Ep180 - The Mindful Bride: Say Yes to the Dress Not the Stress with Jenny Orsini - HIListically Speaking with Hilary Russo

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jenny Orsini (00:00):
You have to let go, like there is that
moment where you can do all the work.
But your stress will absolutely diminish
once you let go and you trust the process
and trust the people.
And you know 20 plus years of doing this
and nothing changes Brides still get very
stressed out because they don't trust.

Hilary Russo (00:21):
All right there, sunshines.
This is a topic that I have not covered yet
on HIListically Speaking, and I have to be
honest, I'm kind of surprised because I
hear this so much about the stress that
goes into once you get engaged, once you're
in a relationship, once you're planning a
wedding.
And I thought you know February is love

(00:44):
month, planning a wedding, and I thought
you know February is love month.
Obviously, most importantly is self-love
first, but when you are in that position
where you're in partnership and you're
planning that big day, I know firsthand,
from going through it myself twice, that
planning a wedding can be very stressful.
So how do you become the mindful bride?

(01:05):
And I thought you know what.
I know one person that can help us deal
with the stress when you say yes to the
dress.
I've known her for 40 plus years.
She happens to be a very well-known wedding
planner and event planner in the business
and she is my BFF, quite frankly.
So.

(01:25):
And look, she's been part of my wedding.
So I'm bringing on my bestie, Jenny Orsini,
to talk about how to stress less.
Jenny, I know we've talked about this
before.
I'm so excited to have you on the show.
It's so amazing to share the space with my
best friend and know that you're also in
the industry and you are the lady to answer

(01:46):
these questions, because we got a bunch of
questions that we're going to answer right
here on the show.
What?

up girlfriend.
Hello girl, everything you said is
absolutely correct.
First and foremost, I am so excited to be
here.
Thank you for having me on HIListically
Speaking and finally, a topic I actually
know something about.
I've been listening to your podcast for
years and it's always so entertaining and

(02:13):
educating, but I'm always like I have
nothing to contribute.
But today I am here, we're going to answer
some questions, we're going to talk about
how brides can be more mindful, and I am
just super excited to be here, thank you.

Yes.
So we have gotten a bunch of questions.
You and I have talked about this stuff so
much over the years because, look, you've
been there for both of my weddings and, yes,
my friends, there is an opportunity to say
yes to the dress more than once.
We nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong
with that, maybe even three times, you know,
maybe more.
That's how I make money.

(02:47):
Right, putting money in business, that's
right.
But the good thing about this is that you
know you've kind of been like this pseudo
therapist in a way, to your clients.
I've watched that, I've been at weddings,
that you have been the planner and I've
been the fly on the wall and sometimes I
think, like you've invited me to work with
you at these weddings Cause you're like

(03:09):
let's put Hilary on the bride, cause she
knows from the work that she does on how to,
you know, downregulate the emotions.
It can be very stressful, right?
So I've never used you.

No, never, never never, never, ever.
Absolutely not.
You have folded napkins and lit candles,
and that's all you've ever done.

That's kind of what I thought I was coming
in.
I thought you're like, I just want my best
friend to be here while I'm working.
And yes, I have folded many a napkins, I've
learned how to do origami and pretty much
every every shape, and I've done table
settings, helped with flowers.
I've done it all right.
But I think the one area I always see and I
don't want to just say it's just the bride

(03:51):
that deals with the stress.
It is really a whole party affair and the
kind of questions we got for this episode
really tap into that.
Like it's not just the bride, it's also the
groom, it's the family members, it's, uh,
the, the responsibility of being the maid
of honor or the best man.
And just in the age of weddings, things

(04:12):
have changed so much now.
So we, oh for sure, we did get so many
questions and we're going to get to that.
We are going to get to that and there are
many.
But you know, for people to know who you
are, I know who you are and I know your
route and how you got from to where you are
today.
I mean, listen, this is a gal who has been
on the show.
Whose wedding is it?

(04:33):
Anyway, you've been on Bravo, tlc, nbc, abc.
You've covered the gamut, really talking
about events and how to have perfect, as
perfect as possible, because nothing's ever
perfect events and some fun moments too, by
the way, on whose wedding is in any way?
But for you, how does someone who was not

(04:55):
always in this business move into this
space and decide this is what I want to do,
this is where my heart is, this is where my
talents lie?

I think my story is very similar to most
wedding planners and event designers.
If you were to speak to them, nobody really
goes to college and plans to do that.
They might do that now, but 25 plus years
ago everyone was just going for business or
teaching, et cetera.
So I started working in corporate America.
I was in human resources and I was
moonlighting as a wedding singer.

(05:23):
So, as you know, as a theater lover
yourself, I have always been into singing
and I learned a lot about the industry.
Eventually, due to cost containment, hr
positions were eliminated and I said you
know what?
I'm just going to start a part-time
business.
We're going to help brides on their wedding
days.
And, long story short, it picked up.
I got very lucky.

(05:43):
I got some great exposure, landed on
television, got some really great clients.
You know the word spread.
My reputation grew and before you knew it,
you know, we were, you know, kind of a
leader in the industry in our area and it's
been 20 plus years now.
So I'm loving it.

(06:05):
I think in this industry you have to love
it to stay in it and there's a lot of
turnover.
So I'm proud of the 20 plus years.
There's nothing else I would rather do.
I can't think of what would be more
gratifying and joyful, um.

(06:29):
Gratifying and and and.
Joyful and and um.
It was a a very kind of fluid movement, I
guess, into this position.
It just happened naturally and it's awesome,
I love it.
But yeah, that's where I am.
I plan weddings and I do not sing anymore.
You sing, not on stage and not for money,
but um, it's, it's been a ride, it's been
really fun.

It's definitely being the fly on the wall,
like when you were actually a wedding
singer and you're there up on stage and
you're watching everything happen.
And, by the way, so many of these people
that you have worked with as vendors are
now vendors you work with because you see
and you work together with these people.
It's such a collaboration, which is
something I love, because I've gotten to
know the folks that you work with.

(07:08):
I've used them in my own life as vendors,
I've referred them and I think it really is
about building a relationship, you know.

I don't.

I don't know if, if those who are getting
married really understand even the stress
that goes into planning a wedding, right?
They?

don't, and if we look at some of the
questions that you got, there were other
questions that were more generic.
One of the big stressors that brides go
through is the hiring process of their
vendors, because the market is saturated
and there's so much overwhelm and we could
spend a whole hour just on that.
But just like in your industry, in our

(07:45):
industry it's about relationships and
building trust and having a symbiotic
relationship with these vendors, because
these people are representing you, you know.
So the stress is on us.
I can only imagine the stress that brides
are feeling when they're just blindly
choosing a photographer, a videographer, a
hairstylist and they don't have a wedding
planner or they don't have friends to give

(08:06):
recommendations.
So it's very stressful.

