that I
actually am in control of the rest of my
life and I can take responsibility for my
future.
I can let this stuff go and how I remember
it and perceive it and tell the story.
It's really just narrative therapy.
(13:22):
The whole book is like narrative therapy
and just rewrite your story.
Like how do you want to introduce yourself?
Who do you want to be in the future?
Like I want to be a business owner one day.
I want to write books.
I want to do TED talks.
I want to make an impact.
I want to be a successful woman in this
industry.
Hilary Russo (13:38):
Yeah, and maybe changing the word, to
change the word to.
I will.
Emily Barbosa (13:42):
I will, yeah, I will, I am you are right,
it's the I am.
Hilary Russo (13:46):
I'm here A little coaching while we're
doing our interview here, because you're in
that process and I.
The one reason why I loved our connection
is because I see parts of myself in you and
where I was at your age, but I don't think
we were talking about so much of mental
health.
I was at your age but I don't think we were
talking about so much of mental health
(14:06):
publicly and openly when I was in my 20s.
And so when I am with my students or anyone
that's in their 20s, navigating through
life, trying to figure out where they're
going to go next, I get so excited because
I'm like, oh my gosh, they are so much
further ahead than I was when I was in my
20s because we didn't have these
conversations.
So it's empowering to hear someone who is
(14:29):
just starting out on this journey, really
in a career, really choosing to be the
architect of their own life.
And especially, I get even more jazzed when
I know that they want to go into this field,
because there's so much we can do to create
a community, a world where a collective,
where we're helping each other on this
(14:50):
process, you know and it's exciting.
So I'm just excited for you because I know
it's, it's, it's the journey that's just in
process and it's beautiful.
So I want to stop and just mention.
I do want to just say that you are offering
a 15 minute consultation with folks and
this is a really great opportunity for
people to see what it's like to actually
(15:12):
work with someone who is just starting out
or someone who you know.
You have your own story to share.
You're not just starting out in life, you
have life experiences.
But Emily's graciously offering a 15 minute
consultation to see if you align with her
and I do have a lot of younger folks that
do listen to this podcast that tune into
this podcast and maybe there's an alignment
(15:34):
there because you really are building a
relationship with someone.
So happily we'll share that in the podcast
notes.
Also just want to mention you have this
beautiful podcast, a Safe Place to Land,
that you have given me some space to share
and I appreciate that We'll put all that in
the podcast notes as well.
And, if this is something that resonates
with you, if you want to have a
conversation just with Emily about what it
(15:54):
might be like to start that journey, to
look into the field of mental health, to
maybe go on to a graduate degree or even an
undergraduate degree, learn more about
psychology, you're offering that as well
that 15 minutes could be any type of
conversation, right.
Emily Barbosa (16:09):
Absolutely, absolutely, and it's for anyone.
I work with 16 and up, all ages.
I enjoy working with different populations,
ages and, yeah, anybody who's interested in
therapy.
Or, again, if you do have any questions
about you know, just needing, like, a guide
or a mentor, like, please feel free to
(16:30):
reach out.
I would be more than happy to share my
experiences along the way, for sure.
Hilary Russo (16:35):
So let me ask you this don't kind of pivot
a little bit If you weren't going into
therapy and it seems like something that's
kind of been on the trajectory for a while
Is there another career field that Emily
would have preferred or thought about?
Emily Barbosa (16:49):
I mean I wanted to be a professor, but I
feel like that's still on the same track.
So if we're completely just like diverting
from this, I wanted to be an actress for a
really long time.
I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't like a theater
kid, but like I wanted to be a Disney
Channel girly for a while.
Hilary Russo (17:06):
So yeah put me on the stage, so I would
have thought about that anyway, and you and
I met at that podcasting meetup and I was
like wondering if you had an acting
background, because there's just such an
energy and a positive light about you.
Nothing says you can't do that.
Nothing says you can't incorporate elements
of what it's like it's never too late.
It's never too late, it's never too late.
And the idea of being a professor, by the
(17:26):
way, when I became a professor, I did not
have it on my radar at all.
I was somebody reached out to me from the
university at St John's in New York and
said hey, we would love to offer you an
opportunity to teach.
And I thought it was a joke.
Emily, I thought it was a joke.
(17:50):
I was like who's pranking me?
Because I didn't put in any resumes for
that.
But they like a lot of universities now and
I felt like I learned more from my adjuncts
than I was an adjunct for 12 years.
Learn from those who are in the field,
doing what they're doing, rather than just
sitting in an office, which there's value
to that too but says somewhere down the
line you can't be professor Barbosa right,
yeah, like that.
Emily Barbosa (18:08):
Oh, dr Barbosa, I love it.
Hilary Russo (18:10):
I like that even more, going on for your
PhD.
Is that something that's in your, in your
future?
You want to go on for a PhD.
Emily Barbosa (18:18):
You know it's definitely out there.
I'm coming to the end of my master's and so
the thought of enrolling into another
program makes me crazy, but I will say so.
I wanted to be a professor.
I wanted to share all this knowledge and my
passion for all of this and make a huge
impact, especially on young people.
(18:43):
Be a counselor for a while, have the
experience and then go and teach, because
my favorite professors were the ones who
had all the stories about seeing clients
and telling me all about like the real
action.
I loved it.
I was like let me get my popcorn.
I'm like eating this up.
I didn't think I was going to like it.
I thought it was going to be too much work
and I thought it was going to just be a
very burnt out.
Everyone kept saying that you're going to
get burnt out.
You're going to get burnt out, have a
(19:03):
backup plan.
And so I was like, okay, fine, I'll go be a
therapist and then I'll go back and teach.
Well, I love it and it's exactly where I'm
supposed to be and I can see myself staying
for a long time.
And I'm very fortunate to have found, you
know, a private practice this early in my
(19:25):
career, because I have work-life balance.
I don't have to see 30 clients a week and
work nine to five in an office with no
windows.
I have beautiful windows and I'm on the
water and it's lovely and I'm very
supported and they do everything they can
to help me not get burnt out, and so I can
see a very fruitful and long career with
therapy.
And I think there's other opportunities to
teach, whether it be seminars or webinars
(19:49):
or podcasts or speaking at different things,
and so I think there's still opportunity to
teach without me having to be in the
classroom.
But you know, like you've said, careers
change all the time.
People change all the time.
Who knows where I will end up down the road?
I'm very young in this position and so if I
(20:09):
feel you know, research is something that
is something I want to get into, yeah, I
could definitely see myself going back to
school, and I do want to give a shout out
to the counseling center, where you do work,
because having that first opportunity is
really important.
Hilary Russo (20:21):
So you are with Sunshine City Counseling.
You do work, because having that first
opportunity is really important.
So you are with Sunshine City Counseling.
You're in Florida.
What city in Florida are you in South St
Pete?
Yeah, okay, south St Pete.
So you're down there.
You have this great view.
Amazing, not everybody has that.
Do you also see clients virtually within
Florida?
Can you do that, or are you mostly in
person?
Emily Barbosa (20:36):
I would say it's about half and half.
Yeah, I would say lots of virtual, lots of
in person.
Um, and yeah, as long as you're in the
state of Florida, we can serve you.
Hilary Russo (20:46):
So let me.
I want to talk to you about something you
just mentioned and that is not having to
see 30 clients a day, because I think in
this field it's very common to get burned
out, with patient by patient and patient
after patient and not really taking care of
your own emotional wellbeing.
(21:08):
Also, the idea of um compassion, compassion
fatigue, vicarious trauma, secondary
traumatic stress, which is something I talk
about a lot that's my main thing to talk
about, because I understand what that's
like from outside of this field, being a
journalist.
So what do you do to protect your own
emotional well-being when you're seeing
clients and dealing with some really
personal situations?
What is that like for you?
Emily Barbosa (21:26):
It's definitely something I'm still trying
to learn and balance.
I'm definitely haven't had I don't have it
figured out, but I am trying to be mindful
about conserving my energy and so, like for
example, this week, tuesday and Wednesday
were super heavy days, so lots of people
had a couple session.
(21:46):
That was very long and deep and it was
weighing on me a lot, and so on Thursday I
didn't have any clients, but I was supposed
to get some other things done and like I
just couldn't, like my brain wasn't and I
was like you know what?
I can't, my body's telling me that I can't.
(22:07):
I need to listen to my body and I need to
respect this, and so I just lounged around
and relaxed, saw some friends, got some
fresh air, because that's what I needed and
it's just not getting angry at myself if I
can't perform constantly and if I do need a
break.
Hilary Russo (22:14):
That's really good, Not beating yourself up.
If you're not taking care of your own
emotional well-being, how in the world can
you show up for others?
So to understand that now and see that now
is creating that space for a much stronger
therapist.
Emily Barbosa (22:27):
Really, you know someone who understands
what they need for themselves Like your own
needs matter first, yeah 100%, and I got
very burnt out towards the end of undergrad.
Like so bad because I was full-time student.
I was a full-time athlete and I was waiting
tables on the weekend to try to get by, and
so there was not even a moment of rest.
(22:49):
It was constant go, go, go and it literally
got to the point where, like I couldn't do
it anymore and I had to quit the team, like
right before I graduated.
I then was just balancing the other two,
still got burnt out.
I ended up having to quit my job and like I
had to just like flee over to Florida and
be with my family, because I was like I
(23:11):
have nothing left to give right now and I
was so close to dropping out.
I was like I can't, like I'm like crawling
on the ground, like there's just no way.
It was just like absolute and total burnout.
People just come into your life when
they're supposed to, and there was this
wonderful girl who was in class with me and
she saw me struggling and she was just like
I want to help you, like you're so close
and you're so awesome, and like don't do
(23:31):
this.
I was like wait, like do you want to be my
friend?
And she just kind of helped me where I was
struggling.
I was struggling with statistics.
Who would have thought you know?
Hilary Russo (23:41):
I did that too.
I hardly made it past my my graduate
program in statistics.
I was like, why are we doing this?
Emily Barbosa (23:48):
I just want to talk to people geez, I'm not
running stats.
Um, I know, I know I like couldn't get it
figured out and she was just so helpful and
she just kind of, you know, and this will
be a lifelong friend, forever, just such an
angel to come in and see me and help me and
get me through and like I again, like
there's, there's going to be moments where
(24:09):
you think this is it, like it's not going
to happen.
And it did, and I got through and I
graduated and I'm very grateful for her,
and I learned in that moment that there is
a limit and if I continue to say yes to
everything, I will reach that burnout.
And that was one of the scariest things I
have ever experienced and I do not want to
(24:29):
go there again.
And so I'm going to conserve my energy, I'm
going to take breaks, I'm going to take
naps, I'm going to watch Love Island and
eat snacks, because I deserve it, because
I'm taking on a lot, I'm seeing people, I'm
hearing a lot of things and I have to have
room to process and relax, because, yes,
I'm not physically on my feet, but I am
(24:50):
emotionally drained and I need to rest.
Hilary Russo (24:53):
So good that you understand that.
What's your favorite way?
Well, you mentioned a lot of them.