Yeah, I feel very blessed because even when
I was married the first time, you weren't
even into the industry but you were so good
at it Actually you were my therapist in
that moment, I remember.
And then the second one, I was like I know
who I want and not wanting to take
advantage of my best friend who was an
integral part of it.
We brought in vendors that we really knew

(08:30):
that you trust, that I know, that are
friends of mine.
Now, having that stress taken away from me
that I didn't have to worry about it, it's
almost like let people do what they know
how to do and have trust that you're hiring
them for a reason.

Oh yeah, trust the process, do what they
know how to do and have trust that you're
hiring them for a reason, Right yeah, Trust
the process.
That's a motto that I think people use in
any industry.
You know the people you hire.
You have to let go, Like there is that
moment where you can do all the work.
But your stress will absolutely diminish
once you let go and you trust the process

(09:05):
and trust the people.
And 20 plus years of doing this and nothing
changes Brides still get very stressed out
because they don't trust and they have a
hard time letting go.
And we can't always change that, but we can
try.

Absolutely.
And look, we're talking about financial
stresses, no-transcript.

(09:51):
You feel like this is the most important
day of my life.
I don't want to mess it up.
There's a lot of people going to be there
and I know you have your bridezilla stories
too.
It's not hard to have that Right.
And when we use that term, which you know
what, how do you feel when you hear that
term?

You know what I feel like it's very 2000s,
but at the same time it's real, it's legit.
I'm fortunate I don't deal with that
clientele anymore.
There was a time in my early career where I
got some doozies.
In my early career where I got some doozies,

(10:29):
um, and the term bridezilla was, um,
absolutely a regular commonplace situation
in every event planner's life and every
DJ's life and every photographer's life.
But I feel there there has been a shift and
it might just be because I attract a
different clientele Now.
I feel brides are a little bit older now,
when they're getting married, I feel that
their lifestyles are a little different and

(10:50):
I feel their priorities are a little
different.
I think the name of the game is the same.
I think it's about having the best party
and potentially one-upping the last one.
But I don't see that overly entitled
attitude and that bridezilla exhibited as
much like thank god yeah, thank god,

(11:10):
because I'd be havening 17 times a day and
I'd be looking for a new job if that was
the case.

I wish I had havening when I was, when I
was getting married both times you know, I
mean like the amount of stress that goes
into just making the most simple decisions.
And we make them so big, you know Because
you realize you're making an investment.
You're making a huge investment.
The ultimate investment is that you're
making a choice to marry the person you're
marrying.
But when you think about the fanfare that

(11:39):
goes behind planning something that really
is a financial responsibility, you want
your money to go really far and you want it
to go well right.
I mean it is a return on investment.

So I mean, I work with brides and grooms
who have really, you know, healthy budgets
for their events.
But it doesn't matter whether you're
spending $50,000 or $500,000.
Every person wants bang for buck and

(12:11):
sometimes finding that bargain is futile
and it causes a lot of stress because
they're looking for that needle in a
haystack and they feel like if I don't get
the best deal out there, then I have failed,
which is not the case, because this is a

(12:32):
market that is just it's all about the
pretty and it's all about the glam and it's
all about the impressing people.
You're not necessarily gonna find a bargain
all the time.
So finances and brides just going nuts
trying to find that little tiny deal that's
a huge source of stress and just budgeting

(12:52):
in general is a huge stressor for many
brides, even if they have an unlimited
budget.
Nobody wants to overspend on anything, even
if you're a gazillionaire.

And listen.
Stress is the number one killer, and the
last thing you need is to be sick on your
wedding day or in the process.

And I see it all the time.

I see it all the time, jenny, where people
are, I'm working with them and they're the
little stresses become bigger stresses and
then all of a sudden, you know you're
facing a lot of health issues.
But also, you know, like the brides
especially brides you know we're always
trying to to get into that perfect dress,
the perfect size, and you're putting your

(13:30):
body through hell, through hell, folks.
I'm going to be frank here.
I know I've mentioned it on the show before,
but having my, my sister who was with me
during that journey, jenny and I went to
fat camp right and optional calories
calories girl we went to fat camp and it
was called that back in the day.

(13:51):
So wrong to even call it that now in this
day and age, but you know we went to a
Weight Watchers camp and just the fact that
you know, obviously nobody that was at camp
was planning a wedding at that time.
But, like the, the mental side of it that
is kind of ingrained in us from an early
age to look good, uh, that that the, the

(14:12):
first, the, the first thing that needs to
be done is that we're, is that we're seen
as something that looks good, Right, and
yes, we need to be healthy first and we
were learning healthy habits there.
But the amount of people that was, they
were putting so much on the physical
appearance.
Yeah, and I think that's still something we
see even when you're planning a wedding

(14:34):
that it can really make mainly the brides
sick.
You see that, I see that.
How would you handle that?
How would you handle that?
Like, how do you approach a bride that's,
you see might be, and delicately obviously,
that you see might be facing that kind of a
concern?

But as someone who has struggled with
weight the majority of my life, I am very
sensitive to to that topic.
I am the first person to say to a bride, if
she were to ever bring up to me, oh I have
to lose five more pounds, or my dress, I'm
so scared it's not going to fit.
Um, I am the first person to say to them
you look absolutely perfect and beautiful

(15:13):
the way you are.
And I'm not lying, I am going to say this.
There's so many young women between 25 and
30 who really have a very warped perception
of their own body image and it it makes
them go way above and beyond in terms of

(15:35):
going to the gym and lipo and Botox and
dieting.
So while I can't stop them from doing the
things they're going to do, I am always
going to tell them that they look beautiful
and being too thin is never a good look on
your wedding day.
Yeah, and I will also say to them you know

(15:55):
you got to eat healthy, you got to drink a
lot of water, because at that age I don't
think they realize that if you're not
hydrated and you're not eating right and
and you're not doing all the basic things
the doctors tell you to do.
It's going to show in your skin and you're
you're so concerned about looking perfect
on your wedding day.
The biggest organ in your body is your skin

(16:16):
and I'm more focused on how can we make
sure that you you look like you're glowing,
like your outside should match the glow of
the inside, and I I never push people to
exercise more or get that Botox or get the
lipo.
I always support getting your teeth
whitened, as long as it's like three weeks
before the wedding.
Um, I always encourage you know if they

(16:38):
want to get highlights three weeks before
the wedding.
I just don't ever encourage brides to to to
lose more weight.
I just don't think anyone should say that
to anyone, especially if you're a hired
wedding planner, and shame on you if you
actually say that to a client.
Goodness.

Have you heard stories of that?

happening.
99.9% of the people in this industry are
absolutely amazing and genuine, but there
is always someone who will talk out of turn.
No, this industry is amazing.
I love my colleagues and my cohorts.
There's always someone that crosses that
line between professional and friend and

(17:21):
joins that bandwagon, and I don't think
anyone not a bridesmaid, not a mother um
should ever tell a bride she needs to lose
weight.
I think weight and being obsessed and
preoccupied and overly concerned with your
body image, and your weight especially, is
one of, if not the biggest stressor,
because it's, it's in the mind, it's

(17:43):
everywhere, it's on TV, it's on social,
it's everywhere.
So you will never find me ever supporting
that movement, um, and and quite honestly,
I don't think it's my place to.

And that's why we're talking about the
mindful bride, because these are the kinds
of things we hear every day.
This is the stuff that you're hearing as a
wedding and event planner, that the stories
and the concerns I hear from the clients.
I see, as a mental health practitioner,
that there is a concern out there that
really goes to our head.

(18:16):
You know, our brain is designed to keep us
safe, and if safety to you is like I got to
look perfect, I got to be perfect, well,
first of all, there's no such, no such
thing as perfect.
That who's, who's making that scale.
Be healthy, be happy.
That sounds a little closer to perfection,
doesn't it?
And then just creating a beautiful day is
really what you're you're doing, if that's

(18:38):
what you choose to do.
You know there's plenty of people that are
doing the micro weddings, or eloping, or
choosing not to not looking to pull
business away from your girl.

No, no, there's no right or wrong.
It's what makes you happy, and one of the
things we do as wedding planners is we try
to instill that vision of the day
throughout the entire planning process, and
that vision is really constantly reiterated
to our brides about how amazing that day is
going to be and you have to trust the

(19:06):
process.
But one of the things that we constantly
tell them is you're going to have glam,
you're going to have hair and makeup,
you're going to be surrounded by your best
friends and your mom and your future
mother-in-law, and you're going to have the
most amazing artistry and your hairstylist
and your makeup artist and they're going to
be doting on you and it's going to feel

(19:29):
amazing.
You're going to feel like a princess, and
that is something I relate to them, because
I do feel that envisioning how that day
could be so just relaxing and perfect and
pampering gives their brain like something
positive to focus on.
What is it?
We used to call it brain candy, or-.

Brain candy, yeah, behind your mind.

Like I cannot predict the future, but based
on how many weddings I've done and I think
it's close to 600, I can honestly say that,
no matter how stressed out a bride is, the
day is always going to be freaking amazing.
It's all about how you develop your mindset
and how you focus on the positive, and one

(20:08):
of the ways I can remind them of that is
just constantly saying, oh, getting hair
and makeup done is amazing, and having
champagne with your girls is amazing, and
wearing your beautiful robe is amazing, and
you're going to look stunning.
And oh my gosh.
And when they send me pictures from their
final fittings I don't care what I
personally feel about that dress I will say

(20:30):
to that bride you look stunning because she
does.
It may not be the dress I would choose, but
oh my gosh, like if they don't hear that a
hundred times and they're the type of bride
that maybe is very doubtful or have self
image issues I want to be that person that
says to them girl, you da bomb.

I've heard those words.

And you did, and you did look beautiful
Both times, both times, right, by the way.

That's another thing, and we'll get to that
in a minute, because we're going to take
questions in a minute.
I want to stop real quick.
I have heard those words from her my
friends, by the way.
She has said that Both I've been in the
presence when you've said it to the brides,
that you because, look, I mean you were
there during some stressful situations that

(21:29):
I dealt with as well.
But before we go there, I just want to stop
real quick, just remind folks.
I have amazing people that are part of my
Rolodex of just human beings, and Jenny,
you are one of them.
You are my best friend for over 40 years,
talking about how to stress less the
mindful bride here.
But I also am really excited because on

(21:51):
this episode, you know this month being the
love month.
Last week I did a whole episode on
self-love.
This week we're doing the whole episode on
coming together in love, you know, with
your partner, with the people and family
that you have.
So I have a really awesome giveaway that
we're doing thanks to New City Florist, and
they're going to be giving away a dozen

(22:14):
chocolate coverage strawberries.
I'm so excited.
They're going to send them to you.
All you have to do is check into my social
media on Instagram.
I'm going to be sharing more about this
giveaway.
You'll see.
Everything you need to do is check into my
social media on Instagram.
I'm going to be sharing more about this
giveaway.
You'll see everything you need to do Simple
stuff, just basically.
You are liking and following Miss Jenny
Orsini, new City Florist, Hilary Russo,

(22:36):
HIListically Speaking.
Once you do that, you will be entered to
win that amazing gift that's being offered
by New City.
And then you know what?
The more times you check in, the more
chances you have to win, and it could be
for you.
Hello, self-love, you don't have to share
those strawberries, but you can also give
them to somebody you love whoever it might

(22:57):
be, that's awesome.

That's really awesome.

It's a fun gift right.

Thank you to them.

Yes, thank you so much to them.
So let's get into it.
People have questions, jen, so we have a
number of questions that came in a lot.
We're going to try to answer as many as
possible, so I'm going to check out my
notes here and some of these are anonymous.

I can always answer more on my social later.
That's right.
We don't get to it here.
That's right.

And you're really good about that get a
slew of questions, but this is really a
good opportunity.
People, they, they submitted their
questions ahead of time.
We have a bunch of them here.
We can really riff on this and just
remember to like, follow and subscribe to
this podcast.
If this is the kind of content you love, I
would love to hear from you as well.
This is what we do here at HIListically
Speaking, so make sure you do that and
let's get to these questions, shall we All?
Right, mama, here we go.
The first one is from Monique in New Jersey,

(23:49):
and she says I get stressed when I have
certain friends that I'm wondering if
they're going to get upset if I don't pick
them to be in my wedding party.
Oh, that's a good one.
What advice would you give to a bride?

Okay, so what's really interesting is, at
my age I'm 50.
I have a much different mindset and opinion
on things like this than I probably would
have had in my twenties or thirties, and I
think that's why these questions come up,
because these brides are likely in their
twenties and don't truly understand yet

(24:23):
because hindsight's, 2020, what true
friendship really means as you kind of go
through the ages and the decades.
So my advice today to someone who's kind of
grappling with should this person be in my
bridal party?
I don't want to offend people.
You don't owe anyone anything when it comes
to your bridal party, anything when it

(24:49):
comes to your bridal party, and I feel that
if someone is actually going to get upset
at you because you didn't ask them to be a
bridesmaid, then maybe they're not as good
as a friend as you thought they were.
It's impossible to have every single friend
be in your bridal party.
There has to be a cutoff.
What's what's more important is you know
the delivery sending them a text like, hey,
girl, I really wanted to, but I can't have

(25:10):
you in my bridal party, sorry, x, x, o, o,
no, that's not the way to do it.
They will Some people do Um, I think,
calling up calling them up and having a
conversation and saying listen, you know, I
wanted to have like 30 bridesmaids and I
wanted you to be right there, but I just
can't do it and I had to kind of just I

(25:31):
mean, you can lie a little and be like I
just had to pick names out of a hat.
It got to the point.
I'm not encouraging lying, I'm simply
saying you don't owe them an excuse, you
just owe them the truth.
I wish I could, but I can't.
But I love you and I can't wait to
celebrate the day with you.
I would love for you to be there, maybe
when we get hair and makeup done, and I,

(25:51):
you know, can't wait to celebrate on the
dance floor with you and have you at my
bridal shower.
I just can't have everybody that I love in
my bridal party.

Yeah, you better never not have me in your
bridal party, if you ever get married again,
right?