Do you have a favorite way to self-care?
Emily Barbosa (24:59):
Yeah, right now it's definitely like
snuggling with my puppy, watching Love
Island, eating popcorn and just like just
rotting and like just chilling and we call
it bed rotting.
That's like a Gen Z thing.
So we bed rot and I give myself permission
to do that and it's almost like I need that,
just like to just turn off my brain and
(25:20):
then, once I have a little bit more energy,
I love running, I love taking my dog to the
dog park, I love being with my friends.
That's huge.
Just spending time with friends and family
getting outside is just so big.
I need to be in the sun.
Hilary Russo (25:35):
Yeah, there's so many ways that we can
self-regulate for self-care, you know,
incorporating different tools and tactics
and putting them in what I call the brain
candy jar, and you and I we talked about
that when you invited me on your show and
shared more about Havening and how that's a
really beautiful modality and thank you so
much for that opportunity to share it with
you.
It is just such a joy to have you here to
(25:57):
be able to share.
And I just want to mention again to those
tuning in if you know somebody even you
might be much older already doing what
you're doing, maybe you're pivoting, maybe
you have a child or a student that's
interested in getting into neuroscience or
therapy or mental health in some way,
whatever it might be that 15 minutes that
(26:18):
Emily is offering as an opportunity to just
have a conversation and kick back and have
answers to your questions or just have
somebody hold space for you in that moment
and then see where it goes.
And, of course, if you need further support
in this area, emily is providing that too
through her therapy practice working with
the Sunshine City, and you know there's so
many, so many opportunities to connect.
(26:40):
So I'm really elated to have you here and
just be able to share.
Do you want to play a little game?
Oh my gosh, yes, let's do it.
Amazing Part of my podcast is rapid fire.
This is an opportunity for you to come back
with the first word that comes to mind do a
little brain candy work up there.
You know a little brain gaming.
It's word association.
So I've been writing down some words you've
(27:01):
been saying and what I want you to do is
just come back with one word like rapid
Okay, you ready to play?
Okay, let's do it.
Let's do it.
All right, here we go.
Therapy, counseling, neuroscience, brain
Professor, teacher, Energy, fast Connection,
love, divorce, heartbreak, trauma, pain,
(27:28):
graduate Me yeah, love it.
We're going to end on that.
I'm just like I know you're looking ahead
at what is about to happen, like all this
awesome stuff coming into your space.
What a joy having you.
You're such a light.
I'm not putting I'm not putting artists and
(27:48):
actor outside the realm of possibility
because, honestly, that means so many
different things.
As someone that comes from that background
as well, you could be using that just in
your social media or sharing or even in the
space with those that you are supporting,
seeing that light that you have and that
energy, but being true to who you are and
no doubt that that is something that you
(28:10):
are putting out there already.
Emily Barbosa (28:12):
So, oh my gosh, thank you so much, HIlary,
you're so sweet.
Hilary Russo (28:15):
You're adorable.
I love you, I absolutely adore you.
All right, so final words that you might
want to share with HIListically Speaking
listeners anything you would like for those
who are tuning in, whether it's on YouTube,
on the YouTube channel or anywhere where
they are tuning in.
What do you want to tell them?
Emily Barbosa (28:31):
I just want to say like thank you so much
for listening, and I know that the idea of
going to therapy if you've never been
before can be extremely scary and it can
feel as though the person won't understand
you.
But I just want to remind you that, even if
someone experienced the exact same thing
that you went through, they're going to
experience it differently and different
mentors, therapists, coaches they're all
(28:52):
going to have different insights and you
can take what you want and you can leave
what you don't, but you're going to
continue to grow through that process and
so, if you're thinking about it, I just
want to encourage you to go for it.
Hilary Russo (29:12):
And so, if you're thinking about it, I just
want to encourage you to go for it and I
just want to support you along that way,
because you know there are people there
that want to hear you and help you and
support.
They need your services.
Or we learn from each other, like we learn
from each other in this world.
It's all gonna be there for you Absolutely.
Plus.
Look, you're this new podcaster and I love
working with my fellow podcasters too, so
(29:33):
hopefully I'll get to see you soon and
we'll be able to connect on that level,
absolutely.
All right, thank you so much for being here
and just being part of this.
Emily Barbosa (29:40):
Thank you for having me.
Hilary Russo (29:42):
All right, sunshine.
You heard it from Emily.
If you want to reach out to her, she is
inviting you to have a 15-minute
conversation with her.
All the links you need to connect with her,
be it on social media or on her website,
are in the notes of this podcast episode.
And, of course, if you're interested in
learning more about havening techniques
whether it is being supported and working
with me personally, or maybe you're on the
(30:03):
journey as a therapist or a practitioner a
doctor, nurse, first responder I offer
trainings to get certified in havening
techniques.
All of that information, whether you are
needing support and you want to do
one-to-one work with me or in group, or
bring me into your organization or possibly
get certified in havening, you'll find all
of that in the links of this podcast
(30:24):
episode as well.
And if this episode touched, moved and
inspired you in any way, consider paying it
forward.
Pass it along to just one person.
It could make a difference in their lives.
And, of course, consider leaving a rating
or review wherever you're tuning into this
podcast, because it could put it in the
hands and in the ears of somebody who needs
(30:44):
to hear it more than ever right now.
HIListically Speaking is edited by Two
Market Media, with music by Lipbone Redding
and, of course, supported by you, and I
couldn't do it without you.
So, thank you, I appreciate you more than
you know and, on that note, remember you
are always supported, you are always heard
and there is always someone that is there
(31:04):
to listen.
And let you know that you can be kind to
your mind.
I love you, I believe in you and I'm
sending hugs your way.
Be well.
I just remember, like a light bulb going
off, like, oh like, tell me more, what?
What did you say about this psychologist?
What about the chemicals in the brain?
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me.
And then our therapy sessions just became
very educational and I loved it and it just
lit up so many avenues for me.
And I remember getting so excited to take a
(00:28):
psychology course next semester and I took
a sociology course and it was like I found
my jam.
Hilary Russo (00:34):
What do you want to be when you grow up?
How many times have you asked somebody that
question or somebody has asked you that
question in the course of your life?
I have to say it's probably happened to me
many times and I myself have made numerous
pivots, as anybody who's been watching or
tuning into HIListically Speaking knows.
I mean, my career started as a journalist
(00:55):
and I moved into the field of mental health
and I have to say I'm continuing to learn
and grow, and I'm sure you are too.
But when you ask yourself that question,
and in this age where we are seeing more
people aligning with their emotional
well-being, their mental health, that seems
to be a question that leads to an answer.
I want to help people, I want to serve and
(01:18):
what a beautiful place to be.
And as someone who has also been a college
professor for a number of years working
with students a lot of those that age range
of 18 to 22, many have been coming back to
me saying how can I get into this field of
mental health?
And people reaching out, even wanting to
pivot, asking that question too, and I
(01:39):
thought you know what would be better than
to have somebody who is on that journey
themselves, who is in that early part of
their career and has made that commitment
and that choice to serve, to be in the
field of mental health and to just make the
world a better place.
So that is why I have Emily Barbosa joining
me today on HIListically Speaking.
(02:00):
Emily, you and I have had some time to chit
chat together.
I've been so fortunate to be on your
podcast, a Safe Place to Land, and we
really realized there was synergy there.
Whether you are in this career at an early
part of your life or coming into it later,
there's definitely a synergy of wanting to
serve and help others, and I would love for
(02:22):
you to share your journey to inspire others
who might be considering this as well.
So thanks for being here on HIListically
Speaking, returning the favor to you, my
dear Absolutely yes.
Emily Barbosa (02:32):
Thank you so much for having me.
It's been so wonderful getting to know you
and work with you, and I'm super excited to
share a little bit more about my journey.
I would say my therapy journey kind of
began when I was about 16 years old.
I unfortunately came from a very broken
home environment and didn't really realize
the situation I was in until I got older
(02:53):
and started noticing like okay, this is not
normal how my parents are acting and what
we're going through.
And so it definitely has deeply impacted me
as I've gotten older, especially in my
dating relationships, and I've been kind of
trying to undo what has been done
throughout my childhood.
(03:13):
And so when I was 16, I was actually court
mandated to go to therapy because of what
was going on at home.
And I'm thinking like you want me to go
into this room and talk to this man about
everything that's been going on.
He's not going to understand what I'm going
through.
Like I don't want to do this.
I felt so just uncomfortable with the whole
(03:34):
thing.
I remember seeing him and he was very nice
and I was like let me give him the benefit
of the doubt, I'll just give it a chance.
And so I go in and I'm just venting about
what's been going on, and he was just so
understanding and so empathetic and he just
made me feel so seen.
And I remember just asking him questions
(03:54):
like I don't understand why my parents act
this way.
Is there something wrong with me, like.
And he just made me feel like you're just a
kid, like you're just a kid, like you're
just a kid and there's nothing that you're
doing and the choices that these adults are
making around you have nothing to do with
you and everything to do with them.
And he just kind of explained to me like
Maslow's hierarchy of needs and all these
(04:16):
different things, and it's like this is
where your parents are at.
They can't think about how they're
impacting you emotionally or relationally,
they're really just on survival mode,
making not the best decisions right now.
And I just remember like a light bulb going
off, like, oh, like, tell me more.
What did you say about this psychologist?
What about the chemicals in the brain?
(04:37):
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me.
And then our therapy sessions just became
very educational and I loved it and it just
lit up so many avenues for me.
And I remember getting so excited to take a
psychology course next semester and I took
a sociology course and it was like I found
my jam, like I was always decent at school,
(04:57):
but there wasn't really anything that I
felt like really just connected with me and
I just fell in love with these classes.
I was so interested in it and, you know,
very quickly I knew like I want to do this,
like I want to tell people about this.
This has helped me so much and people need
to know this, like other kids need to know
(05:18):
this, like you're not your parents, like
you're not doomed it's.
There's so much more.
There's an explanation behind all of this.
There's science behind all of this.
This is so enlightening and so I was just
kind of like lit on fire from the beginning
and I was very fortunate to get a track and
field scholarship and I went and got my
(05:38):
undergrad degree at North Greenville
University super small school.
I wanted to go to a big school for so long
and it just didn't work out.
Those doors did not open for me.
But you know, kind of just following my
path and it was such a great experience and
I just learned so much and my professors
just loved us and cared for us so much.
(06:01):
On, like a more deeper level.
I will say that is the benefit of going to
a smaller school Lots of one on one time
and I got to just open up more about my, my
situation and where I'm at and when I was
struggling, and they just saw me and guided
me and held my hand through it and just
every time I wanted to quit, they were just
right there, like no, like I don't know.
(06:22):
It's like they saw something in me that I
couldn't see and just yeah, just kept
encouraging me.
Hilary Russo (06:29):
I love that you mentioned that they saw
something that you didn't see in the moment
and I say that a lot with my clients.
I'll say my job is not to change you, fix
you, heal you.
Anything like that is to help you see parts
of you that perhaps you aren't seeing
yourself in the moment because you're in it
and sometimes you just need a guide by your
side to process some of that with you.