Um, sorry, tom, it's just the truth.
I mean, the truth will set you free in most
of these cases and the problem is the truth
and transparency is one of the hardest
things for people to face and it's the
biggest source of stress, because they
don't want to break bad news.
But you have to change the narrative and
stop thinking about it as bad news.

(26:26):
If this is someone who you grew up with and
you are besties and the two of you have
talked at nauseam about being in each
other's bridal parties, yes, that probably
would be a strange conversation.
But if this is just someone that you've
known for years and you hang out with on
occasion and you exchange Christmas cards
cards you don't owe them the honor of

(26:48):
inviting them into your bridal party.
You don't owe anyone anything.
You owe the venue a check, you owe the, you
owe your vendors payment and you owe, you
know, your husband a first dance.
But aside from that, like, remove that
pressure of having to make other people
happy when you know just the thought of it

(27:09):
makes you unhappy.
Maybe you should kind of evaluate,
reevaluate that thought.

And there's a lot of pressure that goes
into even especially that age, that younger
age, where everybody's getting engaged,
then everybody's having the baby.
The other side of that question is what do
you do if you're both getting married
around the same time?
And then there's the financial
responsibility of great.
Another bridesmaid dress, or oh, this is
deflecting from my wedding day, right?

Right, you hear that too.
This happens a lot and I think it's
completely acceptable.
If you are, let's say, a bridesmaid and you
are also planning your own wedding, and
then let's say you get invited to be
another bridesmaid and everything's
happening within the same you know five,
six month period, that is a lot of pressure.

(27:57):
That is too much pressure.
Think about it.
There's bachelorette parties, bachelorette
vacations and getaways, there's showers,
there's dresses, there's hair, there's
makeup.
It is absolutely okay to decline an
invitation to something.
That is a very hard concept for the younger
generation to understand and I get it Like.

(28:20):
I understand why they feel that way.
But the truth is, if being overly involved
and promising too much of yourself to other
people is going to cause you stress just
thinking about it, don't do it.
You know there are other ways to make
someone feel loved aside from going to

(28:40):
their bachelorette in Mexico.
And if you're honest about it and you say,
girl, I love you, I want to be there, but
we're buying a house, we're planning a
wedding, I want to contribute in every way
I possibly can.
I just can't do all of that.
I highly doubt she's going to be offended.
And if she is offended and she still knows

(29:01):
all the things you're going through
financially and all the other obligations.
Then again, is this really a true friend or
is this someone who's just stuck in the
moment and only focusing on her own?

happiness.

Yeah.

And that kind of leads into the next
question.
But first I want to say thank you to
Monique for sharing a question here on

(29:39):
Good question, monique, question that Nikki
shared from New Jersey about.
I don't want to put all that financial
responsibility on my friends.
You know that are in my wedding party.
It's a special day and I hope I'm not
overextending anyone by doing this.
How do you deal with that, with the
financial burden that you might feel you're
putting on?
That's stressful.

(29:59):
Financials are stressful.

First of all, I think it's really
considerate when someone actually has that
thought and they're thinking about other
people's situations and I believe it or not,
I see a lot of that and it's a really nice
thing to actually see.
I think, again, this is where a
conversation is very necessary, where you
actually say to your bridesmaids listen, I,

(30:24):
I love you all, I'm so thankful you all
agreed to be bridesmaids, but I don't want
anyone to feel overextended, um,
emotionally, socially or financially, um, I
want you guys to feel like you know it's,
it's fair, because a lot of times it's
about inequity One bridesmaid feels like

(30:45):
she's doing more than the other, or the
maid of honor is just taking on everything
and other bridesmaids are not pulling their
weight.
I think there needs to be a conversation,
if not with the bride, but among the
bridesmaids and the maid of honor, where
she says listen, these are all the things
that I think we can all do and it's
realistic to expect all of us to do this.

(31:06):
And if they all agree that something the
bride mentioned is completely unrealistic,
I think it's okay for one person not
everyone, but one person to say to the
bride maybe the maid of honor, listen, we
all spoke and while we want nothing more
than to fly to Paris for you, it's really
hard for us, but we came up with this
solution as an alternative.

(31:27):
What do you think?
And maybe you rent a suite at a nicer hotel
within the continental US and you have
little Eiffel Towers everywhere and berets
and you have a ton of baguettes flown in
from Paris.
But there has to be Wait wasn't that in the
movie.

Are you thinking about the movie with?
Oh God, what was?

that movie.
Oh, Bridesmaids, Bridesmaids, oh it was
called Bridesmaids.

That's so funny.
I'm like wait a minute.
You're pretty much explaining Bridesmaids.

I wasn't even trying to.

And Maya Rudolph was like I, you take
another girl to Paris.

I was being very arbitrary.
What I'm basically saying is that you
absolutely need to communicate within a
group.
Bridesmaids have to communicate with one
another and try not to bring the bride in
unless it's absolutely necessary.
You know, sometimes brides really just want
the bridesmaids to do everything and they
just want to delegate.
So honesty and transparency again super,

(32:32):
super important.
You want to make sure you're not
overextending people and if this is a
question from a bride, I think it's
absolutely normal and quite respectful of
you to say to your bridesmaids listen, I'm
envisioning this.
Do you guys think you can handle that?
If not, tell me.
I don't ever want to put exceptional
pressure on anybody, so just tell me what

(32:54):
you're comfortable with, because this is a
judgment-free space.

Yeah, that's good, and that actually
answered another question.
There was another question very similar to
that.
So, nikki, thank you for asking that
question, because there were other
questions similar to that that you just
answered for some other folks that sent in
some requests.
So that was really good.
Bridal parties.

They're hard Sometimes.
I wish that they were just like completely
obliterated the entire scope of wedding
planning Back in the day, when there were
like 10, 12, 15 bridesmaids, we started to
see it go down Recently.
I have three weddings coming up this year
where there's 10 plus bridesmaids, and I
just did one in October where there were 13.

(33:36):
It's hard for me to understand how that is,
even logistically, a possibility, but it
still occurs.
And, just like with a wedding, the more
people you have, the bigger your budget.
The more bridesmaids you have, the more
money you're going to spend.

So hey, there's a little tip to cutting
your budget cut your guest count and cut
your bridal party.
That leads into the next question there,
and this is a big one, and I know you hear
this a lot.
I, we've both been through this.
But when it comes to that guest list, you
know, and whittling it down and making a
decision to decide how many people we only
have 100 people that we can invite, and my

(34:14):
family's bigger than my soon to be partners
and I mean, how do you deal with that?
That is a huge stress.

Many years ago, I once heard this event
planner she was world renowned talking
about budgets and it was ironic because all
of her clients spent a million dollars plus
on their weddings.
But the general rule of thumb was if you
haven't spoken to someone in six plus
months, why are you inviting them to your
wedding?
That's number one.

(34:41):
Number two it's absolutely the number one
way to reduce your budget is to reduce your
guest count.
Now, when you have families that are
unequal in terms of guest count his side,
her side I don't think there's a right or
wrong.
I've had weddings where there was 150

(35:01):
guests and a hundred of them were from the
bride's side and 50 were from the groom's
side.
There is no right or wrong.
Just make sure when you're sitting at the
ceremony, that it's mixed seating and
you're not doing all the grooms, the family
on one side and the family on the other
side.
You don't want to draw attention to that,
but it's absolutely fine to have inequity

(35:23):
in the guest count, but lowering that guest
count is what's going to lower your budget
for sure.