(06:49):
But in the long run, you're the one finding
the resolve, you're the one finding the
answer.
That's how you build resiliency and
everything you're sharing.
As someone who is a graduate student going
into the therapy field also, you're already
working in the field as a graduate student,
so you're seeing firsthand learning from
doing right, which is so important.
I would imagine that this is something
(07:10):
where knowing that you're able to help
others and give them possibilities that
perhaps you didn't have at an earlier age,
but they can make different choices now
with the knowledge that you're sharing with
them Is that right?
Emily Barbosa (07:26):
Yeah, that's like pretty much.
It to a T is just kind of like everything
that I've been through and all of the
knowledge that's been passed down to me and
my experiences.
I like to meet people wherever they're at
and just kind of show them all the
different extra, you know, paths that they
can go down and perspectives that they can
go down and just also share about me and
(07:47):
we've talked about this therapist, not
super open about their personal lives or
sharing.
I think that's one of my superpowers.
I connect very deeply with my clients.
I do self disclose a little bit more,
especially if I feel like they are afraid
to open up.
If they say things like I'm the only one
who's gone through this, I feel so they are
afraid to open up.
If they say things like I'm the only one
who's gone through this or I feel so alone
(08:08):
through this, and I like, hey, me, yeah,
I've been, I've actually been there, or I
know someone who's been there.
You are not alone and it's so powerful I
can just see their faces.
They're like what?
Hilary Russo (08:21):
Like it's not just me Right, we're human
and you're right, we did talk about that
and I love that you're touching on that,
because the days of just being that
therapist on the couch that's taking notes
like tell me about your feelings, and the
person can feel judged, like they're being
monitored or assessed, rather than having a
conversation and experience and a
(08:43):
connection with their therapist, and you're
that new age of therapy which I love seeing
and I choose to be like that as well.
But that's a totally different relationship
and of course, it's not sharing all of your
stuff, but it's allowing that person that
you're holding space for to know that
you're human too and you've got stuff 100%.
Emily Barbosa (09:06):
I think it would be difficult for me to go
to a therapist who's never been in therapy
before.
That would just be difficult to connect on
that level.
And you know they do teach us in school.
The best results come from the connection.
It doesn't matter the theory, it doesn't
matter the interventions, it's how much
does this person trust you, how deep are
(09:26):
they willing to go with you?
Do you guys have a good rapport and I find
that me being myself is the best way to do
that.
And I didn't know what to say.
I didn't know what to wear.
I'm like, who am I supposed to be?
(09:49):
I was like I was hearing my supervisor's
lines and I was getting all jumbled up,
trying to like get them to come out right.
And then finally I was just like Emily, be
yourself, Be yourself.
Like if they like you, they like you, and
if they don't, they don't.
But you got to be yourself, because you're
playing mental gymnastics right now and you
didn't even listen to like half the things
(10:10):
that they just said, because you're so
freaked out right now.
And once I just kind of gave myself
permission to just be human and be Emily,
everything just kind of felt better.
Hilary Russo (10:14):
Yeah you know, and you can't be everything
to everyone.
You know that's, that's a conversation I
think we're seeing people have more and
more, especially in the coaching and
therapeutic world, because there's so many
coaches out there online.
There's so many people that are sharing how
they can help you on your healing journey,
some of which are, you know, maybe not so
authentic.
(10:35):
Hopefully, more of those who do share are,
I think, where you're going with being the
true self that you are, is where you're
going to align with people, and there will
be people that come to you because they see
you and the authentic person you are Human.
Human first, before the job title Human
(10:55):
first.
Yeah, yeah, yes, absolutely yeah.
Emily Barbosa (10:58):
And I love working with attachment IFS,
inner child work, you know, working through
all of these limiting beliefs.
And there was a book that I read that
actually one of my professors gave to me,
and it was called Personality Isn't
Permanent by Benjamin Hardy, and I love
Benjamin.
Hardy books, it's so good and it just, oh
(11:22):
my god, that was one of the catalysts to me
working through my trauma and it just gave
me such a different perspective of I can be
whoever I want to be.
I can walk into a room and introduce myself
as hi, I'm Emily, I'm a therapist, I love
running, I live in St Pete, I have my dog,
kylo.
Instead of like, hi, my name is Emily, and
(11:43):
like I was abused as a child and I have all
this trauma and I'm broken and like I'm
doomed.
Because that's how I felt for so long.
I felt like people could look at me and see
that like I'm broken and that there was
something wrong with me.
Hilary Russo (11:57):
That's a really good point because I think
in this day and age, trauma has become a
buzzword everywhere.
In this day and age, trauma has become a
buzzword everywhere and, while we have the
big T's and the little t's, it's
encouraging people that, yes, we have
trauma and it probably doesn't ever go away.
It's building a relationship with it,
understanding it and being able to say that
(12:22):
this thing happened but it's not happening
right, and build that love and that
relationship with that part of ourselves
that we're able to cultivate a new,
healthier relationship with ourselves.
Really, it's about healing parts of
ourselves more than trying to change anyone
else.
Yes, yes, I love what you said of building
a relationship with that part.
Emily Barbosa (12:40):
Yes, yes, I love what you said of like
building a relationship with that part,
because for so long I think I hated that
part of myself that felt abandonment and
shame and guilt and embarrassment, like I
didn't like her, and it was hard for me to
have empathy for her and to work through
(13:01):
that.
I just hated it so much and I hated that it
happened and there was a lot of acceptance
that needed to happen for me to get there.
And that book just helped me see that I
actually am in control of the rest of my
life and I can take responsibility for my
future.
I can let this stuff go and how I remember
it and perceive it and tell the story.
It's really just narrative therapy.
(13:22):
The whole book is like narrative therapy
and just rewrite your story.
Like how do you want to introduce yourself?
Who do you want to be in the future?
Like I want to be a business owner one day.
I want to write books.
I want to do TED talks.
I want to make an impact.
I want to be a successful woman in this
industry.
Hilary Russo (13:38):
Yeah, and maybe changing the word, to
change the word to.
I will.
Emily Barbosa (13:42):
I will, yeah, I will, I am you are right,
it's the I am.
Hilary Russo (13:46):
I'm here A little coaching while we're
doing our interview here, because you're in
that process and I.
The one reason why I loved our connection
is because I see parts of myself in you and
where I was at your age, but I don't think
we were talking about so much of mental
health.
I was at your age but I don't think we were
talking about so much of mental health
(14:06):
publicly and openly when I was in my 20s.
And so when I am with my students or anyone
that's in their 20s, navigating through
life, trying to figure out where they're
going to go next, I get so excited because
I'm like, oh my gosh, they are so much
further ahead than I was when I was in my
20s because we didn't have these
conversations.
So it's empowering to hear someone who is
(14:29):
just starting out on this journey, really
in a career, really choosing to be the
architect of their own life.
And especially, I get even more jazzed when
I know that they want to go into this field,
because there's so much we can do to create
a community, a world where a collective,
where we're helping each other on this
(14:50):
process, you know and it's exciting.
So I'm just excited for you because I know
it's, it's, it's the journey that's just in
process and it's beautiful.
So I want to stop and just mention.
I do want to just say that you are offering
a 15 minute consultation with folks and
this is a really great opportunity for
people to see what it's like to actually
(15:12):
work with someone who is just starting out
or someone who you know.
You have your own story to share.
You're not just starting out in life, you
have life experiences.
But Emily's graciously offering a 15 minute
consultation to see if you align with her
and I do have a lot of younger folks that
do listen to this podcast that tune into
this podcast and maybe there's an alignment
(15:34):
there because you really are building a
relationship with someone.
So happily we'll share that in the podcast
notes.
Also just want to mention you have this
beautiful podcast, a Safe Place to Land,
that you have given me some space to share
and I appreciate that We'll put all that in
the podcast notes as well.
And, if this is something that resonates
with you, if you want to have a
conversation just with Emily about what it
(15:54):
might be like to start that journey, to
look into the field of mental health, to
maybe go on to a graduate degree or even an
undergraduate degree, learn more about
psychology, you're offering that as well
that 15 minutes could be any type of
conversation, right.
Emily Barbosa (16:09):
Absolutely, absolutely, and it's for anyone.
I work with 16 and up, all ages.
I enjoy working with different populations,
ages and, yeah, anybody who's interested in
therapy.
Or, again, if you do have any questions
about you know, just needing, like, a guide
or a mentor, like, please feel free to
(16:30):
reach out.
I would be more than happy to share my
experiences along the way, for sure.
Hilary Russo (16:35):
So let me ask you this don't kind of pivot
a little bit If you weren't going into
therapy and it seems like something that's
kind of been on the trajectory for a while
Is there another career field that Emily
would have preferred or thought about?
Emily Barbosa (16:49):
I mean I wanted to be a professor, but I
feel like that's still on the same track.
So if we're completely just like diverting
from this, I wanted to be an actress for a
really long time.
I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't like a theater
kid, but like I wanted to be a Disney
Channel girly for a while.
Hilary Russo (17:06):
So yeah put me on the stage, so I would
have thought about that anyway, and you and
I met at that podcasting meetup and I was
like wondering if you had an acting
background, because there's just such an
energy and a positive light about you.
Nothing says you can't do that.
Nothing says you can't incorporate elements
of what it's like it's never too late.
It's never too late, it's never too late.
And the idea of being a professor, by the
(17:26):
way, when I became a professor, I did not
have it on my radar at all.
I was somebody reached out to me from the
university at St John's in New York and
said hey, we would love to offer you an
opportunity to teach.
And I thought it was a joke.
Emily, I thought it was a joke.
(17:50):
I was like who's pranking me?
Because I didn't put in any resumes for
that.
But they like a lot of universities now and
I felt like I learned more from my adjuncts
than I was an adjunct for 12 years.
Learn from those who are in the field,
doing what they're doing, rather than just
sitting in an office, which there's value
to that too but says somewhere down the
line you can't be professor Barbosa right,
yeah, like that.
Emily Barbosa (18:08):
Oh, dr Barbosa, I love it.
Hilary Russo (18:10):
I like that even more, going on for your
PhD.
Is that something that's in your, in your
future?
You want to go on for a PhD.
Emily Barbosa (18:18):
You know it's definitely out there.
I'm coming to the end of my master's and so
the thought of enrolling into another
program makes me crazy, but I will say so.
I wanted to be a professor.
I wanted to share all this knowledge and my
passion for all of this and make a huge
impact, especially on young people.
(18:43):
Be a counselor for a while, have the
experience and then go and teach, because
my favorite professors were the ones who
had all the stories about seeing clients
and telling me all about like the real
action.
I loved it.
I was like let me get my popcorn.
I'm like eating this up.
I didn't think I was going to like it.
I thought it was going to be too much work
and I thought it was going to just be a
very burnt out.
Everyone kept saying that you're going to
get burnt out.
You're going to get burnt out, have a
(19:03):
backup plan.
And so I was like, okay, fine, I'll go be a
therapist and then I'll go back and teach.