A lot of times, though, it does come from
the family, right you need to invite.

Oh, I knew this was coming.
You need to invite and this.

Right and like that, especially if people
are younger.
Well, actually I'll say it's both ages,
because when you're younger, you know most
likely I mean traditionally dad's paying
for the wedding of the bride, right?
Not always, I mean, things have changed a
lot but you feel that obligation because
you know for the parents sometimes it's an
opportunity to, like, bring the people they

(35:57):
want there celebrating the day that they're
seeing just as important.
But then when you're older, you also feel
like you could be feeling that same pull in
a different way.
How in the world do you do that?
And I know this is a question we might have
not gotten it today.
No, it's definitely on there.

How do you deal with that?
Again, you know, in wedding planning, like
so many different arenas, there's always
that gray area.
You can say this is what's going to be more
fiscally responsible, but in the end,
emotion is often going to be part of your
deciding factor when it comes to family.

(36:36):
If your parents are paying for the wedding
or someone's parents are paying for the
wedding and they want you know X, y and Z
to show up and you're like who is X, y and
Z?
Like I don't remember them, I understand
why that would make you feel like that's
kind of impersonal.
I was kind of looking to have an intimate
event and with all of the people mom wants
to bring, it's an additional 30 people.

(36:58):
You can look at it two ways.
You can look at it because it's going to
cause stress and it causes fights within
the family and mom and her daughter are
constantly at odds.
We're trying to talk about how do we
alleviate stress, not cause more.
If mom and dad are footing the bill and
they're absolutely fine paying for those
additional heads and you're okay with
having them in the room and you're just

(37:18):
very much like whatever, then problem is
solved.
But if mom and dad are not footing the bill
and you're paying for your wedding, because
that often happens and they still expect
you to pay or to invite all these people
that you don't know.
I'm going to say I think that's an
opportunity to have a discussion and
explain to them how the finances really

(37:41):
work when it comes to planning a wedding,
because the one thing I've learned is that
the older generations, who have not hosted
a wedding or planned a wedding in the last
20 plus years, do not know the exorbitant
costs that are associated with having a
wedding today, especially in the Northeast.
So sometimes it's just about educating the
parents and informing them about why this

(38:03):
is going to be a financial hardship.
You want nothing more than to have them
there, but it's going to cost an additional
$10,000.
Maybe mom and dad aren't realizing that.
Again, it's all about, like there's this
expression brides don't know what brides
don't know, and it's so true.
You know, like it's the same with the

(38:24):
parents that are involved.
They may not be aware of what that
financial hardship is going to be inviting
those 14 cousins from Omaha and in the end
you have to have a conversation.
So families that don't have open lines of
communication are the ones where I see the
brides have the most stress because they're
very timid about talking to their parents.
They're very timid about talking to their

(38:44):
fiance's parents.
They don't want to bring up the points that
are stressors and that just causes more
stress because it's building and building
and building.
So if now, at the beginning of your life
together, before you're married, if you
can't have those open conversations with
your family and your soon to be family,
then it's not a good start to that marriage.

(39:06):
So start the conversation early.
Talk about how it's bothering you, talk
about compromise.
There's always a way to work it out because
there's other ways to have family feel
important, without necessarily inviting
every single person to the wedding.
You can honestly say the venue doesn't hold
the space, the budget doesn't permit it,

(39:26):
but we'd love to have you after the wedding.
You know, come over this time, that time,
and we'll have another gathering, but you
got to talk about it.

Yeah, the conversations need to happen
Definitely, and then there are some
conversations that don't need to happen,
and I know this question came up where you
were living in a very tumultuous time.
There is a lot of you know us versus them
happening in this world, and this question
did actually come up about politics,
politics at the wedding.

(39:54):
I know we're not, I'm having a bad
connection.
We're not going to talk politics.
We're not picking sides here, but we will
say and you and I have both witnessed this,
I have heard it from clients, you've heard
it from clients.
Oh yeah, the politics is going to ruin
everything at the family gathering.
This actually was a question from Jodi in
New York.
How do I seat my guests when the groups are

(40:17):
so politically divided?
Do I need to worry that they're going to
start arguing at my wedding?
What in the world do I do?
Help, okay.

So I have seen this firsthand happen.
At events, if you know and you are the only
person that's truly going to know the
extent of the political divide within your
party Okay, by party I mean your guest
count.

(40:47):
Sorry, it's so hard not to talk about
politics when you're not talking about
politics.
You don't want them at the same table, you
just don't.
There used to be this tradition.

You mean in the zip code.
You don't want them in the same table as
the zip code.

You're like I'm sorry, your invitation got
lost.
Oh no, did I write 2027?
Oops, there is this theory, this
misconception, that because your ballroom
is split in half, that all the tables on
one side are the bride's family and all the
tables on the left side are the groom's
family.
Like that's BS, that's gone out the window.

(41:21):
I don't believe in that rule.
If you talk to a lot of my clients, they
will tell you that, while I love many
things that are traditional in the wedding
world, I do believe in, like, thinking
outside the box, like there is no reason to
follow certain rules, especially if they
were developed in like the 1920s, like we
don't need to go there.

Like no seating at all.
Everybody's standing, everybody gets a
bench.

It's hot potato.
It's duck duck goose Hot potato, love it.
I'm also not a fan of buffets.
If you have certain groups, put them on
opposite sides of the room.
This isn't something that happens at every
event, but I know it happens more so now in
today's climate.
Politically, there is absolutely nothing
wrong with separating them.

(42:08):
If in any other situation, they would be at
the same table.
Like, don't put them at the same table.
You have a giant ballroom that is 300 feet
by 200 feet.
Why are you putting them together?
Put them on opposite sides of the room or
put them two tables apart?
Um, there is no reason to create an
environment where people can fight, because
that can happen anyway with just alcohol.

Like we don't need to add to it.
Why add the element?

I know, like, really like, let's try to
diffuse potential situations, and politics
is definitely a topic that will come up, no
matter what.
That's what cocktail hour is about.
That's what you know.
The after party is about.
They're going to talk, but making them sit
down when you know they've already had
altercations that's what I'm talking about,

(42:51):
the people that you know.
Like, if uncle John and uncle Stewie fight
every year at Thanksgiving at your table,
let's not put them at the same table at the
wedding.
Right To me, it's a no brainer, like do
yourself a favor, separate and and go with
God.
Go with God, like we're good, and hire a

(43:13):
bouncer.

Tell security and have one of those
restraining jackets just in case.

Hillary, no joke.
I have had brides give me photos of family
members that are not allowed to attend the
wedding.
I'm not saying this is political, but we
have shown it to security people.
We've hired extra security.
You know people can be unpredictable and if
you have that situation you do have to dot
the I's and cross the T's, because that is

(43:41):
a stress.
This bride was particularly stressed
because this one estranged family member
was potentially going to show up, and it
was.
It was stressing her and all we could
theoretically and technically do was make
sure security did not allow them in.
And we did, we did.
He did not show up, but we were prepared in
case he did.