Well, I love it and it's exactly where I'm
supposed to be and I can see myself staying
for a long time.
And I'm very fortunate to have found, you
know, a private practice this early in my
(19:25):
career, because I have work-life balance.
I don't have to see 30 clients a week and
work nine to five in an office with no
windows.
I have beautiful windows and I'm on the
water and it's lovely and I'm very
supported and they do everything they can
to help me not get burnt out, and so I can
see a very fruitful and long career with
therapy.
And I think there's other opportunities to
teach, whether it be seminars or webinars
(19:49):
or podcasts or speaking at different things,
and so I think there's still opportunity to
teach without me having to be in the
classroom.
But you know, like you've said, careers
change all the time.
People change all the time.
Who knows where I will end up down the road?
I'm very young in this position and so if I
(20:09):
feel you know, research is something that
is something I want to get into, yeah, I
could definitely see myself going back to
school, and I do want to give a shout out
to the counseling center, where you do work,
because having that first opportunity is
really important.
Hilary Russo (20:21):
So you are with Sunshine City Counseling.
You do work, because having that first
opportunity is really important.
So you are with Sunshine City Counseling.
You're in Florida.
What city in Florida are you in South St
Pete?
Yeah, okay, south St Pete.
So you're down there.
You have this great view.
Amazing, not everybody has that.
Do you also see clients virtually within
Florida?
Can you do that, or are you mostly in
person?
Emily Barbosa (20:36):
I would say it's about half and half.
Yeah, I would say lots of virtual, lots of
in person.
Um, and yeah, as long as you're in the
state of Florida, we can serve you.
Hilary Russo (20:46):
So let me.
I want to talk to you about something you
just mentioned and that is not having to
see 30 clients a day, because I think in
this field it's very common to get burned
out, with patient by patient and patient
after patient and not really taking care of
your own emotional wellbeing.
(21:08):
Also, the idea of um compassion, compassion
fatigue, vicarious trauma, secondary
traumatic stress, which is something I talk
about a lot that's my main thing to talk
about, because I understand what that's
like from outside of this field, being a
journalist.
So what do you do to protect your own
emotional well-being when you're seeing
clients and dealing with some really
personal situations?
What is that like for you?
Emily Barbosa (21:26):
It's definitely something I'm still trying
to learn and balance.
I'm definitely haven't had I don't have it
figured out, but I am trying to be mindful
about conserving my energy and so, like for
example, this week, tuesday and Wednesday
were super heavy days, so lots of people
had a couple session.
(21:46):
That was very long and deep and it was
weighing on me a lot, and so on Thursday I
didn't have any clients, but I was supposed
to get some other things done and like I
just couldn't, like my brain wasn't and I
was like you know what?
I can't, my body's telling me that I can't.
(22:07):
I need to listen to my body and I need to
respect this, and so I just lounged around
and relaxed, saw some friends, got some
fresh air, because that's what I needed and
it's just not getting angry at myself if I
can't perform constantly and if I do need a
break.
Hilary Russo (22:14):
That's really good, Not beating yourself up.
If you're not taking care of your own
emotional well-being, how in the world can
you show up for others?
So to understand that now and see that now
is creating that space for a much stronger
therapist.
Emily Barbosa (22:27):
Really, you know someone who understands
what they need for themselves Like your own
needs matter first, yeah 100%, and I got
very burnt out towards the end of undergrad.
Like so bad because I was full-time student.
I was a full-time athlete and I was waiting
tables on the weekend to try to get by, and
so there was not even a moment of rest.
(22:49):
It was constant go, go, go and it literally
got to the point where, like I couldn't do
it anymore and I had to quit the team, like
right before I graduated.
I then was just balancing the other two,
still got burnt out.
I ended up having to quit my job and like I
had to just like flee over to Florida and
be with my family, because I was like I
(23:11):
have nothing left to give right now and I
was so close to dropping out.
I was like I can't, like I'm like crawling
on the ground, like there's just no way.
It was just like absolute and total burnout.
People just come into your life when
they're supposed to, and there was this
wonderful girl who was in class with me and
she saw me struggling and she was just like
I want to help you, like you're so close
and you're so awesome, and like don't do
(23:31):
this.
I was like wait, like do you want to be my
friend?
And she just kind of helped me where I was
struggling.
I was struggling with statistics.
Who would have thought you know?
Hilary Russo (23:41):
I did that too.
I hardly made it past my my graduate
program in statistics.
I was like, why are we doing this?
Emily Barbosa (23:48):
I just want to talk to people geez, I'm not
running stats.
Um, I know, I know I like couldn't get it
figured out and she was just so helpful and
she just kind of, you know, and this will
be a lifelong friend, forever, just such an
angel to come in and see me and help me and
get me through and like I again, like
there's, there's going to be moments where
(24:09):
you think this is it, like it's not going
to happen.
And it did, and I got through and I
graduated and I'm very grateful for her,
and I learned in that moment that there is
a limit and if I continue to say yes to
everything, I will reach that burnout.
And that was one of the scariest things I
have ever experienced and I do not want to
(24:29):
go there again.
And so I'm going to conserve my energy, I'm
going to take breaks, I'm going to take
naps, I'm going to watch Love Island and
eat snacks, because I deserve it, because
I'm taking on a lot, I'm seeing people, I'm
hearing a lot of things and I have to have
room to process and relax, because, yes,
I'm not physically on my feet, but I am
(24:50):
emotionally drained and I need to rest.
Hilary Russo (24:53):
So good that you understand that.
What's your favorite way?
Well, you mentioned a lot of them.
Do you have a favorite way to self-care?