Right, definitely.
Well, that question about politics was a
good one, jodi Jodi from New.

York.
Thank you.

But that kind of leads us into what you
were just saying, and we have a lot more
questions, so we're going to like move
along here.
But we did have a question from someone
that asked specifically.
She said that you know, I'm stressed out
because my in-laws are not American, so
they have a different customs that comes to
weddings.
Look, I remember doing a wedding with you.
With it it was multiple customs that were

(44:27):
incorporated.
It was such a beautiful wedding too.
But how do you deal with that?
How do you deal with the different
backgrounds, the different cultures,
intertwining maybe both things in?
What do you do?
Nadine wants to know.

Well, I'm actually dealing with this right
now with one of my clients and she is
marrying a gentleman and he and his parents
are from a different country and they have
very different customs, extremely different
way of life.
They're wonderful, they're actually
contributing to the wedding, but when these

(45:01):
things happen and I know it sounds like I'm,
you know, passing the buck, but if it's his
family and he, your fiance, is on board
with what you're feeling and your concerns
it's kind of his job to talk to his own
family.
You know, I really do feel that there is
always a way to make them happy and make

(45:22):
yourself happy.
It really would depend on what specifically
is happening custom wise and and there's so
many intricacies about different things
that could be considered offensive to one
custom and are commonly done here in the
States.
But this is where I think a conversation
needs to happen between your fiance with
his actual family, because it is on on,

(45:47):
it's on him, sort of, to represent you guys
as a couple, to relay your feelings as a
couple and provide solutions so that his
parents don't feel disrespected.
Yeah, because that's what it always comes
down to respect.
The bride wants respect, the groom wants
respect, but the bride wants her family not
to feel disrespected, and it's very noble

(46:10):
that people feel that way and they want to
make everyone happy.
But at the same time, it's not your place
necessarily to always smooth everything
over with everyone.
Let your fiance talk to his parents and
explain to them this is what we're doing.
It's not disrespectful, it's commonly done
here.
I know it bothers you, but what if we kind
of change it a little to incorporate what

(46:31):
you would like to see happen?
Usually they're fine, they really are, and
when they're not, go with God.

Get out of that family.
Going back into the religion stuff
Sometimes that's a sign.
You know, and that also leads into another
question We've talked about politics.
We've talked about well, we haven't.
We're talking about political, stop saying
the P word Politics, religion.
The other thing is the acceptance.
And it's not even acceptance.
I'm sorry, I'm not even going to use that

(47:00):
word, but in this day and age, I know you
have and I've been witness to a number of
your weddings that have been LGBTQIA+,
beautiful weddings.
And you know, again, it comes back to the
thing at the day.
At the end of the day, it's two people
coming together who love each other.
Those that love them are there to be there

(47:23):
and be be part of just special moment.
But what do you do?
And adam asked this question.
He is um getting married this year to the
love of his life, matthew.
Congrats, adam, yay.
So adam and matthew and they um are
wondering because they have family members
that aren't.
They really want to be there, but they're
not on board with the whole same-sex

(47:45):
marriage.
That hurts my heart.
That hurts my heart.

I don't get it.
My gut visceral reaction is screw them.
But I understand that you want your family
there.
I understand that you want your family
there.
I've never understood why anyone would care
who marries who.

(48:10):
I've never understood it.
I have always been all about love, even
long before I was a wedding planner.
So it's a very foreign concept for me to
think that someone would have a problem
with a same-sex relationship.
So, putting that aside, as someone who has
watched people get married and know that
some of their family members are not on

(48:31):
board, most of them has always said to me I
don't care if she comes or she doesn't come,
and I applaud that I do.
So if you're not able to say to them look,
listen, you don't want to come, don't come.
We love you, no matter what.
We understand you feel the way you feel.
We wish you didn't In our hearts you'll be

(48:52):
there, then you say that.
But if it really bothers you and you want
to try to convince them, just know it's
usually futile, like in my experience.
Trying to convince someone of something as
monumental as that is really hard to do.
And if you already are working full-time

(49:12):
jobs, planning a wedding, maybe you're
buying a house or maybe you already have a
kid.
Whatever it may be, to add that to your
list.
To try to change someone's beliefs, their
archaic, homophobic beliefs like that's a
lot to take on.
So that's why I initially said let them go.
If they don't want to come, that's not your

(49:34):
problem.
They'll regret it one day.
They from what I understand most people
will eventually regret those decisions.

Not being there not celebrating.

I don't get it.
I don't get it.
And again, I'm not a therapist, I'm not an
expert in the LGBTQ community.
I can just tell you that I know people and
when people have that in them, they're not
going to change their minds because you
call them and say it's going to be such a
pretty wedding.

(50:03):
Please come, we love you.
Their belief system is not your fault,
that's right.
And it's not your responsibility to
convince them that they should approve your
love.
Nobody needs to approve your love.
Yeah, and you should never stress because
someone doesn't think you should get
married to a man or a woman, or it's just a

(50:25):
foreign concept to me, and to know that it
could be a source of stress breaks my heart.

Well, I'll tell you what else just breaks
my heart and really ticks me off?

Quite frankly, there are vendors out there
that won't serve the LGBTQIA plus community
Do not get me started and I know we've had
that conversation community Do not get me
started, and I know we've had that
conversation.
I mean, what are you thinking?
Again, I don't understand.
Listen, if you want to refuse someone's
business because they're unkind, they're
rude, they're disrespectful, they're penny

(50:56):
pinching, they're low balling you, it's not
a good fit, that's fine.
You can refuse anyone's business.
But to simply get an inquiry and all you
know about them is the wedding is this date,
it's at this location and his name is John
and the other guy's name is Steve and you
go.
I don't want your wedding Again blows my

(51:17):
mind.
Good for you.
You have so much money in the bank that you
can turn down this couple's money simply
because they're gay.
Good for you.
But you know what Shame on you.
At the same time, I have no space in my
brain for that.

That stresses me out quite honestly, but
you know what it's like when they go low,
you go high.

That's it, the market is so saturated.
Move on from those shucks.
Move on.
You know what?
You don't want that negative energy around
you anyway.
You go find a business that's got the flag
all over their social.
You go find a business that is LGBTQ owned.
You go and support where you want to

(51:58):
support, because there's plenty of vendors
out there who will give you top-notch
service, regardless of your sexual
orientation.

Absolutely, definitely.
All right, we got to run through these real
quick.
I want to get like two or three more, so
you know we never shut up.
No, we don't like this could be like a two
hour podcast, but I want to get some of
these in because we did have some people
that actually shared their names and where
they're from.
All right, so Jess from New Jersey.
She got married this last year and she's
like I haven't sent out my thank you cards.

Shout out to.

Jess, I get it.
What do we do?
What do we do for Jess?

Okay, Well, according to etiquette, you
technically have a year.
I'm a big believer.
Try to get those bad boys out in the first
three months, mainly because I hate what
procrastination does.
And you wait, and you wait.
You're never going to do it, and then
you're going to end up sending a text and
then it's going to be a group text.
Just as a matter of fact, I've had brides
that are like I know I'm not going to get

(52:55):
them done.
They pre-order them when they order their
invitations.
So have your stationer who's making your
invitations.
Or, if you're getting them online, order
your thank you cards and literally like
have them addressed already on the outside,
assuming all these people are going to come
and give you a gift.
You know, if they don't give you a gift,
you should send them a thank you card, um,
and have the bulk of the work done, and

(53:16):
then all you have to do is is handwrite a
little something and, if you're really lazy,
get them pre-printed, pre-printed with your
like loves, yeah, like get a little note
already pre-printed and then maybe you just
sign them in ink and do a little heart or
something Um, and you don't make them.
You know personal and specific, but if you
know you're a procrastinator, just

(53:37):
pre-order them.
Yeah, honestly, you have to send a thank
you card.
You have to.

And another option is like when you get
your pictures back pick your favorite
picture and make that your holiday card for
the next year.
Go, go for it.
There are no rules.

There are no more.
But listen, and I will say, because of how
technology has changed the way weddings are
planned and just how the world operates in
general, I do think you should send thank
you cards, but if you are truly running
behind, and you just are, you can't do it.
It is absolutely okay to initially send
personal texts to family members, thanking

(54:11):
them again for being part of your most
special day, and then maybe put a cute
little thing in there that says you know,
formal thank you cards are coming soon, but
I just wanted you to know how amazing it
was to have you there and thank you for
your gracious gift.
But send them some acknowledgement.
People want to be acknowledged.

What about electronic greetings Like?
That's a big thing now, especially in this
digital age like?

same thing instead of a text.
If you want to do some type of e-greeting
or whatever, that's fine, but I do think a
lot of people still expect a written card,
especially older generation, or something
printed.
Yes, it really is the older generation, um
the the younger kids.
They're probably fine with just a text, to
be honest.
But, like me, I'm 50.

(54:53):
I would not be offended if someone sent me
a thank you text and not a thank you card.
I wouldn't care.

And it opened up.
It opens up the line of communication for
that person to say, oh my gosh, how's
everything been the first five months or
six months?
Like open the line of dialogue, that's how
we communicate these days.
Yes, All right, let me.
We're going to do one more question, and
this is because we have a bride that's
actually getting married in the next two
months, jen, from New Jersey.
Jennifer, about two months away from our

(55:19):
wedding, just completely stressed out about
finances.
I feel like we're in such a good place and
now just feel like we're scrambling to make
it all work.
Oh, I know there's other brides and grooms
out there that are feeling this right now.
So how do you deal with all of that?
The budget, just it just keeps growing.
It just keeps getting more stressful.
How do we nip this in the bud, jen?

(55:40):
What do we do for?

Jennifer.
Well, here's the thing about wedding
budgets.
A lot of times people go over their planned
budget and they do so because all the
sparkle of all the add-ons is just too
captivating to say no to.
And in the end they in the end not during,

(56:01):
but in the end they will often add up and
they'll see the total and they'll go whoa,
we're 10,000 over where we want it to be.
That is immediately going to cause stress.
Here's the thing that people need to
realize is that there are certain things
that you probably can't change the cost of
because they've already been negotiated and
there's no wiggle room, like your

(56:23):
photographer, videographer, things like
that, but other elements of your wedding
that involve tangibles that aren't
purchased yet flowers, centerpieces,
bouquets, um amount of food at your venue
although that's not where I ever suggest
cutting you know the type of wedding day
stationery you buy.

(56:44):
There are ways in the last two months to
start to save.
There are places to cut costs In the last
couple of months of your wedding.
What a lot of brides don't realize is that
you still have the option to change things.
You can go back to your florist who hasn't
ordered flowers yet, who hasn't received a
final deposit yet, and you can say listen,
I got to save a little bit of money.
Can we kind of scale back the centerpieces?

(57:06):
Can we maybe scale back the ceremony decor?
Maybe talk to your DJ Did you get a lot of
lights?
Did you get a lot of screens?
Maybe cut one or two of those add-ons out.
Were you planning on doing, you know,
custom menu cards and custom table numbers
and ceremony programs and favor tags?
Maybe you eliminate some of those or you go
the DIY route if you must.

(57:27):
But I say this because a lot of brides feel
like they don't have that option in the end.
But there's always a way to save.
You can't uninvite people, that's rude.
You can't suddenly not serve them dinner
that's rude.
And don't have an open bar.
I mean don't, no, no.

Don't have a cash bar, don't close the bar.

Make sure you have an open bar.

Yeah, I never understood that?

No, I never understood that, because if
you're super stressing out about finances,
first try to figure out a way to save some
money.
In the end, at least you can start to feel
like you did something responsible
financially.
And start to feel like you did something
responsible financially.
Aside from that, you know there's always
OnlyFans.

Jeez, no, this show is sponsored by jeez
Louise.
Oh my God, that's hilarious.

I'm joking, but my point is get creative
with, with budget cutting.
You know, I've seen I've heard stories of
brides who are like I got to get a second
job and I'm like, really for one day no,
really overwhelming for one day.
You know, and and I'm in the luxury wedding
industry like that's my sector and I'm
still going to sit here and say, if you
need to get a second job to pay for your
flowers, you know, maybe you need to.

(58:45):
You know, get a different florist or
reevaluate your vision.

Yeah, by the way, I only said it once that
I need another job when I was planning.
She's using me as an example.

I'm pretty sure, I'm so not, but a lot of
brides do that, like a lot of brides do
that, and there's so much you're hustling
so much just to yeah.
They're like I'm tutoring, I'm thinking of
waiting tables, Like not my clients per se,
but I see this happen all the time, Like
it's brides really want to have that

(59:19):
perfect day and in order to do that, they
need more money and they'll go to any
length to get it.

You know within reason, All right.
These are great questions, everyone Listen.
If you want more guidance or if you need a
wedding planner or an event planner, please
get in touch with Jenny.
I'm going to share all of her information
in the notes of this podcast.
She does answer questions.
I know you get a slew of them on social
media, on your Instagram.
You do, you're really, you're really
generous with your time, but it was good

(59:46):
that we were able to like really hone in on
these and there's so many questions, so I
will share her information.
But let's move on to some fun stuff we're
going to play the rapid fire game Hold on,
I need to move this oh, by the way, this,
if you're watching on YouTube, is the um
beautiful.
what is this?
This is the wallpaper that you encouraged
me to get.
That is still sitting on my floor, right?

(01:00:10):
Because, uh, procrastination was my problem
and I was telling you something pretty
funny about no, about that.

Jenny Orsini (01:00:16):
You're not a procrastinator.
I think you are extremely indecisive and
you like to make very informed decisions,
and I think it's a it's a plus and it's a
testament to your personality.

Hilary Russo (01:00:29):
I don't think you're a procrastinator.