Emily Barbosa (24:59):
Yeah, right now it's definitely like
snuggling with my puppy, watching Love
Island, eating popcorn and just like just
rotting and like just chilling and we call
it bed rotting.
That's like a Gen Z thing.
So we bed rot and I give myself permission
to do that and it's almost like I need that,
just like to just turn off my brain and
(25:20):
then, once I have a little bit more energy,
I love running, I love taking my dog to the
dog park, I love being with my friends.
That's huge.
Just spending time with friends and family
getting outside is just so big.
I need to be in the sun.
Hilary Russo (25:35):
Yeah, there's so many ways that we can
self-regulate for self-care, you know,
incorporating different tools and tactics
and putting them in what I call the brain
candy jar, and you and I we talked about
that when you invited me on your show and
shared more about Havening and how that's a
really beautiful modality and thank you so
much for that opportunity to share it with
you.
It is just such a joy to have you here to
(25:57):
be able to share.
And I just want to mention again to those
tuning in if you know somebody even you
might be much older already doing what
you're doing, maybe you're pivoting, maybe
you have a child or a student that's
interested in getting into neuroscience or
therapy or mental health in some way,
whatever it might be that 15 minutes that
(26:18):
Emily is offering as an opportunity to just
have a conversation and kick back and have
answers to your questions or just have
somebody hold space for you in that moment
and then see where it goes.
And, of course, if you need further support
in this area, emily is providing that too
through her therapy practice working with
the Sunshine City, and you know there's so
many, so many opportunities to connect.
(26:40):
So I'm really elated to have you here and
just be able to share.
Do you want to play a little game?
Oh my gosh, yes, let's do it.
Amazing Part of my podcast is rapid fire.
This is an opportunity for you to come back
with the first word that comes to mind do a
little brain candy work up there.
You know a little brain gaming.
It's word association.
So I've been writing down some words you've
(27:01):
been saying and what I want you to do is
just come back with one word like rapid
Okay, you ready to play?
Okay, let's do it.
Let's do it.
All right, here we go.
Therapy, counseling, neuroscience, brain
Professor, teacher, Energy, fast Connection,
love, divorce, heartbreak, trauma, pain,
(27:28):
graduate Me yeah, love it.
We're going to end on that.
I'm just like I know you're looking ahead
at what is about to happen, like all this
awesome stuff coming into your space.
What a joy having you.
You're such a light.
I'm not putting I'm not putting artists and
(27:48):
actor outside the realm of possibility
because, honestly, that means so many
different things.
As someone that comes from that background
as well, you could be using that just in
your social media or sharing or even in the
space with those that you are supporting,
seeing that light that you have and that
energy, but being true to who you are and
no doubt that that is something that you
(28:10):
are putting out there already.
Emily Barbosa (28:12):
So, oh my gosh, thank you so much, HIlary,
you're so sweet.
Hilary Russo (28:15):
You're adorable.
I love you, I absolutely adore you.
All right, so final words that you might
want to share with HIListically Speaking
listeners anything you would like for those
who are tuning in, whether it's on YouTube,
on the YouTube channel or anywhere where
they are tuning in.
What do you want to tell them?
Emily Barbosa (28:31):
I just want to say like thank you so much
for listening, and I know that the idea of
going to therapy if you've never been
before can be extremely scary and it can
feel as though the person won't understand
you.
But I just want to remind you that, even if
someone experienced the exact same thing
that you went through, they're going to
experience it differently and different
mentors, therapists, coaches they're all
(28:52):
going to have different insights and you
can take what you want and you can leave
what you don't, but you're going to
continue to grow through that process and
so, if you're thinking about it, I just
want to encourage you to go for it.
Hilary Russo (29:12):
And so, if you're thinking about it, I just
want to encourage you to go for it and I
just want to support you along that way,
because you know there are people there
that want to hear you and help you and
support.
They need your services.
Or we learn from each other, like we learn
from each other in this world.
It's all gonna be there for you Absolutely.
Plus.
Look, you're this new podcaster and I love
working with my fellow podcasters too, so
(29:33):
hopefully I'll get to see you soon and
we'll be able to connect on that level,
absolutely.
All right, thank you so much for being here
and just being part of this.
Emily Barbosa (29:40):
Thank you for having me.
Hilary Russo (29:42):
All right, sunshine.
You heard it from Emily.
If you want to reach out to her, she is
inviting you to have a 15-minute
conversation with her.
All the links you need to connect with her,
be it on social media or on her website,
are in the notes of this podcast episode.
And, of course, if you're interested in
learning more about havening techniques
whether it is being supported and working
with me personally, or maybe you're on the
(30:03):
journey as a therapist or a practitioner a
doctor, nurse, first responder I offer
trainings to get certified in havening
techniques.
All of that information, whether you are
needing support and you want to do
one-to-one work with me or in group, or
bring me into your organization or possibly
get certified in havening, you'll find all
of that in the links of this podcast
(30:24):
episode as well.
And if this episode touched, moved and
inspired you in any way, consider paying it
forward.
Pass it along to just one person.
It could make a difference in their lives.
And, of course, consider leaving a rating
or review wherever you're tuning into this
podcast, because it could put it in the
hands and in the ears of somebody who needs
(30:44):
to hear it more than ever right now.
HIListically Speaking is edited by Two
Market Media, with music by Lipbone Redding
and, of course, supported by you, and I
couldn't do it without you.
So, thank you, I appreciate you more than
you know and, on that note, remember you
are always supported, you are always heard
and there is always someone that is there
(31:04):
to listen.
And let you know that you can be kind to
your mind.
I love you, I believe in you and I'm
sending hugs your way.
Be well.
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