I think you are absolutely diligent in your
decision.
It needed to be the perfect shade of blue.

I know and like it's funny I'm the same way.

I can design a client's wedding with my
eyes closed and make decisions, but picking
paint for my bathroom takes me six months
and you change things left and right, you
really do.

I mean, I look, I'm probably the only
person that ever stays in her guest room at
her house and that that room has moved so
many times that if I was like Helen Keller,
I wouldn't even know where, I wouldn't know
where the bed is.
I would like she moves things around on me
and I'm like, and she's like, by the way, I
just bought new pillows for your room and
I'm like, okay, like there's there need to

(01:01:10):
be 300 pillows on this bed.
And where is the bed?
Cause before it was on this wall.
So you know that my, like my best friend
here is a true designer, not just in a
wedding planner, she is the designer.
You have more throw pillows than I know
what to do with and I'm always like, if you
ever get rid of anything, just like let me
look through them before you toss them out.

By the way, we're redoing our living room
right now.
Perfect, I'll be right over.

Okay, um, by the way, I might've bought
children's wallpaper, because this came
with it.
And what I'm showing folks right now is I
was looking on my floor and I saw this
thing sitting on my floor, upside down, and
I realized like, why is it all rolled up?
I open it up, it's like a unicorn with the
word dream on it and I'm like, oh my God.

(01:01:55):
I bought little boys wallpaper.

Or little girls.

You did it.
I might actually put this up.
I love unicorns.
I wonder if it comes with more stickers.
I might just put stickers behind the blue
wallpaper once I put it up.

I'm very excited about this.
I'm going to get you a unicorn pillow.

I loved my unicorn stuff growing up by the
way, like that stuff's coming back One of
the stickers.
It's coming back, man, everything was like
the satin plushy things we had Such.

Gen X God, the 80s rocked.

I missed our Gen X days.

Can we do a podcast on the 80s?

Oh, that would be fun.
We should.

Yeah, like HIListically.

Yeah, HIListically.

How the 80s screwed you up and how you can
fix it now.

If you can find the spin, I will do it.

All right, I'll work on that.

All I will do it All right, I'll work on
that All right, but let's first play a
little brain candy.
You know this game is basically is I've
been writing down words that you've been
saying during this podcast episode.
You need to come back with one word, with
the one word I throw out to you.
So this is the word association.
If I throw out a word, what's the first
word that comes to mind?
Okay, oh, please, please, you can play this.
All right, I know you like to plan.

(01:03:04):
I mean, all the questions came at me like
17 days ago, but I didn't.

I didn't prepare for this.
Honestly, this is like a game show.

That's exactly right, jenny Orsini, okay,
here we go.
First word that comes to mind when you hear
the word budgets, one word Google, google
your budgets.
Okay, no, like budget, friendly, friendly,
good planning, necessary bridesmaids no, no,

(01:03:39):
pretty, pretty, unnecessary.
You're gonna make a deal?
No, no, pretty Pretty.
Friendship, important, definitely.
Bridezilla.
Is that a word?
It is now Ew, ew, yeah, politics, double ew.

Yeah, no, no.

No, the answer is no Right.
Healthy, happy Wedding.

Planner.

Bride Gorgeous Groom.

Phantom Stress Dad.

Love Always yeah, girl, always right.
Love this, love you too.
Oh, my goodness, this was good.
I think we answered a lot of questions.
These are questions I wish I had back in
the day before.
There was even Jenny, the wedding planner,
although you were very helpful in every
step of the way with both weddings.
You know what?
Here's a big question for you, and people
might want to know this.
I mean as a wedding planner planning your
own wedding.
You know, I remember you had a beautiful
wedding, I loved your wedding, but how, how

(01:04:55):
was it, how are you able to separate
yourself from that whole experience?

What's interesting is, the weddings I plan
for a living are the complete antithesis of
what I had when I got married.
I had a four minute ceremony and a 48 hour
party near the beach in Cape May, new
Jersey.
It was intimate.
I was more focused on the most delicious
food and being by the water, and it was

(01:05:19):
only 80.
It was.
It was perfect for me at the time.
Now I will say, if I was to get married
again tomorrow, I would want a big, lavish
wedding.
I just I would want one because there's so
much fricking fun.

A different type of fun they are, and your
wedding was gorgeous and if you ever do it
again, we should totally post that photo of
you and I at my wedding.

We will post some photos.
There will be some fun stuff Y'all.

There was some fun stuff with the wedding,
so we've we've done, especially yours.

We have done it, all we have done it all.

Girlfriend, I love you.
Thank you so much for being a part of this
whole process and saying yes to not just
the dress for all of the brides and those
that you support, but just saying yes to,
HIListically speaking, and your bestie,
your BFF, me, me, me, me me.

Absolutely my pleasure and I think what you
are doing is phenomenal, and I think the
bridal community should be extremely
thankful for your contributions as well,
because you help people, I help people, but
you help people as well, and this was super,
super fun and optional calories.

All right, I love you, girl.
Love you too, hugs, bye, hugs.
Wow.
So many great questions coming into
Loved every single one of them.
And listen, we didn't get to answer every
single one because there were a lot of you
that were asking Jenny questions.
But guess what?
You can get in touch with Jenny by checking

(01:06:49):
the podcast notes of this episode, because
I shared all the links to get in touch with
her and connect with her and ask her any
questions you might have.
And listen, if you are still searching for
a wedding or event planner, there is nobody
better than Jenny Orsini and I can say that
firsthand, not just because she's my BFF,
but she knows what she's doing.

(01:07:10):
And if you find that you need additional
support on your wedding journey to stress
less, I got you.
Reach out to me.
I have a wonderful gift to support the
mindful bride that puts the power in your
hands to stress less and just say yes to
the dress.
And speaking of gifts, we have an
incredible giveaway happening this month,

(01:07:32):
this love month, thanks to our friends over
at New City Florist.
Head on over to my Instagram Hilary Russo
or HIListically Speaking for details on how
you can take home some delicious,
delectable dozen chocolate covered
strawberries.
And listen, you don't have to share them,
you can keep them all to yourself.

(01:07:52):
But just go to those pages to see how to
enter and with each person that you tell
and tag, it is another entry for you to
take home this incredible, delicious, sweet
gift that is from me to you and my friends
over at New City Florist that are providing
these lovely strawberries.

(01:08:13):
All right, HIListically Speaking is edited
by 2MarketMedia, with music by Lipo and
Redding and, of course, supported by you.
So thanks again for sharing your love and
giving your love right back to me on the
show.
And never forget, please, that it all boils
down to this no matter what kind of wedding
you have, even if you choose not to have a
wedding, the real gift is that at the end

(01:08:34):
of the day, you get to spend your life with
the one that you love the most, right and
just, no matter what happens.
That is really what it's all about.
I love you, I believe in you and I'm
sending hugs your way.
Be well.

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Ep180 - The Mindful Bride: Say Yes to the Dress Not the Stress with Jenny Orsini

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep180 - The Mindful Bride: Say Yes to the Dress Not the Stress with Jenny Orsini